FanFiction Fridays – Guest Review Week for May 18/12

Happy Friday my lovelies, and a grand one it is, sunny and warm here! *sigh* Today I am featuring a special Guest Review Week post for you to enjoy, written by one of my dearest FanFiction friends, Bornonhalloween, the talented author of  Once Upon A Desire and its sequel,  Kinkily Ever After, to name just a few. She is joining me this week with a rec of her own, a story that’s been owning her that she recommended to me, so I asked, since she is so enthralled with the exceptional writing of this author and with the content of the story itself, if she would like to write her own review for a FFF, and she graciously agreed. I am thrilled to have her, so please welcome BOH. Also, Please remember that Rob Attack is an 18+ site, therefore most fics rec’d on FFF contain Adult Content!

Content Warning: Please Note this story is an E/B/J polyslash.

Guest review written by Bornonhalloween:

Snow Job by myedwardseyesarebrown

*banner made by Evilnat*

Summary for  Snow Job: “Edward Cullen is stuck in a loveless marriage, and fighting off urges he feels are unnatural. What will happen when his mountain lodge is invaded by a group of robbers, including brooding Jasper and vulnerable Bella? E/B/J polyslash thriller.

Twilight – Rated: M – English – Crime/Romance – Chapters: 12 – Words: 37,165 – Reviews: 158 – Updated: 5-15-12 – Published: 2-29-12 – Edward & Bella”

From the opening dream of the prologue, you know you’re in the hands of a skilled writer—a keen observer of human behavior who can communicate those ideas with perfect clarity. It makes sense that Myedwardseyesarebrown (aka “Brown”) can so vividly draw weaponry that he can actually make me hot and bothered by triggers and MilSpec (and I’m a peace-loving pumpkin)—he’s a real live military journalist. But it’s Brown’s uncanny talent for coloring his characters that makes the story come vividly alive.

The title of this heart-pounding adventure refers both to the mounting blizzard that provides the backdrop of gloom and intensity for the story, as well as the complicated dynamics of a heist gone terribly wrong (oops, spoiler alert). We have no idea what will transpire or which of the elegantly drawn characters will be left standing when the storm clears, but we quickly trust we’ll hear a story well told.

First, we meet an unusual Edward; far from living a charmed life or oozing self-confidence, this one is on the run from both the mob and the law, and happens to be married to a heinous bitch you’ll love to hate. Gabrielle is far from pleased with her husband for a number of reasons, not the least of which is the secret he’s no longer keeping…

Be a man, Edward, he griped at himself, ashamed that he was such a weakling…Maybe that was why Gabrielle had stopped making love to him, because she had a hard time feeling romantic with a man who was about five seconds from crying all the time. Or maybe it was because of the other thing, he thought, feeling his face flush even in the cold room. A worm of guilt tunneled through his gut as he remembered his morning dreams.

“His morning dreams” consist of a visit from a pair of intruders: a red-headed woman, “her breasts full and round, her nipples stiff from the cold air and from the excitement”; and a man, “tanned, dark-eyed, his muscles firm, his abdomen rippling and drawing the eye downward, toward the most magnificent cock [Edward]’s ever seen at close range.” Which brings us to “the other thing”:

He’d been fourteen when he’d noticed that watching the guys on the wrestling team, the way they moved, touching, skin on skin, was as exciting as watching the cheerleaders. At first, he’d tried not to think about it, but as he’d gotten older, there’d been more and more moments where he’d caught himself looking at his friends and wondering what it would be like, just once, to feel their hands and lips pleasing him, to be curled around them, to be told that he was beautiful, attractive, to be loved by someone strong who could keep him safe when he was so frightened all the time.

Poor Edward. Just when Gab seems to have a charitable moment and it looks like Edward might get lucky after all: She was drawing him out, sucking him so deep into her mouth, then pinching him off, preventing him from coming. It was a tease, but it was so good he felt like he’d die when she finally let him finish. Um…no—

With a loud bang, the back kitchen door slammed open, catching the two of them in the moment and ending it very abruptly. No matter how much Edward Cullen wanted to flood his wife’s mouth with his seed, the sight of two heavily armed men barging into the lodge waving guns ended any pretense of sexual interest. As he froze in terror, some small part of Edward was screaming in rage at the interruption of the first sex he’d had in months.

And people call ME a cock tease? HA!

Meanwhile, Bella is locked in her own personal prison, aka upper Washington, where “it was cold and wet, and the sun only shined on alternate Thursdays, and then it was on the installment plan.” Her ramshackle home and everything in it provide a perfect metaphor for her pathetic life:

She closed the front door, trying to ignore the draft coming in around the hinges, and glanced at the row of plants in the window box. Every one of them was well beyond salvation; her frequent business absences made regular care impossible. Poor things never had a chance, she realized, and the thought filled her with an uncomfortable sadness. In a way, the dead plants were much like her, sitting alone and undernourished in a cold, lonely home, waiting for someone else to bring the sun along. 

Just when she probably expects things couldn’t get any worse, she is shocked to see her little brother James:

He was bigger than she’d remembered, as if prison had grown him some, his face harder, meaner. He was wearing a faded tee-shirt and a thick winter coat, and he had a bottle of soda and a bag of chips by his hands, which were exactly the way she remembered them: broad, scarred, and threatening. He was smiling at her, obviously pleased to see her, and she felt her mind spinning through dozens of possible actions to take before she settled on sitting down at the other end of the table and smiling back.

James proceeds to tell Bella his plan to swindle five million dollars from someone “who deserves it”, convincing her to ferry the team to safety in her DeHavilland Canada Beaver (because Brown can’t just say airplane like the rest of us!) after the robbery. She agrees out of big sister guilt and because she figures a cool million could solve many of her problems. Lucky for her she does, because the most commanding, delicious, emotionally intelligent version of Jasper is also coaxed to join the team. Bella is dispatched to the airport to retrieve him, and their initial meeting is loaded with all the best kinds of tension and promise. Bella is expecting a man

… covered in the pale blue home-made ink tats of jailhouses, spider webs and crossed hammers and crowns and pitchforks indicating their inevitable prison gang affiliations. And there’d be scars, some on the outside of the body, old wounds from fights and knifings, badges of convict honor for blood spilled and bodies broken over the smallest slights. And some inside, a lot of them inside actually, the products of overbearing pride and misplaced lust and lost years, and of the shattered remnants of lives, both theirs and of those they loved.

And while she’s waiting for that guy to show up, she spots “Captain Gorgeous”:

He wasn’t all that tall, yet he managed to fill the space around him as if he owned it. He kept his black hair cut short, almost military style, grown just long enough to attempt to hide what looked like an old burn mark on the back of his neck. He didn’t have an ounce of wasted weight on him, although he wasn’t some sort of steroid improved jock. Rangy, she decided, like a cowboy. His eyes were the best part, deep brown to the point of being as black as his hair, gypsy’s eyes, matched by the tan skin which showed out from under the simple clothes he chose for himself. She allowed herself to look at him as he moved, the ripple of muscle under his shirt, the long agile fingers as he hefted a small backpack onto his shoulder. Isabella watched the play of the muscles of his thighs, as she caught a glimpse of the thick bulge in the center of his jeans.

Imagine her surprise (spoiler alert) when it turns out, that guy is actually the very one she went to pick up! This is one of my favorite scenes in the story, narrated in third-person voice from Bella’s perspective:

Isabella jumped as the dark-eyed cowboy tapped gently on the passenger side window. He waited patiently for her to reach across to roll down the window a few inches, her natural caution about strangers preventing her from just unlocking and opening the door. “Yes?” she asked, while still trying to see over his shoulder for the nasty piece of meat James would have brought into her life now.

“Swan?” said the cowboy in a soft deep voice, his eyes narrowed suspiciously. Isabella jerked in surprise, momentarily speechless from shock. He said it again, this time more forcefully.

She coughed, and then nodded, feeling unbearably stupid. He didn’t move at first, still staring at her, thinking. Finally, he squinted at her as if he could look into her soul, and motioned to the door lock. “I was told to look for a red truck and ask for Swan,” he explained.

“That’s me.”

“You don’t look like the kind of person I expected.”

Isabella laughed. “Neither do you.”

He smiled at her, and nodded. “Guess this is where you open the door so I can get out of the cold.”

Embarrassed, she leaned across again to pop the lock for him, then straightened up and gripped the steering wheel with two hands as if it were a life preserver and she a drowning woman. Well, you kind of are, Bells, she thought, remembering the way she’d been thinking of her new guest just a few moments before. She watched him drop his backpack onto the floor in front of him, settle into the seat, and look for seatbelts. When he didn’t find any, he shrugged, and looked to her again, waiting for something.

She was hyper-aware of his eyes on her, and her skin tingled in a way she hadn’t felt in a very long time, not since before Clyde’s death. “What?” she snapped, much harsher than she’d intended, a little put off by his attention.

“Usually people drive these things,” he said politely. “If you’d rather sit here for a while, I guess that would be fine.”

Oh, fuck my life, she moaned, chagrined . . . He didn’t speak, either, just sat there quietly, studying everything in sight, the traffic, the inside of the truck, her driving technique. Her.

Oh holy Moses, to be studied by this man. *whimpers* As they start to learn about each other, Jasper just gets better and better:

“…you’ve never done this before, have you?”

Isabella looked at him and frowned. “Done what before?”

“Participated in a crime.”

“I’ve done some crimes,” she said defensively, absurdly aware she wanted to impress him. “Smuggling and stuff.”

Jasper grinned. “Be glad that’s all. This life tends to destroy people.”

She was aware he was studying her again, and she felt light-headed. “You seem fine to me.”

His face darkened. “You don’t know me, Isabella.” He said her name as if it were a precious thing, and she suddenly imagined him in a different setting, meeting him across a dinner table, on a blind date, perhaps.

Trust me, Bella, this is definitely NOT a blind date. And here’s where the reality finally hits home, letting her know with certainty who is riding in her passenger seat.

He paused, thinking. “I don’t like the fact you’re involved because of the risk to you. You’re not exactly someone I consider part of the life.”

He’s worried about me? A warm tickle of pleasure at that thought travelled through her belly and into her thighs to rest between her legs like a lover’s caress.

[Reviewer pauses here to catch breath]

“What risks?” she asked, trying to keep a quiver out of her voice.

“This isn’t a heist like in a Hollywood movie, it’s a strong-arm robbery. Guns used, and violence possible.”

She looked at him, catching the concern in his eyes. “How do you know?”

He took his hand away from her, and she felt suddenly very lonely again. “Because that’s why James asked for me.”

“He needs a violent robber?”

“No.” Jasper sounded as if he was speaking from the bottom of a well, far away and absent. “He needs a killer.”

Jasper is a rich enigma, a cold-blooded murderer with a gift for reading people, a commanding presence in every scene, and yet, a man acutely sophisticated regarding the needs of his heart. I loved this scene where Jasper meets James for the first time:

Jasper studied James Swan, not liking what he saw. The man was big, a brute, and underneath a slightly stupid good-ol’-boy exterior, he could see a feral intelligence and cunning. A man to be very careful with, he knew. Swan had a large revolver on the coffee table, within easy reach, as if he expected trouble, and so far he and Jasper hadn’t exchanged more than names and a few false pleasantries. James had insisted on waiting until his friend Eric arrived, passing the time by playing solitaire and making demands of his sister. And he cheats at solitaire, Jasper thought. Definitely a man to be careful with.

After the two finish sizing up each other’s penises (metaphorically speaking, of course), James challenges Jasper one too many times, and here’s his response:

“You asked someone to find you the best hard man you could get, and they asked around and found me. If you don’t trust your source, then have your sister drive me back to the airport, and I’ll count this as a wasted trip. Otherwise, tell me the details of the job, and convince me I haven’t made a mistake and accidentally shown up at amateur night on the cell block.”

Holed up together in Bella’s dilapidated old house with the rest of the team, the B/J tensions builds as the two are acutely aware of each other’s presence at all times. And as we all know, anything can happen in the middle of the night, in the middle of a snow storm:

She . . . looked back at the lines of red following along her planned flight path. Isabella shook her head, doubtful.

“How bad?” he said, from just behind her. 

She hadn’t asked him into her room, and she was very aware he was right behind her, so close he could touch her if he wanted. And she knew that she wanted him to, wanted to feel those strong hands take control of her, to please her.

She forced herself to concentrate. “Bad,” she answered him, knowing he’d hear the details in her tone.

“You’re not sure you can fly?”

“I know I can fly,” she corrected him, not trusting herself to look at him. “I’m not sure I can land in that.”

“You’re good,” Jasper said, as if he really knew. Somehow, just from watching her, he seemed to have faith she was able to do this. “We’ll land.” He touched her shoulder, just her shoulder, and she felt how warm and firm his hand was, a small squeeze that made her feel a little dizzy. “Get some sleep, you’ll need it.”

She started to turn her cheek to rest on his hand, then froze as a thousand reasons why she shouldn’t get involved raced through her head. By the time she was able to move, he was gone, as quietly as he’d arrived, and she spent a few more minutes checking hopeless weather reports before she finally tumbled into bed just before dawn. And the second she fell asleep, she was vaguely disappointed when dream-Jasper didn’t pick up where the real one had left off.

Can’t say I blame her. Now, let’s get back to where we are in the story. You’ll recall the prologue ended with Edward’s rare spousal blowjob having been rudely interrupted by a pair of gun-toting hooligans. Can you guess who they might be? *winks* All right, our two male leads have just made each other’s acquaintance, and Bella will soon join the party, making three. THREE, as in, polyamorous possibilities of the most joyful Twific variety—Edward/Jasper/Bella in every permutation thereof, at least that’s my vote! I have had the opportunity to read some of what Brown has written, and I can promise you that the E/J slash tension is exquisite and the three main characters each lack something the other two might provide. While I cannot promise you an HEA by Disney standards, from what I’ve read, there is, at least, an awful lot of Happily Ever Afterglow.

This story is elegant and complex, Brown’s voice is compelling and new. This Jasper is up for a Wordsmith Award as we speak (if we’re speaking just after May 17, 2012) at .

Visit Myedwardseyesarebrown’s profile on, and you’ll find a wide variety of stories (including Anchors Aweigh, a love story co-authored by his talented wife) all of which share Brown’s unapologetic writing style and creative subject matter. Brown is not the same ol’ same ol’. Go and enjoy the stories and let him know you’re glad he’s shared his amazing gift with us!



Thank you to Bornonhalloween for writing this incredible review. I have started the story and I must agree, it’s wonderfully written and very intriguing!

Also, I just thought I’d mention a few additional fics that have been owning me this week, one being More by CaraNo: “Edward thinks he can stop at any time, but can he really? He just wants a little bit more, and then he will be satisfied. The things we do to get what we want…the lies we tell ourselves. Daddy kink. Olderward.

Twilight – Rated: M – English – Romance/Drama – Chapters: 9 – Words: 20,094 – Reviews: 2071 – Updated: 5-16-12 – Published: 5-2-12 – Edward & Bella”

and,  Slow Down You Crazy Child by The Little Wise Owl“Bella has grown up too fast and has a plate full of responsibilities when the handsome and established Edward Cullen walks into her life. Rated M. AH.

Twilight – Rated: M – English – Romance/Hurt/Comfort – Chapters: 13 – Words: 21,203 – Reviews: 287 – Updated: 5-15-12 – Published: 3-22-12 – Edward & Bella”

I look forward to hearing what’s been owning you this week in the FanFiction world, so please feel free to share!

Midnight Cougar



Filed under Edward A M Cullen, Fan Fiction Friday, Fan Fiction Friday Guest Review, Fan Fiction Recs, FFF Library, Twilight, Writing

27 responses to “FanFiction Fridays – Guest Review Week for May 18/12

  1. Hello MC and ladies!

    Thanks for the recs this week, and thanks so much bornonhalloween for guest reviewing today 🙂 More stories for the TBR list!

    This week I read This is Who I Am by pattyrose *complete* Edward Cullen, successful business exec/playboy/all around bad boy. Bella Swan, divorced mom/graphic artist/unwilling to trust her heart to the likes of someone like Edward again. Will she give him a chance? Does he even deserve one? I was hoping this story would measure up to pattyrose’s other story If We Ever Meet Again, which I loved. Well, it certainly did – it was a great read, I especially loved the connection between Bella’s daughter and Edward, it was lovely!

    I hope everyone is having a lovely week! AV xo

  2. Poly story? I’m so starting this after work. Thanks for this rec. Poly stories are my guilty pleasure.
    This week I was rereading Ride – steamy hot lemons.

  3. newyorkkisses

    Hi ladies!
    Thanks for these new recs, BOH and MC. And congrats to BOH on her first fic rec post here!
    Myedwardseyesarbrown’s writing sounds very good and descriptive, unfortunately Poly and Daddy kink (“More”) are just not my cup of tea, sorry bb’s. “Slow Down You Crazy Child” however is going straight to the TBR-list. 😉

    Soooo, this week I FINALLY started reading hunterhunting’s “Misapprehension of Bella Swan” and OMG, am I loving the hell out of this fic! 🙂 This might become my new favorite fic ever. And I can’t remember the last time a fic has made me laugh out loud so many times in short succession. Excellent writing and snarky Bella is awesome. Whoever made the mistake, like me, to not read this up until now, go do it!
    The Misapprehension of Bella Swan Regarding the Inferior Intellect of Hockey Players: Through incessant stalking and persistence, can Edward wear down Bella’s resistence and teach her to embrace her inner puck bunny? A ridiculous love story. AH/OCC

    It’s pulled, but you know what to do, if you’d like to read it…*whispers* e-mail… 😉

    Have a great weekend, ladies!

    • Hi NYK – I knew you would love it 🙂 I am sure I have said about 1000 times, but Hockeyward is my favourite Edward ever. He is that beautiful mix of strong, brave, sensitive, stalkerish, a tiny bit insecure and hotter than Hades. I love this Bella too, she is hilarious. Hunterhunting has a wonderful gift of creating truly epic Edwards – such a shame she doesn’t write anymore 😦

      PS: Have you got to the locker room sex yet – jeebus, I loved that part!

      • newyorkkisses

        What a perfect description of Hockeyward, that’s exactly how I see him. I agree, Hunterhunting is one talented author.
        No, I haven’t got to the locker room sex yet, but sounds like I have something to look forward to. 😉

    • eewee333

      Happy Friday NYK. Would you be so kind as to email me TMOBS? Thanks BB.

    • rita01tx

      *Gasp!* I just realized I don’t have the pdf of MOBS! How’m I sposed to read it again if I don’t have the pdf?
      NYK darlin’! You still have my emal addy, right?

  4. Thanks MC and Bornonhaloween for the recs.

    Hey NYK, I’m not surprised you loved TMOBS. What’s not to love? I read it as a WIP and at the time there were some pretty nice visuals for it *wink. Ally describes that Hockeyward very well. “Hunterhunting has a wonderful gift of creating truly epic Edwards” – errr Ally, this is the understatement of the year LOL.

    You will love This Is Who I Am too. Everything by pattyrose is a must read.

    Happy Friday Ladies and have a great weekend.

    • newyorkkisses

      Hey Cared, hmmm those visuals sound goood. 😉 I’ll have a look around online, I’m sure I can dig some of them up, lol.

    • Sus

      Does anyone know what happened to Gin (hunterhunting)? I miss her wit and wonderful stories. If she is posting elsewhere, please let us know!


    • Hehe Cared, yes that is an understatement. HH had a true talent there I loved all her Edwards – even socially inept Edward in “The iMac Fiasco”. Her Bellas are great too. But Hockeyward will always own me totally 🙂 AV x

  5. Sus

    Last week you rec’d “The Shallows,” which is a short, complete fic by Parcia. I have to say that I have NEVER cried more while reading a FF. This was one of the saddest, touching fics I’ve ever read! There is a HEA, but her ending A/N made me cry even more! I can’t recommend this little fic enough….I think I read the whole thing in less than an hour. Bring tissues!!!


    • Sus

      P.S. I ADORE Hockeyward and his Bella. I’m a huge hockey fan, and this one totally tickled me…..BTW, GO KINGS!!!!

    • Hi Sus – I am so glad you liked it – I was dubious recommending “In the Shallows” as it is quite different to the norm, but like you, I cried like a baby – it was so beautifully done – and yes, the final AN got me too 🙂 AV x

      • rita01tx

        Jusset finishedc rading In the Shallows…damn, cadnt type throuhtg he tears *sob!*
        {Quick wipe!} Stunning, beautiful, emotional ride!! The AN killed me!

        • Hey Rita! I am so glad I reviewed it now 🙂 I honestly stumbled upon ITS while searching for another story one day on It just goes to show there are little gems out there we have not discovered yet! AV xo

          • rita01tx

            Ally darlin’! Whenever I’m back home in Texas, my favorite pasttime is road running…spotting an obscure country road off to the side and saying to myself, “Hmmm, that looks like an interesting road ! Wonder where it goes!” {turn} I’ve found the most amazing drives doing that!
            Gettin’ lost on is sometimes more fun than staying on the roads most traveled LOL!!

            • nebfan51

              Good Morning Ladies – I’ve been out of town for a while and just getting caught up with everything. Really do enjoy the recs you have put out on this blog. They go straight into my TBR list. ?In looking over Slow Down You Crazy Child – I went to the author’s profile – I am unfamiliar with this author and in reading her profile it sounds like she has written other stories for FF – but only the above story appears on her site. Do you know if she has written other stories and if so what were they, and why are they not available anymore? Just curious. Thank you for all the work (hopefully it’s a labor of love) and time you put into this blog. You guys rock!!!!!

              • rita01tx

                I see what you mean, Nebfan darlin’! She had a 9 chapter WIP going called “Give a Little” that I don’t see anymore.
                Description was:
                Bella, oppressed by her family’s expectations of her, has spent her lifetime playing it safe. Edward, Hollywood actor, has never been afraid of taking a risk. This is a story of what happens when two people, with two different lifestyles, meet.
                Last updated on April 30th. Maybe she pulled it for editing and reposting, but she didn’t say! Darn…I hadn’t started reading either of them yet!

              • Hi Nebfan51, I spoke with the author & she has pulled her other story, Give a Little, it’s an Actorward/Britward that I rec’d back last August. It’s a great story but she was struggling with it, she wants it to be the best it can be, so has decided to pull it but not permanently. Thanks!

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