Monday Madness~Thrill Me Thursday 4 Part Series Part 1!

A/N:  This is the kind of weirdness you get from chatting with Rita! Once one of us gets an “ah ha” idea, the other one eggs it on like you wouldn’t believe! Well, here…lemme show you what that crazy woman double-dog dared me to do!

It was a day like any other…or so it seemed this beautiful autumn morning. I woke up, stretched, yawned, and dealt with a few essential human moments before getting dressed. Satisfied that I looked my best, I headed to the kitchen, my heart set on an omelet for breakfast. I gathered all the fixings, started the coffee pot and got started on my masterpiece. The bacon was frying, the onions were sautéing and I was chopping up some other ingredients when there was a knock on my door. Hoping it was who I thought it was, I looked out the window on my way to the door and, sure enough, a UPS {United Parcel Service} truck was parked in my driveway.  Yay! I’d ordered a few things on line and had been expecting them to arrive soon and here they were. I knew I’d have to sign for it, so I checked my face in the mirror before answering the door.

“Hi, can I help…” Holy Hell! This guy looked like just like Rob! I don’t mean a Rob look-alike, with subtle differences…no, he looked EXACTLY like Rob!

“Morning, ma’am. I have a delivery for RF?” he looked up at me questioningly. Fuck me sideways! I couldn’t get over how much he looked like a young Rob!

“Uh…yeah, I’m RF,” I stated dumbly. “Has anyone ever told you that you look like Robert Pattinson?” I asked as I signed for my packages and handed back his electronic clipboard thingy.

“Robert who?” he asked smirking at me. Oh my!

“Um, never mind. Are you new?” I asked. I couldn’t remember if I’d ever seen the UPS man around here before so I had no way of knowing for sure.

“No, ma’am. I’ve been the UPS man around here for a few years now,” he replied, biting his lip and looking at me appreciatively. Oh man! I was definitely going to have to start ordering more things on line if HE was my delivery man! Hell yeah! RobPorn delivered to my house by living RobPorn? You bet your sweet bippy!

“Okay. Well, thanks!” I said, pretending to shut the door. I couldn’t help myself…I watched that cute little ass in the dark brown slacks walk itself all the way back to the truck!

Sighing as he drove out of sight, I turned away and went back to making breakfast. As soon as I had everything done but the last pan of bacon, I set it to frying before deciding I had time to quickly check the mail. About half way down the sidewalk, I saw the mail truck drive up so I figured I’d just get my mail directly from the driver. The truck stopped at my mailbox while I was still several feet away. As I got closer, I could see that he was digging around in his mail bag. Just as I approached, he turned, saw me standing there, and smiled.

“Good Morning, ma’am. Lovely day, isn’t it?” he said cheerfully, handing over my mail with a fuckhawt smile. What. The. Fuck? I was absolutely spending way too much time perving over Rob! I was seeing him everywhere! The mailman looked like Rob’s Water for Elephants character, Jacob Jankowski!

 

“I…you…” I stammered.

“You all right, ma’am?” he asked in that velvet smooth voice I knew so well.

“Um, yeah…no. I’m fine. It’s just that you look like someone I know, that’s all,” I said trying my damnedest to stay calm.

“Do I? Well, I hope it’s someone you like,” he said with panty melting grin.

“Yeah, you could say that. You’re not my usual mailman. Are you a temp?” I asked.

“No, ma’am. You could say I’m brand new,” he snorted. Somehow I got the impression there was more behind that statement than I knew or that I wanted to know.  “You have a nice day now, ma’am,” he said, climbing back into his truck and driving off. I stood there for a minute trying to clear my head.

Tired. Yeah, that was it…I was just tired. Too many nights without enough sleep, staying up till the wee hours of the morning drooling over RobPorn while trying to come up with some fun ideas for posting on RA, and writing my fic about Rob. That’s all it was…I was thinking about him too much and my brain was tired…exhausted, really. Either that, or I was one French fry short of a Happy Meal! Okay. maybe two!

As I began my walk back to the house, I knew one thing in our neighborhood that would never change. The crazy old man living a few houses down from me watched every movement in the neighborhood through his blinds. He was paranoid and didn’t think anyone could see him through his magic blinds. Every morning when I went out to get my mail, he would be there watching. It had become a habit for me to wave at him and he would instantly shut his blinds as though, if he moved quickly enough, I wouldn’t see him when it was obvious I already had! So, as I neared his house, I looked up from my mail, smiled and waved at…Holy shit! He was there, staring out his blinds, but it wasn’t him…it was a young Rob!!!

This time, though, he didn’t duck behind his blinds and hide. He continued to stare at me, watching my every move. I ducked my head and forced myself to walk very quickly back to my house. My heart pounded out of my chest as I slammed my door shut, locked it, and fell back against it. Rob was everywhere! But that couldn’t be! It was freakin’ impossible! If I wasn’t absolutely certain I was losing my mind, it would be freakin’ awesome, but I was truly going off the deep end! I had to do something! I had to talk to someone! I grabbed my purse and drove down the street to my best friend’s house, hoping to catch her before she left for work. She’d talk some sense into me. She’d tell me I wasn’t losing my mind. She’d find a reasonable explanation.

I did my best not to panic as I made the very short drive to Carrie’s house. “You’re just tired. You’re exhausted, that’s all! Too much Rob over the past two tears. That’s the problem,” I kept telling myself over and over again. I pulled into her driveway and raced to the front door, pounding on it rather than knocking. I shuffled from foot to foot nervously as I waited for her to answer the door. Oh, God! I hope she answers the door! If a Rob answered the door in one of Carrie’s dresses, I’d run from here screaming and never stop! They’d have to lock me up in a padded cell for the rest of my life! I grew more and more anxious at the thought of a Carrie/Rob opening the door. Finally, the front door opened and my heart lunged into my throat. I was flooded with relief when I saw my friend’s familiar face.

“Oh, Carrie! Thank God it’s you!” I sobbed, throwing myself into her arms.

“RF! What in the world is the matter with you? Are you okay?” she gasped at the state I was in. Pulling back to look at me, she searched my face. “No…no, you’re not. Whatever is wrong?” she asked, ushering me inside with an arm around my shoulder.

Sitting at her kitchen table drinking strong Irish coffee with trembling hands, I told Carrie what’d been happening to me. She agreed that I’d been right in thinking that it was just exhaustion. We both concluded that I was imagining it all, spending so much time with all my Rob stuff that I was just overloading and that my mind was playing tricks on me. Feeling much better now that she’d talked some sense into me, I sat and talked to her for a few minutes while she finished making breakfast. A really bad feeling crept up my spine, for some reason.

“RF, would you please go wake up Thomas? Carrie asked, yanking me back out of my thoughts. “I’ve been calling that boy for an hour now and he just will not get up!” she said.

I made my way back to her son’s bedroom and knocked on his door. He was seventeen and a great kid…I liked him a lot. When he didn’t answer my knock, I tried again and slowly opened the door, peeking around it.

“Hey, kiddo. Your mom’s calling you” I said gently. I could see his head was completely covered by the blanket, so I entered the room intending to uncover his face and shake him awake.

“Hey, Thomas! Your mom’s got breakfast ready for you,” I said loudly, pulling the covers off his face. The sight that greeted my eyes made my blood run cold. I’d watched this kid grow up over the past few years, but he was no longer the black haired boy I knew!

He was asleep in Thomas’s bed, his face half covered by his hand, but I’d know that face and those hands anywhere and it was Rob!!!

I ran screaming from my friend’s house, jumped into my car and tore out of her drive way, leaving a bewildered Carrie staring after me from her front door.

I drove as fast as I could back to my house only to find that someone had called the fire department. Oh, God! The bacon! I had left it on! Black smoke was rolling out of my windows and there were firemen with oxygen masks going into my house. As I lunged from my car to try to get into the house, a neighbor lady grabbed me. “Everything is all right. It’s just smoke. They got here before the fire started,” she told me. I was flooded with relief! One of the firemen approached me and removed his mask.

“This your house, Ma’am?” he asked. I just stood there in open-mouthed shock. Even the fireman looked like Rob! I just nodded in response, staring at him like an idiot. I examined the face and characteristics of the fireman Rob. I knew Rob’s every expression, every look…I knew the sound of his voice better than I knew my own. I had seen his face and heard his voice multiple times every day for 2 years now and there was absolutely no difference!

“You really should be more careful, Ma’am. It’s lucky we got here in time. A grease fire can be very dangerous,” he was saying to me.

I covered my mouth with my hand to stifle the hysterical giggle threatening to escape. It was true…I’d lost my mind completely. I was going mad and there was nothing that could stop it.

“Joe,” he hollered, “Call the ambulance! I think she’s in shock or something.”

Joe came from inside my house and removed his facemask. Oh, big surprise! He looked like Rob, too! By now, I was giggling hysterically.

“Going to the hospital? Oh, goody! Maybe they could help before I totally lost my shit! Oh wait, it was too late for that,” I thought and started giggling all over again.

One of the Robs opened my car door and sat me down in the driver’s seat with my legs out of the car while they used their radio to ask for an ambulance. The UPS guy, the mailman, the old man down the street, Thomas, and now these two…all of them looked like Rob, at various different points in his life. Not one of them over the age of twenty six, which was Rob’s current age. I looked around, seeing my neighbor lady talking to fireman Joe and quite obviously enjoying the view. The nameless fireman was looking back at the house, giving directions to the ambulance.

Except for the fact there were so many Robs around, everything else seemed normal. I quickly ran a mental check: I knew my name, age, address, the date and year. Would I know all that, or be this rational, if I was losing my mind? I didn’t think so. Now that I’d had a few minutes to think about it all, I’d calmed down. Something just wasn’t right, but I honestly didn’t think I was the one that was wrong. I quietly pulled my feet into the car and shut the door quickly, locking all four doors with the automatic door locks. The two firemen descended on the car telling me I’d be okay… that I shouldn’t drive in my condition. I paid them no attention and peeled away, leaving hot stripes of black rubber in my wake.

…To be continued… 😛

Much love to you all,

RobsFan~tasy
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27 Comments

Filed under Because he gives us a Reason to smile., Because I CAN!, Friends, in my dreams, Just For Shizz and Giggles, Monday Madness, Thrill Me Thursday, We All Go A Little Mad Sometimes, Writing, WTF?

27 responses to “Monday Madness~Thrill Me Thursday 4 Part Series Part 1!

  1. clairebamboozle

    Oh RF, I wish I lived in your neighbourhood. listen girl, don’t fight your psychosis, embrace it (literally) there are much worse things to be seeing than multiple Robs. Take my advice, sit in, order some pizza. You never know your luck, the delivery guy might have stayed to share it with you.LOL

    • rita01tx

      Ah, but IS it a psychosis? Or is something more sinister going on? You’ll have to read the next post to find out more! Bwahahahaha {evil sidekick chuckle!}

    • Sorry for the late replies i just got home from work. glad it was an early day!

      Oh you have no idea where this thing is going but you’ll see a little more each day! I think i’ll pass on the pizza delivery and opt for a home Masseuse instead eh? *wink* i knows what I’m doing and it ain’t angelic LMAO!

  2. why doesn’t anything like that happen around here? sanity i think is vastly overrated, especially when multiple robs are involved. firefighter rob, flexing, bending, wiping that sweaty brow…..

    • rita01tx

      See, this was our “why can’t we all have our own Rob” chat that just blew itself out of all proportion LMAO!!! {It gets BETTER heheheheh!}

    • Oh my mind is a wonderful and some times frightening place! Just ask Cared and Rita they’ll tell you!! but am i really crazy? comeback tonight/tomorrow to find out more.

      and oh yeah! Firefighter Rob is…{pardon the pun} Very hot!

  3. clairebamboozle

    can I just point out I am in the UK and wasn’t really up at 4am reading this post. It was 9am here LOL,

  4. I say embrace it RobsFan-tasy. That is every Robh00rs dream come true.

  5. keyecullen

    This was funny as all get out! So glad that Claire told me to hustle my fanny on over her to check it out!

    • hi there keyecullen! Glad to have you here! {Thanks for inviting her Claire! MWAH!} There’s more of this to come in about an hour and over the next 2 days there after! and since your new here, take some time to browse through some old posts! we like to have fun as often as we can. hope to hear more from you soon!

  6. ilovealion

    Can’t wait to read part two.
    Poor Carrie! Rob is her son?!? That’s too bad. Wait- that’s bad for me, too. I could never perv over m friends child! Ugh.

  7. eewee333

    And you’re complaining….why? Love the pics. Can’t wait for part 2. 🙂

    • rita01tx

      *whispering* ’cause she doesn’t believe it’s real! She thinks she’s crazy! If it WAS real, the world would be a happier place, don’t ya think?

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