Random Rita ~ Friday Feature Fics!


Wet Rob Avi

Afternoon ladies!

This mornin’, a little birdie told me our sweet Naughtyhisbella had an electrical fire at her house!

I’m pleased to report no one was hurt but my fingers are crossed hopin’ the damage wasn’t enough to make her…

{Ladysmith Black Mambazo / artwork by Bernard Ndichu Njuguna}

Homeless, homeless
Moonlight sleeping on a midnight lake
Homeless, homeless
Moonlight sleeping on a midnight lake
We are homeless, we are homeless
The moonlight sleeping on a midnight lake
And we are homeless, homeless, homeless
The moonlight sleeping on a midnight lake

What a coincidence! Homeless Edward is the theme for today’s recs LOL!

Searchin’ through my TBR, I was actually surprised at the number of fics where either Edward or Bella, or both, found themselves homeless for one reason or another! I’m bettin’ you’ve all read at least one but have you read these?

Rob Attack

{banner by FallingsnowWinter}


Bella has been blessed with the finer things in life. She has always been focused on what she has and never understanding that money doesn’t buy you everything. It will take one stupid bet and a homeless man to teach her what really is important in life. Can Edward get through to snobby Bella Swan and show her what she has been missing? AH HEA Mature.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Humor – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 26 – Words: 121,040 – Reviews: 1,066 – Favs: 606 – Follows: 785 – Updated: Sep 8 – Published: May 10 – Status: Complete – id: 10336818

What I loved most about IBACULLEN’s story were some of the epic snarkfests between Edward and Bella!

“Hey you.” I called.

“Is that you…Richie Bitch?” He looked me over, “What happened to you?”

“What do you mean?”

“You just look like a box of crayons that’s been out in the sun too long.” He smirked.

“Screw you, dude. I have had a really bad morning. You have no idea how hard it is to work all morning in the hot sun and still have nothing to show for it.”

Homeless dude shook his cup at me, “No…I have no idea how that is. Please enlighten me.”

“That’s not what I mean. Ugh…never mind, anyways I just wanted to stop and tell you that you’re wrong about me. I’m not as big of a…Richie Bitch as you thought. I gave a homeless man a thousand dollars the other night. He didn’t ask me for it, I just gave it to him…on Sunset Boulevard, in the middle of traffic…so there.”

“Really?” He asked taken aback.

“Don’t believe me?”

“No…I believe you…I know that man you gave that money to. He came into the soup kitchen with tears in his eyes and then gave that thousand dollar bill to the owners.”

“What? Why would he do that? I gave him that money so that he could do something with it.” I exclaimed.

“He did do something with it. He gave back because…the soup kitchen has always been there for him and he wanted to repay the debt.”

I slumped against the car completely flabbergasted shaking my head.

“You don’t think he did the right thing?” he asked.

“No! I mean, he could have rented a cheap motel for a couple of days and had a real meal instead of some slop from a soup kitchen. I should have given it to someone else.”

“Most people would feel happy hearing that their money went to a good cause…most people think that you give a homeless man money, he’ll just go and spend it on liquor.”

“Yea, I suppose that liquor would be worse. Anyway, I have a lot of work to get done…I should get going.”

“Work? Finally decided to not live off your parents?” he questioned.

“No…I just…have a project I’m working on. I’m sure to you it’s stupid but to me it’s…personal.”

“What project? Is that the reason why you look like a paint pallete?”

“I don’t want to tell you, you’ll just think it’s stupid and shallow. I’ve had enough judging from you for a day.”

“Uh…Miss, that’s all you do of me. Just tell me the project. I will try not to make you feel bad about yourself.”

I rolled my eyes and still don’t know why I am standing here talking to this man, especially out in the open where we can be seen.

“I made a bet with a friend and the stakes are really high.” I sighed.

He waits for me to continue.

Believe me…this was just the tip of the iceberg LMAO!


Rob Attack


EPOV, Homeless Edward is down on his luck when he meets a girl who is a breath away from joining his homeless status. Can they save each other?

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Humor – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 46 – Words: 116,203 – Reviews: 1,852 – Favs: 1,228 – Follows: 599 – Updated: May 2, 2012 – Published: Jun 30, 2011 – Status: Complete – id: 7133208

Poor Edward can’t catch a break when it comes to his initial encounters with Bella LMAO!

When the light changed, I crossed the street and headed out to get dinner. I got my sandwich to go because I didn’t like the way people looked at me or cringed away from me when I sat in the restaurant. I was walking back to my night spot with my dinner bag when some headlights blinded me. I put my hand up squinting, unable to make out who it was or what they wanted.

“What’s in the bag?” I heard a woman’s voice ask.

“A double cheeseburger,” I answered because that was what it was.

“Throw it over here.”

“What? No, this is my dinner.”

“Fine, set it down and back away from it.”

“NO! I’m hungry, what the hell is your problem?”

“I have pepper spray,” she threatened.

I dropped my head in defeat. I didn’t have another shirt and it was too damn cold to wash it off at this time of night. The bitch had me. I set the bag down. “Come on, please, it’s my only dinner and I don’t have any more money.”

“Back away from the bag.”

“Please don’t take it,” I begged like a weak little girl.

“Take off your shirt.”

“What? Ma’am, I’m not that kind of person. I don’t just…”

“Shut up, take off your shirt, and hold your arms out.”

“It’s freezing cold tonight, Ma’am. Why are you doing this? You’ve got a car to sleep in.”

“Now!” she said holding up the pepper spray.

“Toss me your shirt and hold out your arms,” she demanded and I hesitated.

“Hurry up before you freeze your butt off,” she snapped. I tossed her my shirt and I noticed she sniffed it. She walked toward me cautiously. She was just out of arm’s reach and eyeing my arms. “Turn your hands up,” she commanded, so I did. “Now take off your shoes.”

“Look, you can have my sweater, but please leave me my shoes. They’re the only ones I have and they won’t even fit you.”

“Take them off now!” she snapped. I sighed and toed them off. “Your socks, too, and sit on the ground and stick your feet out. Do it now,” she commanded.

I dropped my head and pulled off my socks. To my surprise, she squatted down and looked at my toes. “You got some freaky toe fetish or something?” I asked annoyed.

“No,” she said and threw my sweater at me. I quickly put it back on, thankful that she gave it back. “Put your shoes back on. Where are you sleeping tonight?”

“What’s it to you? Are you going to try and steal my pack or something? Look, lady, whatever you want, just tell me now, okay?”

“Get in the truck and don’t try anything funny.”

“What? You’re kidnapping me?”

“Are you homeless?”

“What’s it to you?”

“Are you really willing to work?”

“Yeah, but I’m not a gigolo.”

“Shut up and get in the truck,” she commanded.

“Can I bring my dinner?” I asked.

You’ll have to read Home is Where You Are to find out just exactly what the hell Bella wanted our homeless Edward to do for her!

Rob Attack

{banner by Cared}


A homeless boy, hitch-hiking in the snow, a woman on her own, running from an abusive relationship. Is she crazy to stop, or are their paths destined to cross? Can this mismatched pair find succour and salvation together, or will their pasts intrude and drive them apart? AH, rated M. Two-times winner of The Lemonade Stand Fic of the Week Poll.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Hurt/Comfort – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 25 – Words: 125,139 – Reviews: 2,824 – Favs: 1,558 – Follows: 1,603 – Updated: Aug 3, 2013 – Published: Mar 2, 2013 – Status: Complete – id: 9061275

In Where Roads Converge, Bella literally saves Edward’s life by pickin’ him up while he’s tryin’ to hitchhike in the middle of a blizzard!

The first thing that occurred to her was how stupid she was to let a hitchhiker sit alone inside her car with the engine running.

This thought was totally overridden by the sight of said hitchhiker curled up in the passenger seat, his teeth clattering loudly as his body was wracked with uncontrollable and violent spasms—clearly, he would have been incapable of doing anything, let alone getting behind the wheel and driving away.

Hey, kid… hey, can you hear me?” she asked. She put her hand on his arm and was appalled to find that his leather jacket was waterlogged and freezing. Lowering her hand to his leg, which shook and jerked like he was suffering from St Vitus’ Dance, she soon realised that all his clothes were soaked through and that if he was going to survive he needed to get out of them.

“Kid… shit, what’s your name? You need to change out of these clothes. Do you understand me?”

“M-m-m-my n-n-name iiiis Eh-eh-eh-Edward,” he whispered, his teeth chattering so hard he could barely get the words out.

God, I loved this fic and sat for weeks bitin’ my nails waitin’ for each new update LOL!

So, what are your favorite “homeless” fics?

Happy Friday, y’all


Night Raider


Filed under Fan Fiction Recs, Rita01tx

21 responses to “Random Rita ~ Friday Feature Fics!

  1. naughtyhisbella

    Awww…we’re ok. Not homeless but it did enough damage to inconvenience us and was scary as hell. I’m off to work. I’ll be back later to check out these stories. Love you gals!! Xoxo

  2. Naughty, so happy to hear that you and yours are safe and well. Happy Friday ladies. I love Liz’s WTRC, fantastic read! Okay, so last week I finished up 30 Days of Darkness, and then because I was still craving the darkness, I opted for Shay Savage’s Tempt My Tounge. I read her super strong warning in the author’s note, but I still was shocked. After TMT, I needed some rainbows and sunshine so I took yours and Zveka’s recommendation and read The Decision by Windchymes. It was such a wonderful, lovely story. Just what I needed. Because I so enjoyed TD, I am currently reading her story, The Keepsake. So far it’s excellent.

    • rita01tx

      Lord have mercy, Kay darlin’! Anything written by Savage7289 is a brilliant read, especially her darker fics! I’m just glad Tempt My Tongue is still up on FFN! If she hasn’t gotten caught in a purge, she’s pullin’ to publish LMAO!
      Glad you liked The Decision as much as we did but The Keepsake has to be my favorite! I’ve read it several times, in fact. It’s that kind of fic…just won’t let you go when you’re done!!!

    • the Keepsake is beautiful story, I love Distraction too 🙂 all her stories are great 🙂

  3. bevey99

    Rita baby, have a couple of recs this week.
    planetblue and Rochelle Allison are back, and both their names in one week had me giddy. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10693749/1/Artful-Maneuvers Artful Maneuvers By: planetblue
    I needed to figure out who Edward Cullen was before he figured out me.
    She jumps right into this one with 2 chapters in one week.
    By: Rochelle Allison
    Bella, one week into a housesitting job, has an unexpected, late night visitor. Written using WitFits. Short. Drama and romance. And only 4 chapter in w/ 2 chapters a week as well.
    BOTH Awesome

    • rita01tx

      OMG Bev darlin’! I SAW that! Haven’t started Sear yet but I couldn’t resist Artful Maneuvers, especially when her Edward was described as havin’ one blue eye and one green eye like Qhuinn from The Black Dagger Brotherhood series by J.R. Ward!

      or maybe this guy *squeeee!*

      Huh?!?! Is that Henry Cavill?

  4. sandythestorm

    Oh my all good…which one to start Rita? Can you rank them without offense? Lol

    • rita01tx

      Well, it might not be fair, Sandy darlin’, but Where Roads Converge would be a first read {because Fluffy is my friend and it’s brilliant}, followed by Home is Where You Are {because it’s so well written} and The Lottery of Life {because it might not be perfectly written but it’s a gem of a fic}!

  5. ClaireBamboozle

    Wow, Rita, is it Friday again? They sure do sneak up on us 😉
    Thanks for bringing some poor homelesswards for us to take in and nurture. I love the look of Fluffy’s fic and have snagged it to my kindle for later.
    Hope you have a brilliant weekend.
    Hugs xx

  6. rita01tx

    Smartass! Like you don’t know I freaked out this mornin’ on google chat thinkin’ it was still Thursday LMAO!!!

  7. Aloha Rita from Big Island, you make my holidays difficult Rita, here I am on beautiful sunny island and you came with more stories to read! 🙂
    I read The Lottery of Life, there is now sequel to this story,

    I didn’t read the others, so they are on my TBR list 🙂

    here one other homeless Edward
    When Bella offers a vagabond a ride, her entire life is about to change. [In process of being rebeta’ed]
    Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Drama – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 36 – Words: 114,261 – Reviews: 683 – Favs: 495 – Follows: 283 – Updated: Nov 9, 2012 – Published: Jan 2, 2012 – Status: Complete – id: 7701998

    I love also The Blizzard by sheviking but this one is on hiatus 😦

    • rita01tx

      Aloha, Zveka darlin’! Wow! You’re so lucky to be vacationin’ in Hawaii *sigh!* Did you read Tip of the Spear by Robsmyyummy Cabanaboy before you went?
      The “tip of the spear” – in the military, they are the front line; the initial attack that draws first blood. As a CACO in the United States Marine Corps, Capt. Masen delivers that leading blow, too. He’s often faced with handling the collateral damage this life can bring. He’s accepted that love & commitment aren’t for him…until she opens the door.
      Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Drama – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 36 – Words: 238,971 – Reviews: 6,915 – Favs: 2,731 – Follows: 3,249 – Updated: May 31 – Published: Nov 6, 2012 – Status: Complete – id: 8677928
      Damn, that fic really made me wanna go there LOL!

      Thanks for your rec of The Vagabond! I see Ellen92 has 4 more stories on her profile that all look interestin’ and, best of all, they are COMPLETE!!!

      Enjoy your vacation, sweetie! MWAH!!!

  8. Followed your advice, Rita darlin’, and you were “spot on” as usual! I don’t usually read AH but decided to give “Where Roads Converge” a try…Guess what I’ve been doin’ for the last 12 hours? Or so….any who, I cried, laughed, punched pillows, and got a bit “horny”. (tmi?) So, yeah, I loved it! All the “Britishisms” were so fun to read, and I am about to start “Wild Child”, so see u in another day or so! And, I love you so much!

    • rita01tx

      Wild Child was Liz’s first fic… No, wait! Her first story was a brilliant one shot for Shay Savage’s “DIE, DADDY C, DIE” contest to see who could come up with the wildest way to get rid of Edward’s dad in Offsides…she took 3rd place with it!
      Heheheh *pinks a mirthful tear,* that was a fun contest LMAO!

      • Finished Wild Child…oh my, the lemony goodness! Those Brits are so much more comfy with their bodily parts & the various uses thereof, right? They also have a colorful way with the language-British? English? I feel like such a bloody minger here in Puritanical New England! lol Loved it!(although I did NOT like this E til he redeemed his bollocks!)

        • rita01tx

          Hahahaha! Well, Fluffy does, anyway, and settin’ the story in England took care of just such pesky problems other English authors have with tryin’ to write American fanfiction *cough*Clairebamboozle*cough!* Havin’ an American editor/beta {me} and prereader {KeyeCullen} certainly helps…we have to watch her like a hawk LMAO!
          As for Fluffy’s Edward, it was fun watchin’ him get the stick out of his arse *gigglesnort!*

        • ClaireBamboozle

          Hi Robbie, I don’t know about being more confident about body parts, I still get squicked out with some of the “raw” words like cl** – Rita is my Pervy Godmother, she magically adds them in for me when she edits, lol.
          You’re in New England, you lucky thing. I loved Bar Harbor and Rhode Island and Vermont and…I could go on, lol.

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