Category Archives: Just For Shizz and Giggles

Random Rita ~ When Edward’s Clever Plan Backfires!

Wet Rob Avi

Good afternoon, ladies!

Ramblin’ through my TBR this mornin’, I came across a fic I only planned on “tastin'” before snaggin’ the story I actually meant to rec today.

Silly Rita!

This author hooked me good and is busily reelin’ me in, even as we speak!

Rob Attack

COMPLETE! When Edward takes Bella into the forest to dump her, her reaction completely surprises him. Will this be the end of B&E or will they find a new path to forever? A canon-based yet very different AU approach to New Moon. Some OOC and OC.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Drama – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 53 – Words: 242,580 – Reviews: 2,360 – Favs: 1,170 – Follows: 1,094 – Updated: Jul 6, 2013 – Published: Dec 12, 2011 – Status: Complete – id: 7630525

You’d think a story about Edward dumpin’ Bella’s ass in the forest would be chock full of angsty goodness but I’m sorry…I’m laughin’ my ass off and I’m only on chapter 3!

So far, Edward does the whole “you’re just not good for me” speech expectin’ Bella to whine and beg. NOT! She gets royally pissed off and tells him what he can do with his archaic, controllin’ attitude before stormin’ off back home, leavin’ Edward with his jaw on the floor!!!

Last bit I’ve read, Bella’s at school the next day expectin’ never to see Edward or the Cullens again. NOT!

This is gonna be so much fun…you guys really need to take this trip with me!!!


Oh, and because I love you all so much…

Happy Friday, y’all!


Night Raider


Filed under Bad lip reading, Fan Fiction Recs, Just For Shizz and Giggles, Rita01tx

The Robgospel According to RF

*blows kisses*


   ~RF walks out onto the stage dressed in her Sunday best. She steps up to the podium and takes down the microphone. Returning to center stage, she begins to speak to the Robitorium in her best Southern Baptist, Gone ta Meetin’, Sunday Revival accent~


Ladies, nay, Sistahs! Sistahs, just why I have bought you here today is to tell you all somethin’ you may already know. But, I feel the need…I say, I feel the neeeed to share the Robgospel with ya’ll here today! Now you may already know that the word “gospel” means “the truth.” So, what we are talkin’ about ri’ chere is the Rob-truth, or the truth about Rob!


Can I get an A…man?

Dom Stance

Sistahs, as you know, this man has large hands and long fingers. Have Mercy! And with those hands he has reached across the lands, across nations, even unto the ends of the earth, to the young and the old, the rich and the poor, the angel and the h00r! He has touched us all!



My dear friends, who among you can say you have not looked into those multicolored eyes and not been affected by his stare? Has he not looked into that camera and made you feel his kiss?!


And, without the distraction of the rest of Rob’s gorgeous face *coughJawPorn* *coughLipPorn,* we are helplessly trapped…and lovin’ it! AMEN!!!



He has not looked upon you with that come hither stare and made you feel desiiiiired!


Yea, there is no escape from his wickedly sexy gaze…nor do we wish to! Can I get an AMEN!!!



Sistahs, I have come here today to preach to you about the power of this man and to confess to you that I know what you’re goin’ through! I have witnessed the power of his wonky legs!



I have seen those snow white fangs of his and wished that he truly was a vampire and that I, yes I, was his all too willing next victim! Are ya feelin’ me, now?



I too have looked upon those luscious lips and felt the call of seduction, Sistahs! I know! Indeed I know!

Melbie Toast Tumblr


Believe me when I say you are not alone! I have been there when the cameras have captured that sharp jawline and I have felt my knees go weak like my weight was supported on rubber bands!

Melbie Toast Tumblr


And, my Sistahs, have mercy, the man was blessed…I say he was blessed with the voice of an angel! An angel who was sent here to bring us great joy!


The man can make your soul dance!


He can make your heart sing!


He can make your legs weak!


He can bring your libido back from the dead!


Now, I know that not all of you are here in the Robitorium with me. I know that some of you are on the bus or in a carpool on your way to work takin’ the opportunity durin’ your ride to come get yours. I know some of you are already at work sittin’ in your office or in your cubicle sneakin’ the chance to peek at The Pretty when ya should be workin’. Some of you are at home sittin’ on your home computers stoppin’ in here to get your Rob fix for the day before you set about your chores, and some of you are in your beds with the lights out and your laptop or e-reader open and grabbin’ a gape at Mr. Sex on Legs before bed!

Melbie Toast Tumblr

My Sistahs, I also know you have one more thing in common…you’re all sittin’ there, wherever you may be, with your hand over your mouth tryin’ NOT to squee! Hear me now, Sistahs! Take that hand down! Are ya hearin’ me, Sistahs? Take that hand doooown and let it out! For this is the Robgospel and…


The Truth Shall Set You Free!


Much love to you all,




Filed under it's true, Just For Shizz and Giggles, Rob Pattinson


Nothing makes us Rob h00rs happier than to see him laugh…


…it’s a truly beautiful thing that warms our hearts and makes us smile! And so does today’s post, as we share with you some hilarious Twifics that make us ROFLMFAO!



*Reviews by Midnight Cougar*

Awkwardly Yours by Vancouver-Canuck-Girl 

Awkwardly Yours banner

Awkwardly Yours ~ High school Edward likes a girl named Bella, But he’s not a smooth-talking kind of fella. He has his fair share of inserting foot into mouth, And inappropriate risings down south. But he’s really kind of sweet, Even if he’s sort of a geek.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Humor – Edward & Bella – Chapters: 11 – Words: 28,939 – Reviews: 1,130 – Favs: 498 – Follows: 914 – Updated: 09-26-13 – Published: 08-02-13 – id: 9557633

Vancouver-Canuck-Girl, author of the very funny The Real Life of E A Masen, has one wicked sense of humour that I absolutely love to read, and which translates beautifully into her creative writing. She makes me smile and laugh every time she updates her newest ‘Humor’ fic, Awkwardly Yours.  It is very aptly named, IMHO, as it depicts the daily plights of an awkward, geeky, and somewhat naïve and clueless, but totally adorable 15-year-old Edward.  Not only does he make me laugh my head off at all that he goes through – poor boy can’t catch a break – and with his unfiltered ramblings and hilarious inner monologue, but he also writes the best poems in his journal at the end of each chapter.

These unique and imaginative poems highlight his day’s “adventures” and how he – a horny, teenage boy – perceives them. After what his older brother, Jasper, named “Mastur-Gate 2013,” let’s take a look at chapter one’s poem to see how it all played out…


“Like I often did, I pulled my journal out from its hiding spot and scribbled out a poem. Journal, not diary – just wanted to make that clear. Yeah, it’s sort of nerdy but it’s nice to have a place I can vent, ya know?

Tonight I got caught jerking off

All because I didn’t hear my mother knock.

Now my sister wants her lotion back

But I need when I have the urge to whack.

And damn it, I didn’t even get to finish

But now my boner has now diminished.

Fuck my life

And all its strife.


Oh, dear Edward, you are too cute. So funny, and it only gets better and funnier as he begins to act on the crush he has developed for Bella, his sister Rose’s best friend. When he finally gets a chance to talk to Bella – the object of his affections both in and out of the bedroom (remember he is 15 *wink*) – he just can’t seem to reel it in, but then he is shopping for tampons for his sister…

Excerpt from chapter 3


Oh God, please don’t let that be—

“Bella! Hi. What brings you to the feminine hygiene aisle?”


“I mean how neat that you and Rosalie are cycle buddies.”

Seriously, how the fuck does my brain come up with that shit? ‘Cycle Buddies’? Really? Even if I knew Jasper and I were jerking off at the same time, I’d never call him my ‘Beat-off Brother’.

“Actually, I’m here getting a slurpee.” There was a smirk playing on her lips when she answered me.

I dropped the box of cooter corks like a hot potato.

“Yeah, me too. I was just here browsing.”

Bella called my bluff.

“You were browsing super absorbency tampons on a Saturday morning?”

I shrugged, trying to feign innocence. “I’ve always been curious about the different brands and stuff. They have scented tampons over at Fred Meyer. I don’t know if it’s mint or peach or something different. I’ll have to do more research. Do you know they make something called a ‘Diva Cup’? It’s durable and reusable. You should look into it. You could save yourself some money in the long run.”

I begged myself to shut up. Was it too much to ask that just once I could come across as cool?

Bella stood there, sipping on her slurpee, and let me ramble.

“You’re certainly a wealth of tampon information.”

I grinned. “Just call me Edward ‘The Tampon’ Cullen.”


Bella laughed. “Okay, then. I should get going. Tell Rosalie I’ll call her later.”

“Yeah, okay sure. Don’t forget to research the Diva cup before your next—”

Shut up!

Shut up!

Shut the fuck up!

“—never mind. Bye, Bella.”

“Bye, Edward ‘The Tampon’ Cullen.” Her using air quotes made me want to die.

I think I’d want to die, too, Edward… Shakes my head, smiling; I just can’t stop laughing, although I do kind of get second-hand-embarrassed for him! LOL This lighthearted WiP, which updates regularly, is one you’ll want to read as you’ll get to delight in a well-written, laugh-filled story with endearing characters and a most lovable, hilarious Edward!


Penal Code by FictionFreak95

Penal Code by BellaFlan

Penal Code banner

Penal Code ~ COLLABORATION with BELLAFLAN: Undercover Cop Edward Cullen wants some excitement on his beat. Bella, whom he mistakenly thinks is a hooker, desperately needs to snap out of her funk. How deep is Edward willing to go undercover to get the girl? AH, BxE

Rated: Fiction M – English – Humor/Romance – Bella & Edward – Chapters: 11 – Words: 39,189 – Reviews: 1,409 – Favs: 1,233 – Follows: 1,061 – Updated: 11-06-12 – Published: 01-03-12 – Status: Complete – id: 7706291

While I’ve mentioned Penal Code a few times over the last couple years in different posts, I knew I had to include it today as we talk about fics that make us laugh, because I can honestly say that this fic is one of the funniest I have ever read – I really did LMAO! This incredibly humorous short story was originally submitted to the Fandom for Texas Wildfire Relief but was then, to our great reading pleasure, extended, providing more laughs and crazy antics involving our beloved couple.

We must first heed the authors’ warning: “Please note the word “come” also appears as “cum” depending on the POV.”  I am laughing already just reading that and writing this review, thinking back to when I first read Penal Code. I can guarantee that after you read this amusing gem you will never look at a Pudding Cup the same way again, because when Undercover Copward’s night of adventure begins as a “John” and he meets “Bella cum-Swan” but mistakenly takes her for a “hooker”…things get…messy as they share some fun times together…

Watching Bella eat pudding was like watching a porn movie. She licked that cup dry, and I wondered if that was part of her gig – getting a guy horny and hard over pudding and then sucking him dry, hour by hour.

I could get on board with that.

And when I say “sucking him dry” I obviously meant money … although, I’m guessing she could suck me dry the other way too. She definitely had some tongue skills with that spoon, I’d noticed.

I wanted to be that spoon.

I wanted to punch that spoon in the nuts, actually, and take its place.

Sorry spoon, but you’re out.

Alas, though, as Bella began to scrape the final remnants of chocolate flavored gelatin from the plastic cup she’d been having an intimate relationship with, her eyelids grew heavy, and before I could offer to walk her home, or… back to her pimp’s place, her head fell.

Her nose landed square into the pudding cup, forcing what was left of her snack outward in a climactic spray of chocolate that speckled her face.

I was wrong. I didn’t want to be the spoon after all. I wanted my jizz to be the pudding.


*spoon and jizz, I mean, pudding cup*

Oh, Edward, you do make me laugh…you perv! *grins* Read on, my friends, and have a great, memorable laugh! (FictionFreak95’s posting) (BellaFlan’s posting)


Suit Up by Marvar 

WINNER in the Make Me Laugh Anonymous Twific Contest


PUBLIC VOTE: First Place: Suit Up by Marvar


JUDGE’S VOTE: First Place: Suit Up by Marvar

Suit Up ~ Bella watches swim god Edward Masen from afar. What happens when he gets close enough to touch? My entry for the Make Me Laugh Contest. First place in Public vote and the Judges’s pick.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Humor/Romance – Edward & Bella – Chapters: 2 – Words: 6,882 – Reviews: 252 – Favs: 361 – Follows: 305 – Updated: 08-13-13 – Published: 08-04-13 – id: 9562781

Marvar has written some marvelous Romance/Humour in the Twific realm, she really rocks the funny, and she’s done it again with Suit Up, which was her entry for the Make Me Laugh Contest – it won First place in Public vote and First Place for the Judges’ pick. She used Prompt #13:

Prompt 13The story is set in university, where medical student Bella Swan is taking her anatomy classes outside the classroom and into the…pool area? Oh, this should be good! LOL

I blame my current obsession with water sports on last year’s summer Olympics. Seeing all those speedo-clad hotties with the great pecs and abs made me curious enough to attend the swim meets at my own university. The athleticism, and let’s face it, the attractiveness of the men, made the meets exciting. In more ways than one.

Because that’s where I saw him.

And I couldn’t help myself from falling. (For him – not on the floor like a klutz. I’m very coordinated.)

Unfortunately, he didn’t fall.

Like for me or on me. Either one would work, honestly.

But I’d really prefer both.

*nods head* ‘cause I’m sure we’d all agree; right, ladies? And as Bella discusses her biological study specimen, with her best friend Alice, they try to decide:

“Geez…is he for real?” she asks in awe. “He can’t be human.” . . .

Edward glides through the water, muscles rippling and stretching, every stroke long and strong.

Fuck. Me. This is water porn.

“Bella? I think you’re drooling.” Yeah, I’m wet somewhere…but it’s not my chin.

I shrug. “I freely admit that his ass is fine. Though his abs and crotch deserve to be cradled with the same care and adoration. His speedo is like a frame on a work of art.”

“You have no shame.”

“I am a student of anatomy, Alice. His is flawless. Though I’m going by my observations from a distance. I’d really like to examine him close up,” I say dreamily. “And maybe sniff him.” 

Ah, yes, wouldn’t we all, Bella, but then she’d have to actually meet and get close to him…which may just happen when he comes into the suit shop – Urban Couture – where she works, which so happens to be owned by his aunt Esme Cullen. But I’ll let you read that for yourself, and see what happens when Bella fits Speedoward for a suit! Not only is it funny but…Edward is a suit? *swoon* …what I wouldn’t give to be the one measuring Edward’s long inseam. *grins* Enjoy!


*Reviews by Cared*

Both of my rec’s today are Oldies but Goldies that I’m excited to share with the newer members of the fandom. They make me laugh as much today as when I read them as WIPs – I can’t give a better recommendation than that!

How to Win Back the Love of Your Existence by Missypooh

*Made by Salix Caprea*

*Made by Salix Caprea*

How to Win Back the Love of Your Existence ~ It’s 4 years after Edward leaves Bella. There are no werewolves. Bella & Jake were never more than friends. Bella has grown up, graduated from College, has a boyfriend & is moving back to Seattle to attend Law School when her path crosses Edward’s. EPOV

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Humor – Bella & Edward – Chapters: 47 – Words: 124,122 – Reviews: 3,474 – Favs: 1,831 – Follows: 936 – Updated: 08-06-10 – Published: 03-23-10 – Status: Complete – id: 5838734

This funny, sweet story is set four years after vampire Edward left Bella so she would have a chance at a normal, happy, human life.

Edward is still opinionated, uptight, sexually repressed and old-fashioned; he believes only he knows what’s best for Bella, but there is no denying he is also a gentleman and utterly adorable. Of course, he is still completely captivated by Bella – the love of his existence.

They meet in an airport purely by chance while waiting to board the same plane. Unfortunately for Edward and his broken, dead heart, Bella has moved on with her life as he requested, and upon landing, he is forced to witness her reunion with her live-in boyfriend.  Needless to say, 112-year-old Edward considers said doctor boyfriend to be too old and unworthy…in fact, he believes him to be a sexual deviant guilty of corrupting naive Bella, and will allow it to continue over his already dead body!  It’s a more palatable option for him than to believe his innocent Bella enjoys a sex life outside marriage.  Poor clueless Edward!

Edward justifies inserting himself back into her life as he believes Bella once again needs to be saved, and naturally he is the man…err…vampire for the job. There is only one way for him to do that – he needs to win back the love of his existence.  Poor hapless Edward!

I’d be remiss not to mention the hindrance help given by the Cullen family.  Who needs the Kama Sutra when Emmett had a Dr. Ruth persona buried inside just waiting for the opportunity to burst forth with advice of a sexual nature? LOL

I sigh in resignation.

Edward, believe it or not Emmett does know what he’s talking about. He has even given me good pointers. Listen to him. Jasper’s thoughts surprise me as I had never imagined Jasper wanting or needing advice in that area. Wow, I guess I am lucky I am learning from an expert, I think wryly. 

“Now you have two primary areas you have to simultaneously focus upon. The first is the clit, or as I like to call it her love button. Do you know what that is?”

“Yes,” I huff. “It is slang for the clitoris which is…”

“Please Edward spare us the medical lecture. And for god’s sakes definitely spare Bella the lecture. You will have a better chance in Orlando of eating Minnie Mouse’s pussy than Bella’s if you start spouting that medical jargon crap.”

“Where was I?”

“Now, the second area that is going to require a lot of attention is her… vagina. Emmett’s thoughts reveal pride in his using the correct term. “Or as I like to call it her honey pot.” Emmett is mentally congratulating himself for cleaning up his language. See Edward you don’t have the monopoly on being a gentleman.

“To make sure we understand each other, Jasper is going to show you a picture so you can use your finger and visualize as I describe the steps that should be followed.” And with vampire speed, there is a picture of a naked woman with her legs and labia spread for all of the world to see. I don’t think I have ever been so mortified…except maybe after my unfortunate bookstore incident.

“Okay, touch the love button.” I mumble “idiot” but touch it as I figure that is the quickest way to get through this part. “Very good. Now the honey pot.” I trace a circle around the entrance of the woman’s vagina. “Excellent. Now let’s talk about a woman’s juices.”

*Made by Squarepancake*

*Made by Squarepancake*

For further shenanigans from this crazy gang, read the sequel – very eloquently entitled – How to Get Your Balls Back!

*Made by Salix Caprea*

*Made by Salix Caprea*

How to Get Your Balls Back ~ It’s been nearly two years since we last saw the recently engaged Bella and Edward. The proverbial honeymoon period of their relationship is coming to an end and with that, some deep seated problems with their relationship are starting to surface. Edward has a hard time telling Bella no–even when he should. Throw in some of those other things that all couples have to get over, i.e. jealousy inducing admirers, differing tastes in music and politics, horny bisexual friends, and a fight for dominance in the bedroom, and you have the background in which Edward is going to have to figure out HOW TO GET YOUR BALLS BACK. EPOV.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Humor/Romance – Edward & Bella – Chapters: 21 – Words: 59,098 – Reviews: 1,562 – Favs: 742 – Follows: 586 – Updated: 05-27-11 – Published: 09-02-10 – Status: Complete – id: 6292785

I have moved closer to Bella during our exchange. She stands up quickly and raises her hand. I realize she is intent on slapping me. 

I catch her right hand easily before it even comes close to my face. I hang onto her wrist and bend down, speaking through clenched teeth. “Don’t try that again, or you’ll regret it, Bella.” 

Her eyes widen, and I watch them glaze over with lust. We are both breathing heavy. She suddenly launches herself at me, wrapping her free arm around my neck and pulling me toward her, kissing me unabashedly. I pull back, and after briefly gazing at her swollen lips and hooded eyes, shove her down onto the bed.

Bella and I have never had angry sex, but unless I am mistaken, that is about to change.

Oh Edward! Be still my beating heart!


Midnight Desire by Twilightzoner

*Made by Debussy*

*Made by Debussy*

Midnight Desire ~ An All Human parody of Midnight Sun. AH, AU and consequently OOC. No blood lust – just uncontrollable human lust. Smut filled fun . . .

Rated: Fiction M – English – Parody/Romance – Edward & Bella – Chapters: 26 – Words: 89,654 – Reviews: 5,281 – Favs: 6,649 – Follows: 3,264 – Updated: 07-01-10 – Published: 07-13-08 – Status: Complete – id: 4392180

A/N: It was said of early vampire books and movies that vampirism was simply a thinly disguised substitute for sex. Back in the day, the entire genre was considered extremely risqué. With that in mind, this is an ALL HUMAN parody of Midnight Sun replacing all the vampirism with sexuality – no blood lust – just extreme human lust. Serious SMUT warning. You have been warned . . .

This story is written with tongue firmly in cheek – metaphorically speaking, that is. You will get a giggle from this highly irreverent parody if you leave your standard fic expectations behind and allow yourself to see the world through the eyes of an extremely horny 17-year-old boy.

This sweet Edward is both academically gifted and privileged; he prides himself on being in control of his life and body…that is until a beautiful, caring and enthralling new student arrives in town.

Imagine if you will, how the Biology Room scene would have played out with Edward’s bloodlust replaced by plain old human lust…

My mind grasped all this in a moment, and my body involuntarily started reacting at the same time. For the first time in my life, I was instantly and fully aroused by the mere glimpse of a woman. I couldn’t believe it. It was intolerable—unacceptable—and utterly humiliating. I simply couldn’t feel this way. But here I was, sitting in class suddenly finding myself with a raging erection. I moved my chair closer to the desk in terror that someone would notice, my hands convulsively gripping the edge of the wood. Apparently I was unable to smooth the stunned and horrified expression from my face before Bella sat down next to me, because whatever word of polite greeting she was about to say died on her lips, and she looked quickly away. She flipped her hair over her shoulder to give herself something to hide behind. She must have thought I was deranged. I felt like I was.

The look of apprehension in her eyes as she sat down had simply added to her appeal. She carried herself with an alluring sense of vulnerability. It ignited some primitive yet indefinable response deep within me. Her delicious scent also called to me—she smelled like ripe strawberries. It intoxicated my senses. The blood pulsed in my groin and I bit my lip to prevent myself from groaning aloud. This was ridiculous! How could this nothing, this woman-child, affect me so much?

I wanted to push my chair back from the desk so I could look at her surreptitiously, but I was afraid doing so might expose my…lack of control. There was no way I could study her to my satisfaction sitting right next to her—it would be far too obvious. Eventually I grabbed a binder and strategically positioned it in my lap, allowing me to hide my condition as I pushed my chair away from the desk. I could then at least drink in certain parts of her anatomy without notice.

Her chestnut hair was long—almost to her waist. It looked thick and silky and I yearned to touch it, longed to grab a fistful of it to position her head just so. Her fingers were delicate, and I couldn’t help imagining what they would feel like wrapped around a certain part of my now unpredictable anatomy. I bit my bottom lip again, practically drawing blood this time. The skin of her arms looked pale and soft and so womanly. From my current vantage point, I could see the full curve of one breast, straining against the fabric of her T-shirt. I closed my eyes and visualized the sensitive pink nipple that would adorn the peak, my tongue persuading it to come to full life in my adoring mouth. My eyes traveled down to her slim waist, and I imagined my hands grasping her to me, sliding down to her perfect rear, and pressing her into my erection. I had to catch myself before my breathing became labored. I glanced quickly around the room to see if anyone noticed my discomposure.

Now that I had memorized what I could see of her, my mind took a darker path. What would it take, I wondered, to get Isabella Swan to be alone with me? Could I use those good looks I so often disdained to lure her away? It wasn’t rape that I was thinking of—that held no appeal for me whatsoever. But thoughts of…seduction—yes, seduction, that was it—filled my mind. Not taking her against her will, but bending her to my will. I visualized myself holding her wrists above her head in one hand, while my other hand and my mouth elicited involuntary moans and gasps of pleasure, her body helplessly writhing under mine—all intellect and reason lost in sensation. I would fill her completely, and she would scream my name at her ecstatic release. My groin pulsed and I shifted uncomfortably in my chair.

I suddenly felt like a monster. I was insane. That was the only explanation. I had somehow, and for no apparent reason, simply gone insane in the last forty-five minutes. I would undoubtedly need to be committed. How had I gone from an almost asexual creature to a raving fiend in one afternoon? Class was almost over—thank you God. I hadn’t heard a single word that was said—not that it really mattered. I had to get out of here. I had to get away from Isabella Swan. She flipped her hair off of her shoulder and her luscious scent hit me again. Was she taunting me? My flagging erection stood at full mast again.

Edward’s inner monologue and the various ridiculous – completely ineffective – plans that he repeatedly forms, not to mention his endless sexual fantasies, are chuckle worthy as he is forced to take matters into his own hands – pun definitely intended! Their amusement value is only surpassed by that of the adorable and determined Monster. When I read this as a WIP, he had his own fan club, deservedly so, as the long-suffering Monster may nearly lose his mind at times but he never loses his sense of humour.


Midnight Desire is not only funny; it’s also sweet and romantic, and, IMHO, very cleverly written, giving the reader an all-around fun and enjoyable read.

Note: The continuation or “extras” from Midnight Desire is called RPG’s (Role Playing Games ;)) – link is here.


Now that we’ve shared what makes us laugh and smile as we read, we’d love it if you’d tell us what fics make you laugh out loud!

The FicSix


*what a beautiful sight indeed*


Filed under Bella Swan/Cullen, Edward A M Cullen, Fan Fiction Friday, Fan Fiction Recs, FFF Library, FFF Posts, Just For Shizz and Giggles, Robert Pattinson, Twilight, Writing

Sensual Sunday ~ Excuse Me, Butt…!

Wet Rob Avi

You know what, ladies?

You’re just gonna have to ride this out with me ’cause, much as I love Rob’s beautiful face, my perv is all about his lower half at the moment LOL!

‘Fraid so!  You see…                       tumblr_mmoaypWjct1r7rghpo1_500

The way that sweet butt sways back ‘n forth in those jeans…hypnotic!


The tighter the jeans, the better…hell’n we almost have crackage!


Yeah, I just put this one in ’cause it’s so freakin’ cute LOL!


Now, some of Rob’s jeans just don’t fit right…looks like he ain’t even got an ass in some of them…


Maybe it’s the fashion {or was at the time}….


but a good pair of jeans are supposed to make your butt look gooood!


And these?


just DON’T!


Sexpenders were a vast improvement while they lasted…not long enough, right?


Then again, we all know that jeans fit just fine when you first put them on…


but loosen up the longer you wear them!


Now THIS is more like it…nice tight jeans huggin’ Rob’s sweet tush!


See? They were so tight his boxers got squeezed out the top like toothpaste LMAO!!!


Basically, pants flatter Rob’s ass better than most of the jeans he wears!


Who doesn’t love to see is that ass sittin’ snug inside a fabulous pair of designer pants?


Uh, OK…these are probably NOT Gucci pants LOL!


But, oh…


when he’s wearin’ just the right suit…


Poetry shall be written in honor of Rob’s butt!


All right, dirty limericks, then LOL


Yup, a view from the back is sometimes…not always…as good as the front LOL


Chris musta thought his ass looked pretty fine in Tokyo that day LOL!


Again, just ’cause he’s so adorkable when he tumbles head over heels…showin’ his ass!


Pfffft! Like I’d forget! Thanks, Sally, for the gorgeous Birthday edit!

Happy Sunday, y’all!


Night Raider


Filed under Cannes, Cosmopolis, Happy Birthday!!!, Just For Shizz and Giggles, New Moon, Rita01tx, Robert Pattinson, Sensual Sunday, Twilight

Who’s Your Paddy?


Top O’ tha Mornin’ to Ya!

Nope, it ain’t St. Patrick’s Day…yet, but I didn’t want to deprive you all of Rita’s lovely Sensual Sunday post!

Till then, let me entertain you with some St. Robby loveliness made by Mississippibellalis!

These 3 Robnips have never been seen before today so I guess it’s true what they say…the Irish really are lucky LOL!



Oh, Baby! I’ll be your Patti, your Sally, your Margaret, or anyone else you want me to be!


Now that’s one rainbow I really wanna ride!


We love you too Rob!

Oh look! I got my wish! *tee hee*


So, here’s to Rob’s safe return and a…
Happy (early) St. Patrick’s Day!!
Basic RGB
Best of luck to you all!




Filed under Because I CAN!, Happy St. Patrick's Day, Just For Shizz and Giggles, Rob Pattinson

Monday Madness ~ Robert in Wonderland – Part 2

*blows kisses*


Rob in Wonderland – Part 2

Rob stared at the now empty branch where the Cheshire Cat had just been.


Obviously, the only way he was ever going to find RF and get out of this crazy, mixed-up place was to take the Cat’s advice and talk to the mad hatter, he headed down the road marked “The Mad Hatter.”

He’d only gone a little ways when he heard angry words between the Mad Hatter and the March Hare. It was a ridiculous argument over “Why was a Raven like a Writing Desk?”


Rob wanted no part of that so he took a detour down a different road marked “The Queen’s Palace.” Being British, and accustomed to a Monarchy, he hoped the Queen could help him find RF.

Just inside the palace gates (attended by a sleeping guard), Rob was stunned to hear RF’s voice and it sounded like she was in trouble. He started running…


“This is the last straw! I’ve put up with a lot of crazy today! First I lose Rob, then I end up here playing an absurd game of croquet, and now the Queen wants me beheaded! Well, I don’t care what the Queen says….get your hands off me!”


“OFF With HER HEAD!” cried the Queen in the distance.


“The Queen demands we take off your head!” they cried, trying to grab her.

“RF! What the hell is going on here?” Rob says, running towards her. “Where have you been? I’ve been looking everywhere for you…you wouldn’t believe what I’ve gone through!”

“Oh, believe me, I’ve had my hands full, as well! What happened, Rob? How did we end up here? Please…help me deal with these idiots so we can get out of here!” RF pleads.

They both set about knocking the cards down and as the cards try to shuffle back into place RF and Rob run away to safety.

Rob stops her by the rose bushes for a moment to hug her cause he’s so glad he found her. “I thought I’d never see you again!”


“We don’t have time for this…do you know the way out?”

“No, but I was told to look for someone called the Mad Hatter. Maybe he can help.”

Mad Hatter pops out from behind the giant mushroom “Did I hear someone call my name?”

RF-among the shrooms

“Yes, the Caterpillar told me you might be able to help us! Do you know how we can get home?”

“Pardon our manners, I’m RF and this is Rob. We’d really appreciate any help you could give us!”

“Well, now! As it turns out, I’m having a tea party. You should attend! I’m sure one of my guests might have a suggestion. It’s worth a try, don’t you think? Of course, you’ll have to shrink before we get there or you won’t fit at the table heheheh!”

“RF, we can do this! I have some kind of weird mushroom in my pocket that will shrink us. Wanna go for it?”


“At this point, what do we have to lose?”

They each take a bite and shrink.

serving Rob for dinner by Mississippibellalis

The Mad Hatter carries them on his hat back to his Tea Party table.


Then they ate a bite from the mushroom in Rob’s other pocket and returned to their normal size where they joined in the festivities at the Tea Party.

And a merry gathering it is.


The White Mouse knows the way out, but demands a song from RF first!

RF-heart with a song

“OK! We’ve done all you’ve asked of us, now please tell us how to get home!”

” Why, there’s nothing to it, really! All you have to do to go back together is hold hands {Rob and RF hold hands}…close your eyes {Rob and RF close their eyes} say ‘Off to My Bed’…an​d count backwards from 100!”

“100…99..​.98…97..​.96…” they say together.

Then they open their eyes in RF’s bedroom at the RA Mansion! RF and Rob giggle as they close the bedroom door.

 ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥  ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥  ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥  ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥  ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥  ♥  


♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥  ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥  ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥  ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥  ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥  ♥ 


This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Much Love to you all,



I have to extend a Super HUGE Awesome THANK YOU To Mississippibellalis for making all the above “Rob in Wonderland” manips and gifs with Rob and RF in them. Her edits and graphic work helped inspire this post and as you can see She has an awesome Talent! Thank You Missi, It was a Pleasure working with you! A Special thanks also to Rita for help with the story line. You’s Da Best BB!!


Filed under Artistic Genius!, Because I CAN!, Friends, Just For Shizz and Giggles, Missing Our Boyfriend, Monday Madness, Rob Drought, Rob Pattinson

Monday Madness~ Robert in Wonderland

*blows kisses*


Oh my gosh Ladies!!!

I’ve missed a few Monday Madness posts. Hope this makes up for it!!!


You all know posting Monday Madness is my favorite thing ever, especially when I get a great idea for an “Epic” post. Well, I haven’t had an epic idea since “The Invasion of the Robs!” Ever since I wrote that one, I just keep thinking, “What can I do next?”

The answer? Rob and I are going to Wonderland!!! So, if you want to go with us, you know what you have to do…






One gorgeous summer day, RF and Rob are sitting on the meadow when RF spots a white rabbit. Being a huge sucker for bunnies, she runs after it but the rabbit disappears into the hollow of a tree.

Now, when she reaches for it, she slips and starts to fall! Rob, being the gentleman that he is, grabs her ankle to stop her and they tumble down the rabbit hole together.




The real trouble begins when Rob finally reaches the bottom only to discover that RF has vanished!

Rob finds himself in a room with a tiny door, but he’s much too large to fit through it. Searching for another way out, he spies a round, glass top table with an intricate key on it, along with a bottle that looks suspiciously like a Heinekin, only the lable says “Drink Me!”


A drink would be good right about now and it does look very cool and refreshing…

Drink me heini by Mississippibellalis

With a shrug of his shoulders,


Rob drinks…


and suddenly feels a little bit…odd!

Enhanced by Verena 108


It feels he’s shrinking, but how is that even possible?



Moments later, Rob discovers he has shrunk! Now he’s small enough to fit through the door. Unfortunately, it’s locked! Oh, noze! He looks up through the bottom of the glass top table that towers above him and sees that he’s left the tiny key to the door behind! Double Oh, Noze! Then he notices a very tiny table below the much larger one. On it is a cupcake that simply says…



Eat me? Seriously? Rob ponders the problem of the table and the key. Knowing he has no other choice…


he eats the cupake and squeezes his eyes shut in anticipation!



Now stretched back to normal, Rob quickly retrieves the key. Fortunately, there’s enough of the strange drink left to shrink back down to fit through the door. Once through the door, Rob finds himself in a beautiful garden of daisies surrouned by other flowers! In the middle of the field of daisies is a life-sized statue of…Himself!

Smexy in the Daisies by Mississippibellalis

“What in the world?” Rob says, out loud.

“Don’t you mean where in the world?” a voice asks.

“Who said that?” Rob cries. He looks around but there’s no one there! Peering at the statue suspiciously, he begins to wonder if it had spoken to him.

“Curiouser and Curiouser,” he says as he walks around the statue a few times inspecting it. It was very realistic looking  yet not quite life-like. Rob reaches out to touch it.


“DON’T DO THAT!” someone yells.

“She’ll get you if you touch her things!”

“RF doesn’t like anyone messing with her toys!”

“Who said that?” Rob asks again, looking all around.

“We said it!”

grouchy BUDS by Mississippibellalis

“We said it!”

“Talking flowers? Where am I, in OZ?” Rob asks, not believing his eyes.

WWWWH edit 028

“That’s another story entirely!” Yellow Rose cries.

“RF will not like you calling this place OZ or calling us flowers! We’re Roses!” Pink Rose states indignantly.

“RF? Do you know where she is?” Rob asks.

“Where who is?” asks Blue Rose.

“RobsFan~tasy!” Rob exclaims.

“We don’t know anyone named RobsFan~tasy! Who are you?”

“I’m Rob and I came here with RF!” Rob explained.

“You just said you didn’t know where RF is,” Yellow Rose giggles.

“And, if you are Rob, and she is your fantasy, then she doesn’t really exist, now does she?”

“Oh! forget it! I’ll find her myself! Can you tell me where I am?” Rob asks, now thoroughly annoyed.

Enhanced by Verena 175

“Well, if you don’t know where you are, how did you get here?” Pink Rose asks.

“He probably doesn’t even know where he’s been!” Yellow Rose cries.

“I bloody well know where I’ve been and I know where I’ve gone! I’ve gone ’round the bend, that’s for sure!”

“Had you gone ‘Round the Bend,’ you’d be talking to me and not those idiot flowers,” a new voice says behind him.

Francies67 007
Rob spins around…the world spinning with him…and when it stops, he’s standing in front of a mushroom that’s not much taller than he is. Upon the great mushroom sits a hookah smokin’ caterpillar!!!

“Well, since you deem them as idiotic as I do, hopefully, you’ll makes some bloody sense. Who are you?” Rob asks the caterpillar.

“Who are YOU?”  replies the caterpillar as he puffs on his hookah.

“Oh, bloody hell. You’re no better than the roses.  Don’t you think you should tell me who you are?”


“Well, if you ask me…”

“You? Who.Are.You?”


“Oh, for heaven’s sake! Do you know where I can find RF?”

“In the alphabet, of course.”

“I mean RobsFan-tasy.”

“Then you should say what you mean.”

“Can’t anyone give a straight answer around here?”

“If it’s answers you seek, the answers are in the smoke,” The caterpillar says, holding out the hookah pipe to Rob.


Rob feels a little woozy after smoking the hookah and begins to see all sorts of colors whirling around his head mixed in with the smoke.The smoke takes on the form of a cat and then transforms into along table with many chairs. It becomes a rose before finally changing into a crown. Rob doesn’t know what the images mean but has the feeling he really needs to get away from the hooka when he sees that the caterpillar transform into a multicolored butterfly. Rob climbs down from the mushroom and starts to leave when the butterfly calls out to him.

“One side makes you taller.”

“One side of what?”

“The other makes you small”

“Other side of what?”

“The mushroom, of course.”

Rob figures traveling would go much faster if he were larger than 3 inches tall, so he breaks off a piece from each side of the mushroom and stuffs them in his pocket. Then he breaks off two more pieces and, with only a little hesitation, takes a bite of one of them. He returns back to his natural size. Rob laughs at the absurdity of it all!


“Is this crazy, or what?”

There are signs everywhere. Big signs and little signs, pointing in every possible direction.

“I’ll never find RF at this rate!” he says, turning ’round and ’round, looking at all the signs. As he turns, he comes face to…uh…grin with something.

“Lose something?” the grin asks.

Loose something?"

Lose something?”

“Um, yeah…kind of. I’m looking for RF. Can you tell me which way I should go?” Rob asks as the grin grows into a Cheshire cat.

“That depends on where you want to get to.”

“Oh, well that really doesn’t matter as long as…”

“Then it really doesn’t matter which way you go,” the cat says. “Ohhhh, by the way…if you’d really like to know, she went that way.”

“Who did?”


“She did?” Rob asks, pleased that he was finally getting an answer.

“She did what?”

“Went that way!”

“Who did?”


“Who’s RF?”

“But didn’t you just say…oh, bloody hell! Just forget it!”


“However, if I were looking for an RF, I’d ask the Mad Hatter,” the cat says, pointing to a sign that read MAD HATTER. Well, the last thing Rob wanted was more madness.

“Um, no…no thank you! I, I don’t…”

“OR, there’s always the March Hare in that direction,” the cat tells him as he points in the opposite direction.

“Yes, thank you. I think I’ll go see him.”

“Of course, he’s mad too!” the cat replies.

“Noooo! I can’t take any more mad people!!” Rob exclaims.

“Oh, you can’t help that! Most everyone’s mad around here! You may have noticed that I’m not all there myself!”

Cheshire cat

“Most everyone’s mad here! You may have noticed that I’m not all there myself!”

“I’m mad. You’re mad, ” the cat goes on, not giving Rob a chance to comment.

“How do you know I’m mad?” asks Rob.

“Oh, you must be or you wouldn’t have come here.”

With that, the cat vanishes into a fit of dissolving giggles.

To be Continued…

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Much Love to you all,



 I have to extend a Super HUGE Awesome THANK YOU To Mississippibellalis for making all the above “Rob in Wonderland” manips and gifs with Rob and RF in them. Her edits and graphic work helped inspire this post and as you can see She has an awesome Talent! Thank You Missi, It was great working with you!! 

And as always I couldn’t do these Crazy posts without the Help of My girl Rita01tx. Thanks BB!! You’s da best!


Filed under Because he gives us a Reason to smile., Because I CAN!, Just For Shizz and Giggles, Missing Our Boyfriend, Monday Madness, Rob Drought, Tybert, We All Go A Little Mad Sometimes

Getting Goofy with Rob

*blows kisses*


Hey Girls, internet went down last night and refused to stay running so I missed my post. {ooopsie!} Sorry about that, but I’m back and going to put up a couple of quickie posts this week for you. This is totally just for fun but I found this pic and it struck me as so funny I wanted to see what You all would put as a caption beneath it?


Hit me with  your best shot ladies!

Much love to you all,



Filed under Because I CAN!, Just For Shizz and Giggles, Rob Pattinson

Monday Madness ~ Mad about the DERP!

Hello Everybody *waves*


Hey, hey, hey! I’m baaack, BB’s!!!

Been out forever trolling for RobGoodness and post ideas that are NOT like everyone elses!! It’s a dirty job down there in the RobGutter, but somebody has to do it, right? heheh!!

As you all know, the RA tag line is “Because he gives us a reason to Smile.” Well, with the following pics, I’m sure we will all be able to say “Because he makes us LOL!!”

Rob can be the Sexiest Beast out there, and that’s a part of his attraction, but honestly girls, it’s his ability to be completely Adorkable and Dorkalicious that draws me in just as much! Here’s the proof!


Hahahaha! I caught you! You’re all grinning just as big as Rob is, aren’t ya?



Rob’s adorkability knows no bounds…


He’s cute and cuddly and you just wanna smoosh him in a big hug, but we can’t, cause he keeps us LOLing all the time.


Only Rob could step outside looking like a homeless perv and still manage to look sooo Adorkable and Lovable!

WHOA! Rob is Excited! Wait! Wait! Wait! Did “ME” just goose him, hmmm?


I think he just did a little bit in his pants LOL!


Did one of his pervy fans just flash her boobs at him? *gigglesnort!*


Musta been a nice looking girl!


Oh, Rob! We all know you can play better than that!


With all the funny signs his fans hold up during the premiers, I can just imagine what he’s caught a glimpse of!


Oh, you’ve seen them all before? Nothing original?


Oh no you didn’t just post that picture!

Uh…sorry Rob but yeah I did!


Either Rob’s about to sneeze, or that’s his “O” face!


What’s got you so giggly, Rob?


“I have no idea!”


“Cedric! Get to the cup!”


“…Give me a kiss, From that Elvis lip, You don’t wanna miss this…” { a line from Sugarland song, All I Want to Do}


And this would probably be his exact reaction if I ever got close enough to say that to him! LOL


The Vogue, Rob? Really??


I fall off my chair laughing every time I see this one. I happens to him a lot LMAO!!


Being you is exhausting, isn’t it?


“You have no idea!”


Did you forget what the square root of Pi is, Rob?


“I forgot everything I learned in school!”


Biceps and Grins are all kinds of WIN!!! So, Rob, did you like my post?


Ummm, welll….eeerrrr…



Oh well, I tried.




Filed under Goofalicious, Just For Shizz and Giggles, Monday Madness, Rob Pattinson

Doin it differently with different dos!

Hello Everybody *waves*



In preparing for this post it didn’t take me long to realize I could stretch this out to a 32 part series! But I’m not gonna do that LOL! Yeah, I can hear the sighs of relief all over the Robuniverse. So what am I posting about you might be asking? Rob’s multiple hairdos of course!

Rob’s got more hairstyles than I ever knew!

Who woulda thought this geeky kid would grow to be the Sexiest Man Alive?

The Geek

 And then the hair got bigger than the eyebrows!

The Beatles

But he soon swung back to the other extreme.

The Buzz Cut

Talk about extreme hair cuts…I remember thinking WTF? When I saw this one.

The 50/50

Who could forget the *GASP* heard round the world when he showed up sporting this do? {Which is definitely a don’t IMHO!}

The All Gone

Before that, there was the lovely Cannes do in the “Dad Shirt!”

The Windswept

And, of course, Rita’s personal fav…

The Wet Rob

This is the best pic I could find of Rob with black hair. Most of these make Rob look like he’s actually Rob’s creepy uncle or something LOL!

The Black Raven

Rob makes a better looking werewolf than Jacob/Taylor. JS…

The Wild One

We all remember the days when Rob had a bad reputation for not washing his hair…at all!

The Unkempt

And then there is the allure of the Vampire…

The Edward Cullen

This one is just sexy as hell and ONLY ROB could get away with it!

The Cock of the Walk

And in contrast…

The Disheveled Chicken

One of my personal all time favorites…

The James Dean

This profile shot shows off his sweeping sideburns to perfection.

The Wispy Wings

And this do is part of what made Tybert so appealing.

The Soft & Fluffy

There’s something about the pic, I think it’s the flannel shirt over the T shirt, That reminds me of practically every teenage boy I knew growing up.

The Boy Next Door {if only!}

The slicked-back do of the wealthy man…

The Millionhair Do

Just recently, we saw…

The Mad Max

And the hair standing at attention…

The Mile High

Rob looks very professional with this do.

The Clean Cut

We musn’t leave out…

The Romantic

The hair says as much as the eyes do.

The Come Hither

Will there ever be anything better than is? Indeed Dear Melbie he is a sexy beast!

The Just F*cked Hair

Still in my top 5 fav pics is…

The F*ck Me Sideways!!!

I gotta say, I’m lovin this!

The Current Gorgeousness

So girls I know there lots that I missed. Got any better names for these dos than the ones I came up with? Let’s hear em! Let’ssee you hair favs and what you’d call them.

Much Love to you all,



Filed under Do It For ROB, Goofalicious, Just For Shizz and Giggles, Monday Madness, Rob Pattinson