Tag Archives: HisHandsObsessed

The Robgospel According to RF

*blows kisses*

RobsFan~tasy

   ~RF walks out onto the stage dressed in her Sunday best. She steps up to the podium and takes down the microphone. Returning to center stage, she begins to speak to the Robitorium in her best Southern Baptist, Gone ta Meetin’, Sunday Revival accent~

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Ladies, nay, Sistahs! Sistahs, just why I have bought you here today is to tell you all somethin’ you may already know. But, I feel the need…I say, I feel the neeeed to share the Robgospel with ya’ll here today! Now you may already know that the word “gospel” means “the truth.” So, what we are talkin’ about ri’ chere is the Rob-truth, or the truth about Rob!

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Can I get an A…man?

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Sistahs, as you know, this man has large hands and long fingers. Have Mercy! And with those hands he has reached across the lands, across nations, even unto the ends of the earth, to the young and the old, the rich and the poor, the angel and the h00r! He has touched us all!

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My dear friends, who among you can say you have not looked into those multicolored eyes and not been affected by his stare? Has he not looked into that camera and made you feel his kiss?!

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And, without the distraction of the rest of Rob’s gorgeous face *coughJawPorn* *coughLipPorn,* we are helplessly trapped…and lovin’ it! AMEN!!!

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He has not looked upon you with that come hither stare and made you feel desiiiiired!

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Yea, there is no escape from his wickedly sexy gaze…nor do we wish to! Can I get an AMEN!!!

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Sistahs, I have come here today to preach to you about the power of this man and to confess to you that I know what you’re goin’ through! I have witnessed the power of his wonky legs!

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I have seen those snow white fangs of his and wished that he truly was a vampire and that I, yes I, was his all too willing next victim! Are ya feelin’ me, now?

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I too have looked upon those luscious lips and felt the call of seduction, Sistahs! I know! Indeed I know!

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Believe me when I say you are not alone! I have been there when the cameras have captured that sharp jawline and I have felt my knees go weak like my weight was supported on rubber bands!

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And, my Sistahs, have mercy, the man was blessed…I say he was blessed with the voice of an angel! An angel who was sent here to bring us great joy!

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The man can make your soul dance!

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He can make your heart sing!

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He can make your legs weak!

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He can bring your libido back from the dead!

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Now, I know that not all of you are here in the Robitorium with me. I know that some of you are on the bus or in a carpool on your way to work takin’ the opportunity durin’ your ride to come get yours. I know some of you are already at work sittin’ in your office or in your cubicle sneakin’ the chance to peek at The Pretty when ya should be workin’. Some of you are at home sittin’ on your home computers stoppin’ in here to get your Rob fix for the day before you set about your chores, and some of you are in your beds with the lights out and your laptop or e-reader open and grabbin’ a gape at Mr. Sex on Legs before bed!

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My Sistahs, I also know you have one more thing in common…you’re all sittin’ there, wherever you may be, with your hand over your mouth tryin’ NOT to squee! Hear me now, Sistahs! Take that hand down! Are ya hearin’ me, Sistahs? Take that hand doooown and let it out! For this is the Robgospel and…

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The Truth Shall Set You Free!

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Much love to you all,

RobsFan~tasy

ra1

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Filed under it's true, Just For Shizz and Giggles, Rob Pattinson

Random Rita ~ Rob in da Hood!

Wet Rob Avi

Computer crapped out on me yesterday, ladies!

But, never fear…Rita is here!

Today, I’ll be bringin’ you loads of good RobPorn to brighten your Monday!

‘Cause who can be blue or depressed when Rob’s in da Hood???

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The Carter Smith hoodie Rob’s are some of the most beautiful pics of Rob ever made!

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I chose this one because it looks like Rob’s about to start an illegal street race LOL!

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Here, I’m wonderin’ where the hell everyone went! He’s all by his little self…boooo!

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I will forever and ever use any excuse to post and repost Bru’s dark hoodie Rob!

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Is this not the most gorgeous edit of Rob as Cedric in a hoodie for HP GoF?

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Goin’ for the LashPorn here, ladies! Can you blame me?

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Oh, that sweet upper lip just begs to be kissed! *THUD!*

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Again? Yes, please! *le sigh!*

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Rob’s threadbare black t-shirt caught my eye in this one. He still wears it after all these years LOL!

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JawPorn FTMFW!!!

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Is there such a thing as the JawPornPout? I think I just invented it LOL!

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Hell to the yeah…a freakin’ close-up!!!

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LashPorn and EyeBrowPorn make this one irresistible!

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OK, I debated about includin’ this one ’cause, if we didn’t know it was Rob, he could be any ol’ playground perv and that just ain’t right!

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I am completely melted by the poignant look in Rob’s eyes!

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Ghostly FingerPorn LOL!

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OMG! Rob really DOES have big hands, doesn’t he?

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Some pics of Rob are classic….

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and some are iconic!

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While some are destined to become classic…

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or iconic! Sweet Jesus, this one has it all…just look at those luscious lips and shy boy eyes! *SWOON!*

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Rob’s Mona Lisa smile…top that, Leonardo {da Vinci} LOL!

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I really wish Da Vinci was alive today to paint Rob! {Oooh! Rob as Michaelangelo’s David? I think I’ve seen a manip of that somewhere!}

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Besides a blindin’ smile, I’m totally goin’ for the ChestHairPorn!!!

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The only thing more lethal than Rob in a hoodie is Rob in a hoodie while wearin’ a beanie! *DED!*

Happy Monday, y’all!

Rita

Night Raider

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Filed under Monday Madness, Rita01tx, Robert Pattinson, Shamwow anyone?, Stunning

Monday Madness~ Robert in Wonderland

*blows kisses*

RobsFan~tasy

Oh my gosh Ladies!!!

I’ve missed a few Monday Madness posts. Hope this makes up for it!!!

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You all know posting Monday Madness is my favorite thing ever, especially when I get a great idea for an “Epic” post. Well, I haven’t had an epic idea since “The Invasion of the Robs!” Ever since I wrote that one, I just keep thinking, “What can I do next?”

The answer? Rob and I are going to Wonderland!!! So, if you want to go with us, you know what you have to do…

FOLLOW THE WHITE RABBIT…

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WELCOME TO…

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One gorgeous summer day, RF and Rob are sitting on the meadow when RF spots a white rabbit. Being a huge sucker for bunnies, she runs after it but the rabbit disappears into the hollow of a tree.

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Now, when she reaches for it, she slips and starts to fall! Rob, being the gentleman that he is, grabs her ankle to stop her and they tumble down the rabbit hole together.

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WHOA!!!

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The real trouble begins when Rob finally reaches the bottom only to discover that RF has vanished!

Rob finds himself in a room with a tiny door, but he’s much too large to fit through it. Searching for another way out, he spies a round, glass top table with an intricate key on it, along with a bottle that looks suspiciously like a Heinekin, only the lable says “Drink Me!”

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A drink would be good right about now and it does look very cool and refreshing…

Drink me heini by Mississippibellalis

With a shrug of his shoulders,

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Rob drinks…

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and suddenly feels a little bit…odd!

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“WTF?”

It feels he’s shrinking, but how is that even possible?

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{{Shrinking}}

Moments later, Rob discovers he has shrunk! Now he’s small enough to fit through the door. Unfortunately, it’s locked! Oh, noze! He looks up through the bottom of the glass top table that towers above him and sees that he’s left the tiny key to the door behind! Double Oh, Noze! Then he notices a very tiny table below the much larger one. On it is a cupcake that simply says…

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“EAT ME”

Eat me? Seriously? Rob ponders the problem of the table and the key. Knowing he has no other choice…

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he eats the cupake and squeezes his eyes shut in anticipation!

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{{{{{{GROWING}}}}}}}

Now stretched back to normal, Rob quickly retrieves the key. Fortunately, there’s enough of the strange drink left to shrink back down to fit through the door. Once through the door, Rob finds himself in a beautiful garden of daisies surrouned by other flowers! In the middle of the field of daisies is a life-sized statue of…Himself!

Smexy in the Daisies by Mississippibellalis

“What in the world?” Rob says, out loud.

“Don’t you mean where in the world?” a voice asks.

“Who said that?” Rob cries. He looks around but there’s no one there! Peering at the statue suspiciously, he begins to wonder if it had spoken to him.

“Curiouser and Curiouser,” he says as he walks around the statue a few times inspecting it. It was very realistic looking  yet not quite life-like. Rob reaches out to touch it.

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“DON’T DO THAT!” someone yells.

“She’ll get you if you touch her things!”

“RF doesn’t like anyone messing with her toys!”

“Who said that?” Rob asks again, looking all around.

“We said it!”

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“We said it!”

“Talking flowers? Where am I, in OZ?” Rob asks, not believing his eyes.

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“That’s another story entirely!” Yellow Rose cries.

“RF will not like you calling this place OZ or calling us flowers! We’re Roses!” Pink Rose states indignantly.

“RF? Do you know where she is?” Rob asks.

“Where who is?” asks Blue Rose.

“RobsFan~tasy!” Rob exclaims.

“We don’t know anyone named RobsFan~tasy! Who are you?”

“I’m Rob and I came here with RF!” Rob explained.

“You just said you didn’t know where RF is,” Yellow Rose giggles.

“And, if you are Rob, and she is your fantasy, then she doesn’t really exist, now does she?”

“Oh! forget it! I’ll find her myself! Can you tell me where I am?” Rob asks, now thoroughly annoyed.

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“Well, if you don’t know where you are, how did you get here?” Pink Rose asks.

“He probably doesn’t even know where he’s been!” Yellow Rose cries.

“I bloody well know where I’ve been and I know where I’ve gone! I’ve gone ’round the bend, that’s for sure!”

“Had you gone ‘Round the Bend,’ you’d be talking to me and not those idiot flowers,” a new voice says behind him.

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Rob spins around…the world spinning with him…and when it stops, he’s standing in front of a mushroom that’s not much taller than he is. Upon the great mushroom sits a hookah smokin’ caterpillar!!!
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“Well, since you deem them as idiotic as I do, hopefully, you’ll makes some bloody sense. Who are you?” Rob asks the caterpillar.

“Who are YOU?”  replies the caterpillar as he puffs on his hookah.

“Oh, bloody hell. You’re no better than the roses.  Don’t you think you should tell me who you are?”

“Why?”

“Well, if you ask me…”

“You? Who.Are.You?”

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“Oh, for heaven’s sake! Do you know where I can find RF?”

“In the alphabet, of course.”

“I mean RobsFan-tasy.”

“Then you should say what you mean.”

“Can’t anyone give a straight answer around here?”

“If it’s answers you seek, the answers are in the smoke,” The caterpillar says, holding out the hookah pipe to Rob.

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Rob feels a little woozy after smoking the hookah and begins to see all sorts of colors whirling around his head mixed in with the smoke.The smoke takes on the form of a cat and then transforms into along table with many chairs. It becomes a rose before finally changing into a crown. Rob doesn’t know what the images mean but has the feeling he really needs to get away from the hooka when he sees that the caterpillar transform into a multicolored butterfly. Rob climbs down from the mushroom and starts to leave when the butterfly calls out to him.

“One side makes you taller.”

“One side of what?”

“The other makes you small”

“Other side of what?”

“The mushroom, of course.”

Rob figures traveling would go much faster if he were larger than 3 inches tall, so he breaks off a piece from each side of the mushroom and stuffs them in his pocket. Then he breaks off two more pieces and, with only a little hesitation, takes a bite of one of them. He returns back to his natural size. Rob laughs at the absurdity of it all!

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“Is this crazy, or what?”

There are signs everywhere. Big signs and little signs, pointing in every possible direction.

“I’ll never find RF at this rate!” he says, turning ’round and ’round, looking at all the signs. As he turns, he comes face to…uh…grin with something.

“Lose something?” the grin asks.

Loose something?"

Lose something?”

“Um, yeah…kind of. I’m looking for RF. Can you tell me which way I should go?” Rob asks as the grin grows into a Cheshire cat.

“That depends on where you want to get to.”

“Oh, well that really doesn’t matter as long as…”

“Then it really doesn’t matter which way you go,” the cat says. “Ohhhh, by the way…if you’d really like to know, she went that way.”

“Who did?”

“RF.”

“She did?” Rob asks, pleased that he was finally getting an answer.

“She did what?”

“Went that way!”

“Who did?”

“RF!”

“Who’s RF?”

“But didn’t you just say…oh, bloody hell! Just forget it!”

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“However, if I were looking for an RF, I’d ask the Mad Hatter,” the cat says, pointing to a sign that read MAD HATTER. Well, the last thing Rob wanted was more madness.

“Um, no…no thank you! I, I don’t…”

“OR, there’s always the March Hare in that direction,” the cat tells him as he points in the opposite direction.

“Yes, thank you. I think I’ll go see him.”

“Of course, he’s mad too!” the cat replies.

“Noooo! I can’t take any more mad people!!” Rob exclaims.

“Oh, you can’t help that! Most everyone’s mad around here! You may have noticed that I’m not all there myself!”

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“Most everyone’s mad here! You may have noticed that I’m not all there myself!”

“I’m mad. You’re mad, ” the cat goes on, not giving Rob a chance to comment.

“How do you know I’m mad?” asks Rob.

“Oh, you must be or you wouldn’t have come here.”

With that, the cat vanishes into a fit of dissolving giggles.

To be Continued…

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Much Love to you all,

RobsFan~tasy

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 I have to extend a Super HUGE Awesome THANK YOU To Mississippibellalis for making all the above “Rob in Wonderland” manips and gifs with Rob and RF in them. Her edits and graphic work helped inspire this post and as you can see She has an awesome Talent! Thank You Missi, It was great working with you!! 

And as always I couldn’t do these Crazy posts without the Help of My girl Rita01tx. Thanks BB!! You’s da best!

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Filed under Because he gives us a Reason to smile., Because I CAN!, Just For Shizz and Giggles, Missing Our Boyfriend, Monday Madness, Rob Drought, Tybert, We All Go A Little Mad Sometimes

Sensual Sunday ~ His Hands Obsessed!

Wet Rob Avi

Good afternoon, ladies!

A while back, I told HisHandsObsessed that I had an eagle eye out on her edits! And, so I did…and, so I still have!

High time, then, to share our obsession with Rob’s hands by divin’ into my stash of edits by HisHandsObsessed! Now, somethin’ tells me you’re not gonna be too upset at how many of them I’m postin’ today…hell’n I had more than 200 to choose from! It was HARD {TWSS}!!!

Once I had it down to these, I couldn’t choose which ones NOT to use, so I’m usin’ ALL of them!

Robert Pattinson, Kirsten Stewart & Charlize Theron leaving Quo Vadis Private Members Club in Soho, London

Rob has the most elegant hands and fingers…especially his fingers,  I’ve ever seen on a man {or woman, for that matter}!

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Even Rob is fascinated by his own hands {or maybe he’s just tryin’ to understand why WE love them so much LOL!}

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How expressive would Rob be tellin’ stories or recitin’ poetry in sign language?

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Anybody read sign language? What’s he sayin’ here?

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To anyone not appreciatin’ Rob’s long fingernails, need I remind you that he needs ’em to pick his… GUITAR!!!

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Or to dig out the tab on his zipper!?!?!

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Maybe to get at that tiny bit of lettuce stuck between his teeth from his In-N-Out burger?

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Would you rather he hid his hands completely?  I thought not LOL!

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I swear, Rob’s hands take on a personality all their own! They dance with the grace of a ballerina!

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They seduce with the lightest touch *SWOON!*

The Apple Store Soho Welcomes Robert Pattinson & Catherine Hardwicke

A moment of silence, please, as we worship at the altar of St. Mattress! *THUD!*

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Don’t hide, darlin’! We didn’t mean to make you blush {much}!!!

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You know, I don’t think I’ve seen this photo before!?! {I want that finger touchin’ MY lips *le sigh!*}

Robert Pattinson displays many faces on the set of 'Remember Me' in NYC

Those hands attached to THOSE arms? *DED!* {ForearmPorn alert!}

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Rob might not have been a hand model in RL, but he sure COULD have been! {Hell’n he even makes bad habits look gooood!}

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Includin’ chewin’ on your fingernails LOL!

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Whenever Rob brings his hands anywhere near his face, it leads to completion distraction! {EyebrowPorn!}

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Pointin’ straight to where I want to put MY lips! {Which reminds me…see how pretty and white Rob’s teeth are? They weren’t that white at the Golden Globes, which is my theory as to why he wasn’t smilin’ very often LOL!}

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Oh, crap! Now he’s gonna sulk ’cause I embarrassed him…again! {Sorry, Rob!}

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Loosen up, baby! You know I’m just fuckin’ with you…as usual LMAO!!!

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Uh, I think I’m in trouble! Rob…you mad at me?

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Looks like it…damn!

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Aaargh! Nooooo! Don’t call Nick…I’ll be good, I promise {fingers crossed behind my back}!!!

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Just give him a minute…he can’t stay mad forever, right? Right?

ROBERT PATTINSON FILMING A SCENE FOR HIS NEW MOVIE

What? You’re givin’ me one more chance?

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Only if I…WHAT????

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OH! You were just fuckin’ with ME, were you? *Phew!*   (_E=mc2_)

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Say goodbye, Rob!

Happy Sunday, y’all!

Rita

Night Raider

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Filed under Rob Pattinson, Sensual Sunday

Sensual Sunday ~ A Farewell to Edward!

Hi Ya'all

Well, ladies!

Here we are at the end of 2012, with 2013 hot on its heels! I know I’m not alone in anxiously awaitin’ Rob’s new films, startin’ with The Rover, which he should begin filmin’ in January! Woo hoo!!!

Our Aussie friends have promised to keep watch over him for us while he’s on their home ground {lucky hOOrs} and I know they will!

Now, since his role as Edward in the Twilight Saga was how many of us came to know and love Rob, I thought it fittin’ to wave farewell to Edward {hell’n without Rob, there would have been no reason for me to even read the books, let alone see the films}!

TWILIGHT ~ 2008

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And I was a goner! No one could have played Edward better than Rob!

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Tell me there was a dry pair of panties in the whole audience when Rob strutted into the cafeteria!

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Even with glarin’ black eyes, I woulda melted into a puddle of goo if I’d been sittin’ next to him in that class, ’cause those lips just BEG to be kissed!

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Golden eyed perfection! {bless you, Melbie, for this gorgeous edit!}

RobasEdward45_zpsee9e4dbd 1This was as nekkid as we’d see Rob get as Edward in the first film, but HOT DAMN! Happy Trail Porn FTMFW!!!

NEW MOON ~ 2009

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Anticipation for New Moon ran high in 2009! Although I was curious about how they’d portray the wolves on screen, I was mostly jonesin’ for more ROB!

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Edward was way more sparklie in New Moon…almost too much, but then again…NAH!!

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I hereby proclaim Rob’s parkin’ lot strut waaay sexier than the cafeteria strut LOL!

Maybe it was the music that went along with it {you had your headphones on, right?}

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Shirtless Rob…the scene we were ALL waitin’ for! Love how this b/w gives us more definition of Rob’s hot new abs, manly V and his delicious Happy Trail {never can get enough LOL}!

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Thank you, Fearlessmore, for our first glimpse of Rob’s ass crack LOL!

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The fight scene with the Volturi was fuckin’ AWESOME! That bein’ said, it really sucked that Edward got his ass handed to him…I thought he and Alice could “hear” and “see” their every move before they made it???

ECLIPSE ~ 2010

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Honestly, there were some really good parts to Eclipse but, overall, not my favorite {probably ’cause we didn’t get to see any RobHAWTNESS a.k.a. nekkid Rob LOL}!

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Rob was as beautiful as ever, but didn’t you find the vampire make-up more white than usual?

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Fierce Rob…uh, Edward got me all hot and bothered LOL! One of the best scenes!!

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You know I couldn’t resist includin’ Rob’s BTS funky dance gif LMAO!!!

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Damned if I didn’t cringe when it looked like Rob {crap! Edward Edward Edward} was gonna get his head ripped off!  I cheered like crazy when the tables were finally turned!!!

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Edward’s hair in Eclipse was the most like Rob’s own Sex Hair! Shoulda been like this in ALL of them…just sayin’!

BREAKING DAWN Part 1 ~ 2011

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Edward would seem more “human” in BD1 than in any of the previous films!

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The weddin’ was absolutely gorgeous, and funny, and tender…I loved it!

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But THIS is what we all waited on pins and needles to see! And were we disappointed? HELL NO!!! Rob was {IS} a Master “Thruster” LMAO!!!

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I couldn’t have been more pleased that they included a glimpse of Edward’s dark past! The red eyes and bloody lips just killed me!

You’ve seen Olia’s vid in a previous post of mine, but it’s worth watchin’ over and again just for the “dark past” scenes, if nothin’ else!

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Gotta say, Rob DID look very much like a 17-year old boy is much of the film, which was a good thing, since that’s what he was SUPPOSED to be LOL!

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Bless him! His cute as hell man-giggle will keep him forever young!!!

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Is there anything more glorious than Rob havin’ the time of his life? {like I was gonna leave this out LOL!}

BREAKING DAWN Part 2 ~ 2012

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We might not see Edward and Bella again, but what do you wanna bet Scummit tries to tack on another Twilight story?  Maybe Jacob and Renesmee? Any other of the Cullen family’s pasts???

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BD2 was all about Bella, so my RobPorn stash was a little short on stunnin’ solo Edward shots! I do love this one, though!

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What real scenery we got to see {not green screen} was sooo beautiful…wonder where this was filmed?

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Rob conveys such emotion with just a quirk of his eyebrows…those gorgeous eyebrows! *THUD!*

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Still boyishly beautiful *le sigh!*

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Yeah, I know it’s Benjamin and not Edward rockin’ with the big crack, but the battle scene was the best part of the film!

***

Well, this turned into a rather epic post LOL! Just like the Twilight Saga!  Which was your favorite film, and why?

Happy Sunday, y’all!

Rita

Night Raider

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Filed under Addicted, Edward A M Cullen, Rob Pattinson, Sensual Sunday, Twilight