Tag Archives: Cosmopolis

Rob Roles

*A Selection of Rob's Roles*

*A Selection of Rob’s Roles*

Let’s roll on through the Summer with Rob Roles.  We are usually all about Edward here on FanFiction Fridays, but this week he has been joined by a few other fascinating characters who we have been kindly introduced to by Rob.  A big, warm welcome to Cedric, Tyler, Art, Eric and Jacob as they make their FFF debut.

Welcome wishes and thanks go to the gorgeous and talented Planetblue for joining us today – it’s a pleasure and honour to have you here.


*Reviews by Cared*


Finding Himself by Minisinoo


Finding Himself ~ The-Boy-Who-Almost-Died has to figure out what it means that he didn’t. Harry’s tumultuous 5th year at Hogwarts is Cedric’s 7th and final. Bound together by shared trauma, both boys fall under Ministry suspicion … Who is Cedric Diggory? Cedric!Lives AU

Rated: Fiction M – English – Suspense/Romance – Cedric D. & Hermione G. – Chapters: 40 – Words: 350,952 – Reviews: 665 – Favs: 1,022 – Follows: 184 – Updated: 11-19-08 – Published: 10-13-08 – Status: Complete – id: 4594634

I’m so excited to share my love of this story with you today…it’s one of my all-time top 5 favourite fics.  Needless to say, the other 4 places are taken by beloved Twilight stories, you know, I even surprised myself by ranking another fic genre so highly.  Now that I think about it, I know why this magnificent novel, yes, novel, for that’s what it is, earned that coveted position.  I was stunned when I first read this story a few years ago, and the feelings invoked by it have not faded from my memory.  I’ve got to be honest here and confess to you, while I read and enjoyed all the Harry Potter books and saw all the films, it was the lure of Cedric that initially drew me to Finding Himself.  Don’t judge me – you cannot deny he was gorgeous in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. LOL


There are many reasons why Finding Himself is one of my favourites, but what stands head and shoulders above the others is the brilliant presentation of the absolutely beautiful love story depicted between Cedric and Hermione. Honestly, it rivals that of Edward and Bella, and in fact, in some ways it’s a lot healthier.  The romance is sweet, can be fun, and as they fall deeply in-love they remain their own people.  I admire the way they grow as individuals as they overcome their problems, and how their friendship with others is also enriched as their relationship develops.  The lemons in this fic are lovely, loving and imperative…as they say, it’s always the quiet ones!  “The Room of Requirement” comes in pretty handy, js.  Maybe I’m wearing rose lemon tinted glasses here because I’m so behind their relationship and truthfully, I’m in love with their love story.  Have a look at their first kiss…

He leaned back in and she really wished he’d just kiss her. She could feel his breath on her lips as he said, “Not in the least. Why do you think I asked you to Hogsmeade? Maybe they’ll leave me alone when they see I’m already very, very…very…taken.”

And she felt his mouth brush hers, faint as butterfly wings. It almost wasn’t a kiss, but it shook her from the roots of her hair to the ends of her toes. Then he was pulling away yet again. “Don’t do that,” she said, reaching out to grip the back of his neck and yank his head down forcefully. This time, there was no almost touch. His mouth hit hers hard; he’d nearly overbalanced and had to recover himself. Then she forgot about books and lockets and nicknames, and everything, really. Cedric Diggory knew how to give a kiss, all lips, a little tongue and complete immersion in the moment. It was very different from kissing Viktor. (And maybe she shouldn’t compare them, but couldn’t help it.)

Viktor had kissed like a Seeker, and she was the Snitch – elusive, precious, delicate . . . but his goal. His passion had overwhelmed, even if she’d never felt pressured to give him more than kisses. She’d felt flattered, swept off her feet, but not quite his equal, really.

Cedric kissed like it was a conversation – give and take, exploratory, sensual, even a bit sloppy because he wasn’t thinking of how it looked, only how it felt. He tried things that might have made her laugh – like sucking her tongue or nibbling her lower lip – but which turned her inside out instead. Cedric kissed like somebody who wanted to be kissed back.

If you are familiar with the Harry Potter series you will recognise Finding Himself as an AU rewrite of the Order of the Phoenix with a different focus and new storylines perfectly interwoven with the original.  In this world, Cedric didn’t die in the graveyard – he was hit by a dreadful debilitating curse that will eventually leave him paralysed.  18 year-old Cedric and the 16 year-old Harry have formed an unlikely friendship as they are forever bound by their shared nightmare encounter with *lowers voice* he who shall not be named.  The usual shenanigans still go on at the Ministry though, and the vile Professor Umbridge, in all her pink-suited glory, is still a sicko – this time Cedric is top of her most-wanted list.  Dumbeldore’s Army is still formed, as is S.P.E.W. – you couldn’t leave out that unfortunately named society.  The history and the ethos of the House of Hufflepuff is shown and it becomes obvious why it’s a House to be proud of…why it’s the House of a Hogwart’s Champion.


If you are not at all familiar with the world of Harry Potter, never mind, you don’t need to be.  Simply enjoy it as a story of “coming of age” set against the backdrop of a tumultuous time in the world, a time of parallel crises for both Muggles* and wizards.  A classic love story of two young people who hail from completely different backgrounds.  It’s about friendships and family bonds, and standing up for who and what you believe in.  It’s the tale of a noble young man hit by personal tragedy, falling in-love for the first time, being challenged to do the right thing…it’s the story of a young man Finding Himself.

*non-magical people

Story trailer video by Handmaiden Ande


Sequel can be found here, and one-shots here and here.



Infinite Visibility by TheFicChick


Infinite Visibility ~ “Bella, I’m not perfect.” “I’ve loved perfect before, and he broke me anyway.” (A “Twilight”/”Remember Me” crossover.)

Rated: Fiction M – English – Drama – Chapters: 8 – Words: 45,297 – Reviews: 590 – Favs: 330 – Follows: 455 – Updated: 07-07-13 – Published: 04-13-13 – id: 9198986

Infinite Visibility

We’ll let blood build a bridge over mountains draped in stars

I’ll meet you on the ridge between these worlds apart

We’ve got this moment now to live, then it’s all just dust and dark

Let’s let love give what it gives.”

TheFicChick says, “I play around with timelines a little bit here. In this story, the events of ‘Twilight’ and ‘New Moon’ take place in 1999, not in the 2000s, which is how that universe intersects with the ‘Remember Me’ universe.” Well, I say the universes of Twilight and Remember Me do more than intersect, they blend seamlessly together and they become a perfect whole.  Infinite Visibility is a wonderful and believable love story between Tyler and Bella set against the perfect mesh of canon from both original stories – my hat is off to TheFicChick and her way with words for achieving this so masterfully.

Edward pulled his New Moon disappearing trick and eventually Bella moved on with her life, as per his request.  She matured and developed into a lovely young woman and her desire for a complete change, a concrete jungle, led her to New York to attend college.  Edward has not been forgotten – her scars run much deeper than the physical one James inflicted in Twilight – but, with time and new experiences comes the epiphany that Edward was right…

That night is the first night since September that she dreams of Edward, the ethereal, self-proclaimed demon standing against a dreary backdrop, orchestrating his own isolation.

This is the last time you’ll ever see me. I won’t come back.

It’s the first night that she dreams the dream through and doesn’t wake up screaming.

It will be like I never existed. I promise.

It’s the first time in all the times she’s had the dream that she’s still standing when he walks away.

You just don’t belong in my world, Bella.

It isn’t until she’s bumping along in a cab headed for JFK the following morning that the realization comes: he no longer belongs in hers, either.

One thing about Bella that has not changed, however, is her love for the written word, and so she is enticed to the Strand Bookstore by its claim to have eighteen miles of books, only to receive the shock of her life when she asks…

“Excuse me; do you have Virgil’s Doomed Love?”

The boy turns to face her, and she sucks in a breath. At first glance, he’s too similar, too close a replica, too familiar, and all of the contentment that had cocooned her like cotton is torn away, leaving her feeling as though she’s been stripped and sucker-punched. She stares at him for a moment, mouth agape, before spinning and dashing up the long aisle, hearing a faint “What the hell?” coming from the boy behind her as she flees. Darting around the tables near the entrance and nearly tripping over a stroller near the checkout counter, she finally bursts through the exit and onto the crowded sidewalk.

“Watch it,” a guy with a steaming paper cup of coffee mutters as he sidesteps her, and she mutters an apology as she takes in gulping breaths, clutching one of the carts of discounted books with her bare hand, the ice-cold metal burning the skin of her palm. She lets the dull ache in her hand ground her as she navigates a sea of sensation: she feels unsettled, blindsided, as if she’s seen a ghost. It’s impossible. Patently impossible, because while the moment that she’d stared into the stranger’s face was fleeting, it was long enough for her to absorb details: the all-too-human flush of his cheeks, the blue-green of his eyes. Just a likeness, she tells herself as her breathing and her heartbeat try to regulate themselves. That’s all.

“Hey.” The voice floats over her shoulder, and her still-stuttering heart picks up the tempo, now positively hammering against her ribs as if fighting for its freedom. “Are you okay?” the look-alike asks, and she turns, half-convinced that her momentary vision had been a trick of dim lighting. Those blue-green eyes narrow, a heavy brow creased in concern.

Blue-green eyes, she wills herself to remember. Not gold. It is this detail she latches onto as she nods, but the boy is still frowning. “Are you sure? Because you kind of look like hell.”

A bark of surprised laughter escapes her lips as she stares at his face, and if she needed further assurance that the person before her was far removed from his vampire doppelganger, those rather blunt words were it.

The Edward look-a-like…who eventually persuades her to meet him for coffee… is none other than the utterly charming Tyler Hawkins.  This imperfect human is one of the good guys, he has a sensitive soul and even with a lot of baggage – or maybe because of it, he is perfect for Bella.  Their understanding of the other’s pain and the tender emotional connection they develop is lovely to witness.  To quote Kelsey, Bella’s roommate, “Every great love affair starts with something as innocuous as coffee,” and you know what – I think she is right.

This enchanting and sensuous story is creeping slowing towards September and I’m reminded of the powerful prologue (in an unknown POV), which causes me to pose as yet unanswered questions.

Stepping toward the nearest of the two square pools, I can feel the faintest spray on my face, very nearly unnoticeable. Closing my eyes, I let my hipbones rest against the bronze parapet, breathe in the faintly damp air. When I open them, a barely-there rainbow appears in the mist cast off by the falling water. The sky is a perfect, robin’s egg blue, its brilliance reflected in the gleaming new architecture bordering this now-open space. Mirrored glass reflecting light, reflecting perfect blue skies, reflecting billowing white clouds and bright spring sunshine. Perfect tranquility where there was once chaotic devastation.

I squint as I stare upward, the parapet unforgiving against my bony hips, and to either side of me, people reach out and touch engraved names with single fingertips and entire palms. I don’t touch the name etched in front of me; instead, I bring my palm up to my sternum and press it flat against the space where my heart beats steadily in my chest beneath wool coat and fleece top and cotton bra before sliding it down and beneath my arm, above xylophone ribs and inked skin. My face still tipped toward the sky, I close my eyes and remember. A perfect blue canvas marred by twin curls of acrid smoke, then a billowing cloud of dust, the everyday sounds of the city yielding to the roar of destruction and pealing screams of terror.

As I stand blind, hand registering only the faintest echo of my own heartbeat, I do what I’ve made it my life’s mission not to do: I look back.

I remember.

I don’t mean to sound cryptic; I genuinely have no idea how this story will end and TBH, I’m a little afraid that there may be heartbreak ahead – for me, as well as the characters.  Regardless, I’ve been captivated by this love story and nothing is going to stop me reading.  Don’t let it stop you either.





How To Be More by deb24601


How To Be More ~ Art, from How to Be, toils at the grocer’s, missing his ex-girlfriend, Jessica. He’s amazed when she shows up and determined to be the ‘more’ she’s asking for. Entry in Robnipulations You Fic it We Nip it Contest. One-shot.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Humor – Words: 5,393 – Reviews: 12 – Favs: 18 – Follows: 6 – Published: 07-12-10 – Status: Complete – id: 6134646

The story starts gently with Art at work a supermarket. Please note – I am not fantasising over Art’s delectable derriere delightfully protruding up in the air as he leans over to stick his head in the freezer.


*clears throat* As I was saying – this is how the fic opens…

Another day at the mind-numbing, soul-sucking grocer’s. Doing a job a monkey could do. Stocking shelves, pricing merchandise, and trying to avoid thinking… about Jessica. She’d dumped me, kicking me out of her apartment in the process. My parents aren’t terribly happy to have me home again. My music isn’t going well either and my mates are always frustrated with me.

Apparently I’m not much fun to be around.

Oh, Art!  If you’ve had the pleasure of seeing the film How to Be, you are probably nodding your head in agreement and smiling in recognition, as this is so typical of adorkable Art’s behaviour; deb24601 captures him perfectly in all his lovable quirkiness.  The How to Be film tagline ‘sometimes we all need a little help’ must have struck a chord with the lovely deb24601, as she, in a stroke of genius, uses Jessica (the ex-girlfriend – not to be confused with Twi Jessica of the IKR fame) as a conduit to do just that.  She presents him with a challenge, boosts his self-esteem, and then she sits lies back and reaps the reward. Lucky lady (Jessica not Deb) as Art rises magnificently to the occasion IYKWIM!

This hilarious one-shot has pervy old dears, and a hard, frozen penis, but even that’s not enough to stop this Art from being hot!  Now, there is a sentence I never thought I’d write. This Art is definitely more!

*reaches for frozen penis err…fan*




Imprudence and Gratification by Hank’s Lady

Imprudence and Gratification ~ Eric Packer, billionaire financier, is expecting his physician to give him his daily medical exam. Amusement and naughtiness ensues when Dr Black sends his son Jacob to undertake the exam instead. Slash one-shot.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Humor/Romance – Jacob & Eric P. – Words: 3,248 – Reviews: 13 – Favs: 9 – Follows: 4 – Published: 02-05-13 – Status: Complete – id: 8980853

While sitting in a darkened cinema munching on popcorn as I watched Cosmopolis for the first time, there was one question at the forefront of my mind.  No!  It wasn’t: Did Rob really pee in the limo?  Although… *snickers*


The burning question at the forefront of my admittedly, somewhat perverted mind was: How did Eric really feel about his daily rectal examination? …But then that made me wonder: Did he gain more than the satisfaction and relief of knowing his prostrate was normal?

In this hot Cosmopolis/Twilight crossover light-hearted one-shot, the young, gay, newly qualified, Dr. Jacob Black climbs in to the limo to perform the personal procedure as it slowly makes its way across town.

Clearing my throat slightly, I lowered his shorts to uncover firm buttocks, snapped on the gloves quickly and applied lube to the fingers of my right hand. My cock twitched slightly and I grimaced, trying to remember I was a professional and the sexy naked ass in front of me was part of my job.

Raising my left hand, I tentatively spread his buttocks to reveal the tight puckered hole, noting the area leading towards his scrotum was hairless and smooth as if he had carefully shaved it – or paid someone to do it for him. I circled his hole with a lubed finger and noticed him stiffen slightly, thighs tensing.

“Breathe out and relax, Sir, I’ll try to make this as painless as possible,” I said quietly.

‘And as pleasurable as I can manage.’ I squashed the amusing thought and reminded myself again that I was a doctor.

Mmm!  Who can resist a doctor with such a good beside manner? *cough cough*
r eric

If you want to discover how Hank’s Lady’s luscious vision of Eric feels about his err…close encounter with Jacob, hop in the back of the limo to take the ride too – it has blackened out glass, js.




Water for Elephants Oneshot by that kiwi chick

Water for Elephants Oneshot ~ “Water for the elephant, or alcohol?” Jacob asked with a smirk, balancing the bottle in one hand and the water bucket in the other. Rosie did her elephant smile and pointed at the alcohol with her long trunk” Jacob/Marlena, Walter their son & Rosie fluff!

Rated: Fiction K+ – English – Family/Friendship – Jacob & Marlena – Words: 1,182 – Reviews: 12 – Favs: 26 – Follows: 3 – Published: 05-24-11 – Status: Complete – id: 7017584

Have you ever watched that few seconds of home video at the end of the Water for Elephants film and thought Jacob holding Walter was the cutest thing ever?  I know I have.  This sweet and fluffy one-shot showcases a few precious minutes of everyday life for the Jankowski family; it’s just how I imagined it to be.  *Happy sigh!*

“Whoa this is so high!” The small child cried, clapping his hands together and wriggling around on top of the massive animal he was sitting on. “Good girl, Rosie.” He praised, patting her wrinkled grey shoulder.

Marlena smiled and snuggled closer into her husband’s side, feeling the weight of his chin on top of her head and his breath in her hair. He ran his hands down her side, letting them come to rest on her swollen belly. She placed her smaller hand atop his and smiled at the look of awe on his face when the baby kicked at his hand.

Queenie ran in circles around Rosie’s sitting form, trying to grab the attention she wasn’t getting. Jacob and Marlena were too wrapped up in each other and Walter was still babbling on to the huge elephant and hugging her neck.

“Come here, Queenie.” Jacob commanded, chuckling at the sparkle in the old dog’s eye as she leapt into his waiting arms. Her little stub of a tail wiggled back and forth and she nuzzled into her owner’s neck and snuggled into his arms.

*Made by twvezonika*

*Made by twvezonika*

that kiwi chick has captured the warm and fun-loving characters of Jacob, Marlena, and Rosie perfectly.  While it’s lovely to see the obvious deep emotions between all the humans and animals, it’s our beloved Rosie and her antics who steals the scene.  This one-shot is very short at 1,182 words, but that is all it took for that kiwi chick to put a smile upon my face.




Last, but definitely not least, is our beloved Edward, after all…

that’s why we are here.



*Review by Planetblue*

One Night Stand in Locked Down London by BlueIsSoul

*Made by Shahula*

*Made by Shahula*

One Night Stand in Locked Down LondonA disinterested, paranoid girl. A wealthy journalist with only one thing on his mind. Too much alcohol. A serial killer on the loose. Here’s the problem with a one-night stand in locked-down London.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Humor/Romance – Chapters: 4 – Words: 15,126 – Reviews: 215 – Favs: 328 – Follows: 669 – Updated: 06-15-13 – Published: 05-13-13 – id: 9290753

When BlueIsSoul asked me to pre-read her new story, she directed me towards an article that acted as the inspiration and appeared on Esquire.com. The piece basically centers on a guy who had the misfortune of finding himself after a one night stand unable to sneak out of the other party’s apartment during the terrifying lock down the recent bombing at the marathon caused. While the story surrounding the event is of course a tragedy, the article showed the odder side of what Boston inhabitants were going through while unable to leave wherever they had found themselves.

This got BlueIsSoul thinking. What if a British, cocky bloke of a fellow got stuck with a girl he thinks might be just this side of crazy, and caught in a similar situation? In this case, it’s an escaped serial killer that’s on the loose and wreaking havoc for the citizens of London, who are out and about, unaware they are about to be trapped.

We’ve read of the player Edward, and the arrogant Edward, but this Edward is in a class all his own. There are rules he feels men should follow, and he’s the best of the best.  He’s completely unaffected by the situation surrounding him and in fact, out drinking with his buddy Emmett when he finds himself in a bit of a predicament.

Edward’s problem is the girl that Emmett’s hook up has left him with; a Bella so paranoid about everything, she’s consumed with the thought that the serial killer is lurking behind every corner, ready to strike.

“Charlie – my dad – tried to take me to the doctor, because he thought it could be a real issue or something. I don’t go though. I mean, I’ll be labeled, and that’s when things become concrete. It’s almost like then I’ll really have something, you know what I mean?”

“Like a diagnosis?”


“…of paranoia?”

She nods. “Yeah.”

I take a sip from my pint. What do you say to someone who’s kind of admitted they choose not to go the doctor because they think they might possibly be crazy?


So I say just that.


“Then I fixate… on things, people,” she says conversationally, “men mainly.”


My psycho-chick-homing-device explodes.


There are alarms blaring and shit.

Get set, Edward. Go.

Run for your life.

I wipe my forehead with my palm. I’m a little sweaty. All of a sudden I think I’m finding it difficult to breathe.

I’m still here though.

He knows he should leave. He knows he should wipe his hands of her and follow Rule #3, the most important of his rules: You shall make sure that she is relatively sane before you take old one eye to the optometrist.

What ensues is some of the most fun, effortless banter I’ve read in a long time. An Edward who is strangely fascinated by a girl who seems so uninterested in him she’s quite disdainful towards the bugger, who she assumes the worst of based on very few facts and appearance alone.

Edward’s fascination grows as the banter turns more…sexual in nature, as Bella and Edward continue to drink long after their friends have left.

“Tell me,” she commands, like it’s her privileged right to know these things.

“It’s something I’ve always thought was real hot you know, kinda like–”

Come on Edward, fucking enlighten me before I fall into a coma. Stop with the pathetic, pussiness.

I catch a hint of a smile before it turns into her usual someone-just-killed-my-cat expression.

She’s teasing now.

“I like a girl with a potty mouth. Keep it coming angel.”


“What about it?” I’m so wity.

After some great back and forth I’ll leave for you to discover, and making her work for it, Edward finally admits to the good stuff.


I shake myself out the pep talk and gaze into her unsteady eyes.

“Okay. Um, so let’s say there are a lot of people who are there, but they don’t necessarily have to you know, participate.”

I watch her reaction, amused. Her eyes are now large saucers. “What do you mean?” It’s a whisper.

“Being watched when having sex.” My voice is gritty. “Rough, hard sex. There’s something illicit, something sexy about it. It turns me on.”


Bella, being Bella, doesn’t give in too easy, but Edward is persistent. The first chapter gives you a glimpse of what kind of a night he’s got in store for him (and a taste of the odd fantasy Bella has) when he pursues the one night stand against his better judgment. You, like me, will be enthralled with the journey and dying for the city to lock down already.

BlueIsSoul’s writing is snappy, fresh, and purposeful. Being from London allows for the fun British tinge she’s given this story, something I’m particularly enjoying. It surrounds everything, and places you directly on that side of the pond. You can practically feel the warm pint on your tongue and smell the fish and chips on the table as Edward and Bella get ready to have a night neither will be able to forget (or leave, as the title suggests).

Even though it’s only going to be a few chapters in length, it promises to pack a punch.



*Made by Betti Gefecht*

*Made by Betti Gefecht*

Pull your big-girl-knickers out of the drawer ladies, and put them on!

The Lemonade Stand are hosting a one-shot Angst Contest and are accepting entries until July 30th.

Click here for the details: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/4769441/

Follow them on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TLSAngstContest



So, what’s been getting you all hot and bothered this week?  

There is a gentle rock in the hammock with wet Rob for everyone who shares!



Filed under Because he gives us a Reason to smile., Bel Ami, Breaking Dawn, Cosmopolis, Edward A M Cullen, Fan Fiction Friday, Fan Fiction Friday Guest Review, Fan Fiction Recs, FFF Library, FFF Posts, Georges DuRoy, How to Be, Little Ashes, New Moon, Remember Me, Rob Pattinson, Robert Pattinson, The Rover, Twilight, WFE, Writing

Sensual Sunday ~ Treats from Toronto!

Wet Rob Avi*

Afternoon, lovies!

One or two of these pics crossed my path on tumblr the other day and I knew right away we were gonna need to see lots MORE!!!

Star date: June 4, 2012

Location: Toronto

Event:  Cosmopolis Press Conference

Don’t know that I need to add much narration today…


I mean, how could I improve on that sweet glow of success on Rob’s face?


So we’re just gonna perv on every arched eyebrow…


Every wicked little grin…


Every thumb and knuckle…


And every {almost} clinched fist!


We’re gonna count chest hairs… {ps: all these photos are HUGE if you click them to full screen! Ideal for countin’ chest hairs LMAO!!!}


And eyelashes!!!


Unless we get distracted by FingerPorn…


And EyebrowPorn!!!


Are we crazy about this man?


Well, duuuh!!!


There’s nothin’ we love more…


Than spendin’ our otherwise borin’ Sundays…


Gazin’ at the glory that is Rob!


{Hang on…gotta count chest hairs!}


OK, I’m back LOL!


Remember how we freaked out last year during a RobDrought?


How WOULD we survive without him?


Well, we all learned to survive and even thrive…


Cause not only do we have a huge stash of past RobPorn, but the absolute certainty that there WILL be more in the future!

Happy Sunday, y’all!


Night Raider


Filed under Cosmopolis, Rita01tx, Robert Pattinson, Sensual Sunday

Sensual Sunday ~ But He’s Not There!

Wet Rob Avi

No, I’m not referrin’ to the fact that Rob’s been pretty much off grid since the last promo tour for BD2.

It’s actually somethin’ I noticed in a photo I came across recently that intrigued me enough to go searchin’ for more!

Seems that, even in the midst of chaos, Rob goes missin’…in his head!

For just a split second, his beautiful eyes go all blank and unfocused and I bless the photographers who capture that because it’s pure Rob, which is a thing of beauty!

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You know, I just this second realized Rob was chewin’ on a plastic bottle cap LOL! Wonder if HE’s even aware of what he’s doin’?

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This mighta been on The View and I sure don’t blame him for zonin’ out on those cacklin’ hens {tryin’ to be polite here}!

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Never endin’, repetitive questions would bore me to death, too LOL!

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The results of Rob’s photoshoots are endlessly fascinatin’ for us, but Rob might not find the process all that interestin’!

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If MY man stared off into the distance in the middle of fuckHAWT sex with ME, I’d…well, he wouldn’t escape unscathed! Just sayin’! {Gawd, I love Rob’s sticky up sex hair in that scene! Wish it had been my fingers makin’ it look that way!}

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I’d venture to guess Rob’s signin’ autographs here, only on autopilot LMAO!!!

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Easy to overlook that fact that Rob’s “gone” because of the JawPorn, LipPorn and FingerPorn LOL!


This is the same press conference so I don’t know why these 2 photos are givin’ him such red hair, but I like it!

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Almost missed Rob’s glazed over eyes for the DimplePorn *THUD!*

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Anyone else yearn for more “Rob as a Sex GOD” photoshoots? *DED!*

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Rob might be driftin’ away for a moment, but my eyes are rivited by LashPorn, LipPorn and the tip of that lady’s finger restin’ on his chin! I wouldn’t mind havin’ HER job…well, only for Rob!!!

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Much of Rob’s role as Tyler Hawkins in Remember Me revolved around him bein’ introverted.  Guess they found the right man for the part, ’cause it just seems to come natural to him!

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I always wondered what Rob was writin’ down in that journal! Too bad we never got a good close-up LOL!

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A quiet moment in the midst of chaos, indeed! Musta been a million people runnin’ around the set that day!

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See what I mean by pure, beautiful Rob? He doesn’t even have to try…he just IS!! *le sigh!*

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I mighta been a little dubious about includin’ this one, but decided the gratituous TongPorn was well worth keepin’ LOL!

Happy Sunday, y’all!


Night Raider


Filed under Edward A M Cullen, Rob Pattinson, Sensual Sunday, Twilight

Sensual Sunday ~ Through the Looking Glass!

Well, good afternoon, ladies!

This has been one helluva week, hasn’t it?  Were you all as shakey and nervous as I was to see Rob again, after so long?

And, all of a sudden, there he was! Girdin’ his loins, as it were, and ready to dive into promotin’ his ass off for Cosmopolis *THUD!*

Rob quote: “I don’t have awkward moments. I have an awkward life, occasionally interrupted by normalcy.”

Lookin’ all fine and fit, if a trifle thinner than I remember…AND the wonky legs are BACK!

We’ll get to the premier of Cosmopolis another time, cause I’ve got some photos in my head from the Good Morning America show that will explain the title of my post!

Arrivin’ at the GMA building, Rob was hustled from the car by his ever present security team.

But, I think Rob had failed to anticipate the hords of screamin’ fans waitin’ on him LOL!  {Aw, crap! I just spotted that triangle of Happy Trail *THUD!*}

This guy was glued to Rob’s side 24/7 the whole week! {Wonder how much weight he lost tryin’ to keep up *gigglesnort!*}

{*GAH!* TonguePorn alert!} Rob was like a vampire…feedin’ off the energy of all the adorin’ women waitin’ for a chance to grab him {they wish}!!!

Hell’n if it was me, I’d be scared shitless!  This particularly avid fan musta been stalkin’ him all over NYC, cause I spotted her when he arrived at the Museum of Modern Art for the premier, too!

And here’s what I mean by “Through the Looking Glass!” Someone took photos from outside lookin’ in and the effect gives Rob an ethereal beauty that does my head somethin’ fierce! {Bet that girl’s hands were tremblin’ so bad, it took her a lot longer to hook him up than it should have LMAO! OR, maybe she made it last as long as possible!?!?! I know I would have *snickers!*}

It must be kinda like Alice climbin’ through the lookin’ glass into an alternate reality for Rob to be yanked so abruptly from solitude to chaos in a heartbeat!

I swear, I’m seein’ stars just lookin’ at him!!!

And his adorable man giggle makes my lady bits tingle LOL!

Am I completely crazy for bein’ so Robsessed that watchin’ him do somethin’ as simple as drinkin’ a cup of coffee warms my heart? If so, then I completely own it…I AM crazy!

Don’t know ’bout you, but I’m lovin’ Rob’s longer hair! {That little forehead pluck tryin’ to escape? *squeee!*}

Imma just lose myself in Rob’s eyes for a while…

Sorry, still lost *gigglesnort!*

Could Rob be more adorable?

Why, yes he can!!!

And then, that buttfaced, swarmy presenter {don’t remember his name…don’t care to} addressed the “elephant in the room!”

“What do you want your fans to know about what’s going on in your personal life?”

Well, Rob thought about it for a second…

Looked out the window at his fans… {thank you, Sista Melbie, for this devine B/W of Rob’s profile *swoon!*}

{God, I hate that ScumDude made him so uncomfortable!}

“I guess…”

And then, our sweet man came up with the perfect answer!!!

“I want my fans to know that…Cinnamon Toast Crunch only has 30 calories a bowl.” {In case WP super minimizes these 2 gifs!}

And there you have it!  Ain’t none of our business…never has been…never will be!!!

Here’s hopin’ all you ladies in the good ol’ US of A can find a theatre near you to see Cosmopolis! Supportin’ Rob’s career is where we need to be concentratin’ all our energy!

Happy Sunday, y’all!



Filed under Cosmopolis, Fingerporn, Sensual Sunday, Stunning

Sensual Sunday ~ Rob Takin’ Toronto!

Good afternoon, ladies!

Well, Toronto was the last stop on the Cosmopolis promo tour and didn’t Rob just shine?!?!?!

Seriously, did you see him strut out onto that stage like he owned the world?  And HE DOES!!!

Star date: June 4, 2012

Location: Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Event: Cosmopolis Premier!

“Ladies and gentlemen…Mr. Robert Pattinson!” ***APPLAUSE!!!***

For the audience Q&A, Rob tried to put on his serious face and follow David’s example…

Host: So why Robert Pattinson?
David: “I knew he would be good, but I had to convince him he would be good.”

He really did…

David: “The movie is very philosophical. Philosophical observations about the nature of capitalism.” blah blah blah

But it wasn’t long…

David: “You’ve got the people you love to work with and you’re creating something and you’re killing yourself laughing.”

Before his irrepressible sense of humor had Paul Giamatti crackin’ the fuck up!

{regarding the prostate exam in the back of the limo…}
” He {David} was like, “I want to shoot it… and just cup the frame with your balls at the top.” I genuinely believed him!”

There was no stopping Rob after that!

“Wow, it’s wall-to-wall dialogue. It’s very complex. It could be great. But am I going to f*** it up?”

Not in a million years, darlin’!

{Gratuitous ThighPorn…*GAH!!!*}

We didn’t get any of that during the press conference, but we DID get some great shots of The Pretty being, well…oh, so Pretty!!!

“I’ve never really taken myself seriously as an actor.”

As self-deprecating as ever! We always knew he was a serious actor!!

“I don’t really know how accepted I am,”

Baby, we accept you unconditionally!

“It is surprising the amount of people who think I’m going to be really dumb,”

Little do these “people” know! Rob is far from dumb!

‘It’s so different to other films, and that’s one of the reasons I wanted to do it.”

Aw crap! ChestHairPorn! FingerPorn! *THUD!*

“Getting the movie, getting it to Cannes and getting the movie I got recently are three of the happiest moments of my life.”

So good to see Rob getting what he wants out of his career!

“I think he {David} heard me in the very obvious throes of a panic attack. He said, ‘When we start shooting, what will be will be.’ ”

And I just know it will be great! In fact, I just found out Cosmopolis is playing here in Holland *squeeee*!  I intend to go see it as soon as possible!!

*   *   *   *

Rob’s fine ass was draggin’ by the end of it all, so much so that he apologized to the audience for gettin’ the short end of the straw LOL! But, maybe, if we’re lucky, he’ll show up for the US premier on August 17th, either in LA or NYC!

Hmmm…well, I just might be pursuaded to make an appearance!

Hell yeah! That’s what I’m talkin’ about!

Happy Sunday, ya’ll!



Filed under Cosmopolis, RAAWWRRR, Rob Pattinson, Sensual Sunday, Stunning

Sensual Sunday ~ Rob at Cannes…need I say more!?


Good afternoon, ladies!

I don’t know ’bout ya’ll, but all the woundrous beauty and excitement of Rob’s appearances at Cannes damn near killed me!!!

My poor fingers are all twisted and swollen from lickin’ ‘n savin’ at least a bazillion photos of Rob {you too? thought so!}…

Don’t now why I wasn’t expectin’ him to show up until the Cosmopolis premier, but there he was on Wednesday, May 23rd, gettin’ off a speedboot to walk the red carpet for On The Road!

I can just hear Stephanie goin’ “Goose, goose…duck!” in her head LMAO!!! {I’d a gone for it!}

Mr. Sex-on-Legs lookin’ so cool comin’ down those rocky steps! {Do try and keep up, Nick!}

Wonder how much of Rob’s quiet confidence came from havin’ the ever watchful Dean at his side?

Rob’s regal profile! {JawPorn *DED!*}

You know me and my love affair with shadowed photos highlightin’ Rob’s gorgeous eyes! {*le sigh!*}

Not in favor of hidin’ those eyes, but Rob in RayBans on a Red background? Triple R treat!

{*Squeee!*} I’d been waitin’ for Rob to bless us with his ducky lips and he didn’t let me down LOL!

Despite all the madness, Rob has an air of innocence you won’t find in any other so-called celebrity on the planet!!!

The cameras love Rob…we love Rob! What’s not to love? {Couldn’t resist the happy tail LOL!}

Then Friday, May 25th! FINALLY! The premier of Cosmopolis! Rob was super busy that day, startin’ with…


Rob didn’t get much time with his fans at Cannes, but at least some of them got to see him {lucky hOOrs!}

Wish I had room to share them all with you, but here are some of my favorites!

Rob and David Cronenberg were thick as thieves the whole time. I think it’s safe to bet on another project together!!

Sinfully gorgeous!

So not leavin’ this one out! Me and my shadows again LOL!


Was Rita in shadowy heaven with these shots? Why, yes she was!!


That luscious upper lip is MINE! Gimme more, baby!

And my wish was granted…I am DONE!!!

Well, I’m runnin’ out of room here, but don’t worry! RobsFan~tasy is just itchin’ to run with Rob on the Red Carpet, so check back tomorrow for her Monday Madness post!

Oh, one last thing…saw his interview on Robsessed and it’s the best one so far. Both Rob and David speak intelligently about Cosmopolis.  BUT, you know Rob{*snickers!*}  It wasn’t on YouTube, so here’s the link.

All I can say is enjoy!

Allocine interview with Rob and David re Cosmopolis

Happy Sunday, ya’ll!



Filed under Cosmopolis, Rob Pattinson, Robsessed, Sensual Sunday

Sensual Sunday ~ Rob…Perfect in Plaid!


If there’s anything I love to see Rob wearin’, it’s plaid!  Don’t matter what color plaid…it all looks f*ckHAWT on our boy!

Well, as long as he NEVER wears plaid pants!  Those shiteous orange pants were bad enough, but PLAID?  Just…UGH!

Oh, Rita...you shouldn't have said that! Now I'll have to dig up a pair just to tease you!

Don’t do it, Rob!  I’m watching you {2 fingers pointing from my stink eyes to his twinklies}!

OK, where was I?  Oh yeah!  So, beanie Rob gave us black plaid during rehearsals for Cosmopolis …

Purple, baby! It's purple...black plaid is so boring!

I dunno, Rob…looks black to me!

Well, I'm standing by purple. And, damn it, Rita! No dissing the red pants!

Soooory!  Must be the light cause those pants look orange to me…no need to pout, but I love the LipPorn, so go ahead and purse those pretty lips at me anytime LOL!

Now, as to red, NOBODY rocks red plaid like The Pretty!

Awww, baby! One photo wasn't enough? Looks like a "scatter shot" LOL!

Rob, honey!  We could NEVER get enough of you, and you know it!!

Blue plaid is so cooool on our boy!  Love the blue plaid jacket he wore for the Vanity Fair 2009 shoot!

Hey! It was cold that day, and I really liked this jacket. Too bad they wouldn't let me keep it!

Yeah, baby!  Looks good on you {and I’d like to be all cuddled up under there against your warm chest *sigh*}!

{Thanks for the multiple Robgasms on these 2 gorgeous wallpapers, Jolori darlin’!}

Oh hell, let’s have us some more blue plaid Rob!!

Uh, Rita? Hate to tell you, but this is check...not plaid!

WHAT? Noooo!  It’s plaid…ain’t it?  Crap, you’re right!  It’s definitely blue check.

That's what I said! Maybe you should get your eyes checked, Rita! Get it...checked?

Well, you can’t go wrong wearing blue AND red PLAID, Rob darlin’!!!

Um, Rita? Forgive me for that eyes remark? Didn't mean to hurt your feelings!

Sweetheart, I’d forgive you ANYTHING you look at me like that! {Damned ol’ Baby Boomer Cougar eyes!}

Good! Cause I was wondering what you thought of boring ol' BROWN plaid LOL!

On you, Rob?  Just looks waaarm!  {Gah! TonguePorn!  Just kill me now!!!}

So, brown plaid doesn't turn you off?

No, baby! It purely don’t! {will…not…get lost…in the EyePorn!}

Hmmm...well, what color plaid DON'T you like, Rita?

I dunno, Rob…yellow’s not really my favorite color, so maybe yellow? {GAH!! Can’t take much more LipPorn!}

Gonna have to agree with you on yellow plaid, Rita!

Aw, it ain’t THAT bad, darlin’!  But, of all the plaids, Tybert plaid is my absolute favorite!!

Tybert? What the hell is a Tybert???

Tybert is, well…Tyler Hawkins and Robert Pattinson…Tyler / Robert = Tybert.  See?

LMAO! Damn it, Rita! You crack me the f*ck up! Good thing I wasn't actually drinking this coffee!!

Oops! Well, now it’s MY turn to apologize, Rob darlin’ LOL!

Gotta run now, Rita! It's been fun...see you next week!

Thanks for dropping in, Rob!  It’s a date! {OMG!  MuffinPorn… FingerPorn… LipPorn… HairPorn FTMFW!!!}

Crap! And I had about a million more Tybert photos, too!

Happy Sunday, ya’ll!



Filed under Fingerporn, Remember Me, Rob Pattinson, Sensual Sunday, Stunning, Tybert

Helloooo Mr. Packer!

I’ll admit I was getting ready to bunker down for the upcoming Robdrought that was to be sure to come after the WFE extravaganza. I had Rob videos, Rob movies, pretzel M&M’s (thanks for that Rob. I’m addicted now!) and a two liter of Pepsi all ready to settle in. Buuut it looks like this Cosmopolis still was the start of another Robsplosion! This is no Twi movie and it certainly isn’t Summit Entertainment.

What a profile!

I have not read Cosmopolis. I tried but couldn’t get into it, British Chick Lit sounded much more appealing. I read novels, I just finished Jane Austen’s Persuasion, but this book was not my cuppa tea. Then I saw these…

Packinson knows how to smoulder

Lovin the lips!

And they just keep on coming!

I’m a little more interested in what goes on inside that limo now! I’m going to try it again. For some reason these Robvisuals always make for much more pleasant reading! Hopefully I’ll make it past the first few pages this time!


Did you guys read Cosmopolis? What did you think of it? What unspoilerish(?) things are you looking forward to?

1 Comment

Filed under Cosmopolis, Hello, Rob Pattinson