Random Rita ~ Friday Feature Fics!

Wet Rob Avi

Evenin’ ladies!

I was appalled to realize I hadn’t read one single complete fic this week *FACEPALM!*

Anyone would think I’d become a complete WIP junkie LMAO!

It’s just that there are some stories goin’ on right now that are so damn gooood and I get so excited every time they update!

So WIPs are what you’re gettin’ today LOL!

Rob Attack


Bella decides she wants a baby and her biological clock ticks like a time bomb. She won’t try a sperm bank; she wants to meet a man, talk and check out his genes and then roll him over in the clover for a one-night Lo-ver. Can it happen that way?

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Drama – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 7 – Words: 14,502 – Reviews: 277 – Favs: 186 – Follows: 370 – Updated: May 20 – Published: Apr 1 – id: 11154986

The bar starts to quiet down as most of the people clear out. Joe grabs all the receipts and asks if I wouldn’t mind staying until closing. I can’t say no to the old guy, so I grab a few beers and sit next to Bronze Boy.

He tells me about the horrific accident near the diner, involving a young couple with a three-year-old little boy. Their car hit an oil slick, losing control and rolling them over an embankment behind the diner. He could do nothing to revive the man and woman.

With a shaky voice, he continues, “I tried everything, but there was internal bleeding. He never had a chance … Fuck … Only three years old.”

I hold his hand. “You did all that you could. I can’t imagine your grief, but you can’t blame yourself.” I kiss his hair to comfort him. “I’m so sorry,” I chant over and over.

He leans forward and grabs hold of me tightly. He sobs into the crick of my neck and I wrap my arms around his shoulders, running a hand through his soft hair. “It’s all right, it’s all right.”

The buzz of the beer…

His masculine scent …

Our closeness …

I break from our embrace and kiss his cheek.

He watches me with blurred eyes.

Another soft kiss. “It’s all right.” I rub my nose against his and slightly graze his lips with mine.

“Let me make you feel better, make you forget.”

And that’s really all she wanted to do but things got out of hand and you’ll have to read it to find out what happened next!


Rob Attack


Access Hollywood thinks he’s gay. Extra thinks he’s secretly married. In reality, Hollywood Hot Shot Edward Cullen is just busy. The literary world recognizes M. Dwyer as one of the most prolific writers of this generation. The business world knows Isabella Swan as a philanthropic real estate mogul. What happens when all of this comes crashing together? Canon Couples. Adult lang

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Humor – Chapters: 7 – Words: 19,906 – Reviews: 120 – Favs: 104 – Follows: 210 – Updated: 12m ago – Published: May 19 – id: 11259139

And crash they do…

“Why do I have to be here for this fitting, Ali? I will wear whatever you tell me to wear. You know my size, so why can’t I have an afternoon to myself?”

“Stop pouting, Edward,” Alice said. “Besides, I can tell just by looking at you that you ate a whole pepperoni pizza last night. My guess is you also had a couple beers and a couple Cherry Cokes with that. Your face is all bloated. You’re also looking a little pudgy. You better call your trainer if you want to really look the part for your WWI role.”

Edward ran his hands through his hair and said, “What is with everyone telling me I’m fat lately? Do I really look like I’ve put on weight?”

He walked to the bathroom to look in the mirror and just as he was about to pull the door open it was pushed from the inside and out tumbled a mass of brown hair. Acting on instinct, Edward’s arms shot out and he caught the softest, warmest body against his.

Time froze for a second when a small hand reached up and pushed the hair out of the way, and he was met with the most beautiful brown eyes he’d ever seen.

The rose colored, bow shaped lips that had formed a surprised O started moving, and he heard the most sexy voice say, “Oh shit!”

This story is definitely a MUST READ!!!


Rob Attack

{don’t know who made the pretty banner!}


Isabella Swan, an executive under a great deal of stress, has the sudden need to get out of the office. Driving aimlessly, she finds her way to a country market and meets the charismatic stock boy, Edward. But is there more to Edward than meets the eye? Can he help Bella figure out there is more to life than money and business?

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 4 – Words: 7,120 – Reviews: 875 – Favs: 768 – Follows: 1,097 – Updated: May 20 – Published: May 10 – id: 11238756

“You’re not a stock boy, are you?”

He shrugged sheepishly. “No. I’m…a little more than that.”

“Will you tell me?”

He pulled some more potatoes and handed them to me. I brushed the dirt off them as he grabbed a bottle of water and sat beside me on the warm earth, drinking deeply. He offered me the bottle, and I took a sip, liking the fact his lips had just been on the same bottle.

“My family runs the farm. My dad’s been a farmer all his life. Besides running my dad, my mom bakes all the bread and helps at the restaurant. My sister, Alice, does most of the cooking and overseeing. Her husband, Jasper, handles all the livestock with my brother, Emmett.”

He kept talking. “Em’s wife, Rose, makes the cheeses we use, and she and my mom do all the preserves, pickles, and jams we sell at the store. We’re all equal partners—we each bring our own strengths to the mix.”

“Wow! It is a family affair.”

“It is. Our cousins run the fruit farm and winery. We sell our produce through them as well as here, and we sell their fruit. Our wine comes from them. Anything we can’t produce, we get through other certified organic farms—not that there is much. We’re pretty self-sufficient.”

“Farm to table.”

Another masterpiece in the makin’ by the wonderful Edward’s Eternal!


Rob Attack

{banner by Christag}


In an instant your life can take a sharp left turn. Can you find the strength to lose it all and gain the unknown? Lives will be shattered, including your own.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Hurt/Comfort/Romance – Bella, Edward – Words: 2,650 – Reviews: 73 – Favs: 125 – Follows: 237 – Published: May 19 – id: 11258538

I’ll never forget how scary it was trying to find the right daycare for my six-week-old son. I interviewed countless centers and was almost to my wits end, when Angela Webber suggested Esme.

Meeting Esme Cullen literally changed my life, in more ways than one. First, she put me at ease instantly and I knew right away that her place is where Jake would be staying. It wasn’t much later down the road when my younger sister, Alice, met Esme’s son, Jasper, while picking Jake up for me. Their connection was instantaneous and they married just six months ago. The Cullens had become like family to me over the years, and now they actually are.

I pick up the phone and press to connect the call.

“Esme, how is everything?” It’s not unheard of for her to call me at the office, so I don’t think anything of it until I hear her next words.

“Bella, I need you to stay calm.”

I immediately tense. “What do you mean stay calm …Has something happened?”

I’m met by silence.

“Esme, you’re scaring me. What is it, please, tell me,” I almost scream into the phone.

I’ve already jumped from my seat and am pacing around my office, my mind going a million miles a minute.

“Bella,” she says finally. “It’s Jake.”

Only one chapter posted and I’m already blown away!

See? One of these days, I’ll seduce all you WIP wussies LMAO!

Happy Friday, y’all!


Night Raider


Filed under Fan Fiction Recs, Rita01tx

Random Rita ~ Friday Feature Fics!

Wet Rob Avi

Evenin’ ladies!

Fell in love with the cutest Edward this week! Bella was pretty darn sweet, too!

However, if hot lemons are all you’re after, this one is not for you…well, there IS an M rated outtake you have to do handstands to find and it’s well worth the trip but the story itself is a T!

Apparently, there were two separate stories at one time but are now pulled together into one, which might explain the low number of reviews! Let’s do something about that, shall we?

Rob Attack


Both POVs of Sticky Sweet and Sugar combined in one story. City Girl Bella meets Class Clown Edward when she moves to small-town Tennessee. He’s gorgeous, flirtatious, and possibly downright nuts. Can she hold onto her heart around a guy who flirts with anything that breathes? So much fluff.

Rated: Fiction T – English – Romance/Humor – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 45 – Words: 31,713 – Reviews: 97 – Favs: 161 – Follows: 79 – Updated: Feb 11, 2014 – Published: Jul 14, 2013 – Status: Complete – id: 9489074

My new friends invited me to sit with them at lunch, which was a relief. I’d had nightmares about eating at my own table or even hiding away in the library to avoid the stares. I still got a lot of stares, but they were easier to handle with Jasper and Alice as a buffer. It wasn’t long before we were joined by a boy even taller than Jasper and a quiet, pretty blonde. They introduced themselves as Emmett and Rosalie before jumping into comfortable conversation.

An empty seat sat across from me, and I wondered why they would leave it in the middle of the group rather than sitting closer together, but the question was answered before I could ask when another beautiful boy dropped into the chair with an impish grin.

“Principal Letner again?” Alice asked in a bored tone.

“Yep. He loves me. He wants to have my babies.”

I wanted to laugh, but my vocal cords were frozen. He was truly the best looking guy I’d ever seen up close, and he beat a lot of the guys on television, too. My gaze wandered over him, taking in his riotous red-gold hair, twinkling green eyes, devilish smirk, well-formed shoulders, and dirty T-shirt stretched across a broad chest.

His eyes widened when he finally noticed me seated on one side of Jasper, and he glanced over at Alice with even more mischief.

“Jasper, are you hoggin’ all the girls again? If you’re claiming the new girl, can I finally have Alice?”

Emmett and Rosalie both cracked up, letting out loud guffaws of laughter, but Alice reached across the table to smack the top of the beautiful boy’s head.

“Gross, Edward! You’re my cousin.”

My stomach twisted in revulsion as the boy waggled his eyebrows first at Alice and then at me.

“What? The closer kin, the deeper in, right, New Girl? Too bad she’s not my sister.”

I just stared. I had no words to give.

He turned his attention back to Jasper. “Well, if you’re going to be selfish, I’ll go look elsewhere. New Girl, if you get tired of sharing his attention, look me up.”

Without another word, he was gone, leaving me staring after him with my jaw unhinged.

“And that’s Edward,” Jasper informed me.

“He flirts with anything that breathes, but don’t take it to heart. He doesn’t have a serious bone in his body.” These were the first words Rosalie spoke directly to me.

“Even his cousin?” I breathed, watching Edward’s gorgeous backside as he shoved through the cafeteria doors.

“Especially his cousin,” Emmett assured me. “Welcome to Cedar Ridge, where you’re the only person who doesn’t share genes with the rest of the school.”

“Not true!” Alice shouted indignantly when I eyed Jasper’s arm around her shoulder. “We’ve had a few new people before you. Jasper and Rose moved here two years ago.”

“We called dibs,” Emmett whispered.

The line about Principal Letner wantin’ to have Edward’s babies sold me on readin’ every spare minute I had right through to the end LMAO!

His love/hate relationship with Charlie is very entertainin’, too *gigglesnort!*

I stopped at the creek to find some small pebbles since the ones in Bella’s driveway would shatter the glass. Asking for forgiveness would be hard enough without also apologizing for property damage.

I managed to get two launched before Charlie Swan opened the door, wearing his Dad Face. Still, he didn’t have his gun, and he didn’t look like he was itching to grab it, either.

“Get in here and leave her alone.”

Those were the nicest words he’d ever said to me.

“Look, I knew this whole dating thing would have to happen sooner or later, and I can’t deny you’re a damn sight better than any other dumb shit in this town. You’re going places, Edward. None of the other kids around here seem to have any ambition. That’s good enough for me. You make this right, you hear me? I don’t want her taking up with some other idiot and settling down here instead of going to college.”

Somewhere in there he’d called me an idiot, but I didn’t mind. He’d also pretty much given me his blessing.

Rob Attack

Oh, and I tracked down the lemon for you in a collection by DirtyCheekyMonkeys…SunKing’s lemon is chapter 100:



Another Edward I wish was battin’ on my team is both a math teacher and a rabid basefall fan…and gay *damnit!* Now, I’m not a huge fan of drabble fics UNLESS they’re written by Bornonhalloween and Benched is one of her best!

Rob Attack


6th-grade teacher Edward Cullen has done his homework on coaching tee-ball. His confidence evaporates when he takes the field for his team’s first practice and sees none other than Emmett McCarty, World Champion Mariners pitcher, on the sidelines. Can Edward manage his 5-year-olds, his fanboy crush, AND the arrogant asshole who insists on getting in his way at every turn?

Rated: Fiction M – English – Humor – Edward, Emmett – Chapters: 80 – Words: 12,929 – Reviews: 2,497 – Favs: 122 – Follows: 178 – Updated: Mar 28 – Published: Dec 9, 2014 – Status: Complete – id: 10879668

I read this as a WIP and because Born posts faaast, I got all excited and missed the most essential clue of the whole damn story! Boy, was my face red and don’t expect me to give it away here LOL!

Rob Attack

But, to get the whole experince of the most romantic Edward and Emmett ever, you HAVE to read Benched first before goin’ straight to Wild Pitch!

Rob Attack


Superstar Emmett (“Big Mac”) McCarty is a genius on the mound, but fame forces his true desires deep into the shadows. When a certain fan with a knack for numbers catches Emmett’s attention, life gets a little bit wild. This NON-drabble story is a prequel to “Benched.” M/M Emmett POV. Rated M for major league Edward/Emmett loving.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance – Chapters: 9 – Words: 18,866 – Reviews: 430 – Favs: 100 – Follows: 165 – Updated: 9h ago – Published: Mar 28 – id: 11144889

Emmett’s first sight of Edward…

He couldn’t discern much more than tall, lean figures from across the room, two caps turning left and right, scanning for Emmett. As he stepped out of the shadows and walked toward his guests, Emmett could distinguish the younger man’s features from the proud father angled behind him, taking a back seat to his son’s special moment.

Damn…Did that crazy hair poking out from under his cap have a reddish tint to it? Every step brought new details into focus, and by God, Emmett needed the whole damn picture. He picked up speed, jogging toward the Cullens with his heart in his throat.

Turn this way and show me your eyes, Emmett willed him, but as he drew closer, Emmett realized that Edward Cullen was taking his sweet, damn time surveying the locker room. In fact, the guy didn’t seem all that interested in finding anyone in particular.

What did you expect from the gay man with a locker room fetish? Emmett chuckled in pure amusement as he closed in on Edward’s unconcealed glee; the guy had a grin about a mile wide. Fucking hell, he is adorable!

The doctor spotted Emmett first, smiled, and pointed Edward’s shoulders head-on for Emmett. Edward’s eyes popped wide open as they landed on Emmett for the first time, giving Emmett a clear view and good, long look at the face he’d only seen in his imagination. Warm, gold-splattered hazel eyes sat deep beneath a pair of bushy, dark auburn brows, while a long, broad nose cut a separation between the warring almond-shaped eye on one side and wispy, hooded feather on the other. The only symmetry to be found was the picture-perfect set of slightly bowed, delicate lips sitting above a chin that could have been squared off with a ruler. Who gave all those random parts the right to align into a devastatingly gorgeous face?

As he closed the distance between them, Emmett extended his right hand, ignoring the twinge in his shoulder. He unleashed his smile and shot his victim with it right between those mismatched eyes. “You must be Edward.”

Bobbling his hat and program—and dear Lord, the man had a mitt!—into his left hand, Edward clasped Emmett’s hand.

“Yes.” He barely managed to force out the word but continued after clearing his throat. “Wow, I can’t . . .” Edward shook his head and chuckled at himself. “I apologize for acting like a star-struck idiot. I didn’t want to be ‘fan boy.’ It’s just . . . I’m shaking hands with the best pitcher in the league . . . I mean, I’m shaking the actual hand that throws the pitches!”

Awww, they’re both so smitten *le sigh!* I’m always excited to see an update of Wild Pitch in my inbox and you will too if you’re readin’…

Rob Attack

Enjoy all these wonderful stories and share the ones you’ve been readin’ this week!

Happy Friday, y’all!


Night Raider


Filed under Fan Fiction Recs, Rita01tx

Random Rita ~ Friday Feature Fics!

Wet Rob Avi

Evenin’ ladies!

Growin’ up Texan, I’ve seen my fair share of rodeos and there’s an aura surroundin’ bull riders that sets them apart as a different breed of man!

First off, you’d have to be in the best shape of your life to manhandle 2 tons of ragin’ bull tryin’ to buck  you off and then kill you!

These men are lucky to end their careers without permanent injuries of some kind. Hell’n they’re lucky to actually live to see the end of their rodeo careers!

Edward Cullen lived but the price he paid put him in smack dab in the path of Bella Swan…

Rob Attack


Bella’s an exemplary student who enjoys her part-time job at the University, helping with event days; except when she has to deal with one particular sponsor. Edward Cullen runs the most popular country bar in the area. Handsome, charming and cocky, he only has eyes for one member of the student body. Can he ever make her see beneath his façade?

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 16 – Words: 46,911 – Reviews: 3,303 – Favs: 1,734 – Follows: 2,165 – Updated: May 6 – Published: Mar 1 – Status: Complete – id: 11082616

“My last competition, there was a bull. He was fucking ornery as hell—in fact his name was Satan’s Spawn. Bad-tempered, nasty piece of livestock. Most were afraid to ride him. The purse to best him was huge.” I looked at her and shrugged. “I was young, cocky and stupid. And I wanted that purse.”

“He won?” She guessed.

“No. I rode him twice. Lasted the longest both rounds.”

“What…” Her voice trailed off.

“Something went wrong. I felt my hold slip and instead of falling back and away, I fell forward.” I drew in a deep lungful of air. “I tried rolling, but he got me before they got to him. He stomped on my leg and hip, crushing the bones. Luckily, they got me away before he started to gore me. I remember the pain, screaming, people running, but that’s all.”

“What was the damage?”

I tapped my leg. “I have an artificial hip and enough rods and posts in my leg to erect a small building. They weren’t sure I’d walk again, but I’m stubborn.”

Well, you can’t do what Bella does and not wanna get your hands on that long, lean, sexy body to make sure it’s fully capable of performin’!

“I wish I had a massage table,” she mumbled as she crawled up the bed, straddling my thighs, pushing my body deeper into the mattress. “This would be so much easier.”

I shook my head. “No, I like it like this.”

I didn’t have to see to know she rolled her eyes at me.

She was so good at this. Within moments, I was lost in a haze of pleasure. Up and down, back and forth, she pressed and pulled, her fingers digging into muscles I didn’t even know were sore and easing the ache. She stretched over my back, the silk of her skin brushing on mine as she moved in a constant fluid motion, never ceasing in her ministrations. I found the strength in her tiny hands amazing—how her little fingers could dig so deep and coax hardened muscles into a relaxed state was beyond my comprehension.

I tried desperately not to get turned on by the feel of her gliding fingers over my buttocks, but it was to no avail. My cock twitched and lengthened, pressing into the mattress, wanting relief. Wanting her hands on him.

*WickedEvilGrin!* Yeah, you’re just gonna have to read it to see how THAT ends LMAO! Lucky for you, it’s COMPLETE!

Rob Attack

{banner by FallingsnowWinter}


Psalm 107 ~ New American Standard Bible

Those who go down to the sea in ships,
Who do business on great waters;

They have seen the works of the LORD,
And His wonders in the deep.

Rob Attack

{banner by FallingsnowWinter}


My life had always been a sea of carefully laid plans, until he blew through. Cool and quiet, like the calm before the storm. It was brewing. Short summary inside. AH

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Angst – Chapters: 10 – Words: 28,229 – Reviews: 701 – Favs: 285 – Follows: 507 – Updated: May 3 – Published: Mar 23 – id: 11134279

Bella moves to the tiny fishin’ village of Clallam for her very first job as a teacher. She doesn’t want to fall for her next door neighbor but Cull’s lure is irresistable!

Through the rhythmic splashes, I heard the slam of a screen door and my eyes snapped open to find my neighbor’s tall frame outlined in the blurry moonlight. Even at this ungodly hour his movements were lithe and concise, unhindered by the bulkiness of his hooded, gray sweatshirt and constricting, brown suspenders that hooked into a pair of baggy, orange overalls. The black beanie fit snugly on top of his head. My line of sight was cut off when he climbed into the cab of his rusted, red truck. I ducked out of the beam of his headlights to watch him retreat before heading to bed. And I laid there long after he’d gone, just thinking. About my long drive to Clallam. About the new school I was starting. How I missed my family and friends. But mostly I thought about him.

Fishin’ is a dangerous and heartbreakin’ profession where wives and loved ones spend their lives waitin’ for their men to come home…or not!

“You know that big storm we got over the weekend?”

I nodded.

“Well, I guess the worst of it was out at sea ’cause it capsized one of the crabbers.”

The school closed. I was slowly losing my mind not having anything to do but sit and wrack my brain for the name painted on the side of my neighbor’s boat. For the life of me, I couldn’t remember what it was, if he crabbed or hopefully just fished.

Every night I hadn’t woken to the squeaking of a screen door, I would look out in hopes that I just hadn’t heard it. But his truck was never there. He was never there.

“I’m sure he’s fine. I mean, wouldn’t Lea know if he wasn’t? She is his landlord.” Emily reminded me.

Emily took off later that afternoon, leaving me to watch the sunset alone on my front porch swing. But with everything that was going on in my head, I couldn’t enjoy it because what if he was dead? What if he didn’t have family to mourn him? What if he didn’t have a soul? A flower? Maybe I should have clipped a flower for him. Just in case.

I heard his truck before I saw it putter over the small hill in our shared driveway. My heart sped while his engine stalled and then restarted before he made it to the sparse gravel alongside his house.

My first instinct was to run up and give him a hug and make sure he was okay. But when he waved, I waved. And that was that. He disappeared into his house and I hadn’t seen him since.

*Phew!* Well, Cull made it back home safe and sound…this time!

Slow burn on this one, darlin’s! Take my advice and put it on alert if you’d rather wait until it’s complete!

What fics have kept you on the edge of you seats?

Happy Friday, y’all!


Night Raider


Filed under Fan Fiction Recs, Rita01tx

Random Rita ~ Friday Feature Fics!

Wet Rob Avi


Evenin’, ladies!

Before I get down to my feature fic for today, I’m excited to share some super news!

If you’ve been with me for a while, you’ll know Michaelmas54 is one of my favorite authors and, hopefully, you’ve already read CSI Seattle WA ’cause she’s gonna start postin’ the sequel startin’ tomorrow, May 2nd…*squeeee!*

Rob Attack


CSI Seattle sequel. Bella & Alice have started their own detective agency while Edward runs Masen Research. Their plan to live a quiet life collapses when the agency digs too deep into a case, Alice’s past catches up with her & Edward’s quest to find the mole in the lab means he suspects everyone. Murder, Revenge, Loyalty and Love, this story has it all. I hope you enjoy the ride x

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Mystery – Words: 4,042 – Published: 1m ago – id: 11222352

Joan informs me it is essentially complete at 33 chapters, except for the epilogue, and updates are Saturdays and Wednesdays until it’s finished. This means there’s no excuse for you WIP Wussies not to join in the fun LMAO!

Here’s the link to CSI Seattle WA for those of you who need to catch up! As a reminder of what the story is all about for the rest of us, see the summary she posted today as chapter 31 {spoilers}!


A chance discovery in the forest near Forks starts a series of events that could prove cataclysmic for everyone, not just for the people involved. A story of love and passion, murder and mystery and rated M mainly for the passionate (lemony) bits. A Twilight story that will hopefully keep you on the edge of your sofa! Recommended on Rob Attack, TLS & ADF. Complete.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Drama/Romance – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 31 – Words: 109,917 – Reviews: 1,242 – Favs: 450 – Follows: 394 – Updated: 5h ago – Published: Aug 17, 2013 – Status: Complete – id: 9605564

ps:  There be vamps!!!


Confession time on today’s feature fic…I haven’t finished readin’ it LOL! See, here’s what happened:  One day, I came across this manip…

Rob Attack

and just KNEW there had to be a fic associated with it somewhere! Oh, gawd…if there wasn’t, I’d kill for someone…anyone, to fic it LOL!

Well, it took a while but I found another one…both made by Lindz of RobmaniPorn, as it turns out!!

Rob Attack

It was when I accidently stumbled onto this banner and spied the snake tatt in the waves that I realized I’d found the Holy Grail!!!

Rob Attack

{banner by NoelleSeven}


FBI psychologist Bella Swan is being stalked by one of criminals she helped put behind bars. Forced to leave her home and lay low for a while, she meets the most gorgeous man she has ever seen. Is he who he says he is, or is he working for the stalker?

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Suspense – Edward, Bella – Chapters: 32 – Words: 291,022 – Reviews: 1,305 – Favs: 1,333 – Follows: 683 – Updated: May 4, 2011 – Published: Aug 13, 2010 – Status: Complete – id: 6233308

So far, I’d have to say I’m intrigued…

It had been almost two weeks since my first date with Edward. I had spent most all of my free time with him. We had been on several dates, but had also spent a great deal of our time hanging out on the beach, swimming in the ocean and just being together. However, out of all the things we had done, I would have to admit that my favorite thing to do with Edward was kiss. His lips were so soft and warm, molding perfectly with mine every time he kissed me. There were times when I felt like I could never get enough of him kissing me and it didn’t take long for me to realize the more time we spent together, the harder I found myself falling for him.

On our first day together after that first date, we went swimming and I got quite the surprise when Edward pulled his shirt off. As his arms rose in the air and the shirt went with them I was offered a view of one of the sexiest things I had ever seen. Not only was I afforded the sight of his bare chest, but Edward had a tattoo. This was not your everyday ordinary tattoo. Etched onto his skin was the image of a king cobra snake coiled and ready to strike. It was probably close to a foot long and maybe half that in width. The tattoo ran along the expanse of his sturdy ribcage. The body of the snake was black, but the head of the snake boasted piercing green eyes that reminded me so much of Edward’s. As his abs moved, rising and falling with each inhale and exhale of air, it almost appeared as if the snake was moving, causing its eyes to give me the sensation as if it were watching me, peering right into the very depths of my soul. I was ompletely mesmerized and had to fight the urge to reach out and run my fingers along the intricate design.

I shivered and it brought his attention to the fact I’d been staring at him. He then asked if it bothered me. I told him no and asked why he had gotten it. He had explained that when he was in the army, once he had been assigned to his Special Forces team all the guys went out and got tattoos of their unit’s call name when they completed their training. It was a tradition and an extreme bonding ritual amongst the team members and his team’s name was obviously the Cobras.

Since that day we had gone swimming many times and it affected me the same each time I watched him remove his shirt. I think he knew it too.

The writin’ is not without its flaws but we’ve all overlooked such trivialities for a rivitin’ plot, right?

I’m excited to see where this goes so I’m off to finish a few more chapters before I have to give up for the night!

What fics have you all excited???

Happy Friday, y’all!


Night Raider


Filed under Fan Fiction Recs, Rita01tx

Random Rita ~ Friday Feature Fics!

Wet Rob Avi

Evenin’ ladies!

After readin’ so much angst lately, no matter how wonderful the HEA…if we’re lucky enough to get one, my need for nerd started workin’ its way into the driver’s seat LOL!

Hell, in a pinch, even a geek will do! What’s the difference you may well ask? It can be confusin’, especially since there’s some crossover between the two, makin’ possible geeky nerds…or nerdy geeks! Just remember these two definitions from the Urban Dictionary

  • Nerd: The person you will one day call “boss”
  • Geek: The people you picked on in high school and wind up working for as an adult.

That bein’ the case, a quick “geek” search of my TBR brought these two jewels to my attention and, having’ read both back-to-back already,  I’m proud to rec them for you today!

First up…

Rob Attack


Complete – The adventures of dear, sweet, geeky Teddy and his adoring Buttercup.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Humor – Edward, Bella – Chapters: 32 – Words: 112,038 – Reviews: 1,303 – Favs: 909 – Follows: 525 – Updated: Jul 10, 2012 – Published: Jan 11, 2011 – Status: Complete – id: 6643149 x

I swear, every time the nickname Teddy is used in a fic, Edward turns out to be the sweetest man any woman could possibly want! Of course, Bella makes her claim on him pretty much instantly when she brings her laptop to his and Emmett’s computer repair shop LOL!


I had no idea what was going on, but right this moment Bella Swan was practically in my lap, and her arms were wrapped around me, and she was really kissing me.

Who was I to question this miracle?

She pulled back and gave me a look full of surprise and confusion.

She mumbled something like, “Stupid eyes…swoon…no willpower…”

She gasped and gripped my hair tight in her hands and put her tongue in my mouth. Holy cow! I’m French kissing Bella Swan! And boy, was she good at it! I ran my arms around her back and held her tightly. It was amazing to me how her body molded itself to mine perfectly.

God, this was totally the best day ever.

After that, it’s no surprise to learn Bella’s just as twitterpated LOL!


Oh, my God. He was such a dork, but so freakin’ sweet, and God, he was so good looking! Didn’t my Teddy realize how hot he was? That shy nerdiness was adorable. It made me almost crazy with desire to kiss him.

I bet my Teddy was a virgin. Oh, the fun I would have teaching that hot dork how to please me in bed. I technically was a virgin, but I had sure done everything else. Me and Teddy could be each other’s first!

Well, he is and they are but there’s so much more to Teddy than hot nerdlisciousness but you’ll have to read Mysterious Ways to learn more!

Have you fallen in love with any other Teddies???

Rob Attack


High school Edward likes a girl named Bella, But he’s not a smooth-talking kind of fella. He has his fair share of inserting foot into mouth, And inappropriate risings down south. But he’s really kind of sweet, Even if he’s sort of a geek.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Humor – Edward, Bella – Chapters: 23 – Words: 63,184 – Reviews: 3,515 – Favs: 1,467 – Follows: 1,358 – Updated: Dec 1, 2014 – Published: Aug 3, 2013 – Status: Complete – id: 9557633 

Fifteen-year-old Edward Cullen is cursed with the most dysfunctional family ever! From a doctor father uses PROPS in his detailed lecture on anal sex after his older brother, Jasper, convinces their parents he’s gay to a seven-year-old brother, Jake, who blackmails Edward, Jasper and their sister, Rosalie, to keep quiet about their love interests comin’over while the ‘rents are out for the evenin’ LOL!

Yes, life is hard for poor Edward with such epic fails as:

Mastur-Gate 2013

Edward ‘The Tampon’ Cullen

The Bubble Gum Bust


Massive Cock Boy and Hairless Wonder Freeze Frame

Dirty Talk Debacle

Texting and Sexting Trouble

The Journal Jeering

Fornication Fail, followed by Carlisle and his Colored Coded Cocks

Hole to my Donut’ Disaster

Fornication Fail Part Deux – Drunk and Disorderly

And the cherry on top:

The Humiliating Hyundai Hump

There are a few bright spots, however! Edward’s revenge on Jasper lands him in front of Carlise to suffer through the same anal sex lecture as Edward, which leads to a…


Jazz squeezed my hand harder than necessary, but I didn’t care because that handshake was proof I’d won.

We went back to watching the game – me with a huge grin plastered on my face.

There was just one question I was dying to ask – something that had weighed on my mind for some time.

“Can I ask you a question, Jasper?”

“Yeah, what?” He kept his eyes on the screen.

“What’s pegging?”

Jasper shrugged. “Fuck if I know. And I don’t want to. Let’s promise to never, ever Google it and find out!”

“Deal. Just one more thing – the butter part. Why can’t you use it as a lubricant? Will it make the girl fat? Like somehow get absorbed into her system or something? I don’t get it.”

“Oh my God. Are you for real?” Jasper’s hand hit his forehead. “Wait ’til the guys hear this one.”

“But…but we called a truce!” I whined.

“That was before you were a clueless idiot.”

I should have known it would be short-lived. Oh well, the satisfaction of having him experience the anal object insertion demo was totally worth it.

Oh my God, indeed! If, in the future, anyone asks you to name the funniest fic you’ve ever read, Awkwardly Yours will be at the top of the list!

So, there you have it! What fics have moved you to tears of laughter…or tears in general?

Happy Friday, y’all!


Night Raider


Filed under Fan Fiction Recs, Rita01tx

Random Rita ~ Friday Feature Fics!

Wet Rob Avi

Evenin’ ladies!

Who wants to see what a FIVE STAR Rita rec’d fic looks like?

A show of hands will do LOL!

For those of you who have never read anything by Psyche001, you’re in for the ride of your life!

These two fics, especially, are worlds different from anything you’ve read before or will again! Well, until she coughs up Part 3 – Fire and Brimstone {and I can be veeery patient for this one}!!!

Rob Attack


From within the night’s secret shadows,a beautiful winged creature falls for a human girl.She is forbidden fruit in his world but still,he crosses the line to save her life.What happens when their worlds collide & she discovers his horrible fate? AU/M/BXE

Rated: Fiction M – English – Hurt/Comfort/Angst – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 22 – Words: 195,648 – Reviews: 1,417 – Favs: 1,345 – Follows: 490 – Updated: Aug 23, 2010 – Published: Dec 9, 2009 – Status: Complete – id: 5569026

Against all odds, Bella is pulled alive from a submerged car but by who…or what?

I knew I wasn’t crazy and I knew he was real. I had seen his outline, and I had heard his voice. And I was sure I saw something too much like wings for it to be just an illusion.

Thus begins her fascination with mythical creatures of the winged variety which leads to the discovery of a hidden tower with eight Gargoyles guarding the top!

Despite his snarl, his face was softer than the others. He was not nearly as menacing or angry looking. He simply looked…uncomfortable. His front legs were held in the air as if he was about to leap and his wings were noticeably larger than the rest. They were wider in span, held higher and longer. I had to tip toe to reach them.

“Beautiful lion,” I whispered, as I stroked his cool stone surface.

“Eight,” I said into the recorder. “This one faces south and he’s a lion. His wings are beautiful, so big and powerful looking, and I like his face. He’s snarly, but his eyes are gentle. Without even seeing the others properly yet, he’s already my favorite.”

I tip-toed again and was able to reach his jaw. I passed my finger tips along it and even dared to touch his bared teeth, marvelling at how real they felt. His dormant strength shot through my fingers and stilled me for a few moments, holding me in place so that I could stare at him in wonder. I lowered myself onto my heels and ran my hand over his mane, down his neck and over his chest. His sculptured body was hard and muscular and cool to the touch. It was the closest I’d ever get to an actual lion and by the size of him alone I knew I’d never try.

I raised my camera from around my neck then and took a few pictures of him.

“I’ll be back,” I said.

What she doesn’t realize is that Edward is fully aware of her presence and her touch!!!

While the others hissed and cursed by the touch of her fingers, I inclined toward it. She left a burning trail from the warmth of her skin from my face to my feet. I had not felt her touch before that day. The last I knew of her warmth was the night of the accident when I was bold enough to press my lips on hers. This affection from her however, was unexpected. Even more unexpected was the way my spirit reacted to it, even in my stone form. It awakened me. The frustration of being trapped within my stone walls was never more aggravating. She didn’t know what she did to me with her hands that day and the fond inflection in her voice when she whispered melted the hardest parts in me. But in spite of all that was good about it, a part of me resisted for  her own safety.

This is an epic love story that shakes the very heavens! Are you tempted to know more? Click the link!!!

Rob Attack


Sequel to Set in Stone:She single handedly divided the Legion.Now she stands between the army which was created to destroy her & the side who will fight to save her. The battle was won when Aro decided to let Edward live, but who will win the war? BxE/AU

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Angst – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 25 – Words: 157,415 – Reviews: 1,499 – Favs: 705 – Follows: 497 – Updated: May 22, 2011 – Published: Aug 25, 2010 – Status: Complete – id: 6269044

At the end of Set in Stone, Edward and Bella are forced to part with Edward facing certain death for his part in the celestial war. But never fear!

“I do not want life if it doesn’t include Bella, Aro. I have made that clear.
Unless the rules of the Legion have changed, which I doubt, living still means having to stay away from her. I won’t be able to do that. I won’t even try.”

“You won’t have to,” he said, “if you are human.”

Ah ha! However, there’s a catch…well, there’s always a catch, isn’t there?

Yes, I wanted to be with Bella. But going back without memory meant going back to a stranger. It would never be the same again. Not for me, and not for her. I would be making a decision for her without her having any input. By choosing to accept this I  would be putting a massive burden on her, and possibly worsening the situation.


All this of course, was assuming Aro even allowed her to keep her memory in the first place. According to the rule, humans weren’t supposed to know. If Aro chose to take Bella’s memory too, the possibility of our love rekindling was even smaller. We would forget each other.

I sighed heavily and let my head hang.


Oh, dear! What WILL he do? Click the link and find out!!!

Happy Friday, y’all!


Night Raider


Filed under Fan Fiction Recs, Rita01tx

Random Rita ~ Thursday Teaser!

Wet Rob Avi

If you haven’t heard the news yet, I’m here to tell you…


Yup! You heard right! The widely acclaimed author of Wild Child and Where Roads Converge strikes again!

Stay tuned!!!

Rob Attack

The House stands in dreadful silence, watching, waiting,biding its time.

And now, finally, that time has come…

OMG! I can hardly wait *nail bitin’ muppet flails!*

See ya’ll tomorrow!


Night Raider


Filed under Fan Fiction Recs, Rita01tx

Random Rita ~ Friday Feature Fics!

Wet Rob Avi

Evenin, ladies!

Well, if any of you were followin’ the comments last week, you’d know me ‘n Kay were gonna tackle Wisp together!

Don’t know how far she got but I read all the way through to the end in a couple of days, it was that good LOL!

Now, ever since readin’ Wide Awake by AngstGoddess003 in the early, early days after discoverin’ fanfiction, I’ve been drawn to such stories. Today, I found myself wonderin’ WHY and I’d have to say it’s about the triumph of good vs evil, light vs darkness, love vs hate…happiness risin’ from the ashes of tragedy like a phoenix!

Even so, I’d like to think I don’t have my head stuck in the sand! I’d like to think that if I EVER caught a whiff of a child in my vicinity bein’ abused in any way, I’d open my damn mouth about it!

WARNING: These stories contains dark themes such as abuse and violence. They deal with the aftermath of child abuse so consider carefully before you read them. There will be NO graphic descriptions of the abuse, but implications will be made. The focus is mainly on emotions because that’s what it’s all about in the end.

{adapted from Dooba’s intro}

Rob Attack {Banner by Ysar}


Edward wins more than he bargained for at what was supposed to be a friendly poker game. AH. Ysar made me my banner!

Rated: Fiction M – English – Hurt/Comfort/Drama – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 63 – Words: 325,303 – Reviews: 13,725 – Favs: 5,292 – Follows: 6,727 – Updated: Nov 21, 2014 – Published: Apr 23, 2012 – Status: Complete – id: 8051177

“My Pet.” Wisp glanced at the cat asleep at the foot of the bed.

 “Yes. Pet is yours, and no one is going to take her away from you, okay? We know she means a lot to you.”

Her hands lifted slowly, and he could see the faint tremble of her tired, malnourished body. He held very still, Wisp’s face intent as her hands softly cupped his face. She held him, her palms cool against his cheeks as her dark eyes traveled over his features. She’d never looked at him like this before, with such fierce attention, a delicate little line appearing between her eyebrows as she stared. Her thumbs moved, stroking his skin, slow and gentle. “Edward,” she breathed.

Careful not to dislodge her hands, he nodded. 

“Good Edward. Pretty Edward.” 

One side of his mouth managed to lift. “If you say so.” 

“My Edward?” 

He exhaled slowly. She was hesitant, unsure, her lower lip disappearing into her mouth as she waited for his answer.

As if there were any question. He’d been hers from the minute he first touched her, helping Carlisle remove her from the back of James’ filthy pickup truck. Did she not know? How could she not know? He did his best to show her, every day. 

Edward leaned forward slightly, dropping his forehead against hers. Her breath was warm, but her skin felt cool against his. He needed to get her under some blankets soon. “Your Edward,” he agreed. He’d made the promise to her so many times, but this was the first time he thought she might actually understand. 

If you’re brave enough to read Wisp, you won’t regret is, especially coupled with the outtakes posted separately which round out the story so beautifully!


Rob Attack https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5705727/1/Loner

All Human. Edward Cullen was a loner, an outcast. He clearly hated everybody, including himself. He was not a nice person. So, why was I so drawn to him? And why did I get the crazy feeling he felt the same way?

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Hurt/Comfort – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 115 – Words: 379,793 – Reviews: 10,374 – Favs: 4,659 – Follows: 2,781 – Updated: Jul 6, 2011 – Published: Jan 31, 2010 – Status: Complete – id: 5705727

The boy, if you could call him that, was absolutely stunning; his skin was pale and his eyes the most beautiful shade of green. He had high cheekbones, a strong jawline, a perfectly straight nose, and full lips that just seemed to scream ‘kiss me’. His bronze colored hair was messy, and I found myself wondering what it would feel like to run my fingers through it.

“Watch where you’re going, bitch.”

With that, he pushed his way past me and I was left to stare after him with my mouth wide open. Okay, what had just happened?

Not the most auspicious beginnin’, is it? However, it’s not long before Edward discovers Bella can be trusted with his heart!

He just shook his head, letting out a defeated sigh. That was when I got hit by a sudden impulse, and held out my hand, just like I had done when we were at the meadow. “If you take my hand…” My voice cracked, and I started over, “If you take my hand, I promise not to let go.”

He just kept looking at me, doubt still evident on his face, and I sighed. “I mean, of course I’ll have to go home eventually, or Charlie will most likely send out a search party, but the point I’m trying to make is…” My voice trailed off as Edward reached out his hand – not slowly and hesitantly, like earlier at the meadow, but in a quick, jerky motion, like he was forcing himself to act fast, before he would lose his courage.

I nearly wept when his hand finally grasped mine, tightly, like he was drowning and I was his life line. And I realized that – in that moment, to Edward – it was exactly what I was.

“I won’t let go,” I assured him again, and then I fell silent, because words suddenly seemed unnecessary. Instead I pulled his hand down in my lap, holding it gently between mine, like I had wanted to do for so long but never actually dared.

“Promise?” he whispered hoarsely, and my eyes immediately snapped open.

At first, I didn’t understand what he was asking, because all I could think about was the sensation of his fingers in my hair. Then it all came back to me, and I nodded, eagerly. “I promise,” I breathed, giving his hand a soft squeeze. “You’re stuck with me now.”

I glanced at him, my fingers absently tracing circles at the back of his hand. He still looked really tired, but somehow, my touch suddenly seemed to have a calming effect on him. The irony wasn’t lost on me, seeing how it was only days ago that he had shied away in terror.

Needless to say, Loner has been high on my favorites list for as long as I’ve had my TBR LOL!

Rob Attack


Rob Attack  {banner by DivineInspiration}


Bella Swan has survived a living hell, twice. She no longer speaks. Nobody ever listened. The Cullen family take her into their care. Bella fights to leave her past behind, but will she be able to let love in? AH M-rated for violence, content, language Rated: Fiction M – English – Hurt/Comfort – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 83 – Words: 606,410 – Reviews: 15,082 – Favs: 6,053 – Follows: 6,579 – Updated: Aug 17 – Published: Sep 27, 2010 – id: 6356034

This is a long passage but it’s one of my favorites because it shows how fiercely protective each member of the Cullen family is towards Bella!

In my head, I’m screaming, but even the mental scream is cut short because I shut down completely, going limp and falling down to the ground with Mike still holding me in this impossible position. 

“That’s right, just relax now,” he says. 

We’re on the floor, and his legs come around mine, but I don’t feel it anymore. I’m far away, feeling as if I am looking down at the scene from above. Mike keeps on holding me, using way too much force, putting strain on my neck. It reminds me of the last night with Stefan and I pull back further, retreat deeper into my mind. 

In that moment, the door of the classroom bursts open with a loud bang. 

“Michael! What the fuck!” Edward roars. Quick footsteps come near and I’m pushed forward and back, and then Mike’s grip is gone from me and I am alone. 

“I was helping her, you idiot!” Mike shouts. 

Are they fighting? Edward is shouting at him. “Are you out of your goddamn mind?” 

Not really hearing anything, I curl up in a tight ball, my eyes unable to close. I can see the dust on the floor and the wall of the room, and then Alice’s face as she lies down in front of me, looking into my eyes. 

She’s crying. 

I don’t really register it. 

“Shit, what happened?” It’s Emmett’s voice. 

Mike,” Edward says by way of explanation. 

More sounds of struggle. “You made her panic like that? Shall I make you panic like that?” Emmett’s voice is dark, protective. Angry. I can’t move. I want to see, to protect myself, but I can’t move. 

“No, man. Let go of me,” Mike says. 

“No,” Emmett growls. “You’re not getting away with this. We’ve warned you away, Bella warned you away. This is assault, and you’re going to pay.” 

“I called mom.” Rosalie. “She’s on her way. Fuck off, there’s nothing to see here. Yes, you heard me. Leave. 

Are there students? Oh, no. 

“Jasper, can you go out and wait for mom?” 

“Somebody kindly explain what happened here.” Principal Greene. 

Too many voices. I shut down further. I can’t do it anymore. 

“Hang in there, Bella,” Alice says softly. “It’ll be all right.” 

Voices blur together until it’s one chaos of sounds I can no longer make any sense of. The floor is cool, the cold creeping through my clothes and into my bones. Yet I can’t move. 

“Bella?” Edward. “Bella, can you hear me? Can you give me any sign you can hear me?” 

“She’s not reacting, Edward.” Alice is still lying in front of me, trying to look into my eyes. My vision is blurry now. I haven’t blinked in such a long time I can’t see much anymore. “Bella, can you get up?” 


“Can you lift her?” That’s Esme. Oh Esme, I’m so sorry… 

“I don’t know. She’s really not responding.” 

“I think she can hear us,” Alice says softly. “Bella? Everybody is gone now. We’re going to take you home, okay?” 


Movement, behind me. I can’t see. I’m scared. 

Please don’t hurt me. 

Edward’s voice, closer by now. “I’m sorry, Bella. I’m going to lift you now. I’m sorry,” he says again. His voice sounds so tight. 

A hand under my shoulders, an arm under my knees. 

“Don’t be afraid, it’s just me,” Edward says softly. “Here we go, one, two…” On three I leave the ground. 

I’m so scared, but there’s nothing I can do. I am locked up in my own mind. 

Edward holds me against his chest, leaning back a bit for balance. My head rolls with the shift in gravity and comes to rest against his shoulder. 

I know this scent. 

My arm dangles in nothingness. 

“I have you,” Edward says quietly. “I won’t let you fall, Bella. We’ll take you home now, okay? I’ll bring you to the car.”

Edward steps out into the deserted hallway. I can only see ceiling, partly obscured by Edward’s chest and arm. But the atmosphere in the hall is different, open. Fear overwhelms me and my hand clenches into a fist involuntarily, grasping Edward’s sweater tightly in my hand.

 “Hold on to me,” he whispers so softly I’m sure only I can hear. “I won’t let you down, Bella. I won’t leave.”


Even though these are fictional stories, they could very well be based on RL cases and I’m so glad there are good people puttin’ themselves out there to rescue and care for kids like these!

What stories kept you glued to you screens this week?

Happy Friday, y’all!


Night Raider


Filed under Fan Fiction Recs, Rita01tx

Random Rita ~ Friday Feature Fics!

Wet Rob Avi

Evenin’, ladies!

Friday Featured Author woulda been a better title for today’s post LOL!

My introduction to Bower-of-Bliss came by way of Clairebamboozle waaay back in December 2012 tellin’ me all about this super fun fic she’d come across called Drowning, not waving, which turned out to be written by one of our Aussie sisters!

Little did I know just how addicted I was gonna get to BoB’s fics!

Rob Attack


30 year old Bella Swan is the swimming instructor who teaches the Sunday morning daddy and baby classes.  Although he’s a forbidden man, her attraction to Edward Cullen, the newest daddy to join the Waterbabes group, is instantaneous. Can Bella drown her libido and maintain her professionalism? B x E x H2O equals slippery when wet. All Human. Minimal angst. Complete.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Humor/Romance – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 154 – Words: 269,073 – Reviews: 9,352 – Favs: 3,176 – Follows: 3,525 – Updated: Sep 30, 2013 – Published: Sep 16, 2011 – Status: Complete – id: 7385794

Okay, I hear you groanin’, “Oh, no! Not another Daddyward fic!” but trust me…it’s all a misunderstandin’!

Edward is the last to get out, and as he passes Milly to me, I get a much closer look at the tattoo on his bicep. It is in the shape of a black crusader shield. In the center is a white, downward pointing sword. A third of the way down the length of the blade, what I had previously thought were wings, turn out to be light-blue flames. Below the flames, inked in black across the length of a mid-blue cloth banner, is a motto. It appears to be written in Latin.

Qui audet adipiscitur.

The whole emblem is detailed in black and outlined in red ink.

Oh, did I forget to mention we have an ex-SAS Tattward on our hands? He rides a motorcycle, he’s a helicopter pilot AND he owns a Corsair 37-foot Bluewater Cruiser, as well!

Oh, yeah!!!

What with friends, family and herself cockblockin’ at every turn, it takes a while for Edward and Bella to finally get it on…and when they do, AND WHEN THEY DOOOO!?!

Well, you’ll just have to read to find out but you won’t be disappointed!

Rob Attack


More recently, I’d been completely caught up in BoB’s current WIP, Rescue to Release, when a plot bunny bit her and she had to take a side trip to feed the beast LOL!

Honestly, I have NO IDEA what anyone finds so fascinatin’ about the sport of cricket….sorry, just no! Guess you have to be born to it!?!

However, knowin’ BoB’s wicked sense of humor by now, I dived in and enjoyed the hell out of It’s Just Not Cricket!

Rob Attack

{banner by FallingSnow Winter}


From Wikipedia – Cricket is a unique game where in addition to the laws, the players must abide by the Spirit of the Game. The standard of sportsmanship has historically been considered so high that the phrase “it’s just not cricket” was coined in the 19th Century to describe unfair or underhanded behaviour in any walk of life.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Humor/Romance – Bella, Edward, James – Chapters: 6 – Words: 27,620 – Reviews: 182 – Favs: 102 – Follows: 168 – Updated: Mar 3 – Published: Feb 6 – Status: Complete – id: 11025321

In this story, Edward is a registered nurse specializin’ in anesthetics. He’ll do anything not to have to assist Dr. Doolan LOL!

The last person to enter the operating room is James Doolan, the on-call Orthopaedic Registrar for tonight, and I have to suppress the urge to groan out loud. Doctor Doolan (AKA Doctor Douchebag) is the most conceited son-of-a-bitch I’ve come across. I first met him years ago when he was an intern at the kid’s hospital. He wasn’t too bad back then, but as he has advanced through the roles of Resident Medical Officer, and then Registrar, his ego has expanded accordingly.

Through hilariously gross, extenuatin’ circumstances, Edward has to assume the persona of ‘Smash,’ the Adelaide Strikers mascot and superhero, cartoon-type character for the T-20 Big Bash game between the Adelaide Strikers and Sydney Thunder.

To give you an idea what Edward’s performance might look like:

Durin’ a pause due to rain, he accidently on purpose abducts said Doctor Dochebag’s girlfriend!

Isabella smiles at the {KissCam}camera, but James doesn’t seem to notice what is going on. He appears to be looking at something on his phone. She looks at James and says something, but he just shakes his head. She looks back at the camera, smiles sweetly and then waves, but the bucketheads can smell the blood in the water and they boo loudly.

What the fuck is James’ problem?

He’s sitting next to his hot, young girlfriend and it seems he can’t even be bothered to give her the time of day, let alone a kiss for the camera. What a fucking moron! If she were my girl, everyone in this stadium would know, undeniably, my feelings for her. Hell! Everyone watching the telecast throughout Australia would know she was mine.

Without a conscious thought on my part, I find myself running down towards the front row. On reaching her seat, I bend down and scoop her up into my arms. Then I turn and start running back up the aisle towards the stadium complex. Compared to me, Isabella is a tiny little thing and seems to weigh nothing at all. She wraps her arms around my neck, and I laugh when I hear her shrieking and giggling hysterically. A loud roar explodes from the crowd just as I reach the top of the aisle. I have no idea of what is going on behind me, but I don’t take the time to pause, just in case James is chasing after me having realised that I’ve just taken his girl.

Edward Masen is a lover, not a fighter.

Shamwows are highly recommended while readin’ this short but immensely sweet and funny fic LMAO!

Rob Attack


Finally, I’m reccin’ another WIP but what a fabulous WIP it is *swoon!*

Rob Attack


“As a cinematographer, I’ve given some thoughts to how I might die, but never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d die of dehydration, cut up and bleeding while perched in a tree in the middle of the Australian outback. As you can see, Sam is down below. He’s an insane and perpetually randy, 7-foot tall, alpha-male kangaroo, and he belongs to that equally mental bloke, Cullen.”

Rated: Fiction M – English – Adventure/Romance – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 11 – Words: 86,071 – Reviews: 514 – Favs: 295 – Follows: 534 – Updated: 13h ago – Published: Mar 30, 2014 – id: 10228577

“Whoa! Who’s that guy?”

I look back at the screen and see Cullen’s green-eyed gaze staring back at me. “Oh, that’s Cullen, also known as Boomer… And God, apparently,” I add with a giggle when I think about his When Harry Met Sally impersonation when we were in the tent.

She lets out a wolf whistle. “He’s dishy,” she says with a look of admiration at the screen.

Angela sits down and grabs the cordless phone from its charging cradle. She dials the number for the reception desk to let Rose know what’s going on, and within a minute, Rose races through the door.

“Hope you haven’t started without me,” she says, gasping for breath.

“You can take it from here, Bella,” Stefan says as he stands up from the high-backed, leather chair. “I don’t want to be here listening to these two while they pant like horny teenagers and cream their knickers.”

The first image that comes on the screen is of a shirtless Cullen standing in Esme’s kitchen. He’s preparing a bottle of formula with one hand, while cradling the little joey, Edward, against his body with the other.

I begin to read out the narration that Stefan and I have come up with so far.

“In the heart of outback Australia, in a place not far from Alice Springs, an ordinary man is living an extraordinary life…”

While I absolutely adored Drowning, not waving and It’s Just Not Cricket, my heart belongs to Boomer…as will yours *SWOON!*

Rob Attack

{banner by FallingSnow Winter}

A rather long post, this time, but I blame all the pretty banners I couldn’t leave behind LOL!

Now that I’ve showed you mine…you show me yours!

Happy Friday, y’all!


Night Raider


Filed under Fan Fiction Recs, Rita01tx

Random Rita ~ Friday Feature Fics!

Wet Rob Avi

Evenin’ ladies!

As you may {or may not} know, Jaxon22 has pulled all of her fics in preparation of publishin’ A Pound of Flesh in June of 2015!

While I am extremely happy for her, I deeply mourn the loss of Dancing in the Dark, which was still a WIP when she pulled it *sigh!*

It was one of my favorite Daddywards…I mean, doesn’t this summary just make you wanna scream like a fangirl??

“You can’t start a fire, you can’t start a fire without a spark. This gun’s for hire even if we’re just dancing in the dark.” Immersed in a world of dance, drink, drugs, and women, Edward Cullen is the ultimate bachelor. Until he receives a late night phone call that changes everything.

Rob Attack

Edward was a manwhore…a Magic Mike kinda stripper, and imaginin’ his hair, make-up and outfits {or lack thereof} was a huge turn-on, as well as how he handled sudden and totally unexpected fatherhood LOL!

Well, I read the WIP again {many times} and gnashed my teeth, wept and wailed until I remembered a similar summary and rushed to my TBR for a thorough search!

Yes! *fist pump!* 

Rob Attack

{banner via myffrecs.tumblr.com}


When man-whore, foul-mouthed Edward’s life takes an unexpected turn, he’s left with a baby to raise. With the help of a friendly neighbor, he learns sometimes the unexpected could be the best thing that’s ever happened. All Human

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Humor – Edward, Bella – Chapters: 38 – Words: 142,732 – Reviews: 6,279 – Favs: 5,861 – Follows: 4,722 – Updated: Dec 2, 2013 – Published: Nov 4, 2011 – Status: Complete – id: 7520210

Chicks had a thing for doctors; it wasn’t a secret. I learned that fact my third year in med school. The scrubs, lab coat, fuck, the stethoscope… it all just beckoned them. They flocked to me, and dear God, I loved it. Like her, the girl under me. She wanted me for my profession. Her first words were, and I’m fucking quoting here: “Let’s play doctor”. Hell yeah, baby. We’ll play doctor. We’ll play doctor all fucking night.

It didn’t take long for me to blow my load. It felt fucking amazing. I passed out next to the chick, praying she’d be gone by the time I woke up. Thankfully, I was right. I didn’t see her again….

Famous last words LMAO! Yeah, he might not be a stripper but our Doctorward IS a First Class manwhore!

I made my way up to my apartment. As I unlocked the door, New Girl’s door opened, and she bolted out.

“Oh, good! You’re home. You uh… had a visitor, and since I didn’t want her waiting in the hall, I invited her in,” she said. “Please, don’t be mad.”

I cocked my head. “Visitor? Why would I be mad?”

“I didn’t know what she wanted, but I think you’ll be happy,” she said. “Maybe.”

A woman I vaguely recognized came waltzing out of New Girl’s apartment. I couldn’t quite place her, but I knew her somehow. She smiled, switching the car seat she was carrying to the other hand.

Chick that wanted to play doctor. “Yeah, sorry. What…what do you need?” I said, looking at the car seat with a blanket over it.

Please, fuck no.

“I have great news.” Somehow, I seriously doubted I’d find it that great. “You’re a daddy!”

What I love most about this fic are the beautifully crafted relationships between each and every character! Especially Edward’s relationship with baby Sofia, or Little One as he incessantly calls her {the only thing I found a tiny bit annoyin’} and Bella, or New Girl…the name he gave her before he really got to know her!

Rob Attack

{banner by IllicitWriter}

Know what else I love about this fic? There’s a SEQUEL!!!

Rob Attack

{banner by IllicitWriter}


Fatherhood sequel. Five year old Sofia is starting school and Edward can’t help but feel his baby is growing up too fast. While he and Bella try to juggle a hyper little girl, careers, and their relationship, they find out their lives are about to change drastically once more. All Human.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Humor – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 17 – Words: 65,594 – Reviews: 2,401 – Favs: 2,735 – Follows: 3,292 – Updated: Feb 1, 2014 – Published: Nov 3, 2012 – Status: Complete – id: 8669311

And here they go again LMAO!

“You’re…pregnant.” I smiled, laying my hand against hers. “With my baby.”

She laughed. “Of course it’s yours! Who else’s would it be?”

I pulled her into my arms and pressed my lips to hers. Our tongues moved together as my hand slid under her shirt and laid against her flat stomach. In just a few short months, I’d feel a baby move. My baby. I fucking hated that I didn’t get that with Little One, so I was already planning on making the most out of this. Bella, my wife, was having my baby. Little One would be a big sister, and I’d be a dad again. Maybe I wouldn’t be so freaked out over every little thing this time. Who the hell was I kidding? Yes, I would.

“I love you so much,” I said, pressing my forehead to hers. “Bella, I’ll never be able to thank you enough for loving me —for trusting me to be the man you thought I could be. We’re going to be parents again. Holy shit.”

She pecked my lips softly. “If this baby’s first word is a curse, I’m divorcing you.”

I laughed, picking her up off of the couch. “Sure, Nibbles, sure.”

I carried her upstairs, trying to be quiet so we wouldn’t wake Sofia. The kid had just become more of a cockblocker as she got older, so I didn’t get as many chances as I wanted to make love to my wife.

Awwww! From beginnin’ to end, I found these fics immensely entertainin’ and highly recommendable…hey, a big word LOL! Oh, and did I mention they are both COMPLETE?

So, Daddyward has kept me busy this week! Who did you enjoy???

Happy Friday, y’all!


Night Raider


Filed under Fan Fiction Recs, Rita01tx