Tag Archives: Melbie Toast

Random Rita ~ When Edward’s Peen Takes a Stand!

Wet Rob Avi

Mornin’, ladies!

You know, there’s nothin’ sadder than Edward’s poor, abused peen waitin’ 100+ years for him to make a move already!

And it’s not only Edward’s peen doin’ all the sufferin’…his hands are hopelessly uninformed about female anatomy…

Rob Attack

Though we understand that it is ultimately the penis attached to Mr. Cullen that will enter and spend a great deal of time in the vagina of the woman that we are finally able to touch, we do hope to also have an opportunity to touch one. What  are the labia like? Do they hang? Are they firm? Stretchy? Can they be pinched as well?

Even Edward’s kinky feet have complaints they insist must be addressed LOL!

Rob Attack

Ve Vere zinking that ve vould very much enjoy having her little feet and toes all tied-up und under our control. Ve don’t just vant to vatch zem viggle, ve vant to vatch zem squirm.

Ve vant to control zeir pleasure und pain. Ve vant to punish zem vhen they don’t treat us vell. Ve vant to show zem how zis punishment can mean great pleasure for zem as vell as for us.

Who do you turn to for advice when nothin’ you try works?

Read Letters to the Federation of Unionized Cocks FUC by Jackie K Paper and find out!

Rob Attack

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7752918/1/Letters-to-the-Federation-of-Unionized-Cocks-FUC

Dear FUC, The cock-blocking asshole I’m attached to hasn’t let me get near a vagina in over 100 years! Isn’t there a limit that straight non-priests can go without letting their cock at some pussy? Sincerely The Virgin Cock attached to Ednonfuck Cullen.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Humor – Edward – Chapters: 5 – Words: 6,797 – Reviews: 30 – Favs: 15 – Follows: 11 – Updated: Apr 6, 2012 – Published: Jan 18, 2012 – Status: Complete – id: 7752918

~oOo~

Now, if that little jewel wasn’t *ahem* long enough *cough*, do NOT miss…

Fabulous blinkie by Rose Arcadia!

Rob Attack

the absolute classic in peen laments, which goes to…

Rob Attack

Banner by Preciousfairymom80

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6661209/1/The-Confessions-of-the-Overworked-Underpaid-Peen

You’ve heard of Edward’s pov, but what about Edward’s peen’s pov? Get inside the peen’s perspective and see what goes on inside the pants. If you’ve ever thought it was hard being a person, try living this life. AH, AU, M, E&B eventually.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Humor/Romance – Edward, Bella – Chapters: 21 – Words: 83,395 – Reviews: 683 – Favs: 552 – Follows: 520 – Updated: Mar 24, 2013 – Published: Jan 17, 2011 – Status: Complete – id: 6661209

Rob Attack

And don’t forget the sequel…

Ramblings of a Whipped Peen by Smmiskimen

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7594977/1/Ramblings-of-a-Whipped-Peen

This is a sort of follow up/sequel to Confessions of an Overworked, Underpaid Peen. This will be little one shots of snippets of his life, little happenings, and such. EPPov AH, OOC

Rated: Fiction M – English – Humor/Romance – Edward, Bella – Chapters: 11 – Words: 14,148 – Reviews: 217 – Favs: 128 – Follows: 140 – Updated: Oct 22, 2012 – Published: Nov 30, 2011 – Status: Complete – id: 7594977

Know of any other fics where Edward’s cock takes center stage?

Rob Attack

Happy Friday, y’all!

Rita

Night Raider

18 Comments

Filed under Fan Fiction Recs, Peen, Rita01tx

The Robgospel According to RF

*blows kisses*

RobsFan~tasy

   ~RF walks out onto the stage dressed in her Sunday best. She steps up to the podium and takes down the microphone. Returning to center stage, she begins to speak to the Robitorium in her best Southern Baptist, Gone ta Meetin’, Sunday Revival accent~

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Ladies, nay, Sistahs! Sistahs, just why I have bought you here today is to tell you all somethin’ you may already know. But, I feel the need…I say, I feel the neeeed to share the Robgospel with ya’ll here today! Now you may already know that the word “gospel” means “the truth.” So, what we are talkin’ about ri’ chere is the Rob-truth, or the truth about Rob!

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Can I get an A…man?

Dom Stance

Sistahs, as you know, this man has large hands and long fingers. Have Mercy! And with those hands he has reached across the lands, across nations, even unto the ends of the earth, to the young and the old, the rich and the poor, the angel and the h00r! He has touched us all!

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My dear friends, who among you can say you have not looked into those multicolored eyes and not been affected by his stare? Has he not looked into that camera and made you feel his kiss?!

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And, without the distraction of the rest of Rob’s gorgeous face *coughJawPorn* *coughLipPorn,* we are helplessly trapped…and lovin’ it! AMEN!!!

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preach

He has not looked upon you with that come hither stare and made you feel desiiiiired!

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Yea, there is no escape from his wickedly sexy gaze…nor do we wish to! Can I get an AMEN!!!

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Sistahs, I have come here today to preach to you about the power of this man and to confess to you that I know what you’re goin’ through! I have witnessed the power of his wonky legs!

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I have seen those snow white fangs of his and wished that he truly was a vampire and that I, yes I, was his all too willing next victim! Are ya feelin’ me, now?

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I too have looked upon those luscious lips and felt the call of seduction, Sistahs! I know! Indeed I know!

Melbie Toast Tumblr

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Believe me when I say you are not alone! I have been there when the cameras have captured that sharp jawline and I have felt my knees go weak like my weight was supported on rubber bands!

Melbie Toast Tumblr

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And, my Sistahs, have mercy, the man was blessed…I say he was blessed with the voice of an angel! An angel who was sent here to bring us great joy!

glozel-preach

The man can make your soul dance!

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He can make your heart sing!

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He can make your legs weak!

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He can bring your libido back from the dead!

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Now, I know that not all of you are here in the Robitorium with me. I know that some of you are on the bus or in a carpool on your way to work takin’ the opportunity durin’ your ride to come get yours. I know some of you are already at work sittin’ in your office or in your cubicle sneakin’ the chance to peek at The Pretty when ya should be workin’. Some of you are at home sittin’ on your home computers stoppin’ in here to get your Rob fix for the day before you set about your chores, and some of you are in your beds with the lights out and your laptop or e-reader open and grabbin’ a gape at Mr. Sex on Legs before bed!

Melbie Toast Tumblr

My Sistahs, I also know you have one more thing in common…you’re all sittin’ there, wherever you may be, with your hand over your mouth tryin’ NOT to squee! Hear me now, Sistahs! Take that hand down! Are ya hearin’ me, Sistahs? Take that hand doooown and let it out! For this is the Robgospel and…

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The Truth Shall Set You Free!

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Much love to you all,

RobsFan~tasy

ra1

24 Comments

Filed under it's true, Just For Shizz and Giggles, Rob Pattinson

Let’s Do It!

*blows kisses*

RobsFan~tasy

Well, Ladies!

Sorry I’ve been gone for awhile.

I’ve been in a writing funk and can’t seem to dig my way out!

That, plus Rob going into Super Ninja hiding mode, has made this drought a sand storm for me!

Then, I got to thinking…what’s the best cure for a drought?

I tried going for a brisk walk… Robert-Pattinson-560x794

It didn’t help! I tried doing some stretching exercises…

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Nope! That didn’t work either, so I gave my self a stern talking to…

Robert Pattinson Continues Filming "Water For Elephants"

And realized the best cure for a Rob Drought is sharing RobPorn! DUH! And RobPorn from “Water for Elephants” is the best!

So let’s do it! Let’s fall in love with Rob all over again!

Now that Melbie’s vid has your undivided attention LOL, feast your eyes on one of the best (though there are tons) pictures to come out of WFE! Robert_Pattinson_Water_For_Elephants_1 Sexy Beast in Blue! 1001Sexy Beast in Blue with flat cap LOL!NewRobertPattinsonWaterForElephantsStill6 Lordy, just look at the shoulders on our man!wfen Watching Rob play heartbroken Jacob Jankowski coming back to life was a thing of beauty!MV5BMjI3ODM4MDk2Ml5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwNTg5NjQ4NA@@._V1._SX640_SY478_ Going from wide-eyed innocence…robert-pattinson-and-water-for-elephants-gallery to awareness of the darkness beneath all the glitzy glamour…NewRobertPattinsonWaterForElephantsStill2 was what made WFE the awesome film that it was!Pattinson-Water-For-Elephants-5 Of course, watching Rob get down and dirty was fun, too!Robert Pattinson Continues Filming "Water For Elephants" There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do to make it all look real!ROBERT-PATTINSON-ON-THE-SET-OF-WATER-FOR-ELEPHANTS-ON-JUNE-3-2010-twilight-series-12728033-452-622 I’ll bet he was in far better shape at the end of the film than he was at the beginning LOL!robert_pattinson_train_water_for_elephants1a He made it look easy but we know it had to have been a lot of hard work! gallery_main-robert-pattinson-water-for-elephants-set-06032010-19 From what we’ve heard in various interviews with his co-stars…     Fotos-de-Robert-Pattinson-en-Water-for-Elephants Rob was greatly admired for his dedication…7224612161045367872238 humor and camraderie! 38781_141338729223783_100000429700240_298254_4978735_nSeriously,if Coca~Cola doesn’t hire this man as a spokesperson, they’re insane! I’ll bet a lot of hot, thirsty hOOrs would buy it just because Rob’s luscious lips have been on that can!!
WATER FOR ELEPHANTS Some people said there was lack of chemistry between Rob and Reese but I beg to differ!robert-pattinson-reese-witherspoon-water-for-elephants-red-dress-blonde-curls-suit-10 At least Rob paid a lot of attention to her boobs, both on set and during the promo tour!

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Well, just like in the film, we arrive at The End of this post!

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Thanks for revisiting one of my favorite Rob films with me!

13 Comments

Filed under Rob Drought, Rob Pattinson, Stunning, Thrill Me Thursday, WFE

Something to Celebrate ~ Melbie Toast!

*blows kisses*

RobsFan~tasy

Good morning, ladies!

And what a wonderful morning it is because we are celebrating our beloved cougar momma MelbieToast’s BIRTHDAY!!!

happy birthday

Let’s face it, this fandom just wouldn’t be the same without our Melbie! She may not know it, or realize it, but she is nearly as famous among “Rob’s Girls” as  Rob is himself {almost}!

I know some of the things that suckered me into this fandom in a BIG WAY and showed me Rob’s incredible beauty were Melbie Toast’s videos and beautiful edits!

I met Melbie back in the days of RAoR and, bless her, she followed us here to RA during the big migration. She’s been one of our biggest supporters, pimping our posts to her many followers via tumblr and FB, and unselfishly shares her work with us for the pleasure of us all!”

No one expresses every Rob hOOr and Angel’s inner feelings and desires for Rob better than Melbie through her music choices like Mad About the Boy, I Only Want to Be With You, I Know Him By Heart, and He’s So Fine!

She brought our fantasies to life with Slow Hand, Feelin Love, and Nobody Does it Better.

Melbie told 50 Shades exactly what we all would like from him with Call My Name!

But, for me, all of her beatiful work pales in comparison to what IS {in my humble opinion} her Masterpiece, Oh My God!

I stumbled onto the “Oh My God” video, made by Melbie back in March of 2010, and I have never looked back. To this day, this song remains the most played on my iPod and ALWAYS, ALWAYS makes me think of Rob! That’s Melbie’s gift to all of us, not just her gorgeous edits, or her entertaini​ng, sexy, hawt videos, but the fact that she puts Rob into our lives every day and does it in such a way that we will always carry them both with us.

Thank You, Mel, for all that you do, for the way you do it, and just for being you!

* * * * *

Wet Rob Avi

RF pretty much says it all, when it comes to praisin’ the heavens for bringin’ Melbie into all our lives!

But, this I know about Melbie! Just mention the words Rome and Rob to her in the same sentence and she goes absolutely “doolally” LMAO!!!

It’s not hard to see why…

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And, when Melbie calls Rob “Sexy Beast,” this is what she means!

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However, the thing that makes Melbie completely lose all control of her girly bits is any kind of reference to Fifty Shades!

AA Fifty Shades

This is Melbie’s most recent Fifty’s quote edit…you can see the rest of them in MY very favorite Melbie vid, REMEMBERING FIFTY SHADES – Master of the Universe!

Happy birthday, Melbie darlin’! We love you more than words can say!

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52 Comments

Filed under Rob Pattinson

Sensual Sunday ~ The Birthday Hangover!

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Good afternoon, ladies!

Well, after a whole week of partying with our friends to celebrate Rob’s 26th birthday, I didn’t know if I’d even have the energy to  get out of bed this morning!

Hell’n I wonder if Rob survived his own birthday bash! Let’s go find out, shall we?

Knock, knock!! {cracks open Rob’s bedroom door} *Shhhhhh!*

Zzzzzzzz…..

*Whispers* Awwww, he’s still asleep! Just look at him…precious angel! But, not for long…

ROB! Wake up! You got company!!

Zzz…wha…? Rita? What the fuck?

Open them pretty eyes, baby!

Damnit, woman! It’s the ass crack of dawn…what’re you doing here?

You’re in my time zone, darlin’, and it’s way past NOON! I just came by to see how you was feelin’!

Like Hell, if you must know…can’t I just go back to sleep?

Anythin’ I can do to make you feel better, angel? Breakfast in bed, maybe?

*Groan!* God, Rita! Don’t even mention food to me right now!

Well, come on down to the kitchen, then, and I’ll make you some coffee…how’s that sound?

Strong and black, if you don’t mind, thanks!

Sure thing, baby! Comin’ right up!

Owww, my head is killing me!

You want a couple aspirin for your headache, darlin’?

You got some? Yeah, that’d be great…you’re a star, Rita!

No problem, hon! You startin’ to feel a little bit better?

Umm, yeah, thanks.  Rita? I appreciate all your help, but I really need to get my ass in gear!

*Gigglesnort!* You goin’ out lookin’ like that?  What WILL the neighbors think? BWAHAHAHA!

Huh? Aw, hell, Rita!

Have a good day, Rob! Laters BB! MWAH!!!

*Pssst!* Ladies! Don’t tell Rita, but her coffee sucks ass! Had to find a Starbucks FAST!!

Happy Sunday, ya’ll!

Rita

10 Comments

Filed under Because he gives us a Reason to smile., Bel Ami, Remember Me, Rob Pattinson, Sensual Sunday

Sensual Sunday ~ It’s Barcelona, Baby!!! – Part 1

Well, ladies! A promise is a promise!!

You know how we all swear that Rob is so f*ckin’ beautiful, he takes your breath away? Preachin’ to the choir here, darlin’s!  I had to remind myself to breathe a number of times as I gathered the bounteous beauty that was Rob in Barcelona!

Star date:  May 01, 2011

Event:  Water for Elephants Premier

Location:  Barcelona, Spain

Maybe it was the sultry Spanish air, but Rob seemed to have a really good time in Barcelona! Hell’n it coulda been the cervesa, right?

Let's get this party started!

I loved how comfortable he and Reese were with each other the whole WFE promo tour…wonder what he was saying to her?

Hey, Reese! What do you call cheese that isn't yours?

Oh no! Not bad jokes, Rob!

Nacho Cheese!

*Face palm!* Sorry, ladies…I got no say in this today *sigh!* Can we get to the “bounteous beauty,” already? Please??

Awww Rita, you're no fun today!

Well, there’s fun, and then there’s FUN…ifyouknowwhatImeanandIthinkyoudo!!

Alright, then...let's poof us some panties!

*Gulp!* Uh, good start, darlin’!

My Melbie sure knows how to "enhance" me, doesn't she?

*Squeeee!* Hell’n she does have good material to work with, baby! *Holy crap, Melbie!*

Rita, you might wanna see if there're any h00rs still standing!

Rob, darlin’! You’re girls are a lot tougher than you think…we can take as much as you’ve got!! {Don’t think we wouldn’t!}

OK, if you're sure. One more before they stick me in a damn suit again!

*Pickin’ my own self up off the floor!*  Well, if any of you can still walk, let’s follow Rob on over to the red carpet…

Remember what I told you about Rita? {Sure thing, boss...she won't get past me!}

Mr. Sex-on-legs, himself! Rob…suit…loooong legs…red carpet! *THUD!*

{Psst! Hey, Rita! Want me to make Rob giggle for ya?}

Yeah, but…no, but! You’re not gonna…

Hey, Rob! What do you call a bee that produces milk? A boobee!

Oh, hell no! She didn’t!  What’s with all the really bad jokes, today?

She's just pissed off cause she can't get to me LOL!

Hey, I heard that! {Damn straight, I am!} Now, can we move it outside where I can at least imagine myself having the opportunity to breathe the same air?

Seriously, I’m missing that man so bad! Can’t wait for Cannes and beyond!!!

Bring me to my ladies!!!

Just look at him glow! We don’t freak him out as much as we think we do!!

You want me to sign WHAT?

Oops! I stand corrected *gigglesnort!*

You spotted Rita? Where? {Right over there, boss...oh, false alarm..sorry!}

Hah! If I’d been there, I would’ve gone through Dean like a hot knife through butter to get to Rob!

If she is here, she'll never recognize me in these geek glasses LMAO!

Hey, where’d ya go? {Yeah, right *gigglesnort!*}

Lets’s leave Rob with his delusions of anonimity LMAO!  Here’s a gif of the glasses episode….

Obviously, there wasn’t enough room in this post to include the glorious goodies from the Breaking Dawn Part 1 premiere in November, so I hope you’ll all join me next week for Part 2!

Happy Sunday, ya’ll!

Rita

20 Comments

Filed under Breathless, My Brand of Heroin, Rob Pattinson, Sensual Sunday, Stunning, WFE

Monday MotU Madness…NSFW!

Hello Everybody *waves*

RobsFan~tasy

Good Morning Ladies. It’s Monday and you know I ain’t about to let you start a Monday off with the Blues. I think we should start it of with RED instead. Red Hot that is. As promised I’m bringing you a “Master of the Universe, Fifty Shades Video” tribute. So Brace youselves and IF you’re working wait till you get home!!! Cause if you don’t and your boss catches you watching this he/she is going to look at you like this…

So just to make sure I have your FULL attention…

Heh heh heh I knew that would work. Oh those hips just Bring all kinds of pervetry to my dirty mind.

This first Fifty Vid is about 98 % Exactly the way I pictured Fifty’s House looking. This thing screams sexy Fifty Shades….

This next lady is just amazing. She makes her own vids, she makes amazing Banners and gifs, Videos, writes FF, Writes sings and produces her own songs and I’m sure there is tons more. I am of course talking about the amazing Betti Gefecht…

This Next one was made by our very own Maggie!!! *waves* Hey BB!! I Love this song with this vid!!

**WARNING** Mild female nudety in this VID!!! If you are easily offended, under 21 or at work STOP NOW!!!

And once again I have to leave you with our very own pervy ol cougar mama’s FABULOUS Work! I swear Melbie! This song is so durhty!! LOL But so fitting for Fifty!!!

Well that’s all from me this week mah friends. Hope you enjoyed your Holiday weekend!

“Laters BBez”

RobsFan~tasy
 

22 Comments

Filed under Artistic Genius!, Because he gives us a Reason to smile., Because I CAN!, Breathless, Fifty Shades, Monday Madness, My Brand of Heroin, Shamwow anyone?, We All Go A Little Mad Sometimes, What Gets You Hot?

Sensual Sunday ~ Show Me Something I Don’t Know!!!

NSFW!!!

Holy shit, angelz!

No way you haven’t all seen it by now, but Rob doubters be DAMNED! That Cosmopolis teaser trailer was the best 34 seconds EVER and I can’t stop watching it!

Oh yeah, baby! It’s coming and it’s gonna be EPIC!!

You won’t be surprised to learn that tumblr went absolutely WILD with screencaps, gifs, banners and edits!  Even I couldn’t resist the urge to do a little editing of my own, although I have no idea how to tag it…oh well!

Ah, Geez! Rob's sweat soaked, lickable happy trail *THUD!*

That first sequence was very popular for gifmakers…

I think I’d like to see that in slow motion, wouldn’t you? {if the gifs aren’t moving, click ‘em!}

Hell’n I literally jumped a foot off my chair when he shot his hand! How the F*CK did they do that?? {gif}

Didn’t you think AudioMachine’s “10 Inch Nails” from their Deus Ex Machina album was the perfect music for that trailer? Especially for the nightclub scene, which was beautifully shot…{gif}

Kill me now…Rob going all predatory on us in the limo? *THUD!*{gif}

And MelbieToast made us a beautiful edit…

This might seem like overkill to you, but I just gotta include another gorgeous edit…a close-up!  I could swear it’s a SlaveForRob (Bru) edit, but it’s not tagged…

Wild limo sex anybody? Hell yeah!  {Why didn’t they hire ME to do that scene *sob!*}

That just BEGS to be gif’d…{gif}

Rob’s alley strut just cracks me the f*ck up!  InRobWeLust wants to know which of Rob’s movies we are most looking forward to…Bel Ami or Cosmopolis?  BOTH, BB!!!!! {gif}

Cronenberg is gonna shock us all with Cosmopolis!  Nothing is taboo and that’s as refreshing as pissing in an expensive limo LMAO!!!

Sparkybitchface entered the tumblr fray with this contribution…{gif}

LMAO!!!

So much action was packed into 34 seconds of RobHeaven that, had it not been for the screenshots, I never would have seen this…doesn’t it look just like a painting?  Simply stunning!

And, as if all that wasn’t enough, WE HAVE ASS CRACK!!!  Yes, it’s from an Italian trailer for Bel Ami so it doesn’t exactly fit this post, but I couldn’t NOT share this gorgeous edit by InRobWeLust!

And whoever made this gif should be given sainthood LMAO!!

Now, I know this has nothing to do with Rob, but were you even aware that Stephenie Meyer’s book, The Host, was being made into a movie?

Science fiction being one of my favorite genres, I enjoyed the hell out of that story! And, if this trailer is any indication, it might just be worth checking out when it hits the theaters next year!!

Happy Sunday, ya’ll!

Rita

37 Comments

Filed under Bel Ami, Cosmopolis, Freaking Out, Rob Pattinson, Sensual Sunday

Sensual Sunday ~ Rob…I Wanna Get in Your Pants!

Hi, ya’ll!

Last week’s Perfect in Plaid post got me ta thinkin’, and ya’ll know that thinkin’ just gets me into a world of trouble, since I’m always thinkin’ of Rob!

So, thinkin’ of Rob’s plaid shirts just naturally leads me to what he wears with ‘em.

Now it occurs to me that we’ve been sorely missin’ somethin’, lately…can’t quite put my finger on it, though.

Hmmm, now what on earth could it be????

Now, Rita! You couldn't possibly be missing the suits, now could ya?

No, Rob darlin’, you been real good to us in the suit department.  No complaints…at all! That’s not what’s got me ponderin’ so hard… {*Gasp!* Jules, honey! That’s one  damn fine gif you gave us!}

Well, I know you ladies don't like me in shorts, so that can't be it.

It’s not that we don’t love your bare legs, baby!  But, seriously???

You surely don't mean to diss what I wear on my down time, now do ya Rita?

*Gulp* No! No, I wouldn’t DREAM of makin’ fun of those shiteous red shorts, Rob honey!

Good (I think)! Cause, when I'm not on "display," the "boys" gotta breathe, ya know?

I couldn’t agree more, Rob!  Wouldn’t wanna jeopardize any future baby makin’ plans, darlin’! {Kill me now!  Daddybert!  How sweet will that be?}

So, you're not down with loose casual pants, huh?

*Whew! Fannin’ frantically!*  Well, not really, Rob…but, I might be down with gettin’ THOSE down *gigglesnort!* 

Aw hell, Rita! What else could you possibly be missing? I'm completely stumped!

*Squeeeeee!*  YES!!!  There they are!  Oh, we sooo miss your ripped button-fly jeans, Rob darlin’!

What??? I would've thought you ladies would be missing the "sexpenders!" LOL!

*THUD!* Yeah but…! No, but…!

Not even with your favorite sexboots? Rita! I'm surprised at you!

Aw hell, Rob! Now you’re just bein’ mean…makin’ me choose!!?!?!  It’s just that…

there ain't NUTHIN' sexier than a good pair of jeans!

So, puhleeeeeze!  More button-fly jeans!

I give up...just take me AND my button-fly jeans AND my sexboots to boot...get it? To boot? LMAO!

If only I really could “take” you, Rob darlin’!  If only…

No truer words have ever been spoken, Melbie darlin’!  Thanks for all the lovely edits! MWAH!!

Happy Sunday, ya’ll!

Rita

19 Comments

Filed under Rob Pattinson, Sensual Sunday

Sensual Sunday ~ Rob…Perfect in Plaid!

Ladies,

If there’s anything I love to see Rob wearin’, it’s plaid!  Don’t matter what color plaid…it all looks f*ckHAWT on our boy!

Well, as long as he NEVER wears plaid pants!  Those shiteous orange pants were bad enough, but PLAID?  Just…UGH!

Oh, Rita...you shouldn't have said that! Now I'll have to dig up a pair just to tease you!

Don’t do it, Rob!  I’m watching you {2 fingers pointing from my stink eyes to his twinklies}!

OK, where was I?  Oh yeah!  So, beanie Rob gave us black plaid during rehearsals for Cosmopolis …

Purple, baby! It's purple...black plaid is so boring!

I dunno, Rob…looks black to me!

Well, I'm standing by purple. And, damn it, Rita! No dissing the red pants!

Soooory!  Must be the light cause those pants look orange to me…no need to pout, but I love the LipPorn, so go ahead and purse those pretty lips at me anytime LOL!

Now, as to red, NOBODY rocks red plaid like The Pretty!

Awww, baby! One photo wasn't enough? Looks like a "scatter shot" LOL!

Rob, honey!  We could NEVER get enough of you, and you know it!!

Blue plaid is so cooool on our boy!  Love the blue plaid jacket he wore for the Vanity Fair 2009 shoot!

Hey! It was cold that day, and I really liked this jacket. Too bad they wouldn't let me keep it!

Yeah, baby!  Looks good on you {and I’d like to be all cuddled up under there against your warm chest *sigh*}!

{Thanks for the multiple Robgasms on these 2 gorgeous wallpapers, Jolori darlin’!}

Oh hell, let’s have us some more blue plaid Rob!!

Uh, Rita? Hate to tell you, but this is check...not plaid!

WHAT? Noooo!  It’s plaid…ain’t it?  Crap, you’re right!  It’s definitely blue check.

That's what I said! Maybe you should get your eyes checked, Rita! Get it...checked?

Well, you can’t go wrong wearing blue AND red PLAID, Rob darlin’!!!

Um, Rita? Forgive me for that eyes remark? Didn't mean to hurt your feelings!

Sweetheart, I’d forgive you ANYTHING you look at me like that! {Damned ol’ Baby Boomer Cougar eyes!}

Good! Cause I was wondering what you thought of boring ol' BROWN plaid LOL!

On you, Rob?  Just looks waaarm!  {Gah! TonguePorn!  Just kill me now!!!}

So, brown plaid doesn't turn you off?

No, baby! It purely don’t! {will…not…get lost…in the EyePorn!}

Hmmm...well, what color plaid DON'T you like, Rita?

I dunno, Rob…yellow’s not really my favorite color, so maybe yellow? {GAH!! Can’t take much more LipPorn!}

Gonna have to agree with you on yellow plaid, Rita!

Aw, it ain’t THAT bad, darlin’!  But, of all the plaids, Tybert plaid is my absolute favorite!!

Tybert? What the hell is a Tybert???

Tybert is, well…Tyler Hawkins and Robert Pattinson…Tyler / Robert = Tybert.  See?

LMAO! Damn it, Rita! You crack me the f*ck up! Good thing I wasn't actually drinking this coffee!!

Oops! Well, now it’s MY turn to apologize, Rob darlin’ LOL!

Gotta run now, Rita! It's been fun...see you next week!

Thanks for dropping in, Rob!  It’s a date! {OMG!  MuffinPorn… FingerPorn… LipPorn… HairPorn FTMFW!!!}

Crap! And I had about a million more Tybert photos, too!

Happy Sunday, ya’ll!

Rita

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Filed under Fingerporn, Remember Me, Rob Pattinson, Sensual Sunday, Stunning, Tybert