Category Archives: Because he gives us a Reason to smile.

Unusualward!

UNUSUALWARD

Our post today is focused on Unusual Edwards, ones that we found unique and extraordinary, with distinct characteristics – whether from nature or nurture – that made him memorable and fascinating to read.

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*Reviews by Cared*

Wicked Games by ClaireBamboozle

*Made by Nina Rose*

*Made by Nina Rose*

Wicked Games ~ She has watched him for years, he is grace, beauty and goodness and she is a sinner. It isn’t just the river of Hell fires which separates them. Given a chance will Bella corrupt the one pure thing in her life?

Rated: Fiction M – English – Supernatural/Fantasy – Bella & Edward – Chapters: 7 – Words: 16,521 – Reviews: 88 – Favs: 43 – Follows: 31 – Updated: 06-29-13 – Published: 06-09-13 – Status: Complete – id: 9372426

ClaireBamboozle certainly pegged this short story correctly when she selected the genre as being Supernatural/Fantasy, for that’s exactly what her fantastical tale is – from beginning to end.  Edward, full of beauty and grace, is an angel standing guard outside the gates of Heaven, while Isabella is one of the damned on the far side of the great divide.  It would be hard to think of any two beings across all of Heaven and Earth Hell, who are less likely to form a bond – but they do – and it irrevocably alters their existence.  Isabella lives – perhaps I should say exists – in a place where cruelty and wickedness are rife, as the concubine of the creature she calls the Big D.  Yes, the Devil himself!  She prefers to be solitary in her suffering rather than allow herself care for someone she may later witness tortured, but there is someone her thoughts and eyes linger on…

The divide stretches wide between us.  A raging see of seething, bubbling fire.  Brimstone hangs heavy in the smoky air, stinging my eyes.  He is unaffected, serene, pure.

For so long, decades most likely I’ve watched him with an unwavering eye.  Studied his form and cataloged it all.  I’ve memorized every line of his carved physique, the angles of his ethereal face.  The sharpness of his jaw.  His full lips that purse when he is deep in though and those green eyes which pierce the vast distance between us and make my blackened heart soar.  He is perfection.  When he turns my way I fee desire flame within me, even if he doesn’t notice me.

I want him. Badly.

I have spent years hoping for a chance to corrupt and bring him to my side.  But I can’t have him.  He is the gatekeeper to a realm I dare not enter; trusted and true.  I know I hold no appeal to his sight.  To him I am invisible…

Or so she thinks.

Now you might assume this Angelward is about as far from canon Edward as you can get, but no…he still has those essential qualities that make my knees go weak.  For instance, while it’s Isabella’s soul that is damned…not his, and there is no car spinning on ice or rogue vampire after her blood, Edward ever the protector, is drawn to save Isabella – this time from eternal torment.  Will a leap of faith be enough to bridge the gap between their worlds?

Read this sinfully good story to find out!

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9372426/1/Wicked-Games

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She Speaks Fear and Truth by ericastwilight

Erica

*Made by emerald_rosalie*

She Speaks Fear and Truth ~ She’s haunted daily, but learns to deal with her gift, helping those in need. He hides behind his opinions, seeking closure, barely living. When their worlds collide can they help each other. A story of loss, love and betrayal with a supernatural twist.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Supernatural/Hurt/Comfort – Bella & Edward – Chapters: 14 – Words: 45,467 – Reviews: 1,679 – Favs: 984 – Follows: 649 – Updated: 09-04-10 – Published: 10-10-09 – Status: Complete – id: 5434481

To be fair to potential readers, I have to share straight away this story deals with the aftermath and memories of a child’s death.  Let me explain: this story is Twilight fanfic, but it’s also very close to the TV show Ghost Whisperer, with a little Ghost Hunters thrown in to deepen the plot.  I have long admired ericastwilight’s skill as an author so it’s no surprise how this sensitive subject is written with grace and respect.

Professor Cullen is a university lecturer by profession, he is the head of a team of paranormal investigators by obsession, but his daughter has been missing for three years and the heartbreaking, overwhelming role in his life is that of grieving father.  At first Edward appeared to me as something of an oxymoron: in his work with the Denver Paranormal Society he revels in debunking paranormal occurrences, yet he sets up recording equipment nightly in the hope of hearing his daughter.  I’m no psychoanalyst, and so don’t ask me to explain his behaviour, but I did come to understand it and admire the loving father that he is – down to his very soul.  Sadly, Edward is forced to learn and accept the terrible truth upon coming face to face with ghost whisperer Bella…

EPOV

I didn’t know how much time had passed as I sat on a stool behind the podium. A cool draft swept around me, and I felt my pants leg pull lightly. 

Great. Now my fucking head was playing tricks on me again. The pull on my pants increased.

“Hayley.” I sobbed.

“Was that her name?”

I jumped slightly from her loud voice in the quiet room. I looked up at her and my anger returned.

“You should know. I’m sure you’ve done your research.” I got up from my stool and slammed my briefcase shut. I turned to erase a large chalkboard behind me, trying my best to ignore her. 

“Wait,” she said quietly. I stopped. I had no idea why I did. Maybe it was the pleading nature behind her request. “She wants to tell you my name.” I turned, my anger flaring. But instead of meeting my eyes, she was looking at something on the chalkboard.

My hand shook as wet letters started to form in the chalk dust.

Bella.

I love you, Mr. Toad.

I sobbed, dropping the eraser in my hand. The sounds leaving my lips disturbed the quiet peace in the room, causing the writing to still.

“She couldn’t find a way to talk,” Bella said softly. “Not even for your recordings.”

As the letters started to dry, more took their place.

I’m sorry, Daddy.

“No, baby,” I whispered. “I am.”

“Professor Cullen, I’m sorry about my outburst. At first, I assumed the worst –”

I shook my head, because I wasn’t sorry. I needed this. “Why can’t she talk?” I looked up at Bella just as she cringed.

“Every time she tries, water comes out,” she said with a sigh.

I sobbed and fell to my knees. Bella came to my side but kept her distance, just hovering.

“Until now,” I murmured, “she’s only been considered missing.”

This beautiful story made me cry, but amazingly, given the sensitive plot line, it never made me despair.  She Speaks Fear and Truth is complete and each of its 14 chapters are packed full of love – and eventually hope and light.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5434481/1/She-Speaks-Fear-and-Truth

To be privy to the development of Edward and Bella’s relationship, and to experience ghost hunting, join them, an arachnophobic Emmett 😉 and the rest of the team in the sequel…

Denver Paranormal Society

brown_lady

*Made by ericastwilight*

Denver Paranormal Society ~ Sequel to She Speaks Fear and Truth. Follow Edward’s team, and Bella, the newest ghost-hunting member. With Bella’s abilities will it only bring Edward’s team to more harm? Their relationship is put to the ultimate test.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Supernatural/Romance – Bella & Edward – Chapters: 14 – Words: 53,959 – Reviews: 584 – Favs: 399 – Follows: 519 – Updated: 10-10-13 – Published: 10-30-10 – id: 6437814

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6437814/1/Denver-Paranormal-Society

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Heat by PrincessRachael

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*Made by Cricrila Redlips*

Heat ~ Edward is an Alpha wolf of a dying pack in a world where she-wolves no longer exist. The responsibilities of too many lives rest on his shoulders and he’s running out of time. Edward/Bella. Graphic lemons, violence, sensitive themes. Mature.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Supernatural – Bella & Edward – Chapters: 32 – Words: 128,473 – Reviews: 3,405 – Favs: 1,374 – Follows: 1,986 – Updated: 10-12-13 – Published: 06-29-13 – id: 9441302

Rita10tx recommended this fic in the comments on the Maps To The Stars post, and since that girl knows a good fic when she reads it, it zoomed to the top of my TBR list.

Now, this is where I ask you to trust me, set aside any preconceived ideas you have of the form you like your Edwards to take, because ladies…this Edward is a wolf!  Yes, that’s right – a wolf!  Edward, Bella, and the rest of  favourite characters are still mythical creatures, although, vampires don’t exist… not in their world.  It’s amazing to me, and indeed, a testament to PrincessRachael’s talent and insight as a writer, that even though Edward’s ability to shapeshift and its inherent consequenses are integral and essential to the plot, he exudes those essential qualities to make him – the man and the wolf – an Edward I can love.

Talking of the plot: the shapeshifters are in danger of eventual extinction if the abundance of males fail to find mates and produce female cubs.  A she-wolf in heat is about as rare as Trekkie at a Twilight convention, so let’s what happens when Bella quite literally runs into Edward’s neck of the woods…

It was a she-wolf!

He couldn’t believe his eyes. A she-wolf in his territory. After all this time, after decades of searching, one had suddenly turned up in his own backyard! It was absolutely unbelievable, the most farfetched notion he could have imagined. And if any member of his pack would have reported her existence, he wouldn’t have believed it. But there she stood, clear as daylight in the murky darkness, yet seemingly fragile as an apparition. He feared she would unexpectedly disappear just as quickly as she had arrived.

The spotless white she-wolf was watching them from her perch in the furthest reaches of the tree. She was the most flawless animal Edward had ever beheld. Her eyes were the color of whiskey, not quite gold, nor that dull blond that was typical in so many wolves, but sparkling with hints of amber and saffron. Even from this distance, Edward could tell she was about half his size. In general, she-wolves were smaller than their male counterparts, but regardless, her little frame captivated him. And the way she paced nervously from branch to branch made Edward growl in response. He was instantly protective and ravenous for her at the same time.

The intensity in her eyes and the scent from her body was part of what was affecting Jasper so zealously. Clearly she was up in the tree because the gray wolf’s behavior had frightened her. She was now looking desperately around for a place of escape. She seemed oblivious to the true cause of Jasper’s unease. And perhaps she didn’t know, Edward reasoned as he felt his own body start to sink into the same depths where Jasper now swam. His wolf instincts were beginning to completely take over.

The she-wolf was in heat.

On one level Heat is a simple Edward and Bella love story, but then layer in the relationship between their wolves, the volatile relationship with Sam’s rabid pack and Aro’s crazed one.  Also add to the Petri dish, the scientific work to solve fertility problems, the possible extinction of the species, personal tragedy, a mad scientist intent on industrial espionage, brutal, unethical animal hunters, and turn up the heat with hot lemons.  All in all, it’s an explosive fic and a tremendous read!

*Please not the author’s warning of violence and sensitive themes.*

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***PrincessRachael will be removing her stories from FanFiction.net on 31st October, 2013.***

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9441302/1/Heat

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*Review by AllyVera*

Please Rescue Me by theonlykyla

PRMbanner

*Made by Ally Vera*

Please Rescue Me  ~ Edward was a shy young man when he fell in love for the first time. He learned the hard way that love shouldn’t hurt, right? When Bella cames into his life, he was at the end of his rope. Can she really offer him salvation? Can he dare to hope?

Rated: Fiction M – English – Drama/Hurt/Comfort – Edward • Bella – Chapters: 50 – Words: 77,266 – Reviews: 2,033 – Favs: 519 – Follows: 398 – Updated: 03-20-12 – Published: 11-21-11 – Status: Complete – id: 7569689

When my lovely colleague Cared first mentioned an Unusalward post my brain kicked into overdrive at which stories I have read that would fit best under this category, and in fairness, there isn’t really many, but the ones that you do read tend to stick out and the story I have chosen to share with you today is absolutely no exception.

I have read hundreds of Twilight Fan Fics and this story is the only one I have ever read with this premise for an Edward. This story made me cry and feel a little hopeless for our Edward, but ultimately, it is an amazing love story (just a very different one).

Please Rescue Me  bursts out at you at the very first chapter. I think the best way for you to get a glimpse of Edward is straight from chapter one (EPOV)…

“Bruises.

I hate having to find ways to cover the bruises.

This time, I’m not sure how to cover the bruise you left on me.

A hand print is clearly visible across my cheek.

I can’t call in sick again this week, but there is no reasonable explanation for the mark you left on me. Especially when all I asked was if she had any laundry that needed to be done.

She flew into a rage and screamed at me for being so weak as to want to take care of her laundry. I thought that’s what nice boyfriends did for their girlfriends.

She punched my chest and smacked my head.

She slapped me across the face then demanded that I fuck her.

I wasn’t even hard. How could I be hard when she just assaulted me?

I thought that I loved her, but this morning I realized love shouldn’t hurt. Not this much. Not this way.

But, I can’t leave her because she’s made sure I have nowhere to go. She’s destroyed my relationship with my parents; my sister has to sneak phone calls to me at work once a week just to check on me. My friends have all given up on me.

I am alone.

I’m lucky she allows me to work. But someone has to support her habits after my parents cut me off financially once I told them that I wouldn’t leave her. That was back when I still thought that she loved me, before I realized this is who she really is. I would take it all back now if I could.

I have no idea where to turn or how I can get out of this mess. But, I have to because there’s nothing left for me to endure, except death.

Someone, please rescue me.”

Um, yeah. And before you panic the “she” you read about above is not Bella! Bella shows up in the second chapter, and for Edward, meeting her is the turning point of his life as he knows it.

This story is full of angst, and it is definitely a story that comes with lots of warnings but if you can handle angst, it is such a wonderful story about a man who has lost all his self-esteem, dignity and power – but through one woman who fights for him and loves him unconditionally, he is able to gain it all back. I fell a little bit in love with Batteredward (as he is nicknamed) and he holds a special place in my heart!

*Please make sure to note the author’s warnings that come with Chapter One*

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7569689/1/Please-Rescue-Me

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*Review by Midnight Cougar*

Double Struck by Honeybeemeadows

*made by Deebell*

*Banner made by Deebelle Onefic*

Double Struck ~ I found her on top of a mountain. And I wasn’t even trying.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Mystery – Bella · Edward – Chapters: 5 – Words: 7,718 – Reviews: 399 – Favs: 268 – Follows: 528 – Updated: 10-10-13 – Published: 09-19-13 – id: 9698747

Genres: Adventure, Alternate Universe, Suspense, Romance

When I read the simple yet intriguing summary, and then immediately afterward the first chapter of Double Struck, I was struck with the feeling that this mysterious Edward is “more.”  That he has some kind of unusual “sixth sense” or “sight” and also that he is a complex guy – I must admit I was truly fascinated by him and the unique storyline, and still am. It’s only five chapters in, and I honestly have no idea where it’s going, but I do know that I am looking forward to this adventure, no matter where Mountainward/Otherward takes me.

Edward and his dog, Moose, climb and hike to the top of El Diente, located in San Juan Mountains of Colorado, to escape life and to seek solitude…

*excerpt chapter 1*

I picked El Diente because it was as far away as I could possibly get.

Four hours down the highway, two hours up a dirt road. Twelve miles of winding foot trail and that was just to the base. Then, there was a damn near treacherous climb to the peak. Rough cut rock newly erupted, unclaimed wilderness flopped out on all sides for as far as the eye could see. Mile upon monolithic mile of savage, undisciplined nature and little tiny me, smack in the middle of an unbroken run of prehistoric rock.

It seemed like a tasteful amount of distance to put between myself and society.

The slow-rising sun was only just beginning to stain the skyline pale yellow and powdered purple, not a single cloud in sight.

While Edward paints a beautiful picture, with breathtaking descriptions, what he finds is not exactly the serenity he was looking for, as his “sight” kicks in…

*excerpt chapter 1*

That bark. It had been so long since I’d heard him make that particular sound, I was still wondering what he could possibly mean by it when I got a full body flash of her.

Like a wrecking ball.

Like a meteor.

My knees hit the trail, then my palms. Fingers clutching dust. Lungs choking on blistering hot air. My head tried to turn itself inside out, eyes glued to the shimmery silhouette of a girl standing far off in the distance. Barely an inch tall and blurred around the edges before she jumped from light years away to impossibly close, from miles to the microscopic level in a single, tripwire heartbeat.

Shoved right up in my face, underneath my skin.

I could feel her, taste her, cell to cell for one solid instant.

I fought down the urge to black out and focused my eyes on the dirt, gulping down the wild spin of the faraway horizon on either side, breaking out into a sweat. I might as well be wrist-deep in the sun, rocks burning, heat flooding off the peak in a thick eruption of molten fire. It churned down the slippery slope, a pyroclastic flow of unearthly heat and scorching acid air as the mountain twisted itself into a spectre of its former glory.

A proverbial volcano.

Fuck.

There was someone up there.

And I’ll let you guess who that someone is! *wink* I will tell you she is not in good shape – emotionally or physically, but it’s what Edward does for her and their adventure so far – how the hell did she get way up there?! – along with the mysterious elements like “…landed back in my body,” that will draw you into this suspense-filled and distinctive story. Well, all that and the obvious pull these two seem to have for each other; I have a feeling they have both been struck by something exciting and unusual!

 http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9698747/1/Double-Struck

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The new website for the Age of Edward 2013 – Anonymous Story and Banner Contest can be found here.  Get reading ladies, with such variety you are sure to find an Edward and era that tickles your fancy. Don’t forget, there is still time to enter with either a story or a banner.

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As always, please share what you’re reading this week, or a fic you’ve never forgotten.  Whether Edward is unusual or not, tell us about him – we love them all!

The FicSix

38 Comments

Filed under Because he gives us a Reason to smile., Bella Swan/Cullen, Breaking Dawn, Edward A M Cullen, Fan Fiction Friday, Fan Fiction Recs, FFF Library, FFF Posts, My Brand of Heroin, New Moon, Twilight, Writing

Rob Roles

*A Selection of Rob's Roles*

*A Selection of Rob’s Roles*

Let’s roll on through the Summer with Rob Roles.  We are usually all about Edward here on FanFiction Fridays, but this week he has been joined by a few other fascinating characters who we have been kindly introduced to by Rob.  A big, warm welcome to Cedric, Tyler, Art, Eric and Jacob as they make their FFF debut.

Welcome wishes and thanks go to the gorgeous and talented Planetblue for joining us today – it’s a pleasure and honour to have you here.

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*Reviews by Cared*

CEDRIC

Finding Himself by Minisinoo

findinghimself

Finding Himself ~ The-Boy-Who-Almost-Died has to figure out what it means that he didn’t. Harry’s tumultuous 5th year at Hogwarts is Cedric’s 7th and final. Bound together by shared trauma, both boys fall under Ministry suspicion … Who is Cedric Diggory? Cedric!Lives AU

Rated: Fiction M – English – Suspense/Romance – Cedric D. & Hermione G. – Chapters: 40 – Words: 350,952 – Reviews: 665 – Favs: 1,022 – Follows: 184 – Updated: 11-19-08 – Published: 10-13-08 – Status: Complete – id: 4594634

I’m so excited to share my love of this story with you today…it’s one of my all-time top 5 favourite fics.  Needless to say, the other 4 places are taken by beloved Twilight stories, you know, I even surprised myself by ranking another fic genre so highly.  Now that I think about it, I know why this magnificent novel, yes, novel, for that’s what it is, earned that coveted position.  I was stunned when I first read this story a few years ago, and the feelings invoked by it have not faded from my memory.  I’ve got to be honest here and confess to you, while I read and enjoyed all the Harry Potter books and saw all the films, it was the lure of Cedric that initially drew me to Finding Himself.  Don’t judge me – you cannot deny he was gorgeous in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. LOL

CED

There are many reasons why Finding Himself is one of my favourites, but what stands head and shoulders above the others is the brilliant presentation of the absolutely beautiful love story depicted between Cedric and Hermione. Honestly, it rivals that of Edward and Bella, and in fact, in some ways it’s a lot healthier.  The romance is sweet, can be fun, and as they fall deeply in-love they remain their own people.  I admire the way they grow as individuals as they overcome their problems, and how their friendship with others is also enriched as their relationship develops.  The lemons in this fic are lovely, loving and imperative…as they say, it’s always the quiet ones!  “The Room of Requirement” comes in pretty handy, js.  Maybe I’m wearing rose lemon tinted glasses here because I’m so behind their relationship and truthfully, I’m in love with their love story.  Have a look at their first kiss…

He leaned back in and she really wished he’d just kiss her. She could feel his breath on her lips as he said, “Not in the least. Why do you think I asked you to Hogsmeade? Maybe they’ll leave me alone when they see I’m already very, very…very…taken.”

And she felt his mouth brush hers, faint as butterfly wings. It almost wasn’t a kiss, but it shook her from the roots of her hair to the ends of her toes. Then he was pulling away yet again. “Don’t do that,” she said, reaching out to grip the back of his neck and yank his head down forcefully. This time, there was no almost touch. His mouth hit hers hard; he’d nearly overbalanced and had to recover himself. Then she forgot about books and lockets and nicknames, and everything, really. Cedric Diggory knew how to give a kiss, all lips, a little tongue and complete immersion in the moment. It was very different from kissing Viktor. (And maybe she shouldn’t compare them, but couldn’t help it.)

Viktor had kissed like a Seeker, and she was the Snitch – elusive, precious, delicate . . . but his goal. His passion had overwhelmed, even if she’d never felt pressured to give him more than kisses. She’d felt flattered, swept off her feet, but not quite his equal, really.

Cedric kissed like it was a conversation – give and take, exploratory, sensual, even a bit sloppy because he wasn’t thinking of how it looked, only how it felt. He tried things that might have made her laugh – like sucking her tongue or nibbling her lower lip – but which turned her inside out instead. Cedric kissed like somebody who wanted to be kissed back.

If you are familiar with the Harry Potter series you will recognise Finding Himself as an AU rewrite of the Order of the Phoenix with a different focus and new storylines perfectly interwoven with the original.  In this world, Cedric didn’t die in the graveyard – he was hit by a dreadful debilitating curse that will eventually leave him paralysed.  18 year-old Cedric and the 16 year-old Harry have formed an unlikely friendship as they are forever bound by their shared nightmare encounter with *lowers voice* he who shall not be named.  The usual shenanigans still go on at the Ministry though, and the vile Professor Umbridge, in all her pink-suited glory, is still a sicko – this time Cedric is top of her most-wanted list.  Dumbeldore’s Army is still formed, as is S.P.E.W. – you couldn’t leave out that unfortunately named society.  The history and the ethos of the House of Hufflepuff is shown and it becomes obvious why it’s a House to be proud of…why it’s the House of a Hogwart’s Champion.

ROB:CEDRIC DANCING

If you are not at all familiar with the world of Harry Potter, never mind, you don’t need to be.  Simply enjoy it as a story of “coming of age” set against the backdrop of a tumultuous time in the world, a time of parallel crises for both Muggles* and wizards.  A classic love story of two young people who hail from completely different backgrounds.  It’s about friendships and family bonds, and standing up for who and what you believe in.  It’s the tale of a noble young man hit by personal tragedy, falling in-love for the first time, being challenged to do the right thing…it’s the story of a young man Finding Himself.

*non-magical people

Story trailer video by Handmaiden Ande

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4594634/1/FINDING-HIMSELF

Sequel can be found here, and one-shots here and here.

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Infinite Visibility by TheFicChick

 TYLER IN LIBRARY 

Infinite Visibility ~ “Bella, I’m not perfect.” “I’ve loved perfect before, and he broke me anyway.” (A “Twilight”/”Remember Me” crossover.)

Rated: Fiction M – English – Drama – Chapters: 8 – Words: 45,297 – Reviews: 590 – Favs: 330 – Follows: 455 – Updated: 07-07-13 – Published: 04-13-13 – id: 9198986

Infinite Visibility

We’ll let blood build a bridge over mountains draped in stars

I’ll meet you on the ridge between these worlds apart

We’ve got this moment now to live, then it’s all just dust and dark

Let’s let love give what it gives.”

TheFicChick says, “I play around with timelines a little bit here. In this story, the events of ‘Twilight’ and ‘New Moon’ take place in 1999, not in the 2000s, which is how that universe intersects with the ‘Remember Me’ universe.” Well, I say the universes of Twilight and Remember Me do more than intersect, they blend seamlessly together and they become a perfect whole.  Infinite Visibility is a wonderful and believable love story between Tyler and Bella set against the perfect mesh of canon from both original stories – my hat is off to TheFicChick and her way with words for achieving this so masterfully.

Edward pulled his New Moon disappearing trick and eventually Bella moved on with her life, as per his request.  She matured and developed into a lovely young woman and her desire for a complete change, a concrete jungle, led her to New York to attend college.  Edward has not been forgotten – her scars run much deeper than the physical one James inflicted in Twilight – but, with time and new experiences comes the epiphany that Edward was right…

That night is the first night since September that she dreams of Edward, the ethereal, self-proclaimed demon standing against a dreary backdrop, orchestrating his own isolation.

This is the last time you’ll ever see me. I won’t come back.

It’s the first night that she dreams the dream through and doesn’t wake up screaming.

It will be like I never existed. I promise.

It’s the first time in all the times she’s had the dream that she’s still standing when he walks away.

You just don’t belong in my world, Bella.

It isn’t until she’s bumping along in a cab headed for JFK the following morning that the realization comes: he no longer belongs in hers, either.

One thing about Bella that has not changed, however, is her love for the written word, and so she is enticed to the Strand Bookstore by its claim to have eighteen miles of books, only to receive the shock of her life when she asks…

“Excuse me; do you have Virgil’s Doomed Love?”

The boy turns to face her, and she sucks in a breath. At first glance, he’s too similar, too close a replica, too familiar, and all of the contentment that had cocooned her like cotton is torn away, leaving her feeling as though she’s been stripped and sucker-punched. She stares at him for a moment, mouth agape, before spinning and dashing up the long aisle, hearing a faint “What the hell?” coming from the boy behind her as she flees. Darting around the tables near the entrance and nearly tripping over a stroller near the checkout counter, she finally bursts through the exit and onto the crowded sidewalk.

“Watch it,” a guy with a steaming paper cup of coffee mutters as he sidesteps her, and she mutters an apology as she takes in gulping breaths, clutching one of the carts of discounted books with her bare hand, the ice-cold metal burning the skin of her palm. She lets the dull ache in her hand ground her as she navigates a sea of sensation: she feels unsettled, blindsided, as if she’s seen a ghost. It’s impossible. Patently impossible, because while the moment that she’d stared into the stranger’s face was fleeting, it was long enough for her to absorb details: the all-too-human flush of his cheeks, the blue-green of his eyes. Just a likeness, she tells herself as her breathing and her heartbeat try to regulate themselves. That’s all.

“Hey.” The voice floats over her shoulder, and her still-stuttering heart picks up the tempo, now positively hammering against her ribs as if fighting for its freedom. “Are you okay?” the look-alike asks, and she turns, half-convinced that her momentary vision had been a trick of dim lighting. Those blue-green eyes narrow, a heavy brow creased in concern.

Blue-green eyes, she wills herself to remember. Not gold. It is this detail she latches onto as she nods, but the boy is still frowning. “Are you sure? Because you kind of look like hell.”

A bark of surprised laughter escapes her lips as she stares at his face, and if she needed further assurance that the person before her was far removed from his vampire doppelganger, those rather blunt words were it.

The Edward look-a-like…who eventually persuades her to meet him for coffee… is none other than the utterly charming Tyler Hawkins.  This imperfect human is one of the good guys, he has a sensitive soul and even with a lot of baggage – or maybe because of it, he is perfect for Bella.  Their understanding of the other’s pain and the tender emotional connection they develop is lovely to witness.  To quote Kelsey, Bella’s roommate, “Every great love affair starts with something as innocuous as coffee,” and you know what – I think she is right.

This enchanting and sensuous story is creeping slowing towards September and I’m reminded of the powerful prologue (in an unknown POV), which causes me to pose as yet unanswered questions.

Stepping toward the nearest of the two square pools, I can feel the faintest spray on my face, very nearly unnoticeable. Closing my eyes, I let my hipbones rest against the bronze parapet, breathe in the faintly damp air. When I open them, a barely-there rainbow appears in the mist cast off by the falling water. The sky is a perfect, robin’s egg blue, its brilliance reflected in the gleaming new architecture bordering this now-open space. Mirrored glass reflecting light, reflecting perfect blue skies, reflecting billowing white clouds and bright spring sunshine. Perfect tranquility where there was once chaotic devastation.

I squint as I stare upward, the parapet unforgiving against my bony hips, and to either side of me, people reach out and touch engraved names with single fingertips and entire palms. I don’t touch the name etched in front of me; instead, I bring my palm up to my sternum and press it flat against the space where my heart beats steadily in my chest beneath wool coat and fleece top and cotton bra before sliding it down and beneath my arm, above xylophone ribs and inked skin. My face still tipped toward the sky, I close my eyes and remember. A perfect blue canvas marred by twin curls of acrid smoke, then a billowing cloud of dust, the everyday sounds of the city yielding to the roar of destruction and pealing screams of terror.

As I stand blind, hand registering only the faintest echo of my own heartbeat, I do what I’ve made it my life’s mission not to do: I look back.

I remember.

I don’t mean to sound cryptic; I genuinely have no idea how this story will end and TBH, I’m a little afraid that there may be heartbreak ahead – for me, as well as the characters.  Regardless, I’ve been captivated by this love story and nothing is going to stop me reading.  Don’t let it stop you either.

???????????????????????

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9198986/1/Infinite-Visibility

~———————~

ART

How To Be More by deb24601

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How To Be More ~ Art, from How to Be, toils at the grocer’s, missing his ex-girlfriend, Jessica. He’s amazed when she shows up and determined to be the ‘more’ she’s asking for. Entry in Robnipulations You Fic it We Nip it Contest. One-shot.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Humor – Words: 5,393 – Reviews: 12 – Favs: 18 – Follows: 6 – Published: 07-12-10 – Status: Complete – id: 6134646

The story starts gently with Art at work a supermarket. Please note – I am not fantasising over Art’s delectable derriere delightfully protruding up in the air as he leans over to stick his head in the freezer.

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*clears throat* As I was saying – this is how the fic opens…

Another day at the mind-numbing, soul-sucking grocer’s. Doing a job a monkey could do. Stocking shelves, pricing merchandise, and trying to avoid thinking… about Jessica. She’d dumped me, kicking me out of her apartment in the process. My parents aren’t terribly happy to have me home again. My music isn’t going well either and my mates are always frustrated with me.

Apparently I’m not much fun to be around.

Oh, Art!  If you’ve had the pleasure of seeing the film How to Be, you are probably nodding your head in agreement and smiling in recognition, as this is so typical of adorkable Art’s behaviour; deb24601 captures him perfectly in all his lovable quirkiness.  The How to Be film tagline ‘sometimes we all need a little help’ must have struck a chord with the lovely deb24601, as she, in a stroke of genius, uses Jessica (the ex-girlfriend – not to be confused with Twi Jessica of the IKR fame) as a conduit to do just that.  She presents him with a challenge, boosts his self-esteem, and then she sits lies back and reaps the reward. Lucky lady (Jessica not Deb) as Art rises magnificently to the occasion IYKWIM!

This hilarious one-shot has pervy old dears, and a hard, frozen penis, but even that’s not enough to stop this Art from being hot!  Now, there is a sentence I never thought I’d write. This Art is definitely more!

*reaches for frozen penis err…fan*

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6134646/1/How_To_Be_More

  ~———————~

ERIC

Imprudence and Gratification by Hank’s Lady

Imprudence and Gratification ~ Eric Packer, billionaire financier, is expecting his physician to give him his daily medical exam. Amusement and naughtiness ensues when Dr Black sends his son Jacob to undertake the exam instead. Slash one-shot.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Humor/Romance – Jacob & Eric P. – Words: 3,248 – Reviews: 13 – Favs: 9 – Follows: 4 – Published: 02-05-13 – Status: Complete – id: 8980853

While sitting in a darkened cinema munching on popcorn as I watched Cosmopolis for the first time, there was one question at the forefront of my mind.  No!  It wasn’t: Did Rob really pee in the limo?  Although… *snickers*

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The burning question at the forefront of my admittedly, somewhat perverted mind was: How did Eric really feel about his daily rectal examination? …But then that made me wonder: Did he gain more than the satisfaction and relief of knowing his prostrate was normal?

In this hot Cosmopolis/Twilight crossover light-hearted one-shot, the young, gay, newly qualified, Dr. Jacob Black climbs in to the limo to perform the personal procedure as it slowly makes its way across town.

Clearing my throat slightly, I lowered his shorts to uncover firm buttocks, snapped on the gloves quickly and applied lube to the fingers of my right hand. My cock twitched slightly and I grimaced, trying to remember I was a professional and the sexy naked ass in front of me was part of my job.

Raising my left hand, I tentatively spread his buttocks to reveal the tight puckered hole, noting the area leading towards his scrotum was hairless and smooth as if he had carefully shaved it – or paid someone to do it for him. I circled his hole with a lubed finger and noticed him stiffen slightly, thighs tensing.

“Breathe out and relax, Sir, I’ll try to make this as painless as possible,” I said quietly.

‘And as pleasurable as I can manage.’ I squashed the amusing thought and reminded myself again that I was a doctor.

Mmm!  Who can resist a doctor with such a good beside manner? *cough cough*
r eric

If you want to discover how Hank’s Lady’s luscious vision of Eric feels about his err…close encounter with Jacob, hop in the back of the limo to take the ride too – it has blackened out glass, js.
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http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8980853/1/Imprudence-and-Gratification

 ~———————~

JACOB

Water for Elephants Oneshot by that kiwi chick

Water for Elephants Oneshot ~ “Water for the elephant, or alcohol?” Jacob asked with a smirk, balancing the bottle in one hand and the water bucket in the other. Rosie did her elephant smile and pointed at the alcohol with her long trunk” Jacob/Marlena, Walter their son & Rosie fluff!

Rated: Fiction K+ – English – Family/Friendship – Jacob & Marlena – Words: 1,182 – Reviews: 12 – Favs: 26 – Follows: 3 – Published: 05-24-11 – Status: Complete – id: 7017584

Have you ever watched that few seconds of home video at the end of the Water for Elephants film and thought Jacob holding Walter was the cutest thing ever?  I know I have.  This sweet and fluffy one-shot showcases a few precious minutes of everyday life for the Jankowski family; it’s just how I imagined it to be.  *Happy sigh!*

“Whoa this is so high!” The small child cried, clapping his hands together and wriggling around on top of the massive animal he was sitting on. “Good girl, Rosie.” He praised, patting her wrinkled grey shoulder.

Marlena smiled and snuggled closer into her husband’s side, feeling the weight of his chin on top of her head and his breath in her hair. He ran his hands down her side, letting them come to rest on her swollen belly. She placed her smaller hand atop his and smiled at the look of awe on his face when the baby kicked at his hand.

Queenie ran in circles around Rosie’s sitting form, trying to grab the attention she wasn’t getting. Jacob and Marlena were too wrapped up in each other and Walter was still babbling on to the huge elephant and hugging her neck.

“Come here, Queenie.” Jacob commanded, chuckling at the sparkle in the old dog’s eye as she leapt into his waiting arms. Her little stub of a tail wiggled back and forth and she nuzzled into her owner’s neck and snuggled into his arms.

*Made by twvezonika*

*Made by twvezonika*

that kiwi chick has captured the warm and fun-loving characters of Jacob, Marlena, and Rosie perfectly.  While it’s lovely to see the obvious deep emotions between all the humans and animals, it’s our beloved Rosie and her antics who steals the scene.  This one-shot is very short at 1,182 words, but that is all it took for that kiwi chick to put a smile upon my face.

JACOBX2 2

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7017584/1/Water-for-Elephants-Oneshot

~———————~

Last, but definitely not least, is our beloved Edward, after all…

that’s why we are here.

edward

~———————~

*Review by Planetblue*

One Night Stand in Locked Down London by BlueIsSoul

*Made by Shahula*

*Made by Shahula*

One Night Stand in Locked Down LondonA disinterested, paranoid girl. A wealthy journalist with only one thing on his mind. Too much alcohol. A serial killer on the loose. Here’s the problem with a one-night stand in locked-down London.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Humor/Romance – Chapters: 4 – Words: 15,126 – Reviews: 215 – Favs: 328 – Follows: 669 – Updated: 06-15-13 – Published: 05-13-13 – id: 9290753

When BlueIsSoul asked me to pre-read her new story, she directed me towards an article that acted as the inspiration and appeared on Esquire.com. The piece basically centers on a guy who had the misfortune of finding himself after a one night stand unable to sneak out of the other party’s apartment during the terrifying lock down the recent bombing at the marathon caused. While the story surrounding the event is of course a tragedy, the article showed the odder side of what Boston inhabitants were going through while unable to leave wherever they had found themselves.

This got BlueIsSoul thinking. What if a British, cocky bloke of a fellow got stuck with a girl he thinks might be just this side of crazy, and caught in a similar situation? In this case, it’s an escaped serial killer that’s on the loose and wreaking havoc for the citizens of London, who are out and about, unaware they are about to be trapped.

We’ve read of the player Edward, and the arrogant Edward, but this Edward is in a class all his own. There are rules he feels men should follow, and he’s the best of the best.  He’s completely unaffected by the situation surrounding him and in fact, out drinking with his buddy Emmett when he finds himself in a bit of a predicament.

Edward’s problem is the girl that Emmett’s hook up has left him with; a Bella so paranoid about everything, she’s consumed with the thought that the serial killer is lurking behind every corner, ready to strike.

“Charlie – my dad – tried to take me to the doctor, because he thought it could be a real issue or something. I don’t go though. I mean, I’ll be labeled, and that’s when things become concrete. It’s almost like then I’ll really have something, you know what I mean?”

“Like a diagnosis?”

“Yeah.”

“…of paranoia?”

She nods. “Yeah.”

I take a sip from my pint. What do you say to someone who’s kind of admitted they choose not to go the doctor because they think they might possibly be crazy?

Nothing.

So I say just that.

Nothing.

“Then I fixate… on things, people,” she says conversationally, “men mainly.”

Err…

My psycho-chick-homing-device explodes.

BOOOM!

There are alarms blaring and shit.

Get set, Edward. Go.

Run for your life.

I wipe my forehead with my palm. I’m a little sweaty. All of a sudden I think I’m finding it difficult to breathe.

I’m still here though.

He knows he should leave. He knows he should wipe his hands of her and follow Rule #3, the most important of his rules: You shall make sure that she is relatively sane before you take old one eye to the optometrist.

What ensues is some of the most fun, effortless banter I’ve read in a long time. An Edward who is strangely fascinated by a girl who seems so uninterested in him she’s quite disdainful towards the bugger, who she assumes the worst of based on very few facts and appearance alone.

Edward’s fascination grows as the banter turns more…sexual in nature, as Bella and Edward continue to drink long after their friends have left.

“Tell me,” she commands, like it’s her privileged right to know these things.

“It’s something I’ve always thought was real hot you know, kinda like–”

Come on Edward, fucking enlighten me before I fall into a coma. Stop with the pathetic, pussiness.

I catch a hint of a smile before it turns into her usual someone-just-killed-my-cat expression.

She’s teasing now.

“I like a girl with a potty mouth. Keep it coming angel.”

“Dick.”

“What about it?” I’m so wity.

After some great back and forth I’ll leave for you to discover, and making her work for it, Edward finally admits to the good stuff.

Edward!”

I shake myself out the pep talk and gaze into her unsteady eyes.

“Okay. Um, so let’s say there are a lot of people who are there, but they don’t necessarily have to you know, participate.”

I watch her reaction, amused. Her eyes are now large saucers. “What do you mean?” It’s a whisper.

“Being watched when having sex.” My voice is gritty. “Rough, hard sex. There’s something illicit, something sexy about it. It turns me on.”

“Oh.”

Bella, being Bella, doesn’t give in too easy, but Edward is persistent. The first chapter gives you a glimpse of what kind of a night he’s got in store for him (and a taste of the odd fantasy Bella has) when he pursues the one night stand against his better judgment. You, like me, will be enthralled with the journey and dying for the city to lock down already.

BlueIsSoul’s writing is snappy, fresh, and purposeful. Being from London allows for the fun British tinge she’s given this story, something I’m particularly enjoying. It surrounds everything, and places you directly on that side of the pond. You can practically feel the warm pint on your tongue and smell the fish and chips on the table as Edward and Bella get ready to have a night neither will be able to forget (or leave, as the title suggests).

Even though it’s only going to be a few chapters in length, it promises to pack a punch.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9290753/4/One-Night-Stand-in-Locked-Down-London

~———————~

*Made by Betti Gefecht*

*Made by Betti Gefecht*

Pull your big-girl-knickers out of the drawer ladies, and put them on!

The Lemonade Stand are hosting a one-shot Angst Contest and are accepting entries until July 30th.

Click here for the details: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/4769441/

Follow them on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TLSAngstContest

~———————~

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So, what’s been getting you all hot and bothered this week?  

There is a gentle rock in the hammock with wet Rob for everyone who shares!

TheFicSix

35 Comments

Filed under Because he gives us a Reason to smile., Bel Ami, Breaking Dawn, Cosmopolis, Edward A M Cullen, Fan Fiction Friday, Fan Fiction Friday Guest Review, Fan Fiction Recs, FFF Library, FFF Posts, Georges DuRoy, How to Be, Little Ashes, New Moon, Remember Me, Rob Pattinson, Robert Pattinson, The Rover, Twilight, WFE, Writing

Manic Monday Musings

*blows kisses*

RobsFan~tasy

Well girls,

Since Rob has gone into hiding and the only pics we see of him are pap pics or fan pics (the recent poor quality Dior pics excluded), I think it’s time we remind Rob that we are here for him.

His 1% + is patiently waiting for his Public return because we want to see his beautiful face…we miss him!

So, I’m sending a message to Rob to remind him of why we all love him so much.

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Rob’s fans have known this since day 1!

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Perving on Rob is the highlight of MY day, anyway!

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Well, duh! Otherwise, I wouldn’t be here LOL!

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In fact, we FLUV Rob’s flaws…what there are of them!

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He doesn’t see it, but WE do!

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That it does!

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One of the top reasons why we love Rob!

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Fist bump!

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In my world, he is!

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What I’d like to do is definitely NSFW!!!

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Couldn’t agree more LOL!

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Which awesomeness is what we are missing…just saying!

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But I’ll tell you anyway…keep reading!

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Preferably in MY bed *THUD!*

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Baby, he was born that way LOL!

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Amen to that!

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How did we exist before Rob came along to brighten our world?

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And will be for years to come!

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YES! YES! YES!!!!!

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Come on girls! You know you have them LMAO!!!

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Doesn’t begin to cover everything!

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Well, Rob will definitely go down in history LOL!

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Yes, they do tend to make us all tongue-tied at some point!

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Can’t imagine not having Rob in my life!

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God, I could listen to that man talk or, even better, SING for-evah! *Swoon!*

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It’s a panty poofer, all right!

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And second and third and fourth and fifth and…

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And always will be!

We miss you Rob!

C’mon girls, tell Rob how much you adore him and miss him!

Much Love to you all,

RobsFan~tasy

colinas-gifstumblr

41 Comments

Filed under Because he gives us a Reason to smile., RAAWWRRR, Rob Drought, We Got Your Back!

Random Rita ~ Lovin’ BIG Rob Gifs!!!

Wet Rob Avi

Ha!

Bet you didn’t think you’d hear from me again so quick, did you?

Well, I couldn’t resist sharin’ this damn cute gif I just snagged off tumblr with you!

Especially one as BIG as this LOL!

BIG Rob 142

Those pretty eyes might be lookin’ all innocent, but that tiny little smirk says somethin’ naughty is runnin’ through his head, I’d bet LOL!

Happy Monday, y’all!

Rita

Night Raider

17 Comments

Filed under Because he gives us a Reason to smile., Rita01tx, Robert Pattinson

What A Crock!

*blows kisses*

RobsFan~tasy

 

Well, I know many of us often say, “Can he get any sweeter?” Or “Could he be any more lovable?” and just when we think it’s not possible Rob proves us wrong EVERY time! Here’s the proof…

You all remember this VF Cover right?

 

 

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Well, Apparently the Alligator and the Australian Outback had an affect on our Boy friend because, like the sweetheart he is, Rob paid to have an alligator released into the wild! All together now… 1 2 3 “Awwww!”

 

Rob, You gotta love him!

Much Love to you all,

RobsFan~tasy

15 Comments

Filed under Because he gives us a Reason to smile., Because I CAN!, it's true, Robert Pattinson

Sensual Sunday ~ What the Hell is Rob Doin’?!

Wet Rob Avi*

No epic post today, ladies!

However, if you’re like me, you are extremely curious as to just what in the hell Rob’s doin’ in this gif!

Of course, I laugh my ass off every time I see it on account of we all know what it looks like he’s doin’!

But is it???

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So, after lots and lots of fun research, I finally found the interview!!!

Part 1:

It’s quite a long interview, but it’s ROB at his adorkable best!

Part 2:

The gif starts at 1:37 “If you make any answer go longer than 20 seconds, people are like…” So, YEAH, he’s definitely makin’ the gesture we all think he’s makin’ LMAO!!!

Happy Sunday, y’all!

Rita

Night Raider

18 Comments

Filed under Because he gives us a Reason to smile., Rita01tx, Robert Pattinson, Twilight

Random Rita ~ Rob, Expert Sex Haver!

Wet Rob Avi

Surprise!

Don’t stop me…I’m on a roll LMAO!!!

Thing is, I found this gif and couldn’t figure out what the hell was goin’ on!

When was this? Where was this, and what IS Rob doin’???

BIG Rob 029

My only clue was the T4 logo behind him so I did a search of YouTube and found it posted back in November for the BD2 promo!

LMAO!  If you haven’t seen it already, watch {again} and enjoy Rob’s word vomit…it’s a hoot!

  • “Kick some ass!”
  • Edward and Bella are supposed to be “expert sex havers!” LMAO!!!
  • What award would he like to win? “Best at everything…King of the World!”

Happy Wednesday, y’all!

Rita

Night Raider

16 Comments

Filed under Because he gives us a Reason to smile., Breaking Dawn, Goofalicious, Rita01tx, Robert Pattinson

Monday Madness~ Robert in Wonderland

*blows kisses*

RobsFan~tasy

Oh my gosh Ladies!!!

I’ve missed a few Monday Madness posts. Hope this makes up for it!!!

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You all know posting Monday Madness is my favorite thing ever, especially when I get a great idea for an “Epic” post. Well, I haven’t had an epic idea since “The Invasion of the Robs!” Ever since I wrote that one, I just keep thinking, “What can I do next?”

The answer? Rob and I are going to Wonderland!!! So, if you want to go with us, you know what you have to do…

FOLLOW THE WHITE RABBIT…

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WELCOME TO…

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One gorgeous summer day, RF and Rob are sitting on the meadow when RF spots a white rabbit. Being a huge sucker for bunnies, she runs after it but the rabbit disappears into the hollow of a tree.

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Now, when she reaches for it, she slips and starts to fall! Rob, being the gentleman that he is, grabs her ankle to stop her and they tumble down the rabbit hole together.

gC1LH

WHOA!!!

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The real trouble begins when Rob finally reaches the bottom only to discover that RF has vanished!

Rob finds himself in a room with a tiny door, but he’s much too large to fit through it. Searching for another way out, he spies a round, glass top table with an intricate key on it, along with a bottle that looks suspiciously like a Heinekin, only the lable says “Drink Me!”

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A drink would be good right about now and it does look very cool and refreshing…

Drink me heini by Mississippibellalis

With a shrug of his shoulders,

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Rob drinks…

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and suddenly feels a little bit…odd!

Enhanced by Verena 108

“WTF?”

It feels he’s shrinking, but how is that even possible?

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{{Shrinking}}

Moments later, Rob discovers he has shrunk! Now he’s small enough to fit through the door. Unfortunately, it’s locked! Oh, noze! He looks up through the bottom of the glass top table that towers above him and sees that he’s left the tiny key to the door behind! Double Oh, Noze! Then he notices a very tiny table below the much larger one. On it is a cupcake that simply says…

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“EAT ME”

Eat me? Seriously? Rob ponders the problem of the table and the key. Knowing he has no other choice…

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he eats the cupake and squeezes his eyes shut in anticipation!

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{{{{{{GROWING}}}}}}}

Now stretched back to normal, Rob quickly retrieves the key. Fortunately, there’s enough of the strange drink left to shrink back down to fit through the door. Once through the door, Rob finds himself in a beautiful garden of daisies surrouned by other flowers! In the middle of the field of daisies is a life-sized statue of…Himself!

Smexy in the Daisies by Mississippibellalis

“What in the world?” Rob says, out loud.

“Don’t you mean where in the world?” a voice asks.

“Who said that?” Rob cries. He looks around but there’s no one there! Peering at the statue suspiciously, he begins to wonder if it had spoken to him.

“Curiouser and Curiouser,” he says as he walks around the statue a few times inspecting it. It was very realistic looking  yet not quite life-like. Rob reaches out to touch it.

????????????

“DON’T DO THAT!” someone yells.

“She’ll get you if you touch her things!”

“RF doesn’t like anyone messing with her toys!”

“Who said that?” Rob asks again, looking all around.

“We said it!”

grouchy BUDS by Mississippibellalis

“We said it!”

“Talking flowers? Where am I, in OZ?” Rob asks, not believing his eyes.

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“That’s another story entirely!” Yellow Rose cries.

“RF will not like you calling this place OZ or calling us flowers! We’re Roses!” Pink Rose states indignantly.

“RF? Do you know where she is?” Rob asks.

“Where who is?” asks Blue Rose.

“RobsFan~tasy!” Rob exclaims.

“We don’t know anyone named RobsFan~tasy! Who are you?”

“I’m Rob and I came here with RF!” Rob explained.

“You just said you didn’t know where RF is,” Yellow Rose giggles.

“And, if you are Rob, and she is your fantasy, then she doesn’t really exist, now does she?”

“Oh! forget it! I’ll find her myself! Can you tell me where I am?” Rob asks, now thoroughly annoyed.

Enhanced by Verena 175

“Well, if you don’t know where you are, how did you get here?” Pink Rose asks.

“He probably doesn’t even know where he’s been!” Yellow Rose cries.

“I bloody well know where I’ve been and I know where I’ve gone! I’ve gone ’round the bend, that’s for sure!”

“Had you gone ‘Round the Bend,’ you’d be talking to me and not those idiot flowers,” a new voice says behind him.

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Rob spins around…the world spinning with him…and when it stops, he’s standing in front of a mushroom that’s not much taller than he is. Upon the great mushroom sits a hookah smokin’ caterpillar!!!
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“Well, since you deem them as idiotic as I do, hopefully, you’ll makes some bloody sense. Who are you?” Rob asks the caterpillar.

“Who are YOU?”  replies the caterpillar as he puffs on his hookah.

“Oh, bloody hell. You’re no better than the roses.  Don’t you think you should tell me who you are?”

“Why?”

“Well, if you ask me…”

“You? Who.Are.You?”

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“Oh, for heaven’s sake! Do you know where I can find RF?”

“In the alphabet, of course.”

“I mean RobsFan-tasy.”

“Then you should say what you mean.”

“Can’t anyone give a straight answer around here?”

“If it’s answers you seek, the answers are in the smoke,” The caterpillar says, holding out the hookah pipe to Rob.

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Rob feels a little woozy after smoking the hookah and begins to see all sorts of colors whirling around his head mixed in with the smoke.The smoke takes on the form of a cat and then transforms into along table with many chairs. It becomes a rose before finally changing into a crown. Rob doesn’t know what the images mean but has the feeling he really needs to get away from the hooka when he sees that the caterpillar transform into a multicolored butterfly. Rob climbs down from the mushroom and starts to leave when the butterfly calls out to him.

“One side makes you taller.”

“One side of what?”

“The other makes you small”

“Other side of what?”

“The mushroom, of course.”

Rob figures traveling would go much faster if he were larger than 3 inches tall, so he breaks off a piece from each side of the mushroom and stuffs them in his pocket. Then he breaks off two more pieces and, with only a little hesitation, takes a bite of one of them. He returns back to his natural size. Rob laughs at the absurdity of it all!

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“Is this crazy, or what?”

There are signs everywhere. Big signs and little signs, pointing in every possible direction.

“I’ll never find RF at this rate!” he says, turning ’round and ’round, looking at all the signs. As he turns, he comes face to…uh…grin with something.

“Lose something?” the grin asks.

Loose something?"

Lose something?”

“Um, yeah…kind of. I’m looking for RF. Can you tell me which way I should go?” Rob asks as the grin grows into a Cheshire cat.

“That depends on where you want to get to.”

“Oh, well that really doesn’t matter as long as…”

“Then it really doesn’t matter which way you go,” the cat says. “Ohhhh, by the way…if you’d really like to know, she went that way.”

“Who did?”

“RF.”

“She did?” Rob asks, pleased that he was finally getting an answer.

“She did what?”

“Went that way!”

“Who did?”

“RF!”

“Who’s RF?”

“But didn’t you just say…oh, bloody hell! Just forget it!”

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“However, if I were looking for an RF, I’d ask the Mad Hatter,” the cat says, pointing to a sign that read MAD HATTER. Well, the last thing Rob wanted was more madness.

“Um, no…no thank you! I, I don’t…”

“OR, there’s always the March Hare in that direction,” the cat tells him as he points in the opposite direction.

“Yes, thank you. I think I’ll go see him.”

“Of course, he’s mad too!” the cat replies.

“Noooo! I can’t take any more mad people!!” Rob exclaims.

“Oh, you can’t help that! Most everyone’s mad around here! You may have noticed that I’m not all there myself!”

Cheshire cat

“Most everyone’s mad here! You may have noticed that I’m not all there myself!”

“I’m mad. You’re mad, ” the cat goes on, not giving Rob a chance to comment.

“How do you know I’m mad?” asks Rob.

“Oh, you must be or you wouldn’t have come here.”

With that, the cat vanishes into a fit of dissolving giggles.

To be Continued…

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Much Love to you all,

RobsFan~tasy

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 I have to extend a Super HUGE Awesome THANK YOU To Mississippibellalis for making all the above “Rob in Wonderland” manips and gifs with Rob and RF in them. Her edits and graphic work helped inspire this post and as you can see She has an awesome Talent! Thank You Missi, It was great working with you!! 

And as always I couldn’t do these Crazy posts without the Help of My girl Rita01tx. Thanks BB!! You’s da best!

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Filed under Because he gives us a Reason to smile., Because I CAN!, Just For Shizz and Giggles, Missing Our Boyfriend, Monday Madness, Rob Drought, Tybert, We All Go A Little Mad Sometimes

Random Rita ~ Checkin’ That Ass!

Wet Rob Avi

Ladies!!

See, I was just tryin’ to reorganize my Pinterest RobPorn collection and came across this photo of Rob during the WFE promo tour in Madrid!

Well, it sent me into a fit of giggles that just won’t quit!

CheckinThatAss

Now, I ask you…is that boy checkin’ out his own ass in a mirror?

Happy Wednesday, y’all!

Rita

Night Raider

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Filed under Because he gives us a Reason to smile., Missing Our Boyfriend, Rita01tx, Robert Pattinson, WFE

Monday Madness~ NSFW Giggles

*blows kisses*

RobsFan~tasy

Well Ladies, Not gonna say much except I am working on an epic post which is taking a lot of time so for now, I’m going to leave you with these little bits of fun I found awhile back! Hope you enjoy them! Positively NSFW due to the hilarious content that may draw unwanted attention your way.

You have been warned!

Much Love to you All,

♥RobsFantasy♥

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because we LURVE You

Because We LOVE You Rob!!

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Filed under Bad lip reading, Because he gives us a Reason to smile., Happy Valentine's Day, Monday Madness, Rob Pattinson