Category Archives: Bel Ami

Rob Roles

*A Selection of Rob's Roles*

*A Selection of Rob’s Roles*

Let’s roll on through the Summer with Rob Roles.  We are usually all about Edward here on FanFiction Fridays, but this week he has been joined by a few other fascinating characters who we have been kindly introduced to by Rob.  A big, warm welcome to Cedric, Tyler, Art, Eric and Jacob as they make their FFF debut.

Welcome wishes and thanks go to the gorgeous and talented Planetblue for joining us today – it’s a pleasure and honour to have you here.

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*Reviews by Cared*

CEDRIC

Finding Himself by Minisinoo

findinghimself

Finding Himself ~ The-Boy-Who-Almost-Died has to figure out what it means that he didn’t. Harry’s tumultuous 5th year at Hogwarts is Cedric’s 7th and final. Bound together by shared trauma, both boys fall under Ministry suspicion … Who is Cedric Diggory? Cedric!Lives AU

Rated: Fiction M – English – Suspense/Romance – Cedric D. & Hermione G. – Chapters: 40 – Words: 350,952 – Reviews: 665 – Favs: 1,022 – Follows: 184 – Updated: 11-19-08 – Published: 10-13-08 – Status: Complete – id: 4594634

I’m so excited to share my love of this story with you today…it’s one of my all-time top 5 favourite fics.  Needless to say, the other 4 places are taken by beloved Twilight stories, you know, I even surprised myself by ranking another fic genre so highly.  Now that I think about it, I know why this magnificent novel, yes, novel, for that’s what it is, earned that coveted position.  I was stunned when I first read this story a few years ago, and the feelings invoked by it have not faded from my memory.  I’ve got to be honest here and confess to you, while I read and enjoyed all the Harry Potter books and saw all the films, it was the lure of Cedric that initially drew me to Finding Himself.  Don’t judge me – you cannot deny he was gorgeous in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. LOL

CED

There are many reasons why Finding Himself is one of my favourites, but what stands head and shoulders above the others is the brilliant presentation of the absolutely beautiful love story depicted between Cedric and Hermione. Honestly, it rivals that of Edward and Bella, and in fact, in some ways it’s a lot healthier.  The romance is sweet, can be fun, and as they fall deeply in-love they remain their own people.  I admire the way they grow as individuals as they overcome their problems, and how their friendship with others is also enriched as their relationship develops.  The lemons in this fic are lovely, loving and imperative…as they say, it’s always the quiet ones!  “The Room of Requirement” comes in pretty handy, js.  Maybe I’m wearing rose lemon tinted glasses here because I’m so behind their relationship and truthfully, I’m in love with their love story.  Have a look at their first kiss…

He leaned back in and she really wished he’d just kiss her. She could feel his breath on her lips as he said, “Not in the least. Why do you think I asked you to Hogsmeade? Maybe they’ll leave me alone when they see I’m already very, very…very…taken.”

And she felt his mouth brush hers, faint as butterfly wings. It almost wasn’t a kiss, but it shook her from the roots of her hair to the ends of her toes. Then he was pulling away yet again. “Don’t do that,” she said, reaching out to grip the back of his neck and yank his head down forcefully. This time, there was no almost touch. His mouth hit hers hard; he’d nearly overbalanced and had to recover himself. Then she forgot about books and lockets and nicknames, and everything, really. Cedric Diggory knew how to give a kiss, all lips, a little tongue and complete immersion in the moment. It was very different from kissing Viktor. (And maybe she shouldn’t compare them, but couldn’t help it.)

Viktor had kissed like a Seeker, and she was the Snitch – elusive, precious, delicate . . . but his goal. His passion had overwhelmed, even if she’d never felt pressured to give him more than kisses. She’d felt flattered, swept off her feet, but not quite his equal, really.

Cedric kissed like it was a conversation – give and take, exploratory, sensual, even a bit sloppy because he wasn’t thinking of how it looked, only how it felt. He tried things that might have made her laugh – like sucking her tongue or nibbling her lower lip – but which turned her inside out instead. Cedric kissed like somebody who wanted to be kissed back.

If you are familiar with the Harry Potter series you will recognise Finding Himself as an AU rewrite of the Order of the Phoenix with a different focus and new storylines perfectly interwoven with the original.  In this world, Cedric didn’t die in the graveyard – he was hit by a dreadful debilitating curse that will eventually leave him paralysed.  18 year-old Cedric and the 16 year-old Harry have formed an unlikely friendship as they are forever bound by their shared nightmare encounter with *lowers voice* he who shall not be named.  The usual shenanigans still go on at the Ministry though, and the vile Professor Umbridge, in all her pink-suited glory, is still a sicko – this time Cedric is top of her most-wanted list.  Dumbeldore’s Army is still formed, as is S.P.E.W. – you couldn’t leave out that unfortunately named society.  The history and the ethos of the House of Hufflepuff is shown and it becomes obvious why it’s a House to be proud of…why it’s the House of a Hogwart’s Champion.

ROB:CEDRIC DANCING

If you are not at all familiar with the world of Harry Potter, never mind, you don’t need to be.  Simply enjoy it as a story of “coming of age” set against the backdrop of a tumultuous time in the world, a time of parallel crises for both Muggles* and wizards.  A classic love story of two young people who hail from completely different backgrounds.  It’s about friendships and family bonds, and standing up for who and what you believe in.  It’s the tale of a noble young man hit by personal tragedy, falling in-love for the first time, being challenged to do the right thing…it’s the story of a young man Finding Himself.

*non-magical people

Story trailer video by Handmaiden Ande

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4594634/1/FINDING-HIMSELF

Sequel can be found here, and one-shots here and here.

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Infinite Visibility by TheFicChick

 TYLER IN LIBRARY 

Infinite Visibility ~ “Bella, I’m not perfect.” “I’ve loved perfect before, and he broke me anyway.” (A “Twilight”/”Remember Me” crossover.)

Rated: Fiction M – English – Drama – Chapters: 8 – Words: 45,297 – Reviews: 590 – Favs: 330 – Follows: 455 – Updated: 07-07-13 – Published: 04-13-13 – id: 9198986

Infinite Visibility

We’ll let blood build a bridge over mountains draped in stars

I’ll meet you on the ridge between these worlds apart

We’ve got this moment now to live, then it’s all just dust and dark

Let’s let love give what it gives.”

TheFicChick says, “I play around with timelines a little bit here. In this story, the events of ‘Twilight’ and ‘New Moon’ take place in 1999, not in the 2000s, which is how that universe intersects with the ‘Remember Me’ universe.” Well, I say the universes of Twilight and Remember Me do more than intersect, they blend seamlessly together and they become a perfect whole.  Infinite Visibility is a wonderful and believable love story between Tyler and Bella set against the perfect mesh of canon from both original stories – my hat is off to TheFicChick and her way with words for achieving this so masterfully.

Edward pulled his New Moon disappearing trick and eventually Bella moved on with her life, as per his request.  She matured and developed into a lovely young woman and her desire for a complete change, a concrete jungle, led her to New York to attend college.  Edward has not been forgotten – her scars run much deeper than the physical one James inflicted in Twilight – but, with time and new experiences comes the epiphany that Edward was right…

That night is the first night since September that she dreams of Edward, the ethereal, self-proclaimed demon standing against a dreary backdrop, orchestrating his own isolation.

This is the last time you’ll ever see me. I won’t come back.

It’s the first night that she dreams the dream through and doesn’t wake up screaming.

It will be like I never existed. I promise.

It’s the first time in all the times she’s had the dream that she’s still standing when he walks away.

You just don’t belong in my world, Bella.

It isn’t until she’s bumping along in a cab headed for JFK the following morning that the realization comes: he no longer belongs in hers, either.

One thing about Bella that has not changed, however, is her love for the written word, and so she is enticed to the Strand Bookstore by its claim to have eighteen miles of books, only to receive the shock of her life when she asks…

“Excuse me; do you have Virgil’s Doomed Love?”

The boy turns to face her, and she sucks in a breath. At first glance, he’s too similar, too close a replica, too familiar, and all of the contentment that had cocooned her like cotton is torn away, leaving her feeling as though she’s been stripped and sucker-punched. She stares at him for a moment, mouth agape, before spinning and dashing up the long aisle, hearing a faint “What the hell?” coming from the boy behind her as she flees. Darting around the tables near the entrance and nearly tripping over a stroller near the checkout counter, she finally bursts through the exit and onto the crowded sidewalk.

“Watch it,” a guy with a steaming paper cup of coffee mutters as he sidesteps her, and she mutters an apology as she takes in gulping breaths, clutching one of the carts of discounted books with her bare hand, the ice-cold metal burning the skin of her palm. She lets the dull ache in her hand ground her as she navigates a sea of sensation: she feels unsettled, blindsided, as if she’s seen a ghost. It’s impossible. Patently impossible, because while the moment that she’d stared into the stranger’s face was fleeting, it was long enough for her to absorb details: the all-too-human flush of his cheeks, the blue-green of his eyes. Just a likeness, she tells herself as her breathing and her heartbeat try to regulate themselves. That’s all.

“Hey.” The voice floats over her shoulder, and her still-stuttering heart picks up the tempo, now positively hammering against her ribs as if fighting for its freedom. “Are you okay?” the look-alike asks, and she turns, half-convinced that her momentary vision had been a trick of dim lighting. Those blue-green eyes narrow, a heavy brow creased in concern.

Blue-green eyes, she wills herself to remember. Not gold. It is this detail she latches onto as she nods, but the boy is still frowning. “Are you sure? Because you kind of look like hell.”

A bark of surprised laughter escapes her lips as she stares at his face, and if she needed further assurance that the person before her was far removed from his vampire doppelganger, those rather blunt words were it.

The Edward look-a-like…who eventually persuades her to meet him for coffee… is none other than the utterly charming Tyler Hawkins.  This imperfect human is one of the good guys, he has a sensitive soul and even with a lot of baggage – or maybe because of it, he is perfect for Bella.  Their understanding of the other’s pain and the tender emotional connection they develop is lovely to witness.  To quote Kelsey, Bella’s roommate, “Every great love affair starts with something as innocuous as coffee,” and you know what – I think she is right.

This enchanting and sensuous story is creeping slowing towards September and I’m reminded of the powerful prologue (in an unknown POV), which causes me to pose as yet unanswered questions.

Stepping toward the nearest of the two square pools, I can feel the faintest spray on my face, very nearly unnoticeable. Closing my eyes, I let my hipbones rest against the bronze parapet, breathe in the faintly damp air. When I open them, a barely-there rainbow appears in the mist cast off by the falling water. The sky is a perfect, robin’s egg blue, its brilliance reflected in the gleaming new architecture bordering this now-open space. Mirrored glass reflecting light, reflecting perfect blue skies, reflecting billowing white clouds and bright spring sunshine. Perfect tranquility where there was once chaotic devastation.

I squint as I stare upward, the parapet unforgiving against my bony hips, and to either side of me, people reach out and touch engraved names with single fingertips and entire palms. I don’t touch the name etched in front of me; instead, I bring my palm up to my sternum and press it flat against the space where my heart beats steadily in my chest beneath wool coat and fleece top and cotton bra before sliding it down and beneath my arm, above xylophone ribs and inked skin. My face still tipped toward the sky, I close my eyes and remember. A perfect blue canvas marred by twin curls of acrid smoke, then a billowing cloud of dust, the everyday sounds of the city yielding to the roar of destruction and pealing screams of terror.

As I stand blind, hand registering only the faintest echo of my own heartbeat, I do what I’ve made it my life’s mission not to do: I look back.

I remember.

I don’t mean to sound cryptic; I genuinely have no idea how this story will end and TBH, I’m a little afraid that there may be heartbreak ahead – for me, as well as the characters.  Regardless, I’ve been captivated by this love story and nothing is going to stop me reading.  Don’t let it stop you either.

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http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9198986/1/Infinite-Visibility

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ART

How To Be More by deb24601

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How To Be More ~ Art, from How to Be, toils at the grocer’s, missing his ex-girlfriend, Jessica. He’s amazed when she shows up and determined to be the ‘more’ she’s asking for. Entry in Robnipulations You Fic it We Nip it Contest. One-shot.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Humor – Words: 5,393 – Reviews: 12 – Favs: 18 – Follows: 6 – Published: 07-12-10 – Status: Complete – id: 6134646

The story starts gently with Art at work a supermarket. Please note – I am not fantasising over Art’s delectable derriere delightfully protruding up in the air as he leans over to stick his head in the freezer.

head

*clears throat* As I was saying – this is how the fic opens…

Another day at the mind-numbing, soul-sucking grocer’s. Doing a job a monkey could do. Stocking shelves, pricing merchandise, and trying to avoid thinking… about Jessica. She’d dumped me, kicking me out of her apartment in the process. My parents aren’t terribly happy to have me home again. My music isn’t going well either and my mates are always frustrated with me.

Apparently I’m not much fun to be around.

Oh, Art!  If you’ve had the pleasure of seeing the film How to Be, you are probably nodding your head in agreement and smiling in recognition, as this is so typical of adorkable Art’s behaviour; deb24601 captures him perfectly in all his lovable quirkiness.  The How to Be film tagline ‘sometimes we all need a little help’ must have struck a chord with the lovely deb24601, as she, in a stroke of genius, uses Jessica (the ex-girlfriend – not to be confused with Twi Jessica of the IKR fame) as a conduit to do just that.  She presents him with a challenge, boosts his self-esteem, and then she sits lies back and reaps the reward. Lucky lady (Jessica not Deb) as Art rises magnificently to the occasion IYKWIM!

This hilarious one-shot has pervy old dears, and a hard, frozen penis, but even that’s not enough to stop this Art from being hot!  Now, there is a sentence I never thought I’d write. This Art is definitely more!

*reaches for frozen penis err…fan*

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6134646/1/How_To_Be_More

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ERIC

Imprudence and Gratification by Hank’s Lady

Imprudence and Gratification ~ Eric Packer, billionaire financier, is expecting his physician to give him his daily medical exam. Amusement and naughtiness ensues when Dr Black sends his son Jacob to undertake the exam instead. Slash one-shot.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Humor/Romance – Jacob & Eric P. – Words: 3,248 – Reviews: 13 – Favs: 9 – Follows: 4 – Published: 02-05-13 – Status: Complete – id: 8980853

While sitting in a darkened cinema munching on popcorn as I watched Cosmopolis for the first time, there was one question at the forefront of my mind.  No!  It wasn’t: Did Rob really pee in the limo?  Although… *snickers*

2-pissing-in-limo-2-Copy

The burning question at the forefront of my admittedly, somewhat perverted mind was: How did Eric really feel about his daily rectal examination? …But then that made me wonder: Did he gain more than the satisfaction and relief of knowing his prostrate was normal?

In this hot Cosmopolis/Twilight crossover light-hearted one-shot, the young, gay, newly qualified, Dr. Jacob Black climbs in to the limo to perform the personal procedure as it slowly makes its way across town.

Clearing my throat slightly, I lowered his shorts to uncover firm buttocks, snapped on the gloves quickly and applied lube to the fingers of my right hand. My cock twitched slightly and I grimaced, trying to remember I was a professional and the sexy naked ass in front of me was part of my job.

Raising my left hand, I tentatively spread his buttocks to reveal the tight puckered hole, noting the area leading towards his scrotum was hairless and smooth as if he had carefully shaved it – or paid someone to do it for him. I circled his hole with a lubed finger and noticed him stiffen slightly, thighs tensing.

“Breathe out and relax, Sir, I’ll try to make this as painless as possible,” I said quietly.

‘And as pleasurable as I can manage.’ I squashed the amusing thought and reminded myself again that I was a doctor.

Mmm!  Who can resist a doctor with such a good beside manner? *cough cough*
r eric

If you want to discover how Hank’s Lady’s luscious vision of Eric feels about his err…close encounter with Jacob, hop in the back of the limo to take the ride too – it has blackened out glass, js.
arts_dvd-cosmopolis_12-30

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8980853/1/Imprudence-and-Gratification

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JACOB

Water for Elephants Oneshot by that kiwi chick

Water for Elephants Oneshot ~ “Water for the elephant, or alcohol?” Jacob asked with a smirk, balancing the bottle in one hand and the water bucket in the other. Rosie did her elephant smile and pointed at the alcohol with her long trunk” Jacob/Marlena, Walter their son & Rosie fluff!

Rated: Fiction K+ – English – Family/Friendship – Jacob & Marlena – Words: 1,182 – Reviews: 12 – Favs: 26 – Follows: 3 – Published: 05-24-11 – Status: Complete – id: 7017584

Have you ever watched that few seconds of home video at the end of the Water for Elephants film and thought Jacob holding Walter was the cutest thing ever?  I know I have.  This sweet and fluffy one-shot showcases a few precious minutes of everyday life for the Jankowski family; it’s just how I imagined it to be.  *Happy sigh!*

“Whoa this is so high!” The small child cried, clapping his hands together and wriggling around on top of the massive animal he was sitting on. “Good girl, Rosie.” He praised, patting her wrinkled grey shoulder.

Marlena smiled and snuggled closer into her husband’s side, feeling the weight of his chin on top of her head and his breath in her hair. He ran his hands down her side, letting them come to rest on her swollen belly. She placed her smaller hand atop his and smiled at the look of awe on his face when the baby kicked at his hand.

Queenie ran in circles around Rosie’s sitting form, trying to grab the attention she wasn’t getting. Jacob and Marlena were too wrapped up in each other and Walter was still babbling on to the huge elephant and hugging her neck.

“Come here, Queenie.” Jacob commanded, chuckling at the sparkle in the old dog’s eye as she leapt into his waiting arms. Her little stub of a tail wiggled back and forth and she nuzzled into her owner’s neck and snuggled into his arms.

*Made by twvezonika*

*Made by twvezonika*

that kiwi chick has captured the warm and fun-loving characters of Jacob, Marlena, and Rosie perfectly.  While it’s lovely to see the obvious deep emotions between all the humans and animals, it’s our beloved Rosie and her antics who steals the scene.  This one-shot is very short at 1,182 words, but that is all it took for that kiwi chick to put a smile upon my face.

JACOBX2 2

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7017584/1/Water-for-Elephants-Oneshot

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Last, but definitely not least, is our beloved Edward, after all…

that’s why we are here.

edward

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*Review by Planetblue*

One Night Stand in Locked Down London by BlueIsSoul

*Made by Shahula*

*Made by Shahula*

One Night Stand in Locked Down LondonA disinterested, paranoid girl. A wealthy journalist with only one thing on his mind. Too much alcohol. A serial killer on the loose. Here’s the problem with a one-night stand in locked-down London.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Humor/Romance – Chapters: 4 – Words: 15,126 – Reviews: 215 – Favs: 328 – Follows: 669 – Updated: 06-15-13 – Published: 05-13-13 – id: 9290753

When BlueIsSoul asked me to pre-read her new story, she directed me towards an article that acted as the inspiration and appeared on Esquire.com. The piece basically centers on a guy who had the misfortune of finding himself after a one night stand unable to sneak out of the other party’s apartment during the terrifying lock down the recent bombing at the marathon caused. While the story surrounding the event is of course a tragedy, the article showed the odder side of what Boston inhabitants were going through while unable to leave wherever they had found themselves.

This got BlueIsSoul thinking. What if a British, cocky bloke of a fellow got stuck with a girl he thinks might be just this side of crazy, and caught in a similar situation? In this case, it’s an escaped serial killer that’s on the loose and wreaking havoc for the citizens of London, who are out and about, unaware they are about to be trapped.

We’ve read of the player Edward, and the arrogant Edward, but this Edward is in a class all his own. There are rules he feels men should follow, and he’s the best of the best.  He’s completely unaffected by the situation surrounding him and in fact, out drinking with his buddy Emmett when he finds himself in a bit of a predicament.

Edward’s problem is the girl that Emmett’s hook up has left him with; a Bella so paranoid about everything, she’s consumed with the thought that the serial killer is lurking behind every corner, ready to strike.

“Charlie – my dad – tried to take me to the doctor, because he thought it could be a real issue or something. I don’t go though. I mean, I’ll be labeled, and that’s when things become concrete. It’s almost like then I’ll really have something, you know what I mean?”

“Like a diagnosis?”

“Yeah.”

“…of paranoia?”

She nods. “Yeah.”

I take a sip from my pint. What do you say to someone who’s kind of admitted they choose not to go the doctor because they think they might possibly be crazy?

Nothing.

So I say just that.

Nothing.

“Then I fixate… on things, people,” she says conversationally, “men mainly.”

Err…

My psycho-chick-homing-device explodes.

BOOOM!

There are alarms blaring and shit.

Get set, Edward. Go.

Run for your life.

I wipe my forehead with my palm. I’m a little sweaty. All of a sudden I think I’m finding it difficult to breathe.

I’m still here though.

He knows he should leave. He knows he should wipe his hands of her and follow Rule #3, the most important of his rules: You shall make sure that she is relatively sane before you take old one eye to the optometrist.

What ensues is some of the most fun, effortless banter I’ve read in a long time. An Edward who is strangely fascinated by a girl who seems so uninterested in him she’s quite disdainful towards the bugger, who she assumes the worst of based on very few facts and appearance alone.

Edward’s fascination grows as the banter turns more…sexual in nature, as Bella and Edward continue to drink long after their friends have left.

“Tell me,” she commands, like it’s her privileged right to know these things.

“It’s something I’ve always thought was real hot you know, kinda like–”

Come on Edward, fucking enlighten me before I fall into a coma. Stop with the pathetic, pussiness.

I catch a hint of a smile before it turns into her usual someone-just-killed-my-cat expression.

She’s teasing now.

“I like a girl with a potty mouth. Keep it coming angel.”

“Dick.”

“What about it?” I’m so wity.

After some great back and forth I’ll leave for you to discover, and making her work for it, Edward finally admits to the good stuff.

Edward!”

I shake myself out the pep talk and gaze into her unsteady eyes.

“Okay. Um, so let’s say there are a lot of people who are there, but they don’t necessarily have to you know, participate.”

I watch her reaction, amused. Her eyes are now large saucers. “What do you mean?” It’s a whisper.

“Being watched when having sex.” My voice is gritty. “Rough, hard sex. There’s something illicit, something sexy about it. It turns me on.”

“Oh.”

Bella, being Bella, doesn’t give in too easy, but Edward is persistent. The first chapter gives you a glimpse of what kind of a night he’s got in store for him (and a taste of the odd fantasy Bella has) when he pursues the one night stand against his better judgment. You, like me, will be enthralled with the journey and dying for the city to lock down already.

BlueIsSoul’s writing is snappy, fresh, and purposeful. Being from London allows for the fun British tinge she’s given this story, something I’m particularly enjoying. It surrounds everything, and places you directly on that side of the pond. You can practically feel the warm pint on your tongue and smell the fish and chips on the table as Edward and Bella get ready to have a night neither will be able to forget (or leave, as the title suggests).

Even though it’s only going to be a few chapters in length, it promises to pack a punch.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9290753/4/One-Night-Stand-in-Locked-Down-London

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*Made by Betti Gefecht*

*Made by Betti Gefecht*

Pull your big-girl-knickers out of the drawer ladies, and put them on!

The Lemonade Stand are hosting a one-shot Angst Contest and are accepting entries until July 30th.

Click here for the details: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/4769441/

Follow them on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TLSAngstContest

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So, what’s been getting you all hot and bothered this week?  

There is a gentle rock in the hammock with wet Rob for everyone who shares!

TheFicSix

35 Comments

Filed under Because he gives us a Reason to smile., Bel Ami, Breaking Dawn, Cosmopolis, Edward A M Cullen, Fan Fiction Friday, Fan Fiction Friday Guest Review, Fan Fiction Recs, FFF Library, FFF Posts, Georges DuRoy, How to Be, Little Ashes, New Moon, Remember Me, Rob Pattinson, Robert Pattinson, The Rover, Twilight, WFE, Writing

Sensual Sunday ~ The Cuteness Factor!

WARNING: If you’re readin’ this at work, you might wanna wait til you get home…just sayin’!

Don’t know ’bout you, ladies, but I feel the need to exercise our Rob given right to PERV!

These pics have been burnin’ a hole in my pocket for a while now, and I do believe it’s the perfect time to share!

It wasn’t until recently that I found out who was doin’ these, but I remember laughin’ my ass off the first time I saw Jayme DuRob puttin’ herself right where we all want to be…in the photo with Rob!!!

Jayme has done this in the cutest way imaginable {and the perviest…just wait for it} !!!

What? No itsy bitsy teeny weeny purple polka-dot bikini, darlin’?  {Hell’n I should talk…gave up wearin’ bikini’s years ago LOL!}

Ride ‘im, Jayme!  Wooeeeee!!!  {I cursed and blessed the fuckin’ paps in the same breath that day, ’cause there wasn’t any way in hell I wasn’t gonna watch The Pretty havin’ the time of his life!}

It ain’t easy gettin’ Rob’s attention, is it sweetie?  Anyone who’s ever stood in line for him can testify to that LOL! {Anyone else findin’ yourself livin’ vicariously through “ME”? GAW…just the chance to stroke that face…DED!!}

Now what the heck’s the name of those shoes with the red soles again? Don’t look like he’s impressed with fancy footware, angel! {Although I think HE might be makin’ a BIG impression on her butt…stop wrigglin’, darlin’ *gigglesnort!*}

I think you got his attention that time, hon…just not the kind you were lookin’ for! {Can’t tell if he’s about to scratch or sneeze LOL!}

All riiiiight! Now we’re gettin’ somewhere, darlin’!  Well, damn…Rob seems a bit distracted, though. You got any other ideas?  {Man don’t kiss with his eyes open if he’s payin’ attention, right?}

OK, good strategy! Make friends with sweet little Mackenzie! {Rob can play “Bad Daddy” with me any time!  Oh yeah, guess we’d have to play “Bad Mama” LMAO!!!  What can I say…Rob makes me FEEL young!}

Why, Jayme darlin’!  Thanks for includin’ me in your Rob encounter on the red carpet in Cannes! What? Oh, it’s not me {pouty face}, it’s your bestie SD? {Don’t have permission to use your name, SD, but you know who you are LOL!}

OMFG! Goin’ straight for the Promised Land, you pevy little hOOr?!?! {Yup! Jayme is definitely one of us LMAO! You go, girl!!!}

Damn, woman!  If that don’t get Rob’s attention, nothin’ will! {Not quite the strategy I was expectin’, but whatever works LOL!}

NipplePorn FTMFW!  I like where this is goin’, angel!!!

Smart girl!  Keep alternatin’ moves on him…his attention’s definitely on YOU!!!

Well, hell!  If SD gets a turn, I want one, too!!!

Holy Hell in a Handbasket, Jayme darlin’!  {Livin’ vicariously, livin’ vicariously, livin’ fuckin’ vicariously THUD!}{Ya’ll just hang on a minute while I go change mah drawers!}

LMAO! After all that, um…exercise, you and Rob both deserve to chillax with a nice, cold Coke! {In Texas, pop, or soda, is a Coke no matter what it is LOL!}

For those of you who are followin’ the Olympics, enjoy them with Rob and “ME!”

I’d like to thank the fabulous Bornonhalloween for suggestin’ this merry madness LOL!!!

If you aren’t readin’ her fic “Lather, Rinse, Repeat,” you’re missin’ a great story!

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7584064/1/Lather_Rinse_Repeat

Freshly graduated from Cosmetology School, Bella takes a job in a health club beauty salon called Mystique. First days on the job can be so boring…until that perfect head of hair walks in! All drabble, All human
Rated: Fiction  M – English – Romance/Drama –  Bella & Edward – Chapters: 281   – Words: 57,237 – Reviews: 13,022 – Favs: 805 – Follows: 1,210 – Updated: 07-28-12 – Published: 11-26-11 – id: 7584064

Happy Sunday, ya’ll!

Rita

41 Comments

Filed under Bel Ami, Breaking Dawn, Cosmopolis, Rob Pattinson, Sensual Sunday

Sensual Sunday ~ In Rob We Lust!

Good evening, ladies…well, its evening here LOL!

I’m a little late posting today but it was just too gorgeous to stay inside. I mighta got a pink nose to show for it *gigglesnort!*

Now as to the title of my post, we are all “in lust” with Rob in every way imaginable.  BUT, this is all about Sally, aka InRobWeLust!

Back in March, when I posted “Slave for Rob,” RDMickey1989 said I should check out Sally’s tumblr cause she was a brilliant photo enhancer/editor, right up there with the best of them!

Well, I did check her out and I have since collected quite a stash of RobPorn by the lovely Sally!

Gonna try not to get all wordy and shit and just show you my favorites, but don’t hold me to it LOL!  Just prepare to be dazzled…

Brilliant montage from the Premiere Magazine photoshoot 2012.

Premier of Breaking Dawn 1 in Paris 2011! Goatee and all, Rob’s an angel in this one!

BD1 Promo Tour Barcelona 2011…looks like he trimmed the scruff by then!

Sexy Hobo stalking the streets of Beverly Hills in 2009! Baby rocks the color blue, don’t he?

Graham Norton Show 2011 for the Water for Elephants Promo Tour! Rob was daft side out during most of that interview!

Oh, God! Remember how shocked we all were that he showed up at Comic Con 2011 with half his head shaved? Rob absolutely reveled in all the gasps and groans LMAO!!!

Chateau Marmont 2008.  Am I the only one missing the Rob & Tom Show?

On the set of Remember Me 2009. So many beautiful shots of Rob for that film *sigh!*

This one, still on the set of Remember Me, cracks me the fuck up every time I see it!

Hauntingly beautiful in Bel Ami…not long now til we get the DVD!!

The way Sally colored this Bel Ami still makes it look like a painting…I love that effect!

Sensually lighted still from Breaking Dawn 1.  Damn sexy vampire! DED!!!

Majorly hawt NeckPorn from the Cosmopolis Press Conference in Cannes!

Couldn’t resist sharing Sally’s wicked sense of humor…Cosmopolis Premier Berlin.

I’m up for another threesome! How ’bout you?  Cosmopolis Berlin Portraits.

Fuck me sideways!  Those eyes will be the death of me!  H00r down ~ THUD! {still in Berlin for Cosmopolis}

Just to remind us that Rob is a human being like the rest of us. Remember Me afterparty in London 2010. {Still rocks the color blue!}

Edward {Eclipse} is one smooth motherfucker!  GAH! EyelashPorn…JawPorn…LipPorn!

I think it’s safe to say that THIS edit of Rob’s ass from Bel Ami is the one that put Sally on the map as a master photo editor / enhancer! Can I get an “AMEN” sistas!!!

With that, we’ll paddle off into the sunset with Rob {Malibu April 2012}!

So, was it all you thought it’d be?

Happy Sunday, ya’ll!

Rita

60 Comments

Filed under Artistic Genius!, Bel Ami, Breaking Dawn, Breathless, Cannes, Cosmopolis, Edward A M Cullen, Georges DuRoy, Rob Pattinson, Sensual Sunday, Twilight, WFE

Sensual Sunday ~ The Birthday Hangover!

.

Good afternoon, ladies!

Well, after a whole week of partying with our friends to celebrate Rob’s 26th birthday, I didn’t know if I’d even have the energy to  get out of bed this morning!

Hell’n I wonder if Rob survived his own birthday bash! Let’s go find out, shall we?

Knock, knock!! {cracks open Rob’s bedroom door} *Shhhhhh!*

Zzzzzzzz…..

*Whispers* Awwww, he’s still asleep! Just look at him…precious angel! But, not for long…

ROB! Wake up! You got company!!

Zzz…wha…? Rita? What the fuck?

Open them pretty eyes, baby!

Damnit, woman! It’s the ass crack of dawn…what’re you doing here?

You’re in my time zone, darlin’, and it’s way past NOON! I just came by to see how you was feelin’!

Like Hell, if you must know…can’t I just go back to sleep?

Anythin’ I can do to make you feel better, angel? Breakfast in bed, maybe?

*Groan!* God, Rita! Don’t even mention food to me right now!

Well, come on down to the kitchen, then, and I’ll make you some coffee…how’s that sound?

Strong and black, if you don’t mind, thanks!

Sure thing, baby! Comin’ right up!

Owww, my head is killing me!

You want a couple aspirin for your headache, darlin’?

You got some? Yeah, that’d be great…you’re a star, Rita!

No problem, hon! You startin’ to feel a little bit better?

Umm, yeah, thanks.  Rita? I appreciate all your help, but I really need to get my ass in gear!

*Gigglesnort!* You goin’ out lookin’ like that?  What WILL the neighbors think? BWAHAHAHA!

Huh? Aw, hell, Rita!

Have a good day, Rob! Laters BB! MWAH!!!

*Pssst!* Ladies! Don’t tell Rita, but her coffee sucks ass! Had to find a Starbucks FAST!!

Happy Sunday, ya’ll!

Rita

10 Comments

Filed under Because he gives us a Reason to smile., Bel Ami, Remember Me, Rob Pattinson, Sensual Sunday

Rob’s Birthday Blog Train ~ Day 4: Birthday Memories!

Welcome back, ladies!!

RobsFan~tasy and I are continuing our week long journey with our blogger friends to wish Rob a happy 26th birthday!

It’s my turn again and today’s theme is: Birthday Memories! I’ll be showing Rob some of the things I love that he’s done since his last birthday!!

{You’ll notice I’m having a problem following a specific timeline…Rob keeps goosing me LOL!}

Needless to say, everything Rob’s done this past year was memorable and I loved it ALL, especially his personal appearances!  He found a way to shock and amaze us every damn time LOL!

Remember the MTV Movie Awards on June 5th, 2011?  His famous speech to Reese?

*Gigglesnort! Oh, Rob!*

When he showed up at ComicCon on July 21st with lopsided hair? OMG! We’d all seen the results of his botched Cosmopolis haircut, but nobody expected him to KEEP it…not that it detracted in any way from his inate Hawtness LMAO!!

*See what I mean?*

Last year Rob amazed everyone with his poignant performance in Water for Elephants and we ALL fell in love with Jacob Jankowski…

*THUD!* *DED!!* *HOOR DOWN!!!*

I love that film more each time I watch it *sigh!*

This year, Rob awed us with his portrayal of Georges DuRoy in Bel Ami…

*By George, Rob WAS Georges!*

Who could forget the greatly anticipated release of Breaking Dawn, Part 1, where Edward and Bella FINALLY got all groiny with each other, and we got OUR release LOL?!

Rob went into drought mode for a couple of months between promo tours and we were all bouncing on our seats to see what his transformation from Grizzly Adams Rob to Promo Tour Rob would look like… then THIS photo from Paris  appeared and Goatee Rob literally blew us away!!!

*Puddle of goo!*

Of all the promos, and there were too many to cover here, his interview on Jimmy Kimmel forBD1 was epic Rob!  My favorite Rob quotes were“I’m a butt double for like a lot of different actors!” and, “I want there to be mayhem!” But, the BEST one was “Yeah, they [the fans] want to see thrusting, not probing!” Hell’n I’m gonna have to watch the “thrusting” part of that interview again…

Now, I ask you…how did he know that’s what we wanted to see if he WASN’T reading our blogs?  ROTFLMFAO!!!

Well, Rob has much more in store for us before his next birthday, such as the premier of Cosmopolis at Cannes on May 25th!  {NEXT WEEK *squeeee!*} The teaser trailer that exploded onto the internet back in March was, for me, the most memorable thing Rob has done this past year!

Oops!  I guess I shoulda told you this post was NSFW!

Happy Birthday, Rob darlin’!

Next stop…

12 Months of Rob

Thanks for riding this year’s Rob Birthday Blog Train!

Friday is *Pic Spam* day!  RobsFan~tasy’s will remind you tomorrow and steer you to the One and Only blog where all the photos will be posted. It’s not here on RA, so please be sure and follow the link to Robmusement!

Happy Thursday, ya’ll!
Rita

17 Comments

Filed under Because he gives us a Reason to smile., Bel Ami, Breaking Dawn, Cosmopolis, Do It For ROB, Georges DuRoy, Remember Me, Rob Pattinson, Robert Pattinson Birthday Blog Train

Sensual Sunday ~ Happy Birthday, Rob!

.

Well, ladies!

I don’t think it’s escaped our attention that today is Rob’s 26th birthday!

Wouldn’t it be fun to wish him a wonderful birthday in the languages related to his films, the countries he’s visited during his promotional tours and, of course, his many fans?

Our sweet Cared from Ireland says…

Breithlá shona duit, Roibeárd!

That man seriously needs to get his butt to Ireland so she can fangirl all over his gorgeous ass!

Wszystkiego najlepszego z okazji urodzin

Rob spoke Polish to Tai/Rosie in Water for Elephants, so I hope Google translated this correctly.  It’s supposed to be “All the Best on Your Birthday” LOL!

Buon compleanno

As much as Melbie loves Rome Rob, we have to say Happy Birthday in Italian, right? {buono means good, not happy but it’s the way they say it}

Tanjoubi omedetou! 誕生日おめでとう。

Awww, Rob was only 19 at the Goblet of Fire Tokyo press conference in 2005.  What a cute puppy!

Joyeux anniversaire!

{Mydenofsin is French…this one’s for you BB!}  New Moon premier in Paris, Novemer 2009.  A little more mature at 23, don’t you think?

Grattis på födelsedagen!

Photocall in Stockholm, October 2011 for Breaking Dawn, Part 1! {Rob’s Swedish fans were VERY enthusiastic that he came to their city LOL!}

Feliz Cumpleaños!

Little Ashes took place in Spain and I absolutely ADORE this photo of Rob as Dali.  {Knowing Exaltada, I’ll bet she’d like to add: “Besos y abrazos de Exaltada!” -> Hugs and kisses from Exaltada!  Me too, darlin’!  Preferably in person LOL!}

Boldog szuletesnapot!

Yes, I know Bel Ami takes place in Paris, BUT it was filmed in Budapest, Hungary! {Love the top hat…LOVE that smile!}

Feliz aniversário!

BWAHAHAHA!  Suuure, I was gonna forget the BEST Rob photo to come out of filming Breaking Dawn in Brazil!

eid mīlad sa’aīd عيد ميلاد سعيد

The official language of Iraq is Modern Arabic, although there are many other dialects.  This is in honor of Rob’s new project!

Gelukkige verjaardag!

Last, but not least, cause I’m American, but live in Holland…Happy Birthday in Dutch and English!

Hope I didn’t forget anyone’s native language…didn’t mean to!

Happy Sunday, ya’ll!

Rita

30 Comments

Filed under Bel Ami, Breaking Dawn, Little Ashes, New Moon, Rob Pattinson, Sensual Sunday, WFE

Sensual Sunday ~ Rob’s Happy Tail!!

Sorry, ladies!

Got a little sidetracked on my way to Barcelona, so…next week, I promise! And, before you ask…NO! That’s not a misspelling of Happy Trail LOL!  I actually do mean Happy Tail!

Aw, come on! You know what I mean, right?

Here, lemme just explain how this photo on tumblr froze me in my tracks…

Edward about to walk into the light in New Moon!

Beautiful, isn’t it? One of a million gorgeous photos of Rob, right? So, what caught my eye?  That darlin’ little tail of hair on the back of his neck!  GAH!

Rob as Tyler in Remember Me

Women can’t keep their hands off of it…I know I want MY fingers locked.right.THERE! BTW, you’re gonna want to click this one cause it’s HUGE!

Edward in Breaking Dawn Part 1

See what I mean?

Remember Me {not likely to forget LOL!}

When that little lock of hair comes with BackPorn, it’s ALL GOOD! *THUD!*

Theo Wenner photoshoot

You can even see it when Rob is photographed in profile…well, if his hair is long enough, of course!

Rob at Collectormania 2006

Like in this one! Well, it might not be THE little pluck, but when Rob’s hair is long enough to curl around his neck, it gets to me BIG TIME!

Melbrooks Book Signing 2008

When it gets TOO long, we get to drool at the swept back hair exposing his elegant neck, but that little curl is still there!

LAX October 21, 2011

Damned airport paps KNOW what I like!

LAX March 8, 2012

No matter how short Rob cuts his hair, that little pluck is just waiting to come out and play!!!

Don't know when or where...stole it from Melbie's tumblr!

Now THAT‘s what I’m waiting to see again! Oh, WHEN, Rob????

MTV Movie Awards June 5, 2011

With any luck, that little lock of hair should be at least this long, by now! We’ll see when he gets to Cannes, unless the reported photoshoot is issued first *FIST PUMP!*

Inglorious Bastards premier at Cannes 2009

Not such a visible neck curl at Rob’s last appearance at Cannes, but I don’t think we minded, now did we? *le sigh!*

Rob as Eric Packer in Cosmopolis

In the meantime, we’ll just have to make do with the shorty in Cosmopolis, and…

Bel Ami

the longer neck curl in Bel Ami.  HEY! The Happy Tail…not the ass crack LMAO!!!

Happy Sunday, ya’ll!

Rita

14 Comments

Filed under Bel Ami, Breaking Dawn, Cosmopolis, Edward A M Cullen, Freakin Paps Pffft!, New Moon, Remember Me, Rob Pattinson, Sensual Sunday, Tybert

Sensual Sunday ~ Show Me Something I Don’t Know!!!

NSFW!!!

Holy shit, angelz!

No way you haven’t all seen it by now, but Rob doubters be DAMNED! That Cosmopolis teaser trailer was the best 34 seconds EVER and I can’t stop watching it!

Oh yeah, baby! It’s coming and it’s gonna be EPIC!!

You won’t be surprised to learn that tumblr went absolutely WILD with screencaps, gifs, banners and edits!  Even I couldn’t resist the urge to do a little editing of my own, although I have no idea how to tag it…oh well!

Ah, Geez! Rob's sweat soaked, lickable happy trail *THUD!*

That first sequence was very popular for gifmakers…

I think I’d like to see that in slow motion, wouldn’t you? {if the gifs aren’t moving, click ’em!}

Hell’n I literally jumped a foot off my chair when he shot his hand! How the F*CK did they do that?? {gif}

Didn’t you think AudioMachine’s “10 Inch Nails” from their Deus Ex Machina album was the perfect music for that trailer? Especially for the nightclub scene, which was beautifully shot…{gif}

Kill me now…Rob going all predatory on us in the limo? *THUD!*{gif}

And MelbieToast made us a beautiful edit…

This might seem like overkill to you, but I just gotta include another gorgeous edit…a close-up!  I could swear it’s a SlaveForRob (Bru) edit, but it’s not tagged…

Wild limo sex anybody? Hell yeah!  {Why didn’t they hire ME to do that scene *sob!*}

That just BEGS to be gif’d…{gif}

Rob’s alley strut just cracks me the f*ck up!  InRobWeLust wants to know which of Rob’s movies we are most looking forward to…Bel Ami or Cosmopolis?  BOTH, BB!!!!! {gif}

Cronenberg is gonna shock us all with Cosmopolis!  Nothing is taboo and that’s as refreshing as pissing in an expensive limo LMAO!!!

Sparkybitchface entered the tumblr fray with this contribution…{gif}

LMAO!!!

So much action was packed into 34 seconds of RobHeaven that, had it not been for the screenshots, I never would have seen this…doesn’t it look just like a painting?  Simply stunning!

And, as if all that wasn’t enough, WE HAVE ASS CRACK!!!  Yes, it’s from an Italian trailer for Bel Ami so it doesn’t exactly fit this post, but I couldn’t NOT share this gorgeous edit by InRobWeLust!

And whoever made this gif should be given sainthood LMAO!!

Now, I know this has nothing to do with Rob, but were you even aware that Stephenie Meyer’s book, The Host, was being made into a movie?

Science fiction being one of my favorite genres, I enjoyed the hell out of that story! And, if this trailer is any indication, it might just be worth checking out when it hits the theaters next year!!

Happy Sunday, ya’ll!

Rita

37 Comments

Filed under Bel Ami, Cosmopolis, Freaking Out, Rob Pattinson, Sensual Sunday

Wandering…Lips, BD style!

I promised you guys a couple of weeks back some Wandering Breaking Dawn lips. And what a better week to do it than now when so many of you are getting your own copies of the DVD!! (Sorry Germany, but the 29th will be here before you know it!) So grab your shamanties, get your lips ready and have a cold drink nearby….we’re going in!!!

Let’s start with this handsome guy jumping into your bedroom window the night before the wedding.

Next we have the longest, most inappropriate wedding kiss ever. But who could blame the girl? I wouldn’t want to stop kissing him either!

Holy HALE!!! If this is just the wedding I don’t know if I’ll survive the honeymoon!!! Those luscious lips…GAH.

Our next stop is Lapa. Instead of dancing in the streets, I think kissing is much better!

Who’s ready for a swim? Don’t take too long, ladies!

*Wet & Wild baby!* UNF!

I think we’re all um, prepared for the Honeymoon now. Don’t you agree? Hope you all make it 😉

I think we need a little bit of a cool down to help us acclimate to the real world.

  

Oh sorry! I said a cool down, didn’t I? Well how about a really sad but romantic kiss. Don’t worry, I’ll  follow up with something steamy!

No words

And a special treat for you…Breaking Dawn 2 kissing!

I almost think this is better than watching the movie. All our favorite parts are right here! Okay, maybe not. But these are pretty darn inspiring!

WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM WITH A NEWS FLASH!

BEL AMI HAS A US RELEASE DATE! Mark your calendars, ladies. June 8th 2012. Let’s just hope this is the same for our Canadian sisters as well!

I'm ready to curl up with this!

robsfuturemate

Thank you MidNight Cougar and tumblr for all the steamy gifs!!

27 Comments

Filed under Bel Ami, Breaking Dawn, Edward A M Cullen, oh lalala, RA News, Rob Pattinson, Shamwow anyone?, Wandering

Wandering…Around the World News

That’s right folks! We have news from around the world today! I thought for sure we would be having a bit of a drought but it seems that Rob had another idea in mind, little Rob snippets to help us get through the week. Thanks hun, we do appreciate it 🙂

Our journey this week starts off in New York City. Rob left LA and was spotted in NYC doing a little shopping.

That's right baby, we're looking at YOU!

Did you know it was cheaper to go shopping there compared to LA? Well, that’s the story that’s going around. Rob was also spotted in New York with Dean.

It's okay Dean. They're keeping their distance.

And whenever I see Dean, or bodyguards in general, I think there must be some work to be done! The rumor for this one is a Cosmopolis photo shoot. That would be frickin awesome!!! But we need to take it with a grain of salt because there has been NO confirmation.  😦

Tell us what you're up to, baby.

Whatever Rob was up to in New York didn’t last very long. The next day he was on his way to Paris. And has been spotted at various fashion type things. And we all know how much Rob loves fashion!

But at least he looks like he’s enjoying himself!

How drunk are you, Rob? hehe

But the most newsworthy thing I heard that came from Paris was this. Rob met with Paul McCartney and is rumored to be in talks with him on a new film project. An ANIMATED film project. In which Rob would play Wirral the Squirrel.

Yes, Paul McCartney wrote this children’s book and is in works to make an animated film.

I don’t know why, but I really want this one to be true!!! Maybe it’s because I’m a teacher and love to read (so adding this to my collection). Or maybe because it’s a G rated cartoon I can watch while at work. And my niece and nephews can finally watch their Uncle Rob Robert Pattinson on the big screen.  I don’t know, but I’m a little giddy just thinking about it! It will probably come out in theaters before I ever see this movie:

Yep, that’s a new clip of Bel Ami. VERY newsworthy!! And it looks like a few more countries have release dates now. So yeah for you!! Sorry, US residents, still no official release for us yet. I really want someone to make a vid with all the clips in order so that it will feel like I’m seeing the movie.

Here’s to hoping there will be more info to come!

robsfuturemate

What are you looking forward to? Any Rob news that made you feel like a giddy schoolgirl? And who gets to see Bel Ami in the theaters? *sigh*

Thanks to robsessed  and  tumblr (my new addiction) for the pics.

14 Comments

Filed under Bel Ami, RA News, Rob Pattinson