Random Rita ~ Friday Feature Fics!


Evenin’, ladies!

Some great fics have crossed my path recently and I’m so excited to share some of them with you!

Now, when I opened the first chapter of Inhuman Nature and read Kristina’s AN, I damn near fell off my chair laughin’! Not that she’s writin’ a funny fic for us but…well, here!

A/N: Oh, man.

So, here I am, doing another thing I swore I would never do. Vamp fic. Whoa.

A note. These vampires are not quite canon in characteristics. The story is AU, so some things don’t line up with strict canon.

Dedication: To all of you who pushed me, over the years, to do a vamp fic. I hope this one works.

And lemme just say right now…it fuckin’ works!!!



This is the story of two vampires. One sinister monster who collected the humanity of others. One who struggled to find the humanity he lost. This is the story of one human. Victimized by one, saved by the other, thrown into the middle of a myth, saddled with a secret terror of one monster she could only share with another. You don’t need to be human to be humane.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Suspense/Angst – [Bella, Edward] Jasper – Chapters: 4 – Words: 10,031 – Reviews: 339 – Favs: 207 – Follows: 351 – Updated:20h ago – Published: Jun 24 – id: 12015038

“Charlie Swan’s daughter is missing,” he said, saving Carlisle the trouble of speaking. “And that blond bastard was interested in another meal from Forks.”

His father’s jaw went taut. Edward saw Charlie’s pale, tortured face.

“She’s only been missing twenty-four hours,” Edward said, quick to jump on a chink in Carlisle’s armor. “We can still help her.”

Carlisle flinched inwardly, but his gaze didn’t waver. “All right.” He stood up, his arms crossed as he faced him. “And how many of us are you willing to sacrifice?”

Now it was Edward who flinched. “What?”

If he went off after this devil and the innocent girl in his clutches, he would do so at the most certain sacrifice of his family or himself.

Oh,no! Poor Bella is the cream fillin’ stuck between two halves of an Oreo cookie…okay, only if one of the halves is not black *scratches head!*

Normally, good triumphs over evil but this is LyricalKris so I’ll be expectin’ a bumpy ride right up until the denouement presents itself!




AU EXB Bella felt the heat burn her face, she didn’t want a ride, she wanted to be left alone. She didn’t want to be a burden to this man, who clearly had more important things to do than give a stranger a ride home. “There’s no need… I can walk home, there’s no need to make a fuss…”

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 6 – Words: 27,655 – Reviews: 169 – Favs: 172 – Follows: 397 – Updated: Jun 28 – Published: Apr 4 – id: 11879208

Still recoverin’ from a traumatic attack, Bella escapes to the tiny coastal town of Tempest Point where she hopes to find peace! What she doesn’t see comin’ is the town’s sheriff..a tall, green-eyed, gun totin,’ hunka hunka burnin’ love whose long hair is tucked up in a man bun under his Stetson!

Edward sat up in bed. Another dream. For the last few days it was always the same. Milky white legs wrapped around his waist. Frenzy. Warmth. Never ending need. Never ending pleasure. Never ending pain. His nature was too rough, too violent. He sat up screaming.

Moonlight filtered through the window. Calling to him. Hypnotic rhythm. His control was definitely slipping. He needed a way out.

He could still smell her, as if she were sleeping next to him and not far away in her own bed. Peaches and femininity. His hands fisted the sheet covering his naked body. This is what hell must feel like. He laughed in desperation. The moon laughed at him. He needed to get out, run with the moonlight, make the exertion drown his need, his thoughts.

“The one you feed.” His father’s words in an involuntary whisper. Great! Now you’re even speaking to yourself!

He jumped out of bed, out the window, over the deck, onto the path up towards the meadow. Running at full speed through the forest. So fast all he could feel was the chilly night engulfing him. Running away from his thoughts, from her impossible perfume, from the need to tear down her run down excuse for a house, rip apart the furniture, tear her from that dingy place. And lock her where he knew no one would harm her.

He stopped just at the edge of the meadow. Never daring to enter. He hadn’t dared disturb it in four long years. His heart drumming along with the moon’s mockery. He wouldn’t cross the boundary tonight either. Instead he rubbed the tattoo in his chest, mumbled the old prayer, and sat down at the edge of the forest, watching the fireflies dance in front of him. Out here, her perfume didn’t exist. The only real thing was the moon’s leash around his heart lulling him back to sleep.

Did I say “burnin’?” Yeah, our boy’s body temperature does run rather high. And what’s up with those luminous green eyes?

The answer isn’t going to be as obvious as you might think LMAO!




AU in 1950s Paris. Celebrated private detective Charlie Swan is hired to investigate wealthy playboy Edward Cullen, who is suspected of having an affair with a rich businessman’s wife. Charlie’s innocent but overly curious daughter Bella gets too involved with the case. Based on the plot of the 1957 Billy Wilder movie “Love in the Afternoon.” Drabble. Updates EVERY DAY. AH, HEA.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Humor – [Bella, Edward] – Chapters: 2 – Words: 1,542 – Reviews: 44 – Favs: 37 – Follows: 96 – Updated: 19h ago – Published: Jun 29 – id: 12024307

As if thinking of love in Paris reminded him of his work, he turned back to the hotel across the street and once more raised the heavy camera with its powerful telephoto lens, pointing it at the shuttered window. As he gazed through the lens, the curtains were drawn back and the shutters flung open. A man and woman stepped out onto the balcony to watch the sunrise, their faces illuminated by the rising sun. He focused the camera on the two faces, and clicked.

The man had a shock of messy hair in an unusual reddish color, his features handsome even from this distance. The woman, a tall statuesque blonde, flashed a provocative smile. He took her in his arms and bent to kiss her.


As they kissed, Charlie snapped several more excellent pictures of the two. By the time the woman had lowered her veil and returned inside, he knew his wait had been rewarded and he had obtained the proof his client needed.

Satisfied, he began the long trek down the stone stairs. The sun was now fully free of the horizon, spreading its warmth over the Paris streets. Slowly, the city was coming to life, the calls of the street vendors making themselves heard in the stillness, the early morning traffic beginning to wend its way along the narrow streets.

It did not take long to reach his small apartment, where he went straight to the closet he used as a darkroom and began developing his film. Within less than an hour he had several excellent 8 by 10s that he hung up to dry on a bit of clothesline strung from wall to wall in the narrow closet. He held one up, the developer dripping off the paper. Yes. A perfect likeness. His client would be quite satisfied.

“Dad?” his daughter Bella called. The two of them lived alone; she had just turned eighteen, and in a couple of weeks she would be performing with her orchestra at the theatre. She studied the cello, and his heart nearly burst with pride every time he heard her play.

“I’m here, Bella,” he said, exiting the darkroom and closing the door behind him carefully, one sample photo in his hand.

“Did you close your case?” She spotted the photo he had brought in and swooped down and picked it up. “Ah! What a handsome man!” She turned large and very curious brown eyes on him. “What is his name?”

Charlie frowned. “A sweet and innocent girl like you should not be concerned with the likes of a man such as this.” He plucked the photo out of her hands. “Although I have to admit he is responsible for a good portion of my income.”

“I think I recognize him,” Bella said, placing a finger on her chin. “Let me see…”

Well, I’m already hooked and I you will be, too! Oh, and congratulations are in order! Alisa and Sophia’s story, Bitter Sun Rising, came in 3rd on TwifanfictionRecs Top Ten Completed Fics ~ May 2016 *applause!**stamp!**whistle!*




Bella is visiting Ireland for the first time with her best friend while Edward is making the same trip but for different reasons. When the plane crashes over the Atlantic, Bella and Edward are forced to work together to keep one another alive. Natural human instincts of survival take over and bring out truths they never thought would be told. Future lemons; REVIEW

Rated: Fiction M – English – Hurt/Comfort/Tragedy – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 38 – Words: 87,819 – Reviews: 433 – Favs: 359 – Follows: 507 – Updated:Oct 27, 2015 – Published: Jun 4, 2015 – Status: Complete – id: 11290981

And because I owe you a COMPLETE fic rec…

When Bella is separated from Alice on the plane to Dublin, she’s not sure what to make of the ridiculously handsome man in the seat next to hers. Little did she know, Fate had a plan…

“Please remain in your seats!” The pilot’s voice had gone from calm to frantic and I doubted any of the passengers were listening.

Edward was already in action, pulling out our vests from beneath us and helping me into mine. Our eyes locked and all I could see behind his illuminated eyes in the dark was Alice’s scared face.

I whimpered in pain and above me, I heard an undeniable shrieking, crackling sound that sent a shiver down my spine. I watched in horror as the plane started to break in two, down the centre, dividing up the passengers and sending the front of the plane downward.

“NO!” I screamed through my mask but nothing came from it. The oxygen wrapped up the sound and I choked for breath, finding no comfort from the sensation of O2.

Water hit my face and for a brief moment, I thought we hit the ocean but it was only the rain as the sky was revealed above us, capturing my attention before the front of the plane snapped off completely, dropping from sight away from me… and I was away from Alice.

“Alice!” I ripped my mask off. “Alice no!” Tears sprung to my eyes as I wrestled with the wind, rain and my fucking stupid seat belt. “Alice, Alice please no, God no!”

“Bella!” I heard Edward but he was too far away in my mind. “Bella focus on me, listen to me!”

“Edward!” I choked on another sob, my hair thrashing in the rain. “She’s gone!”

“Bella we have to jump alright? We have to jump or we’ll be crushed by the weight of the plane! Do you understand me Bella, we have to jump!”

It didn’t register that I was under water until I lost my ability to breathe and my lungs screamed for air. I swam the only way I thought was up and was scared I was only pulling myself deeper into the icy water. I gasped and found that no water was filling up my throat and when I opened my eyes, I saw the stars reflect over the angry waves and Edward screaming frantically at me.

“I’m going to get you onto one of those broken pieces alright?” Edward shouted too loudly in my ear. I nodded, numb to the cold and let him drag me in the water to lift me onto a large metal fragment. I lay there floating in the water, hearing slightly his instruction of me not to move while he looked for something sustainable to lie on. I barely understood him but I was far too tired to care.

“Bella!” Edward called out and I lurched upright, almost falling off the floating metal. The moonlight shone down on it and I saw the unmistakable word “exit” written on it. I realised I was sitting on the door of the plane. My stomach lurched.

“Bella,” Edward called again and I saw him in the water between the waves, pushing a raft like object towards me.

“What is that?” I said, my voice hoarse from all my screaming.

“It will keep you out of the water, that’s what,” Edward shouted and he finally reached me. “This will help us keep afloat and keep out of the rain. I can’t do much about the waves but it will do.”

I wanted to ask so many questions: why he was so calm, how he knew this raft thing would help and why he wasn’t mourning the probable loss of his best friend. Edward, I decided, was superhuman.

Edward jumped in after me and I moved to give him some room, which wasn’t an awful lot and found myself sitting on some uncomfortable items. “I grabbed them from the wreckage,” Edward explained. “It was only a couple feet away. A flair gun, some food, a first aid kit I found floating and a brief case. There’s a shirt in the case you could use as a blanket.”

I gaped at him, worried he couldn’t see me in the darkness. “How did you… how can you think of all these things right now? Are you even human?!”

I shook and my teeth chattered together, which gave Edward reason to pull me against him, wrapping his arms around me and the fact he cared enough to keep me warm made my crying begin again.

“Hush, sleep, Bella,” were the last words I heard before everything turned black.

Human or not, Edward has skills they’re gonna need to survive this harrowin’ ordeal, which has only just begun!

Okay, your turn! What fics had you bitin’ your nails and burnin’ the midnight oil this week?

Happy Friday, y’all!


Rob Attack


Filed under Fan Fiction Recs, Rita01tx

65 responses to “Random Rita ~ Friday Feature Fics!

  1. eewee333

    Hello my darling Rita!! Thanks for all the recs. They appear great, as usual. I have to say that Compass by anna was mad (or something like that) had me riveted. I actually stayed up until like 4 in the morning reading it. It’s great. I’m trying do decide what to read next and Instinct looks good. This is 4th of July weekend for us Americans, so I’ve got several parties to attend. Hope you have a wonderful weekend. See you on FB. Hugs and Love. E


    • rita01tx

      Howdy, Eewee darlin’! With all you guys ravin’ about Compass, looks like it will be movin’ up a notch or two on my TBR LOL!
      Instinct was a very good read and you will be surprised to discover exactly why Edward is so resourceful in keepin’ himself and Bella alive! Happy Fourth of July…light up a couple sparklers for me, will ya? Dang I miss celebratin’ the Fourth *sigh!*

  2. dpennell007

    Lots of interesting suggestions! The only one I’m following at the moment is Fascination. I can’t remember where I got the rec (probably here!), but this week I read an excellent story:

    Number Our Days
    By: twistedkey
    Bella Swan is a time traveler, drifting between the past and present. Can the Cullens help her find the cure before time runs out?
    Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Adventure – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 32 – Words: 110,110 – Reviews: 935 – Favs: 741 – Follows: 567 –
    Updated: Mar 16 – Published: Aug 25, 2015 – Status: Complete – id: 11470212

    And I’m on chapter twelve of an older, heavily reviewed story which has been on my TBR list for a long time, but because it’s a High School fic (which I generally don’t like) – it took a while to reach the top. It’s good!

    By: stella luna sky
    Winner of two Summer 2009 Indies. A beautifully plain girl writes the colors used to unravel a young prodigy of the brushstroke. What color are the eyes that see through the heart? Forest green and their rooted brown. AH/M. COMPLETE.
    Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Hurt/Comfort – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 28 – Words: 95,675 – Reviews: 5,707 – Favs: 6,552 – Follows: 3,726 – Updated: Aug 4, 2010 – Published: Jun 5, 2009 – Status: Complete – id: 5115281

    • rita01tx

      Nope! Haven’t read either one of those, Donna darlin’!
      I’m actually rereadin’ a wonderful fic called Canon by SideKick55! It takes place in the year 2149. The gang are back in Forks but the story is being told from the POV of Ethan Powell, a new student who is immediately fascinated with Bella!
      Strangely, it’s actually more fun to read from his perspective LMAO!
      The problem with living forever is…your secrets do too. This is probably the most peripheral Twilight fanfic ever. Give it a try, you might like it anyhow. Yes, the Cullens are in it.
      Rated: Fiction T – English – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 24 – Words: 129,528 – Reviews: 589 – Favs: 231 – Follows: 91 – Updated: Jul 8, 2009 – Published: Oct 7, 2008 – Status: Complete – id: 4581658

    • Donna, I have both of your recs, but have not read either yet. I think I got the Number Our Days rec here too. On your rec, I’ll need to move Bare up the list. It’s on my reading carousel now. Thanks!

    • Number our days is great, I followed this one as wip Donna, will add Bare to my TBR list

  3. Hello and Happy Fouth to my fellow American gals. Each one of the recs this week sound interesting Rita. After I finished Compass, which I loved, I went on an unplanned Western theme mini marathon. Each one of the stories I read are quite different from the others, and all of them are good reads. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9632155/1/ en Range – A Short Story By: pattyrose
    In the mid 1800’s, out on the western range is where a real man makes his livelihood. And if he’s mighty lucky, it’s where he makes his destiny as well. A six chapter story with daily updates. E & B.
    Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 7 – Words: 14,722 – Reviews: 989 – Favs: 723 – Follows: 536 – Updated: Aug 31, 2013 – Published: Aug 26, 2013 – Status: Complete – id: 9632155
    If you haven’t read this little (7 chapters) gem of a fic yet, give it a read. And then please be sure to leave a rec or two. I loved this Edward and Bella together and it couldn’t have had a more perfect ending in my humble opinion. PattyRose is so close to hitting 1,000 recs. I’m sure we can get her over that milestone.

    I also loved The Maiden by Beegurl13. Inspired in part by Dances with Wolves and The Substitute Wife, this fic will take you on an emotional rollercoaster. It’s so good. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6825676/1/ Raised by a Comanche tribe in 1870’s Texas, Bella must learn to live in an ever changing world. What happens when she loses the man she loves, only to find another man she wants more, but he’s married… E/B, M, AH. FAGE2 story written for ZenOneness
    Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Drama – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 20 – Words: 88,403 – Reviews: 1,381 – Favs: 947 – Follows: 526 – Updated: Sep 12, 2011 – Published: Mar 15, 2011 – Status: Complete – id: 6825676

    A New Frontier by Melolabel https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4553319/1/
    AU,AH,BxE,OOC. Bella’s a mail order bride on her way to the Nevada desert to meet her Cowboy husband-to-be. She’s supposed to be everything he’s looking for but what will he do when it turns out she lied? M for adult themes and future limey situations.
    Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Hurt/Comfort – Edward, Bella – Chapters: 29 – Words: 93,259 – Reviews: 2,354 – Favs: 2,001 – Follows: 656 – Updated: Apr 24, 2009 – Published: Sep 22, 2008 – Status: Complete – id: 4553319
    So they declare kinda quick in this fic for my preference, but I still enjoyed this story and the epi was, Wow!
    So that was supposed to be the end of my accidental Western themed stint (was totally unplanned), but just as I finished my final review, I got an alert that Wanted by Fyrebyrd just completed. I took a look not realizing that it too was a Western themed fic. I took it as a sign from the fic gods that I should read it right away. So that’s what I did. I’m three fourths through Wanted as I type this and I freaking love it! I told Fyrebyrd that her Edward reminds me of a cross between a young Jesse James (his early days) crossed with The Paladin (gun for hire out for justice). Love her characters. I think it’s been rec’d here, but if you’re not reading it yet, you should! Ok that’s it from me. https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11777818/1/ When outlaw Edward Cullen is wounded in a gunfight, he never expected to wake up with a double barrel shotgun nestled under his chin.
    Rated: Fiction M – English – Western/Adventure – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 31 – Words: 75,588 – Reviews: 1,642 – Favs: 382 – Follows: 642 – Updated: 9h ago – Published: Feb 8 – Status: Complete – id: 11777818 Hope I don’t end up in the clink for too many links.

  4. I went and grabbed this immediately. The premise is clever, but I probably never would’ve looked twice at it based on the summary. Thank you for the Rec.

    • rita01tx

      Grabbed what????

        • rita01tx

          Such a fun read but I got distracted today when someone on FB mentioned And With Thee Fade Away by Derdriu oFaolain…now I’ve got them both open at the same time *facepalm!*

            • rita01tx

              Ridiculously good…damn it! My daily updates are pilin’ up again LMAO!

              • Woman you are seriously screwing with my next to read list. Somehow I never seem to get to my ‘next up’ fic. Dern distractions. I only intended to take quick peak at And With Thee Fade Away, maybe make a note to push it up the list, and well , I’m a couple of chapters in. Guess I’ll have to hold off a bit on Canon. Then I must get to The Cullen Legacy. Zveka was fit to be tied when she saw I hadn’t read it yet. I don’t know how I kept pushing it back, but I will read it …soon. But it’s too late cause now I wanna read AWTFA.

                • rita01tx

                  IKR, right? I’m gettin’ a headache from all the bouncin’ from one fic to another, spinnin’ my wheels tryin’ to get where I “thought” I needed to go LOL! Hell’n I’m givin’ up any attempt at order ’cause guess what I just pulled up by accident and can’t close? This is Not My Life by Isakassas *facepalm!* Third reread, if not the fourth LMAO!
                  Follow Bella as she tries to survive a madman’s abduction and keep a stranger’s child from succumbing to his wild fantasies, and follow Edward as he tries to stay sane searching for his daughter taken right before his eyes.
                  Rated: Fiction M – English – Angst/Hurt/Comfort – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 38 – Words: 315,889 – Reviews: 17,492 – Favs: 10,477 – Follows: 4,724 – Updated: Sep 24, 2010 – Published: Nov 28, 2009 – Status: Complete – id: 5540509

                  Oh, and I just finished Canon and it’s even better than I remembered! Sooory…NOT!!

                  • I read Canon Rita, when I started to read I remembered that I read it few years ago… Excellent and unique story 🙂

                  • Nope, not gonna look. I know I have it and then it be trying to read three or four of these suckers at a time. Nope. No Sir-ee Bob. And you are surely taunting me with Canon. Ok so, AWTFA, The Cullen Legacy and Canon are on deck. Watch there be outtakes. I haven’t checked my list yet to see if TCL has extras. Oy.

                • Kay I’m also sidetracked all the time …. I’m never able to follow my TBR list ….

          • Could you please send me this one Rita

  5. bevey99

    Thanks for the goodies Rita and everyone. I was stuck on one fic all week. These recs today – I’ll just say anything Lyricalkris pens goes onto my TBR list, and I’m adding Alicia Pierce new one because I f’n loved Bitter Sun Rising. I think I added everything mention today.
    My offerings
    Adaptation By: Miss Baby
    Bella’s plan seemed so simple: be a fabulous mom, make a great career for herself doing what she loves, and win Edward back. Piece of cake! But just when the final ingredients were coming together, life whipped up another recipe. Now, instead of getting to enjoy her happily ever after, she has to adapt to a whole new set of circumstances.
    Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Angst – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 36 – Words: 117,931 – Reviews: 3,002 – Favs: 969 – Follows: 1,167 – Updated: Oct 21, 2014 – Published: Jan 14, 2014 – Status: Complete – id: 10021891

    Deep Dog Walking Thoughts By: staceleo
    Bella’s life was now determined by reflections she had when walking her beloved dog. The animal had saved her from a broken heart. When a man plagued with a past that is full of sadness comes to her door can she save him or will it lead her to further heartbreak?
    Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Drama – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 13 – Words: 32,783 – Reviews: 787 – Favs: 410 – Follows: 404 – Updated: May 12, 2014 – Published: Nov 4, 2013 – Status: Complete – id: 9820880

    • dpennell007

      I loved Deep Dog Walking Thoughts! This was part of my review: “My favorite combination – a damaged, super handsome Edward enthralled with a snarky, unsure Bella.”

    • rita01tx

      Adaptation was a great read, Bevey darlin’! Painfully delicious how she tortured poor Bella until finally givin’ her the HEA they all deserved LOL! How I missed Deep Dog Walking Thoughts, I’ll never know…thought I’d read everything Staceleo ever wrote! Seriously, that woman writes the snarkiest Bellas in the fandom LMAO!

    • well 2 more on my list 🙂

  6. thanks Rita, add to my list Tempest-Point and Instinct 🙂

    Just finished yesterday Compas, I think Donna rec’d last week and now eewee too 🙂 excellent story

    I read just some O/s
    one that Rita send me with little warring lol Souls Laid Bare & Talk Hard by Adair7
    this one too
    O/S for our dear Meli Stories. Emmett is sure that his smooth-talking friend, Edward, will be able to crack the thick ice of Bella the man-hater. Alice doesn’t agree, and a wager is made. But both are surprised when neither Bella nor Edward act as expected.
    Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Humor – Bella, Edward – Words: 8,595 – Reviews: 51 – Favs: 93 – Follows: 159 – Published: Jun 13 – id: 11996106

    By: dontlookdontask
    This is, without a doubt, the worst decision I’ve ever made. I’m in my car, wrestling with traffic and the world’s most uncomfortable pair of pantyhose as I make my way to the Fairmont Olympic, where I will watch the love of my life marry someone else. ***This story is currently a one-shot in two chapters, may be expanded later.***
    Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 2 – Words: 6,555 – Reviews: 20 – Favs: 44 – Follows: 68 – Updated: Jan 1, 2012 – Published: Nov 14, 2011 – id: 7550009

    and I started this one after finished Compas

    Because Edward and Bella together is a love story that transcends time… A medieval twilight story.
    Rated: Fiction T – English – Romance/Drama – Chapters: 26 – Words: 71,441 – Reviews: 289 – Favs: 68 – Follows: 131 – Updated: Jun 26 – Published: Oct 28, 2015 – id: 11583406

  7. bevey99

    Just have to say I’m glad I re-visit these posts a couple of days later, because more amazing recs show up. Thanks you ladies. And, thank you Rita for keeping this going, We all appreciated it. XOXO

  8. Oh and big thanks to Donna and eewee for Compas ….. Love it a lot!

  9. rita01tx

    “You’re a hitman?” cried Bella, temporarily forgetting her effort to remain composed.
    Edward pretended to be bashful, in a very exaggerated way. “Wellll… only when I’m hungry.”
    Bella swayed a little on the rocks, wondering whether or not she was going to faint.
    “I know, I know,” muttered Edward, watching Bella as her face grew pale. “When you distill my career into the phrase ‘vampire mafia hitman’ it does sound very silly.
    But really, it makes sense. There’s no better assassin than a vampire—no murder weapon, no mess, and no chance of escape.”
    “And this is seriously how you get blood now?” she exclaimed, still waiting for the “just kidding!” part to come.
    “Yes,” he said, providing her with a small measure of seriousness at last. “I’m a contract killer for the Russian Mafia. It’s not all that frequent. Sometimes I execute humans, sometimes vampires—whomever it is the bosses have blacklisted.

    And With Thee Fade Away by Derdriu oFaolain

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