Oh my gosh Ladies!!!
I’ve missed a few Monday Madness posts. Hope this makes up for it!!!
You all know posting Monday Madness is my favorite thing ever, especially when I get a great idea for an “Epic” post. Well, I haven’t had an epic idea since “The Invasion of the Robs!” Ever since I wrote that one, I just keep thinking, “What can I do next?”
The answer? Rob and I are going to Wonderland!!! So, if you want to go with us, you know what you have to do…
FOLLOW THE WHITE RABBIT…
One gorgeous summer day, RF and Rob are sitting on the meadow when RF spots a white rabbit. Being a huge sucker for bunnies, she runs after it but the rabbit disappears into the hollow of a tree.
Now, when she reaches for it, she slips and starts to fall! Rob, being the gentleman that he is, grabs her ankle to stop her and they tumble down the rabbit hole together.
The real trouble begins when Rob finally reaches the bottom only to discover that RF has vanished!
Rob finds himself in a room with a tiny door, but he’s much too large to fit through it. Searching for another way out, he spies a round, glass top table with an intricate key on it, along with a bottle that looks suspiciously like a Heinekin, only the lable says “Drink Me!”
A drink would be good right about now and it does look very cool and refreshing…
With a shrug of his shoulders,
and suddenly feels a little bit…odd!
It feels he’s shrinking, but how is that even possible?
Moments later, Rob discovers he has shrunk! Now he’s small enough to fit through the door. Unfortunately, it’s locked! Oh, noze! He looks up through the bottom of the glass top table that towers above him and sees that he’s left the tiny key to the door behind! Double Oh, Noze! Then he notices a very tiny table below the much larger one. On it is a cupcake that simply says…
Eat me? Seriously? Rob ponders the problem of the table and the key. Knowing he has no other choice…
he eats the cupake and squeezes his eyes shut in anticipation!
Now stretched back to normal, Rob quickly retrieves the key. Fortunately, there’s enough of the strange drink left to shrink back down to fit through the door. Once through the door, Rob finds himself in a beautiful garden of daisies surrouned by other flowers! In the middle of the field of daisies is a life-sized statue of…Himself!
“What in the world?” Rob says, out loud.
“Don’t you mean where in the world?” a voice asks.
“Who said that?” Rob cries. He looks around but there’s no one there! Peering at the statue suspiciously, he begins to wonder if it had spoken to him.
“Curiouser and Curiouser,” he says as he walks around the statue a few times inspecting it. It was very realistic looking yet not quite life-like. Rob reaches out to touch it.
“DON’T DO THAT!” someone yells.
“She’ll get you if you touch her things!”
“RF doesn’t like anyone messing with her toys!”
“Who said that?” Rob asks again, looking all around.
“We said it!”
“We said it!”
“Talking flowers? Where am I, in OZ?” Rob asks, not believing his eyes.
“That’s another story entirely!” Yellow Rose cries.
“RF will not like you calling this place OZ or calling us flowers! We’re Roses!” Pink Rose states indignantly.
“RF? Do you know where she is?” Rob asks.
“Where who is?” asks Blue Rose.
“RobsFan~tasy!” Rob exclaims.
“We don’t know anyone named RobsFan~tasy! Who are you?”
“I’m Rob and I came here with RF!” Rob explained.
“You just said you didn’t know where RF is,” Yellow Rose giggles.
“And, if you are Rob, and she is your fantasy, then she doesn’t really exist, now does she?”
“Oh! forget it! I’ll find her myself! Can you tell me where I am?” Rob asks, now thoroughly annoyed.
“Well, if you don’t know where you are, how did you get here?” Pink Rose asks.
“He probably doesn’t even know where he’s been!” Yellow Rose cries.
“I bloody well know where I’ve been and I know where I’ve gone! I’ve gone ’round the bend, that’s for sure!”
“Had you gone ‘Round the Bend,’ you’d be talking to me and not those idiot flowers,” a new voice says behind him.
Rob spins around…the world spinning with him…and when it stops, he’s standing in front of a mushroom that’s not much taller than he is. Upon the great mushroom sits a hookah smokin’ caterpillar!!!
“Well, since you deem them as idiotic as I do, hopefully, you’ll makes some bloody sense. Who are you?” Rob asks the caterpillar.
“Who are YOU?” replies the caterpillar as he puffs on his hookah.
“Oh, bloody hell. You’re no better than the roses. Don’t you think you should tell me who you are?”
“Well, if you ask me…”
“Oh, for heaven’s sake! Do you know where I can find RF?”
“In the alphabet, of course.”
“I mean RobsFan-tasy.”
“Then you should say what you mean.”
“Can’t anyone give a straight answer around here?”
“If it’s answers you seek, the answers are in the smoke,” The caterpillar says, holding out the hookah pipe to Rob.
Rob feels a little woozy after smoking the hookah and begins to see all sorts of colors whirling around his head mixed in with the smoke.The smoke takes on the form of a cat and then transforms into along table with many chairs. It becomes a rose before finally changing into a crown. Rob doesn’t know what the images mean but has the feeling he really needs to get away from the hooka when he sees that the caterpillar transform into a multicolored butterfly. Rob climbs down from the mushroom and starts to leave when the butterfly calls out to him.
“One side makes you taller.”
“One side of what?”
“The other makes you small”
“Other side of what?”
“The mushroom, of course.”
Rob figures traveling would go much faster if he were larger than 3 inches tall, so he breaks off a piece from each side of the mushroom and stuffs them in his pocket. Then he breaks off two more pieces and, with only a little hesitation, takes a bite of one of them. He returns back to his natural size. Rob laughs at the absurdity of it all!
“Is this crazy, or what?”
There are signs everywhere. Big signs and little signs, pointing in every possible direction.
“I’ll never find RF at this rate!” he says, turning ’round and ’round, looking at all the signs. As he turns, he comes face to…uh…grin with something.
“Lose something?” the grin asks.
“Um, yeah…kind of. I’m looking for RF. Can you tell me which way I should go?” Rob asks as the grin grows into a Cheshire cat.
“That depends on where you want to get to.”
“Oh, well that really doesn’t matter as long as…”
“Then it really doesn’t matter which way you go,” the cat says. “Ohhhh, by the way…if you’d really like to know, she went that way.”
“She did?” Rob asks, pleased that he was finally getting an answer.
“She did what?”
“Went that way!”
“But didn’t you just say…oh, bloody hell! Just forget it!”
“However, if I were looking for an RF, I’d ask the Mad Hatter,” the cat says, pointing to a sign that read MAD HATTER. Well, the last thing Rob wanted was more madness.
“Um, no…no thank you! I, I don’t…”
“OR, there’s always the March Hare in that direction,” the cat tells him as he points in the opposite direction.
“Yes, thank you. I think I’ll go see him.”
“Of course, he’s mad too!” the cat replies.
“Noooo! I can’t take any more mad people!!” Rob exclaims.
“Oh, you can’t help that! Most everyone’s mad around here! You may have noticed that I’m not all there myself!”
“Most everyone’s mad here! You may have noticed that I’m not all there myself!”
“I’m mad. You’re mad, ” the cat goes on, not giving Rob a chance to comment.
“How do you know I’m mad?” asks Rob.
“Oh, you must be or you wouldn’t have come here.”
With that, the cat vanishes into a fit of dissolving giggles.
To be Continued…
Much Love to you all,
I have to extend a Super HUGE Awesome THANK YOU To Mississippibellalis for making all the above “Rob in Wonderland” manips and gifs with Rob and RF in them. Her edits and graphic work helped inspire this post and as you can see She has an awesome Talent! Thank You Missi, It was great working with you!!
And as always I couldn’t do these Crazy posts without the Help of My girl Rita01tx. Thanks BB!! You’s da best!