Random Rita ~ Friday Feature Fics!

Wet Rob Avi

Evenin’, ladies!

With any luck, you might have a little time between Christmas and New Years Eve to enjoy some fanfic goodness!

If not, you’ll at least have one to push straight to the top of your poor ol’ TBR!

It was first rec’d to me by Clairebamboozle through her friends at Perusing the Shelves way back in March but I only recently picked it up…and couldn’t put it down LOL!

Rob Attack


COMPLETE Edward left Bella, forcing his family to stay away from her. Six years onwards, the Cullens are a mess and Emmett decides to get away from his angst ridden family and let loose. What he finds in the meanest biker bar in Seattle will shock everyone.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Humor – Edward, Bella – Chapters: 40 – Words: 115,168 – Reviews: 1,694 – Favs: 1,858 – Follows: 704 – Updated: Dec 7, 2009 – Published: Jun 1, 2009 – Status: Complete – id: 5102709

Holy fucking shit. She was a waitress in the meanest bar in Seattle, talk about a danger magnet. I had to get her out of here. I watched her stroll over to me, balancing her tray with ease.

“What’ll it be, Bub?” she asked me.

I chose to sit in the dark corner so I didn’t bring attention to myself and, of course it has been six years since we saw each other; maybe she’d forgotten me. Ouch that would hurt.

“Bella?” I asked as my eyes swept over her.

The shock on her face was evident. I felt a smirk creep up my face. Wait till Eddie finds out what leaving Bella did to her. He is going to fer-lip. She saw the smirk too and before I realized what had happened, she brought the beer bottle she was holding down on my head. Glass shattered around my ears and despite the fact I barley felt it, I groaned.

Whoa, I can’t believe Bella just did that. Sweet innocent Bella, who was constantly blushing at anything slightly embarrassing had just… glassed me. She obviously had changed, this was gonna be fun. God, this was exactly what I needed.

Yup! Not exactly the shrinkin’ violet Edward left behind in the woods that night, is she? So, what happens now that the Cullens have found her, ’cause you know Em won’t be able to keep his big mouth shut LOL! Why, she follows them back to their new digs, of course!

I watched as they stepped into the street, Emmett lagging behind scuffing his shoes against the asphalt. I couldn’t help but laugh when Rose told him to get in the car and he sat down in the middle of the road and screamed, “I don’t wanna!”
Rose stormed over to him and twisted his ear yelling at him that four year olds behaved better than him. Once Rose had him in the Jeep she signaled to Jasper and Alice who were driving a silver Aston Martin Vantage and they sped off down the street. I ran down to where I stashed my bike and sped off after them hoping that some of that shock I laid on them earlier hadn’t worn off and they wouldn’t notice me following them. Luck was apparently on my side.

Just as she gets there, Edward opens the front door to do a runner and stops dead in his tracks!

“Hello Edward,” I purred.
Ooooh well done.

Bella’s plan is quite simple, really…

“I’m going to make your life a living hell, Edward. Because that’s what you did to me,” I said smiling wickedly at him. I crossed my arms and waited for him to say something.

“What…wait…how?” he scrambled for words. I smiled wider.

“I’m moving in, Cullen…”

And with that I raced up the stairs to talk to Carlisle and Esme, hoping that they would go along with my plan. I turned into another hallway and saw Esme standing there. She had the biggest smile on her face as she held out her arms and I simply ran into them.

“Welcome home, Bella,” she murmured into my hair.

“Her name is IZZY!” Emmett shouted.

If you are a fan of vamp fics, a seriously bad ass Bella and one sexy as fuck Edward Cullen {oh, hell yeah!}, then you won’t want to miss Dirty Dancing with the Devil Herself!


Now, if you’re like me and have indulged in so many Christmas one shots and short fics you actually gained weight from all the sweetness, now is NOT the time to stop LMAO!

Out of all the goodies I’ve read, FyreMasen’s Blame it on the Mistletoe, put the biggest smile on my face of them all!

Rob Attack


Sometimes it just takes that one special thing to turn a regular moment into a magical moment, and sometimes you just gotta blame it on the mistletoe.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Family – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 7 – Words: 12,839 – Reviews: 178 – Favs: 84 – Follows: 130 – Updated: Dec 25 – Published: Dec 20 – Status: Complete – id: 10903761

I’m a complete sucker for any fics that have Edward and Bella together since childhood!

Edward and Bella, age 5

“Bella! Bella! I need your help. C’mere, please.” Edward has found Bella and is now dragging her toward the door.

“What’s goin’ on, Edward? Where we goin’?”

They come to a stop in the foyer. Edward looks up searching out the mistletoe. As soon as he finds it, he maneuvers Bella directly under it. Then he looks around to make sure Emmett’s watching.

“I need you to do me a favor, please.”

“What do you need me ta do?” Bella really wants to know why he’s been dragging her all around.

Suddenly, he’s giving her a kiss … on the lips! Gross! Her dad told her never to kiss boys. They all have cooties.

She pushes Edward away and stomps his foot.

“If I get sick, Edward, I’mma tell my daddy. He said to never kiss any boys.”

“I’m sorry, Bella. Emmett made me. He dared me or I had to give him my Gameboy. Do you forgif me?”

Bella thinks it over for a second. “I guess. I know you really love your Gameboy. Just don’t do it again, ‘kay?”

Edward nods his head. “Okay. Do you really think kissin’ me will make you sick?”

Shaking her head she leans over and kisses his cheek. “Nah. Not you. Let’s go play. We have to figure out a way to get Emmett back.”

And with that they clasp hands and are off and running, back to normal.

Meanwhile their parents watch the whole scene, and while their moms think it’s sweet, Charlie just knows, some day that boy is going to take his baby girl.

It was her entry in the Beneath the Mistletoe Contest, winning 3rd Place Public Vote, Judge JennRG324’s choice and she also received Best Use of Mistletoe.

A quick read at only seven chapters so do yourselves a favor and cuddle up to Blame it on the Mistletoe!

What fics kept you sane over Christmas?

Happy Friday, y’all!


Night Raider



Filed under Fan Fiction Recs, Rita01tx

24 responses to “Random Rita ~ Friday Feature Fics!

  1. dpennell007

    Oh I think I WILL add Dirty Dancing with The Devil Herself to the top of my list. I know I have the PDF in my home computer.

    Over the past 2 weeks I’ve read 4 stories by Amethyst Jackson: Bonne Foi, Only Human, Anatomy of a Human, and The Learning Curve. She was only 23 or so when she wrote all those. Amazing!

    • rita01tx

      Oh, Donna darlin’! Amethyst Jackson was among the first fanfiction authors I latched onto when I first started readin’ it and she’s still Top of the Pops as far as I’m concerned!
      I’ve read all the ones you mentioned with The Learning Curve earning four stars on my TBR!
      Now, if only she’d at least finish A Madman’s Mercy and The Cullen Enterprise, it would please me no end *le sigh!*

    • bevey99

      I read DDWTDH over a year ago and loved it. This Bella is my hero.
      xo Hope your holiday was good.

      • rita01tx

        Hi, Bev darlin’! Wasn’t it a hoot? I really loved this fic hard LOL!
        Wishin’ you the best holidays ever {{HUGS!}}
        No white Christmas this year but New Years Eve could be snowy if what we’re gettin’ today keeps up for a while!

  2. ClaireBamboozle

    Hi there Rita, glad to see you didn’t OD on Turkey yesterday 😀
    I passed that fic rec on, but I haven’t actually read it myself…yet lol.
    It’s snowing here in my corner of the UK (the boys have been out in the dark building a snowman and having a snowball fight with next door’s kids in case it’s gone in the morning) I may well be confined to barracks tomorrow, so some reading and writing should be on the cards.
    Hugs xx

  3. kitt

    Hope you’ve had Happy Holidays Rita & RA readers!
    Hoping Rita has lots more in store for us all in the New Year!

  4. christa64c

    Happy Holidays, Rita! I’ve looking for a bad ass Bella to counteract all of the sweetness that abounds around Christmas. I’ll be moving Dirty Dancing up my list for sure. Thank you for supporting the fandom Rita, you do a great job!

    • rita01tx

      Aw shucks, thanks, Christa darlin’! Oh, and you won’t find a badder Bella than in this one…she completely blew me away LOL!!

  5. For all who celebrate, I hope your holiday(s) were/are wonderful. I always enjoy this special Friday treat, so thank you Rita. I am STILL slowly climbing my way out of the rabbit hole that is Twilight: The Missing Pieces, thanks to dear zveka. I am thoroughly enjoying the nostalgia of it. I’m not sure what I’ll be in the mood for after that, but I missed out on all the Christmas goodies, so perhaps I’ll read your second rec next. The first rec sounds like fun and I’ll be pushing that one to the top of the list as well. Then since The Learning Curve got your 4 stars, I might have to get on that as well. I loved Amethyst Jackson’s other fics. HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!!

    • rita01tx

      Ha! You’re a braver woman than I am, Kay darlin’! If I touch any of those EPOV fics Zveka turned us on to, you won’t find me for weeks, if not months! Can’t have that, now can we LOL!
      One of the things I really liked in Blame it on the Mistletoe was that Emmett dumped Rose’s sorry ass…permanently! Shhhh! Ain’t spillin’ the beans; you’ll just have to read it!
      Happy Holidays, hon!

      • lol Rita you already know that I am sucker for EPOV stories and every time that I start to clean a little my e-reader Friday’s come and between you and others readers of RA who rec’d stories… well I am just happy that I have time to read and that I am fast reader 🙂

    • I am glad that you enjoy this memory line Kay 🙂

  6. OMG! I accidentally saw a line or two in the very beginning where he tells her to kindly stop talking, except not so nicely and my jaw dropped in shock and awe. I. Can’t. Wait. to read this one!

    • rita01tx

      Oh, boy! Yeah, Em has enough of Rose’s shit, as well as everyone else’s, and splits…which is how he winds up comin’ across Bella…uh, I mean Izzy LOL!

  7. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays season to you and readers of RA

    Thanks for the Rec’d, I didn’t know this one 🙂 so this one is the next on my list… I was reading this week vamp fiction too ..
    She is author of The Waltz which you rec’d few months ago

    By: maxigrumpling
    Turned by accident, nerdy loner Eddie faints at the sight of blood and wakes, often, at the morgue. There’s no handbook for what he’s become. When the Cullen’s discover him he needs a total vampire makeover and the OCD, hypochondria and his image of what he is all have to go. Bella is given the task of educating him. She thinks he’s a joke, but likes the glasses. E/B HEA assured.
    Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Humor – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 28 – Words: 163,056 – Reviews: 1,196 – Favs: 486 – Follows: 482 – Updated: May 8, 2013 – Published: Mar 25, 2013 – Status: Complete – id: 9133049

    You know when people said “Don’t judge the book by the cover”… well Bella and Cullen’s did just this …

  8. Thanks so much Rita for reading and rec’ing our fic, Blame it on the Mistletoe. We sooooo appreciate it! 🙂 🙂 🙂 From Fyrebyrd89 & Lissa Addyman

    • rita01tx

      Aw, sweeties! You’re so welcome! So many Christmas fics around this year but yours certainly snagged my attention and I’m proud to rec it to anyone who reads this blog! Happy Holidays, ladies {{HUGS!}}

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