HAPPY HOLIDAYS 2012! Welcome to Rob Attack’s FanFiction Fridays ~ Naughty and Nice Christmas Fics ~ Part 1 post! Another Christmas is upon us and we’re going to celebrate the holiday spirit with some wonderful seasonal fic recs for you to enjoy! We ~ Cared, AllyVera and Midnight Cougar ~ made a list and checked it twice, we found out some sexy Edwards who have been naughty and nice! Ho Ho Ho!
Reviews by Midnight Cougar
Kidnapped for Christmas ~ Edward, a college drop-out, unlucky in love and a self-professed “loser” finds himself at the end of his rope. His girlfriend, Irina, has ditched him at the last moment, right before the family Christmas dinner Edward’s planned to bring her to, and thanks to an untimely phone call from his mother; his family thinks Irina is still coming.
Twilight – Rated: M – English – Humor/Romance – Chapters: 5 – Words: 6,452 – Reviews: 290 – Favs: 143 – Follows: 261 – Updated: 12-12-12 – Published: 12-09-12 – id: 8780837
“A series of uncomfortable moments later—including awkward phone calls to his exes, a terrible trip to the mall with is best friend where they were escorted out by security, and a run in with a schizophrenic who thought Edward was trying to take her into a secret government lab—and Edward has Isabella—an angry, former lawyer who’s dedicated her life to charity work—handcuffed in his car, blackmailed and forced into pretending to be his girlfriend. As the holiday stretches on and the charade he’s involved in becomes less and less a lie, Edward is only sure of one thing: he should stop listening to Jake.” ~ A/N
Well, Merry Christmas to me! 😀 I received the BEST fanfiction Christmas present on December 9th…a Christmas story written for me by my sweet and talented friend – I love her so much – JA Mash, called Kidnapped for Christmas. I am so honoured and touched that she did this for me! I love Christmas and everything about this festive holiday, and I’m so excited to read this holiday adventure of Edward and Isabella’s, as instigated by Edward’s crazy friend, Jake. I know it’s going to be a unique and fun ride! JA Mash writes great humor, and I have laughed and went *pfft – OMG* already, as this story is “Dramatic/Humor/Romance… cuz Jake is bat-shit-crazy… and you know… Bella is being kidnapped after all…”
Excerpt from chapter 4:
Edward sighs. As much as it would fix all his problems to introduce this girl to his parents as his date for Christmas, he already knew there was no way he could talk her into it. “Forget it, Jake. This was a stupid idea anyway. I’m just gonna have to call my family and explain everything.” He considers using the break-up with Irina to beg out of Christmas dinner this year. His stomach drops at the idea of skipping Christmas, but the thought of facing his family as he is—a failure—is even worse.
Jake shakes his head. “I’m sorry, man—but as your best friend, I can’t let you do that.”
“What are you guys taking about? And what do I have to do with it?” the girl snaps, trying futilely to tug her wrist from Jake’s grasp…again.
Jake reaches behind him. “Really, Eddie,” he says, “this is for the best. I’m just looking out for you, man.” With that, he pulls a pair of handcuffs from his back pocket.
“Jake, what’re you—”
“Hey! What do you think—”
There’s a flash of silver and a snap, and both Edward and the girl fall silent, staring in shock at the shining metal cuff clasped around her wrist.
And so it begins! We now have 5 chapters, and I am really looking forward to more! Can’t wait to see happens with the handcuffs! *wink* Thank you so much, JA Mash! xoxo
Footprints in the Snow ~ “An hour from now, when the snow falls again, it will be like we weren’t even there. But we will remember.” A story of unrequited love, and how the things we keep silent can hurt us and the ones we hold closest. E/B Rated M for themes of an adult nature.
Twilight – Rated: M – English – Romance/Angst – Chapters: 17 – Words: 37,464 – Reviews: 3325 – Updated: 12-21-11 – Published: 12-5-11 – Bella & Edward – Complete
This beautiful Christmas story centers around Edward and Bella’s whole family ~ past and present ~ and will pull at your heart strings. It’s forbidden love from years past with “two broken flawed souls” but you get on board Team Edward and Bella right away as you feel the love they share and their special connection as soon as they come together again to celebrate Christmas…
“I miss you,” she whispered in my ear.
“Me, too,” I said. “I love you, Alice.”
We stood there holding each other for what seemed like forever. Only I didn’t want to let her go. I missed having her around. I missed all our talks, and just the way she seemed to understand me. Even when no one else in the world did.
“I love you, too, Bella,” she said. “So fucking much.”
Jasper cleared his throat behind us. And I couldn’t help the absolute giddiness that enveloped me. I was here…with my family. We were all in the same place again for an entire week.
“You’re gonna have to let her go eventually,” he said laughing. “I’m not sharing a bed with both of you.”
“You would,” I said, grinning. “And you wouldn’t complain once.”
“He might complain a little,” a soft spoken voice said behind me. And even though the door was still open, and cold air was rushing in, my entire body was covered with warmth. “You kick when you sleep.”
“Edward,” I breathed, releasing Alice from my grip.
I turned to look at him – to take him in. I never saw him anymore. Only during the holiday weeks. But he was still as beautiful as the boy I remembered from my childhood. But he was a man now. Everything about him screamed it. Tall and masculine…perfectly handsome. But there was still something about him that spoke to the little girl inside me. Maybe it was the way his eyes sparkled – like he knew a secret no one else knew. Maybe it was the mischief in his smile. Whatever it was – when he was around, we were all together, and I knew I was home.
“Bella,” he breathed in return.
As you can already see, the family ~ Jasper, Alice, Bella, Edward, Emmett and Rose ~ all share a special caring bond as well, and are lovely characters; loving, supportive, and dedicated to each other; it’s inspiring to read. The whole story consumed me from beginning to end, I read it in one evening sitting, and the ending is incredibly emotional, I cried, but it will make you realize what a compelling story writer cosmogirl7481 truly is. I have to say, I think Footprints in the Snow is one of the best, well-rounded complete Christmas fics I’ve ever read. It’s an emotional 17 chapters, encompassing a holiday romance full of angst, but definitely worth reading as it’ll renew your faith in the power of love and the spirit of Christmas!
Christmas in the Sand ~ While on vacation in Hawaii for her best friend’s Christmas wedding, Bella has asked Santa for nothing more than to get lei’d properly. After a rather traumatic event on the beach, Edward, a superhero of sorts, comes to her rescue Baywatch style. Sparks fly and all that jazz. Will Edward be able to fulfill Bella’s only Christmas wish? A short, fluffy, and fun Christmas Drabble.
Rated: Fiction M – English – Humor/Romance – Edward & Bella – Chapters: 30 – Words: 8,235 – Reviews: 680 – Favs: 98 – Follows: 202 – Updated: 12-13-12 – Published: 12-01-12 – id: 8754431
I’m going to start with…this Christmas drabble is hilarious…and HOT! I have really enjoyed every chapter so far! If you are looking for something light, happy and so much fun to read for the holidays, then you have to read this well-written drabble. You will laugh your ass off at Bella, at her snark and the sayings she comes out with, as she and Rose explore Hawaii…and the lifeguards. 😉
Christmas in the Sand updates at least several times a day, both POVs, and has Edward…in the sand…on a beach…in board shorts…need I say more? *fans self* As the author says, “It’s meant to be a little bit fun, a little bit sexy and, hopefully, a little bit entertaining.” Enjoy Sandward, I know I am!
Chapter 1 ~ BPOV
“You look like a creepy flasher, Bella.” Rose laughs as I stomp through the airport.
“Fuck off. It’s gonna be like a bazillion degrees when we land so I’m just trying to plan ahead.” I huff.
I have on a pair of denim cutoffs, a green tank top and my camel colored Uggs. I also have on my dad’s hideous brown plaid trapper hat and a knee length grey trench coat buttoned from top to bottom.
It’s fucking cold in Seattle this time of year but I don’t want to land in Hawaii wearing winter attire. I’ll sweat my tits off and if you know me you know how much I hate to sweat. Unless it’s from a rough and tumble round of sex, not that I have any experience with that or anything. All my previous lovers… God, just saying that word makes me gag. Anyway. All my previous lovers were sorely lacking in the sexual prowess department.
Woe is me.
Chapter 2 ~ EPOV
“Dude, I can feel it in the air. This Christmas is gonna be bitchin’.” My roommate and best friend tells me as he jumps up, trying to reach the coffee mugs.
I don’t know why we keep the mugs on the top shelf.
“You say that every year, Emmett.” I tell him, reaching around to grab his favorite mug for him.
“Yeah, but I never really meant it until now.”
“You also say that every year.” I laugh as I pour myself a cup of coffee. “And you know I’m not interested in fooling around with a tourist. I’m a relationship type of guy.”
“Lies!” Emmett snorts. “Tell that to Tanya, Kate, Irina, Maggie, Charlotte, Jessica, Angela…”
“I did not sleep with all of those girls. I can’t help it that they all want my nuts.” I clarify, grabbing said nuts and pushing his head to the side.
“You’ll see. You’re gonna fall hard this year.” He says, pointing to his temple as if he can predict the future. “And I’m seeing a tall leggy blonde in my near future.”
“Whatever you say, Miss Cleo.” I say as I down the rest of my coffee.
Edward’s Healing Touch ~ Dr. Cullen is stuck working on Christmas again. Will he get that miracle hes been praying for? And what can he do for the patient in room 3? M for a very Merry Christmas! All Human. EPOV.
Twilight – Rated: M – English – Romance – Chapters: 1 – Words: 2,497 – Reviews: 28 – Published: 12-12-11 – Edward & Bella – Complete
I actually read this awesome one shot exactly one year ago today, and if you’d like a hot little ditty of an ER Christmas Eve visit with Dr. Edward Cullen, then you have cum…I mean, come…to the right place. Edward’s Healing Touch is one of a kind hot and sweet and sexy as he treats as angel…
I opened the door and glanced at the patient before me.
She was an Angel.
No, seriously…like wings, halo, white dress…The whole nine yards. I found myself kind of stunned, and stood there gaping at her for quite some time.
“Ahem,” she cleared her throat, breaking the spell.
“Right, hi there…” I glanced down at her file, “Bella. I’m Dr. Cullen. What brings you in this evening?”
“I uh…” Her face turned a fascinating shade of red. “I think I might have…brokemyass.” she whispered.
“What was that? You think you broke something?” I moved closer to her, trying to ascertain where she was hurt.
“I’m kinda clumsy…and I fell.”
“Where did you fall?” I really wanted to crack a joke about it being a long drop from heaven, but somehow I didn’t think she’d appreciate it.
“On the sidewalk.” I shook my head at her answer.
“I meant what did you hurt angel?”
She gasped at my slip, but really the pet name suited her. She looked so sweet and innocent. Her dark hair and fair skin gave her an almost ethereal look. Heavenly.
“I fell on my butt!” She started to cry, “It really hurts okay, so please don’t make fun of me.”
I stroked her back gently, probably inappropriately, but I felt such an urge to comfort this sweet girl.
“I would never laugh at you. You’re hurt. Now let’s see what I can do to make it better.” I asked her to change into a gown and lay on her stomach, before stepping out of the room to give her privacy. The though of her undressing was making me uncomfortably hard. I ran into the closest supply closet and closed the door. Scrubs were the worst thing on earth to concear a hard cock. I shut my eyes, taking deep breaths and thinking of anything to will my hardon away. Fat men needing enemas, grannys with yeast infections..and were down.
I headed back to room three to find Bella facing the door, ass up and uncovered. And we’re up again. Fuck.
I held her file in front of my crotch as I carefully stepped around her. I decided to forgo the gloves to make sure I had an extra sensitive feel of her ass.
“Alright, I’m going to touch you know.” I told her. Her breathing picked up, so I assured her, “I promise to be gentle.”
Softly I laid my hands on her gorgeous ass, and massaged a bit in a circle. She had a large bruise developing, but it didn’t look like she had hit anything that could be broken. I made sure to give her a thorough exam anyway.
Although I’m no angel, I am definitely thinking I should attempt to fall and break my ass too, so I can get ME a Dr. Cullen thorough Christmas exam! lol Enjoy!
Reviews by AllyVera
All I Want For Christmas ~ Bella’s five year old son makes a Christmas wish she’d never expected, and sets her entire world spinning. Written for the Fandom for Preemies compilation. AH.
Twilight – Rated: M – English – Hurt/Comfort/Romance – Chapters: 9 – Words: 47,830 – Reviews: 946 – Updated: 2-28-12 – Published: 12-15-10 – Bella & Edward – Complete
Bella is a young widow raising her son Mikey after his father, Michael, is killed in action in Iraq. When the story starts, Bella has been widowed for 3 years and Mikey is five, and he tells Bella his greatest wish for Christmas is a Daddy. One of my favourite Christmas stories is “A Christmas Carol” by Charles Dickens, and what I love about it is, it’s all about second chances in life. All I Want for Christmas by the wonderful kyla713 (author of Late Night Encounters) is definitely a story about second chances – and it is heart-warming.
This is a little extract from chapter one, where Mikey professes his wish for Edward, Michael’s best friend, and Bella and Mikey’s rock, to be his Daddy…
“Mikey nodded and then sighed again, laying back down and pulling the blankets up under his chin. “I wish he could be my daddy. That would be so cool.”
Bella leaned down to kiss his forehead gently and then rose to leave the room, flipping the switch on the way out. “Goodnight, sweetheart.”
Yet long after Mikey was asleep, her mind kept playing their conversation over and over again. It would have been so easy for her to fall into a relationship with Edward—they knew each other well, cared about one another, and both loved Mikey more than anything in the world. But aside from only being friends, there was one minor detail that she simply could not ignore…
He was military. Not only would the Army always come first for him, but Bella simply couldn’t take that chance again. She took it once, and paid the ultimate price for it—she became a widow at twenty-two years old, with a two-year-old son. And whenever she gave any thought to what her future might hold, she could only be certain of one thing.
She would never become involved with another soldier.”
Obviously, Bella changes her mind about being involved with another soldier; I think Edward’s charm and gentle strength have something to do with that. This relatively short story at 9 chapters, tells the story of their romance and the hurdles they face dealing with Edward’s career. It is a great read, perfect for this time of year – you will love watching Bella realize she wasn’t destined to have just one great love, but two.
Gift of the Magi ~ My heart was back in Seattle, shattered on the floor with the glass from the picture frame. Only three years in and it looked like my marriage to Edward Masen was falling apart. An angsty/sweet Christmas o/s.
Rated: Fiction M – English – Hurt/Comfort/Romance – Bella & Edward – Words: 7,792 – Reviews: 25 – Favs: 74 – Follows: 17 – Published: 12-16-10 – Status: Complete – id: 6560665
I read this story last year while I was working my way through the “Baby Its Cold Outside” Contest. It really stuck with me and I just had to share it with you all. As the summary suggests, it is not all sugar and spice, the story is told from Bella’s POV and we meet her when she arrives home six days before Christmas to her father’s place after leaving Edward, her husband and the love of her life.
I know what you are all saying right about now – “that is not very Festive Ally!” But trust me ladies, I wouldn’t lead you astray! This story is about how even the deepest love can be torn apart by not communicating. And you will be smiling by the end.
A little extract so you can see into Bella’s mind…
“I can’t do this anymore, Edward. I just can’t. I don’t think you even see me, anymore.” I was rummaging through the closet, looking for the big suitcase. I spotted it on the floor, behind a large plastic container and pulled it out. The very first thing to go in was a small package that I had been holding onto for a few days, waiting to give it to him Christmas morning. Now I couldn’t even think about the untidy implications wrapped up neatly in that box. I was putting things into the suitcase slowly, silently begging him to stop me, to beg me to stay. My silent pleas fell on a silent heart; he never moved from the couch in the living room where he had retreated after I told him I was leaving and found the suitcase. I slammed the front door so hard on the way out I heard a picture frame hit the floor and the glass shatter. Only three years in and it looked like my marriage to Edward Masen was falling apart.”
Christmas Stalkings ~ The lives of two strangers intersect in one packed mall on a very magical Christmas Eve. One-shot.
Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Humor – Bella & Edward – Words: 12,275 – Reviews: 179 – Favs: 341 – Follows: 71 – Published: 12-23-10 – Status: Complete – id: 6583289
I am going to be honest, the title of this one pulled me in. I do have a soft spot for Stalkerward *grins*. But this story is just so good; it has gorgeous Edward, sweet Bella and a great Cullen Clan. You get the feeling while reading this story that not even forces of nature could have kept these two from meeting; it is though they have been drawn together like magnets, and their connection is so lovely to read. Here is a little insight to Bella’s head when she sees Edward for the second time when Christmas shopping:
“While I waited in the short line to pay, I looked about and gasped. It’s him- the hot stranger from the china section! He’s in the same section I was just in!
Tall. Hot black leather jacket. A jaw line that could cut glass. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful…
In the back of my mind a voice warned, “Close your mouth, close your mouth, close your mouth.”
Did I say I really loved this Bella? ‘Cause I do! Enjoy!
Reviews by Cared
Entry for Countdown to Christmas 2012 – a Lyrical Melody by CullensTwiMistress
Candy Cane Santa ~ Summary: Bella and Edward are friends…sort of. She knows he’s the mall Santa. He thinks she doesn’t. A little Christmas story about finding “the one” without even realizing it. AH; ExB; Romance/Humor/Motorboating Rating M
This delightfully naughty story made me laugh out loud and feel good inside. Bella has nursed what she terms a little thing for Edward for years. Now this Christmas, Rose, Edward’s sister and Bella’s friend, has told her quite eloquently to shit or get off the pot LOL.
I don’t want to give away how Bella goes about making her feelings clear to this gorgeous and sexy Edward. I will say however, I will never be able suck on a candy cane again, without my mind taking a dive into the gutter. *wink*
Short, red velvet dress with white, fluffy trim, check.
Red high heels, check.
Hair pulled back into a high ponytail tied with a red ribbon, check.
Subtle makeup and deep red lips, check.
Matching red, silk underwear that nobody will ever see, but that makes me feel like a million bucks, check.
Bella feels like she is in a romantic comedy. I love that line because that is exactly what this story feels like – a romantic comedy with the obligatory very hot ending. Give Candy Cane Santa a lick today!
Christmas Traditions ~ “In order to have a tradition, we have to start a tradition.” Edward Cullen. Edward and Isabella relive magical nights of Christmases past. Written for SFFR’s 25 days of Christmas Smut-Shots. M ExB AH OOC 2010
Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance – Bella & Edward
If I had to sum up this story in one word only, romantic is the word I would pick. This Edward is the kind of Edward every girl would love to find in her stocking on Christmas morning; I mean in the stocking you hang by the chimney with care!
“In order to have a tradition, we have to start a tradition.” ~ Edward Cullen.
Bella is sweet and lovely, exactly like Christmas Traditions, and she doesn’t realise how deserving she is of her perfect man. Edward on the other hand, knows how special Sugarplum is, and has spent years making Christmas traditions with her and for her. Even the visits to Santa Claus have continued as adults because…well, it’s tradition.
Tonight, as Edward held Isabella while they flew down the hill, he thought to himself that Isabella’s happiness meant everything to him, reminding himself why he started this tradition of traditions in the first place – to make Isabella happy.
Isabella laughed happily as she stood up from the sled and dusted snow particles off her clothes. She knew she wanted to go again, but there would always be next year. And so they continued to their next tradition.
“Aren’t we too old for this?” Isabella asked as they entered the overcrowded mall.
“Maybe, but tradition is tradition.”
Do yourself a favour, take five minutes out of your busy day and relax while reading this lovely story.
The Santa Room ~ An entry in the Countdown to Christmas- 2012 – A Lyrical Melody
Edward/Jasper Rated M
If I told you The Santa Room features a reclusive control-freak, a successful CEO, a home-owner who insists on every surface in his domain being suitable for sex, and a very quirky man with a penchant for Santa, you might think what an interesting cast of characters. Now imagine all of those men rolled up into one if you will, add in a long, angular face with sharp penetrating green eyes and a firm jaw, then top that with coppery brown hair. Ladies and gentlemen may I present to you – drum roll please – Mr. Edward Masen.
This story is both fun and hot. It has a couple of nice twists and quite unusually, a fantastic Alice and a feisty Esme. Enjoy! I know I did.
He pulled a rolled up paper from the other tube. His hands roamed protectively over the paper as he sent her a nervous look. “This part is very important to me and Esme must never know about it.”
Raising an eyebrow, she nodded quickly. Whatever could it be?
Taking a deep breath, he unrolled a poster. Blinking, she stared at it. It was a print of a rather risqué Santa wearing tight red boy shorts, a red wife-beater, and the quintessential Santa hat seated on a throne. As if that wasn’t strange enough, Santa’s cock was sticking out of his boy shorts and was a bright red with what looked like whipped cream sprayed over the tip. Standing to his side was Mrs. Claus wearing a red and white teddy with the breasts and pussy cut out; she was leaning over his lap with her tongue out, ready to take a lick at the whipped cream. Next to the throne were mounds and mounds of wrapped gifts. “You want that framed?” she suggested, trying to guess.
Shaking his head, he let it fall to the floor where it rolled itself up haphazardly. “No, I love that Santa,” he said in a small hard voice. “I need one room dedicated to him.”
Not sure how to even respond to such an announcement, Alice nodded. “All right, one Santa room with a lock on it.”
Are you intrigued now?
Seventh and Pine ~ Eating food, drinking beer, and watching football are acceptable ways to spend your Thanksgiving Day. Wooing your niece’s insanely attractive babysitter, however, is not. EPOV
Rated: Fiction M – English – Humor/Romance – Bella & Edward – Chapters: 6 – Words: 12,520 – Reviews: 853 – Favs: 550 – Follows: 1,058 – Updated: 12-11-12 – Published: 11-22-12 – id: 8727265
This story is hilarious! Seventh and Pine by iambeagle, features a very cute but hapless Edward. He expected to spend his Thanksgiving relaxing with family, drinking beer, and indulging in too much pie. Read this story and watch Edward’s day go from good to bad, bad to good, good to catastrophic and back again so often it will give you whiplash; but the laughs make it worth it LOL.
Uncle Edward’s day is first knocked off track when he is persuaded (read bribed with beer and pie) to take his niece Emily to the Thanksgiving Parade. Meeting Bella there sends him into a tailspin that totally derails both him and his plans. She becomes the Stanley to his Ollie – think Jingle All The Way meets Santa Claus with some romance thrown in LOL. Seventh and Pine is a WIP and it’s told in a very entertaining EPOV.
I pull a few funny faces and try to make her laugh. Once I’m positive she’s calmed down, I take the risk of setting her back on the pavement so we can begin walking toward my car. She talks and talks, and all I’m thinking about is heading back to my sister’s place, where there is beer and food waiting for me.
“My babysitter!” Emily suddenly shrieks, pointing straight ahead. “Edward, look. It’s Miss Bella.”
So, I look.
The only person who could possibly be a Miss Bella in the direction she’s pointing, is a petite brunette who is holding a phone to her ear and tipping her head back in laughter. From where we’re standing, I can tell she’s attractive. She has a nice smile. She’s bundled up, and I briefly wonder what her tits look underneath all of the layers she’s wearing.
And then I’m no longer just looking, but staring, because I can’t not.
“Can we go say hi?” Emily tugs on my coat a few times, trying to grab my attention. Before I realize what’s happening, she’s pulling my arm in the direction of her babysitter.
“Hi, Miss Bella! Happy Thanksgiving,” Emily says politely.
I catch the sitter’s eye just as she slips her phone into her pocket. She looks close to my age, but I can’t be sure. I wonder why I’ve never met her before. I wonder if she’s wondering the same thing.
*Happy Ficmas!* Now that you have plenty of Christmas fics to get you in a festive mood, please enjoy them, we certainly did, and if you have some of your own you’d like to share, we’d love it hear from you! Thanks for joining us!
BEST WISHES FOR A SAFE AND HAPPY HOLIDAY!
Reminder ~ Last week to vote ~ Rob Attack ~ Best Rec’d on FanFiction Fridays 2012
If you haven’t voted yet, please take a moment of your time to pick your favourite Complete, WIP and One Shot rec’d on FanFiction Fridays in 2012! Voting open until Friday December 21st. Thank you!
See full post here: Rob Attack ~ Best Rec’d on FanFiction Fridays 2012 ~ VOTING
2012 Complete Recs Poll link ~ click to VOTE NOW!
2012 WIP Recs Poll link ~ click to VOTE NOW!
2012 One Shot Recs link ~ click to VOTE NOW!