Tag Archives: Bornonhalloween

Random Rita ~ Friday Feature Fics!

ROB ATTACK

Evenin’, ladies!

Anyone don’t believe in miracles, I’m here to prove you wrong! After a hiatus of three years and some change, Catastrophia managed to hit the ball right outta the park and bring Me and Mr Cullen home COMPLETE!

ROB ATTACK

That was me when I saw the updates pop up in my inbox…two in a row *THUD!*

ROB ATTACK

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7925096/1/Me-and-Mr-Cullen

It was just a long weekend in Vegas, so how did eighteen year old high school senior Bella Swan end up married to thirty one year old movie exec, Edward Cullen? This is the story of their awkward life. Rated M for future lemons.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Drama – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 39 – Words: 142,116 – Reviews: 8,859 – Favs: 6,306 – Follows: 7,594 – Updated: Jan 7 – Published: Mar 15, 2012 – Status: Complete – id: 7925096

After a fun day of seein’ the sights of Las Vegas, followed by a sumptuous dinner and too much champagne, the Vegas cliché…

A deep groan escaped the chest beneath my head. How did this happen? My gaze flitted around, realizing that I was not in my hotel room. My eyes shot down, and I sighed when finding my dress was still on and so was most of his suit. Though his shirt was unbuttoned enough to reveal the sculpted chest beneath.

One of the hands moved up and brushed the hair from my face before tilting my head back. Edward’s emerald eyes widened when they met my brown.

“Jesus-fucking-Christ!” he cursed.

His eyes squeezed shut and he pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. I don’t know why, but his reaction made my chest tighten. I needed to leave, get away, now.

Using the hand on his chest, I pushed up, lifting me from the bed and his warmth.

“I. . . have to go,” I whispered.

He opened his eyes at my movement, and his hand reached out, grabbing mine as I tried to remove it from his chest.

“Wait. . . What the hell is that?” he questioned and my eyes followed his down to the large diamond ring I was sporting.

“I don’t know. It was there when I woke up.”

Quickly, he jerked his other arm out from underneath my body, his eyes widening when a white gold band reflected in the light.

“Oh, my God!” I gasped. “Did we. . . I. . . how. . . ”

“I don’t know, but I think so,” he replied to my incomplete and incoherent questions, the same running through his own mind.

Jumping up, he staggered, grabbing his head and stumbling back to the bed. Trying again, slowly, he walked across the room to the table and picked something up from the glass top.

He picked up another item, and then began mumbling and chanting ‘fuck’ over and over.

“What is it?” I asked, though I had a feeling I knew what it was already.

“Well, Mrs. Cullen, it’s our marriage certificate.”

Fuck. Me.

Each assumed the other regretted the deed and the word annulment was bandied about but a clearer head prevailed!

“There you are! I didn’t think you’d be out all night. Hope you two had fun!” she exclaimed with a wink and ushered us in.

I wanted to face palm myself from her reaction. My mom was actually hoping I had sex with him?

“I’m surprised to see you as well, Edward,” she said, smiling at him.

“Well, hurry on in, check out is in two hours and I want to get another few minutes in at the casino before we head out.”

“Actually, Renee, we have something to tell you before that,” Edward started before announcing. “We got married last night.”

Her eyes were almost bugging out of her head as she looked between us.

“Don’t worry, Mom, we’re going to get an annulment,” I said hurriedly.

“Why?” my mother asked and she was genuinely confused.

What the hell?

Only my mother. Rational people knew why.

“Because, this was a mistake. We just drank too much Champagne.

She’s only eighteen, Renee,” Edward pointed out.

“So. You’re married now; why not give it a try?” Renee questioned like it was the most obvious answer.

“She’s eighteen and still in high school! We live in different states,” he argued.

“Edward, do you like her?” she asked pointedly.

“That’s irrelevant.”

“Just answer, please,” she requested.

Edward’s eyes widened. “Well. . . yes.”

“Good. She’ll go home with you, and I’ll send her things.”

“What?” Edward and I cried at the same time.

“Mom?” I looked at her inquisitively, my chest tightening. Was she trying to get rid of me?

“Oh, Bella, sweetheart,” she said and wrapped her arms around me.

“Why?” I asked softly, my voice quivering.

“I see your why and raise you a how. How do you two know this wasn’t meant to be? Maybe this was destiny hitting you both over the head,” she explained and turned to Edward. “Is that really your only concern, Edward, her age?”

“I. . . ummm.. . she’s in her senior year.”

“Yes, and it’s only the fall semester. She can easily enroll in classes where you live,” she stated and then sighed. “Look, Edward, there must have been something about her that interested you, otherwise you wouldn’t have asked her to marry you. You bought a ring and said ‘I do’. It doesn’t matter how much you had to drink, that was what you did. Drinking is not an excuse to wipe everything away in the morning. You two are married. Deal with it.”

Well, dealin’ with it AND the reaction of Edward’s family prove to be Bella’s real education…oh, that and what she learns from Edward in the bedroom and you’ll have to read to follow his class with her LMAO!

~oOo~

If there was a category of fics called “How The Hell Did I Miss This One?” Drotuno’s Gravity Series would be at the top of the list, which I’ve discovered to my great delight…after much urgin’ from Zveka! She’s even got Kay readin’ along with me while  she’s re-readin’ for the umpteenth time LOL!

ROB ATTACK

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6755101/1/Gravity-Series-1-Blood-Glory

The definition of a mercenary is a soldier for hire. His crew are trained fighting machines. Hers are smart PIs. What happens when they need each other to survive? Canon couples. AH/AU. Rated M for lots of reasons, including violence and lemons.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Hurt/Comfort/Romance – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 33 – Words: 302,953 – Reviews: 4,752 – Favs: 3,790 – Follows: 1,407 – Updated: Jun 25, 2011 – Published: Feb 18, 2011 – Status: Complete – id: 6755101

Edward Cullen is a soldier for hire that works for his father, Bella Swan is a Private Investigator and the daughter of Carlisle Cullen’s best friend, Charlie. When Bella goes missing, Carlisle employs his own band of mercenaries, including his son to find her and protect her. What happens when Bella finds out that her father’s business partner and best friend isn’t exactly what he said he was? What happens when Bella discovers that the boy she met one time is now an efficient military killing machine? And what happens when she decides that it doesn’t matter? But what kind of Bella does Edward find?

First time Bella meets Edward:

I was twelve years old when I met the most beautiful boy I’d ever seen. He was sweet, kind, funny, and had the most adorable speech impediment. He stuttered. A lot. He was shy – very shy – with crazy hair and a crooked smile, but it was his eyes I remembered the most.

Green. They were piercing green, framed with long, dark eyelashes women would give an appendage for. He had a round face – still somewhere between boyish and teen – and smooth, pale skin.

The next time Bella comes face-to-face with Edward years later:

I heard running steps and a door open, but it was a loud boom that made my mind come undone, because suddenly, I was plunged into complete blackness. Miller had turned the lights off on me, but it had never been this dark, because the light from upstairs had always filtered dimly from underneath the door. But this…this was like someone had taped my eyes closed, like I had gone entirely blind. And that scared the shit out of me, because it wasn’t so bad when I could see shit coming my way, and now I couldn’t.

The table I was lying on shook with the force of whatever had exploded.

Another, smaller, explosion happened right above my head, causing dust to fall onto my face, and I started to struggle under the tight leather straps that Miller had around me. I was going to burn right on that table.

Quieter, yet unsure, footsteps came down the stairs, a flashlight behind them, and I started to hyperventilate. I couldn’t breathe, see, or even formulate a clear thought.

“Easy, Bella,” a smooth, velvet, but so very calming voice met my ears, and all I knew was that it wasn’t Miller.

I dissolved into hysterics.

“Shh…it’s okay, it’s okay,” he said, his fingers struggling to slide under the leather straps. “I need to get…something to cover you up…”

“Don’t leave me…” I panicked, grabbing at whatever I could get a hold of once my arms were free. “Please…don’t…” I cried.

“Okay, I won’t, I swear,” he sighed, freeing me from the rest of my restraints. He stepped back just a little, covering me up with what felt like a leather jacket. “Can you hold on?” he asked gently.

I nodded, allowing him to wrap my arms around his shoulders. Warm, strong arms slipped underneath my legs, lifting me up as if I weighed nothing, and I curled into him, unable to stem my tears.

He smelled like leather and comfort and man. He smelled like strength and warmth, and I gave in, because I was too tired, too beaten to fight.

Once he’d carried me up the stairs, I couldn’t keep my eyes open any longer.

Should you decide to join us, I promise you won’t regret it!!!

~oOo~

Hold onto your hearts, ladies, ’cause you will not believe how fast you fall completely in love with Edward in Bornonhalloween’s latest jewel, courtesy of the P.S. I Love You Contest!

ROB ATTACK

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12286291/1/Old-School

He’s old school, and I think I like it! 2nd Place Judges’ and Public Votes, P.S. I LOVE YOU CONTEST.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 6 – Words: 12,810 – Reviews: 615 – Favs: 358 – Follows: 599 – Updated: Jan 10 – Published: Dec 23, 2016 – id: 12286291

Of course it starts pouring because I actually flat-ironed my hair this morning. I hunch my shoulders as if playing turtle might stop the raindrops from landing on my head and my skintight clothes. If only I had a real waterproof shell to escape into.

Come on, 51! If the bus arrives before my T-shirt gets soaked through, this day might not be a total disaster.

A body shuffles behind me; the rain stops—or at least, it stops falling on me. A soft pitter-pat above my head muffles the noise pollution of the city street. Any other day, I would shrug away from a stranger’s umbrella. Today, I can’t afford to be prickly. 

Craning my neck, I take a cautious peek at the pavement behind me. A man’s brown loafers, almost twice the size of my own open toed sandals, stand firm against the water droplets ricocheting off the sidewalk. My gaze ventures up his tan corduroy pants, just reaching his thigh when a deep voice startles me.

“Sorry, didn’t meant to scare you. I hope you don’t mind.” 

My focus jumps to the man’s face—a handsome, grown-up face framed by a close-trimmed salt-and-pepper beard. A hint of a smile brushes his cheeks, mirrored in his silvery-blue eyes.

“Not at all. Thanks, actually.”

His grin widens. “It goes against my grain to let a lady get wet.”

Coming from any other guy, that line would definitely ring the creeper bell. Something about this man—maybe the crinkles etched at the corners of his eyes and lips—lends a sense of depth that instantly sets me at ease. Or maybe his swoon-worthy smile has lulled me into a false sense of security.

“I appreciate that.”

“My pleasure.” He steps close to my side, creating a safe, dry island for two.

Such a sweet and saucy first meetin’ as they share an umbrella and a seat on the bus. Of course, this isn’t the last time she sees him!

With trembling fingers, I pull a cocktail napkin off the stack and set it neatly in front of him. “Welcome to Hooters, Umbrella Man.”

My voice sounds steadier than I feel.

“I told you you’d get the job.”

So he had. “You come here often?”

He chuckles. “No. I had to come see for myself. . . ” What he’s come to see becomes apparent as his eyeballs hit the “HOOTERS” stretched across my chest. “Bella. Suits you.”

“Well, that doesn’t seem fair. Now you know my job and my name.”

“I’m Edward.” He offers his hand, and I take it before remembering mine is damp and chilly from handling cold beverages and wet cloths.

“Sorry, my hand is—”

His grip tightens as I try to pull away. “Incredibly soft,” he says, holding my gaze as firmly as my hand.

A shiver races up my arm. “Edward? Not Eddie or Ed? Or Ted?”

“Never Ted. Eesh!” No, I suppose, not Ted for the man who brings his mother flowers.

“Edward, then. That suits you, too. Very old-school.”

“Ouch.” He releases me and claps his hand to his chest.

“I like it. It’s different.”

“Old and different. Maybe I should quit while I’m behind.”

“Can I buy you a drink, Edward?”

“To make up for all the insults?” He gives me a fake-wounded pout I don’t buy for a second.

“Let’s call it a trade for the umbrella.”

Old School might be older but it’s nothin’ Bella can’t deal with and he’s not holdin’ back, either! Oooh, I really look forward to the updates on this one!

What fics are keepin’ you warm on a cold winter’s night?

Happy Friday, y’all!

Rita

Rob Attack

 

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Filed under Fan Fiction Recs, Rita01tx

Random Rita ~ Friday Feature Fics!

ROB ATTACK

Evenin’, ladies!

Ain’t gonna bore you with excuses for my long absence…suffice to say, I don’t do well with heat waves or WordPress glitches LOL!

However, the silver linin’ to bein’ in readin’ mode for so long is havin’ a ridiculous number of fics to rec!

These recs are all about the feels!

ROB ATTACK

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/4487327/1/Major-Jasper-and-Blackbird

Bella talks in her sleep. Emmett gets an idea. Jasper/Bella bonding ensues.

Twilight – Rated: T – English – Friendship – Chapters: 1 – Words: 4,389 – Reviews: 405 – Favs: 1,254 – Follows: 191 – Published: Aug 20, 2008 – Jasper, Bella – Complete

Why I’d never heard of this author before, I don’t know but I literally gorged myself on all her one shots…this was my favorite and so good, I had to share!

Major Jasper and Blackbird: or, Why Edward Decided (for the 23rd time) That Emmett Needed to Die Already!

Emmett was on babysitting duty. Jasper was also left at home, but no one expected him to watch Bella and he would never have offered unless it was an absolute necessity. 

Emmett hears something with huge potential for mischief when she sleep talks after dozin’ off durin’ a movie and surprises her next day with a trampoline!

And so it began. It was a matter of trial and error – Jasper didn’t quite know how much pressure to assert when Bella’s small frame made contact with the trampoline, and Bella didn’t know what to make of the added height and momentum he gave her. She soared off the right side a fair few times, always being caught in either Emmett or Jasper’s arms before she could injure herself. She showed no sign of nervousness or discomfort, only joy and abandon – a steady stream of her laughter ringing through the clearing.

Her feelings were having an incredible effect on Jasper; he couldn’t remember a time when he’d felt so wonderful without being near Alice. He couldn’t help but spread it around, causing a very silly grin to form on Emmett’s dimpled face.

Of course, Edward comes home from a huntin’ trip at exactly the wrong time…well, you’ll just have to read the whole thing to see how that turns out LMAO!

~oOo~

ROB ATTACK

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12120156/1/Double-Stroller

The wind is hot, and I’m sticky and sweaty and need to go home and take a shower. I should be taking advantage of the fact that we’re done early for the day, but I’m not. Instead, I’m sitting in my truck, waiting for the mom with the double stroller to walk by. I do this every day of the week and even though I worry I’m becoming a little creepy, I can’t seem to stop myself.

Twilight – Rated: T – English – Romance/Hurt/Comfort – Chapters: 6 – Words: 13,570 – Reviews: 486 – Favs: 237 – Follows: 444 – Updated: Sep 28 – Published:Aug 26 – Bella, Edward

Some of you might recognize the first chapter from the Meet the Mate contest where it took 3rd place…Meli has since expanded this wonderful story, for which I am eternally grateful!

I first noticed this woman who I’ve dubbed – double stroller mom – on the Monday we started working to replace the sidewalks in the older neighbourhood on the east end of town. She was walking at a quick pace on the opposite side of the street, pushing a double stroller with one child jumping up and down in it, and another that looked like a baby. Behind her trailed a young girl, maybe five or six years old, who was trying to keep up.

Weeks later, I’m on my hands and knees in a dugout that was once a sidewalk and will be again soon, when I hear a soft sniffling sound. Looking up, I see two, small, bare feet with toenails that look as if they’re painted with sparkly pink dirt. As I slowly stand and raise my eyes, I notice knobbly knees just under the hem of a short pink nightgown with multi-color cupcakes printed all over it. I start chuckling at the cuteness of it all, but quickly stop when I see her face. It’s double stroller mom’s little mini-me. Her brown eyes look abnormally large on such a little face and for a moment, she just stares at me. Brushing the dirt off my hands, I look up at the house and then back at the girl. She looks as though she is going to be sick, but in a small, quiet voice she says “my mom,” and “blood” in such a way that it leaves me cold.

Thus begins Edward’s entrance into the world of Double Stroller Mom!  Oh, and she has a nickname for him, too…Rusty!

~oOo~

ROB ATTACK

{banner by MarieCarro}

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12135729/1/Jack-Crush

Shy, reserved Edward has a little too much Jack Daniels after finding his fiancée cheating on him. Waking up the next morning in a strange woman’s bed, he fights the pull he feels for her. Will he realize they’re fated for each other, or will he only focus on their differences?

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Hurt/Comfort – Chapters: 5 – Words: 7,777 – Reviews: 273 – Favs: 256 – Follows: 565 – Updated: Sep 26 – Published: Sep 5 – id: 12135729

Prepare to meet one of the baddest ass Bellas ever!

“Someone in this bar has been banned,” my voice rang out in the silence. “Someone was told to stay away, or there would be consequences.” I stopped swinging, banging the business end of my stick on the wood floor.

Standing at his full six feet seven inches, I knew I wasn’t physically any match for him. However, I also knew every single person in that bar would have my back if me and my Slugger were to fail. He straightened his spine, but being the coward he is, he didn’t speak.

“You need to leave. You are officially banned from my businesses, in front of witnesses, in case you forget again.” Rocking my hips a little, I swung the bat in small circles over my shoulder.

“I didn’t forget,” he finally spoke. “I just didn’t think you were seriously going to turn away my money.”

The blood in my veins boiled harder at his words. “Are you implying something, Black?”

“Just that I’m a paying customer. Last I checked, you don’t give anything away for free.” He smirked, thinking he had me where it hurt. He knew I struggled to meet all of my responsibilities.

So I played it up. I let my eyes water a little, and my lip quivered as I dropped the bat to my side, relaxing my stance. He leaned closer to me. “But-but-but. . . ” Striking like a snake while his guard was down, I grabbed him by the gonads, twisting my wrist ruthlessly. “I don’t need your fucking money!”

The crowd that had mostly been silent up until then erupted. Some men groaned, most people cheered, and Emmett made his very tall presence known behind a crying Jake. I nodded, and he grabbed him by his neck, shoving his bent over body out the front door.

When I turned back to the bar, there were a handful of cheers, and I did a curtsy as the music came back up. Replacing the bat under the bar top, I caught the eye of my one night stand before he moved to sit back down.

Yup, Edward grew a pair and came back for round two, three, four…well, you get the drift LOL!

~oOo~

ROB ATTACK

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12128224/1/Final-Destination

Two lost, lonely people travelling to different destinations. One storm that brings them together. Could their meeting alter their final destination?

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Hurt/Comfort – Chapters: 5 – Words: 12,415 – Reviews: 790 – Favs: 621 – Follows: 914 – Updated: Sep 28 – Published: Aug 31 – id: 12128224

Anyone who’s ever suffered a long layover at a socked in airport can relate to Bella’s predicament, although I’m sure none of us was ever granted such a magnificent partner in mind numbin’ boredom LOL!

Across from my spot, a man was stretched out, already sleeping. On the floor beside him sat a bulging backpack resting against the seat and a battered guitar case. He was dressed in a white T-shirt and jeans, his feet clad in dusty work boots. The way he was curled up, his T-shirt had ridden up over his pants, exposing a wide expanse of his naked back. His jeans were pulled down, the waistband of his underwear peeking over the edge. Tilting my head, I read Fruit of the Loom written across the banding. Feeling like a stalker, my eyes drifted lower, settling on his ass. His well-shaped, very firm-looking ass. The angle he was bent in showed it off to perfection. Squinting my eyes, I could even see two dimples that rested just over the swell of his ass cheeks and the sudden desire to reach across and touch them made me actually sit on my hands so I didn’t do exactly that.

He was lying down—stretched out across a few seats. Maybe I should try doing that. I stood up and pulled on the wide, metal arm rail, but it didn’t budge. I pushed and pulled, but I couldn’t get it to move. I moved to the next set of seats and tried again. Obviously, some of them had to pull up so you could lie down. Ass-man had figured it out. Surely I could, too.

I circled around and warily leaned over the back of the seats he was sleeping on to see how the arm lifted. I was shocked when I realized the arm wasn’t missing. Mr. Ass-man was curled right around the metal—so tightly it was digging into his stomach. I frowned at the dark circles under his eyes, but understood better how he was able to sleep in such an awkward position. He was exhausted.

My gaze strayed over to my backpack. I wondered if I should cover him with my blanket and if there was any way of sliding the airplane pillow under his head, to make him a little more comfortable. I wanted to do something, help in some small way. Why, I had no idea, but the urge was overwhelming.

His eyes were now open—staring right at me. Wide, startled eyes, so green it was like losing oneself in a deep forest. I felt my cheeks burst into flames at being caught leaning over him and staring.

I waited for the anger. The yelling that would start any second.

Instead, his full mouth curved into a slow, deep smile.

“Hello.”

The next few hours entail monumental bondin’ that makes it imperative to choose a combined final destination!

~oOo~

ROB ATTACK

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12133072/1/The-Curb

Bella’s night doesn’t go as planned when she forgets an address and stumbles upon an injured stranger instead. AH

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Hurt/Comfort – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 7 – Words: 9,111 – Reviews: 463 – Favs: 291 – Follows: 536 – Updated:Sep 24 – Published: Sep 3 – id: 12133072

Why is it that a beat up to hell and back Edward tugs at our heartstrings? Oh, and Bella’s as well…

My phone died right around the time I hit the corner of Chestnut and High. I wish I were high when another gust of cold wind flies up my skirt. Shivering, I cross the street, stopping right in the middle of the road when a moan comes from behind one of the parked cars.

“Hello? Is someone there?” Another moan. “Look, if you’re planning on attacking me, I’d advise against it.” Looking side to side, I noisily dig around in my purse. “I’ve got a new can of pepper spray and I’m not afraid to use it.” Key point being that it’s new.

Another moan comes out of the darkness before cheers erupt from inside the surrounding warm houses. I creep closer to look around the back of the car where I find a man sitting on the curb, his head in his hands.

“Hey, are you okay?”

With my finger firmly in place on the pepper spray, I move closer until I’m standing right beside the guy.

“Excuse me. Hey . . . ” I reach down and touch his shoulder, and he jerks away, looking up at me in fear.

“Oh, wow.” I automatically cringe, unable to help it when I see the condition of the guy’s face. He’s obviously been in a fight by the looks of that busted lip. His eyes are swollen shut. But what really worries me is the bloody gash on his forehead.

She insists on callin’ an ambulance to take him to the hospital and winds up goin’ with him. Then, she can’t get rid of him LOL!

“I’m sorry, Mr. Masen, but I can’t in good conscience let you go without someone to stay with. I just can’t.” The doctor repeats my words from earlier in the evening and Edward looks at me out of the side of his eye.

“Oh, no. Huh uh.” I simultaneously shake my head and wave the idea away with a sassy finger.

“What? You heard the doc. Only twenty-four hours and I’ll be out of your pretty brown hair.” He reaches up to flick a curled end and my mouth drops.

He cannot be serious.

Still haven’t found out who beat him up but I have my theories…make your own!

~oOo~

So, this was the teaser Bornonhalloween threw at us for her latest endeavor!

ROB ATTACK

She’s sooo evil but, boy, did she finally deliver LMAO!

bornonhalloween_still-waters_banner-by-betti-gefecht

{banner by Betti Gefecht}

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12157301/1/Still-Waters

A stressed-out grad student hiding from the world finds a mountain man of few words and quiet strength. Still waters do run deep. E/B, Rated M

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 3 – Words: 9,648 – Reviews: 370 – Favs: 290 – Follows: 538 – Updated: Sep 28 – Published: Sep 20 – id: 12157301

The fresh mountain air filled my lungs, and I could almost feel the cobwebs blowing away. Ahhh. Grown-up camp might even be tolerable if the other inmates could just learn to suffer in silence like me.

I didn’t want to completely lose the group, but as a kid, I had played enough hide-and-seek with my brothers to know a count to fifty was in order. I’d just reached “thirty-eight Mississippi” when I heard someone calling my name. Crap.

“Isabella? Isabella Swan?”

Not Mike.

“Yeah, I’m over here.”

“Oh, thank God.” Heavy boots jogged toward me, and I got my first close-up view of our shy hike leader as he dropped to one knee next to my pack. “Are you okay?”

Damn, he was gorgeous. Like, drop dead, but first tear off all your clothes gorgeous. Or maybe tear off his clothes gorgeous. Fit and tan and mountain-man scruffy, wild hair poking out all around the edges of his camo-patterned Red Sox cap. Outfitted in neutral tans and greens that melted into the earth, he looked like someone far more comfortable blending in than sticking out—someone like me.

A semicircle of sweat darkened his tan T-shirt, and the rise and fall of slightly labored breathing distracted me to the point where I couldn’t look away from that sexy chest. I couldn’t tell if he was out of breath from his jog or the anxiety of misplacing one of his hikers in his first half hour in charge. Either way, it was my fault.

His eyes were hidden behind brown-tinted shades, but I could feel him checking me out for visible signs of injury or worse—something he couldn’t see that might be even more dangerous out here in the wild.

Dayum, where the hell are my hikin’ boots?

~oOo~

And because I can never resist a good vamp fics…

ROB ATTACK

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/12141284/1/In-Your-Shoes

With Edward gone, Bella believes his every lie and assumes he has it easy. It isn’t long before she finds herself in his shoes. (No, not literally.) NM AU

Rated: Fiction M – English – Drama/Humor – Bella – Chapters: 12 – Words: 17,045 – Reviews: 352 – Favs: 61 – Follows: 152 – Updated: 9h ago – Published:Sep 9 – id: 12141284

The story is told mainly from Bella’s point of view, but for some reason Edward seems to think it’s okay if he interjects in the middle of each chapter, therefore each has alternating points of view—Bella/Edward/Bella.

At first it seems like such a rush, plummeting feet first into the freezing cold water. It makes me feel alive for the first time in months, but then my body turns numb and I feel nothing.

My heart is frozen, just like yours, but it’s not the same.

I don’t want to be here anymore.

. . . . .

Leaving you has solved nothing. Leaving you has only proven what I already knew: I am the very worst kind of monster, and I have all but killed us both.

You were far too young to die; you had barely begun to live. And I? I have lived long enough.

I don’t want to be here anymore.

Trust me…neither of them actually dies! Someone, and we don’t know who yet…she was abandoned by her maker, turned Bella and it’s drivin’ me crazy waitin’ for her to remember who she is and for Edward to learn she’s still alive!

Of course, whether he’ll be able to find her or not when he does is the question LOL!

Okay! Did that make up any for the wait?

Happy Friday, ya’ll!

Rita

nightraider240x32012

42 Comments

Filed under Fan Fiction Recs, Rita01tx

Random Rita ~ Friday Feature Fics!

Wet Rob Avi

Evenin’ ladies!

Fell in love with the cutest Edward this week! Bella was pretty darn sweet, too!

However, if hot lemons are all you’re after, this one is not for you…well, there IS an M rated outtake you have to do handstands to find and it’s well worth the trip but the story itself is a T!

Apparently, there were two separate stories at one time but are now pulled together into one, which might explain the low number of reviews! Let’s do something about that, shall we?

Rob Attack

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9489074/1/Sticky-Sweet-Sugar

Both POVs of Sticky Sweet and Sugar combined in one story. City Girl Bella meets Class Clown Edward when she moves to small-town Tennessee. He’s gorgeous, flirtatious, and possibly downright nuts. Can she hold onto her heart around a guy who flirts with anything that breathes? So much fluff.

Rated: Fiction T – English – Romance/Humor – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 45 – Words: 31,713 – Reviews: 97 – Favs: 161 – Follows: 79 – Updated: Feb 11, 2014 – Published: Jul 14, 2013 – Status: Complete – id: 9489074

My new friends invited me to sit with them at lunch, which was a relief. I’d had nightmares about eating at my own table or even hiding away in the library to avoid the stares. I still got a lot of stares, but they were easier to handle with Jasper and Alice as a buffer. It wasn’t long before we were joined by a boy even taller than Jasper and a quiet, pretty blonde. They introduced themselves as Emmett and Rosalie before jumping into comfortable conversation.

An empty seat sat across from me, and I wondered why they would leave it in the middle of the group rather than sitting closer together, but the question was answered before I could ask when another beautiful boy dropped into the chair with an impish grin.

“Principal Letner again?” Alice asked in a bored tone.

“Yep. He loves me. He wants to have my babies.”

I wanted to laugh, but my vocal cords were frozen. He was truly the best looking guy I’d ever seen up close, and he beat a lot of the guys on television, too. My gaze wandered over him, taking in his riotous red-gold hair, twinkling green eyes, devilish smirk, well-formed shoulders, and dirty T-shirt stretched across a broad chest.

His eyes widened when he finally noticed me seated on one side of Jasper, and he glanced over at Alice with even more mischief.

“Jasper, are you hoggin’ all the girls again? If you’re claiming the new girl, can I finally have Alice?”

Emmett and Rosalie both cracked up, letting out loud guffaws of laughter, but Alice reached across the table to smack the top of the beautiful boy’s head.

“Gross, Edward! You’re my cousin.”

My stomach twisted in revulsion as the boy waggled his eyebrows first at Alice and then at me.

“What? The closer kin, the deeper in, right, New Girl? Too bad she’s not my sister.”

I just stared. I had no words to give.

He turned his attention back to Jasper. “Well, if you’re going to be selfish, I’ll go look elsewhere. New Girl, if you get tired of sharing his attention, look me up.”

Without another word, he was gone, leaving me staring after him with my jaw unhinged.

“And that’s Edward,” Jasper informed me.

“He flirts with anything that breathes, but don’t take it to heart. He doesn’t have a serious bone in his body.” These were the first words Rosalie spoke directly to me.

“Even his cousin?” I breathed, watching Edward’s gorgeous backside as he shoved through the cafeteria doors.

“Especially his cousin,” Emmett assured me. “Welcome to Cedar Ridge, where you’re the only person who doesn’t share genes with the rest of the school.”

“Not true!” Alice shouted indignantly when I eyed Jasper’s arm around her shoulder. “We’ve had a few new people before you. Jasper and Rose moved here two years ago.”

“We called dibs,” Emmett whispered.

The line about Principal Letner wantin’ to have Edward’s babies sold me on readin’ every spare minute I had right through to the end LMAO!

His love/hate relationship with Charlie is very entertainin’, too *gigglesnort!*

I stopped at the creek to find some small pebbles since the ones in Bella’s driveway would shatter the glass. Asking for forgiveness would be hard enough without also apologizing for property damage.

I managed to get two launched before Charlie Swan opened the door, wearing his Dad Face. Still, he didn’t have his gun, and he didn’t look like he was itching to grab it, either.

“Get in here and leave her alone.”

Those were the nicest words he’d ever said to me.

“Look, I knew this whole dating thing would have to happen sooner or later, and I can’t deny you’re a damn sight better than any other dumb shit in this town. You’re going places, Edward. None of the other kids around here seem to have any ambition. That’s good enough for me. You make this right, you hear me? I don’t want her taking up with some other idiot and settling down here instead of going to college.”

Somewhere in there he’d called me an idiot, but I didn’t mind. He’d also pretty much given me his blessing.

Rob Attack

Oh, and I tracked down the lemon for you in a collection by DirtyCheekyMonkeys…SunKing’s lemon is chapter 100:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6448546/100/Squeeze-My-Lemon

~oOo~

Another Edward I wish was battin’ on my team is both a math teacher and a rabid basefall fan…and gay *damnit!* Now, I’m not a huge fan of drabble fics UNLESS they’re written by Bornonhalloween and Benched is one of her best!

Rob Attack

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10879668/1/Benched

6th-grade teacher Edward Cullen has done his homework on coaching tee-ball. His confidence evaporates when he takes the field for his team’s first practice and sees none other than Emmett McCarty, World Champion Mariners pitcher, on the sidelines. Can Edward manage his 5-year-olds, his fanboy crush, AND the arrogant asshole who insists on getting in his way at every turn?

Rated: Fiction M – English – Humor – Edward, Emmett – Chapters: 80 – Words: 12,929 – Reviews: 2,497 – Favs: 122 – Follows: 178 – Updated: Mar 28 – Published: Dec 9, 2014 – Status: Complete – id: 10879668

I read this as a WIP and because Born posts faaast, I got all excited and missed the most essential clue of the whole damn story! Boy, was my face red and don’t expect me to give it away here LOL!

Rob Attack

But, to get the whole experince of the most romantic Edward and Emmett ever, you HAVE to read Benched first before goin’ straight to Wild Pitch!

Rob Attack

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11144889/1/Wild-Pitch

Superstar Emmett (“Big Mac”) McCarty is a genius on the mound, but fame forces his true desires deep into the shadows. When a certain fan with a knack for numbers catches Emmett’s attention, life gets a little bit wild. This NON-drabble story is a prequel to “Benched.” M/M Emmett POV. Rated M for major league Edward/Emmett loving.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance – Chapters: 9 – Words: 18,866 – Reviews: 430 – Favs: 100 – Follows: 165 – Updated: 9h ago – Published: Mar 28 – id: 11144889

Emmett’s first sight of Edward…

He couldn’t discern much more than tall, lean figures from across the room, two caps turning left and right, scanning for Emmett. As he stepped out of the shadows and walked toward his guests, Emmett could distinguish the younger man’s features from the proud father angled behind him, taking a back seat to his son’s special moment.

Damn…Did that crazy hair poking out from under his cap have a reddish tint to it? Every step brought new details into focus, and by God, Emmett needed the whole damn picture. He picked up speed, jogging toward the Cullens with his heart in his throat.

Turn this way and show me your eyes, Emmett willed him, but as he drew closer, Emmett realized that Edward Cullen was taking his sweet, damn time surveying the locker room. In fact, the guy didn’t seem all that interested in finding anyone in particular.

What did you expect from the gay man with a locker room fetish? Emmett chuckled in pure amusement as he closed in on Edward’s unconcealed glee; the guy had a grin about a mile wide. Fucking hell, he is adorable!

The doctor spotted Emmett first, smiled, and pointed Edward’s shoulders head-on for Emmett. Edward’s eyes popped wide open as they landed on Emmett for the first time, giving Emmett a clear view and good, long look at the face he’d only seen in his imagination. Warm, gold-splattered hazel eyes sat deep beneath a pair of bushy, dark auburn brows, while a long, broad nose cut a separation between the warring almond-shaped eye on one side and wispy, hooded feather on the other. The only symmetry to be found was the picture-perfect set of slightly bowed, delicate lips sitting above a chin that could have been squared off with a ruler. Who gave all those random parts the right to align into a devastatingly gorgeous face?

As he closed the distance between them, Emmett extended his right hand, ignoring the twinge in his shoulder. He unleashed his smile and shot his victim with it right between those mismatched eyes. “You must be Edward.”

Bobbling his hat and program—and dear Lord, the man had a mitt!—into his left hand, Edward clasped Emmett’s hand.

“Yes.” He barely managed to force out the word but continued after clearing his throat. “Wow, I can’t . . .” Edward shook his head and chuckled at himself. “I apologize for acting like a star-struck idiot. I didn’t want to be ‘fan boy.’ It’s just . . . I’m shaking hands with the best pitcher in the league . . . I mean, I’m shaking the actual hand that throws the pitches!”

Awww, they’re both so smitten *le sigh!* I’m always excited to see an update of Wild Pitch in my inbox and you will too if you’re readin’…

Rob Attack

Enjoy all these wonderful stories and share the ones you’ve been readin’ this week!

Happy Friday, y’all!

Rita

Night Raider

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Filed under Fan Fiction Recs, Rita01tx

Random Rita ~ When Edward Brings More to the Table than Just Mind Readin’!

Wet Rob Avi

Good afternoon, ladies!

For those of you who have not yet discovered Dinia Steel, you are in for such a treat!

Introduced to me by the fabulous Bornonhalloween last year on Facebook, this dear lady has quite a few fics listed on her profile. However, I’ve only recently joined the party with Edward Cullen FBI Special Agent and Psychic, now COMPLETE!

Rob Attack

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9626040/1/Edward-Cullen-FBI-Special-Agent-and-Psychic

Edward Cullen is the unacknowledged grandson of Harry Houdini from whom he’s inherited strong psychic abilities. Together with his closest friends: a Hoodoo man, two Witches from the Louisiana Swamps and an honest to God Guardian Angel, they work to solve crimes that ordinary law enforcement is unable to solve. A/H Edward, Bella, Sam, Angela, Lauren mostly. B E eventually

Rated: Fiction  M – English – Supernatural/Drama –  Bella, Edward, Leah, Sam – Chapters: 32   – Words: 52,245 – Reviews: 856 – Favs: 172 – Follows: 331 – Updated: Mar 16 – Published: Aug 24, 2013 – Status: Complete – id: 9626040

{BTW, I WANT that houseboat LMAO!}

A string of unsolved murders brings Edward, Sam, Angela and Lauren to LA where they will assist Detective Bella Swan who has been assigned to the case by a disgruntled superior who expects her to fail! Like Bella, you will need to suspend your beliefs and dive headlong into the occult world to find the culprit and bring him to justice!

Rob Attack

So, even though the good guys win in the end, the story isn’t over! After all, Edward and Bella still need to make that love connection we all look forward to with such antici…….pation LOL!

Therefore, I will be followin’ the sequel with bated breath!!!

Rob Attack

Banner by: Chandrakanta FanFiction.  She even managed to get Bella’s cat, Gloria Swanson, in the picture LOL!

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/10204063/1/Edward-Cullen-Friends-Down-on-the-Bayou

Sequel to Edward Cullen, FBI Special Agent & Psychic – Edward Cullen is still an FBI Special Agent now visiting his friends, Sam, Angela and Lauren, who own a house boat in the Atchafalaya Basin, with Bella Swan who’s no longer with the LAPD. The plan is to start a detective agency with Bella as a full partner. What strangeness will they find in the Louisiana Swamps.

Rated: Fiction  M – English – Supernatural/Mystery –  Angela, Bella, Edward, Sam  – Words: 1,876 – Reviews: 9 – Favs: 9 – Follows: 21 – Published: 4h ago – id: 10204063

Oh, boy! Just finished the first chapter and I’m already grippin’ my chair to keep my seat!

Happy Friday, y’all!

Rita

Night Raider

22 Comments

Filed under Fan Fiction Recs, Rita01tx

Sensual Sunday ~ The Cuteness Factor!

WARNING: If you’re readin’ this at work, you might wanna wait til you get home…just sayin’!

Don’t know ’bout you, ladies, but I feel the need to exercise our Rob given right to PERV!

These pics have been burnin’ a hole in my pocket for a while now, and I do believe it’s the perfect time to share!

It wasn’t until recently that I found out who was doin’ these, but I remember laughin’ my ass off the first time I saw Jayme DuRob puttin’ herself right where we all want to be…in the photo with Rob!!!

Jayme has done this in the cutest way imaginable {and the perviest…just wait for it} !!!

What? No itsy bitsy teeny weeny purple polka-dot bikini, darlin’?  {Hell’n I should talk…gave up wearin’ bikini’s years ago LOL!}

Ride ‘im, Jayme!  Wooeeeee!!!  {I cursed and blessed the fuckin’ paps in the same breath that day, ’cause there wasn’t any way in hell I wasn’t gonna watch The Pretty havin’ the time of his life!}

It ain’t easy gettin’ Rob’s attention, is it sweetie?  Anyone who’s ever stood in line for him can testify to that LOL! {Anyone else findin’ yourself livin’ vicariously through “ME”? GAW…just the chance to stroke that face…DED!!}

Now what the heck’s the name of those shoes with the red soles again? Don’t look like he’s impressed with fancy footware, angel! {Although I think HE might be makin’ a BIG impression on her butt…stop wrigglin’, darlin’ *gigglesnort!*}

I think you got his attention that time, hon…just not the kind you were lookin’ for! {Can’t tell if he’s about to scratch or sneeze LOL!}

All riiiiight! Now we’re gettin’ somewhere, darlin’!  Well, damn…Rob seems a bit distracted, though. You got any other ideas?  {Man don’t kiss with his eyes open if he’s payin’ attention, right?}

OK, good strategy! Make friends with sweet little Mackenzie! {Rob can play “Bad Daddy” with me any time!  Oh yeah, guess we’d have to play “Bad Mama” LMAO!!!  What can I say…Rob makes me FEEL young!}

Why, Jayme darlin’!  Thanks for includin’ me in your Rob encounter on the red carpet in Cannes! What? Oh, it’s not me {pouty face}, it’s your bestie SD? {Don’t have permission to use your name, SD, but you know who you are LOL!}

OMFG! Goin’ straight for the Promised Land, you pevy little hOOr?!?! {Yup! Jayme is definitely one of us LMAO! You go, girl!!!}

Damn, woman!  If that don’t get Rob’s attention, nothin’ will! {Not quite the strategy I was expectin’, but whatever works LOL!}

NipplePorn FTMFW!  I like where this is goin’, angel!!!

Smart girl!  Keep alternatin’ moves on him…his attention’s definitely on YOU!!!

Well, hell!  If SD gets a turn, I want one, too!!!

Holy Hell in a Handbasket, Jayme darlin’!  {Livin’ vicariously, livin’ vicariously, livin’ fuckin’ vicariously THUD!}{Ya’ll just hang on a minute while I go change mah drawers!}

LMAO! After all that, um…exercise, you and Rob both deserve to chillax with a nice, cold Coke! {In Texas, pop, or soda, is a Coke no matter what it is LOL!}

For those of you who are followin’ the Olympics, enjoy them with Rob and “ME!”

I’d like to thank the fabulous Bornonhalloween for suggestin’ this merry madness LOL!!!

If you aren’t readin’ her fic “Lather, Rinse, Repeat,” you’re missin’ a great story!

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7584064/1/Lather_Rinse_Repeat

Freshly graduated from Cosmetology School, Bella takes a job in a health club beauty salon called Mystique. First days on the job can be so boring…until that perfect head of hair walks in! All drabble, All human
Rated: Fiction  M – English – Romance/Drama –  Bella & Edward – Chapters: 281   – Words: 57,237 – Reviews: 13,022 – Favs: 805 – Follows: 1,210 – Updated: 07-28-12 – Published: 11-26-11 – id: 7584064

Happy Sunday, ya’ll!

Rita

41 Comments

Filed under Bel Ami, Breaking Dawn, Cosmopolis, Rob Pattinson, Sensual Sunday