Tag Archives: Illicitwriter

Random Rita ~ Friday Feature Fics!

Wet Rob Avi

Evenin’ ladies!

As you may {or may not} know, Jaxon22 has pulled all of her fics in preparation of publishin’ A Pound of Flesh in June of 2015!

While I am extremely happy for her, I deeply mourn the loss of Dancing in the Dark, which was still a WIP when she pulled it *sigh!*

It was one of my favorite Daddywards…I mean, doesn’t this summary just make you wanna scream like a fangirl??

“You can’t start a fire, you can’t start a fire without a spark. This gun’s for hire even if we’re just dancing in the dark.” Immersed in a world of dance, drink, drugs, and women, Edward Cullen is the ultimate bachelor. Until he receives a late night phone call that changes everything.

Rob Attack

Edward was a manwhore…a Magic Mike kinda stripper, and imaginin’ his hair, make-up and outfits {or lack thereof} was a huge turn-on, as well as how he handled sudden and totally unexpected fatherhood LOL!

Well, I read the WIP again {many times} and gnashed my teeth, wept and wailed until I remembered a similar summary and rushed to my TBR for a thorough search!

Yes! *fist pump!* 

Rob Attack

{banner via myffrecs.tumblr.com}

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7520210/1/Fatherhood-Formula-and-Other-F-Words

When man-whore, foul-mouthed Edward’s life takes an unexpected turn, he’s left with a baby to raise. With the help of a friendly neighbor, he learns sometimes the unexpected could be the best thing that’s ever happened. All Human

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Humor – Edward, Bella – Chapters: 38 – Words: 142,732 – Reviews: 6,279 – Favs: 5,861 – Follows: 4,722 – Updated: Dec 2, 2013 – Published: Nov 4, 2011 – Status: Complete – id: 7520210

Chicks had a thing for doctors; it wasn’t a secret. I learned that fact my third year in med school. The scrubs, lab coat, fuck, the stethoscope… it all just beckoned them. They flocked to me, and dear God, I loved it. Like her, the girl under me. She wanted me for my profession. Her first words were, and I’m fucking quoting here: “Let’s play doctor”. Hell yeah, baby. We’ll play doctor. We’ll play doctor all fucking night.

It didn’t take long for me to blow my load. It felt fucking amazing. I passed out next to the chick, praying she’d be gone by the time I woke up. Thankfully, I was right. I didn’t see her again….

Famous last words LMAO! Yeah, he might not be a stripper but our Doctorward IS a First Class manwhore!

I made my way up to my apartment. As I unlocked the door, New Girl’s door opened, and she bolted out.

“Oh, good! You’re home. You uh… had a visitor, and since I didn’t want her waiting in the hall, I invited her in,” she said. “Please, don’t be mad.”

I cocked my head. “Visitor? Why would I be mad?”

“I didn’t know what she wanted, but I think you’ll be happy,” she said. “Maybe.”

A woman I vaguely recognized came waltzing out of New Girl’s apartment. I couldn’t quite place her, but I knew her somehow. She smiled, switching the car seat she was carrying to the other hand.

Chick that wanted to play doctor. “Yeah, sorry. What…what do you need?” I said, looking at the car seat with a blanket over it.

Please, fuck no.

“I have great news.” Somehow, I seriously doubted I’d find it that great. “You’re a daddy!”

What I love most about this fic are the beautifully crafted relationships between each and every character! Especially Edward’s relationship with baby Sofia, or Little One as he incessantly calls her {the only thing I found a tiny bit annoyin’} and Bella, or New Girl…the name he gave her before he really got to know her!

Rob Attack

{banner by IllicitWriter}

Know what else I love about this fic? There’s a SEQUEL!!!

Rob Attack

{banner by IllicitWriter}

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8669311/1/A-Few-More-F-Words

Fatherhood sequel. Five year old Sofia is starting school and Edward can’t help but feel his baby is growing up too fast. While he and Bella try to juggle a hyper little girl, careers, and their relationship, they find out their lives are about to change drastically once more. All Human.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Humor – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 17 – Words: 65,594 – Reviews: 2,401 – Favs: 2,735 – Follows: 3,292 – Updated: Feb 1, 2014 – Published: Nov 3, 2012 – Status: Complete – id: 8669311

And here they go again LMAO!

“You’re…pregnant.” I smiled, laying my hand against hers. “With my baby.”

She laughed. “Of course it’s yours! Who else’s would it be?”

I pulled her into my arms and pressed my lips to hers. Our tongues moved together as my hand slid under her shirt and laid against her flat stomach. In just a few short months, I’d feel a baby move. My baby. I fucking hated that I didn’t get that with Little One, so I was already planning on making the most out of this. Bella, my wife, was having my baby. Little One would be a big sister, and I’d be a dad again. Maybe I wouldn’t be so freaked out over every little thing this time. Who the hell was I kidding? Yes, I would.

“I love you so much,” I said, pressing my forehead to hers. “Bella, I’ll never be able to thank you enough for loving me —for trusting me to be the man you thought I could be. We’re going to be parents again. Holy shit.”

She pecked my lips softly. “If this baby’s first word is a curse, I’m divorcing you.”

I laughed, picking her up off of the couch. “Sure, Nibbles, sure.”

I carried her upstairs, trying to be quiet so we wouldn’t wake Sofia. The kid had just become more of a cockblocker as she got older, so I didn’t get as many chances as I wanted to make love to my wife.

Awwww! From beginnin’ to end, I found these fics immensely entertainin’ and highly recommendable…hey, a big word LOL! Oh, and did I mention they are both COMPLETE?

So, Daddyward has kept me busy this week! Who did you enjoy???

Happy Friday, y’all!

Rita

Night Raider

26 Comments

Filed under Fan Fiction Recs, Rita01tx

Monday Madness…Ring in the New Year With the New RA!

*blows kisses*

RobsFan~tasy

Hi Ya'all

Rita01tx

RF & Rita Co-post

*RF’s standing at the door greeting everyone as they enter*

“Yes, yes…that’s right, girls. Come on in and grab a seat. Here, don’t forget your shamwows. You’re gonna need them! Drinks are up at the bar, so just help yourself! Hi! How are you ladies tonight? Come on in!

*Rita walks in*

“RF, whut in the blue blazes are you up to now?”

“I told you I had plans and surprises for the New Year!”
“Yeah, so?”
*
“Look around, Girlfriend!”
*
“Holy crap! You got us a new background…and a new blinkie, too! Niiice!
*
“Uh huh! Mississippibellaslis was kind enough to do that blinkie for us. And that ain’t all…look up! See? There’s lots of new banners too!”
*
“Well, now! Who do we get to thank for the new banners?”
*
“Kerry Delaney and Jolori, made some, as well as Cared, TheRoseAndTheDragon, and Mississippibellalis made the animated ones.”
*
“I surely do like what you’ve done with the place!”
*
“Thanks BB, but I’m just getting started! We’re gonna kick it up a notch this year…beginning tonight!!
*
“Well, it looks like we got us a full house! Go for it!”
*
“Ladies, I know you are all excited about the changes, but if you’ll take your seats please? Dear RA friends! RA is ringing in the New Year with a New Look!
So, in celebration of a new year, RA’s new look, and a new career for Rob, it’s LADIES NIGHT and  you are all invited to PAR-TAY! Hang onto your knickers…we’re going in!”
*
resizedimage406456-ladiesnight
*

*

“Express”

It’s a cold and cRA!zy world that’s RA!gin’ outside
Well baby me and all my girls are bringin’ on the fire
Show a little leg, gotta shimmy your chest
It’s a life, it’s a style, it’s a need, it’s RA!

tumblr_m5oi11zjkm1qhvxmvo1_500

*THUD!* “Hit us with Fifty right off the bat, why dontcha?”

“Only the best for My Girls!”

E-X-P-R-E-S-S, love, sex
Ladies no regrets
E-X-P-R-E-S-S, love, sex
Ladies no regrets

tumblr_lxw5yaFxrN1r9madeo1_400

“Oooh! The things I could do to Rob with that tie!” *gigglesnort!*

“That’s it Rob, take it off! Take it all off!”

Been holding back for quite some time and finally the moment’s right
We love to make the people stare
They know we got that certain savoir-faire

rob_undone

“Geeze, I could get lost in those eyes…hell’n I AM lost in those eyes!”

“The man is soooo intense! Grrrr…”

Fasten up
Can you imagine what would happen if we let you close enough to touch?

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“Yeah, baby! Here I cum!”

“Back off Rita!! It’s Monday!!!” LOL

Step into the fantasy
You’ll never want to leave, baby that’s guaRA!nteed… Why?

tumblr_lxzs6yVmvM1r9madeo1_400

“Is it gettin’ warm in here?” *groan!”

“Getting warm?? Hell I passed warm about a mile back!”

It’s a passion, an emotion, it’s a fashion, RA!.
It’ll move you, goin’ through you, so do what we do, RA!
All ladies confident, flaunt it, boys throw it up if you want it
Can you feel me, can you feel it? It’s RA!.

motu

“I think my ovaries just exploded!” *GAH!*

“Oh! Jack Daniels Body shots off the Happy Trail…YES PLEASE!!”

Le Le Le Le Le Le Le
RA!
Le Le Le Le Le Le Le
RA!

tumblr_lya9tm1s6V1r9madeo1_400

“You just had to give us a Tattbert…you knowz my weakness!”

“Yup! What can I say? I just couldn’t resist the pistol in his pants!” *Giggles*

We tease ‘em ’til they’re on the edge
They scream and moan for more and more they beg.
We know it’s ROB they come to see
Our pleasure brings them to their knees

Robert Pattinson Manip Twilight_edited-2

“What I wouldn’t give to run my fingers through that Sex Hair and down those abs!” * drool!*

“OH! Rob half naked in the kitchen! Too…Many…Pervy…Thoughts…Must…have…Whipped Cream Rob!!!”

Fasten up
Can you imagine what would happen if we let you close enough to touch?

rob_country_shirtless
“Now, there’s MY fantasy…a session in the barn with Rob!” LOL!

“Woo Hooo!! I got some Dollars to stuff into that belt Baby!!

Step into the fantasy
You’ll never want to leave, baby that’s guaRA!nteed… Why?

tumblr_maqil6GiOx1qhvxmvo1_500

“The man DO inspire passion…understatement of the century!”

The man’s DOing things to everyone here that Should be illegal! Thank God it’s Not!” *teehee*

It’s a passion, an emotion, it’s a fashion, RA!
It’ll move you, goin’ through you, so do what we do, RA!
All ladies, confident, flaunt it, boys throw it up if you want it
Can you feel me, can you feel it? It’s RA!.

Edward Manip 100 copy

“Gettin’ a little saucy there, ain’t ya RF? I’ll take it…uh, Rob that is” LOL!

“Weeellll, I said I was gonna kick it up a notch this year. Did I lie?” LOL

Le Le Le Le Le lele
RA!
Le Le Le Le Le Le Le
RA! [x4]

379832_141535309295787_100003179552748_185963_1017895259_n

“Must.Lick.Happy Trail!” *DED!*

It’s a passion, an emotion, it’s a fashion, RA!
It’ll move you, goin’ through you, so do what we do, RA!
All ladies confident, flaunt it, boys throw it up if you want it
Can you feel me, can you feel it? It’s RA!.

“Yeah girls, I know just how you feel!”

tumblr_mdirezAs0e1qdp0tc

“RF! You done went and made ALL our ovaries explode!”

ovaries-exploding-tony-stark

“Well, in that case… 

happynewyear-animated

MUCH LOVE TO YOU ALL,

RobsFan~tasy XOXO

2013_text_rotate_anim_sm_wm

40 Comments

Filed under Addicted, Artistic Genius!, Because I CAN!, Breathless, in my dreams, Monday Madness, oh lalala, Rob Pattinson, Shamwow anyone?