The Twilight Before Robmas

So it’s not quite the twilight before Robmas but you won’t mind, right? When you have an idea you have to Carpe Diem, even 3 days early!

Twas the Twilight before Robmas, when all through the RA mansion,
Not a h00r was stirring, only their passions.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Robert soon would be there.
The angelz were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of Robporn danced in their heads.
And RF in her pj’s and I in my LB cap
Had just settled down for a short little cat nap.

Just a little less creepy!

When on top of the penthouse there arose such a clatter
We sprang from the suite to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

Hey, if Rob was outside my window I'd be jumping out too!

 The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
Gave the lustre of mid-day to objects below.
When, what next I saw would for sure seal my fate,
His Holy Hotness, and eight of his mates.

Well, most of them are here

 With a sexy Brit actor, a wonky heart throb,
I knew in a moment it must be Saint Rob.
More rapid than fangirls, the Britpack they came,
And he whistled, and shouted and called them by name.

Lips perfect for whistling (among other things)

  Now TomStu! Now A. Garf!  Now Johnny and Lee!
On Samuel! On Marcus! On Bear and Bobby!
To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!
And then in a twinkling we heard on the RA roof,
The prancing and dancing of each little foot.
As I drew in my head and was turning around,
Down the chimney Saint Robert came with his hound.
He was dressed like a hobo, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with dumpster soot.
A bundle of Twi toys, he had flung on his back
And he looked like he was homeless, just opening his pack.
 His eyes-how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
But the beard on his chin was just, HELL NO!
 The stump of a cigarette he held tight in his teeth,
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a strong face and a happy trail belly,
That gets us all going, like a bowlful of jelly!

Smokin Hawt!

 He was adorkable and filter-less, a right giggly old elf,
And I gaped when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A wink of his eye and a smirk of his lips,
Soon made me think, I sure hope he strips!

GAH!!! That smile!

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings, then turned with a smirk.
And giving his knuckles a jolly good crack,
He thanked us for supporting him through Rob Attack!

He sprang to our bed while  his team gave a whistle,
 But he sent them away, like the down of a thistle.
Then we  heard him exclaim, ‘ere they drove out of sight,
“Happy Robmas to all, I’m staying with my girls tonight!”



Filed under Happy Robmas, Rob Pattinson, Rob's Mates

23 responses to “The Twilight Before Robmas

  1. rita01tx

    Bwahahahahaha!!! Excellent RFM darlin’! Especially the last lines where Rob wants to say with his girls…that’s US! Woot woot!!

  2. O-M-G!!!
    I LOVE YOU RFM!!!!!!!!!!!!

  3. simplydazzled1

    Ahhhh so lovely. Cheers for making the Rob drought so much better.

    it’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas lalalalalaaa

  4. dazzledbyrp

    Oh RFM!!!!!!! This is SO AWESOME! I had to go back and read it again.

    “A wink of his eye and a smirk of his lips,
    Soon made me think, I sure hope he strips!”

    BWAAA HAAA HAAA! There are just no words to describe the fabulousness of this post! Great job!

  5. hahahaha! absolutely loved it. best line was definitely ‘But the beard on his chin was just, HELL NO!’

  6. What is with the RobDrought? Where is he?

    • rita01tx

      Last sighting of Rob was at LAX (arriving) on Nov. 29th. KStew arrived LAX on Dec. 13th…not a peep since. I think SWATH has wrapped and neither of them has anything scheduled anytime soon.

      On another note, Bel Ami will have a special “Ladies at the Movies” viewing in Brussels (Belgium) on Jan. 3 & 4, with national release (still in Belgium) on Jan. 31st. Don’t know if Rob will show up for that or not.

  7. Brilliant, just brilliant and perfect!

  8. jolori54

    wow I don’t even know what to say, that was just wonderful wording there very creative!!!! thanks for starting my day off with smiles and laughter!

  9. Very funny , you might have a career in writing ahead of you LOL.

  10. newyorkkisses

    Cared, I read your post on my phone on Wednesday and couldn’t leave a comment then, but I just had to come back now that I’m on my laptop and tell you that this made my day! This poem is hilarious and excellently written! How did you come up with all those lines? I totally lack the creativity to attempt something like this, lol. Loved it and laughed out loud many times. So thank you, bb 🙂

    • newyorkkisses

      GAH! Sorry Mate, I meant to write this to you of course! I was just reading Cared’s FicFriday Recs and got the names mixed up, so thank you for this awesome post, bb! 🙂

      • No worries, hun! I kind of figured that’s what happened! Thanks for all the kind words. It was fun to think of it all! But it did make me realize how gosh darn long this poem really is! (and no one even noticed I left out a verse! hehe)

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