Sensual Sunday ~ Dear Rita!

Wet Rob Avi


You are NOT goin’ to believe this…hell’n you coulda knocked me over with a feather then this arrived in my RA in-box the other day!

Was this for real? Is someone pullin’ my leg?

Stranger things have happened, I guess, but WTF?

Dear Rita,

I hope you don’t mind me writing to you like this, but I’ve had such a bad week that I needed some advice.


First of all, just when I thought I was managing to snag myself some interesting roles out of the shadow of Edward Cullen, they go and drop me from Unbound Captives for being too manly and not Edward Cullenish enough! Bloody Hell, Rita! You’ve seen my long, bendy fingers and wonky legs…Do they look overly manish to you?

MySexyVampire_RememberMe OnSet

Then they go and nominate me for Worst Actor at the Razzies. Still, at least I didn’t win that one (but I do think they should have had a separate category for that bloody itchy wig I had to wear )!


Rita, I feel I’ve known you long enough that you’ll give it to me straight…well, you did offer something like that the last time I was in the RROP with you, remember? Do you think my fans will still love me after Twilight?


I’m sorry to be a bit of a Whinging Pom about it all but, what with the heat out here, and spending my nights watching reruns of Only Fools and Horses and Fawlty Towers, I think I might be feeling a tad homesick.


Yours Sincerely,


Somewhere in the outback of Australia


(Sorry, can’t say more…you know how the paps are.)


{Rita bites down hard on her knuckles, squeeein’ herself blue in the face as silently as possible, and grabs an industrial strength ShamWow to sit on!}

Dear Rob,

You know you can write to me {or anything else you might want to do to me *THUD!*} anytime you want, darlin’!

SoapyMayhem xxx

Just remember that turnabout is fair play!

KerryDelaney xxx

Sweetheart, you were still just a kid when those people approached you for Unbound Captives. Your Edward Cullen, gangly 109 year old teenager, persona may have been how they saw you back then…

RobertPattinsonBTSx - Copy

but, honey, you’re all MAN now!

Francies67 532

So, let Zach Efron play Unbound Captives. We want to see you play the Sexy Beast we all know you are. I hear there’s a great movie in the works that needs a leadin’ man and we all think you’d be perfect for the part. It’s a rather large role and the lead character’s name is Christian. Perhaps you’ve heard of it…Fifty Shades of Grey?

MelbieToast Details color

As for the Razzies, your ridiculous wig absofuckinlutely deserved to be in the Razzie Hall of Fame, but that has nothing to do with your actin’. Don’t listen to those f*cktards who put that shit out there, baby! Your massive fanbase knows you are an amazin’ actor. WE will NOT be surprised to see you takin’ home an Oscar someday instead of presentin’ one to someone less deservin’!

Stars arrive for 81st Academy Awards

Rob, you can always count on  me to give it to you hard and straight…

Time to play

and believe me when I say your fanWOMEN, hOOrs and Angelz will follow you unto the ends of the Earth!


Now, I know it’s been hot as hell in the Land Down Under, so just get yourself back here to the RRoP as soon as you get home…I’ve got just the thing to cool you down *gigglesnort!*

ICE CUBE copia

Feel better now, darlin’!

BIG Rob 021

I’ll take that as a “yes!” LMAO!!!

Happy Sunday, y’all!


Super huge thanks to ClaireBamboozle {Rob’s letter} and RF {BIG help with responses}!!!

Night Raider


Filed under Rita01tx, Robert Pattinson, Sensual Sunday

24 responses to “Sensual Sunday ~ Dear Rita!

  1. edwardsvamptramp69

    Oh Rita, Darlin’! You always manage to make me laugh Sunday mornings when I’m up at the ass crack of dawn getting ready for work while the masses are still tucked under their covers dreaming of The Pretty. *sigh* I love the way your pervy mind works (and the pics and GIF’s are just perfect)!

    Happy sinday, Love!


    • rita01tx

      Hope it kinda makes up for missin’ last Sunday, Paula darlin’!
      Sure was glad Claire and RF jumped in to help get this idea pulled into shape LOL!
      Sorry you have to dash off to work on a freakin’ Sunday, but come on back laters, K?

  2. oh Rita this post is all kinds of win – wish Rob is reading this down under and laughing his ass off at us pervy hoors 😉

  3. mississippibellalis

    To: Robert Pattinson
    C/O Rob Attack (Rita01TX)

    Dear Rob,
    As a loyal fan that will “follow you unto the ends of the earth” I just want you to know that whatever role you appear in is fine with me. I enjoy your performances, they never get old.

    Hearing that you lost the role in ‘Unbound Captives’ is probably a blessing in disguise. I’m glad you no longer appear as a gangly teenager but rather a strong young man. Your manly charm will take you to wonderful places in your career.

    I don’t pay attention to the unimportant stuff in life so I didn’t know about the Razzies until my taxi driver told me the other day. Really, I don’t pay any mind to people who are ________________(fill in the blank).

    Will we, your fans, follow you after Twilight? Yes, we will, sweetheart! You’ve captivated us and we are senselessly bound to you. Anything you want, anywhere you go, we will be there for you.

    And, so, in final thought, enjoy your life, have fun, and may many blessings come your way!

    Your fan always,

    • rita01tx

      Bravo, Missi darlin’! Exactly so! And, as much as we miss him right now, I hope he’s havin’ the time of his life bashin’ around the Outback with those crazy Aussies!!!

      • mississippibellalis

        I agree! As the saying goes: “All work and no play…” Have some fun for all of us pervy girls, too, Rob!!!

        • rita01tx

          Just saw on Robsessed that The Rover will wrap on March 16th! Only 13 more days before Rob gets to come home, unless he has to go straight to Morocco {or Jordan} to start filmin’ Mission: Blacklist! Hopefully, he gets a breather first {fingers crossed}!

  4. samiwm69

    This is just amazing …. I Flove it!! It has cheered miserable Sunday up!!
    Thank you. 🙂

  5. Clairebamboozle

    Hi Rita, funny as hell BB.
    Hope if Rob is reading this he takes it in the spirit it was intended, (The perfect excuse for us to do some major pervin over his gorgeous sexy self.)
    Rob is always going to be number one in my book, no one else even comes close.
    Fabulous pics and gifs

    • rita01tx

      Findin’ just the right pics and gifs can be frustratin’ but, when they all come together like this, it just tickles me to death! We all know Rob has a wacky sense of humor, so I’d like to think he sees it as the flattery it’s meant to be! We love his sweet ass {and everything else about him} and how the hell else can be show him, right?
      Huge HUGS for writin’ his crazy letter MWAH!!!

  6. kleomary

    Oh Rita I loved it, thank you!!!!This is so perfect and I agree with everything you wrote back to Rob LOL
    Is there even a question if we are going to follow him after Twilight? I mean we are Rob’s fans and everyone out there knows better than to even consider such a question!
    Loved the pictures and gifs girls, good job!! Happy Sunday!!

  7. christa64c

    Rob never has to worry about losing me. Sure I would have stood in line to see him wear a loincloth. But then again, I’d stand in line to watch him pick his nose. He has such an exciting calendar of work coming up int he next year, we’re all going to be very, very happy!

    After watching him in Cosmopolis, there should be no doubt whatsoever that his acting skills far exceed what we saw in Twilight. He gets better with every role!

    • rita01tx

      He sure does, Christa darlin’! Watched Cosmopolis again the other day and DAYUM he’s good…incredibly good! I.Was.RIVITED!!!
      Sure, he will be out of sight most of the year filmin’ but, as you say, we will reap the rewards of all this hard work and I can’t WAIT to see him stun the whole world!!!

  8. Sus

    OMG, Rita! You totally made my Sunday! Great post and of course, the reply. Love the pics and gifs. We need Rob to come home. Guess 2 more weeks?
    Love ya, Sus

    • rita01tx

      ‘Bout that, yeah! MBL starts filmin’ some time in April so he should have a few weeks off before he’s off again!

  9. Great post rita & clairebear. glad you finally found the right pics. Wasn’t having much luck with my sleepy bwains.

    And i don’t know why rob would worry so about not getting the part in unbound captives it’s much better this way, i mean aren’t we all ROB’S Unbound Captives<> forever? LOL

    • rita01tx

      True facts, BB! Plus there are other…better Westerns waitin’ for him down the line, I’ll bet! I’d LOVE to see The Pretty’s pretty ass in a saddle LMAO!!!

  10. Rita, Rob is SO lucky to have you…and so are we! Creative and pretty and sweet and fun! xx

    • rita01tx

      Daaaw! Flattery will get you everywhere, Born darlin’! LMAO!!!
      Rob brings out the best in all of us, each in a different way…this is just my way!

  11. eewee333

    Dear Rob, You’ll never lose us! I do have a suggestion for you though, call Icy right away and tell her you’re ready to take on the role that was written for you. And whatever you do, DON’T let them cover up your beautiful hair with a stupid wig! Love always and forever, E.

    Dear Rita, Thanks for all the beautiful pictures of our Rob. The one close-up with his beautiful blue eyes just turned me into a puddle of goo. Lovely post, as always. 🙂

    • rita01tx

      *Snickers!* Good thing his hair grows out fast, Eewee darlin’! From what little we’ve seen from The Rover, there’s very little of it right now LOL! I’m assumin’ he’ll be buzzed altogether for MBL, which starts in April.
      Did you click Sally’s edit to full screen? Talk about WOW!!! Don’t now what magic she uses, but I could wallow around in her stash of edited RobPorn all the live long day!

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