Random Rita ~ When Edward’s Clever Plan Backfires!

Wet Rob Avi

Good afternoon, ladies!

Ramblin’ through my TBR this mornin’, I came across a fic I only planned on “tastin'” before snaggin’ the story I actually meant to rec today.

Silly Rita!

This author hooked me good and is busily reelin’ me in, even as we speak!

Rob Attack


COMPLETE! When Edward takes Bella into the forest to dump her, her reaction completely surprises him. Will this be the end of B&E or will they find a new path to forever? A canon-based yet very different AU approach to New Moon. Some OOC and OC.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Drama – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 53 – Words: 242,580 – Reviews: 2,360 – Favs: 1,170 – Follows: 1,094 – Updated: Jul 6, 2013 – Published: Dec 12, 2011 – Status: Complete – id: 7630525

You’d think a story about Edward dumpin’ Bella’s ass in the forest would be chock full of angsty goodness but I’m sorry…I’m laughin’ my ass off and I’m only on chapter 3!

So far, Edward does the whole “you’re just not good for me” speech expectin’ Bella to whine and beg. NOT! She gets royally pissed off and tells him what he can do with his archaic, controllin’ attitude before stormin’ off back home, leavin’ Edward with his jaw on the floor!!!

Last bit I’ve read, Bella’s at school the next day expectin’ never to see Edward or the Cullens again. NOT!

This is gonna be so much fun…you guys really need to take this trip with me!!!


Oh, and because I love you all so much…

Happy Friday, y’all!


Night Raider



Filed under Bad lip reading, Fan Fiction Recs, Just For Shizz and Giggles, Rita01tx

17 responses to “Random Rita ~ When Edward’s Clever Plan Backfires!

  1. bevey99

    hahahahahahahah -lip reading FTW!!!!!!!!

  2. ClaireBamboozle

    Love the bad lip reading. Great to start the weekend with a giggle.
    Hugs xx

  3. naughtyhisbella

    OMFG! My hubby and son think I’m crazy from all the laughing out loud. Thank you for this, Rita! You’re a n angel! I’m off to check out Serenity Prayer. Thanks for the rec!

    • rita01tx

      Oh, Naughy darlin’! I assume that, like me, you wear earphones so’s not to disturb the rest of the household LOL! DH just shakes his head at me me nowadays…he’s gotten used to my sudden outbursts of hilarity *gigglesnort!*

  4. eewee333

    Fabulous and funny post Rita darling! I’ve just sat here for the past 30 minutes watching bad lip reading for Twilight, New Moon, etc which led to everything wrong with Twilight, New Moon, etc. Totally hilarious.

    I have been reading a little bit this week, mostly Windchymes’ stories. The Keepsake was great and now I’m onto Blood Lines. But so many good stories have completed recently…what to do, what to do?

    Have a wonderful weekend!! RobHugs and kisses, E 🙂

    • rita01tx

      Windchymes has the best stories, doesn’t she, Eewee darlin’?
      The Keepsake is definitely in my Top Ten list. Haven’t gotten to Blood Lines yet so please let me know what you think when you’ve finished, okay?
      You have a great weekend, too, hon! *Squishy bewb hugs!*

    • I just re-read Blood Lines too! What a beautiful journey! And I re-read SE last week! Super fun! I def loves me some Vampward!

      • rita01tx

        You’n me both, Robbie Elise darlin’! Lookin’ forward to Blood Lines now that you’ve given it the thumbs up, too LOL!

  5. christa64c

    I love it when a plan comes together! But it’s even better when Edward’s carefully constructed plan falls apart and he’s left scratching his head trying to figure out what went wrong. When Edward, ‘mooned’ us and Bella by leaving her in the forest for her own good. I was PISSED! Ladylibre was able to write the reaction from Bella that made sense. Stuff that in your shoe and wear it Edward! Now you have to work to get your love back and we all get to watch you grovel. LOL

    Stellar post as always Rita!

    • rita01tx

      IKR? He did NOT see that comin’, did he Christa darlin’ LMAO! Unfortunately, I got stuck half way through Serenity’s Prayer and had to put it on pause because Ally Vera has he readin’ The Submissive by Tara Sue Me…finally! Can’t believe I’ve put it off for so many years LOL! Now I won’t be able to do ANYTHING until I finish the whole trilogy…THANKS, ALLY!!!

  6. Rita, Serenity’s Prayer has been near the top of my TBR list for a while, but your rec pushes it over the top. Obviously I haven’t “tasted” it myself, because I didn’t realize it was funny – good news! I will most definitely take this trip with you.

    And re Blood Lines, oh my gosh I have to take a deep breath. Anything by Windchymes is pure gold in my book. I’m not particularly baby-oriented, but this story won me over. If you enjoy Daddywards, you MUST treat yourself to this story. And if like me you’re kind of “meh” about them, this one will change your mind.

    Somewhere I came across a rec for a story called “Breakdown”, and upon searching for it found two very different but equally wonderful AU fics with that name. The first one, by the always terrific Aleeb4u, is a short story about pre-wedding Bella and Edward dealing with the unresolved baggage from his New Moon desertion:
    Equal parts angst and sweetness and heat. A gem!

    The second is the first story by a new author, Felicity Deadwood:
    I’m still reading this one, also a New Moon variation, that begins on a very dark note. Rosalie and Alice have a surprising role, and all the Cullens are well drawn. I love that she takes her time developing how Bella was affected and whether/how she recovers. Her psychological insights are breathtaking.

    Ooh, The Submissive is a good side track to be on! My favorites were The Dominant (because who doesn’t want to hear from Edward?) and the Training.

    Haven’t been able to watch the video yet, but tomorrow I’ll be where I have better internet connectivity, so I look forward to it. Thanks for sharing!

    • rita01tx

      Thanks for the recs, Renee darlin’! I have actually read both Breakdowns, the most recent being Felicity’s…which I loved loved loved!!!
      ps: I’m not all that sure Serenity’s Prayer was supposed to be funny…it just struck me funny LOL! Either way you look at it, it’s a good read!

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