Random Rita ~ Friday Feature Fics!


Evenin’, ladies!

Short, sweet and oh-so-steamy! That’s the theme of today’s recs!

It takes some genius writin’ to combine humor and hotness into somethin’ so hilarious and sexy your DH thinks you’ve lost your everlovin’ mind when you cackle wildly one minute and moan like a hOOr the next!

Not that he was complainin’ about five seconds after I finished readin’! And GUESS WHAT!?!?! 

Three more chapters have been added and, even though it’s marked complete, I’ve got my fingers crossed there will be more forthcomin’ LOL!



As she stood waiting, she realized not a single person had entered or exited that door in the past four minutes. In an instant, she made her decision: after all, a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do… AH B/E silliness & sexiness. Written for Straight Thru the Heart contest.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Humor – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 4 – Words: 16,362 – Reviews: 136 – Favs: 203 – Follows: 212 – Updated: 6h ago – Published: Mar 8 – Status: Complete – id: 11829949

I flushed and opened the stall door with an elbow, stepping out while simultaneously trying to fasten the damn button on my pants.

A sound of shuffling feet made my head spin towards the urinals, as I came to the horrifying conclusion that they were no longer unoccupied.

A tall man with a lion’s mane of hair was using one of them, although he didn’t seem to notice me, and I could – thankfully – only see his back. I could still take a few steps to the left and sneak out unseen. I should probably make work of buttoning up my jeans; I thought and looked down while taking a step back.

“Oh! Fudge! Crap, crap, crap!” I exclaimed as my heel roughly hit the metal corner of the stall. Clearly I should’ve paid more attention to where I was going. Why were these stall frames made of metal anyway?

That sh- stuff hurts!

The man, no doubt startled by the sound of a woman’s voice in his bathroom, instinctively turned around, eyes wide, mouth open, as, simultaneously, my eyes took him in completely and both of us realized that his hand was, in fact, still holding his…penis.

Helluva way to meet the love of your life LMAO!

Was he as frozen as I was – was that why he still hadn’t put his…thing… away?

What the hell?

I glanced back down.

Still a penis in his hand.

I jerked up my eyes.

Still the same horrified expression on his face as his eyes bounced from my face to my cleavage to my hand with its fingers on my button fly.


I guess this is why men and women don’t share bathrooms.

In the chapters followin’, our horny lovebirds manage to find somewhere new to have sex, each location more outrageous than the last LMAO!




I was incarcerated for six years. Now I’m free, back in a town that hates me, and all I want is a piece of cherry pie from the chief’s wife and a piece of ass from his daughter. Both are sweet enough to land me back in jail, but I’m Edward Cullen and I don’t give a f**k! An ExB story that’s worth doing the time for.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Crime – Words: 13,956 – Reviews: 45 – Favs: 154 – Follows: 198 – Published: Mar 12 – id: 11836680

If, like me, you FLUV a bad boy Edward hard, Cherry is for you! It’s not marked complete and, much as I’d like more, I think it’s perfect as is…you be the judge!

There are a lot of people I’ve known since kindergarten and some I’ve stolen from. A few patrons lose their appetite and leave. The rest stare and make their distaste for my presence known. The murmurs of my crimes and rumors of crimes I didn’t commit are all I can hear.

“Looks like things haven’t changed much,” I say.

“Yeah, and just like six years ago, your broke ass is still bumming off me and bunking on my couch,” Jasper says to be an asshole.

Turning my attention away from my adoring fans, I grimace, really not looking forward to springs stabbing me in the back.

“Fuck. You’re making me miss my prison cot.” I look down at my watch, slightly more irritated with the diner’s staff.

“Jesus. We’ve been here for over ten minutes. They’re not going to serve us, are they?”

“I told you not to come here.”

“Unfuckingbelievable.” I slide across the seat to get up when a petite brunette comes from around the counter toward our table. “Finally.”

My annoyance subsides as I sit back down, but it’s quickly replaced with fucking amazement when her eyes lock with mine. She’s beautiful, and not the kind of beautiful where I’ve just gotten out of the slammer and any chick will do. No.

This girl’s the kind you go sober for. Even before speaking a word, I decide she’s going to be my wife.

“Hi there,” she says, pulling out the notepad from her apron. “The name’s Bella. I’m going to be your server today. What can I get for you?”

More than a piece of cherry pie, that’s for damn sure!




Edward uses his own personal blog to indulge his kink, but needs a woman to really satisfy his needs. Bella wonders constantly about the anonymous man on her favourite website. Together the sparks will fly. This is my O/S contribution to the Twikink festival 2015. Please be warned, explicit language and sexual situations.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance – Chapters: 13 – Words: 22,508 – Reviews: 219 – Favs: 168 – Follows: 257 – Updated: 25m ago – Published: Apr 12, 2015 – id: 11179653


{Yeah, this was the fuckhawt gif I found to make the banner with *THUD!*}

If there’s one O/S I was happy to see expanded, it’s The Body!

As the new VP of Swan Industries, Bella is out with a couple of her new employees for a little bondin’ over beer!

The only person we hadn’t talked about was Edward, before I could stop myself I blurted out the question that had been on my lips since we had been talking in my office ” Well that covers just about everyone except you Edward, so do you have a partner or boyfriend I need to know about?”

Three things happened at once. My hand flew up to cover my mouth as I tried to stop the words leaving, and in doing so knocked the pitcher so it swayed dangerously. Emmett started to laugh with a mouth full of beer so it sprayed all over table and Edward. He jumped up to get out of the way of the spray and knocked the table causing the pitcher to finally fall over. Luckily there wasn’t much left in the pitcher so there wasn’t much damage done, Emmett and I were laughing hysterically at the chain of events and Edward was trying to wipe off his shirt front with the napkins on the table.

“Fuck fuck fuck” he said as he dabbed at the wet patch on his shirt and pulled it away from his skin.

I stopped laughing instantly, and looked at Edward. I had heard that exact expression last night several times and I would know it anywhere. The tone of his voice, the inflection in the second ‘fuck’ as the tone rose and then fell for the third word.

Could it be him?

Oooh, I was dyin’ to choose some fabulously graphic text from The Body but decided against it…you know, in case there are any underage lurkers visitin’ today LOL!

Enjoy the recs and…

Happy Friday, y’all!


Rob Attack



Filed under Fan Fiction Recs, Rita01tx

39 responses to “Random Rita ~ Friday Feature Fics!

  1. Can’t wait to look up the others . As ever thank you for the recommendation I’m really grateful x

  2. Okay, it’s been a depressing few days and I am in a real funk today. Your post is perfect today Rita. And yes, my DH looked at me like I had lost my mind as I was spluttering and gasping for air-trying to catch my breath from laughing so unexpectedly. That excerpt for flushed is so funny. It has DISTRACTION written all over it. Well it’s a quickie and I’m in need of a fun escape. So yay. I want some Cherry pie too! That one looks goods too. As for The Body, I’ve read that one and yeah that was a HOT read. Good recs as usual, my friend. Sending peace and love out to everyone today.

    • rita01tx

      Awww, Kay darlin’! RL doesn’t play fair sometimes, that for sure, so I’m glad I was able to provide a little comic relief just when it was needed the most LOL!
      A little Flushed’ll do ya!

  3. Hi, Rita! How you doin´ (imagine here Joey Tribbiani´s voice). I have to thank you for going on with this blog and all your recs, that I save to a folder in my email… some day, some day I´ll read all of them 😉 . A giant kiss and tones of hugs for you. ❤

    • rita01tx

      *SQUEEEE!* And some serious JUMPYHUGS!!!
      Good to see you, Exaltada darlin’! How’s my honorary niece, Blanca, doin’? Boy, she must be a big girl by now!
      Hugs and smoochies from Auntie Rita!!!

  4. bevey99

    I’ve read all 3 of these and OMV, they are hot, tasty pieces! AliciaW68 is the Shit. And damn Rita, honey that gif for her story might need to be my new screen saver. To hell with what the hubs thinks. ;-]
    So I have one rec for everyone. It’s not all that long but OMG it blew me away. It reads like Mousetrap, with blinds, double- crosses, and more. There is HEA, but damn to get there it is a major roller-coaster ride.
    Twisted By: knicnort3
    “Sometimes love and honesty don’t go hand in hand”-Edward is new in town and hiding a dark secret; when he enrolls in Forks High, it’s not long before he captivates Bella and turns her life upside down. When the truth comes out, will they be able to move past it, or is the damage beyond forgiveness?- Not your average teen drama. Warning- contains Angst! AH, B/E, HEA
    Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Hurt/Comfort – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 35 – Words: 81,523 – Reviews: 1,376 – Favs: 502 – Follows: 459 – Updated: Nov 14, 2013 – Published: Aug 14, 2013 – Status: Complete – id: 9595365
    Moved it to my Favorites list only 7 chapters in. Think it will make my Top 20 All Time Favorites. She writes almost flawlessly without a Beta.

  5. dpennell007

    Dang. That gif is a gift! Your internet search history must be a hoot. I, too have read and enjoyed all of today’s selections.

    I’m still working my way through the catalogue of stella luna sky who I discovered last week (even though she left the fandom about 4 years ago!).

  6. Thanks Rita, I didn’t read Flushed yet, have Body on alert and I read Cherry during Control Posses Seduce contest .. excellent story

    thanks for the And With Thee Fade Away this was great read

    I finished this one
    Rockstarward. Written with WitFit daily prompts Jan/Feb 2013: 90’s sex, drugs and rock and roll. E/B, AH and M
    Rated: Fiction M – English – Drama – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 31 – Words: 90,378 – Reviews: 1,194 – Favs: 657 – Follows: 524 – Updated: Mar 3, 2013 – Published: Jan 24, 2013 – Status: Complete – id: 8939774

    • bevey99

      Thanks honey, I just added this one. Twisted will not disappoint you.

    • rita01tx

      Part of Me was a great read, Zveka darlin’! Musta read it quite some time ago ’cause it’s not on my trackin’ doc for 2016! Gotta love Rockstarward…need more rock fics!!!

      • hmm Rita I still didn’t have time to read drotuno Man Behind the Mask but I have read some Rockstarward or Musicianwand

        If Every Word I Said Could Make You Laugh by carmelinagunn
        Altered Measure by kitchmill
        Tropic of Virgo by In.a.blue.bathrobe
        Faithfully by LailaB
        Pop Religion by FyreMasen

        • rita01tx

          Oh, boy! More rereads LMAO! Which reminds me…I just finished And With Thee Fade Away and I had totally forgotten the fabulous endin’ so it was almost like readin’ it for the first time! I love when that happens LOL!

          • Rita, this o/s is great 🙂 Guitarward 🙂

            Bella Swan doesn’t do one-night stands. But the way Edward Cullen makes love to that guitar onstage has her wishing she could trade places with it, if only for one night… Winner “Best Romance” in the Truly Anonymous Twilight OS Picture Prompt Contest
            Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance – Bella, Edward – Words: 5,468 – Reviews: 127 – Favs: 434 – Follows: 125 – Published: Mar 22, 2012 – Status: Complete – id: 7948246

            • dpennell007

              I just read The Guitar while eating breakfast. Great little read!

            • rita01tx

              What the F is goin’ on? I’m not gettin’ emails when you comment, nor am I gettin’ the email when I post…did you all get today’s post (July 15th)????

              • dpennell007

                I just got home from a Crazy day at work – and I’m reading from the top. Plus I just got off the phone with my girlfriend Diane whose son has 175 staples from his hip to below his knee due to a motorcycle accident, and Mass General wants to send him home tomorrow because her insurance won’t cover Spaulding Rehab until he gets a little better. UNBELIEVABLE!

                • rita01tx

                  Motorcycles accidents and insurance companies…two subjects guaranteed to make your blood boil! Wishin’ him and Diane all the best!

  7. eewee333

    Rita!!!Lord help me it’s MONDAY!! I read Flushed and thoroughly enjoyed it. I’ve got The Body on alert and I’ll sneak Cherry in today since it’s a short read.

    I started Dotruno’s Angel Series and I’m reading BelWard right now too. I’m old, so reading two stories at once is about all I can handle. Hope you are doing well. Love and Hugs. E

    P.S. Hello to all the ladies on this thread. Thank you all for your recs. 🙂

    • rita01tx

      Ha! It’s gettin’ harder and harder for me to juggle so many fics, too, Eewee darlin’! That’s why recs from our friends are so important in the prioritizin’ process LOL!

  8. Woo hoo, RobAttack posts three weeks in a row! I know I’ve been off the radar for a while, but who can pass up having Rita back in action?

    The OD Patient is right up my alley – vamp NM. The Protector sounds intriguing too – since I faithfully follow The Arrow TV show (I started because of Stephen Amell, stayed for the Felicity character), I can hardly claim to be indifferent to action heroes any more. And how fun to have the author jump on the comment thread!

    My jaw dropped when I heard Lyrical Kris is doing a vamp fic – I am so there! And oh my gosh what is going on with Edward in Tempest Point, with dreams of Bella and that connection to the moon and meadow? 7/1 was quite a week for recs!
    And the GIF on 7/8? I’m speechless.

    Donna, thanks for the rec of Menage á Trois. One giant lemon, and complete too? Sign me up.

    Ah, Rita’s and Zveka’s PDF lists brought up some of those “oh, I loved that one” sighs. Most especially Stranger than Fiction. Long ago I read most of Atlas Shrugged but wasn’t crazy about it, and yet oddly I went back to it a second time and liked it a lot. Oh, and her original name was Jeesie Chreesie. Then someone mentioned “And with Thee Fade Away” – another sigh. She so skillfully drew her own world and I was right there with her.

    OK, if three different people are loving “The Beauty of His Eyes”, I’ll have to ask my friendly neighborhood dealer for a copy of the PDF. One of the reasons I hate it when stuff gets pulled is the description and reviews are gone too – impossible to check it out.

    “This is Not My Life” has been on my list forever – it just moved up a few hundred notches if Rita is reading it for the 4th time. I know what you mean, Rita, about accidentally pulling something up and then being unable to put it away. I think we should call them Flypaper Fics. It sounds as if everyone has trouble sticking to a reading plan!

    Kay, thanks for your thoughts about “Life Lesson” – I didn’t know there was a third story in that series. Since you liked it better than the second one, I’ll give it a try. “Open Range” and “The Maiden” also sound good. “Dances with Wolves” was one of my favorite movies. You sure did go on a Western streak.

    Zveka, thanks especially for “Beginning of Always” – that sounds like my personal crack (OK, I don’t read a lot of T rated, but the subject is perfect).

    And Bevey99, I have added “Deep Dog Walking Thoughts” to my bottomless TBR list – she gets points just for the title. Your enthusiasm about “Twisted” is much appreciated too.

    I have been wallowing – there’s no other word for it – in Windchymes’ “The Keepsake”. I know, I’m late to the party, but I’ve been saving it! Reading something this riveting and affecting and imaginative reminds me why I dived down the fanfic rabbit hole in the first place.

    Ooh, and Monolith, which I believe Rita rec’d some time ago. I see it has just been marked complete. Amazingly imagined, beautifully written.

    Happy reading, everyone!

    • rita01tx

      Havin’ technical difficulties so I just now saw your wonderfully comprehensive comment, Renee darlin’! Always good to see your name pop up *HUGS!*
      Don’t we just have the most amazin’ stories to hoard…I mean, choose from and enjoy!?! And bless and the wonderful ladies who manage to pdf so many before they vanish forever and share them with us!
      I’d be happy to send The Beauty of His Eyes to you if you like…your email address has a WIP in it, right?

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