Random Rita ~ Friday Feature Fic!

Wet Rob Avi

Evenin’, ladies!

Sorry I’m late with today’s post *pouty face!* But, lucky for me, it’s still Friday in the time zones east of here LOL!

Since I was only able to organize text and visuals to rec one fic, I made sure it was a good one!

Now, if you were followin’ the comments from last week’s post, you probably saw our sweet Zveka rec The Vagabond by Ellen92!

Well, havin’ already read so many Homelesswards recently, I checked out Ellen92’s profile to see what else she had in store and found five fics…ALL complete!


Then my eyes lit up when I read the summary for…

Rob Attack


Don’t let anyone in. Be invisible. Avoid everyone. That’s my motto and I’ve been able to live by that, until now, until she came along. AH

Rated: Fiction T – English – Romance/Hurt/Comfort – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 53 – Words: 78,319 – Reviews: 1,781 – Favs: 413 – Follows: 290 – Updated: Oct 18, 2012 – Published: Jun 14, 2012 – Status: Complete – id: 8217088

If there’s any story for which I’m a total sucker, it’s one where Edward is either physically or mentally challenged! Watchin’ him persevere and overcome is immensely satisfyin’…well, not quite as satisfyin’ as a damn good lemon, but you know what I mean LMAO!

“Freak!” he whispered acidly in my direction, his eyes boring in mine. I quickly looked at my feet, avoiding his poisonous gaze while I kept walking towards my first class.

Yes, I was highly aware that I was the school freak.

Freak, mute, loner… I’ve heard it all. Every insult had been thrown my way. Not very often luckily, but every once in a while, just to remind me of my place within this school system, I guess.

But I tended not to react to it. I ignored it. All of it. All of them. And I was good at it.

Oh, yeah! Our boy was very good at bein’ invisible until…

After I had collected my books, I reached behind me to take my jacket from my chair, only to realize it wasn’t there. My brow furrowed in confusion.

When did I last have it?

I was mentally going over my day, trying to remember when I could have lost it. And then it hit me. I must have forgotten it in the lockers room after PE… That was the only possibility. I threw a quick glance at my watch and realized that if I would go pick it up now, I’d be late in math. Not gonna happen. Guess I’ll have to go get it after school.

Who knew the simple act of forgettin’ his jacket would change Edward’s life forever!

I quickly walked through the building to the boy’s lockers room. I was just going to snatch that stupid jacket of the rack and speed home but as I passed the girl’s lockers room, I saw that the door was slightly open, only by a few inches, but enough to be able to peek inside. It wasn’t intentionally that I looked, but when my eyes fell on a figure inside, I couldn’t look away.

I was lost as well, trying to take in her beauty. But then she suddenly turned around and looked at me, her eyes widening as she caught me staring at her almost naked body. My brain started racing at a hundred miles an hour as the initial shock in her eyes changed into white fury. I was caught red handed.

I had failed to be invisible.

Yeah, that didn’t go over too well with Bella!

“What the hell?” I yelled, in a reflex covering as much skin as possible with my hands.

His eyes widened in fear as he realized he had been caught before he quickly turned around, as red as a tomato, and fled out of the hallway.

He was already in the parking lot – which was empty by now – when I caught up with him.

“Who do you think you are?” I shouted, still walking hurriedly towards him. He stopped abruptly and slowly turned around, fear still evident in his eyes, but I didn’t care. He has harassed me so I had every right to shout at him.

“I’m… I-I-I’m-mm…” he stuttered.

To see if his life changed for the better or for worse…you’ll have to read to find out Bwahahaha!

Lookin’ forward to hearin’ what fics you’ve been readin’ this week!

Happy Friday, y’all!


Night Raider


Filed under Fan Fiction Recs, Rita01tx

Random Rita ~ Friday Feature Fics!


Wet Rob Avi

Afternoon ladies!

This mornin’, a little birdie told me our sweet Naughtyhisbella had an electrical fire at her house!

I’m pleased to report no one was hurt but my fingers are crossed hopin’ the damage wasn’t enough to make her…

{Ladysmith Black Mambazo / artwork by Bernard Ndichu Njuguna}

Homeless, homeless
Moonlight sleeping on a midnight lake
Homeless, homeless
Moonlight sleeping on a midnight lake
We are homeless, we are homeless
The moonlight sleeping on a midnight lake
And we are homeless, homeless, homeless
The moonlight sleeping on a midnight lake

What a coincidence! Homeless Edward is the theme for today’s recs LOL!

Searchin’ through my TBR, I was actually surprised at the number of fics where either Edward or Bella, or both, found themselves homeless for one reason or another! I’m bettin’ you’ve all read at least one but have you read these?

Rob Attack

{banner by FallingsnowWinter}


Bella has been blessed with the finer things in life. She has always been focused on what she has and never understanding that money doesn’t buy you everything. It will take one stupid bet and a homeless man to teach her what really is important in life. Can Edward get through to snobby Bella Swan and show her what she has been missing? AH HEA Mature.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Humor – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 26 – Words: 121,040 – Reviews: 1,066 – Favs: 606 – Follows: 785 – Updated: Sep 8 – Published: May 10 – Status: Complete – id: 10336818

What I loved most about IBACULLEN’s story were some of the epic snarkfests between Edward and Bella!

“Hey you.” I called.

“Is that you…Richie Bitch?” He looked me over, “What happened to you?”

“What do you mean?”

“You just look like a box of crayons that’s been out in the sun too long.” He smirked.

“Screw you, dude. I have had a really bad morning. You have no idea how hard it is to work all morning in the hot sun and still have nothing to show for it.”

Homeless dude shook his cup at me, “No…I have no idea how that is. Please enlighten me.”

“That’s not what I mean. Ugh…never mind, anyways I just wanted to stop and tell you that you’re wrong about me. I’m not as big of a…Richie Bitch as you thought. I gave a homeless man a thousand dollars the other night. He didn’t ask me for it, I just gave it to him…on Sunset Boulevard, in the middle of traffic…so there.”

“Really?” He asked taken aback.

“Don’t believe me?”

“No…I believe you…I know that man you gave that money to. He came into the soup kitchen with tears in his eyes and then gave that thousand dollar bill to the owners.”

“What? Why would he do that? I gave him that money so that he could do something with it.” I exclaimed.

“He did do something with it. He gave back because…the soup kitchen has always been there for him and he wanted to repay the debt.”

I slumped against the car completely flabbergasted shaking my head.

“You don’t think he did the right thing?” he asked.

“No! I mean, he could have rented a cheap motel for a couple of days and had a real meal instead of some slop from a soup kitchen. I should have given it to someone else.”

“Most people would feel happy hearing that their money went to a good cause…most people think that you give a homeless man money, he’ll just go and spend it on liquor.”

“Yea, I suppose that liquor would be worse. Anyway, I have a lot of work to get done…I should get going.”

“Work? Finally decided to not live off your parents?” he questioned.

“No…I just…have a project I’m working on. I’m sure to you it’s stupid but to me it’s…personal.”

“What project? Is that the reason why you look like a paint pallete?”

“I don’t want to tell you, you’ll just think it’s stupid and shallow. I’ve had enough judging from you for a day.”

“Uh…Miss, that’s all you do of me. Just tell me the project. I will try not to make you feel bad about yourself.”

I rolled my eyes and still don’t know why I am standing here talking to this man, especially out in the open where we can be seen.

“I made a bet with a friend and the stakes are really high.” I sighed.

He waits for me to continue.

Believe me…this was just the tip of the iceberg LMAO!


Rob Attack


EPOV, Homeless Edward is down on his luck when he meets a girl who is a breath away from joining his homeless status. Can they save each other?

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Humor – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 46 – Words: 116,203 – Reviews: 1,852 – Favs: 1,228 – Follows: 599 – Updated: May 2, 2012 – Published: Jun 30, 2011 – Status: Complete – id: 7133208

Poor Edward can’t catch a break when it comes to his initial encounters with Bella LMAO!

When the light changed, I crossed the street and headed out to get dinner. I got my sandwich to go because I didn’t like the way people looked at me or cringed away from me when I sat in the restaurant. I was walking back to my night spot with my dinner bag when some headlights blinded me. I put my hand up squinting, unable to make out who it was or what they wanted.

“What’s in the bag?” I heard a woman’s voice ask.

“A double cheeseburger,” I answered because that was what it was.

“Throw it over here.”

“What? No, this is my dinner.”

“Fine, set it down and back away from it.”

“NO! I’m hungry, what the hell is your problem?”

“I have pepper spray,” she threatened.

I dropped my head in defeat. I didn’t have another shirt and it was too damn cold to wash it off at this time of night. The bitch had me. I set the bag down. “Come on, please, it’s my only dinner and I don’t have any more money.”

“Back away from the bag.”

“Please don’t take it,” I begged like a weak little girl.

“Take off your shirt.”

“What? Ma’am, I’m not that kind of person. I don’t just…”

“Shut up, take off your shirt, and hold your arms out.”

“It’s freezing cold tonight, Ma’am. Why are you doing this? You’ve got a car to sleep in.”

“Now!” she said holding up the pepper spray.

“Toss me your shirt and hold out your arms,” she demanded and I hesitated.

“Hurry up before you freeze your butt off,” she snapped. I tossed her my shirt and I noticed she sniffed it. She walked toward me cautiously. She was just out of arm’s reach and eyeing my arms. “Turn your hands up,” she commanded, so I did. “Now take off your shoes.”

“Look, you can have my sweater, but please leave me my shoes. They’re the only ones I have and they won’t even fit you.”

“Take them off now!” she snapped. I sighed and toed them off. “Your socks, too, and sit on the ground and stick your feet out. Do it now,” she commanded.

I dropped my head and pulled off my socks. To my surprise, she squatted down and looked at my toes. “You got some freaky toe fetish or something?” I asked annoyed.

“No,” she said and threw my sweater at me. I quickly put it back on, thankful that she gave it back. “Put your shoes back on. Where are you sleeping tonight?”

“What’s it to you? Are you going to try and steal my pack or something? Look, lady, whatever you want, just tell me now, okay?”

“Get in the truck and don’t try anything funny.”

“What? You’re kidnapping me?”

“Are you homeless?”

“What’s it to you?”

“Are you really willing to work?”

“Yeah, but I’m not a gigolo.”

“Shut up and get in the truck,” she commanded.

“Can I bring my dinner?” I asked.

You’ll have to read Home is Where You Are to find out just exactly what the hell Bella wanted our homeless Edward to do for her!

Rob Attack

{banner by Cared}


A homeless boy, hitch-hiking in the snow, a woman on her own, running from an abusive relationship. Is she crazy to stop, or are their paths destined to cross? Can this mismatched pair find succour and salvation together, or will their pasts intrude and drive them apart? AH, rated M. Two-times winner of The Lemonade Stand Fic of the Week Poll.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Hurt/Comfort – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 25 – Words: 125,139 – Reviews: 2,824 – Favs: 1,558 – Follows: 1,603 – Updated: Aug 3, 2013 – Published: Mar 2, 2013 – Status: Complete – id: 9061275

In Where Roads Converge, Bella literally saves Edward’s life by pickin’ him up while he’s tryin’ to hitchhike in the middle of a blizzard!

The first thing that occurred to her was how stupid she was to let a hitchhiker sit alone inside her car with the engine running.

This thought was totally overridden by the sight of said hitchhiker curled up in the passenger seat, his teeth clattering loudly as his body was wracked with uncontrollable and violent spasms—clearly, he would have been incapable of doing anything, let alone getting behind the wheel and driving away.

Hey, kid… hey, can you hear me?” she asked. She put her hand on his arm and was appalled to find that his leather jacket was waterlogged and freezing. Lowering her hand to his leg, which shook and jerked like he was suffering from St Vitus’ Dance, she soon realised that all his clothes were soaked through and that if he was going to survive he needed to get out of them.

“Kid… shit, what’s your name? You need to change out of these clothes. Do you understand me?”

“M-m-m-my n-n-name iiiis Eh-eh-eh-Edward,” he whispered, his teeth chattering so hard he could barely get the words out.

God, I loved this fic and sat for weeks bitin’ my nails waitin’ for each new update LOL!

So, what are your favorite “homeless” fics?

Happy Friday, y’all


Night Raider


Filed under Fan Fiction Recs, Rita01tx

Random Rita ~ Friday Feature Fics!

Wet Rob Avi

Good afternoon, ladies!

Takin’ y’all back to the 50’s today!

Not all the best stories are found on FanFictionNet, especially nowadays when so many authors have migrated elsewhere after the somanyeth purge!

Honeybee Meadows is just such an author and her fic, Don’t Look/No Promises, has its own special place on her blog!

Rob Attack


Rated: Fiction M – English – Angst/Romance – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 15 – Updated: Jul 11, 2014 – Published: Jun 24, 2014 – Status: Complete

Each chapter gives the reader both POVs:


The girls stole the car at midnight.

It was always midnight. Always a different car. Always half a pint in. Always done with their teeth in their lips trying to muffle their drunken giggles and always for the thrill of it, nothing more than that.

This time it was a Thunderbird. A new one. Shiny baby blue paint and silver hubcaps. White leather seats. Sitting low and squat and perfect for picking.

Bella always drove.


- – – -


Edward watched them steal his car.

Sat in the dark on his porch with a fading cigarette between his lips and allowed them to pick the lock. Three girls in matching jackets, matching curled hair, matching skirts. Rolled up short and held down tight, eyes lined with wings and lips lined with blood. Hairdos and kitten heels and enough bared skin to make his mouth water.

Which was why he basically let them steal the Bird right out from underneath his nose.

He’d been looking at those girls for a while now.

The one he had his eye on, little-big-eyes, that long brown hair and those hips and the fuckme mouth painted pink instead of red, she was the one who got in behind the wheel.

He could have stopped them. But he didn’t.

Ha! I’ll tell you this right now, Edward should have stopped them because those girls totally trashed his beloved Bird and, oh, did he make Bella pay for that LMAO!

The twists and turns these two took before givin’ in to the inevitable was so much fun to read, I’m compelled to share it with you!



Rob Attack


Eddie Masen had it all; power, intuition, and the hottest rock-n-roll band in the country. One night his car went off a dark Washington State bridge. His body never found and his dream never lost. Twelve years later the mystery of Eddie begins to unravel.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Mystery/Romance – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 13 – Words: 54,611 – Reviews: 516 – Favs: 295 – Follows: 223 – Updated: Aug 12, 2011 – Published: May 24, 2011 – Status: Complete – id: 7016988

Alice Brandon, TV reporter, is diggin’ up the past and will do anything to get at the truth about what happened to Eddie and the Cruisers…

“On August fifth, Eddie’s car drove off the Eighth Street Bridge in Port Angeles.Now, it’s believed that he committed suicide,” Alice started delivering her pitch, slowly, not wanting to divulge too much before they weren’t interested in hearing what else she had to say.

“Believed?” one of the men questioned.

Alice nodded. “Yes. See, Eddie’s car was found, but his body never was.”

“Fifteen years ago, Eddie and the Cruisers were the biggest no name group to come out of Washington since Nirvana.”

A TV played in the background showing the band from their earlier days while Alice Brandon filled in the people around her on what was to be her first primetime special. She had been gathering all the information, contacting the key players before she  divulged what would either make or break her career.

At the same time, Rosalie Hale is tryin’ to convince Bella Swan to write a book about her life with Edward and the band…

Convincing Bella that she should share with the world the other side of Eddie and the Cruisers proved to be a little harder than she expected. At first Bella was reluctant to the idea. She didn’t want to exploit Eddie or any of the other members of the band. Eventually, after some much needed convincing, Bella gave into Rosalie’s request. Rosalie was surprised, after all the pleading she had done, that Bella had already in fact begun to document their love affair. She had note books with words written in them that were poetic enough to write a chart topping song.

“I wasn’t the lyrical genius that Eddie or the Jazz Man were,” Bella had told her when she allowed Rosalie to see her notes.

Rosalie thought otherwise. From that moment on, the two women began crafting Bella’s first novel. The one, now after eight years, that would finally be hitting the shelves if only Bella could decide which ending to go with.

“Rosalie, stop,” Bella stated sternly. “I know what I have to do. I’m sorry I’m not making this easy for anyone. This was my life though. How can I put an ending on something I never wanted to end?”

I read this fic a long time ago and had another quick look through it last night to refresh my memory. Bella’s grief at havin’ to go on without Edward at her side is heartbreakin’, as is the impact his absence has had on the other band members.

There’s also the mystery of the stolen studio tapes from the night before Edward’s car went off the bridge that fateful night!

Who took them and why???

All in all, this is a great read not to be missed!

So, what are my lovelies readin’ this week?

Happy Friday, y’all!


Night Raider


Filed under Fan Fiction Recs, Rita01tx

Random Rita ~ Friday Feature Fics!

Wet Rob Avi

Afternoon, ladies!

Each time I cruised past the summary for my first rec, I’d pause and read it one more time…promisin’ myself I’d get to it one of these days.

Of course, I’d be in Daddyward mode or Vamp mode, Angst mode…anything but TooCuteForMe mode LOL!

Finally, I couldn’t stand it another minute and that’s why I’m treatin’ you to…

Rob Attack


When a crying Girl Scout with bloody knees showed up on the Cullens’ doorstep to sell cookies, no one in the family knew that the girl would become a part of the family, least of all, a twelve-year old Edward. Over the years, things changed, but one thing remained constant…Bella Swan and Edward Cullen were drawn to each other. AH,Canon Couples/Rated M/language/later lemons.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Hurt/Comfort/Romance – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 26 – Words: 106,629 – Reviews: 1,736 – Favs: 924 – Follows: 851 – Updated: Mar 31, 2013 – Published: Feb 15, 2013 – Status: Complete – id: 9012517

“Short stuff, what’s your name?” he asked as he sat on the top step as the girl went to her wagon and reorganized the load after having given Esme her three boxes of cookies.

“I’m Isabella Marie Swan. I like Bella best, but my grandma calls me Isabella. My best friend, Alice, calls me Bell, like from ‘Beauty and the Beast’. My daddy calls me Bells,” the girl introduced herself.

Esme watched as Edward stuck out his hand and introduced himself. “I’m Edward Anthony Cullen. I don’t go by anything else because I hate other nicknames, but Bella is nice. Maybe you could show me around the neighborhood while you sell your cookies? I’ll walk along with you as you go, and I’ll take a box of Samoas.”

Esme stood on the porch and watched Edward hand the girl three dollars, receiving fifty cents in change. She paid the girl for her cookie purchases, and after business was transacted, she watched her son shove his hands in the pockets of his hooded sweatshirt as he walked next to the Girl Scout pulling a rust-speckled, red, Radio Flyer wagon behind her loaded down with cookies. In her mind, she’d never been more proud of her son.

I’m callin’ this fic “TooCuteForMe” because, aside from a few bumps in the road, I mostly had the biggest grin on my face the whole way through!

With Renee out of the picture and Charlie workin’ long hours, Bella is left on her own far too often until Esme Cullen takes her under her wing. It doesn’t take long for her to become a beloved member of the family, with all three Cullen boys…Emmett, Jasper and Edward, bein’ very protective of her.

Carlisle usually plays a peripheral role in family fics but you will love SameKraemer’s Carlisle in this story! The boys don’t understand how he seems to be three steps ahead of them their whole lives…goin’ so far as to believe he’s a mindreader. I won’t reveal the secret of his parentin’ success here but you’ll get such a kick out of it LMAO!

Of course, when Edward and Bella are finally old enough to begin havin’ more than familial feelin’s for each other, Carlisle is the first to know. Problem is, Bella is underage and the web of lies she and Edward weave to hide what’s goin’ on becomes truly Machiavellian!

As for the abovementioned “bumps in the road,” they help Bella mature beyond her tender years and, in the end, she and Edward absolutely get the HEA they deserve!


When I first started readin’ this WIP, I mistook it for a “TooCuteForMe” fic. After all, Bella is a precocious child {a.ka. jailbait} who catches the eye of an older boy and I held my heart thinkin’ he might take advantage of her!

Rob Attack

{banner by Mr. Happening}


He once told me I stared at the sun too long. “You keep looking, Dimples, and you’re gonna miss the one thing that rises and shines for you.” He was right. (ExB. Rated M)

Rated: Fiction M – English – Angst/Romance – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 23 – Words: 49,537 – Reviews: 1,069 – Favs: 517 – Follows: 956 – Updated: 1h ago – Published: Aug 7 – id: 10600676

A stranger steps up to rescue little Bella and Alice from financial embarrassment when they come up short at the ice cream stand.

“We’re not little!” Alice stomps her feet, proving his point. As her pigtails swing side to side, I feel what he sees.

“We’re 15. We’re gonna be sophomores this year.” I say it proudly, like I’ve accomplished something. “What about you?

Are you a senior?”

“Something like that.”

“Cadillac, let’s go fucker!” The guys behind him are waving their hands, wondering why in the hell he’s talking to us.


That’s not even a real name.

“See ya around, Dimples.”

He starts to turn away, like I’ve offended him. I let him go ’cause Alice is tugging on my arm.

I walk a few feet, but turn and yell back to him. “Hey! Why do you keep calling me that? I don’t have any dimples.”

He smirks. I see it even though the sun is blinding us and the ice cream stand is getting further and further away.

He doesn’t answer, but Alice digs her cold fingers into the arched part of my lower back.

“I don’t think he meant the ones on your face.”

So we get our first glimpse of Edward “Cadillac” Cullen and he’s too old for her…she doesn’t care! But in the end, who’s takin’ advantage of whom?

There are dark, shockin’ twists and turns in this story…none of the sweetness and light we find in Scout’s Honor, all of which speaks to the AngstHoor in me LMAO!

Now, what fics have you burnin’ the midnight oil?

Happy Friday, y’all!


Night Raider


Filed under Fan Fiction Recs, Rita01tx

Random Rita ~ Friday Feature Fics!

Wet Rob Avi

Good mornin’, ladies!

Today’s feature fics are guaranteed to give you lots of warm and fuzzies attributable to the cuteness factor inherent in fics that include awesome animals as well as precious little angels LOL!

And, since I never can get enough Daddyward, you’re gettin’ one complete and one WIP to devour at your leisure!

A Soft Place to Land by btwnthestacks (complete at 16 chapters)!

Rob Attack

{banner by: Forthelongestday}


Single father Edward Cullen and his daughter are looking for a soft place to land. In an attempt to help her, he turns to a program at the local library. While two furry friends help his child find her confidence, their owner will mend his broken heart.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Hurt/Comfort – Edward, Bella – Chapters: 16 – Words: 42,828 – Reviews: 1,779 – Favs: 1,891 – Follows: 1,712 – Updated: Jun 21, 2012 – Published: Jan 26, 2012 – Status: Complete – id: 7775714

Along with William Wallace and Gandalf the Grey, two Scottish Deerhounds she rescued and trained as therapy dogs, Dr. Bella Swan takes over a veterinary practice in her home town of  Forks !

Two months after unpacking my belongings into the small cottage I rented on the outskirts of town, I approached the chief of staff at the local hospital to inquire about volunteer opportunities for my therapy dogs.

Unfortunately, he informed me that the hospital had recently instituted a ‘no animals’ policy due to allergies and other reasons.

Dr. Cullen pulled his prescription pad and wrote down the phone number for his daughter Alice. I knew Alice. She was a senior at Forks High when I was a freshman.

Apparently she had recently taken over as director of the local library and was working on programming for the upcoming year.

I contacted Alice that afternoon and she excitedly agreed to meet me for coffee the following day. Over steaming cups of the local brew, she filled me in on her plan to start the ‘Read to a Dog’ program, wherein children would read aloud to licensed therapy dogs for one or two hours a week.

“You see,” Alice began, “dogs won’t laugh at you if you make a mistake and they won’t interrupt you to pick on you when you miss a word. The program has been wildly successful at larger libraries. The board agreed to the idea, but as you can imagine, I haven’t been able to find any licensed therapy dogs. I just about flipped my chair over when you called!”

Gandalf and Wallace loved children. And I loved the possibility of volunteering with them again. Without hesitation, I said yes, and Alice followed me to my place to meet the boys. Within minutes of being in their company, we were hired.

{I was pleased to learn “Read to a Dog” is a REAL program!}

As fate would have it, Edward’s daughter has a readin’ problem and Bella’s dogs {and Bella herself, of course} prove to be a Godsend!

I FLUVED this fic! What drama we encounter is quickly resolved so there’s not a lot of draggin’ things out for the sake of makin’ it a longer fic LOL!  In the end, Edward’s problem with his ex is taken care of in a hugely satisfyin’ but totally unexpected manner and that’s all I’m sayin’ about that *gigglesnort!*

You will love A Soft Place to Land as much as I did, of that I have no doubt!

Rob Attack


Birthday Wishes by Edward’s Eternal {WIP 7 chapters in}

Rob Attack

{Banner by: Beffers87}


Birthdays are special—especially when you’re five. What special wishes does Teddy Cullen hope come true this year? And why do his wishes involve a certain dark-haired lady from the park?

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 7 – Words: 20,946 – Reviews: 1,654 – Favs: 1,061 – Follows: 1,595 – Updated: 9h ago – Published: Aug 2 – id: 10586787

It was the little boy in the banner that caught my attention for this wonderful WIP!

Rob Attack

Seriously, I have no idea whose kid this is in RL but he’s such a little cutie *squeeze!*

Bella’s not on such solid footin’ in this fic but a little boy’s birthday wish changes everything…for the better!

“Teddy, don’t bother the nice lady too much. Here’s your cone.”

We both looked up at Teddy’s father, standing there and holding out the double scoop cone to Teddy who took it with a grin. Then he reached for the vanilla one his dad was holding in his other hand and turned to me, thrusting it forward.

“This is for you.”

I frowned and looked at his father, who shrugged and smiled. “It’s his birthday. One of his wishes was to buy the reading lady a cone.” His voice was serious. “I can’t say no to a birthday wish.”

There’s an instant attraction between them, which Edward wastes no time in exploitin’…

“Um, you have a little…”


“Ice cream. On your face.” I pointed to his cheek.

Without thinking, I lifted my hand. He leaned in toward me, and I gently wiped the ice cream away, holding out my finger to show him. “Got it.”
His hand covered mine, and before I could react, his lips opened and he pulled my finger into his mouth, the tongue swirling on my skin, gathering up the sweet, melted goo. His eyes remained locked on mine as he pulled back.

“Thanks,” he said with a smile, his voice slightly husky. “Too good to waste.”

My entire body was humming, wanting to be closer. The desire to feel those soft lips and tongue on other parts of my body was intense.

Now, if only she can swallow her pride and accept what Edward and his son have to offer!

Put this one on alert if you’re not ready to follow it as a WIP! It will be well worth the wait!

Happy Friday, y’all!


Night Raider


Filed under Fan Fiction Recs, Rita01tx

Random Rita ~ Friday Feature Fic!

Wet Rob Avi

Good mornin’, ladies!

Kids back in school? Everybody back at work?

Guess that means summer vacation is over, which means no more distractions, so let’s get back to the important business of fanfiction LOL!

Our Friday Feature Fic is a short (16 chapters COMPLETE) and imminently sweet (but only where it needs to be) story by Aussie writer, Maxigrumpling!

Rob Attack

{this MelbieToast edit was perfect for the banner!}


He’s bored, lonely and longing. She’s already made the decision to change her life. He sees her dancing alone, she’s unaware. Their first introduction is a disaster. This is the story of how his public image might just lose him a chance to have it all and how he overcomes his personal demons to make her see the real Edward Cullen. Edw/Bella HEA. Jake lovers need not apply ;)

Rated: Fiction M – English – Drama/Romance – Chapters: 16 – Words: 158,077 – Reviews: 216 – Favs: 56 – Follows: 70 – Updated: Aug 19 – Published: Aug 16 – Status: Complete – id: 10622439

What first grabbed my attention was the richness of the narrative, detailed descriptions of the main characters and their environment(s), all of which painted a fabulous picture of two people broadsided by love when they weren’t even lookin’ for it!

The first time Edward sees Bella, only he doesn’t know it’s her…

And so there I stood. On the balcony enjoying my one, solitary act of pleasure in an otherwise bland existence, when I spied an extraordinary sight.

There was a girl.

If she was tall or short, plump or slim I couldn’t tell from the distance I spied her, but it was definitely a girl.

Her long dark hair told me so. It swayed as she swayed.

She was alone and swaying.

I tilted my head to hear better whatever music was playing for those that wished to dance and then looked back at the girl. She swayed exactly to the beat of the music. I doubted she could hear it as clearly as I could, but she kept perfect time all the same.

She looked so carefree, so …I don’t know what, but I was guessing she didn’t feel like I did at that point.

I felt lost. Inadequate. As though there was some fundamental part of my make up that was missing or faulty because I couldn’t seem to achieve what others were achieving.

But this girl. She looked content. Content enough and confident enough within herself to be outside, after dark, dancing alone.

The first time Bella sees Edward, only she doesn’t know it’s him…

I’d deliberately changed out of my uniform into plain clothing, no company logos or even anything in the same colours as either Swan Catering and Events or Cullen Enterprises. Just plain jeans, a white shirt and ballet flats. To anyone who didn’t know me I was just another employee wandering around having a good time and I liked the anonymity of that.

And that was a good thing because I was quite enjoying watching a copper haired man having a go at the shooting gallery. He appeared to be on his own and he was doing his best to hide his frustration at missing every shot.

The muscles in his back and shoulders were held taut in his thin blue shirt and I found myself missing seeing whether he’d hit something or not because I was distracted by the sight of him aiming.

He let off another shot and I heard him curse, though he did stop himself from muttering the entire word I still heard it and couldn’t help the bark of laughter that came out of my mouth.

He turned, fast, and I was met with two very pissed off, very green eyes staring at me.

“If you can do better you’re welcome to try, little girl,” he sneered.

There will be plot twists and turns…there will be drama and angst (but not too much), and there will be deliciously hot lemons galore when the sex genie finally gets let out of the bottle LMAO!

Oh, and one more thing…Maxi says at the beginnin’ of the first chapter:

“There is a song, by a band called Milky Chance, and the song’s title is Stolen Dance.

The part where the lovers dance is interrupted and he’s imploring her to ‘fetch back the time taken from us’. That struck a chord with me and this story is the result of my brain’s reasoning.”

Turns out I’d heard the song on my radio quite often as well but never paid any mind to the title or singer/band LOL!

Very catchy…I like it!

Happy Friday, y’all!


Night Raider


Filed under Fan Fiction Recs, Rita01tx

Random Rita ~ When In Rome!

Wet Rob Avi

Good evenin’, ladies!

I’m very late today…thank God it’s Friday somewhere in the world *facepalm!*

My only excuse for missin’ last week was the summer heat got into my bones and, at my age, it made me so lazy, I could hardly bring myself to move LOL!

I’m back now, though and, as promised, I’m bringin’ RomeWard with me!!!

Nancym5621 rec’d this first fic a couple weeks ago and got me all inspired for the idea of a RomeWard post…thank you, Nancy darlin’ MWAH!!!

Rob Attack


Born as a Roman slave, Eduardus serves a depraved mistress and learns that he is nothing. Stolen into a world of violence, Eduardus slakes his thirst without remorse, and learns that he is a monster. Fleeing to a world of asceticism, Edward finds relief in oblivion and learns that life is pain. But in rescuing his Singer, Edward learns that he must live.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Hurt/Comfort/Romance – Edward, Bella – Chapters: 19 – Words: 42,617 – Reviews: 490 – Favs: 140 – Follows: 273 – Updated: Jul 24 – Published: Jun 3 – id: 10404430

It’s a WIP and I’ve read all 19 chapters. Although his horrific time as a slave in Rome is only briefly touched on so far, I’m includin’ it because of the summary and Edward’s Romanized name…Eduardus!

One of the things I’m enjoyin’ about Angelus Ardens is the historical setting, mostly centering around Forks in the late 1800’s. There’s no mind readin’, no sparklin’, and Edward has a way with animals…well, the ones he doesn’t eat LOL! Like his horse(s) and Bella’s dog!

Needless to say, I’m enjoyin’ the hell out of it and can’t wait for the next update!

Rob Attack


Isabella’s heart was stolen by an injured soldier when she was sixteen. Now, she is brought to the empire’s capitol for the marriage market to be sold to the highest bidder, but Isabella has other plans for fate. AU, AH. E/B. Loosely based on Ancient Rome, but mostly made-up fluff with citrus. Complete in 8 chaplets.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 10 – Words: 17,229 – Reviews: 618 – Favs: 684 – Follows: 453 – Updated: Mar 27 – Published: Mar 5 – Status: Complete – id: 10162604

Complete at 10 chapters, Musegirl’s fic is packed with romance, angsty goodness, steamy sex and a great HEA that resolved all the angst to my satisfaction LOL!

Well worth a read!

Rob Attack


COMPLETE “The life of the Roman patrician Antonius is put at stake by his father, Felix. When Felix brings to his only son a new slave, Bella, more reasons arise for Antonius’ concerns. Felix’s secret can change Antonius’ and Bella’s destiny.” ExB AU/vampires

Rated: Fiction M – English – Drama/Romance – Edward, Bella – Chapters: 24 – Words: 73,221 – Reviews: 1,547 – Favs: 665 – Follows: 519 – Updated: Dec 21, 2011 – Published: Jun 25, 2011 – Status: Complete – id: 7116125

Unfortunately, I have NOT read De Immortalitate…simply didn’t have time before today *poutyface!*

If any of you HAVE read it, please give us your thoughts!

Rob Attack


{banner by Ro Nordmann}

When I left the arenas and came into her service, I did not realize what she would do with me…and to me. I was only supposed to be there to protect her, but she demanded more. She demanded my body.  Rated: Fiction M – English – Adventure/Romance – Edward, Bella – Words: 18,407 – Reviews: 416 – Favs: 876 – Follows: 308 – Published: Feb 9, 2012 – Status: Complete – id: 7818405
A one shot that Shay couldn’t bring herself to cut down far enough to enter one of the Age of Edward contests! Bless her for postin’ it anyway ’cause it fuckhawt! Well, it’s Shay, ain’t it? And that means delicious encounters of the sexual kind LMAO!

Rob Attack


Pompeii, 79 AD: In the midst of disaster can Bellona, a Roman noblewoman, save her gladiator? Or will the two lovers be forced to spend eternity apart?
Age of Edward 2012 1st place winner in Literotica category.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Tragedy – Edward, Bella – Words: 11,316 – Reviews: 263 – Favs: 507 – Follows: 137 – Updated: Feb 17, 2012 – Published: Feb 9, 2012 – Status: Complete – id: 7819524

Sheviking’s entry was one of the winners, as you can see above. As you can also see from the settin’ of Pompeii, it did NOT have the kind of HEA we love to see. Nevertheless, you really don’t want to let that put you off readin’ it!

Well, these are the ones I gleaned from my TBR! Let me know what you think and, if any of you have found other RomeWard fics, cough ‘em up!

By the way, the lovely Jolori sent us a couple new RA banners, which RF has already added to the rotation! Thanks, Jolori, darlin’! {{HUGS!}}

Happy Friday, y’all!


Night Raider


Filed under Fan Fiction Recs, Rita01tx

Random Rita ~ When Bella Gets Lost in the Shuffle!

Wet Rob Avi

Evenin’ ladies!

I’m a little late today, I know!

It’s been such a scorcher where I’m at, my get up ‘n go done got up and went!

Now that it’s cooled off some, lemme show you what I found for you today!

Rob Attack


Three families blend together to make one, but Bella feels like an ingredient that’s been left out, and she wonders if she’ll ever feel loved or happy again. Will she ever be accepted by her stepsiblings? To her family, will she ever be treated as something more than an outsider? All BPOV, AH

Rated: Fiction T – English – Family/Romance – Chapters: 20 – Words: 60,462 – Reviews: 556 – Favs: 139 – Follows: 194 – Updated: 13h ago – Published: Jul 8 – id: 10519591

“Oh, honey! Your kids and my kids are fighting with our kids!” 

Not a quote from the story but you get the idea where this fic is goin’ LOL!

Don’t ask me how Savannavansmutsmut managed to make the pairin’s  in this fic so believable, but she did! Let me TRY to explain *gigglesnort!*

Family Unit #1: Renee Swan, Bella’s mother, marries Edward Anthony Masen Sr. (Tony), father to Emmett, Alice and Edward. Together, they have three-year-old Esryl and Renee is currently pregnant with a bouncin’ baby boy.

Family Unit #2: Charlie Swan marries Sue Hale, mother to Jasper and Rosalie

Family Unit #3: Esme Masen (Tony’s sister) married Carlisle Cullen…no kids but Esme is especially supportive of Bella in carin’ for Esryl while Renee concentrates on her career. That precious baby is more Bella’s than her own mother’s LOL!

All three sets of adults are great friends and everyone lives on the same street in Seattle!

The kids, on the other hand, have all been less than friendly to Bella. Now, in their final year of High School, things are finally changin’…for the better! With the help of her best friends, the SHAGNICS {Stanford High Apes, Geeks, Nerds and Intellects Club}, Bella blossoms into a lovely, formidable young lady!

Yes, this is a WIP but Savannavansmutsmut, author of 34 stories, many of which are complete multi-chapter fics, won’t let you down! You will enjoy the hell outta Something More, I guarandamntee you!

Happy Friday, y’all!


Night Raider




Filed under Fan Fiction Recs, Rita01tx

Random Rita ~ When Edward Hatches a Nefarious Plan!

Wet Rob Avi

Good afternoon, ladies!

If there’s anything in a fic that’s guaranteed to grab my attention, it’s a BAD BOY!

You know the kind I mean…all the girls WANT him, all the boys want to BE him, and he knows it LMAO!

Rob Attack


Bella has hated Edward for years, but thanks to a recent head injury, she doesn’t seem to remember who he is let alone her feelings of intense hatred. Meanwhile, Edward decides to have some fun with his favorite adversary when the opportunity arises. What’s a girl who can’t remember supposed to do when her sworn enemy claims they’ve secretly been friends with benefits for months?

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Drama – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 6 – Words: 13,059 – Reviews: 437 – Favs: 406 – Follows: 911 – Updated: Jul 10 – Published: Jun 8 – id: 10428183

The summary pretty much gives the whole plot away but that’s OK…the devil is in the details LOL!

“You really don’t know who I am?” It sounded like he was talking more to himself than to me so I didn’t answer. He was staring off intently, lips parted.

“You’re not my boyfriend are you?”Nice, Swan! The words tumbled out before I could stop them. My eyes widened as his gaze fell upon me again, but I couldn’t seem to stop. “Rosalie never said anything about a boyfriend… and I’m sure she would have…” This time I was the one laughed uneasily. “I mean something like that is a pretty big detail to leave out…but you called me Bellarina and that sounds like a term of endearment sooo…unless of course we broke up. Are we exes? No that can’t be it… you’d probably avoid me if that were true…”

“Well at least now I know you’re not faking. You always were a shit actress.” I couldn’t be offended. I was. He must know me fairly well. “You’re uh… right though,” he finally said. “We’re not dating, but we’re also not exes.”

“Oh. Okay… friends then?” I tried.

He opened his mouth only to close it a few times in hesitation. He visibly relaxed as a slow grin crept its way onto his face. His perfect smile almost swept away my train of thought completely, but I somehow managed to remain focused on the current goal: Figuring out who this gorgeous guy was.

When he looked at me again, his eyes held something I couldn’t quite understand. He took a single step forward and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear, instantly invading all of my senses with that single touch and his close proximity. And trust me when I tell you, he was close. Whatever body-wash he used was threatening my focus almost as much as his smile had.

He leaned into my ear and spoke quietly.

“We’re a little more than friends.”

Uh oh! I can see the wheels turnin’ in Edward’s gorgeous head…that boy is definitely up to no good!

Give it a shot and leave her some love…it’s CH’s first and only fic, so far.


And just because youz all my homies, I went’n found another Bad Boy Edward to round out today’s post and it’s COMPLETE!

Rob Attack


Bella Swan would like to think she truly hates Edward Cullen. Of course, that’s what makes sex with him so damn fun. E/B, All Human, AU. Rated a hard M for Lemons. Complete.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 16 – Words: 53,981 – Reviews: 1,497 – Favs: 2,087 – Follows: 897 – Updated: Jan 26, 2010 – Published: Oct 16, 2009 – Status: Complete – id: 5445513

These are the fateful words that got me hooked:

I hate Edward Cullen. I absolutely loathe and despise him.

I hate the way he talks. He’s pretentious. He talks down to people, and makes them feel like they’re somehow unworthy of being in his presence.

I hate the way he walks. He has a swagger that makes the girls swoon, but not me.

To me he just looks like he’s seen a few too many bad music videos, and is attempting to walk like a pimped up celebrity… and failing.

I hate the way he smells. His scent lingers, and all it does is remind you that he was just there, invading your space with his massive ego. He smells like sex and bar soap, a combination that he knows makes it look like he doesn’t try too hard. He’s just ‘got it’. Please.

I hate his completely untouchable confidence, and the fact that even though he knows I loathe him with such intensity, he’s completely unfazed. It doesn’t make one ounce of difference to him what people think of him. I really hate that.

So if you were to ask me- seeing as I hate Edward Cullen with such vigour-why I spent earlier tonight scaling the tree outside his bedroom with every intention of fucking him until he was begging for release, well… I suppose I’d just have to tell you the truth.

I fucking hate Edward Cullen, and that’s what makes fucking him so damn good.

What makes it even better, is that he really hates me too.

You can all thank me after you’ve read it ROTFLMAO!

Happy Friday, y’all!


Night Raider


Filed under Fan Fiction Recs, Rita01tx

Random Rita ~ When Edward is Disadvantaged!

Wet Rob Avi

Good afternoon, ladies!

Wherever possible, I like to bring new stories to your attention that have great potential, with storylines that leave you gaspin’ and wantin’ MORE!

So, when a story by one of our favorite authors is THIS good, it’s my great pleasure to sing its praises to the heavens LOL!

No doubt many of you are already followin’ this story but, for those new to Counselor’s fics, this one is a MUST READ!

Rob Attack


Starts out in summer of 1963. Sweet little ten-year-old Catholic school girl, Bella Christine, meets eleven-year-old smoker with armpit hair who really does live on the wrong side of the tracks, Easy. She and Alice May are mystery solvers in their spare time and Easy (E. C.) and his brother Jap (Jasper) will keep these two little ladies on their sleuthing toes. Warning: Might get hairy.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 38 – Words: 61,633 – Reviews: 2,802 – Favs: 432 – Follows: 563 – Updated: 1h ago – Published: Jun 2 – id: 10398693

A quick shout out to Jarkin for the beautiful banner…this is just how I see Easy in my mind!

If there’s anything I love more’n vamp fics, it’s comin’ of age fics! Stories where Edward and Bella meet as young children are so endearin’! When Bella befriends Easy, wantin’ to keep him around so she can feed him as often as possible…and boy, does he need it, poor kid, her grandma tells her she can’t adopt him like a stray puppy!

The fun here is watchin’ Bella manipulate her grandma into doin’ just that, along with Alice’s Aunt May, their nextdoor neighbor, and some other ladies on Darnay Road who could benefit from havin’ a strong boy around to do chores, since most all of them are without handy husbands.

I’m havin’ the best time wonderin’ where Counselor is gonna take this story…school’s about to start, bringin’ an end to the long, hot, lazy days of summer and havin’ Easy underfoot all the time!

With 13 completed fics and this WIP that updates often, you don’t have to worry about Counselor leavin’ you high and dry, so dive on in…the water is fine LOL!


Okay, I got one more I just can’t resist…well, there sure wasn’t any resistin’ it last night LOL!

Rob Attack


The blue hour is the period of twilight each morning and evening when indirect sunlight takes on a predominantly blue hue. That afternoon, in the forest, Bella sees through Edward’s act and so he stays. He was never likely to get very far anyway, the shy human girl owned him body and soul. That was a few years ago now and that shy human girl has just graduated college . . . .

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Family – Bella – Chapters: 2 – Words: 4,291 – Reviews: 64 – Favs: 53 – Follows: 96 – Updated: 20h ago – Published: Jul 1 – id: 10500426

I hadn’t planned on readin’ this until it was complete but The Blue Hour grabbed me and wouldn’t let go and that was within the first 2 chapters. It’s not that anything untoward has or is happenin’, it’s the heart clenchin’ anticipation that somethin’ is about to change and it might not be for the better!

Mortissues has 9 other complete stories to keep you occupied if you’d rather wait!

What are you ladies readin’ this week?

Rob Attack

 Happy Friday, Fourth of July, y’all!


Night Raider


Filed under Fan Fiction Recs, Rita01tx