Tag Archives: BruSlave

The Robgospel According to RF

*blows kisses*


   ~RF walks out onto the stage dressed in her Sunday best. She steps up to the podium and takes down the microphone. Returning to center stage, she begins to speak to the Robitorium in her best Southern Baptist, Gone ta Meetin’, Sunday Revival accent~


Ladies, nay, Sistahs! Sistahs, just why I have bought you here today is to tell you all somethin’ you may already know. But, I feel the need…I say, I feel the neeeed to share the Robgospel with ya’ll here today! Now you may already know that the word “gospel” means “the truth.” So, what we are talkin’ about ri’ chere is the Rob-truth, or the truth about Rob!


Can I get an A…man?

Dom Stance

Sistahs, as you know, this man has large hands and long fingers. Have Mercy! And with those hands he has reached across the lands, across nations, even unto the ends of the earth, to the young and the old, the rich and the poor, the angel and the h00r! He has touched us all!



My dear friends, who among you can say you have not looked into those multicolored eyes and not been affected by his stare? Has he not looked into that camera and made you feel his kiss?!


And, without the distraction of the rest of Rob’s gorgeous face *coughJawPorn* *coughLipPorn,* we are helplessly trapped…and lovin’ it! AMEN!!!



He has not looked upon you with that come hither stare and made you feel desiiiiired!


Yea, there is no escape from his wickedly sexy gaze…nor do we wish to! Can I get an AMEN!!!



Sistahs, I have come here today to preach to you about the power of this man and to confess to you that I know what you’re goin’ through! I have witnessed the power of his wonky legs!



I have seen those snow white fangs of his and wished that he truly was a vampire and that I, yes I, was his all too willing next victim! Are ya feelin’ me, now?



I too have looked upon those luscious lips and felt the call of seduction, Sistahs! I know! Indeed I know!

Melbie Toast Tumblr


Believe me when I say you are not alone! I have been there when the cameras have captured that sharp jawline and I have felt my knees go weak like my weight was supported on rubber bands!

Melbie Toast Tumblr


And, my Sistahs, have mercy, the man was blessed…I say he was blessed with the voice of an angel! An angel who was sent here to bring us great joy!


The man can make your soul dance!


He can make your heart sing!


He can make your legs weak!


He can bring your libido back from the dead!


Now, I know that not all of you are here in the Robitorium with me. I know that some of you are on the bus or in a carpool on your way to work takin’ the opportunity durin’ your ride to come get yours. I know some of you are already at work sittin’ in your office or in your cubicle sneakin’ the chance to peek at The Pretty when ya should be workin’. Some of you are at home sittin’ on your home computers stoppin’ in here to get your Rob fix for the day before you set about your chores, and some of you are in your beds with the lights out and your laptop or e-reader open and grabbin’ a gape at Mr. Sex on Legs before bed!

Melbie Toast Tumblr

My Sistahs, I also know you have one more thing in common…you’re all sittin’ there, wherever you may be, with your hand over your mouth tryin’ NOT to squee! Hear me now, Sistahs! Take that hand down! Are ya hearin’ me, Sistahs? Take that hand doooown and let it out! For this is the Robgospel and…


The Truth Shall Set You Free!


Much love to you all,




Filed under it's true, Just For Shizz and Giggles, Rob Pattinson

Sensual Sunday ~ Perfectly Imperfect!

Wet Rob Avi

Good evenin’, ladies!

Seems I recall Rob once sayin’ he didn’t photograph well unless the shot was taken from a certain angle!

Pfffft! I beg to differ!

Seriously, just look at this face…


and tell me it’s not perfect in every way!

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Well then, what is it Rob would rather hide…his nose?


Okay, there might be the slightest Hump in it!


Didn’t he say somethin’ about it bein’ broke a couple times in his youth?


Personally, I think it adds character…not that Rob needs it LOL!


While searchin’ for Rob’s Hump, it was clear to me that, in 90% of the close-ups of his face, you never notice it at all!

BeautifulRob 001

Mostly, we’re distracted by other things anyway…like FingerPorn!


*Oooh!* Or serious LashPorn *THUD!*


Can you see past the stunnin’ EyePorn?


Killer LipPorn is always a good distraction, too *DED!*


Dreamy ScruffPorn FTMFW!!!


Damned if I don’t miss Rob’s SideburnPorn *le sigh!*


If you can see The Hump for Rob’s more than awesome JawPorn, you’re a better h00r than I am LMAO!!!

Water for Elephants - UK Premiere - Inside Arrivals

Oops! Rob must think I’m tryin’ to take the Mickey outta him LOL!


{sorry…just lost my train of thought *drool!*}


What’s really rare in the world of RobPorn is a profile shot that shows the Hump!


And I have to wonder if Rob’s grown into his nose ’cause The Hump was more noticeable when he was younger and much skinnier!


Hell’n everything on his face was more prominent back then LOL!


Yeah, it took him awhile, but…


in the overall scheme of things, Rob’s hump is simply a perfect imperfection…


Ain’t nothin’ about this face I’d change!

Happy Sunday, y’all!


Night Raider


Filed under Rita01tx, Robert Pattinson, Sensual Sunday

Random Rita ~ Rob in da Hood!

Wet Rob Avi

Computer crapped out on me yesterday, ladies!

But, never fear…Rita is here!

Today, I’ll be bringin’ you loads of good RobPorn to brighten your Monday!

‘Cause who can be blue or depressed when Rob’s in da Hood???


The Carter Smith hoodie Rob’s are some of the most beautiful pics of Rob ever made!


I chose this one because it looks like Rob’s about to start an illegal street race LOL!


Here, I’m wonderin’ where the hell everyone went! He’s all by his little self…boooo!


I will forever and ever use any excuse to post and repost Bru’s dark hoodie Rob!

Edbellfan 040

Is this not the most gorgeous edit of Rob as Cedric in a hoodie for HP GoF?

Soul Brother

Goin’ for the LashPorn here, ladies! Can you blame me?


Oh, that sweet upper lip just begs to be kissed! *THUD!*

Enhanced by Verena 411

Again? Yes, please! *le sigh!*


Rob’s threadbare black t-shirt caught my eye in this one. He still wears it after all these years LOL!


JawPorn FTMFW!!!


Is there such a thing as the JawPornPout? I think I just invented it LOL!


Hell to the yeah…a freakin’ close-up!!!


LashPorn and EyeBrowPorn make this one irresistible!


OK, I debated about includin’ this one ’cause, if we didn’t know it was Rob, he could be any ol’ playground perv and that just ain’t right!

Francies67 1005

I am completely melted by the poignant look in Rob’s eyes!


Ghostly FingerPorn LOL!


OMG! Rob really DOES have big hands, doesn’t he?


Some pics of Rob are classic….


and some are iconic!


While some are destined to become classic…


or iconic! Sweet Jesus, this one has it all…just look at those luscious lips and shy boy eyes! *SWOON!*


Rob’s Mona Lisa smile…top that, Leonardo {da Vinci} LOL!


I really wish Da Vinci was alive today to paint Rob! {Oooh! Rob as Michaelangelo’s David? I think I’ve seen a manip of that somewhere!}


Besides a blindin’ smile, I’m totally goin’ for the ChestHairPorn!!!

Robelied 007

The only thing more lethal than Rob in a hoodie is Rob in a hoodie while wearin’ a beanie! *DED!*

Happy Monday, y’all!


Night Raider


Filed under Monday Madness, Rita01tx, Robert Pattinson, Shamwow anyone?, Stunning

Sensual Sunday ~ The Art of Seduction!

Wet Rob Avi

Good evenin’, ladies!

It goes without sayin’ that Rob could give lessons in the Art of Seduction, but I’m not here to give away any of his trade secrets!

No, I’m here to wallow in the sensual beauty that is Rob and I’m takin’ you with me!

NEED to be seduced all over again…

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’cause I’ve been feelin’ kinda neglected since Rob’s been in ninja mode!

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With The Rover his only film in the can so far this year….


it could be AGES until he’s on the promo tour!

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Somethin’ along the lines of the Cosmopolis promo tour would be ideal!


I wouldn’t wish for him to be subjected to the intense fuckery that encompassed promotin’ the Twilight Saga ever again!

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Although, WE got an epic amount of RobPorn out of the deal…


I don’t think it was all that much fun for Rob!


Well, except maybe for some of the nicer fan encounters!


The quiet, respectful fans who’d show up late at night around his hotel…

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hopin’ for a glimpse,  a kind word…acknowledgement, if you will…


and an autograph…better yet, a photo!


Rob DOES appreciate his fans, I’m sure!


And, boy, do we appreciate him!


We appreciate everythin’ he does for us…


it’s just that we miss him!


Maybe, if we’re lucky…


some charity event or other will touch his heart enough to attend!


Oh, my! Rob in a suit again after all this time?


That would be such a treat for us…


his 1%!  You remember? He said if only 1% of his Twilight fans followed him forward…


he would consider himself lucky!

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Ha! No luck about it!  We’d follow our man to hell and back!

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All he ever has to do is ask!

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All he ever has to do is give US even 1% of his attention!

MelbieToast FiftyShades 001

Just let us know what your own way is, darlin’, and you can have it!

Oops!  I mighta got off track LOL! But I sure do feel a whole lot better, don’t you?

Happy Sunday, y’all!


Night Raider


Filed under Rita01tx, Robert Pattinson, Sensual Sunday

Random Rita ~ Naughty Boy!

Wet Rob Avi


I’ve been sittin’ on this one, wonderin’ if I should tell you about a very naughty boy this Bru gif reminds me of from the good ol’ days of my youth LOL!

Now, since I KNOW you iz all just as pervy as I am, guess I’m allowed LOL!

Seems my roommate’s boyfriend was throwin’ a party for his frat brothers and and their girls. By the end of the evenin’, bodies in various states of undress were strewn all around his apartment.

Still standin’, but weavin’ on his feet, she was tryin’ to get him to go to bed but, before she could drag him away from the livin’ room, he whipped IT out, grabbed hold, and surveyed the room.

This is a direct quote:

BruSlave OscarRob

“Take a look around, Big Boy! See if you missed anyone!”

{Accordin’ to her, that was not an inaccurate description!}

I can totally see those words runnin’ through Rob’s mind in this gif LMAO!!!

Happy Thursday,


Night Raider


Filed under Because I CAN!, Rita01tx, Robert Pattinson

Sensual Sunday ~ Slave for Rob!

Welcome back, angelz!

{BTW, I DID finally find the JaPEEN photo and posted it on last week’s Sensual Sunday ~ Rob…Big in Japan!  Run back and snag it for your RobPorn collection, if you don’t already have it LOL!!}

Those of you who play on tumblr know there are some great photo editors / enhancers out there and, although no one can touch our beloved MelbieToast and the fabulous Jules, I’d like to introduce you to SlaveforRob (aka BruSlave)…master photo enhancer extraordinaire!

This was the first one I ever saw and thought it was Melbie’s cause I snagged it off her tumblr {sorry Melbie & BruSlave} and didn’t see the BruSlave tag at the top left corner!  I was also thrown off the scent by the strange tag at the bottom right corner.

Needless to say, this is what I see when I crank up my compter at work every day!!!!!

It’s what she does with his eyes that gets me every time!

Or perhaps it’s her subtle use of color and softness…

But even her black ‘n whites have something intriguing about them…

I almost didn’t include this one, but Rob looks so happy here, I couldn’t resist…

Bru went a little darker with this one, but it totally works…

Aw hell! Rob’s precious lips…*THUD!*

Lips AND eyes??? KILL ME NOW!

Even Bru couldn’t resist Rome Rob!!

FingerPorn from the WFE premier in Barcelona FTMFW!!

Ah, Tybert…it is Tybert, isn’t it? Yeah, it is!

Love Rob’s expression in this one…someone must have posed a tough question!

Bru greatly improved on this photo from the Carter Smith 2010 photoshoot…

Couldn’t very well leave Rob’s “come hither” stare behind when I was choosing which ones to post, now could it??

Bru outdid herself with these next 2 photos…can’t breathe!!!

Seriously! Can’t breathe…HELP!?!?!

Aaaah! *deep breath*  That’s better! 

I spent what felt like hours in Bru’s tumblr archive last night and snagged over 60 photos before my eyes gave out.  Rob being the subject, it was f*cking tough trying to decide which ones to post!! 

That being said, I’ll leave you with just one more….

Are we not ALL Slaves for Rob????

Happy Sunday, ya’ll!



Filed under Addicted, Artistic Genius!, Breathless, Fingerporn, Rob Pattinson, Sensual Sunday