Category Archives: in my dreams

Dream Job

*blows kisses*

RobsFan~tasy

Hello all!

Is anybody still alive out there??

With all this Dior and MTTS porn we’ve been getting lately I’ve had a hell of a time dragging my ass outta the gutter. But  now that it seems our fountain of porn is starting to dry up, *pouty face* I have emerged with one thought in mind, (Besides the fact that Rob is the most amazingly Gorgeous man on the planet!) Camile has got to be the luckiest woman on Earth! I mean seriously talk about your Dream Job!

She gets look at this everyday in person, face to face…

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She gets to see him coming for her and take her by the hand…

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She gets to dance with him…

TheBall

She gets to be carried in his arms…

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She gets to touch him, be touched and kissed by  him…

TheElevator

She gets to snuggle with him…

TheKiss

She gets to wrap herself around him…

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She gets to stroke him…

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She gets to nuzzle him…

ThePiano3

And she gets well paid for it too? How the hell is she still alive????

“Dream as though you’ll live forever. Live as though you’ll die today.”

Yeah, being with Rob like this would definitely kill  me!

RobsFan-tasy

 

 

 

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All gifs courtesy of RP AU

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Filed under Artistic Genius!, DIOR, in my dreams, RAAWWRRR, Rob Pattinson

Tempting Tuesday Dior or What?

*blows kisses*

RobsFan~tasy

Morning Ladies,

Like most of you stuck in this Rob drought I’m desperate for some new Rob Porn that doesn’t come from a pap! Knowing that all the projects he signed up for last year are now on hold, that leaves us with one final hope. The Christian Dior Campaign!!

It’s Been said by that well known non-existent? “SOURCE” *ahem* that,

“It’s going to be the biggest and most talked about advert of the year …”  

“The advert is sexually charged. Robert is topless for part of it and kissing the model with tongues. He looks very much into the girl he stars alongside. Rob and the model are in a swimming pool making out and he’s seen giving her a blow-back with a cigarette at one stage, too…”  

“There are scenes where Rob is chasing the model around town wearing a mixture of Dior jackets, shirts and suits…”  

“There’s also one scene where R-Patz takes part in a foursome and writhes around in bed with three models in various states of undress. But nobody is sure whether this will make the final cut. It’s a no-holds-barred advert and very sexy for a fashion house like Dior. Dior are thrilled with it however because they know how controversial it’s going to be. It’s the talk of the fashion world right now and has been one of the most eagerly awaited adverts for years.” 

quoted from Celebitchy

 

Like everyone else I’m wondering Where the F*ck is the Dior campaign we were promised? Well when I heard recently that the commercial would only be shown in Paris, (I was f*cking pissed off!! That’s not fair!! WTF???)  Slightly miffed. Then I heard the magazine campaign was on hold indefinitely, wouldn’t be out till October, would be out this month, was delayed until JUNE!!! WTF?? Seriously? If you don’t know for CERTAIN then DON’T report on it! Hurrumph!

Typical of the rumor mill, I know nothing more than when I started searching!

Since Dior won’t cum to us, I knew the Rob fandom wouldn’t let us down! So since we can’t have the real thing, here are several Dior/Rob manips for your viewing/daydreaming pleasure…

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STEfraFYc_77 did several of hese manips! Bless her heart and Thank You very much!

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The sleek wealthy Eric Packer look is pretty nice with a Dior slogan!

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This campaign was shot back in December 2012 when our boy was without the sex hair. even though I am a sex hair addict Rob doesn’t need it with the sexy scruff and the F*ck me eyes!

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This one is kinda plain but Rob’s look says it all!

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If  I’m not mistaken (and I could be!) This was a previous Dior campaign but come on…Rob does EVERYTHING Better!

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according to the descriptions I’ve read about what this campaign is supposed to look like, This manip (artist unknown to me) is the closest one I have seen to what this Dior campaign is supposed to look like but not nearly as sexy as was described above!

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If you have ever wonder why they call Rob “Mr. Sexy On Legs” all you gotta do is look at this picture and let your imagination run wild! hehe

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To me, this one looks like it was torn straight from the magazine! Great job Mimy!

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I wasn’t gonna include this one but Rita loves the damn (ugly) shirt so what was I to do?

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Ah now here, this one is niiiiice!!

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I LURVE this one! To me it screams sexy and sensual without saying a word!

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I saved my favorites for last cause who wouldn’t love to see Rob walkin’ into their bedroom lookin’ like that! Sex hair, scruff, sex stare… add to that the thought of him wearing Dior cologne…OMG! Just kill me now!

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This last one is one of my favs just because it looks so classy and like a real Dior Campaign! A true work of art!

Well, that’s all I have for today ladies! Do you fiddle with Photoshop? Goof around With Gimp? Show us your take on The Robert Pattinson Dior Campaign.

 

Much Love to you all,

RobsFan-tasy

 

 

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Filed under DIOR, in my dreams, Missing Our Boyfriend, Rob Drought, Rob Pattinson

Monday Madness…Ring in the New Year With the New RA!

*blows kisses*

RobsFan~tasy

Hi Ya'all

Rita01tx

RF & Rita Co-post

*RF’s standing at the door greeting everyone as they enter*

“Yes, yes…that’s right, girls. Come on in and grab a seat. Here, don’t forget your shamwows. You’re gonna need them! Drinks are up at the bar, so just help yourself! Hi! How are you ladies tonight? Come on in!

*Rita walks in*

“RF, whut in the blue blazes are you up to now?”

“I told you I had plans and surprises for the New Year!”
“Yeah, so?”
*
“Look around, Girlfriend!”
*
“Holy crap! You got us a new background…and a new blinkie, too! Niiice!
*
“Uh huh! Mississippibellaslis was kind enough to do that blinkie for us. And that ain’t all…look up! See? There’s lots of new banners too!”
*
“Well, now! Who do we get to thank for the new banners?”
*
“Kerry Delaney and Jolori, made some, as well as Cared, TheRoseAndTheDragon, and Mississippibellalis made the animated ones.”
*
“I surely do like what you’ve done with the place!”
*
“Thanks BB, but I’m just getting started! We’re gonna kick it up a notch this year…beginning tonight!!
*
“Well, it looks like we got us a full house! Go for it!”
*
“Ladies, I know you are all excited about the changes, but if you’ll take your seats please? Dear RA friends! RA is ringing in the New Year with a New Look!
So, in celebration of a new year, RA’s new look, and a new career for Rob, it’s LADIES NIGHT and  you are all invited to PAR-TAY! Hang onto your knickers…we’re going in!”
*
resizedimage406456-ladiesnight
*

*

“Express”

It’s a cold and cRA!zy world that’s RA!gin’ outside
Well baby me and all my girls are bringin’ on the fire
Show a little leg, gotta shimmy your chest
It’s a life, it’s a style, it’s a need, it’s RA!

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*THUD!* “Hit us with Fifty right off the bat, why dontcha?”

“Only the best for My Girls!”

E-X-P-R-E-S-S, love, sex
Ladies no regrets
E-X-P-R-E-S-S, love, sex
Ladies no regrets

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“Oooh! The things I could do to Rob with that tie!” *gigglesnort!*

“That’s it Rob, take it off! Take it all off!”

Been holding back for quite some time and finally the moment’s right
We love to make the people stare
They know we got that certain savoir-faire

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“Geeze, I could get lost in those eyes…hell’n I AM lost in those eyes!”

“The man is soooo intense! Grrrr…”

Fasten up
Can you imagine what would happen if we let you close enough to touch?

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“Yeah, baby! Here I cum!”

“Back off Rita!! It’s Monday!!!” LOL

Step into the fantasy
You’ll never want to leave, baby that’s guaRA!nteed… Why?

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“Is it gettin’ warm in here?” *groan!”

“Getting warm?? Hell I passed warm about a mile back!”

It’s a passion, an emotion, it’s a fashion, RA!.
It’ll move you, goin’ through you, so do what we do, RA!
All ladies confident, flaunt it, boys throw it up if you want it
Can you feel me, can you feel it? It’s RA!.

motu

“I think my ovaries just exploded!” *GAH!*

“Oh! Jack Daniels Body shots off the Happy Trail…YES PLEASE!!”

Le Le Le Le Le Le Le
RA!
Le Le Le Le Le Le Le
RA!

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“You just had to give us a Tattbert…you knowz my weakness!”

“Yup! What can I say? I just couldn’t resist the pistol in his pants!” *Giggles*

We tease ‘em ’til they’re on the edge
They scream and moan for more and more they beg.
We know it’s ROB they come to see
Our pleasure brings them to their knees

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“What I wouldn’t give to run my fingers through that Sex Hair and down those abs!” * drool!*

“OH! Rob half naked in the kitchen! Too…Many…Pervy…Thoughts…Must…have…Whipped Cream Rob!!!”

Fasten up
Can you imagine what would happen if we let you close enough to touch?

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“Now, there’s MY fantasy…a session in the barn with Rob!” LOL!

“Woo Hooo!! I got some Dollars to stuff into that belt Baby!!

Step into the fantasy
You’ll never want to leave, baby that’s guaRA!nteed… Why?

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“The man DO inspire passion…understatement of the century!”

The man’s DOing things to everyone here that Should be illegal! Thank God it’s Not!” *teehee*

It’s a passion, an emotion, it’s a fashion, RA!
It’ll move you, goin’ through you, so do what we do, RA!
All ladies, confident, flaunt it, boys throw it up if you want it
Can you feel me, can you feel it? It’s RA!.

Edward Manip 100 copy

“Gettin’ a little saucy there, ain’t ya RF? I’ll take it…uh, Rob that is” LOL!

“Weeellll, I said I was gonna kick it up a notch this year. Did I lie?” LOL

Le Le Le Le Le lele
RA!
Le Le Le Le Le Le Le
RA! [x4]

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“Must.Lick.Happy Trail!” *DED!*

It’s a passion, an emotion, it’s a fashion, RA!
It’ll move you, goin’ through you, so do what we do, RA!
All ladies confident, flaunt it, boys throw it up if you want it
Can you feel me, can you feel it? It’s RA!.

“Yeah girls, I know just how you feel!”

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“RF! You done went and made ALL our ovaries explode!”

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“Well, in that case… 

happynewyear-animated

MUCH LOVE TO YOU ALL,

RobsFan~tasy XOXO

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Filed under Addicted, Artistic Genius!, Because I CAN!, Breathless, in my dreams, Monday Madness, oh lalala, Rob Pattinson, Shamwow anyone?

Sensual Sunday ~ Pucker Up, Dollface!

Alright, ladies!

Who has the most kissable lips God ever gave man? ROB!

Can we ever get enough of lookin’ at ’em? NO!!!

We all have a whole bucket list full of things we’d like to do with {and/or to} Rob, even if it will only ever be in our dreams…and dream we do!  But, suckin’ face with The Pretty is way high on that list!

First time I saw this photo of Rob at the Tokyo premier of Goblet of Fire is when I went “DAYUM! That’s ROB?” Cause I hadn’t started seriously huntin’ down RobPorn until Twilight came out!

And while I am completely enamoured with Rob’s PantyMeltin’Pout {I refuse to call it a TroutPout cause that’s just nasty}, what I will be focussin’ on today is the Mother of all Puckers, aka Rob’s MotherPucker!!!

Jayme! What did I just say? ME has no control LMAO!!!

See, every now and then, someone catches Rob puckerin’ those sweet lips like he’s sayin’ “Oooooh!” and I just fuckin’ SWOON!

You can see ’em  beginnin’to loosen up…

just a little bit more…

Until they look as soft as downy pillows! MWAH!!!

Aw, now that’s just overkill! And who the H E double hockey sticks put lipstick on our man!?!?!

Rob pops that MotherPucker even when he’s not aware of the cameras….

Or, maybe he IS aware of the cameras!

{Needed to see that one up close!} DAYUM! That upper lip just begs to be attacked!!!

Either way, I’m pretty sure he’s flirtin’ with us when pops it durin’ personal appearances!

How he keeps switchin’ from top lip pucker to bottom lip pucker, I’ll never know!

But MotherPuckerin’ both of ’em together? Must take a lot of practice LMAO!!!

MotherPuckerin’ even gets to us when it’s framed by Rob’s glorious scruff…

OK, so a more subtle approach to highlightin’ Rob’s MotherPucker with a little red might just grow on me…or, maybe it’s just because it’s BIEL!

Melbie’s black ‘n white just proves that Rob doesn’t need color to suck us in with his MotherPucker!

Give us a profile, MotherPucker! {wipes tear…I just kill myself sometimes!} {Click on it if it turned tiny on me!}

Three-quarter profile? Yeah, better…

OMG! The half-open MotherPucker! *THUD!*

Well, that’s me DIED, so I’d just like to take this opportunity to thank Clairebamboozle…my partner in crime on this post. She provided the gifs and some of the photos! Thanks, BB!!!

Thank you, Rob!

Happy Sunday, y’all!

Rita

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Filed under Addicted, Breathless, in my dreams, My Brand of Heroin, Rob Pattinson, Sensual Sunday

Monday Madness ~ Thrill Me Thursday 4 of 4 posts!

I darted into a dark alley. With every heartbeat, I knew he was growing closer and closer, so I took another step back, farther and farther into the alley. I realized with sudden horror that this was the very same alley he had come from earlier today. I spun around, horrified to find large egg shaped shell thingies all over the alley. Large enough to hold a human being. Large enough to hold a man! One of the pods made a cracking noise and I plastered myself against the wall, away from it. A neon green light appeared over the pod, illuminating it enough for me to see what was happening all too clearly. I couldn’t believe my eyes!

This is where they were coming from! When one of the Robs was revealed to the waist, I just couldn’t look anymore. I turned my head away, coming face-to-face with the source of the neon green light. It hung in mid-air over the “new Rob” and it was looking directly at me!

 

I could hear myself screaming, my heart racing…

~ o ~

I sat bolt upright…safe in my own bed! It was a dream! It was all just a dream! I wrapped my arms around my knees and couldn’t resist the urge to laugh at myself! WTF was I so scared of? It was every Rob girl’s dream to have Rob all to herself and I had just dreamed up the perfect scenario! I laughed again at the memory of the dream.

“Honey, you all right in there?” I heard my husband call from the bathroom.

“Yeah, babe…just another wild and weird dream from my overactive imagination,” I told him as he sauntered out of the bathroom and  stepped up to the bed.  A large towel was wrapped loosely around his waist while he rubbed his head with another one to dry his wet hair.

“Was I in this dream?” he asked.

I looked up and smiled at him as he removed the towel from his head and wrapped it around his neck. I caught a glimpse of myself in the dresser mirror. I was stunned at my husbands “New Look.” And then, I saw my reflection grin wickedly back at me. I tore the towel from around his waist and tossed it across the room. Quickly grabbing both ends of the towel around his neck, I giggled as I pulled him down onto the bed with me.

“Nah, babe. This dream was about aliens,” I told him.

~O~

Have you Checked your husband/Boyfriend lately???????? Bwahahahahaha

Hope you all Enjoyed my little foray into Madness this week!

Much Love to you all,

Mwah!

 RobsFan~tasy
                                             “We all go a little Mad sometimes.”

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Filed under Because he gives us a Reason to smile., Because I CAN!, in my dreams, it's true, Just For Shizz and Giggles, Monday Madness, My Brand of Heroin, Thrill Me Thursday, We All Go A Little Mad Sometimes, WTF?

Monday Madness ~ Thrill Me Thursday 4series Post. Part 3!

At first I saw only women. Two at the registers, one at the service desk, a few female customers and then I turned down one of the aisles and there he was. A very young Rob looking just like he did in “How to Be”. It stunned me for a moment to see such a young Rob and I just stared at him. He didn’t seem to notice me, he was too involved in his work so I quietly walked away.

I had to get a newspaper and get back to Rita. I shoved the money into the machine and pulled out the paper.

I flipped the front page over to reveal this eyewitness sketch of his eyes,

Apparently the eyewitness had been so captivated by his eyes that she hadn’t gotten any farther than that! Yeah, I knew that feeling all too well! This explained enough of what was going on to send me high-tailing it back to Rita’s office. Ever get that feeling up your spine like you were being watched…maybe even followed?  I stopped at the corner and casually turned to look behind me and there, a little ways back, was the alley Rob coming right at me, still looking pissed! All the other Robs had been really nice, so why did this one want to hurt me? Was it because I saw him coming out of the alley? I saw him straightening his clothes…had he mugged someone? Was he afraid I knew? I panicked and ran out into the street to get away from him and was almost plowed down by a car. I looked frantically about and the only refuge I saw was a Catholic church across the street. I made a beeline for the door and burst inside, almost reaching the front before I turned to watch the doors anxiously.

“Ah, lass. Is there something I can do for ya, now?” I heard that familiar voice  say behind me.

I knew my mouth was working, but no sound was coming out of it.

“There, there, lass. It’ll be all right. Let’s have a seat now, shall we, and tell me what it be that has ya so worked up,” he said, patting me on the shoulder. This Rob was stunning in his kindness and alluring with his accent. He seemed much safer than alley Rob, in any case.

“I’m being followed!” I blurted out in a panic.

“Is that so? And what did this person look like?” he asked gently.

“Uh, well, he looks a little like you, but kind of wild and angry looking.” I replied, not at all sure what he would do. Being a man of the cloth, I decided to risk it, but then again, if the paper was right, he wasn’t a man at all, was he? So then, his oath as a Catholic priest meant nothing, right?

“Really now?” he said with a chuckle.

“Yes. Father.  Would you mind looking outside to see if he’s still there?” I asked.

“Not at’ll, lass. Why don’t you have a seat and rest for a moment. You look a wee bit frazzled. I’ll be back. You say he looks like myself?” he queried.

“Yes, but his hair is all messy…in an attractive kind of way, and he’s wearing a black shirt and a light gray jacket.” I told him, still stunned to find myself talking to Rob, knowing all the while it wasn’t really Rob at all…not to mention he was a priest, of all things! Leave it to me, when every man on earth turns into Rob, I’d wind up with a priest! I watched him walk away, unable to help myself from admiring him, then admonishing myself for perving over a priest while I sat in the heart of the Catholic Church! Oh, I was so going to Hell!  I clutched the newspaper to my chest, afraid he might see it and make the connection. Anxiously waiting for him to return, a part of me was terrified that priest Rob would return with alley Rob and half a dozen other Robs to do away with me! I could see tomorrow’s headline: “LOCAL WOMAN LOOSES MIND, THEN VANISHES”

Priest Rob returned, walking slowly with his hands clasped behind his back. He was smiling at me like you’d smile at an elderly person with senility.

“There be no one out there fittin’ that description, lass,” he stated.

Not sure I was safe anywhere, my only voice of reason, the only person who knew for certain that I wasn’t losing my mind, was Rita.  I needed to get back to her!

“Well, I’m sorry I bothered you, Father. Perhaps I was mistaken. I’ve had a rather unusual morning. Um, I’ll just be going now.  Thank you so much for your kindness,” I said.

The whole time, I was sidling past him, clutching the newspaper and backing away towards the doors I had entered through.

“No bother at’ll, Lass. God Bless you!” he said, turning and walking back into the church.

Oh, this didn’t make any sense at all! I rushed out the door, taking just a moment on the steps to check for alley Rob.  I didn’t see him anywhere so I ran the rest of the way back to Rita’s office. I couldn’t wait to sit down and go over the paper with her and find out what the feck was really going on. Aliens? For reals? Rob Aliens?? What did they want?

As the elevator doors opened on her floor, I made my way to Rita’s desk only to find she wasn’t there! Oh no! I scanned the tops of the cubicles but I couldn’t see anything. Then I heard her familiar laugh and followed the sound…to Gary’s cubicle! She was sitting on his lap! The traitor!

“RITA! What are you doing?” I yelled at her.

Gary/Rob swiveled his chair around, with Rita still on his lap, and they both grinned at me.

“Oh! Hi, RF! It’s all good, BB!” she giggled.

I didn’t know what to do or say. I guess I was completely on my own now. I turned and ran for the elevator.

“You go, girl! Get yours!” she trilled after me.

Just as the elevator doors closed, I heard her squeal with delight! Or was that actually a squee? Back on the street, I ran to my car, climbed in and locked all the doors. I took off not knowing where I was going or what I was going to do. Since I hadn’t had time to read the paper and couldn’t read it while I was driving, I turned the radio on. If aliens had truly invaded, surely it would be on the local news. Of course, the voice over the radio was a familiar one. Not as familiar as in the voice I heard every day on the radio, but familiar as in…it was Rob’s voice reporting the news. I could just picture him there in the radio station now.

“Yes, it’s true! Aliens have landed right here on Earth. According to their spokes…uh, person, they have been studying us for a while now, focusing mostly on the women of our planet because there are no females where they come from. They find our women a most interesting subject and, in studying them, they found that the consensus among them was that their men were neither as romantic, handsome, or adoring as they wanted them to be. The aliens have a very unobtrusive way of reading women’s minds and discovered that nine out of ten women found the actor, Robert Pattinson, to be the most attractive, sexiest man alive. They admired everything about him and he seemed to possess the very things their men lacked. So, purely as a study, these “aliens” set about transforming the men of this planet into Robert Pattinson look-a-likes. They look like him, act like him, talk like him, and they have included every character Mr. Pattinson has played in the movie industry so that there would be a variety for our women to choose from. Apparently, some women preferred Jacob Jankowski, while others preferred the more sexually voracious Georges DuRoy.  Still others preferred the original Edward Cullen character. The men are thrilled because now their women are perving over them instead of the movie star.

“How does the real Robert Pattinson feel about all this, you might ask yourself. Well, we managed to contact him and this was his response…

“YEAH! Are you serious? I love it! Now I can go anywhere and do anything without worrying about the fuckin’ paps hounding me, or hordes of screaming fan girls mobbing me! Now, everyone has their own R-Pattz they can live out their fantasies with! I ain’t even mad!”

Well, that sounded like something the real Rob would say! Typical word vomit! I pulled the car over and parked. I was only a few blocks from the office, so I decided to go back and talk to Rita again. That is, if I could pull her away from “Gary”! I got out of the car and started walking. I wasn’t sure how I felt about all of this. Was it really such a bad thing? Women all over the world were having their greatest wish fulfilled! Starting to feel slightly better, I looked up to see just how many “men” were left in the city and how many had already been transformed into one Rob or another. I was momentarily stunned and frozen in place to see Rome Rob across the street. Oh, God! He was definitely giving me the “come hither” look.

 

I glanced around to make sure it was me he was looking at and I was right! He nodded his head for me to cross the street towards him and I could feel the blush fill my cheeks. Before I even had time to think, alley Rob caught my attention. He was a little further down the road and hadn’t seen me yet. I didn’t know why he was so angry, but I wasn’t taking any chances.

To be CONCLUDED Tomorrow!!!

Much Love to you all,

RobsFan~tasy

21 Comments

Filed under Because he gives us a Reason to smile., in my dreams, Just For Shizz and Giggles, Monday Madness, Thrill Me Thursday, We All Go A Little Mad Sometimes, WTF?

Monday Madness ~ Thrill Me Thursday 4 part post. Part 2!

Ok I’m back with part 2! Enjoy!

What to do? What to do? I drove for a long time, my mind racing, not paying attention to where I was going. All I wanted to do was get away for a few minutes to think without any Robs in my line of sight. I soon found myself on some country road just outside the city limits. It was the safest place to be if I wanted to avoid people, especially men. As I drove along, my mind racing, trying to find some rational explanation, I noticed someone walking up ahead…a hitchhiker, maybe? I never picked them up and I wasn’t planning to now. As I passed him, I wasn’t sure if I’d been expecting it, or afraid of it, but even the hitchhiker looked like Rob.

 

A part of me wanted to stop and pick up this “Rob-a-like” hitchhiker but I was too damned scared. The funny thing was that I didn’t know what I was afraid of most…all the Robs, or the fact that I was surely losing my mind. With a final glance in my rearview mirror at the gorgeous Rob hitchhiker and, admittedly, a small sigh of regret, I knew what I had to do. I headed back into town to check myself into the hospital. The closer I got to town, the less sure I was that I could actually do this, especially not under the term ‘mental illness’. One thing was for sure, if there was a voice of reason anywhere, I could find it in my other best friend, Rita! I was supposed to be on a week’s vacation from work but I decided to go into the office and see her. No one could pull the wool over Rita’s eyes and she was just as Rob crazy as I was, if not more so. If she wasn’t seeing Rob everywhere, then I’d know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was totally bonkers. I stopped at our favorite coffee shop to buy two very strong coffee’s cause, one way or another, one of us was going to need it! I approached the counter and placed my order as I dug through my purse for money. I was running the conversation I was about have with Rita through my head, trying to figure out how to tell her that either I was crazy or…or…or what? There was no other explanation for it. Oh, well. At least I could tell her good-bye before they carted me off to the looney bin.

“That’ll be four dollars, ma’am,” I heard the cashier say. I finally found my wallet at the bottom of my bag and handed him a five.

By now, I wasn’t even surprised to see another Rob! I swear, if I wasn’t going insane and terrified of what that meant, I’d be thrilled to see all these gorgeous Rob’s running around. As it was, though, I grabbed the two coffees and left.

On my way up in the elevator, I still hadn’t decided how to tell Rita I’d developed a serious case of Rob-delusion. She’d never believe me. I refused to look at anyone on my way to her cubicle, afraid of what I would see. I sat her coffee on her desk, gaining her attention.

“Rita, I need your help,” I said, sitting on the corner of her desk.

“RF, what are you doing here?” she asked, looking up.

“I think I am going insane,” I replied.  She was used to my dramatics by now so the statement was no surprise to her.

“Speaking of insane, did you see the new intern on your way in? He looks just exactly like Rob!” she grinned, with a wink.

“What?”I exclaimed. I’d just about convinced myself that I was going insane and, by now, I had really just come to tell her good-bye.

“Yeah! Come on, I’ll introduce you,” she said, grabbing me by the wrist and dragging me down to his cubicle. She was completely ignoring my protests.

“Gary, I’d like you to meet RF. RF this is Gary the new intern,” she said beaming.

“Hey, RF! It’s nice to meet you!” he said, extending his hand.

Knowing Rita was seeing him, too, made me realize I wasn’t the one who was wrong… they were! All of them. They were perfect replicas of Rob and yet their very existence was wrong. Fascinated, but still a little afraid for different reasons, I shied away from his touch and stood slightly behind my friend.

“Hey, Gary. You been in town long?” I asked shyly.

“Uh, no,” he said awkwardly. Not knowing what to do with his offered and rejected hand, he let it drop. “I actually just got here.”

“You…you look a little familiar. Where,… Where are you from?” I asked. Rita snorted when I’d said he looked a little familiar.

“Oh, here and there. I’ve been all over the place, lately.”

I literally choked at that statement. When I had regained my composure, I made my excuses to get away.

“Um, nice to meet you Ro…err…Gary. If you’ll excuse us, I really need to talk to Rita a…about a new project.” I said, pushing her back in the direction of her cubicle since she was too busy laughing at me for almost calling him Rob to care.

“Is anyone else seeing this?” I asked, once we were back in her cubicle.

“What, the fact that ‘RobsFan~tasy’ is too shy to touch a Rob-a-like? I doubt it!” she giggled.

“No, damn it! The fact that there is a sudden explosion of Rob-a-likes everywhere!” I whispered very loudly.

“What are you talking about?”

“The UPS man, the mailman, the crazy old man down the street, the fire men, the paramedics. Carrie’s son Thomas, they all look just like Rob!”

“You’re loosin’ it, girlfriend. You’re spending too much time on your RobPorn…”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought too until you introduced me to Gary over there as a Roba-like. That means you see them too!”

“C’mon RF, I’ve met Thomas too! He doesn’t look anything like Rob!” she said.

It was obvious she thought I was trying to pull a fast one on her. I wasn’t opposed to the occasional practical joke, but there is no way I could pull this off!

“He does now!” I said emphatically.

“I think you need this vacation more than we thought. Why don’t you go home, get some rest, and stay away from RobPorn for a while, okay?” Rita advised.

“Okay, I will if you can tell me honestly… have you seen any other Rob-a-likes today?”

“No, of course not!” she said adamantly.

“Excuse me, ladies,” came a very familiar voice from behind us.

We turned to see a very young janitor reaching for Rita’s trash can.

He looked like a very young Rob… like Cedric Diggory from Harry Potter and the Goblet of fire. I watched with a smile as he emptied the paper from Rita’s trash can and then returned the can to its place beside her desk. After he walked away, I reached across her desk, put my hand under her chin, and closed her mouth for her. I knew exactly how she felt.

“Believe me now?” I asked.

When she finally regained her composure, we talked for a while about what to do. Rita couldn’t leave her desk or she’d lose her job, so we agreed I would walk to the grocery store a few blocks away to get a newspaper and see if there was anything in the news about all the Robs. In the meantime, I would keep my eyes peeled for any more Rob-a-likes. After I got the afternoon edition of the newspaper, I would return to her office and we’d take it from there.

As I walked down the street to the store, I kept reminding myself to smile and be polite if I saw any Rob-a-likes. There was no point in drawing attention to myself until we found out what the feck was going on. I was doing pretty well until I happened to be looking in just the right spot at just the right time. I looked up and saw a Rob-a-like coming out of an alley. He was straightening his clothes as though he’d just gotten dressed. I must have looked startled because he looked right at me and frowned as he began walking purposefully towards me.

 

He continued to stare straight at me, all the while getting closer and closer. I panicked and darted across the street to get away from him. I managed not to look behind me until I was safely just outside the grocery store. If he was there, I was going to rush inside and call the police, telling them I was being followed. Taking a deep breath and working up the courage, I turned to look for him but he was gone. I sighed with relief, deciding to go into the store anyway and see if there were any more Robs before I bought a newspaper from the newsstand.

…To be continued tomorrow…

Much love to you all,

RobsFan~tasy

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Filed under Because he gives us a Reason to smile., Because I CAN!, in my dreams, Just For Shizz and Giggles, Monday Madness, Thrill Me Thursday, We All Go A Little Mad Sometimes, WTF?

Monday Madness~Thrill Me Thursday 4 Part Series Part 1!

A/N:  This is the kind of weirdness you get from chatting with Rita! Once one of us gets an “ah ha” idea, the other one eggs it on like you wouldn’t believe! Well, here…lemme show you what that crazy woman double-dog dared me to do!

It was a day like any other…or so it seemed this beautiful autumn morning. I woke up, stretched, yawned, and dealt with a few essential human moments before getting dressed. Satisfied that I looked my best, I headed to the kitchen, my heart set on an omelet for breakfast. I gathered all the fixings, started the coffee pot and got started on my masterpiece. The bacon was frying, the onions were sautéing and I was chopping up some other ingredients when there was a knock on my door. Hoping it was who I thought it was, I looked out the window on my way to the door and, sure enough, a UPS {United Parcel Service} truck was parked in my driveway.  Yay! I’d ordered a few things on line and had been expecting them to arrive soon and here they were. I knew I’d have to sign for it, so I checked my face in the mirror before answering the door.

“Hi, can I help…” Holy Hell! This guy looked like just like Rob! I don’t mean a Rob look-alike, with subtle differences…no, he looked EXACTLY like Rob!

“Morning, ma’am. I have a delivery for RF?” he looked up at me questioningly. Fuck me sideways! I couldn’t get over how much he looked like a young Rob!

“Uh…yeah, I’m RF,” I stated dumbly. “Has anyone ever told you that you look like Robert Pattinson?” I asked as I signed for my packages and handed back his electronic clipboard thingy.

“Robert who?” he asked smirking at me. Oh my!

“Um, never mind. Are you new?” I asked. I couldn’t remember if I’d ever seen the UPS man around here before so I had no way of knowing for sure.

“No, ma’am. I’ve been the UPS man around here for a few years now,” he replied, biting his lip and looking at me appreciatively. Oh man! I was definitely going to have to start ordering more things on line if HE was my delivery man! Hell yeah! RobPorn delivered to my house by living RobPorn? You bet your sweet bippy!

“Okay. Well, thanks!” I said, pretending to shut the door. I couldn’t help myself…I watched that cute little ass in the dark brown slacks walk itself all the way back to the truck!

Sighing as he drove out of sight, I turned away and went back to making breakfast. As soon as I had everything done but the last pan of bacon, I set it to frying before deciding I had time to quickly check the mail. About half way down the sidewalk, I saw the mail truck drive up so I figured I’d just get my mail directly from the driver. The truck stopped at my mailbox while I was still several feet away. As I got closer, I could see that he was digging around in his mail bag. Just as I approached, he turned, saw me standing there, and smiled.

“Good Morning, ma’am. Lovely day, isn’t it?” he said cheerfully, handing over my mail with a fuckhawt smile. What. The. Fuck? I was absolutely spending way too much time perving over Rob! I was seeing him everywhere! The mailman looked like Rob’s Water for Elephants character, Jacob Jankowski!

 

“I…you…” I stammered.

“You all right, ma’am?” he asked in that velvet smooth voice I knew so well.

“Um, yeah…no. I’m fine. It’s just that you look like someone I know, that’s all,” I said trying my damnedest to stay calm.

“Do I? Well, I hope it’s someone you like,” he said with panty melting grin.

“Yeah, you could say that. You’re not my usual mailman. Are you a temp?” I asked.

“No, ma’am. You could say I’m brand new,” he snorted. Somehow I got the impression there was more behind that statement than I knew or that I wanted to know.  “You have a nice day now, ma’am,” he said, climbing back into his truck and driving off. I stood there for a minute trying to clear my head.

Tired. Yeah, that was it…I was just tired. Too many nights without enough sleep, staying up till the wee hours of the morning drooling over RobPorn while trying to come up with some fun ideas for posting on RA, and writing my fic about Rob. That’s all it was…I was thinking about him too much and my brain was tired…exhausted, really. Either that, or I was one French fry short of a Happy Meal! Okay. maybe two!

As I began my walk back to the house, I knew one thing in our neighborhood that would never change. The crazy old man living a few houses down from me watched every movement in the neighborhood through his blinds. He was paranoid and didn’t think anyone could see him through his magic blinds. Every morning when I went out to get my mail, he would be there watching. It had become a habit for me to wave at him and he would instantly shut his blinds as though, if he moved quickly enough, I wouldn’t see him when it was obvious I already had! So, as I neared his house, I looked up from my mail, smiled and waved at…Holy shit! He was there, staring out his blinds, but it wasn’t him…it was a young Rob!!!

This time, though, he didn’t duck behind his blinds and hide. He continued to stare at me, watching my every move. I ducked my head and forced myself to walk very quickly back to my house. My heart pounded out of my chest as I slammed my door shut, locked it, and fell back against it. Rob was everywhere! But that couldn’t be! It was freakin’ impossible! If I wasn’t absolutely certain I was losing my mind, it would be freakin’ awesome, but I was truly going off the deep end! I had to do something! I had to talk to someone! I grabbed my purse and drove down the street to my best friend’s house, hoping to catch her before she left for work. She’d talk some sense into me. She’d tell me I wasn’t losing my mind. She’d find a reasonable explanation.

I did my best not to panic as I made the very short drive to Carrie’s house. “You’re just tired. You’re exhausted, that’s all! Too much Rob over the past two tears. That’s the problem,” I kept telling myself over and over again. I pulled into her driveway and raced to the front door, pounding on it rather than knocking. I shuffled from foot to foot nervously as I waited for her to answer the door. Oh, God! I hope she answers the door! If a Rob answered the door in one of Carrie’s dresses, I’d run from here screaming and never stop! They’d have to lock me up in a padded cell for the rest of my life! I grew more and more anxious at the thought of a Carrie/Rob opening the door. Finally, the front door opened and my heart lunged into my throat. I was flooded with relief when I saw my friend’s familiar face.

“Oh, Carrie! Thank God it’s you!” I sobbed, throwing myself into her arms.

“RF! What in the world is the matter with you? Are you okay?” she gasped at the state I was in. Pulling back to look at me, she searched my face. “No…no, you’re not. Whatever is wrong?” she asked, ushering me inside with an arm around my shoulder.

Sitting at her kitchen table drinking strong Irish coffee with trembling hands, I told Carrie what’d been happening to me. She agreed that I’d been right in thinking that it was just exhaustion. We both concluded that I was imagining it all, spending so much time with all my Rob stuff that I was just overloading and that my mind was playing tricks on me. Feeling much better now that she’d talked some sense into me, I sat and talked to her for a few minutes while she finished making breakfast. A really bad feeling crept up my spine, for some reason.

“RF, would you please go wake up Thomas? Carrie asked, yanking me back out of my thoughts. “I’ve been calling that boy for an hour now and he just will not get up!” she said.

I made my way back to her son’s bedroom and knocked on his door. He was seventeen and a great kid…I liked him a lot. When he didn’t answer my knock, I tried again and slowly opened the door, peeking around it.

“Hey, kiddo. Your mom’s calling you” I said gently. I could see his head was completely covered by the blanket, so I entered the room intending to uncover his face and shake him awake.

“Hey, Thomas! Your mom’s got breakfast ready for you,” I said loudly, pulling the covers off his face. The sight that greeted my eyes made my blood run cold. I’d watched this kid grow up over the past few years, but he was no longer the black haired boy I knew!

He was asleep in Thomas’s bed, his face half covered by his hand, but I’d know that face and those hands anywhere and it was Rob!!!

I ran screaming from my friend’s house, jumped into my car and tore out of her drive way, leaving a bewildered Carrie staring after me from her front door.

I drove as fast as I could back to my house only to find that someone had called the fire department. Oh, God! The bacon! I had left it on! Black smoke was rolling out of my windows and there were firemen with oxygen masks going into my house. As I lunged from my car to try to get into the house, a neighbor lady grabbed me. “Everything is all right. It’s just smoke. They got here before the fire started,” she told me. I was flooded with relief! One of the firemen approached me and removed his mask.

“This your house, Ma’am?” he asked. I just stood there in open-mouthed shock. Even the fireman looked like Rob! I just nodded in response, staring at him like an idiot. I examined the face and characteristics of the fireman Rob. I knew Rob’s every expression, every look…I knew the sound of his voice better than I knew my own. I had seen his face and heard his voice multiple times every day for 2 years now and there was absolutely no difference!

“You really should be more careful, Ma’am. It’s lucky we got here in time. A grease fire can be very dangerous,” he was saying to me.

I covered my mouth with my hand to stifle the hysterical giggle threatening to escape. It was true…I’d lost my mind completely. I was going mad and there was nothing that could stop it.

“Joe,” he hollered, “Call the ambulance! I think she’s in shock or something.”

Joe came from inside my house and removed his facemask. Oh, big surprise! He looked like Rob, too! By now, I was giggling hysterically.

“Going to the hospital? Oh, goody! Maybe they could help before I totally lost my shit! Oh wait, it was too late for that,” I thought and started giggling all over again.

One of the Robs opened my car door and sat me down in the driver’s seat with my legs out of the car while they used their radio to ask for an ambulance. The UPS guy, the mailman, the old man down the street, Thomas, and now these two…all of them looked like Rob, at various different points in his life. Not one of them over the age of twenty six, which was Rob’s current age. I looked around, seeing my neighbor lady talking to fireman Joe and quite obviously enjoying the view. The nameless fireman was looking back at the house, giving directions to the ambulance.

Except for the fact there were so many Robs around, everything else seemed normal. I quickly ran a mental check: I knew my name, age, address, the date and year. Would I know all that, or be this rational, if I was losing my mind? I didn’t think so. Now that I’d had a few minutes to think about it all, I’d calmed down. Something just wasn’t right, but I honestly didn’t think I was the one that was wrong. I quietly pulled my feet into the car and shut the door quickly, locking all four doors with the automatic door locks. The two firemen descended on the car telling me I’d be okay… that I shouldn’t drive in my condition. I paid them no attention and peeled away, leaving hot stripes of black rubber in my wake.

…To be continued… 😛

Much love to you all,

RobsFan~tasy

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Filed under Because he gives us a Reason to smile., Because I CAN!, Friends, in my dreams, Just For Shizz and Giggles, Monday Madness, Thrill Me Thursday, We All Go A Little Mad Sometimes, Writing, WTF?

Monday Madness…TR&TD Edits/manips

Hello Everybody *waves*

RobsFan~tasy

This Post is Positively NSFW!!!

I’ve had this post planned for some time now. And as I promised eeweee333 last week here it is!

I have a friend on FB friend known as Therose Andthedragon and she had tagged me in some of the most amazing edits and manips. Flove them! I’ll start out relatively safely and increase to Gutter mode as I go along but just in case you didn’t see my warning above this post is NSFW! 

I LOVE this first pic. Rob looks pissed and with it all being in B&W except his eyes it looks like he will jump right off the screen to devour you!

Uh RRoP Mr Pattinson sir? uh ok!
“click it” to make it bigger!

This one just Floored me when I logged onto my FB page and saw this Beauty staring back at me! Hot Damn! Thank You TH&TD!!! I could think up a great one shot based on this pic alone! What is it about a man in a vest? It’s so hot and yet you just want to rip it right off of him. Especially when “Him” is Rob!!!

Those two pics were great but ya know I think Rob has too many layers on lets see if we can remedy that shall we?

Tattward is always a WIN!

That’s Better 🙂 but I still want to see more don’t you? {DUH!}

Oh the heavenly Happy Trail! THUD!

Heavenly Happy Trail indeed! and What is with the “A” Tattoo? That wouldn’t happen to stand for Angel now would it eewee333? When most people think of Rob as an angel it usually conjures up images like This one…

Angelward!

 

Angelward is great but when I think of Rob as an Angel my mind goes more along this train of thought…

Oh My! What BIG Wings you’ve got there ROB!!! hehehe

Awww I can’t help it! I’m a pervy hOOr where Rob is concerned! Oh Wait I forgot we were undressing Rob weren’t we? Well I think we should get back to that!!!

*DED* FL_________

And last but Absolutely NOT least TR&TD blessed me with this final Manip which I FLOVE!!!

Time to go take a LONG Shower!!!

No Seriously I meant I have to go shower now! heehee Now what did I do with that shamwow???

Much love to you all,

RobsFan~tasy

 

 

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Filed under Artistic Genius!, Breathless, in my dreams, Monday Madness, RAAWWRRR, Shamwow anyone?, Stunning, We All Go A Little Mad Sometimes

Heeey Laaaadies!

Hello Everybody *waves*

RobsFan~tasy

 

Hey Ladies as you may have noticed the posts here at RA have gotten fewer and farther between. 

 

 

I’ve been worried how you all will handle it.

Don’t worry we aren’t going Anywhere! But we do need some help.

 

Lately I’ve been wracking mah bwains to come up with different post ideas.

 

While I have in NO WAY lost my Rob Mojo {He’s still the sexiest thing alive!!} I spend hours pondering over what to post about.

Try as I might I struggle with it all the time.

After awhile I start to get really upset that I am disappointing you ladies.

One thing we pride our selves on is NOT doing what everyone else is doing. We’re here for the fun of it and for the love of Rob.

So we’re asking ya’ll if you’d like to Join the RA TEAM and post a weekly (or even an occaisional) Blog post About Robert Pattinson (or even a guest post) Please Contact us at RobAttack1@hotmail.com

Drop us a line so we can get back to our happy pervy selves!

 

Much Love to You all as always,

Love,

RobsFan~tasy

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Filed under Because he gives us a Reason to smile., Do It For ROB, Friends, Help Wanted, in my dreams, it's true, Writing