Tag Archives: SoapyMayhem

Sensual Sunday ~ Dear Rita!

Wet Rob Avi

Ladies!

You are NOT goin’ to believe this…hell’n you coulda knocked me over with a feather then this arrived in my RA in-box the other day!

Was this for real? Is someone pullin’ my leg?

Stranger things have happened, I guess, but WTF?

Dear Rita,

I hope you don’t mind me writing to you like this, but I’ve had such a bad week that I needed some advice.

mar27-1

First of all, just when I thought I was managing to snag myself some interesting roles out of the shadow of Edward Cullen, they go and drop me from Unbound Captives for being too manly and not Edward Cullenish enough! Bloody Hell, Rita! You’ve seen my long, bendy fingers and wonky legs…Do they look overly manish to you?

MySexyVampire_RememberMe OnSet

Then they go and nominate me for Worst Actor at the Razzies. Still, at least I didn’t win that one (but I do think they should have had a separate category for that bloody itchy wig I had to wear )!

NEWRobertPattinsonBreakingDawnPart2EdwardStill-1

Rita, I feel I’ve known you long enough that you’ll give it to me straight…well, you did offer something like that the last time I was in the RROP with you, remember? Do you think my fans will still love me after Twilight?

IRWL211

I’m sorry to be a bit of a Whinging Pom about it all but, what with the heat out here, and spending my nights watching reruns of Only Fools and Horses and Fawlty Towers, I think I might be feeling a tad homesick.

IRWL141

Yours Sincerely,

Rob

Somewhere in the outback of Australia

SomewhereInOz

(Sorry, can’t say more…you know how the paps are.)

DamnedPaps

{Rita bites down hard on her knuckles, squeeein’ herself blue in the face as silently as possible, and grabs an industrial strength ShamWow to sit on!}

Dear Rob,

You know you can write to me {or anything else you might want to do to me *THUD!*} anytime you want, darlin’!

SoapyMayhem xxx

Just remember that turnabout is fair play!

KerryDelaney xxx

Sweetheart, you were still just a kid when those people approached you for Unbound Captives. Your Edward Cullen, gangly 109 year old teenager, persona may have been how they saw you back then…

RobertPattinsonBTSx - Copy

but, honey, you’re all MAN now!

Francies67 532

So, let Zach Efron play Unbound Captives. We want to see you play the Sexy Beast we all know you are. I hear there’s a great movie in the works that needs a leadin’ man and we all think you’d be perfect for the part. It’s a rather large role and the lead character’s name is Christian. Perhaps you’ve heard of it…Fifty Shades of Grey?

MelbieToast Details color

As for the Razzies, your ridiculous wig absofuckinlutely deserved to be in the Razzie Hall of Fame, but that has nothing to do with your actin’. Don’t listen to those f*cktards who put that shit out there, baby! Your massive fanbase knows you are an amazin’ actor. WE will NOT be surprised to see you takin’ home an Oscar someday instead of presentin’ one to someone less deservin’!

Stars arrive for 81st Academy Awards

Rob, you can always count on  me to give it to you hard and straight…

Time to play

and believe me when I say your fanWOMEN, hOOrs and Angelz will follow you unto the ends of the Earth!

Rodzynkagraphics

Now, I know it’s been hot as hell in the Land Down Under, so just get yourself back here to the RRoP as soon as you get home…I’ve got just the thing to cool you down *gigglesnort!*

ICE CUBE copia

Feel better now, darlin’!

BIG Rob 021

I’ll take that as a “yes!” LMAO!!!

Happy Sunday, y’all!

Rita

Super huge thanks to ClaireBamboozle {Rob’s letter} and RF {BIG help with responses}!!!

Night Raider

24 Comments

Filed under Rita01tx, Robert Pattinson, Sensual Sunday

Monday Madness…Ring in the New Year With the New RA!

*blows kisses*

RobsFan~tasy

Hi Ya'all

Rita01tx

RF & Rita Co-post

*RF’s standing at the door greeting everyone as they enter*

“Yes, yes…that’s right, girls. Come on in and grab a seat. Here, don’t forget your shamwows. You’re gonna need them! Drinks are up at the bar, so just help yourself! Hi! How are you ladies tonight? Come on in!

*Rita walks in*

“RF, whut in the blue blazes are you up to now?”

“I told you I had plans and surprises for the New Year!”
“Yeah, so?”
*
“Look around, Girlfriend!”
*
“Holy crap! You got us a new background…and a new blinkie, too! Niiice!
*
“Uh huh! Mississippibellaslis was kind enough to do that blinkie for us. And that ain’t all…look up! See? There’s lots of new banners too!”
*
“Well, now! Who do we get to thank for the new banners?”
*
“Kerry Delaney and Jolori, made some, as well as Cared, TheRoseAndTheDragon, and Mississippibellalis made the animated ones.”
*
“I surely do like what you’ve done with the place!”
*
“Thanks BB, but I’m just getting started! We’re gonna kick it up a notch this year…beginning tonight!!
*
“Well, it looks like we got us a full house! Go for it!”
*
“Ladies, I know you are all excited about the changes, but if you’ll take your seats please? Dear RA friends! RA is ringing in the New Year with a New Look!
So, in celebration of a new year, RA’s new look, and a new career for Rob, it’s LADIES NIGHT and  you are all invited to PAR-TAY! Hang onto your knickers…we’re going in!”
*
resizedimage406456-ladiesnight
*

*

“Express”

It’s a cold and cRA!zy world that’s RA!gin’ outside
Well baby me and all my girls are bringin’ on the fire
Show a little leg, gotta shimmy your chest
It’s a life, it’s a style, it’s a need, it’s RA!

tumblr_m5oi11zjkm1qhvxmvo1_500

*THUD!* “Hit us with Fifty right off the bat, why dontcha?”

“Only the best for My Girls!”

E-X-P-R-E-S-S, love, sex
Ladies no regrets
E-X-P-R-E-S-S, love, sex
Ladies no regrets

tumblr_lxw5yaFxrN1r9madeo1_400

“Oooh! The things I could do to Rob with that tie!” *gigglesnort!*

“That’s it Rob, take it off! Take it all off!”

Been holding back for quite some time and finally the moment’s right
We love to make the people stare
They know we got that certain savoir-faire

rob_undone

“Geeze, I could get lost in those eyes…hell’n I AM lost in those eyes!”

“The man is soooo intense! Grrrr…”

Fasten up
Can you imagine what would happen if we let you close enough to touch?

60516447
“Yeah, baby! Here I cum!”

“Back off Rita!! It’s Monday!!!” LOL

Step into the fantasy
You’ll never want to leave, baby that’s guaRA!nteed… Why?

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“Is it gettin’ warm in here?” *groan!”

“Getting warm?? Hell I passed warm about a mile back!”

It’s a passion, an emotion, it’s a fashion, RA!.
It’ll move you, goin’ through you, so do what we do, RA!
All ladies confident, flaunt it, boys throw it up if you want it
Can you feel me, can you feel it? It’s RA!.

motu

“I think my ovaries just exploded!” *GAH!*

“Oh! Jack Daniels Body shots off the Happy Trail…YES PLEASE!!”

Le Le Le Le Le Le Le
RA!
Le Le Le Le Le Le Le
RA!

tumblr_lya9tm1s6V1r9madeo1_400

“You just had to give us a Tattbert…you knowz my weakness!”

“Yup! What can I say? I just couldn’t resist the pistol in his pants!” *Giggles*

We tease ‘em ’til they’re on the edge
They scream and moan for more and more they beg.
We know it’s ROB they come to see
Our pleasure brings them to their knees

Robert Pattinson Manip Twilight_edited-2

“What I wouldn’t give to run my fingers through that Sex Hair and down those abs!” * drool!*

“OH! Rob half naked in the kitchen! Too…Many…Pervy…Thoughts…Must…have…Whipped Cream Rob!!!”

Fasten up
Can you imagine what would happen if we let you close enough to touch?

rob_country_shirtless
“Now, there’s MY fantasy…a session in the barn with Rob!” LOL!

“Woo Hooo!! I got some Dollars to stuff into that belt Baby!!

Step into the fantasy
You’ll never want to leave, baby that’s guaRA!nteed… Why?

tumblr_maqil6GiOx1qhvxmvo1_500

“The man DO inspire passion…understatement of the century!”

The man’s DOing things to everyone here that Should be illegal! Thank God it’s Not!” *teehee*

It’s a passion, an emotion, it’s a fashion, RA!
It’ll move you, goin’ through you, so do what we do, RA!
All ladies, confident, flaunt it, boys throw it up if you want it
Can you feel me, can you feel it? It’s RA!.

Edward Manip 100 copy

“Gettin’ a little saucy there, ain’t ya RF? I’ll take it…uh, Rob that is” LOL!

“Weeellll, I said I was gonna kick it up a notch this year. Did I lie?” LOL

Le Le Le Le Le lele
RA!
Le Le Le Le Le Le Le
RA! [x4]

379832_141535309295787_100003179552748_185963_1017895259_n

“Must.Lick.Happy Trail!” *DED!*

It’s a passion, an emotion, it’s a fashion, RA!
It’ll move you, goin’ through you, so do what we do, RA!
All ladies confident, flaunt it, boys throw it up if you want it
Can you feel me, can you feel it? It’s RA!.

“Yeah girls, I know just how you feel!”

tumblr_mdirezAs0e1qdp0tc

“RF! You done went and made ALL our ovaries explode!”

ovaries-exploding-tony-stark

“Well, in that case… 

happynewyear-animated

MUCH LOVE TO YOU ALL,

RobsFan~tasy XOXO

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40 Comments

Filed under Addicted, Artistic Genius!, Because I CAN!, Breathless, in my dreams, Monday Madness, oh lalala, Rob Pattinson, Shamwow anyone?

Monday Madness ~ Thrill Me Thursday 4 of 4 posts!

I darted into a dark alley. With every heartbeat, I knew he was growing closer and closer, so I took another step back, farther and farther into the alley. I realized with sudden horror that this was the very same alley he had come from earlier today. I spun around, horrified to find large egg shaped shell thingies all over the alley. Large enough to hold a human being. Large enough to hold a man! One of the pods made a cracking noise and I plastered myself against the wall, away from it. A neon green light appeared over the pod, illuminating it enough for me to see what was happening all too clearly. I couldn’t believe my eyes!

This is where they were coming from! When one of the Robs was revealed to the waist, I just couldn’t look anymore. I turned my head away, coming face-to-face with the source of the neon green light. It hung in mid-air over the “new Rob” and it was looking directly at me!

 

I could hear myself screaming, my heart racing…

~ o ~

I sat bolt upright…safe in my own bed! It was a dream! It was all just a dream! I wrapped my arms around my knees and couldn’t resist the urge to laugh at myself! WTF was I so scared of? It was every Rob girl’s dream to have Rob all to herself and I had just dreamed up the perfect scenario! I laughed again at the memory of the dream.

“Honey, you all right in there?” I heard my husband call from the bathroom.

“Yeah, babe…just another wild and weird dream from my overactive imagination,” I told him as he sauntered out of the bathroom and  stepped up to the bed.  A large towel was wrapped loosely around his waist while he rubbed his head with another one to dry his wet hair.

“Was I in this dream?” he asked.

I looked up and smiled at him as he removed the towel from his head and wrapped it around his neck. I caught a glimpse of myself in the dresser mirror. I was stunned at my husbands “New Look.” And then, I saw my reflection grin wickedly back at me. I tore the towel from around his waist and tossed it across the room. Quickly grabbing both ends of the towel around his neck, I giggled as I pulled him down onto the bed with me.

“Nah, babe. This dream was about aliens,” I told him.

~O~

Have you Checked your husband/Boyfriend lately???????? Bwahahahahaha

Hope you all Enjoyed my little foray into Madness this week!

Much Love to you all,

Mwah!

 RobsFan~tasy
                                             “We all go a little Mad sometimes.”

18 Comments

Filed under Because he gives us a Reason to smile., Because I CAN!, in my dreams, it's true, Just For Shizz and Giggles, Monday Madness, My Brand of Heroin, Thrill Me Thursday, We All Go A Little Mad Sometimes, WTF?

Sensual Sunday ~ Black Book Badness

Aaaah, Ladies!

Just wait until you see what I have for you today…Autum de Wilde’s photos of Rob for Black Book Magazine! AND THEN SOME!!

What a wonderful surprise when they hit our screens that day! Damned if our Bad Boy wasn’t back, big time!

Hell’n they even tatted up his arms, which was a huge turn on…

Love me forever, or let me go!

{Oh My Gawd! Is there even any question?} ‘Fraid you’re stuck with me, darlin’!  Ain’t never lettin’ go! *le sigh*

Once I got a closer look, I started wonderin’ if they’d turned Rob loose with a sharpie LMAO!

Jeez, Rita! Why would you think that?

What? You don’t remember your “balloon art?” *gigglesnort!* {Not that our boy ain’t creative in every way …

but, if they were gonna give him tatts, they coulda done better than a buncha chicken scratches, right?}

Any one of SoapyMayhem’s Tattward manips coulda given ’em all the inspiration they needed LOL!

You weren’t offended by the ‘peen,’ were you? {blushes} It just kinda…appeared!

Naw, baby, we’re good! Long as it’s not a self portrait *gigglesnort!*  Hmmm, although, on second, or third look LMAO!

I’ll never tell LOL!

{Crap! Remove brain from gutter…back to business} Our man looks amazing in everything from Gucci to hobo but, as far as I’m concerned, Rob compliments the clothes, not the other way around! Even yellow pants we would otherwise find completely hideous LOL!

Back to resorting to flattery to get my attention, Rita?

Ain’t nuthin’ but the truth, Rob…own it, sweetheart!!!

OK, this is the best we got of this one and I’m DYING for a better quality color outtake!  Just couldn’t bring myself to leave it out, cause Rob… {me?}… full length mirror??? {THUD! Straight back to the gutter!}

Hmmm, I could probably think of a few things…

*Fuuuuck!*  I’ll bet you could, darlin’…only not with me {story of my life *groan*}!

Aw, hell! You know I love you, Rita…just not that way!

Love you too, angel…always will!!!

♥     ♥     ♥

Ya’ll ready for the “AND THEN SOME!!” part of this post? @Fearlessmore~InRobWeLust has done Rob proud with her edits of this photoshoot!

Autumn de Wilde ~ Black Book 2012 / Norman Jean Roy ~ Details 2010

Autumn de Wilde ~ Black Book 2012 / Stewart Shining ~ Elle France 2009

Autumn de Wilde ~ Black Book 2012 / Hedi Slimane ~ Another Man 2009

Autumn de Wilde ~ Black Book 2012 / Theo Wenner ~ US Weekly 2009

Autumn de Wilde ~ Black Book 2012 / Matt Jones ~ Cosmo Girl 2009

and a double Autumn de Wilde ~ Black Book 2012

Are these not just the most amazing things you’ve ever seen???

Happy Sunday, ya’ll!

Rita

47 Comments

Filed under Artistic Genius!, Breathless, My Brand of Heroin, Rob Pattinson, Sensual Sunday