Category Archives: Cosmopolis

Rob Roles

*A Selection of Rob's Roles*

*A Selection of Rob’s Roles*

Let’s roll on through the Summer with Rob Roles.  We are usually all about Edward here on FanFiction Fridays, but this week he has been joined by a few other fascinating characters who we have been kindly introduced to by Rob.  A big, warm welcome to Cedric, Tyler, Art, Eric and Jacob as they make their FFF debut.

Welcome wishes and thanks go to the gorgeous and talented Planetblue for joining us today – it’s a pleasure and honour to have you here.

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*Reviews by Cared*

CEDRIC

Finding Himself by Minisinoo

findinghimself

Finding Himself ~ The-Boy-Who-Almost-Died has to figure out what it means that he didn’t. Harry’s tumultuous 5th year at Hogwarts is Cedric’s 7th and final. Bound together by shared trauma, both boys fall under Ministry suspicion … Who is Cedric Diggory? Cedric!Lives AU

Rated: Fiction M – English – Suspense/Romance – Cedric D. & Hermione G. – Chapters: 40 – Words: 350,952 – Reviews: 665 – Favs: 1,022 – Follows: 184 – Updated: 11-19-08 – Published: 10-13-08 – Status: Complete – id: 4594634

I’m so excited to share my love of this story with you today…it’s one of my all-time top 5 favourite fics.  Needless to say, the other 4 places are taken by beloved Twilight stories, you know, I even surprised myself by ranking another fic genre so highly.  Now that I think about it, I know why this magnificent novel, yes, novel, for that’s what it is, earned that coveted position.  I was stunned when I first read this story a few years ago, and the feelings invoked by it have not faded from my memory.  I’ve got to be honest here and confess to you, while I read and enjoyed all the Harry Potter books and saw all the films, it was the lure of Cedric that initially drew me to Finding Himself.  Don’t judge me – you cannot deny he was gorgeous in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. LOL

CED

There are many reasons why Finding Himself is one of my favourites, but what stands head and shoulders above the others is the brilliant presentation of the absolutely beautiful love story depicted between Cedric and Hermione. Honestly, it rivals that of Edward and Bella, and in fact, in some ways it’s a lot healthier.  The romance is sweet, can be fun, and as they fall deeply in-love they remain their own people.  I admire the way they grow as individuals as they overcome their problems, and how their friendship with others is also enriched as their relationship develops.  The lemons in this fic are lovely, loving and imperative…as they say, it’s always the quiet ones!  “The Room of Requirement” comes in pretty handy, js.  Maybe I’m wearing rose lemon tinted glasses here because I’m so behind their relationship and truthfully, I’m in love with their love story.  Have a look at their first kiss…

He leaned back in and she really wished he’d just kiss her. She could feel his breath on her lips as he said, “Not in the least. Why do you think I asked you to Hogsmeade? Maybe they’ll leave me alone when they see I’m already very, very…very…taken.”

And she felt his mouth brush hers, faint as butterfly wings. It almost wasn’t a kiss, but it shook her from the roots of her hair to the ends of her toes. Then he was pulling away yet again. “Don’t do that,” she said, reaching out to grip the back of his neck and yank his head down forcefully. This time, there was no almost touch. His mouth hit hers hard; he’d nearly overbalanced and had to recover himself. Then she forgot about books and lockets and nicknames, and everything, really. Cedric Diggory knew how to give a kiss, all lips, a little tongue and complete immersion in the moment. It was very different from kissing Viktor. (And maybe she shouldn’t compare them, but couldn’t help it.)

Viktor had kissed like a Seeker, and she was the Snitch – elusive, precious, delicate . . . but his goal. His passion had overwhelmed, even if she’d never felt pressured to give him more than kisses. She’d felt flattered, swept off her feet, but not quite his equal, really.

Cedric kissed like it was a conversation – give and take, exploratory, sensual, even a bit sloppy because he wasn’t thinking of how it looked, only how it felt. He tried things that might have made her laugh – like sucking her tongue or nibbling her lower lip – but which turned her inside out instead. Cedric kissed like somebody who wanted to be kissed back.

If you are familiar with the Harry Potter series you will recognise Finding Himself as an AU rewrite of the Order of the Phoenix with a different focus and new storylines perfectly interwoven with the original.  In this world, Cedric didn’t die in the graveyard – he was hit by a dreadful debilitating curse that will eventually leave him paralysed.  18 year-old Cedric and the 16 year-old Harry have formed an unlikely friendship as they are forever bound by their shared nightmare encounter with *lowers voice* he who shall not be named.  The usual shenanigans still go on at the Ministry though, and the vile Professor Umbridge, in all her pink-suited glory, is still a sicko – this time Cedric is top of her most-wanted list.  Dumbeldore’s Army is still formed, as is S.P.E.W. – you couldn’t leave out that unfortunately named society.  The history and the ethos of the House of Hufflepuff is shown and it becomes obvious why it’s a House to be proud of…why it’s the House of a Hogwart’s Champion.

ROB:CEDRIC DANCING

If you are not at all familiar with the world of Harry Potter, never mind, you don’t need to be.  Simply enjoy it as a story of “coming of age” set against the backdrop of a tumultuous time in the world, a time of parallel crises for both Muggles* and wizards.  A classic love story of two young people who hail from completely different backgrounds.  It’s about friendships and family bonds, and standing up for who and what you believe in.  It’s the tale of a noble young man hit by personal tragedy, falling in-love for the first time, being challenged to do the right thing…it’s the story of a young man Finding Himself.

*non-magical people

Story trailer video by Handmaiden Ande

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4594634/1/FINDING-HIMSELF

Sequel can be found here, and one-shots here and here.

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Infinite Visibility by TheFicChick

 TYLER IN LIBRARY 

Infinite Visibility ~ “Bella, I’m not perfect.” “I’ve loved perfect before, and he broke me anyway.” (A “Twilight”/”Remember Me” crossover.)

Rated: Fiction M – English – Drama – Chapters: 8 – Words: 45,297 – Reviews: 590 – Favs: 330 – Follows: 455 – Updated: 07-07-13 – Published: 04-13-13 – id: 9198986

Infinite Visibility

We’ll let blood build a bridge over mountains draped in stars

I’ll meet you on the ridge between these worlds apart

We’ve got this moment now to live, then it’s all just dust and dark

Let’s let love give what it gives.”

TheFicChick says, “I play around with timelines a little bit here. In this story, the events of ‘Twilight’ and ‘New Moon’ take place in 1999, not in the 2000s, which is how that universe intersects with the ‘Remember Me’ universe.” Well, I say the universes of Twilight and Remember Me do more than intersect, they blend seamlessly together and they become a perfect whole.  Infinite Visibility is a wonderful and believable love story between Tyler and Bella set against the perfect mesh of canon from both original stories – my hat is off to TheFicChick and her way with words for achieving this so masterfully.

Edward pulled his New Moon disappearing trick and eventually Bella moved on with her life, as per his request.  She matured and developed into a lovely young woman and her desire for a complete change, a concrete jungle, led her to New York to attend college.  Edward has not been forgotten – her scars run much deeper than the physical one James inflicted in Twilight – but, with time and new experiences comes the epiphany that Edward was right…

That night is the first night since September that she dreams of Edward, the ethereal, self-proclaimed demon standing against a dreary backdrop, orchestrating his own isolation.

This is the last time you’ll ever see me. I won’t come back.

It’s the first night that she dreams the dream through and doesn’t wake up screaming.

It will be like I never existed. I promise.

It’s the first time in all the times she’s had the dream that she’s still standing when he walks away.

You just don’t belong in my world, Bella.

It isn’t until she’s bumping along in a cab headed for JFK the following morning that the realization comes: he no longer belongs in hers, either.

One thing about Bella that has not changed, however, is her love for the written word, and so she is enticed to the Strand Bookstore by its claim to have eighteen miles of books, only to receive the shock of her life when she asks…

“Excuse me; do you have Virgil’s Doomed Love?”

The boy turns to face her, and she sucks in a breath. At first glance, he’s too similar, too close a replica, too familiar, and all of the contentment that had cocooned her like cotton is torn away, leaving her feeling as though she’s been stripped and sucker-punched. She stares at him for a moment, mouth agape, before spinning and dashing up the long aisle, hearing a faint “What the hell?” coming from the boy behind her as she flees. Darting around the tables near the entrance and nearly tripping over a stroller near the checkout counter, she finally bursts through the exit and onto the crowded sidewalk.

“Watch it,” a guy with a steaming paper cup of coffee mutters as he sidesteps her, and she mutters an apology as she takes in gulping breaths, clutching one of the carts of discounted books with her bare hand, the ice-cold metal burning the skin of her palm. She lets the dull ache in her hand ground her as she navigates a sea of sensation: she feels unsettled, blindsided, as if she’s seen a ghost. It’s impossible. Patently impossible, because while the moment that she’d stared into the stranger’s face was fleeting, it was long enough for her to absorb details: the all-too-human flush of his cheeks, the blue-green of his eyes. Just a likeness, she tells herself as her breathing and her heartbeat try to regulate themselves. That’s all.

“Hey.” The voice floats over her shoulder, and her still-stuttering heart picks up the tempo, now positively hammering against her ribs as if fighting for its freedom. “Are you okay?” the look-alike asks, and she turns, half-convinced that her momentary vision had been a trick of dim lighting. Those blue-green eyes narrow, a heavy brow creased in concern.

Blue-green eyes, she wills herself to remember. Not gold. It is this detail she latches onto as she nods, but the boy is still frowning. “Are you sure? Because you kind of look like hell.”

A bark of surprised laughter escapes her lips as she stares at his face, and if she needed further assurance that the person before her was far removed from his vampire doppelganger, those rather blunt words were it.

The Edward look-a-like…who eventually persuades her to meet him for coffee… is none other than the utterly charming Tyler Hawkins.  This imperfect human is one of the good guys, he has a sensitive soul and even with a lot of baggage – or maybe because of it, he is perfect for Bella.  Their understanding of the other’s pain and the tender emotional connection they develop is lovely to witness.  To quote Kelsey, Bella’s roommate, “Every great love affair starts with something as innocuous as coffee,” and you know what – I think she is right.

This enchanting and sensuous story is creeping slowing towards September and I’m reminded of the powerful prologue (in an unknown POV), which causes me to pose as yet unanswered questions.

Stepping toward the nearest of the two square pools, I can feel the faintest spray on my face, very nearly unnoticeable. Closing my eyes, I let my hipbones rest against the bronze parapet, breathe in the faintly damp air. When I open them, a barely-there rainbow appears in the mist cast off by the falling water. The sky is a perfect, robin’s egg blue, its brilliance reflected in the gleaming new architecture bordering this now-open space. Mirrored glass reflecting light, reflecting perfect blue skies, reflecting billowing white clouds and bright spring sunshine. Perfect tranquility where there was once chaotic devastation.

I squint as I stare upward, the parapet unforgiving against my bony hips, and to either side of me, people reach out and touch engraved names with single fingertips and entire palms. I don’t touch the name etched in front of me; instead, I bring my palm up to my sternum and press it flat against the space where my heart beats steadily in my chest beneath wool coat and fleece top and cotton bra before sliding it down and beneath my arm, above xylophone ribs and inked skin. My face still tipped toward the sky, I close my eyes and remember. A perfect blue canvas marred by twin curls of acrid smoke, then a billowing cloud of dust, the everyday sounds of the city yielding to the roar of destruction and pealing screams of terror.

As I stand blind, hand registering only the faintest echo of my own heartbeat, I do what I’ve made it my life’s mission not to do: I look back.

I remember.

I don’t mean to sound cryptic; I genuinely have no idea how this story will end and TBH, I’m a little afraid that there may be heartbreak ahead – for me, as well as the characters.  Regardless, I’ve been captivated by this love story and nothing is going to stop me reading.  Don’t let it stop you either.

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http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9198986/1/Infinite-Visibility

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ART

How To Be More by deb24601

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How To Be More ~ Art, from How to Be, toils at the grocer’s, missing his ex-girlfriend, Jessica. He’s amazed when she shows up and determined to be the ‘more’ she’s asking for. Entry in Robnipulations You Fic it We Nip it Contest. One-shot.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Humor – Words: 5,393 – Reviews: 12 – Favs: 18 – Follows: 6 – Published: 07-12-10 – Status: Complete – id: 6134646

The story starts gently with Art at work a supermarket. Please note – I am not fantasising over Art’s delectable derriere delightfully protruding up in the air as he leans over to stick his head in the freezer.

head

*clears throat* As I was saying – this is how the fic opens…

Another day at the mind-numbing, soul-sucking grocer’s. Doing a job a monkey could do. Stocking shelves, pricing merchandise, and trying to avoid thinking… about Jessica. She’d dumped me, kicking me out of her apartment in the process. My parents aren’t terribly happy to have me home again. My music isn’t going well either and my mates are always frustrated with me.

Apparently I’m not much fun to be around.

Oh, Art!  If you’ve had the pleasure of seeing the film How to Be, you are probably nodding your head in agreement and smiling in recognition, as this is so typical of adorkable Art’s behaviour; deb24601 captures him perfectly in all his lovable quirkiness.  The How to Be film tagline ‘sometimes we all need a little help’ must have struck a chord with the lovely deb24601, as she, in a stroke of genius, uses Jessica (the ex-girlfriend – not to be confused with Twi Jessica of the IKR fame) as a conduit to do just that.  She presents him with a challenge, boosts his self-esteem, and then she sits lies back and reaps the reward. Lucky lady (Jessica not Deb) as Art rises magnificently to the occasion IYKWIM!

This hilarious one-shot has pervy old dears, and a hard, frozen penis, but even that’s not enough to stop this Art from being hot!  Now, there is a sentence I never thought I’d write. This Art is definitely more!

*reaches for frozen penis err…fan*

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6134646/1/How_To_Be_More

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ERIC

Imprudence and Gratification by Hank’s Lady

Imprudence and Gratification ~ Eric Packer, billionaire financier, is expecting his physician to give him his daily medical exam. Amusement and naughtiness ensues when Dr Black sends his son Jacob to undertake the exam instead. Slash one-shot.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Humor/Romance – Jacob & Eric P. – Words: 3,248 – Reviews: 13 – Favs: 9 – Follows: 4 – Published: 02-05-13 – Status: Complete – id: 8980853

While sitting in a darkened cinema munching on popcorn as I watched Cosmopolis for the first time, there was one question at the forefront of my mind.  No!  It wasn’t: Did Rob really pee in the limo?  Although… *snickers*

2-pissing-in-limo-2-Copy

The burning question at the forefront of my admittedly, somewhat perverted mind was: How did Eric really feel about his daily rectal examination? …But then that made me wonder: Did he gain more than the satisfaction and relief of knowing his prostrate was normal?

In this hot Cosmopolis/Twilight crossover light-hearted one-shot, the young, gay, newly qualified, Dr. Jacob Black climbs in to the limo to perform the personal procedure as it slowly makes its way across town.

Clearing my throat slightly, I lowered his shorts to uncover firm buttocks, snapped on the gloves quickly and applied lube to the fingers of my right hand. My cock twitched slightly and I grimaced, trying to remember I was a professional and the sexy naked ass in front of me was part of my job.

Raising my left hand, I tentatively spread his buttocks to reveal the tight puckered hole, noting the area leading towards his scrotum was hairless and smooth as if he had carefully shaved it – or paid someone to do it for him. I circled his hole with a lubed finger and noticed him stiffen slightly, thighs tensing.

“Breathe out and relax, Sir, I’ll try to make this as painless as possible,” I said quietly.

‘And as pleasurable as I can manage.’ I squashed the amusing thought and reminded myself again that I was a doctor.

Mmm!  Who can resist a doctor with such a good beside manner? *cough cough*
r eric

If you want to discover how Hank’s Lady’s luscious vision of Eric feels about his err…close encounter with Jacob, hop in the back of the limo to take the ride too – it has blackened out glass, js.
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http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8980853/1/Imprudence-and-Gratification

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JACOB

Water for Elephants Oneshot by that kiwi chick

Water for Elephants Oneshot ~ “Water for the elephant, or alcohol?” Jacob asked with a smirk, balancing the bottle in one hand and the water bucket in the other. Rosie did her elephant smile and pointed at the alcohol with her long trunk” Jacob/Marlena, Walter their son & Rosie fluff!

Rated: Fiction K+ – English – Family/Friendship – Jacob & Marlena – Words: 1,182 – Reviews: 12 – Favs: 26 – Follows: 3 – Published: 05-24-11 – Status: Complete – id: 7017584

Have you ever watched that few seconds of home video at the end of the Water for Elephants film and thought Jacob holding Walter was the cutest thing ever?  I know I have.  This sweet and fluffy one-shot showcases a few precious minutes of everyday life for the Jankowski family; it’s just how I imagined it to be.  *Happy sigh!*

“Whoa this is so high!” The small child cried, clapping his hands together and wriggling around on top of the massive animal he was sitting on. “Good girl, Rosie.” He praised, patting her wrinkled grey shoulder.

Marlena smiled and snuggled closer into her husband’s side, feeling the weight of his chin on top of her head and his breath in her hair. He ran his hands down her side, letting them come to rest on her swollen belly. She placed her smaller hand atop his and smiled at the look of awe on his face when the baby kicked at his hand.

Queenie ran in circles around Rosie’s sitting form, trying to grab the attention she wasn’t getting. Jacob and Marlena were too wrapped up in each other and Walter was still babbling on to the huge elephant and hugging her neck.

“Come here, Queenie.” Jacob commanded, chuckling at the sparkle in the old dog’s eye as she leapt into his waiting arms. Her little stub of a tail wiggled back and forth and she nuzzled into her owner’s neck and snuggled into his arms.

*Made by twvezonika*

*Made by twvezonika*

that kiwi chick has captured the warm and fun-loving characters of Jacob, Marlena, and Rosie perfectly.  While it’s lovely to see the obvious deep emotions between all the humans and animals, it’s our beloved Rosie and her antics who steals the scene.  This one-shot is very short at 1,182 words, but that is all it took for that kiwi chick to put a smile upon my face.

JACOBX2 2

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7017584/1/Water-for-Elephants-Oneshot

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Last, but definitely not least, is our beloved Edward, after all…

that’s why we are here.

edward

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*Review by Planetblue*

One Night Stand in Locked Down London by BlueIsSoul

*Made by Shahula*

*Made by Shahula*

One Night Stand in Locked Down LondonA disinterested, paranoid girl. A wealthy journalist with only one thing on his mind. Too much alcohol. A serial killer on the loose. Here’s the problem with a one-night stand in locked-down London.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Humor/Romance – Chapters: 4 – Words: 15,126 – Reviews: 215 – Favs: 328 – Follows: 669 – Updated: 06-15-13 – Published: 05-13-13 – id: 9290753

When BlueIsSoul asked me to pre-read her new story, she directed me towards an article that acted as the inspiration and appeared on Esquire.com. The piece basically centers on a guy who had the misfortune of finding himself after a one night stand unable to sneak out of the other party’s apartment during the terrifying lock down the recent bombing at the marathon caused. While the story surrounding the event is of course a tragedy, the article showed the odder side of what Boston inhabitants were going through while unable to leave wherever they had found themselves.

This got BlueIsSoul thinking. What if a British, cocky bloke of a fellow got stuck with a girl he thinks might be just this side of crazy, and caught in a similar situation? In this case, it’s an escaped serial killer that’s on the loose and wreaking havoc for the citizens of London, who are out and about, unaware they are about to be trapped.

We’ve read of the player Edward, and the arrogant Edward, but this Edward is in a class all his own. There are rules he feels men should follow, and he’s the best of the best.  He’s completely unaffected by the situation surrounding him and in fact, out drinking with his buddy Emmett when he finds himself in a bit of a predicament.

Edward’s problem is the girl that Emmett’s hook up has left him with; a Bella so paranoid about everything, she’s consumed with the thought that the serial killer is lurking behind every corner, ready to strike.

“Charlie – my dad – tried to take me to the doctor, because he thought it could be a real issue or something. I don’t go though. I mean, I’ll be labeled, and that’s when things become concrete. It’s almost like then I’ll really have something, you know what I mean?”

“Like a diagnosis?”

“Yeah.”

“…of paranoia?”

She nods. “Yeah.”

I take a sip from my pint. What do you say to someone who’s kind of admitted they choose not to go the doctor because they think they might possibly be crazy?

Nothing.

So I say just that.

Nothing.

“Then I fixate… on things, people,” she says conversationally, “men mainly.”

Err…

My psycho-chick-homing-device explodes.

BOOOM!

There are alarms blaring and shit.

Get set, Edward. Go.

Run for your life.

I wipe my forehead with my palm. I’m a little sweaty. All of a sudden I think I’m finding it difficult to breathe.

I’m still here though.

He knows he should leave. He knows he should wipe his hands of her and follow Rule #3, the most important of his rules: You shall make sure that she is relatively sane before you take old one eye to the optometrist.

What ensues is some of the most fun, effortless banter I’ve read in a long time. An Edward who is strangely fascinated by a girl who seems so uninterested in him she’s quite disdainful towards the bugger, who she assumes the worst of based on very few facts and appearance alone.

Edward’s fascination grows as the banter turns more…sexual in nature, as Bella and Edward continue to drink long after their friends have left.

“Tell me,” she commands, like it’s her privileged right to know these things.

“It’s something I’ve always thought was real hot you know, kinda like–”

Come on Edward, fucking enlighten me before I fall into a coma. Stop with the pathetic, pussiness.

I catch a hint of a smile before it turns into her usual someone-just-killed-my-cat expression.

She’s teasing now.

“I like a girl with a potty mouth. Keep it coming angel.”

“Dick.”

“What about it?” I’m so wity.

After some great back and forth I’ll leave for you to discover, and making her work for it, Edward finally admits to the good stuff.

Edward!”

I shake myself out the pep talk and gaze into her unsteady eyes.

“Okay. Um, so let’s say there are a lot of people who are there, but they don’t necessarily have to you know, participate.”

I watch her reaction, amused. Her eyes are now large saucers. “What do you mean?” It’s a whisper.

“Being watched when having sex.” My voice is gritty. “Rough, hard sex. There’s something illicit, something sexy about it. It turns me on.”

“Oh.”

Bella, being Bella, doesn’t give in too easy, but Edward is persistent. The first chapter gives you a glimpse of what kind of a night he’s got in store for him (and a taste of the odd fantasy Bella has) when he pursues the one night stand against his better judgment. You, like me, will be enthralled with the journey and dying for the city to lock down already.

BlueIsSoul’s writing is snappy, fresh, and purposeful. Being from London allows for the fun British tinge she’s given this story, something I’m particularly enjoying. It surrounds everything, and places you directly on that side of the pond. You can practically feel the warm pint on your tongue and smell the fish and chips on the table as Edward and Bella get ready to have a night neither will be able to forget (or leave, as the title suggests).

Even though it’s only going to be a few chapters in length, it promises to pack a punch.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9290753/4/One-Night-Stand-in-Locked-Down-London

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*Made by Betti Gefecht*

*Made by Betti Gefecht*

Pull your big-girl-knickers out of the drawer ladies, and put them on!

The Lemonade Stand are hosting a one-shot Angst Contest and are accepting entries until July 30th.

Click here for the details: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/4769441/

Follow them on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TLSAngstContest

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So, what’s been getting you all hot and bothered this week?  

There is a gentle rock in the hammock with wet Rob for everyone who shares!

TheFicSix

35 Comments

Filed under Because he gives us a Reason to smile., Bel Ami, Breaking Dawn, Cosmopolis, Edward A M Cullen, Fan Fiction Friday, Fan Fiction Friday Guest Review, Fan Fiction Recs, FFF Library, FFF Posts, Georges DuRoy, How to Be, Little Ashes, New Moon, Remember Me, Rob Pattinson, Robert Pattinson, The Rover, Twilight, WFE, Writing

Sensual Sunday ~ Dreaming of Rob!

Wet Rob Avi

Ah, dear ladies!

Today, I’m proud to feature a new photo editor/enhancer I discovered on tumblr!

Nere Cullen~DreamingOfRob caught my beady little eye and it’s been a real treat watchin’ her try out new and different techniques on Rob!

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Truer words were never spoken! Nere’s streaky blue background highlights Rob beautifully!

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I know you all recognize this from a photoshoot for Remember Me, but how cool has Nere made the background? Love that effect!

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And, if anyone was ever in doubt about where Rob comes from, she makes it very clear with this edit of Rob and the Union Jack!

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Her color / texture play makes this pic pop! Especially the violet colored eyes!

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My favorite of her banner attempts!

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I don’t know how difficult it is to make everyone in the background b/w, but it’s a great look!

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Cool color play on this pic of Rob as Jacob Jankowski!

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Love this near sepia but not entirely sepia effect!  {Those jewel-like eyes! Those sweet sweet lips! *THUD!*}

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Seems shadow shots are fairly popular nowadays…not that I’m complainin’ LOL!

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Nor would I EVER turn down multiple Robgasms!!!

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Cause who doesn’t love gettin’ more Rob for your buck?

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True dat!!!

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Most recently, our girl has been turnin’ out the cutest Rob film posters! Ah, Cedric!

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Daniel Gale! Sweetest nerd in the world…one of my favorite Rob characters!

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Art..what can I say about Art?!?!  Rob made us believe in him in the end LOL!

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We will never forget Tyler Hawkins…

WATER FOR ELEPHANTS

or Jacob Jankowski…

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Eric Packer…

THE TWILIGHT SAGA: BREAKING DAWN-PART 1

or Edward Cullen!

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Rob has immortalized each and every one of his characters and Nere has given us some really good RobPorn to stuff our stashes with!

Thank you, Nere, and I hope you don’t mind that I used your pics today!

Happy Sunday, y’all!

Rita

Night Raider

22 Comments

Filed under Breaking Dawn, Cannes, Cosmopolis, How to Be, Remember Me, Rita01tx, Robert Pattinson, Sensual Sunday, WFE

Sensual Sunday ~ Excuse Me, Butt…!

Wet Rob Avi

You know what, ladies?

You’re just gonna have to ride this out with me ’cause, much as I love Rob’s beautiful face, my perv is all about his lower half at the moment LOL!

‘Fraid so!  You see…                       tumblr_mmoaypWjct1r7rghpo1_500

The way that sweet butt sways back ‘n forth in those jeans…hypnotic!

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The tighter the jeans, the better…hell’n we almost have crackage!

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Yeah, I just put this one in ’cause it’s so freakin’ cute LOL!

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Now, some of Rob’s jeans just don’t fit right…looks like he ain’t even got an ass in some of them…

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Maybe it’s the fashion {or was at the time}….

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but a good pair of jeans are supposed to make your butt look gooood!

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And these?

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just DON’T!

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Sexpenders were a vast improvement while they lasted…not long enough, right?

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Then again, we all know that jeans fit just fine when you first put them on…

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but loosen up the longer you wear them!

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Now THIS is more like it…nice tight jeans huggin’ Rob’s sweet tush!

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See? They were so tight his boxers got squeezed out the top like toothpaste LMAO!!!

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Basically, pants flatter Rob’s ass better than most of the jeans he wears!

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Who doesn’t love to see is that ass sittin’ snug inside a fabulous pair of designer pants?

CU

Uh, OK…these are probably NOT Gucci pants LOL!

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But, oh…

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when he’s wearin’ just the right suit…

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Poetry shall be written in honor of Rob’s butt!

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All right, dirty limericks, then LOL

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Yup, a view from the back is sometimes…not always…as good as the front LOL

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Chris musta thought his ass looked pretty fine in Tokyo that day LOL!

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Again, just ’cause he’s so adorkable when he tumbles head over heels…showin’ his ass!

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Pfffft! Like I’d forget! Thanks, Sally, for the gorgeous Birthday edit!

Happy Sunday, y’all!

Rita

Night Raider

25 Comments

Filed under Cannes, Cosmopolis, Happy Birthday!!!, Just For Shizz and Giggles, New Moon, Rita01tx, Robert Pattinson, Sensual Sunday, Twilight

Sensual Sunday ~ Treats from Toronto!

Wet Rob Avi*

Afternoon, lovies!

One or two of these pics crossed my path on tumblr the other day and I knew right away we were gonna need to see lots MORE!!!

Star date: June 4, 2012

Location: Toronto

Event:  Cosmopolis Press Conference

Don’t know that I need to add much narration today…

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I mean, how could I improve on that sweet glow of success on Rob’s face?

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So we’re just gonna perv on every arched eyebrow…

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Every wicked little grin…

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Every thumb and knuckle…

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And every {almost} clinched fist!

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We’re gonna count chest hairs… {ps: all these photos are HUGE if you click them to full screen! Ideal for countin’ chest hairs LMAO!!!}

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And eyelashes!!!

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Unless we get distracted by FingerPorn…

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And EyebrowPorn!!!

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Are we crazy about this man?

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Well, duuuh!!!

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There’s nothin’ we love more…

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Than spendin’ our otherwise borin’ Sundays…

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Gazin’ at the glory that is Rob!

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{Hang on…gotta count chest hairs!}

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OK, I’m back LOL!

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Remember how we freaked out last year during a RobDrought?

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How WOULD we survive without him?

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Well, we all learned to survive and even thrive…

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Cause not only do we have a huge stash of past RobPorn, but the absolute certainty that there WILL be more in the future!

Happy Sunday, y’all!

Rita

Night Raider

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Filed under Cosmopolis, Rita01tx, Robert Pattinson, Sensual Sunday

Sensual Sunday ~ Baseball Boy!

Wet Rob Avi

Oh my God, ladies!

I’ve been laughin’ my ass off all week readin’ one of the funniest fics I’ve come across in a good while LOL!

Bella at her snarkiest best…Edward {a.k.a. Baseball Boy} at his dorkiest EVER!

“Wait! What?” you may ask. “It’s not Fan Fiction Friday!”

Yeah, but it’s the inspiration for my post today and, therefore, fair game! Get it…Fair Game LMAO! But, seriously, do yourselves a HUGE favor and start reading:

Curve Ball by Staceleo

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9102043/1/Curve-Ball

Opposites attract don’t they? Not in Bella Swan’s world. Unfortunately, the Captain of the baseball team has other ideas. A short chapter tale written for mauigirl60.

{Diamond…*gigglesnort!*}

The key word bein’ “baseball,” it stood to reason I’d hark way back to the Vampire Baseball scene from Twilight LOL!

Like a baseballcage

Of course, it’s from Cosmopolis rehearsals, but Rob’s got to practice first, right? Well, it does look like he’s at a battin’ cage, don’t it?

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And, Rob’s wearin’ a proper baseball cap. What? I liked that pic in color, too!

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You have to catch the ball, before you can throw it Rob!

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There ya go, darlin’! {Are you catchin’ Rob’s pout? *Drool!*}

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Time to suit up and get out on the field…give ’em hell, baby!!

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Why so serious? It’s supposed to fun!

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Oh, I get it…someone’s cheatin’! Fuck ’em up, darlin’!

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LOL! I spy blue boxers!!

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Don’t let that big bully push you around, darlin’!

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Sorry, Missi! Guess Rob’s not beyond flippin’ someone the bird after all LMAO!

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Heads up…you still have a fastball to catch!

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Faster Rob!

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And NO CHEATIN’!

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Uh, oh! They saw you cheatin’ with the wires, baby!

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Bunch of pussies! You call that rumblin’?

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Game called on account of gross incompetence LMAO!!!

One of the reasons that made the whole Vampire Baseball scene so much fun for me was the music that went with it…Supermassive Black Hole by Muse!

Hell’n I was stuck in a Classic Rock rut for years until Twilight came along and updated my taste in music LOL!

What life change did Twilight do for you?

Happy Sunday, y’all!

Rita

Night Raider

29 Comments

Filed under Cosmopolis, Edward A M Cullen, Fan Fiction Recs, Rita01tx, Robert Pattinson, Sensual Sunday, Twilight

Sensual Sunday ~ Rita’s Recipe for Rob Soup!

Good mornin’, Ladies ! {Well, it was mornin’ when I started this…been addin’ ingredients all day!}

My inspiration is all over the place, today…it’s like comin’  face-to-face with one of RF’s Alien Invasion Robs and not knowin’ where to grab onto him first, so this “Rob Soup” is gonna have a little bit of everything LMAO!!!

Can’t go wrong with a large dollop of RobSpice!  Think I’ll just start with one of the hottest, steamiest, sexiest NSFW Rob vids I’ve come across in a looooong time!

What else can I use?  Oh, yeah…a stalk of RobStalker! Remember this photo I posted recently?  Remember I told you about that girl stalkin’ Rob all over NYC?

Recognize a certain person in the background as Rob was arrivin’ at the Museum of Modern Arm for the Cosmopolis premier on August 13th???

Not that I blame her, but it must be frustratin’ to get so close only to watch him disappear into the maddin’ crowd!

Might as well add some RobBeauty to the mix! You know I love light and shadow play LOL! {You NEED to see this full screen…click it!!}

So, that was Rob all spiffed up and lookin’ fine!  How ’bout tossin’ in a little Hobolicious Rob? Only our cheeky man could get away with turnin’ up at an interview with the New York Times wearin’ a backwards baseball cap and bumble bee striped shirt LMAO!!!

Of course, bein’ the pervy hOOrs we all are, his wardrobe malfunction did NOT go unnoticed…

As much water as he was drinkin’ durin’ that long-assed interview on August 15th, I’m not surprised he got “sidetracked” between the end of the interview and the photoshoot LOL!

Yeah…laugh it up, Rita! Like you’ve never come out of the ladies room with the back of your skirt all tucked in the top of your pantyhose!!!

Wha…how…who TOLD you that?!?!?!? {True facts, unfortunately *sigh!*}

Just a dash more RobBarrassment?  It would appear Rob’s switched from boxer brief to boxers!!!

Crap! He was movin’ too fast! Did we miss it? Uh, not likely LOL!

Time for Rob to have some damn FUN after all the rushin’ around and who better to have fun with than our favorite RobFanboy…Josh Horowitz!

And Rob DID have fun! No pressure…just laughs, giggles and evil chuckles when Josh handed over the award for beatin’ Hunger Games for the MTV Movie Brawl with Cosmopolis!

Rob had a couple days down time {I hope} before turnin’ up for Jimmy Kimmel on August 22nd!

JK always gets the best interviews out of Rob! They have a rapport that’s the envy of every other presenter LOL!

Ha! Rob knew exactly who all those women were there to see and it wasn’t JK LMAO!!!  Ummm, I just gotta steal me a little taste of sweet, sweet WonkyFeet!!!

After the show, Rob disappeared off into the night…

and went into full ninja mode for a couple weeks! That is, until Jayme kindly escorted him through LAX just in time for the VMA’s on September 6th!!!

Can you say Alpha Male?” {Now, that packs a punch…need some of that, too!}

And the Alpha Male will have his due LOL! {yeah, I KNOW it’s just the camera angle, but still…}

Rob melted a ton of panties as a result of…THIS bit of RobHotness {beautifully captued by @fearlessmore}!!!

Not only did Rob melt our panties at the VMA’s, he completely melted our hearts with RobHumbleness when he made a surprise appearance at the Stand Up 2 Cancer charity event the very next night!

Rob, darlin’! You’re the BEST!!! {a RobHug FTMFW!!!}

As always, Rob left us pantin’ for more…just can’t get enough of that man!  Francies67 gives us this partin’ shot of RobAngelness!

Heeey! I know what to put into my Rob Soup for the finish touch! RobPizazz!!!

Garnished with a drizzle of Rob’s DreamCream, and there you have it…Rita’s Rob Soup!

Happy Sunday, y’all!

Rita

12 Comments

Filed under Cosmopolis, Rob Pattinson, Sensual Sunday

Sensual Sunday ~ Rob Can Ring My Bell!

Good evening, ladies!

Sorry for bein’ AWOL last Sunday but, as we all know, RL sometimes takes priority over Rob pervin’…much as that really pisses me off LOL!

When I heard Rob was goin’ to ring the startin’ bell at the New York Stock Exchange as part of his promotion for Cosmopolis, I was so proud and excited for him!

Star Date: August 14, 2012

Location: New York Stock Exchange

Event: Ringing the Starting Bell

Our beautiful man looked the part, wearin’ that gorgeous suit, crisp white shirt, and perfect blue silk tie!

Mr. Sex-on-Legs in the City!!!  {Security Dude was still doin’ a bang up job of watchin’ out for him while Dean was engaged elsewhere!}

Is there anything more beautiful than seein’ Rob excited about a new adventure?

*THUD!*  Yup! Seein’ it again…up close!!!

Not many people ever get to see the inside of the NYSE Boardroom! That musta been surreal!

Looks like they were more excited about havin’ Rob and David in their place of business than vice versa LOL!  Didn’t take long for the Boardroom to fill up with admirers!!

Did they let Rob keep his personal badge as a souvenir, I wonder? If not, who got to keep it???

Can I go ring the bell now? Can I? Can I?

Time to get this show on the road, Rob!

That woman was very professional throughout, but I’ll bet she was quiverin’ inside LOL!

“Fuuuck! This feels like one of those nightmares where you go out on stage naked and you can’t remember your lines!”

LMAO! I can well imagine!

“I’ll just picture THEM naked! Wait…not the guys!”

There ya go, darlin’! You can do this!

Rob, stop picturing them naked! “I can’t help it…it’s in my head now!”

This is serious business! I WILL be professional!

THIS! This one perfect photo was worth the whole visit to the NYSE!

Just look at what our Melbie did with it!! Simply mouth-waterin’ *Drool!”

Even Sally {InRobWeLust} couldn’t resist lightin’ up this shot of Rob’s truly noble face!

Her partner in crime, Fearlessmore, flipped it and gave us this stunnin’ black ‘n white version!!!

Did I do it right? Was that OK?

You done real good, baby!

These people are way too “normal” to be dirty capitalist pigs!

Actually, David said in their New York Times interview that he’d never seen such happy, warm and friendly capitalists LMAO!!!

David! I just heard the cast of Jersey Shore rang the bell last week! “WTF?”

I don’t know if that’s true…rumor has it that a number of “celebrities” have been ringing that damn bell!

Well, it was still a fun thing to do!

Yes it was, angel! And fun to watch you do it LOL!

See? They even gave us these cool commemorative plaques!

I see…very cool, Rob! {Probably didn’t let him keep his badge after all LOL!}

Now, just because it’s “Sensual” Sunday, I’ll leave you with Tanita’s hot, steamy, NSFW vid with the song, “Ring My Bells” by Enrique Iglesias!  Enjoy!

Happy Sunday, y’all!

Rita

14 Comments

Filed under Cosmopolis, Rob Pattinson, Sensual Sunday

Sensual Sunday ~ Through the Looking Glass!

Well, good afternoon, ladies!

This has been one helluva week, hasn’t it?  Were you all as shakey and nervous as I was to see Rob again, after so long?

And, all of a sudden, there he was! Girdin’ his loins, as it were, and ready to dive into promotin’ his ass off for Cosmopolis *THUD!*

Rob quote: “I don’t have awkward moments. I have an awkward life, occasionally interrupted by normalcy.”

Lookin’ all fine and fit, if a trifle thinner than I remember…AND the wonky legs are BACK!

We’ll get to the premier of Cosmopolis another time, cause I’ve got some photos in my head from the Good Morning America show that will explain the title of my post!

Arrivin’ at the GMA building, Rob was hustled from the car by his ever present security team.

But, I think Rob had failed to anticipate the hords of screamin’ fans waitin’ on him LOL!  {Aw, crap! I just spotted that triangle of Happy Trail *THUD!*}

This guy was glued to Rob’s side 24/7 the whole week! {Wonder how much weight he lost tryin’ to keep up *gigglesnort!*}

{*GAH!* TonguePorn alert!} Rob was like a vampire…feedin’ off the energy of all the adorin’ women waitin’ for a chance to grab him {they wish}!!!

Hell’n if it was me, I’d be scared shitless!  This particularly avid fan musta been stalkin’ him all over NYC, cause I spotted her when he arrived at the Museum of Modern Art for the premier, too!

And here’s what I mean by “Through the Looking Glass!” Someone took photos from outside lookin’ in and the effect gives Rob an ethereal beauty that does my head somethin’ fierce! {Bet that girl’s hands were tremblin’ so bad, it took her a lot longer to hook him up than it should have LMAO! OR, maybe she made it last as long as possible!?!?! I know I would have *snickers!*}

It must be kinda like Alice climbin’ through the lookin’ glass into an alternate reality for Rob to be yanked so abruptly from solitude to chaos in a heartbeat!

I swear, I’m seein’ stars just lookin’ at him!!!

And his adorable man giggle makes my lady bits tingle LOL!

Am I completely crazy for bein’ so Robsessed that watchin’ him do somethin’ as simple as drinkin’ a cup of coffee warms my heart? If so, then I completely own it…I AM crazy!

Don’t know ’bout you, but I’m lovin’ Rob’s longer hair! {That little forehead pluck tryin’ to escape? *squeee!*}

Imma just lose myself in Rob’s eyes for a while…

Sorry, still lost *gigglesnort!*

Could Rob be more adorable?

Why, yes he can!!!

And then, that buttfaced, swarmy presenter {don’t remember his name…don’t care to} addressed the “elephant in the room!”

“What do you want your fans to know about what’s going on in your personal life?”

Well, Rob thought about it for a second…

Looked out the window at his fans… {thank you, Sista Melbie, for this devine B/W of Rob’s profile *swoon!*}

{God, I hate that ScumDude made him so uncomfortable!}

“I guess…”

And then, our sweet man came up with the perfect answer!!!

“I want my fans to know that…Cinnamon Toast Crunch only has 30 calories a bowl.” {In case WP super minimizes these 2 gifs!}

And there you have it!  Ain’t none of our business…never has been…never will be!!!

Here’s hopin’ all you ladies in the good ol’ US of A can find a theatre near you to see Cosmopolis! Supportin’ Rob’s career is where we need to be concentratin’ all our energy!

Happy Sunday, y’all!

Rita

34 Comments

Filed under Cosmopolis, Fingerporn, Sensual Sunday, Stunning

Sensual Sunday ~ The Cuteness Factor!

WARNING: If you’re readin’ this at work, you might wanna wait til you get home…just sayin’!

Don’t know ’bout you, ladies, but I feel the need to exercise our Rob given right to PERV!

These pics have been burnin’ a hole in my pocket for a while now, and I do believe it’s the perfect time to share!

It wasn’t until recently that I found out who was doin’ these, but I remember laughin’ my ass off the first time I saw Jayme DuRob puttin’ herself right where we all want to be…in the photo with Rob!!!

Jayme has done this in the cutest way imaginable {and the perviest…just wait for it} !!!

What? No itsy bitsy teeny weeny purple polka-dot bikini, darlin’?  {Hell’n I should talk…gave up wearin’ bikini’s years ago LOL!}

Ride ‘im, Jayme!  Wooeeeee!!!  {I cursed and blessed the fuckin’ paps in the same breath that day, ’cause there wasn’t any way in hell I wasn’t gonna watch The Pretty havin’ the time of his life!}

It ain’t easy gettin’ Rob’s attention, is it sweetie?  Anyone who’s ever stood in line for him can testify to that LOL! {Anyone else findin’ yourself livin’ vicariously through “ME”? GAW…just the chance to stroke that face…DED!!}

Now what the heck’s the name of those shoes with the red soles again? Don’t look like he’s impressed with fancy footware, angel! {Although I think HE might be makin’ a BIG impression on her butt…stop wrigglin’, darlin’ *gigglesnort!*}

I think you got his attention that time, hon…just not the kind you were lookin’ for! {Can’t tell if he’s about to scratch or sneeze LOL!}

All riiiiight! Now we’re gettin’ somewhere, darlin’!  Well, damn…Rob seems a bit distracted, though. You got any other ideas?  {Man don’t kiss with his eyes open if he’s payin’ attention, right?}

OK, good strategy! Make friends with sweet little Mackenzie! {Rob can play “Bad Daddy” with me any time!  Oh yeah, guess we’d have to play “Bad Mama” LMAO!!!  What can I say…Rob makes me FEEL young!}

Why, Jayme darlin’!  Thanks for includin’ me in your Rob encounter on the red carpet in Cannes! What? Oh, it’s not me {pouty face}, it’s your bestie SD? {Don’t have permission to use your name, SD, but you know who you are LOL!}

OMFG! Goin’ straight for the Promised Land, you pevy little hOOr?!?! {Yup! Jayme is definitely one of us LMAO! You go, girl!!!}

Damn, woman!  If that don’t get Rob’s attention, nothin’ will! {Not quite the strategy I was expectin’, but whatever works LOL!}

NipplePorn FTMFW!  I like where this is goin’, angel!!!

Smart girl!  Keep alternatin’ moves on him…his attention’s definitely on YOU!!!

Well, hell!  If SD gets a turn, I want one, too!!!

Holy Hell in a Handbasket, Jayme darlin’!  {Livin’ vicariously, livin’ vicariously, livin’ fuckin’ vicariously THUD!}{Ya’ll just hang on a minute while I go change mah drawers!}

LMAO! After all that, um…exercise, you and Rob both deserve to chillax with a nice, cold Coke! {In Texas, pop, or soda, is a Coke no matter what it is LOL!}

For those of you who are followin’ the Olympics, enjoy them with Rob and “ME!”

I’d like to thank the fabulous Bornonhalloween for suggestin’ this merry madness LOL!!!

If you aren’t readin’ her fic “Lather, Rinse, Repeat,” you’re missin’ a great story!

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7584064/1/Lather_Rinse_Repeat

Freshly graduated from Cosmetology School, Bella takes a job in a health club beauty salon called Mystique. First days on the job can be so boring…until that perfect head of hair walks in! All drabble, All human
Rated: Fiction  M – English – Romance/Drama –  Bella & Edward – Chapters: 281   – Words: 57,237 – Reviews: 13,022 – Favs: 805 – Follows: 1,210 – Updated: 07-28-12 – Published: 11-26-11 – id: 7584064

Happy Sunday, ya’ll!

Rita

41 Comments

Filed under Bel Ami, Breaking Dawn, Cosmopolis, Rob Pattinson, Sensual Sunday

Sensual Sunday ~ In Rob We Lust!

Good evening, ladies…well, its evening here LOL!

I’m a little late posting today but it was just too gorgeous to stay inside. I mighta got a pink nose to show for it *gigglesnort!*

Now as to the title of my post, we are all “in lust” with Rob in every way imaginable.  BUT, this is all about Sally, aka InRobWeLust!

Back in March, when I posted “Slave for Rob,” RDMickey1989 said I should check out Sally’s tumblr cause she was a brilliant photo enhancer/editor, right up there with the best of them!

Well, I did check her out and I have since collected quite a stash of RobPorn by the lovely Sally!

Gonna try not to get all wordy and shit and just show you my favorites, but don’t hold me to it LOL!  Just prepare to be dazzled…

Brilliant montage from the Premiere Magazine photoshoot 2012.

Premier of Breaking Dawn 1 in Paris 2011! Goatee and all, Rob’s an angel in this one!

BD1 Promo Tour Barcelona 2011…looks like he trimmed the scruff by then!

Sexy Hobo stalking the streets of Beverly Hills in 2009! Baby rocks the color blue, don’t he?

Graham Norton Show 2011 for the Water for Elephants Promo Tour! Rob was daft side out during most of that interview!

Oh, God! Remember how shocked we all were that he showed up at Comic Con 2011 with half his head shaved? Rob absolutely reveled in all the gasps and groans LMAO!!!

Chateau Marmont 2008.  Am I the only one missing the Rob & Tom Show?

On the set of Remember Me 2009. So many beautiful shots of Rob for that film *sigh!*

This one, still on the set of Remember Me, cracks me the fuck up every time I see it!

Hauntingly beautiful in Bel Ami…not long now til we get the DVD!!

The way Sally colored this Bel Ami still makes it look like a painting…I love that effect!

Sensually lighted still from Breaking Dawn 1.  Damn sexy vampire! DED!!!

Majorly hawt NeckPorn from the Cosmopolis Press Conference in Cannes!

Couldn’t resist sharing Sally’s wicked sense of humor…Cosmopolis Premier Berlin.

I’m up for another threesome! How ’bout you?  Cosmopolis Berlin Portraits.

Fuck me sideways!  Those eyes will be the death of me!  H00r down ~ THUD! {still in Berlin for Cosmopolis}

Just to remind us that Rob is a human being like the rest of us. Remember Me afterparty in London 2010. {Still rocks the color blue!}

Edward {Eclipse} is one smooth motherfucker!  GAH! EyelashPorn…JawPorn…LipPorn!

I think it’s safe to say that THIS edit of Rob’s ass from Bel Ami is the one that put Sally on the map as a master photo editor / enhancer! Can I get an “AMEN” sistas!!!

With that, we’ll paddle off into the sunset with Rob {Malibu April 2012}!

So, was it all you thought it’d be?

Happy Sunday, ya’ll!

Rita

60 Comments

Filed under Artistic Genius!, Bel Ami, Breaking Dawn, Breathless, Cannes, Cosmopolis, Edward A M Cullen, Georges DuRoy, Rob Pattinson, Sensual Sunday, Twilight, WFE