Sensual Sunday ~ The Art of Seduction!

♥

Good evenin’, ladies!

It goes without sayin’ that Rob could give lessons in the Art of Seduction, but I’m not here to give away any of his trade secrets!

No, I’m here to wallow in the sensual beauty that is Rob and I’m takin’ you with me!

I NEED to be seduced all over again…

’cause I’ve been feelin’ kinda neglected since Rob’s been in ninja mode!

With The Rover his only film in the can so far this year….

it could be AGES until he’s on the promo tour!

Somethin’ along the lines of the Cosmopolis promo tour would be ideal!

I wouldn’t wish for him to be subjected to the intense fuckery that encompassed promotin’ the Twilight Saga ever again!

Although, WE got an epic amount of RobPorn out of the deal…

I don’t think it was all that much fun for Rob!

Well, except maybe for some of the nicer fan encounters!

The quiet, respectful fans who’d show up late at night around his hotel…

hopin’ for a glimpse,  a kind word…acknowledgement, if you will…

and an autograph…better yet, a photo!

Rob DOES appreciate his fans, I’m sure!

And, boy, do we appreciate him!

We appreciate everythin’ he does for us…

it’s just that we miss him!

Maybe, if we’re lucky…

some charity event or other will touch his heart enough to attend!

Oh, my! Rob in a suit again after all this time?

That would be such a treat for us…

his 1%!  You remember? He said if only 1% of his Twilight fans followed him forward…

he would consider himself lucky!

Ha! No luck about it!  We’d follow our man to hell and back!

All he ever has to do is ask!

All he ever has to do is give US even 1% of his attention!

Just let us know what your own way is, darlin’, and you can have it!

Oops!  I mighta got off track LOL! But I sure do feel a whole lot better, don’t you?

Happy Sunday, y’all!

Rita

Sensual Sunday ~ Your Guide to the Promised Land!

Good evenin’, ladies!

I know I’m very late, but it’s GOT to still be Sunday somewhere in the world, right?

You can probably tell from the title that I got my perve on today LOL!

Yup! I’ll be examinin’ that typical male leg spread that leads us to “The Promised Land!”

It’s a guy thing and Rob, king of all guys, will be demonstrating some of the subtle nuances {whether he wants to or not}!

I call this the Semi-Open Invitation!  Rob’s feelin’ good about himself and is open to communication, but that’s it…no touchie feelie shit allowed!

Seein’ as he’s hunched over Hidin’ the Goods, I’d say the invitation is hereby revoked… don’t expect anythin’ more’n a polite howdy do!

Rob’s Alpha Male Signal to all other dudes to back the fuck off…he’s Numero Uno!

Which, at the same time, is his Matin’ Display to the ladies!

Well, I’m sure as hell ready to be mated LMAO!!!

And I know I’m not the only one!  DIED an’ Gone to Heaven *groan!*

This subtle signal means Rob’s Not Available no matter how funny and cute you are!

Rob’s You Do All The Work display! {startin’ with gettin’ rid of that belt *THUD!*}

Who’s up for a matin’ session with Rob on that hammock? Raise your hands!!!

Awww, Rob! Fair warnin’…we’re not above molestin’ you in your sleep LOL!

Heheheh! I thought that would get his attention…he wouldn’t wanna miss anything, right?

Subliminal Size Suggestion! By puttin’ a couple large, inaminate objects between Rob’s legs, we are subconsciously lead to assume there’s more than enough to go around LOL!

I’m sure it wasn’t meant to be so suggestive as to be downright scary, but whoever took that photo wasn’t takin’ our pervy little minds into consideration!!!

If they knew us at all, they’d know that we are, at this moment, measurin’ Rob’s hands, fingers and thumb LMAO!!!

Not to mention his feet LMAO!!!

And the results of our measurements have just been confirmed by Rob himself ROTFLMAO!!! {Poor Matt gave up and crossed his legs in shame!}

Ultimately, Rob’s Wide Legged Straddle is an invitation to be, well…straddled!

Excuse me while I live vicariously for an hour or two…maybe longer *le sigh!*

Oops! A blatant signal from Rob that he’s had enough for today!

Until next time!!!

Happy Sunday, y’all!

Rita

Sensual Sunday ~ Baseball Boy!

♦

Oh my God, ladies!

I’ve been laughin’ my ass off all week readin’ one of the funniest fics I’ve come across in a good while LOL!

Bella at her snarkiest best…Edward {a.k.a. Baseball Boy} at his dorkiest EVER!

“Wait! What?” you may ask. “It’s not Fan Fiction Friday!”

Yeah, but it’s the inspiration for my post today and, therefore, fair game! Get it…Fair Game LMAO! But, seriously, do yourselves a HUGE favor and start reading:

Curve Ball by Staceleo

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9102043/1/Curve-Ball

Opposites attract don’t they? Not in Bella Swan’s world. Unfortunately, the Captain of the baseball team has other ideas. A short chapter tale written for mauigirl60.

♦ {Diamond…*gigglesnort!*}

The key word bein’ “baseball,” it stood to reason I’d hark way back to the Vampire Baseball scene from Twilight LOL!

Of course, it’s from Cosmopolis rehearsals, but Rob’s got to practice first, right? Well, it does look like he’s at a battin’ cage, don’t it?

And, Rob’s wearin’ a proper baseball cap. What? I liked that pic in color, too!

You have to catch the ball, before you can throw it Rob!

There ya go, darlin’! {Are you catchin’ Rob’s pout? *Drool!*}

Time to suit up and get out on the field…give ‘em hell, baby!!

Why so serious? It’s supposed to fun!

Oh, I get it…someone’s cheatin’! Fuck ‘em up, darlin’!

LOL! I spy blue boxers!!

Don’t let that big bully push you around, darlin’!

Sorry, Missi! Guess Rob’s not beyond flippin’ someone the bird after all LMAO!

Heads up…you still have a fastball to catch!

Faster Rob!

And NO CHEATIN’!

Uh, oh! They saw you cheatin’ with the wires, baby!

Bunch of pussies! You call that rumblin’?

Game called on account of gross incompetence LMAO!!!

One of the reasons that made the whole Vampire Baseball scene so much fun for me was the music that went with it…Supermassive Black Hole by Muse!

Hell’n I was stuck in a Classic Rock rut for years until Twilight came along and updated my taste in music LOL!

What life change did Twilight do for you?

Happy Sunday, y’all!

Rita

Sensual Sunday ~ Dear Rita!

♥

Ladies!

You are NOT goin’ to believe this…hell’n you coulda knocked me over with a feather then this arrived in my RA in-box the other day!

Was this for real? Is someone pullin’ my leg?

Stranger things have happened, I guess, but WTF?

♠

Dear Rita,

I hope you don’t mind me writing to you like this, but I’ve had such a bad week that I needed some advice.

First of all, just when I thought I was managing to snag myself some interesting roles out of the shadow of Edward Cullen, they go and drop me from Unbound Captives for being too manly and not Edward Cullenish enough! Bloody Hell, Rita! You’ve seen my long, bendy fingers and wonky legs…Do they look overly manish to you?

Then they go and nominate me for Worst Actor at the Razzies. Still, at least I didn’t win that one (but I do think they should have had a separate category for that bloody itchy wig I had to wear )!

Rita, I feel I’ve known you long enough that you’ll give it to me straight…well, you did offer something like that the last time I was in the RROP with you, remember? Do you think my fans will still love me after Twilight?

I’m sorry to be a bit of a Whinging Pom about it all but, what with the heat out here, and spending my nights watching reruns of Only Fools and Horses and Fawlty Towers, I think I might be feeling a tad homesick.

Yours Sincerely,

Rob

Somewhere in the outback of Australia

(Sorry, can’t say more…you know how the paps are.)

♥

{Rita bites down hard on her knuckles, squeeein’ herself blue in the face as silently as possible, and grabs an industrial strength ShamWow to sit on!}

Dear Rob,

You know you can write to me {or anything else you might want to do to me *THUD!*} anytime you want, darlin’!

Just remember that turnabout is fair play!

Sweetheart, you were still just a kid when those people approached you for Unbound Captives. Your Edward Cullen, gangly 109 year old teenager, persona may have been how they saw you back then…

but, honey, you’re all MAN now!

So, let Zach Efron play Unbound Captives. We want to see you play the Sexy Beast we all know you are. I hear there’s a great movie in the works that needs a leadin’ man and we all think you’d be perfect for the part. It’s a rather large role and the lead character’s name is Christian. Perhaps you’ve heard of it…Fifty Shades of Grey?

As for the Razzies, your ridiculous wig absofuckinlutely deserved to be in the Razzie Hall of Fame, but that has nothing to do with your actin’. Don’t listen to those f*cktards who put that shit out there, baby! Your massive fanbase knows you are an amazin’ actor. WE will NOT be surprised to see you takin’ home an Oscar someday instead of presentin’ one to someone less deservin’!

Rob, you can always count on  me to give it to you hard and straight…

and believe me when I say your fanWOMEN, hOOrs and Angelz will follow you unto the ends of the Earth!

Now, I know it’s been hot as hell in the Land Down Under, so just get yourself back here to the RRoP as soon as you get home…I’ve got just the thing to cool you down *gigglesnort!*

Feel better now, darlin’!

I’ll take that as a “yes!” LMAO!!!

Happy Sunday, y’all!

Rita

Super huge thanks to ClaireBamboozle {Rob’s letter} and RF {BIG help with responses}!!!

Sensual Sunday ~ The Blues and How to Cure Them!

♥

Rita’s Blues

Got up outta mah bed…do do do di do

Put mah feet on da flo’…do do do di do

Whut da fuck is dis feelin’…do do do di do

Mah bwainz haz gone DED…do do do di do

But da cure fur da blues…do do do di do

Is jist two clicks away…do do do di do

Gonna perv on Da Pretty…do do do di do

Da whole live long day!!! do do do di do

 

If Rob is missin’ us as much as we’re missin’ him, then he’s got to be feelin’ da blues, too!

Thought I’d acknowledge that fact with some Blue Rob pics!

You know, the ones with a blue accent somewhere in them…like the big blue R, or…

A blue necktie and that blue wasp on his white shirt!

Rob’s pretty blue eyes will always chase my blues away LOL!

A blue band of color in the middle…

Or on either end!

Blue baseball cap will do in a pinch!

But blue hoodies FTMFW!! {do we have a muffin alert goin’ on here?}

Hey, wasn’t that blue shirt originally yellow?

Sally’s blue shirt is an eye-popper for sure!

While Melbie tones it down to Baby Blue!

She and I’ve Been Robbed got into cahoots for Blue Eyed Rob…called themselves I’ve Been Toast LOL! {I’ve Been Toasted probably would’ve been more appropriate LMAO!!!}

I dearly love a black ‘n white with only one point of color in them!

But, when I saw this edit by Mysexyvampire…All I Saw Was Blue! *Gah!* The EYES!!!

Blue shirt AND blue jeans…includin’ a DEFINITE MUFFIN ALERT!!!

Endin’ with a Malibu Rob with his blue surfboard to get us all primed for MUCH warmer weather!!!

To those of you in the line of fire of all the winter chaos, please be careful out there!!!

Happy Sunday, y’all!

Rita

Sensual Sunday ~ But He’s Not There!

♥

No, I’m not referrin’ to the fact that Rob’s been pretty much off grid since the last promo tour for BD2.

It’s actually somethin’ I noticed in a photo I came across recently that intrigued me enough to go searchin’ for more!

Seems that, even in the midst of chaos, Rob goes missin’…in his head!

For just a split second, his beautiful eyes go all blank and unfocused and I bless the photographers who capture that because it’s pure Rob, which is a thing of beauty!

You know, I just this second realized Rob was chewin’ on a plastic bottle cap LOL! Wonder if HE’s even aware of what he’s doin’?

This mighta been on The View and I sure don’t blame him for zonin’ out on those cacklin’ hens {tryin’ to be polite here}!

Never endin’, repetitive questions would bore me to death, too LOL!

The results of Rob’s photoshoots are endlessly fascinatin’ for us, but Rob might not find the process all that interestin’!

If MY man stared off into the distance in the middle of fuckHAWT sex with ME, I’d…well, he wouldn’t escape unscathed! Just sayin’! {Gawd, I love Rob’s sticky up sex hair in that scene! Wish it had been my fingers makin’ it look that way!}

I’d venture to guess Rob’s signin’ autographs here, only on autopilot LMAO!!!

Easy to overlook that fact that Rob’s “gone” because of the JawPorn, LipPorn and FingerPorn LOL!

This is the same press conference so I don’t know why these 2 photos are givin’ him such red hair, but I like it!

Almost missed Rob’s glazed over eyes for the DimplePorn *THUD!*

Anyone else yearn for more “Rob as a Sex GOD” photoshoots? *DED!*

Rob might be driftin’ away for a moment, but my eyes are rivited by LashPorn, LipPorn and the tip of that lady’s finger restin’ on his chin! I wouldn’t mind havin’ HER job…well, only for Rob!!!

Much of Rob’s role as Tyler Hawkins in Remember Me revolved around him bein’ introverted.  Guess they found the right man for the part, ’cause it just seems to come natural to him!

I always wondered what Rob was writin’ down in that journal! Too bad we never got a good close-up LOL!

A quiet moment in the midst of chaos, indeed! Musta been a million people runnin’ around the set that day!

See what I mean by pure, beautiful Rob? He doesn’t even have to try…he just IS!! *le sigh!*

I mighta been a little dubious about includin’ this one, but decided the gratituous TongPorn was well worth keepin’ LOL!

Happy Sunday, y’all!

Rita

Sensual Sunday ~ For the Love of Lashes!!!

Dear Friends!

I was somewhat taken aback the other day when the lovely Mississippibellalis sent me a tumblr message sayin’ she was gonna miss my Sunday posts!

Hmmm, it would appear there’s been a slight misunderstandin’ that I was retirin’ from RA! SO NOT TRUE!!!

I have recently retired from WORK, darlin’s, NOT from RA! So, just for even thinkin’ the unthinkable, all you angelz and hOOrs are gettin’ 25 LASHES!!

Start filin’ into the RRoP and assume the position, ladies!!!

ONE!

 Aw, Rita! Don’t hurt my girls!

TWO!  {Trust me, Rob darlin’! It’s gonna hurt ‘em real gooood!}

Oh, God! I can’t watch!

THREE!  {You don’t have to watch, but you’ll miss all the fun if you close your eyes LOL!}

 Wait! Fun? You mean you expect them to enjoy being lashed?

 FOUR!  {Well, duuuh! They’re YOUR lashes, Rob! So, hell to the yeah, they’re gonna love it LOL!}

In that case, swing away, Rita!!!

FIVE!  {Oh, I will! Don’t you worry your pretty little head!} Feel the burn, ladies!

SIX!  No squirmin’…you’ll make me miss!!!

SEVEN!  My God! Does this man not have the most beautiful lashes ever?

EIGHT!  The way they fan across his cheeks…GAH!

How’re they holding up, Rita?

NINE!  {Just fine, Rob. Hey, I thought you were gonna keep your eyes closed!}

TEN!  If I didn’t know better, I’d think they were stick-ons LOL!

ELEVEN!  I think Hedi Slimane was in love with Rob’s lashes, too!

TWELVE!  A lethal combination with Rob’s thick eyebrows…THUD!

THIRTEEN!  Oh, my Rob! You guys are clickin’ these to full screen, right?

FOURTEEN!  Crap! The lips distracted me…missed!

FIFTEEN!  Notice how Rob’s lashes just shine!!!

SIXTEEN!  Sexy Beast! DED!!!

SEVENTEEN!  Golden lashes…can’t.take.it!

EIGHTEEN!  The most beautiful man in the world!

NINETEEN!  Ah, Geez! Kill me now!!! I felt that one my own self!

Uh, Rita? Haven’t they had enough, yet?

TWENTY!  {Hell, NO! Not near enough! Now, don’t go gettin’ squeamish on me!}

TWENTY-ONE!  JawPorn alert! How can I be expected to concentrate on my swings?!

TWENTY-TWO!  My arm’s gettin’ tired…good thing I’m nearly done!

TWENTY-THREE!  Oops! Landed one on the same spot…never mind!

Damnit, Rita! You’re drawing blood! STOP!

TWENTY-FOUR  {Only one more, Rob darlin’!} You guys can handle one more, right?!

Seriously? That’s enough! Please!?

TWENTY-FIVE!  {You can open your eyes now, Rob! I’m all done!}

So help me, Rita! If you’ve left a mark on any of them, I’ll be very upset with you!

Rob, angel! You’ve got the longest, softest lashes in the whole wide world! How could I have possibly marked them in any way?

* * *

*Lightin’ up a ciggy!* Well, my lovelies…was it as good for you as it was for me?

Happy Sunday, y’all!

Rita

Sensual Sunday ~ Remember Me…With Love From Me to You!

♥

Welcome back, Angelz!

If you’re wonderin’ about that little ♥ symbol at the top of my avi that’s been makin’ an appearance lately, it’s just to keep the text from starting off so high up {just don’t look right to me}.

Coulda been any symbol, I guess {Ω ♠ Ψ ♣ Σ or ♦}, but I ♥ Rob, and I ♥ you all, of course, so ♥ it is LOL!

There IS a point to this…I think!  Yeah, I was thinkin’ about Remember Me!  One of the only films where Rob looked and dressed so much like himself for the role of Tyler Hawkins that the end scene just broke my ♥!  I know I wasn’t the only one!

I didn’t show you this edit by Sally ~ InRobWeLust last Sunday.  I was holdin’ out on you cause it’s what inspired today’s post!

So fuckin’ beautiful, it brings tears to my eyes!

Sally wasn’t the only one to move me with their lovely edits, enhancements and banners for Remember Me…

I credit this one to Floren83, even though it’s not tagged, cause I snagged it from her RobPorn stash a long time ago {shameless lurker that I am}!

You have to look close, but I promise this is a Robelied edit {gonna have to search for more of her stuff}!

Have I ever told you how much I love Rob in RED???  This is tagged RPAU {Robert Pattinson Australia}, but it has Jules’s fingerprints all over it…Jules? This yours?

Now, I KNOW this one is Jules’s!  Absolutely one of my very favorites!

The lovely Biel made this photo look like it mighta been found among the debris of the Twin Towers…soooo haunting!

There’s a raw earthiness to some of Biel’s edits that speaks to me!  I like her style!!

If you’ve never seen this Melbie edit before, shield your eyes…it will burn itself into your bwainz!  Oops…too late!  I consider this a triumph of her craft!

Once again, I can only tell you this fabulous banner is credited to Nylfn…people need to tag their shit, damnit!

If I knew who made this beautiful banner, I’d hug ‘em to death, I tell you! {You guys double clicking these things? They’re huge!}

Such a poignant scene {unknown bannermaker}!

By the time Rob / Tyler spoke those words, I was sobbing my ♥ out…I just broke *ungh, ungh, gulp!* {damnit, Jules!}

Thanks, Melbie darlin’!  Just what I needed to, uh…refocus LOL!

Oh, yeah! Now we talkin’!!!

Lordy, the light on his hair! Those lips…GAH!  With plenty of red in the background? FTMFW!!!

Another Melbie Masterpiece I just had to share with you all!

Am I crazy for lovin’ that beat-up face?  Only because I know it’s just make-up, right? But, oh, that razor sharp jawline *drool!*  So lickable!!!

Whoever chose this photo for the official movie poster was genius! Love the way the wind ruffles his hair!  And the half smile on his beautiful face *groan!*

Take us out with a smile, Biel darlin’!

And, if all that RobGoodness wasn’t enough for you, I’ll leave you with her awesome vid “Just Tyler  / with love from me to you”…

Now, Imma just go watch Remember Me again!

Happy Sunday, ya’ll!

Rita

Rob in Cannes…Cannes you handle it?

RobsFan~tasy

 

Hello Ladies, like all of you I have been licking clicking and saving all the Rob ~ Cannes goodness for days…

 and I’m still behind…

 no, not that behind Rob {snickers} although it IS a great one. When I heard Rob received an eight and a half minute standing ovation I was not only thrilled for him but undescribably proud of him. While searching for the beautiful edits I knew would be on FB and Tumblr I saw this one from Melbie Toast and she managed to elegantly put into words what I was feeling… {I Added some pics between her words}

“My dear friends, I’m still so overwhelmed by the events yesterday…which I shared with my dear friend Jackie, I felt I must write something to all of you about my feelings. The standing ovation Rob received at the premiere of Cosmopolis so moved me, and him… to see Rob FINALLY get the respect and admiration for his acting abilities by the elite…I know it must have been tremendous emotionally… Just incredible…I am so damn happy for him…

 As Jackie mentioned to me, “I think we actually think feel his elation and also his relief too. We are his fans and we love him so much but this is finally acceptance from those who matter in his career. It’s just so wonderful. He is blessed with a wonderful life at the moment and long may it last….I want nothing but love and happiness for this wonderful young man. Maybe it is a little strange, the effect he has on us…It’s like we feel what he feels…Well, a little maybe!”
I agree with Jackie; Yes, it is strange, in a way… how we feel about him… so devoted to his success…but we’ve followed his every move for years, rejoicing in his talents, and to finally see him recognized in such a profound way by his peers… this is just so awesome – we can’t help but vicariously enjoy and be moved by his success at Cannes. 

I’ve never cared so deeply for a celebrity… it’s just him…he is just so charming, disarming, uninhibited, humble, and filled with so much sweetness and sexiness at the same time and oh so very talented in so many ways…. he has beguiled us… this love and admiration I have for Rob is entirely new to me and I wonder sometimes why I am experiencing something like this so late in my life… maybe it is because I am mature enough to see beyond the shell of celebrity and truly admire the wonderful person that Rob is. 

Yes, Rob is a very handsome man, but there are a lot of handsome men out there…it is his personality that has reeled us in and made us love him so much and be devoted to him like no other. He joked in the past that his fans were in love with “the vampire”… and that may have been true years ago…but now…we have gotten to know his true self via hundreds of interviews and appearances and in many of your cases, an actual meeting… and we’ve heard all the stories of how wonderful he is to fans in person from those who have met him…. we have grown to truly love and adore this man for WHO he is…inside.

I just absolutely adore him and I think that is why his success at Cannes has so affected me… I’m just so proud of him and so happy for him, I had to put it in words! I just can’t go to sleep until I had done this…” ~Melbie Toast

Thank you Melbie for saying so beautifully what Icould not… {Bravo BB}

Until Next time ladies, Keep Lickin’ Clickin’ and Savin’!!

Much love to you all,

RobsFan~tasy

Sensual Sunday ~ Rob’s Happy Tail!!

Sorry, ladies!

Got a little sidetracked on my way to Barcelona, so…next week, I promise! And, before you ask…NO! That’s not a misspelling of Happy Trail LOL!  I actually do mean Happy Tail!

Aw, come on! You know what I mean, right?

Here, lemme just explain how this photo on tumblr froze me in my tracks…

Edward about to walk into the light in New Moon!

Beautiful, isn’t it? One of a million gorgeous photos of Rob, right? So, what caught my eye?  That darlin’ little tail of hair on the back of his neck!  GAH!

Rob as Tyler in Remember Me

Women can’t keep their hands off of it…I know I want MY fingers locked.right.THERE! BTW, you’re gonna want to click this one cause it’s HUGE!

Edward in Breaking Dawn Part 1

See what I mean?

Remember Me {not likely to forget LOL!}

When that little lock of hair comes with BackPorn, it’s ALL GOOD! *THUD!*

Theo Wenner photoshoot

You can even see it when Rob is photographed in profile…well, if his hair is long enough, of course!

Rob at Collectormania 2006

Like in this one! Well, it might not be THE little pluck, but when Rob’s hair is long enough to curl around his neck, it gets to me BIG TIME!

Melbrooks Book Signing 2008

When it gets TOO long, we get to drool at the swept back hair exposing his elegant neck, but that little curl is still there!

LAX October 21, 2011

Damned airport paps KNOW what I like!

LAX March 8, 2012

No matter how short Rob cuts his hair, that little pluck is just waiting to come out and play!!!

Don't know when or where...stole it from Melbie's tumblr!

Now THAT‘s what I’m waiting to see again! Oh, WHEN, Rob????

MTV Movie Awards June 5, 2011

With any luck, that little lock of hair should be at least this long, by now! We’ll see when he gets to Cannes, unless the reported photoshoot is issued first *FIST PUMP!*

Inglorious Bastards premier at Cannes 2009

Not such a visible neck curl at Rob’s last appearance at Cannes, but I don’t think we minded, now did we? *le sigh!*

Rob as Eric Packer in Cosmopolis

In the meantime, we’ll just have to make do with the shorty in Cosmopolis, and…

Bel Ami

the longer neck curl in Bel Ami.  HEY! The Happy Tail…not the ass crack LMAO!!!

Happy Sunday, ya’ll!

Rita