Meet The FictionFreak

*Thanks to Crookedsmile evilnat FictionFreak95 Jaime Arken MsEm reachingasifall RileyCalvin for the original artwork*

*Thanks to CrookedSmile, evilnat, FictionFreak95, Jaime Arkin, MsEm, reachingasifall, RileyCalvin for the original artwork*

Welcome to Fan Fiction Fridays author spotlight for February 2013, where we, TheFicSix ~ Midnight Cougar, Cared, AllyVera, Ilovealion, Gingerandgreen, and WiltshireGlo, are thrilled and honoured to be featuring a legend in the Twilight fan fiction realm. Please Meet The FictionFreak!

FictionFreak95 actually published her first piece of Twilight fan fiction in July 2009—since removed—but it was on October 3, 2009 that she introduced us to her epic Crime/Humor fic, Edward Cullen, Dick for Hire, and she has been keeping us in excellent fic reading material ever since. Her writing brilliance can now be found in the form of fifteen stories for Twilight; all unique and captivating. Jo is such a lovely lady, one of those authors, we feel, who embodies all that is good in our Fandom, and for anyone who has read her work, you may also agree that some of her fics have become classics that we know, love and choose to reread simply because they are so wonderful.

We asked FictionFreak95 to answer some questions for us, and she graciously agreed, so please enjoy as we share that Interview with you, and then spotlight her fan fiction work. Thank you, FictionFreak95!


What is (a) your favourite Twilight book, (b) your favourite scene and (c) how do you feel it was portrayed in the film version?  

My favorite of the books was Eclipse because of all the sarcasm and smart-assery in it. LOVED seeing Edward get his possessive on and letting the green eyed monster get the better of him every so often.  I used to think the tent scene was my favorite part, and it’s still one of them, but as time has gone on, I’ve come to realize that the scene that made me LOL was when Bella made to sneak over and see Jake, but was caught red handed by Edward sitting in the truck *DED* only to find out he broke her car so she couldn’t go.  Wrong as it was of him to do that, I laughed so hard.  They did a pretty damn good job of playing that out in the movie I thought.

Are you in the Twicloset? Why?/Why not?  

Tricky. These days, I am and I’m not.  Because those who matter don’t mind and those who mind, well … you know the rest. 😉  

What was the first fanfic story that you read and how did you find it (and the fandom)?

I read Wide Awake when some ladies on the site suggested I check it out back in 2008.  I had absolutely no idea what fan fiction was at the time and was completely confused for a few chapters until I figured it out and had my “AHA” moment. *hooked*

When you’re writing, do you see the Twilight actors in your head as your characters, or are there other people you imagine in their stead?   

For Bella and Edward, yes, I almost always (*coughs* occasionallyIseeJensenastheDickbutonlybecausehe’ssuchabadass *coughs*) see the actors as these two, but there are a couple of characters that I’ve seen other actors as in my head when I’m thinking of them (Garrett from Blind Spot, specifically).

Have you met fandom people in real life? Were they what you expected?

I have been lucky enough to meet some ladies in this fandom live and in person over the past couple of years who have become some of my very best friends (some I’m still waiting to meet).  They’ve proven that yeah, there are people who might hurt you but there are others who will lift you up.  It amazes me that we can meet people online and connect like that.  Being able to bring a relationship such as these into “real life” just makes it that much more fantastic, I think.  So I guess in a way, no, they weren’t what I had expected.  They were a million times more.

In your opinion, what was the best thing before sliced bread?

BEFORE sliced bread?  *Googles right quick*  okay, here’s a list I found of things invented before sliced bread, lettuce discuss:  beer (9000BC), the wheel (8000BC), canoes (7900BC), marijuana (3000BC), Llamas (2500BC), toilet paper (589AD), implants? Seriously? (1895AD apparently).  I would honestly have to go with toilet paper here, for obvious reasons.  Beer comes in at a close second though and then Llamas.  Llamas are awesome.  

What in life are you most passionate about?


What movie do you watch again and again?  

I have a ton of these.  Too many to list here.  I love movies that have those one-liners in them.  The ones that completely catch me off guard and make me laugh out loud for days or just stick with me forever.  Nothing from any one genre either … I mean Say Anything is one of the classics I’ll always adore (Lloyd, Lloyd all null and void), along with The Breakfast Club, which just goes to show, you should never assume …  and then more recently, I think I could watch The Avengers over and over (seeing The Hulk smash “puny god” kills me everytime and Iron Man …  unnnng!) and Beaches will always make me cry.  Pretty much anything with Will Ferrell in it is something I would put on repeat for days.  There’s only 1 or 2 of his I was all “O.o” over …  and I simply try to pretend those don’t exist.   

What are you proudest of in your life?

My kids.

If you could have your own cloned Rob, made to your specifications, which of these would your heartthrob be?

WARDS for fictionfreak

Or do you have a favourite -ward / Rob of your own you’d like to share?

GAH.  Tough call, tough call, but yeah … I think this guy:


I think.  Or this one:

reading rob bw

ORrrrrr … this guy:


Thank you so much for revealing your deepest, darkest secrets. They are safe with us.
Now, do you have a rec you’d like to share? Tell us the name of the story, the author and why you think RA readers would love it.

This is one damn difficult question to answer and I would like to preface this answer by stating that it’s not fair to ask for just one. 😉 There are a few authors I hold very close to my heart in this fandom (*clears throat*), but if I’m “rec’ing” something today, I think I need to give you Delphian City by Boom-Boom Jones (summary: There are dark secrets in Delphian City. Edward Cullen is one of them. AH/AU OOC Supernatural/Fantasy/Sci-Fi minus the vamps.) – simply because this author’s writing is pretty great and the story is extremely under-appreciated.  Boom-Boom writes a crazy at times, multi-faceted Edward who is a super-hero type human with baggage and flaws, which I adore.  There are moments in this story where I laugh, gasp, widen my eyeballs, grab my heart strings and ultimately, hold on tight … it’s just got a little bit of everything that I think more people need to go check out.  Seriously.  

Delphian City by Boom-Boom Jones

*made by FictionFreak95*

*made by FictionFreak95*

Thank you, Jo, for this enlightening interview! 


FictionFreak95’s Fics


*Reviews by Midnight Cougar*

I have been reading fan fiction for several years now, and one of my “firsts” was the lovely, talented FictionFreak95. I’ve read most everything she has written, and I know some of you have probably heard me say this before, but, for me, Jo writes from her heart, it’s the raw passion I feel from all her stories, and characters; the emotions she evokes within me—happy, sad, angry, angst, love and laughter and more—that truly makes her one of my favourite Twilight fan fiction writers. It’s what keeps me coming back every time she posts a new story, and why, when we were contemplating a spotlight author for February, her name immediately came to mind.

I am going to give short reviews for the following four FictionFreak95 stories, but honestly, I could say so much more, as they are all exciting, well-written and memorable!


Edward Cullen, Dick for Hire by FictionFreak95

Edward Cullen, Dick for Hire by FictionFreak95 banner

Edward Cullen, Dick for Hire ~ When Private Eye Edward Cullen decides to investigate the “accidental death” of an old friend, he finds more people are involved then he originally theorized as the case takes twists & turns he never saw coming after Bella Swan arrives in town. AH, BxE

Twilight – Rated: M – English – Crime/Humor – Chapters: 29 – Words: 257,029 – Reviews: 4966 – Updated: 8-31-10 – Published: 10-3-09 – Edward & Bella – Complete

Edward Cullen, Dick for Hire is like no other Crime fic I have ever read … Jo’s Dick *wink* and his Patron will go down in fan fiction history! I’ve told Jo before that she is the only woman I know who can say she has a famous Dick! *giggles* He is a true classic! There aren’t enough words for me to express how much I love Dick. How hard I laughed, cried, smiled and swooned while reading this epic story *cough* numerous times … starring two wild and crazy Private Investigators. I loved every minute of Cullen and The Swan’s journey: from the mystery and suspense to the love/hate relationship they have … it’s all exciting, crazy, action-packed, and hot! And when they first meet, sparks fly, and as Dick would say, “Fuck my life…”

I grabbed her by the arm, which was very toned by the way, and spun her around. She looked a little stunned at first, but seemed to swallow it down. “Yes you do…you fucking came here to ruin the photos, didn’t you? Not to…intro-fucking-duce yourself. You sneaky…little…”

“Mr. Cullen,” She said, pulling her arm out of my grasp. “You would do well…” she stalked toward me, forcing me to walk backwards now. “to watch…” she put her hand on my chest “your fucking…” I stopped when I got to the wall and she leaned in so that she was about a dick hair away from my face, staring at my lips. My tongue flicked out instinctively, licking them. “mouth.” Then she looked me in the eyes.

Holyfuckinghell that was hot.  {I think we all agree with Dick on that. lol}

She turned on her red ‘fuck me’ heels, and left me standing there. Dumbfuckingfounded, awe struck, and with a raging hard on that would probably poke holes in most strong surfaces had I been near any of them.

“Bella Swan by the way,” She said over her shoulder. “I’m your new competition. The Mayor says hi.”

Then she was gone.

Cullen, you just got fucked. Right up the ass.

Point to the Swan. —

*made by CrookedSmile*

*le sigh* Please enjoy Dick … he really is a one of a fucking kind, and if it is your first time with him … I envy you, and please, be gentle … oh wait, no, don’t, he will want you to fucking enjoy yourself! *wink*


The Dick in Me by FictionFreak95

*made by CrookedSmile*

The Dick in Me  ~ A continuation of Edward Cullen, Dick for Hire – What happens when the love of your life becomes your partner in crime solving? AH, BxE

Twilight – Rated: M – English – Crime/Humor – Chapters: 23 – Words: 115,798 – Reviews: 2041 – Updated: 1-20-11 – Published: 8-31-10 – Bella & Edward – Complete

The summary says it all for this sequel … Dick and The Swan continue their ever crazy life adventure together, only now they throw a full partnership into the mix—love and work. And you can guarantee, Dick is still saying, “Fuck my life…” As Jo tells us in her A/N: “Cullen and Swan have been together for around 9 months…So this story will explore not only the new case that Swan & Cullen have to work together to solve but also how they are each dealing with their own lives as well as how they move forward in the new stage of their relationship.”

The way Edward and Bella work together, their camaraderie, complementing kick-ass PI skills, and compromising tactical situations they get themselves into … it’s fucking epic! *giggles*

“The board would like to motion that we move on to…” I kissed behind her ear while Eddy Jr., who also liked the smell of fucking coconut, nudged up against Swan’s…inner being. “Other things at this time.”

A giggle escaped her, despite the frustration her body told me she was feeling and the card fell to the floor….

“I love you,” she whispered, sending goddamn goosebumps up my spine.

I swear, I still wasn’t quite used to hearing a woman say that shit and mean it, much less mean it right back at her ass.

“I fucking love you, too, Swan,” I retorted, fucking with her shirt to get it the hell off of her.

“Do you?” she teased, slipping her hand into my pants, finding my dick already up and saying hello to said hands.

“Fuck,” I breathed. “You know I do.”

“How much?”

My hands found her tits and answered her with some nipple pinching as my tongue found hers and she breathed in through her nose deeply, pushing into me a little more with her hips.

“Sooooo,” she murmured into my neck as her hand fondled my dick with the utmost per-fucking-fection known only to me by her. “I can go ahead and print the cards?”

I laughed. She was goddamn priceless with that shit. And fucking adorable when she was negotiating, to boot.

“I don’t fucking think so, Swan,” I said and then added for good goddamn measure, “My bad…Bella.”

That was about when I realized.

I was still somewhat of a fucking idiot.

All dick fondling ceased and she leaned back, looking into my eyes questioningly.

“You’re serious.”

I smirked when I laughed that time. “Yes I’m fucking serious, they suck, Swan, now get back here let me give you a proper…sucking.

I wiggled my eyebrows at her and then leaned in to kiss her ass again but she pulled back further, huffed, then got up, collecting her shit from off of the floor and I asked her, “What?”

“Maybe I need to spend more time perfecting my sucking capabilities, Cullen, I wouldn’t want you to be disappointed or anything, now…would I.”

I opened my mouth to say something but in all goddamn honesty. It was over.

And I was a fucking asshole.

LOL God, they make me laugh, they really are fabulous characters, so charismatic, and take us on another hot and sultry, yet thrilling ride. Their relationship dynamic truly is something to read, and Bella … she really does get … the Dick in her … life!


Dickity Outtakes Futuretakes and Under takings by FictionFreak95

*made by Julieblyss*

*made by Julieblyss*

Dickity Outtakes Futuretakes and Under takings ~ Side stories and fun stuff from “Dick for Hire” and “The Dick in Me” that you might find interesting. Not all are “M” but all are fun. AH, BxE

Twilight – Rated: M – English – Crime/Humor – Chapters: 10 – Words: 34,069 – Reviews: 465 – Updated: 1-2-13 – Published: 11-3-10 – Bella & Edward – Complete

These ten extras are the perfect supplements to the above two stories and will, again, make you laugh and swoon. From the Dick for Hire—chapter 16 “Nakedness and Drunk Texting”, which is hilarious, to learning more about Seth and his back story, you won’t want to miss one bonus chapter. We also have a futuretake, a one shot, some more outtakes, and a couple of charity pieces: The “Breaking the Damn”—the “Fandoms Fight the Floods” fundraiser where Bella’s having a baby and Cullen is having a bad day, and the “Edward Cullen, Dick for Hire” outtake for the StandUp 4 Katalina fandom cause, where Cullen and the Swan find some “down time” between cases, to add to the mix. The Swan and Dick’s adventures never cease to thrill me to pieces, I simply can’t get enough of them, so I really enjoyed these “Under takings.” Dick just keeps getting better and better every time he opens his hot fucking mouth! 😀


Penal Code by FictionFreak95 BellaFlan

*made by FictionFreak95*

Penal Code ~ COLLABORATION with BELLAFLAN: Undercover Cop Edward Cullen wants some excitement on his beat. Bella, whom he mistakenly thinks is a hooker, desperately needs to snap out of her funk. How deep is Edward willing to go undercover to get the girl? AH, BxE

Twilight – Rated: M – English – Humor/Romance – Chapters: 11 – Words: 39,189 – Reviews: 1362 – Updated: 11-6-12 – Published: 1-3-12 – Bella & Edward – Complete

If you have not read Penal Code yet, you have no idea what you are missing; it’s my pick-me-up fic whenever I need to LMFAO! This Copward short story, which started out as a one shot for the Fandom for Texas Wildfire Relief, is the most hilarious 11 chapters of anything I have ever read. From the chapter 1–one shot to the chapter 11–outtake of “Alice and the Jersey Cow”, Undercover Copward’s (or Edward Cu… Masen, as he’s mistakenly known as by Bella) night of adventure as a “John” will make you literally laugh out loud. Whether it’s Bella or Edward’s POV you are reading, the misunderstanding of epic proportions that surrounds this amusing gem will make you love these two crazy characters, and I can guarantee, you’ll never look at a Pudding Cup the same way again. *snorts*

Oy. This is where I would normally ask her to get coffee with me. I was completely out of my element…

what exactly did one ask a hooker to go do?



“Sure! I mean, I’m not exactly dressed for The Plaza or anything, but . . . you know, I’d kill for a pudding cup.”

Pudding cup? Was that like hooker code for cum on my face or something? “Um… okay.” “With cream.” Definitely code for cum on my face.



*Reviews by Cared*

I’d love to be able to get across to you all, just how much I’ve enjoyed re-reading some of my favourite FictionFreak95 fics for this post. Even if you’ve read some of these before, I urge you to treat yourself as they are just as good second time around.  Have a look at this selection of five fabulous One-Shots, one Short-Story and a Complete Fic below and you will understand why I’m such a Freakin’ Fan!

Superstition by FictionFreak95

*Made by crookedsmile*

*made by CrookedSmile*

Superstition ~ A VAMPWARD ONE SHOT: Pick your poison. This one shot has two POVs. His and Hers. Neither believe the other exists but when Bella visits the dull town Edward happens to be staying in for a while, maybe they’ll each have a change of heart. AU, BxE

Twilight – Rated: M – English – Supernatural/Romance – Chapters: 2 – Words: 15,702 – Reviews: 225 – Updated: 11-8-11 – Published: 10-28-11 – Bella & Edward – Complete

Bella is a news reporter for The San Francisco Chronicle who is sent to Forks to interview the locals for an article entitled “Real Halloween Horrors.” Of all the towns in the whole world, why Forks?  The widespread rumours about eerie experiences and unexplained deaths, of course. Bella puts no stock in their spooky stories; she doesn’t believe that monsters exist, even when she is looking straight at one…

He was standing just outside the grocery store, watching me through the glass window, almost as though he wanted the shadows that surrounded him to swallow him up.

His clothes were covered up by a long leather jacket, but I could see hints of a button down peeking out from under it.



And most definitely sexy.

So my type. Wonder why I haven’t seen him before today.

I should have been startled, bothered, unnerved maybe even by the way he was glaring at me, but for some reason I wasn’t.

We seemed to fixate on each other for a moment. One that stretched out into eternity. His eyes were dark… black it seemed from where I stood. Maybe it was the shadows, I thought, making them look that way.

Believe me, sexy and mysterious don’t just describe this sensual tale; they apply to Edward equally as well. He believes in the existence of monsters as he is convinced he is one. Edward is tired of living, if that is what he does, without purpose or passion, accepting that happiness will always be out of his reach. He doesn’t believe there is someone meant for him.

Has fate finally stepped in for these two non-believers? 


The Force that Drives Him by FictionFreak95

*Made by FictionFreak95*

*made by FictionFreak95*

The Force that Drives Him ~ ONE SHOT: Edward Cullen drives a limo to make ends meet. Isabella Swan is the CEO of her own company. He’s spent many miles driving for her, fantasizing about her from the front seat until she decided she wanted more than just a ride home from the airport. AH, BxE

Twilight – Rated: M – English – Romance/Drama – Chapters: 1 – Words: 3,746 – Reviews: 144 – Published: 8-1-11 – Edward & Bella – Complete

I want us all to pause for a moment. Close your eyes and picture Edward in a crisp black suit and la pièce de résistance – a black drivers cap.  Collective deep sigh!  Now, imagine mile upon mile of surreptitious glances and eyes meeting tantalizingly in the mirror. Consider how roomy, comfortable, and private, the back seat of a limo is.  Are you still with me?  Open your eyes and read The Force That Drives Him and find out if your fantasy matches up to Bella’s reality.

She wanted me to call her…Bella?

Another short peek up at her through the mirror.

“That’s not exactly professional, Miss Swan.”

“Maybe I’m not feeling very professional this evening.”

We came to a stop light and I couldn’t take my eyes off of her.

She finished the first glass of Brandy and then poured another. It must have been one hell of a trip.

“Well then,” I said. “I’ll be sure and do my best Miss…” I corrected myself. “I mean Bella.”

And the smiled that she awarded me.

It was definitely not very professional.

Line up here to take a ride with Limoward ladies and please enjoy!


Fore Play by FictionFreak95

*Made by crookedsmile*

*made by CrookedSmile*

Fore Play ~ ONE SHOT: Professional Golfer, Edward Cullen gets more than he bargained for when he finally gets the caddy he’s always dreamed of having. AH, BxE 

Twilight – Rated: M – English – Romance/Humor – Chapters: 1 – Words: 5,160 – Reviews: 148 – Published: 7-11-11 – Edward & Bella – Complete

No, this is not a slash fic. The caddy that pro golfer Edward lusts after is female. It seems the immense power of positive thinking, a fortuitous stomach upset, and a felicitous ball to Mike Newton’s head, all combine to make Edward’s dream come true.

She was perfect. 

And I’m not talking physically perfect, either. 


I’m talking, she knows her stuff, she’s bad ass and she is like the golden ticket from Willy Wonka that you just…you have to have, no matter what. 

She was rumored to be the dahlia lama of the golfing world and I was the one guy who hadn’t had his chance at partnering up with her. 

But today… I was gonna will it to happen.

The questions now are, will Edward be able to handle Bella cleaning his balls?  Will he hit that elusive sweet spot? Will he manage to line his head up perfectly?  Will he grip his shaft just right?  Will he lose his stroke or will be he able to follow through? (Yes, all puns are intended!) Read Fore Play to find out the answers.*There is a hint in the title as to the outcome of the story. LOL*


Death of A Ghost Hunter ~ Dickity Outtakes Futuretakes and Under takings by FictionFreak95

*Made by FictionFreak95*

*made by FictionFreak95*

Death of a Ghost Hunter ~ When Cullen and Swan are hired to investigate the eerie circumstances surrounding the area’s leading “Ghost Hunter”, they run into a suspicious duo who have their own agenda to attend to.

I love this Dickitytake. It’s a fun supernatural mysterious crossover with the Winchester Boys, and it features a hot shower sex scene. I know where your minds just went. Don’t deny it! The shower sex is between Dickward and his partner in crime Swan. Not crime as in…well you know what I mean. Their latest case is the investigation of a death in very suspicious and possibly unnatural circumstances. Needless to say, no nonsense Edward has no time for ghost stories…

“What are you scowling at?” she asked, almost amused but mostly curious.

 “This guy is like, the biggest fucking joke since dick enlargement pills, Swan.”

 She lowered the top of her laptop a little and raised a single eyebrow at me.



 “He was highly admired in the supernatural community, Edward. You shouldn’t make fun of things you don’t even understand.”

 “Don’t wanna fucking understand, either,” I said, continuing to read. Then I thought about what she’d said and asked her, “You don’t really believe in ghosts and shit like that, do you Swan?”

 She shrugged. “I don’t know…but I’d rather not piss any spirits off by making fun of them, just in case they do exist.”

 I shook my head at her…always politically fucking correct, that woman, even when the politicians are dead.

Add in Sam and Dean and you get an entertaining overload of testosterone, then the fun begins.


The Play Date by belladonnacullen, troublefollows1017, and FictionFreak95

*Made by Jamie Arkin*

*made by Jamie Arkin*

The Play Date ~ A chance encounter between three little girls ends in parental panic attacks and putting one of the bad guys away. Based on the children from three Twilight FanFiction stories by three ladies who like to have fun with their characters.

Twilight – Rated: T – English – Humor/Adventure – Chapters: 1 – Words: 9,780 – Reviews: 147 – Published: 11-7-11 – Edward & Charlie S. – Complete

This one-shot features Pennyward’s Faith from “Fridays at Noon”, Little One from “There is a Light” and Hanna, The Dick’s kid, from “Edward Cullen, Dick for Hire”. They are three delightful little girls and I will let them speak for themselves…

Why does your daddy call you Penny if your name is Faith?”

 This was a long story. I tried to make it short. “A long time ago, before I was born, my daddy gave my mommy like a million pennies. Right, Tyler?”

 Tyler was laughing as he pushed me. “Almost a million.”

 “Oh. Almost a million and Mommy decided to love him and then they had me, and Daddy calls me Penny because it makes him think about love. He loves me. A lot. Like to infinity. Right, Tyler?”

 “Absolutely.” Hanna made a face like she was thinking. “My daddy gave Mommy a daisy once. I wonder why he doesn’t call me Daisy.” Then she looked over at Little One. “Does your daddy call you Little One because he gave your mommy a Little One?”

 “A little one of what?” I asked, feeling confused when Hanna talked again. She was older than me and knew lots of stuff I didn’t.

 Hanna tried to explain, “I don’t know, but this one time, I walked in on my daddy and mommy and he was saying something about giving her a little something…”

This fic is gorgeous, sweet, and so funny it had me both snickering quietly and laughing out loud.  It’s a story for all ages although parents may get an extra kick out of it.

Kids say the darndest things!


Swimming With Swan by FictionFreak95

*Made by reachingasifall*

*made by reachingasifall*

Swimming With Swan ~ One Shot turned short story. Edward gives swim lessons. Bella is afraid of the water. She wants to learn. Can this highly talented, too good looking for his own good swim instructor teach her more than she bargains for? AH, BxE 

Twilight – Rated: M – English – Romance/Humor – Chapters: 5 – Words: 20,166 – Reviews: 573 – Updated: 8-10-10 – Published: 4-26-10 – Edward & Bella – Complete

This was originally written for the “Men At Work Anonymous One Shot Contest”. I want to be Bella! Not so I can ride off sparkling into the sunset with the man of my dreams for all eternity. No – it has to be this particular Bella; I want this mischievous Edward with his hidden depths to teach me to swim. Poor Edward, he suffers from word vomit and the sight of Bella in an itsy bitsy (not polka dot) bikini, brings on another embarrassing condition…

“Shit…” I whispered. “Go down…go down, go down, go down, go down…” He didn’t listen of course, he never did, he was a little fucker like that. Pleeaaassse go down,” I begged him, but it was too late anyway. She was too close to do anything about it so I just dropped all the shit I’d been holding and covered the obtrusion up with my hands, hoping to the gods that I didn’t seem too obvious.

It’s soon obvious that Bella, and actually Edward too, need to be taught some far more important life lessons they will never forget.  You know, things like – Paybacks are a bitchy little fuckers…Take the plunge and read this short story full of wonderfully smart banter and humour.


Cullen Unscripted by FictionFreak95

*Made by crookedsmile*

*made by CrookedSmile*

Cullen Unscripted ~ When Edward Cullen scores an entry level internship as a writer for his distant Uncle’s TV Station immediately following College, his life takes some crazy turns as he makes new friends and finds love. AH, BxE

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Humor – Edward & Bella – Chapters: 25 – Words: 93,244 – Reviews:2,768 – Favs: 1,884 – Follows: 778 – Updated: 08-30-10 – Published: 04-16-10 – Status: Complete – id: 5901030

FictionFreak95 says in an author’s note “Just a short, fun, light-hearted break…hopefully. Hoping you likey. And hoping you laugh.” Well, just in case she is wondering…yes I likey…yes it made me laugh.  When you spend time in Edward’s head, how can you not?

The first day of any job is a bitch, in my opinion.

 You don’t know anyone; you don’t know what you’re doing, where to find shit, who to ask about finding shit, why you should be finding shit or where the bathrooms are when you have to TAKE a shit.

I admit, while the plot is entertaining and witty, par for the course in any story from FictionFreak95, there is much more to this romantic story. From the fabulous friendships to enjoy and characters to enjoy disliking, to the unique Edward; all are why I enjoyed every word of this humourous fic. This talented Edward has a refreshing outlook on life, he is adorkable in an adorable way, and is funny yet smart – just like this story in fact! Lucky for Edward, the bewitching Bella is much more than her public persona, and recognises him for the beautiful soul that he is.

Scriptwriter extraordinaire Kumasen err…I mean Edward Masen, would be proud to put his name to Cullen Unscripted.


*Review by AllyVera*

Vines by  FictionFreak95

Banner made by Ysar

*made by Ysar*

Vines ~ After years of running away, Edward Cullen finds himself back at his family’s Napa Valley vineyard. What should have been a short trip & quick sell of an old run down crop turns into one of the hardest decisions he never thought he’d have to make. AH, BxE

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Drama – Edward & Bella – Chapters: 32 – Words: 133,234 – Reviews: 5,567 – Favs: 2,940 – Follows: 1,505 – Updated: 04-21-11 – Published: 09-23-10 – Status: Complete – id: 6346090

Love a fascinating Edward? They don’t come more fascinating than Vines Edward and his backstory is just as intriguing as he is.  If you haven’t read this masterpiece of FictionFreak95’s – go pour yourself a glass of wine and immerse yourself in the Napa Valley and Edward.  Oh, and lets not forget Bella, you will love how pretty much nothing keeps Bella away from Edward, even when she is warned off him several times (got to love the girl for knowing what she wants!). Here’s a little ‘sip’ to get you started…

“What was I scared of?

I was Sergeant Edward Anthony Cullen.

Leader to one of the most talented squads in the United States Army.

Sub-sequentially, part of my company’s highest ranking Platoons.

Trainer of grunts.

Proven champion in hand to hand combat.

I’d busted my ass to make my rank in my four years of duty, faced fears that civilians couldn’t possibly dream of facing…

… What was I scared of?.”

At this stage you don’t know why Edward ran away from his roots four years ago, but trust me when I say this, it is one fantastic read finding out!


*Review by Wiltshire Glo*

Blind Spot by FictionFreak95

*Made by Jaime Arkin*

*made by Jaime Arkin*

In the small town of Madisonville, LA, Bella Swan has spent her entire life seeing things before they happen. Until Him. How do you stay out of someone’s life when it keeps flashing before your eyes on a daily basis? AH,BxE, slightly supernatural.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Crime/Drama – Bella & Edward – Chapters: 27 – Status: Complete

As a long-time fan of FictionFreak95 I know when she starts posting a new story I want in from day one. Blind Spot got to me straight away – no shock there – but it had me intrigued, theorising and mulling it over while I was waiting for the next post.

Edward may be a grumpy, aggressive, wallowing ex-cop who drinks to forget something we aren’t privy to, but there’s something deeply vulnerable about him, especially when he’s pushing everyone away. He’s clearly deeply troubled, but the residents of Madisonville are an accepting bunch, and some can see beyond the gruff exterior, willing to include him in their lives whether he wants company or not.

Despite her better judgement, Bella simply can’t let him be – she challenges him, but also looks out for him. She’s sassy and feisty, works everywhere and knows everyone, but there’s so much more to her:

The more I saw her, was around her, the more oddball she acted when she encountered me, the more I wanted to put her into some category I could understand.

I just didn’t know enough about her to categorize her yet.

From what I could gather, she had several odd jobs, nothing full time and certainly nothing noteworthy.

Was she model type material? Maybe not, but she was sexy in her own way. I couldn’t quite put a finger on it, but it was there. In every annoyingly insightful thing she said and every assumption she made. Every arched eyebrow and stubborn conversation…

It was like she had wound herself so tightly around my brain that I couldn’t untie her. Couldn’t quite get the knot started. Even if I wanted to.

It made no sense and yet I couldn’t take my eyes off of her.

I could almost hear my brother’s voice next to my ear, in warning mode. “It’s the innocent looking ones ya gotta look out for, Eddy boy.”

I waved him off, unaware I was even doing it, and was rewarded with a few wary looks.

I finished swallowing my drink the rest of the way. “Flies.”

“I think I’ll go check on dinner,” Rose announced with a slight brow furrow and then left the room. After saying he’d help, Emmett followed, leaving me alone with the mystery that was Miss Swan.”

While they both fight the ghosts of their pasts in order to move forward, they hold different pieces of a puzzle that can unravel lies and conspiracies to unlock their future. It’s a magical mixture of mystery and mystique; but one thing is blatantly obvious – their sizzling sexual attraction!

I adored the relationships in this story – from Bella and her Gran, who is funny, adorable and wise, to more subtle ones, like Edward’s love of his brother, who is constantly on his mind and influences his thoughts and decisions. There is also a memorable and delightful love/hate relationship that Edward has for his deep red, 1967 convertible Chevy Chevelle SS…

This story has so many layers, so much depth and all of it written with a delicate balance of humour and pathos.

*Made by Jaime Arkin*

*made by Jaime Arkin*


*Review by Gingerandgreen*

Meet The Masens by FictionFreak95

*Made by carano*

*made by CaraNo*

Meet The Masens ~ Edward Cullen was done with cons until Marcus Volturi pulled him back in for one more job with his new front man, Bella Swan. Edward wants out for good but in a world based on deceit, who can he trust? AH, BxE possible lemons if they don’t kill each other first.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Crime/Humor – Edward & Bella – Chapters: 24 – Words: 148,978 – Reviews: 3,767 – Favs: 2,175 – Follows: 1,555 – Updated: 02-11-12 – Published: 05-13-11 – Status: Complete – id: 6987169

Many stories, even really good ones, become something of a blur in my mind over time. There are always a few that stay sharp in my memory, whether it’s because of a dramatic story line, a cast of extraordinary characters, a distinctive style or a unique blend of genre – humour, angst, drama, romance, steamy erotica, crime, mystery and pathos (for example).

Yes, Meet the Masens satisfies every single one of those criteria.

This is one of those stories in which the prologue could almost be a chapter from a different story, it is so far removed from where the characters begin. For ages, the reader is left wondering how FictionFreak is going to get us *there* – from a point at which Edward is thinking:

Bella’s face seemed pleasant enough, but it wasn’t the one that I remembered. It wasn’t the one she wore when her guard was down or hell, even the one when she was being a smart ass. It was just…pleasant.The man who sat at the opposite end of the twelve person table seemed…new.It was freezing outside and I pulled the collar of my freshly purchased trench coat around my neck to keep the wind from flowing down the back of my shirt.Their voices were mostly mumbles through the glass plane, but I could still hear what was being said when he asked her, “Coffee, babe?”


My face contorted.

She hated that word.

In fact, I distinctly remembered the first and only time I’d ever called her that.

Almost the only time, anyway.

She’d narrowed her eyes at me, balled up her fists and then knee’d me.

Right in the nuts.

It was brilliant.

I had swelling the next day and a bruise on my balls that lasted a week.

I laughed at the memory, but my smile immediately disintegrated as I watched her beam over at him with the fakest of happy grins, telling him, “Sure thing darling.”

It’s obvious this isn’t going to be your average Edward and Bella fairy tale, isn’t it? It takes extraordinary skill to write a story that has you laughing until you cry in one chapter, and crying until you laugh in the next. I can’t even begin to explain the storyline for you without giving anything away, you are just going to have to read it if you haven’t before. Go and meet the completely messed up Masens, and hold onto your hat for the ride.


*Reviews by Ilovealion*

Stay by FictionFreak95

*Made by Melissa Melton*

*made by Melissa Melton*

Stay ~ Sometimes a blast from your past is exactly what you need to ignite your future. AH, BxE.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance – Edward & Bella – Chapters: 9 – Words: 44,215 – Reviews: 1,922 – Favs: 1,095 – Follows: 1,451 – Updated: 01-31-13 – Published: 12-05-12 – Status: Complete – id: 8767352

Stay is a great E&B fic that starts with a bang (literally… they get it on in a broom closet). Lol

It’s a quick read at only nine chapters, but don’t let its brevity fool you.  Stay is a well-rounded story with wonderful character development and just enough of a plot twist to keep you guessing without driving you mad.

I love that every chapter features a glimpse into the characters’ past. These snippets give the reader a sense of who Edward and Bella were twenty years ago… before their untimely separation. 😦

No fears, though. This is a reunion story!

FictionFreak95 writes a tenacious yet free-spirited Bella who isn’t afraid to go after her dreams and a rigid, workaholic Edward who needs his childhood Bellabee to show him how to truly live. Thankfully, in the end, they both realize that their happiness will “stay” as long as they’re together.

Overall, Stay is a fantastic quick-fic that is completely satisfying, so go give it a try.


My Life, My Love, My Heart by  FictionFreak95

*Made by FIctionFreak95*

*made by FictionFreak95*

My Life, My Love, My Heart ~ ONE SHOT: Based on a very bad day dream. When tragedy strikes, how will you deal with it? AH, BxE Uber Angst.

Twilight – Rated: M – English – Tragedy/Angst – Chapters: 1 – Words: 2,157 – Reviews: 87 – Published: 8-24-10 – Bella & Edward – Complete

My Life, My Love, My Heart, a one-shot posted in 2010, is almost prophetic. It portrays a typical “day in the life” of the average mother, but ends with a loss that, unfortunately, hits close to home for this mom of four. Given the recent tragic events here in the US, this story is even more poignant than when it was first posted.

FictionFreak could have been sitting in my living room watching our typical morning unfold as she wrote the beginning of this story. Her words are so very true to life that you can’t help but identify with her Bella from the very start. That’s one reason this story is so touching. The reader can easily put herself in Bella’s shoes… and weep with her.

I won’t elaborate more.

FictionFreak’s range of writing is exemplified by this heart-wrenching tale, so I hope you will take the time to experience it. xoxo


*T-shirt Dick would appreciate*

*T-shirt Dick would appreciate*

From scripts and dips to Dicks and Swans – the choices are endless, so get your Freak on!

The FicSix



Filed under Edward A M Cullen, Fan Fiction Friday, Fan Fiction Friday Author Spotlight, Fan Fiction Recs, FFF Library, FFF Posts, Rob Pattinson, Twilight, Writing

49 responses to “Meet The FictionFreak

  1. OMG, the one and only lovely Jo!! What a great post. I’m so glad to see her getting some love for her wonderful works. She is one of the fandom’s amazing writers and is such a wonderful and supportive reader as well. Her reviews never fail to make you smile and that’s partly because i’m fan-girling and thinking “oh, my goodness FrictionFreak is reading my stuff.” LOL. Thank you, Jo for sharing your amazing imagination with us. We love you!

  2. oilily2001

    What a great post! Thanks!
    I’m normally only a little lurker here, but I had to post after reading this.
    The Dick was one of my first fanfics to read and I literally stumbled upon it. A coincidence…or should I say fate? I knew nothing about fanfiction, I simply wanted to read more about Bella and Edward. Like Jo I was very confused back then. But the Dick had me hooked immediately. He will always have a special place in my heart and he’s one of my all-time-favorite Edwards out there. I love him to no end! He’s such an adorable ass!
    And all the others fics mentioned above are also real masterpieces. Vines was extraordinaire! And The Playdate – OMG, so sweet!
    So, I have to end my rambling…FictionFreak95 is one of the greatest authors in fanfiction-world and I hope she doesn’t quit writing all to soon! Thank you so much for sharing your stories with us!
    xoxo Oilily

    • *waves to oilily2001
      You are very welcome oilily and thanks for commenting. I’m sure it was Fate that helped you find the work of FF95 LOL.

      I agree FictionFreak95 is one of the greatest authors out there, and she is really lovely to chat to also. The complete deal!

      Happy Meet The FicFreak Friday oilily2001!

    • Hi oilily2001, so glad you commented, welcome! And thank you for sharing your lovely thoughts. I agree Dick will always be one of m favourites Edwards, as well! xx

  3. Hi All!

    What an honour it is to have FictionFreak95 with us this week! Jo has written some brilliant stories and no matter what I always love her Edwards to bits. Thanks Jo, for sharing your fab talent with us!

    I still have a couple of Jo’s stories to read – which is something to look forward to!

    Have a great weekend, everyone! AV x

  4. Thank you so much for letting me walk down Fiction Freak’s memory lane!!! She is an icon in the foundation of our fandom and most definitely deserves her own chapter in our history. I truly appreciate her and her work. I read most of her great stories when I first found this wonderful world of fiction several years ago. She certainly knows how to tell a story!!! Your post makes me want to reread all of them and review (because as shy as I was in the beginning I can almost promise that I didn’t review)!! Again, thank you for writing this post!

    • Happy FictionFreak Friday sparkledamnu!

      I enjoyed my walk down FicionFreak lane too sparkledamnu. I know it’s silly, but I actually wished I had not read all these stories as I wanted them to be all ahead of me again LOL. I agree, I think some re-reading is in order.

      Thanks for sharing your thoughts sparkledamnu.

    • Hey sparkledamnu! I would have been exactly the same – when I first started reading fanfic, I didn’t quite understand the whole reviewing thing and I am pretty sure I didn’t review Dick for Hire, as he was one of my very first forays into the Fabulous World of Fic.. Better fix that! A x

    • Thank you for stopping by sparkledamnu, I enjoyed every minute of my Jo reminiscing, too! xx

  5. Holy. Mother. Of… There’s absolutely no way in hell I would be able to espresso how I feel right now, ladies. Thank you so fucking much for all these words. You make me feel like a natural woman – I mean writer. Seriously… thank you. This means way beyond any words. I love you to death! : ) And I sincerely appreciate to the ends of the Universe, you all wanting to do this.

    • Hey Jo *waves madly* Thank you so much for dropping by! I know all the FicSix would agree with me when I say it was an honour!! Thank you for sharing yourself with us!! A x

      • Hi Jo! It was also a great pleasure. We had such fun reliving old memories and chatting about the fics.

        Thank you for the many happy hours of reading you have brought us.

        I hope you have a fabulous FicFreak Friday!

    • Jo, you are so very welcome! You know I adore you and all your stories, that is no secret, lol. It truly was an honour to spotlight you and your work! And I agree with Cared, it was so much fun to revisit Dick and the gangs … and I can’t wait for what you have next for us! xoxo

    • ilovealion

      Hi Jo.
      You rock. Your stories rock. We’re just glad to have the forum to recognize phenom writers like you. Thanks for sharing your talent with all the Twi fandom and giving us the Edward and Bella fix that we STiLL seem to crave after all these years. Thanks for writing!! Truly.

  6. kleomary

    Hello Ladies!! Lovely interview, even for someone like me that has very little knowledge of how FFN works in general, FictionFreak is a well known great author !! I was recently enjoying her story “Stay”.
    I remember reading “Vines” and “Meet the Masens” before I even create an account on FFN, I did not know how the site work back then,I thought you had to be a writer yourself to have an account etc…… as for “Dick for Hire” I have not read it ….yet, but I am sure I will.
    Thank you, you all have a nice weekend!!

    • Hey kleomary! Believe me, you are not the only one to flounder a bit in your early days in the fandom. I didn’t have accounts for a long time either, I just checked my bookmarked stories for updates. I also thought only other writers reviewed and had accounts.

      Do yourself a favour kleomary, read Dick this weekend and then please tell us how much you love him, You won’t be able to help yourself LOL. The Edward in Cullen Unscripted is another fabulous Edward I’m sure you would enjoy.

      Happy Reading kleomary!

      • kleomary

        Oh God the memories from the early days ……good old days LOL 🙂

        Well…It looks like I would be dealing with a Dick this weekend…LMAO!!
        Thank you girls!!!!

    • Hi kleomary, thank you, glad you enjoyed the interview, and please, after you read Dick, share your thoughts with us; he really is a one-of-a-kind Edward! Have a lovely weekend! xx

      • kleomary

        Thank you Midnight Cougar! I will most certainly share my thoughts.
        Have a lovely weekend,too!!

      • kleomary

        Hi Ladies,
        As I said I will share my thoughts after I read Dick, I would like to say that I loved it!!! The story was awsome, smart-witty-funny …and Dick was….yeah…one-of-a-kind!!! I just couldn’t stop licking….erm sorry… reading every word that came out of his mouth or mind!!! LOL
        Jo is an excellent author, and I cannot wait to read some of her stories that I haven’t yet!!
        Thank you all once again!!!

  7. Not much else I can say that hasn’t already been said by this amazing author. I guess if I had to pick my favorite story from her, BESIDES Dick For Hire, because I can’t leave that one behind, being my first story from her that I read. I would have to say Meet the Masons. Love that story so much…

    I have featured that story and Blind Spot on my blog post, so I am definitely a huge fan of Jo’s work. I can’t believe I missed that Stay was completed! That will be the next story I read for sure. I also didn’t realize how many One Shots she’s written. Lots to read…:)

  8. It truly was an honour, and so much fun, for us to put this post together. As I said before, I am a huge fan of Jo’s work, and want to thank her again for everything she has given us to read! ❤ xx

  9. You couldn’t have picked a better, more talented person to focus on, in my opinion. The Dick is what drew me in to her writing and then I was lucky enough to become her friend during Vines, something of a departure from her usual style, but flat out brilliant and showed what a great writer she is. And then Blind Spot. Dear lord, I have such a soft spot in my heart for Grumpy, Little Bird, and Garrett. The three of them have really stuck with me long after the story finished.

    She is truly the very best parts of all of her characters – hilarious funny and snarky, kind, supportive, and loving. OK, maybe I’m a little biased, but that doesn’t make any of it less true. Thanks for spotlighting her!

    • Hello SueBee0619! Vines is one of my favourite of Jo’s. I can remember reading an update on my phone at 7am while on a train to work, and nearly missing my stop as I was so engrossed.

      I think we are all a little biased, but as you say, that doesn’t make it less true.

      Happy FicFreak Friday to you SueBee0619!

    • Thank you for commenting, Sue! And I may be a bit biased, as well, lol, but I meant every word we said about Jo! xx

  10. christa64c

    Is it a surprise that FictionFreak has written many of my favorite stories? No! Swimming With the Swan, Penal Code, Meet the Masen’s are all in my top favorites. But it’s a damn embarrassing that I haven’t read Dick for Hire yet! However I intend to to rectify that this weekend.
    FictionFreak, thank you for sharing your thoughts and your talent with us. And thank you Robattack for bringing her to us.

  11. eewee333

    Hi Ladies (waves like a crazy woman). Another fantastic FicFriday post. I do love FF95. Her stories are wonderful. Cullen Unscripted is one of my faves. I have not read Penal Code or Blind Spot, but they are on my TBR list. I may have to bump them up to the top of the list after reading this. Have a wonderful weekend. 🙂

  12. eewee333, are you jumping up and down? There are more completes here than you can shake a stick at LOL.

    Happy FicFreak Friday eewee333!

  13. It’s lovely to see so many complimentary comments about FictionFreak95, she really is one of our fandom’s treasures. I agree with everything you’ve got to say!

    It was so much fun to take another look at her fics, those of you who haven’t experienced The Dick-get on it NOW! It’s got everything!

    …and it’s worth checking Jo’s blog for the banners and pretty!

  14. Oh how I love Jo and her work!! Meet the Masens was one of my first Jo fics and I loved every line of it. I still can’t go to a BBQ without thinking about these two! lol And the Dick, sigh. I’ve told Jo before how I put off reading this story because I thought it was about a male escort! LMAO. But once I succumbed to the Dick I could not stop reading. Imagine my surprise when I learned today there was a Ghost Hunter outtake I’ve never read! *going there next* And I’m so excited that there are still a few more FictionFreak fics for me to read!! This post has got me wanting to read them all NOW.

    Jo, thank you so much for sharing your love and talent with us. You are an author that I look up to when doing my own work. And your kindhearted spirit is a wonderful addition to your talent as well. Love you!

  15. keyecullen

    Awesome post about all things FictionFreak! Her stories completely ROCK and have provided with countless hours of entertainment. Her sense of humor slays me.

  16. You are not alone there keyecullen, and thanks, it was great fun for us to put together.

    Have a great reading weekend!

  17. Just a short note to all you lovely people who stopped by to leave these sweet comments – THANK. YOU. so much. I’m a broken record but honestly don’t know what else to say here. You all are fantastic. 🙂 This fandom has giving me so many good reads and so many good friends and I will forever hold it in my heart for that. @eewee… yes ma’am. always writing. 😉 THANKS AGAIN guise! HAPPY WEEKEND!!!!

  18. So Glad we get to give the authors some much deserved public lovin and that we get to know them a little bit better! Thanks for sharing Jo FicFreak and Thanks to the sexy six !!

  19. I knew there was a reason I liked you (besides your wonderful stories). “What in life are you most passionate about? Ellipses.” YES!! I am an ‘ellipsis Nazi’ when I beta stories.

  20. How wonderful to read an interview about someone who sooooo deserves every kind, sweet and thoughtful word written about her.

    Jo/FictionFreak95 is a gem. A true fandom warrior. A generous reviewer. A golden-pen-temptress and an all round crazy-ass, cracks me up and leaves me cackling, smokin’ lady!

    Great to see her getting some love and recognition for the amazing work she does.

    Love your face, Jo!

  21. Pingback: Revised and Brand-New Fanfic (the Fan Fiction Revolution) Part 5 | FanFiction Fridays

  22. Pingback: MISSION MILITARYWARD | Rob Attack

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