NSFW!!!
Conversation I had with my friend, Karin, earlier this week at work…
“Hey, Karin!” I said, sidlin’ up to bump her with my shoulder, a shit-eatin’ grin spread across my face.
“Oh, hell!” she groaned. “It’s finally out, isn’t it?”
She hated Bel Ami, so gettin’ her to agree to go with me to see Cosmopolis when it came out had taken some almighty beggin’ on my part LOL! But, bless her, she knows how much I love Rob!
“Yup!” I allowed. “It’s playin’ at one of them ’indie’ theatres in Haarlem. Only problem is it starts at 9:30 pm…no early screenin’s.”
“Well, no way are we going on a weeknight then,” she huffed.
“Nope…let’s go Saturday night, OK?” I urged. “Oh, and, by the way?”
“What?”she wondered.
“That indie theatre is the one right across the alley from your favorite Irish pub!” I chortled.
She didn’t need any more convincin’ after that! I didn’t even have to show her that fuckawesome teaser trailer!
So, last night we met up at the Irish early enough to have a drink before amblin’ across the alley to the Filmschuur. Just seein’ this poster in the window had me internally squeein’ my ass off!!
I was pleasantly surprised to see so many people already seated…most of them middle aged men and their wives, with nary a teenie in sight. Probably pretentious Cronenbergians, I figgered, although their womenfolk probably harbored a secret Robsession *gigglesnort!*
From the opening scene, with the line “We want a haircut.” I was riveted to my seat! Rob was perfectly, inhumanly cool as Eric Packer!
Most of the action takes place in that damnably sleek, futuristic limo, where Eric is king of his world. Information flowing at his fingertips…people coming and going at his beck and call!
We don’t see his eyes until he steps out of his limo into the cab with his wife. Except for the fact that they were both obscenely wealthy people (maybe she was a merger & acquisition to him, or vice versa), I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why they married. She’s an ice queen who’s constantly railing at him (rightly so, of course) for smelling of sex, but showing no signs at all of wanting it herself (her loss LOL!). His myriad excuses for “smelling like sex” are hilarious!!
Since his frigid wife is not giving it up, Eric takes sexual excitement where he can get it, even during a prostate exam. He randomly mentions his asymetrical prostate throughout the rest of the film, at the most inappropriate moments LOL!
This scene was very brief and I would have loved to see more of Rob, uh… ifyouknowwhatImeanandIthinkyoudo…when she got up off him! Other than that, we see Eric’s unbelievably huge ego and disregard for his own wealth as he instructs her to buy something he covets…at any cost…even though the owner(s) have no wish to sell it!
The sex scene with one of his bodyguards was fuckHAWT! He BEGGED her to use the taser on him, all 100,000 volts, but it doesn’t show whether she complied…I like to think she did LOL!
The scene where Eric grieves for the death of his favorite rapper is the first sign we see of any real emotion on his part. Karin said it was like he was losing his mojo! Yeah, that about sums it up!
As the trip progresses, both the limo and Eric lose their spit and polish. By the time he arrives at the old barber, who remembers him from when his father brought him in as a child, he’s been pied in the face {I loved Pie Dude’s rant about his previous conquests and how he passed up the chance to pie the President to get to Eric, who he saw as the bigger target…something of a compliment LOL} and shot Torval, his main bodyguard…probably for letting Pie Dude get to him!
I can’t rememer why he left the barber shop with half a haircut, but he took the barber’s gun with him and winds up with only his driver for company, heading for the limo garage.
{Gotta share this fabulous Melbie edit!}
Which is where he gets shot at by a disgruntled ex-worker bee at his company and storms into the derelict building to confront him head on!
Rob’s alley strut just cracked me the fuck up! {couldn’t find a good gif…sorry!}
I just love this shot of him waiting to burst through the door…looks like a painting!
Benno tells him he must be crazy to walk into a place where he knows someone is waiting to kill him!
Eric calls his bluff and thus begins the most powerful scene in the whole film! Benno {not his real name} burned out when the information flow became too fast and too much to keep up with. They get into a philosophical discussion about life, money and asymetrical prostates LOL!
I don’t remember exactly why Eric shot his hand…mighta been he didn’t expect the gun to go off cause he was just playing with it at that point…but the sheer shock and agony Rob gave to that scene was fuckin’ awesome!
Not gonna tell you how it ends. All I will tell you is that, when it ended, I said “WHAT?”
So, in conclusion…
Yes, you could follow the dialogue! Yes, you could understand it! But the whole film was like that! Wordy as hell…lyrical in places…richly complex and hypnotizing!!!
Karin and I both agreed we needed to see it again! But we’ll wait until it comes out on DVD so we can watch without distractions!
Hell’n I might have to buy the damn book!!
Happy Sunday, ya’ll!
Rita
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Midnight Cougar
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