Category Archives: Peen

Random Rita ~ When Edward’s Peen Takes a Stand!

Wet Rob Avi

Mornin’, ladies!

You know, there’s nothin’ sadder than Edward’s poor, abused peen waitin’ 100+ years for him to make a move already!

And it’s not only Edward’s peen doin’ all the sufferin’…his hands are hopelessly uninformed about female anatomy…

Rob Attack

Though we understand that it is ultimately the penis attached to Mr. Cullen that will enter and spend a great deal of time in the vagina of the woman that we are finally able to touch, we do hope to also have an opportunity to touch one. What  are the labia like? Do they hang? Are they firm? Stretchy? Can they be pinched as well?

Even Edward’s kinky feet have complaints they insist must be addressed LOL!

Rob Attack

Ve Vere zinking that ve vould very much enjoy having her little feet and toes all tied-up und under our control. Ve don’t just vant to vatch zem viggle, ve vant to vatch zem squirm.

Ve vant to control zeir pleasure und pain. Ve vant to punish zem vhen they don’t treat us vell. Ve vant to show zem how zis punishment can mean great pleasure for zem as vell as for us.

Who do you turn to for advice when nothin’ you try works?

Read Letters to the Federation of Unionized Cocks FUC by Jackie K Paper and find out!

Rob Attack

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7752918/1/Letters-to-the-Federation-of-Unionized-Cocks-FUC

Dear FUC, The cock-blocking asshole I’m attached to hasn’t let me get near a vagina in over 100 years! Isn’t there a limit that straight non-priests can go without letting their cock at some pussy? Sincerely The Virgin Cock attached to Ednonfuck Cullen.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Humor – Edward – Chapters: 5 – Words: 6,797 – Reviews: 30 – Favs: 15 – Follows: 11 – Updated: Apr 6, 2012 – Published: Jan 18, 2012 – Status: Complete – id: 7752918

~oOo~

Now, if that little jewel wasn’t *ahem* long enough *cough*, do NOT miss…

Fabulous blinkie by Rose Arcadia!

Rob Attack

the absolute classic in peen laments, which goes to…

Rob Attack

Banner by Preciousfairymom80

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6661209/1/The-Confessions-of-the-Overworked-Underpaid-Peen

You’ve heard of Edward’s pov, but what about Edward’s peen’s pov? Get inside the peen’s perspective and see what goes on inside the pants. If you’ve ever thought it was hard being a person, try living this life. AH, AU, M, E&B eventually.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Humor/Romance – Edward, Bella – Chapters: 21 – Words: 83,395 – Reviews: 683 – Favs: 552 – Follows: 520 – Updated: Mar 24, 2013 – Published: Jan 17, 2011 – Status: Complete – id: 6661209

Rob Attack

And don’t forget the sequel…

Ramblings of a Whipped Peen by Smmiskimen

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7594977/1/Ramblings-of-a-Whipped-Peen

This is a sort of follow up/sequel to Confessions of an Overworked, Underpaid Peen. This will be little one shots of snippets of his life, little happenings, and such. EPPov AH, OOC

Rated: Fiction M – English – Humor/Romance – Edward, Bella – Chapters: 11 – Words: 14,148 – Reviews: 217 – Favs: 128 – Follows: 140 – Updated: Oct 22, 2012 – Published: Nov 30, 2011 – Status: Complete – id: 7594977

Know of any other fics where Edward’s cock takes center stage?

Rob Attack

Happy Friday, y’all!

Rita

Night Raider

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Filed under Fan Fiction Recs, Peen, Rita01tx

Robsessed Giggles

Whether it’s because of the Robdrought, the midweek blues or you just want to smile, we’re here to brighten your day. And of course, that means Rob is too! One of my favorite things about Rob is his ability to laugh at himself. So let’s laugh with him (cause you know he’s reading. Hi Rob!) and enjoy some good ole Rob fun!!

Let’s start off with a look at your brain. Your brain on Rob, that is!!

 

 And when the majority of your brain is thinking of sex and Rob, you have to enjoy a gif like this:

And on National television no less!

But Rob, does it look like this?

Sorry Rob, we do know. Pretty sure yours doesn't sparkle.

 I’m giggling for sure now! But I won’t be laughing if this ever happens to me:

We should all be so lucky!
As long as I don’t look like this when I see him I’ll be good!
 
And since no Rob funnies can be complete without a jumping Rob, this one is just awesome:

I spy with my little eye...

 Well I hope you’re smiling now! I know it sure makes my day better especially when you hear this sound to go with it:

Happy Wednesday ladies! Keep laughing,

robsfuturemate

So what about Rob makes you laugh? Show us your fave Rob funnies in the comments 🙂

 
 

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Filed under Goofalicious, Just For Shizz and Giggles, Peen, Rob Drought, Rob Pattinson

Pick The Pick 5 anyone?

RobsFan~tasy

"Hello Everybody! *Waves*

It’s been a week or so and I’m back to challenge your knowledge of “The Precious Pretty Parts in your Pervy portfolios!” LOL (try saying that three times fast! *snickers*) Pick the Pick Pictures come from our very own Cared this week. so here we go.

Can You find me?

I see you!!!

If This one is found quickly I will post some more throughout the day…
Ready, Set, GO!
 

rdmickey 1989 *Wink*

           rdmickey1989 Wins round 5!!!

 
 
Laters BBez…
 
 
RobsFan~tasy
 

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Filed under Fingerporn, Just For Shizz and Giggles, Peen, Pick the Pic, Shamwow anyone?, What Gets You Hot?

Rob~a~licious Yum!!

RobsFan~tasy

 
Well girls, I’m feeling a little Nostalgic today and since I am, I thought we could share a few giggles about the good old days. How you ask?  By remembering and teaching all our new friends, hOOrs, Angelz and Sistas WTF we are talking about  when we use terms like SWMNBN, Sofa King HAWT and FTMFW (yes there are many who do not know what this means. That’s ok! Ain’t no shame in the game Ladies!) and about a gazillion others! So, I was planning on making this a Three Part post {And we are going to have to make it three parts cuz trust me, the “Robcabulary” Is bigger than the “JaPEEN” *GASP* Yeah! I said it! LOL}  and maybe, just maybe, with the Bel Ami Clip, *DED* The New BD Honeymoon Clip *Sigh* and The *giggles* Comic Con Appearance, we might just come up with a few new words for the “WikiPEENia” And The “Robster’s DICKtionary” So I’m going to start us off with some of these from the “Good ‘Ol days at RAoR” And we can Build on it from there! If you’ve seen or Heard one that you do not know Please, don’t be shy, just ask and we will Tell ya all what it means! If you have a NEW ROBISM to add to the collect let’s hear it! OK, are you ready? Got your “DICKtation” pads out and ready to start? Here is just a VERY SMALL portion of the RobCabulary.
 
Warning:
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
“Robisms”
Robgasm – what you have when you look at a particularly hot-sexy pic or video of Rob
 
Robgasmic – *see Robgasm*
 
Robsession – the feelings his fans have toward Rob and basically what you feel which is Why you are here now.
 
Robs-lumber – aka Mr Winky aka pEEn. 😛
 
St Mattress – the church where Rob worships.
 
Robtastic – referring to Rob pics or videos, manips, edits wall papers etc.
 
Robtacular – *see Robtastic*
 
Robs-happytrail – that line of hair that starts below that freckle and leads down his chest to Robs-Lumber.
Perfect??? OH YES!!!!!
Happy Trail…Happy gurl : )
DirtyRob – Rob in any state of sexy slobbery – scruff, plaid, unkept hair, shiteous Nikes, drunkeness. *See any Rome Rob Pic*
*DIED*
 
RobCrotch – do you need to ask?…worshipped by many, longed for by all.
 
Good Robmorning – how you greet fellow Robsessed fans in the am.
 
Robfix – daily dose of Rob required to get through the day. That’s why we are here!
 
Robscars – the Actual name of the Oscars when Rob attends.
 
Robstalking – how fans refer to their daily hunt for info and new pictures of Rob. (How I got started! LOL)
 
JawPorn – created by Rob’s strong jawline.  Used to refer to any photo or image where this is prominent.
JAW Porn! *Squeeeee*
*Nuff Said!*
Robdreams – what fans wish for every night!
 
Robattack – similar to a heart attack but can only be induced by Rob! Yup, this Robism is Where I got the name for this site!
 
Robaholic – as in “my name is Rita and I’m a Robaholic“  [Hello Rita & Welcome to the Party] *snickers* Sorry Rita, Couldn’t
resist!!! 😀
 
Stay-at-Home-Rob-Stalker – stay at home RobStalker *ME! THAT’S ME!*
 
Cream-of-Rob umm no explanation required here.
 
Robscars” – the Actual name of the Oscars when Rob attends
 
 “Rob-a-licious” Pretty Self Explainitory!
 
“Robnesia”- that thing I get that makes me forget to feed the family and do the laundry, dishes, etc….
 
“Robgob”: that piece of drool you discover running down your mouth after staring at Happy trail pics….
 
“Spunkpack” what a “Normal man *snickers* would call a six-packAKA ROBpack
 
“RobEnvy”-what every man in the world has. Their women are all just slipping away at the slightest thought of RPattz.
 
“RobSexplosion” = Explosion of a great deal of RobPorn showcased very, very quickly in a video montage
 
Example: “Faster Kill Pussycat” video, I have floved this video since I first saw and it is still in my top 5! *SQUEEEE*
 
 
Or this one! Oh La La!!! Also in my top 5! *humina humina humina*
 
 
Errrr…Make that top 3!!! *whew! it’s hot in here??? *THAT Ma Dears is every freakin form of Robporn Known to Woman kind! and all I can say is DAY~UM!!! That’s HAWT!!!
 
“Robpack”: Marcus Foster, Bobby Long, Johnny Flynn and others.
 
“Robnana” – if ya have to ask, ya shouldn’t be reading this blog…leave NOW!
 
‘Robnana Nut Muffin” – seriously, if ya don’t know go NOW, go play with Justin Bieber!!”
 
‘PattinPervs – gender neutral term to describe the fans with one-track-mind
 
“PattinSluts” – see previous definition, female specific. *GUILTY!!* I owns it!
 
“FBR” – Federal Bureau of Robstigation-  
 
“PSI=Porn Scene Investigator”: For photo see closest mirror! LOL
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
There are many many more my Sistas I know you know them. I have a Full list and will be adding a full DICKtionary/WikiPEENia Tab once I have all your input! So post away and add to the list. (porn to accompany said definition is always welcome!!)
 
Note: Most of these came from RAoR but I did try to reword them a bit to make them current and new again.
 Love,
RobsFan~tasy

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Filed under Addicted, Getting Started, Just For Shizz and Giggles, My Brand of Heroin, oh lalala, Peen, Shamwow anyone?, What Gets You Hot?

Just for Shizz and Giggles

Hello Everybody *waves*

RobsFan~tasy

Last night as I was browsing the net, I stumbled across a pic of Rob that I had seen different versions of but I hadn’t seen this exact one. I saved it and went on surfing but that pic got me to thinking about a blog I read some where. (sorry can’t remember who, when or where. It was quite awhile ago.) In this blog, a woman had gone to some event somewhere in London Rob was appearing at. She didn’t have tickets to get in but she stood near the “red carpet’ (Gosh, sorry I just can’t remember..) just in the hopes of getting a glimpse or a pic of him. Any way she got more than she had expected and got to shake hands with Rob. *faint*  One of her blog buddies asked if his hands were exceptionally large and were his fingers exceptionally long, after all they’d HAVE to be in order to play the piano the way he does right?
Loooongg Fingers

*Nose dives into the RobGutter*

 

Then I got to thinking about how many blogs and videos etc. there are about our Wonderful Rob’s hands, Which in turn brought me back to this other pic I had found. So many people want to know how large his hands Really are. Being the curious type I got to thinking and pulled the pic up out of my files and sat there looking at it, wondering…  “if he’s six foot one…and I’m….then that would mean…”  yadda yadda yadda.
 
 I admit I’m no mathmatical wizard but looking at it on my screen it appeared to be Alomst of life size but not quite. I was like, “Well, crap! If it was just slightly larger I could tell. Then it occurred to me…Enlarge ya dope! So i did…and well, * SNICKERS* by my calculations it’s gotta be in my “Professional Opinion,”  *rolling my eyes*  Pretty Freakin’ accurate!!! *LOL*
 
You know the drill, click the link, enlarge to 125% center his hand on your screen and compare his hand to your hand…I bet you once you do you’ll be grinning like an idiot!! I did. I admit it!!

http://robert-pattinson.net/photos/displayimage.php?pid=1904&fullsize=1

 

See, you are grinning Like and idiot and your mind is going crazy with all kinds of WILD thoughts Right?
Enjoy,
 
RobsFan~tasy

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Filed under Addicted, Peen, What Gets You Hot?

Just Sayin’

RobsFan~tasy
As I’ve said many times, I’m a little late to the Par-tee but I’m catching up quick. Catching up means I spend most of my days and nights, (I don’t sleep since Rob became my obsession) lurking and reading etc. In doing so, I’ve noticed that there has been quite a bit of speculation about the size of a certain body part. *cough*Peen*cough* all because of pictures like this one…

Squeeee

 And this one…
Scruffy Rob

Humina humina humina

And this one caused QUITE the stir all along the internet!!
Paps Peen

HHhhmmm?? Cell phone?? Oh I hope not! LOL

If you don’t get my drift in this post just zoom in on the Pattinson “package”
 
And THIS collage was fun too….

*THUD*

I threw this in just so you’d have a perfectly pattinson peen porn day!!! 😀
 
With Everything and every pic that comes out, this topic invariably comes up all because some one always crops and enlarges the pic to “examine the evidence.” (green with envy cause I didn’t think of it first) 😀 There are all kinds of theories out there…
 
There’s the comparison to the size of his rather large hands. Big hands= big…*ahem*
.
 Some say “that part” is the equivalent in inches as a man is feet tall (i.e. 6foot tall =6in) *shrugs*.
“¯\_(ツ)_/¯”
 
 Some people say that it’s the same distance between the thumb and the tip of your index finger. *shrugs again*
“¯\_(ツ)_/¯”
 
Well, Ladies, I think I can add one more (maybe 2) things for you too consider on this topic. (that is until I have my way with Rob and I can visually confirm it for myself and then tell you all about it. ;) )
You see  *an anonymous source told me* it’s a well known fact that your foot or your shoe size is exactly the distance between the crook of your elbow and the tip of your wrist. Don’t believe me? Go get your shoe and check for yourself, Go on, I’ll wait…(waiting…drumming my fingers on the table…more waiting…) Are you done? I’m right aren’t I? Perhaps just slightly over the edge of your wrist right? Implying it’s actually a little Longer? uh-huh thought so… Coincidence? Nope. Check with your friends, you’ll see I’m right.
 Everyone is like that. Stress the word EVERYRobONE.
 
Now, based on the same *all knowing* source, and the evidence I’ve just provided, I also happen to know that certain male body parts *cough*peen*cough* just happen to be the same size as the man’s foot!! (when its at “attention” that is) *snickersnort*
Ladies, Pervs, & Angelz,
RobsFan-tasy Is Proud to bring you the following pic for you to survey…(courtesy of WFE)
Wowsa!

OMG!

Notice how Rob’s foot is convienently aligned with the length of the TRUNK of the Elephant. *wondering if that is a subliminal message to the RAoR crew* Hmmm… His foot doesn’t seem small at all in comparison now does it? *WEG* (Wicked Evil Grin) Looks to be about a size 13 at the Very Least…*fans self*
 
Hello? Anybody? Did you all shizzle and faint? Thought so. Well anyway, when you wake up, just let that thought run around rampant (with its big bare feet) in your minds and I’m sure you’ll have a great day!!
Sincerely,
 
RobsFan~tasy

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Filed under Addicted, Peen, Rob Pattinson, What Gets You Hot?