“What’s Your Pleasure…?”

Imagine the scene, you’ve had a bad day…don’t want to go home just yet…maybe a little company will help…perhaps a tasty drink. The warmth and anonymity of a bar…a warm pair of eyes, a trustworthy smile, a sympathetic ear, maybe a sexy ass…ohhhhh! *fans self* Who needs alcohol when Barward is on duty?

And the world just became a better place; heart lightened, smile in place, you’re ready to party and celebrate life!

Raise your glasses to Edward and enjoy him in all his bartending glory! Cheers! 😉

*Another round please, Edward.*

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 *Reviews by WiltshireGlo*

The Right Guy by ThatEnglishWriter

The Right Guy ~ Bella always finds the wrong guy. The one who can’t satisfy her, ahem, needs. The one who really wants her best friend, Rosalie. But even if she never finds the Right Guy, there’s always a glass of wine and the sympathetic ear of Edward, her faithful barman.

Twilight, M, English, Romance & Humor, chapters: 10, words: 19k+, favs: 858, follows: 570, updated: Dec 28, 2012 published: Nov 25, 2012, Bella, Edward Complete

Looking for a kind, patient Edward? The kind who watches, waits, bides his time? All the while seeing the lovely Bella make mistake after mistake, often finding great hilarity in her ability to attract the wrong guy. Have no fear though, Bella is no wanton hussy, she’s just a friendly, if somewhat naïve girl who finds herself in a more than a few awkward situations. This is a lovely short-ish fic that will make you smile all the way through and warm your heart.

Edward is, of course, tending his bar when they meet and become the best of friends. He fulfills both roles of friend and the discreet all-knowing, all-seeing barman, so he is privy to all her deepest secrets. They clearly adore each other, but she just doesn’t see HIM. Until she does. *sigh*

Edward looked down at the books again, scratching the scruff on his chin. He hadn’t shaved in a couple of days.

“I don’t think that there’s anything wrong with that. It doesn’t make you shallow; it’s just not what you want for yourself. If you’re serious about a guy, you want him to be serious about you too and serious about your future together. Maybe a guy who has yet to move out of his parent’s house and get a full-time job isn’t serious enough for a woman like you. There’s someone better out there for him.”

“And me?”

“And definitely someone better for you.” He smiled, his eyes on mine. “The right guy could be right under your nose.”

I smiled, feeling much better with myself as a person.

“Thanks Edward. This is why you own a bar. You’re full of worldly wisdom and have a sympathetic ear.” I took another fry and Edward sighed heavily, pushing the bowl towards me.

The Right Guy is a feel good story, and let’s face it, we all know where this is going, but the getting-there is charming, sweet, funny and will cheer any afternoon.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8736905/1/The-Right-Guy

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The Machine Shop by angela4148

*Banner by candykisses24*

The Machine Shop ~ College graduate, Bella Swan, needs a job to pay for the student loans on a useless degree. Owner of the famous Machine Shop, Edward Cullen, is looking for a waitress, but there’s a lot more to their stories.

AH OOC

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Drama – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 16 – Words: 59,053 – Reviews: 537 – Favs: 772 – Follows: 671 – Updated: May 31 – Published: Nov 27, 2011 – Status: Complete – id: 7585753

When Bella is unable to find work after graduating she is persuaded to apply for a job at The Machine Shop, a bar renowned for the top bands that play there. Immediately there’s spark of attraction between Bella and her new boss, Edward…but admitting it is another thing.

Despite him being dark and often brooding, there is something about Edward that gets under her skin, makes her want to know more. Edward definitely wants to know everything about Bella, but there are inner demons that he’s scared will be unleashed should he take that step…so he remains aloof. Luckily others around him notice and decide to force the issue.

EPOV

I moved over to the raised merch section in the back of the bar, so I could get a bird’s eye view. I met Bella’s eyes as she stood off to the side, watching the show. It was getting towards the end of the set and the drink orders tended to slow down a little. I smiled at her and she smiled back slightly, but there was reluctance there. I looked away quickly. It was fucking stupid to lust after her since I knew from her paperwork that she was not even twenty-three. I was an old man in comparison.

I took my hat off, catching a look at the word ‘suicidal’. I ran my fingers through my hair and slid it back on, facing the word behind me. It was symbolic if I really thought about it too hard.

“Hey, everything looks good. It’s been a good night. No fights, no bullshit, and a few hot women in almost nothing,” Emmett quipped as he leaned on the stool next to me. I nodded my head at him in agreement, never taking my eyes off Bella who was back to walking in the crowd.

“I noticed that you seem to be keeping a close eye on our new girl,” he commented after a short silence.

“I just want to make sure she’s doing her job. Nothing more, Em,” I said, giving him a shitty look.

“Whatever you say, Edward. Whatever you say.

Bella finds herself -and her best friend Rosalie- rapidly and wholeheartedly welcomed by the close team working at the bar, and embraced into their warm and loving ‘family’, their lives are irrevocably entwined, troubles shared. There are no doubts that they stand together, despite the challenges they face

It’s difficult not to give too much of the plot away, but one thing you’ll never doubt is that they care deeply, are loyal and their love is strong – and maybe that’s just the catalyst for Edward to resolve his issues

I love this description of Edward through Bella’s eyes…

His smell was heady and rustic, like pine and wild flowers, but completely manly despite the floral scent. It was just simply Edward, almost a contradiction. Much like the tough tattoos and soft eyes of the man himself.

There is something so touching about a seemingly tough guy being hurt and vulnerable, and this Edward will tug at your heartstrings just a little, but it’s so worth it as it makes the story end that much sweeter.

The Machine Shop Chapter 1: Buried Alive, a twilight fanfic | FanFiction

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Cullen’s Roadhouse by TGBMcCray

Cullen’s Roadhouse ~ Bella Swan is adrift. She’s got a worthless college degree, bills, two friends, a shitty apartment, and too many ex-boyfriends. Swearing off men seems like a good idea, at least until she can figure out how to pour a proper beer and make some cash to get her head above water at Cullen’s Roadhouse. It’s an apron that sets her off. An apron, some Levi’s, and a tall glass of Diet Coke.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Humor/Drama – Bella – Chapters: 10 – Words: 10,431 – Reviews: 45 – Favs: 21 – Follows: 48 – Published: Nov 7 – id: 9828115 WiP

Let me introduce you to a great Bella! Bright, breezy, and with very little filter, she really is a treat to read, We meet her as she’s learning the ropes of tending bar from an older-than-usual Lauren. Cullen’s Roadhouse is a family-run establishment and although Edward is mainly behind the scenes at the bar, he definitely has a strong presence!

*Warning!* I’ve never really thought of an apron as sexy before, but OME, what a visual!!

About the time I get so frustrated that an exasperated “Fuck!” slips past my lips, I catch a glimpse of something decidedly male through the straggles of matted, stinky hair escaping my long braid. I look up from the ice, and he breezes right along the hallway.

 He’s wearing a black Cullen’s Roadhouse t-shirt, a pair of Levi’s, and a fucking apron. Really. He’s got a white apron looped low around his hips, just folded and tied around his waist like a dirty towel. His hair, a riot of gold and red and brown, but mostly red, flops into his eyes, which are – maybe brown? Green? I’m not sure, he’s flashing me a smile, and he’s gone. I watch him take the two steps down into the kitchen, his ass perfectly framed by the apron at his hips. His long fingers are curled around a Styrofoam cup in one hand, and a clipboard in the other.

If my thighs weren’t already soaked with beer and ice, I might have a problem right now. He had dimples. At least one anyway, and a smile that just lit me up and blew me out in front of God and country and Lauren.

I become aware that I’m clutching her arm when she says, “Ow. Bella?”

“Who was that?”

She rubs her arm and glances back toward the kitchen, into the din of noise where Adonis just descended. “Who, Edward? He works here, manages back of house.”

“Edward. Oh. Edward Cullen?”

“Yeah. Remember what I said –”

 My mouth is dry but my pussy is really, really wet. I don’t care how gross it sounds. It’s true. I think I may be working on a contact orgasm, but without the contact. I rasp at her, testing out if my voice still works. “Diet Coke.”

 “Yep.”

The shovel/ice spade in my hand is so cold, but it feels good because it’s so much hotter in here than it was before, and God knows it was hot then.

“Does he have a girlfriend?” I don’t care how forward I am. I want to know.

Lauren’s nose snurls. It’s universal chick body language for this shit is complicated. “Yeah. They just moved in together a few months back, I think. We don’t see her much in here. But they’re still together.”

“Not for long.”

 I don’t realize I’ve said it out loud till Lauren starts laughing but I am serious as a fucking heart attack. I know, I know I said I was through. I swore off men. I moved here, even though it was James’s fucking hometown, and I swore him and Jacob and all of them off, but fuck.

Edward Cullen looks sexy as sin in an apron.

I have to have him.

You know she’s going to make good on that, but in the meantime I’m enjoying seeing the cast of slightly OOC characters, who bring depth and pathos to the story. Only ten chapters in, this WiP is one worth watching for its originality, and to see if Bella, her southern accent, daisy dukes and tempting ways can beguile Edward. I’m hopeful, in fact, I don’t think he stands a chance…!

*TGBMcCray’s fanfiction.net avatar*

TGBMcCray says, “My avatar is how I see Edward in Cullen’s Roadhouse. His bar’s shirt, otherwise it’s mostly flannel and jeans.”

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9828115/1/Cullen-s-Roadhouse

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*Reviews by Cared*

When Wiltshire Glo proposed the idea of a Barward post, I admit he was not one I thought of as being a favourite Ward, but that all changed once I recalled all the brilliant Barward fics I’d previously read and enjoyed.  How had I forgotten just how sweet and sexy some of the Barwards and their stories are?

*Goes off to fantasyland where I’m the one in Bella’s shoes*

Sigh!

Can you imagine the temptation you would be faced with when Barward leans suggestively across the highly-polished bar, gives you one of his patented sexy smirks and asks, “what’s your pleasure?”  Be honest now, can any one of you put your hand on heart and say you would resist asking for a naughty sounding cocktail?  I know I wouldn’t!  I suspect I may go so far as to beg for order positions cocktails such as a ‘Long, Hard Screw Against the Wall’ or a ‘Screaming Orgasm’…preferably both together! LOL

So, peruse the menu below ladies…and enjoy!

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One Bartender, Shaken and Stirred by GrayMatters and Iadorepugs 

One Bartender, Shaken and Stirred ~ Winner of the Public Vote in the Curvaceous & Bodacious Contest – thank you for your votes! Collab w/Iadorepugs-Edward Cullen owns the popular nightclub Eclipse where image is supposedly everything. When plus-sized Bella Swan is drafted into helping out at Eclipse what will they both learn about images? One Shot

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Humor – Edward, Bella – Words: 8,368 – Reviews: 103 – Favs: 256 – Follows: 80 – Published: Apr 13, 2011 – Status: Complete – id: 6900255

The shaken and stirred bartender in question here is hot and intense, there is no denying it, but for me, it’s Bella who makes this a great fic. Why? She is curvaceous and bodacious, and beautiful both inside and out.  She is confident, comfortable in her own skin, witty…feisty even.  As they are short-staffed, Alice, one of Edward’s partners at Eclipse, persuades Bella to work waiting tables at the nightclub…  Narrow minded Edward likes a certain look for his staff – “super skinny supermodel types with perfect figures” – something Bella is not!

BPOV

I took a deep breath, glad that I was pissed, otherwise I would be drooling as usual at the sight of the Greek God in front of me. He had to be one of the most handsome men I’d ever seen, with reddish-brown hair that was messy and wild, combined with lush emerald green eyes that studied me speculatively. He was tall, over six feet, with broad shoulders and muscular arms that were showcased by the black tee shirt he wore. But no matter now good looking he was, I didn’t appreciate his attitude towards me when I was here to do a favor for him.

Don’t worry that Edward appears to be a bit of an Assward at the beginning; all is not as it seems and by the end he more than redeems himself. 😉

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6900255/1/One-Bartender-Shaken-and-Stirred

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Gravity by Coldplaywhore

Gravity ~ What happens when Edward, a handsome bartender, offers Bella a shoulder to cry on after a rough day at work and discovers they have more in common than they thought? For SassyK. Fandom Gives Back One-Shot. Rated M for dirty dirty things.

Twilight – Rated: M – English – Romance/Friendship – Chapters: 1 – Words: 7,209 – Reviews: 150 – Published: 1-7-10 – Edward, Bella

Edward enjoys a quiet life and doesn’t like to rock the boat so tending bar in Black, “an unassuming joint”, a few blocks away from the University of Washington Medical Center, suits him perfectly…

EPOV

My favorite patrons were usually the nurses who came in from the hospital after a long shift, and there were several that I had struck up interesting friendships with over the two years I had worked there. There were the flirty nurses like Tanya, Jessica and Lauren, who even though they all steady boyfriends, didn’t seem to hesitate in asking me out. I never dated a patron though; it just wasn’t worth my time or aggravation since Charlotte frowned on any of her employees dating customers. However, that wasn’t completely true because there was one frequent visitor to the bar I would consider dating, but she never once showed any signs of interest in me, much to my frustration.

The frequent customer who stars in both his dreams and daydreams is Bella, a pediatric nurse…

Usually when they were at Black, I spent a little too much time watching Bella. Well, a little too much to be considered healthy for a normal man, but I couldn’t help it. She was beautiful. Bella had big round chocolate colored eyes that worked in perfect harmony with her long brown hair that she usually kept in a ponytail. Some nights when she came in, she would pull the elastic from her hair and shake it out, letting it fall down her back as my pants found themselves getting rather snug from the sight. It was on those nights that I thanked god that I was behind the bar, because there was nothing more stunning then Bella with her hair down.

Eventually Edward’s policy of being “willing to listen” pays off much better than he ever expected, gravity will not be denied, and so the owner’s policy of no fraternising with the customers is thrown out with the slops.  This Gravity cocktail is sweet, hot, romantic – enjoy!

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5647741/1/Gravity

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Olympic Rain and Novocain by AddiCakes

Olympic Rain and Novocain ~ A waitress’s pain, a bartender’s secrets, & one fateful night. “The silken lilt flowing from his flawless lips envelopes her…soothes her…rocks her gently back and forth…until the tingly sensation fades into numbness. Numb. Like Novocain.” AH

Rated: Fiction M – English – Angst/Romance – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 30 – Words: 81,468 – Reviews: 1,331 – Favs: 1,047 – Follows: 597 – Updated: Feb 28, 2010 – Published: Aug 5, 2009 – Status: Complete – id: 5276294

Olympic Rain and Novocain is a beautifully written, moving story of that I read a few years back, and have not forgotten. As AddiCakes says “If you’re in the mood for some angst and dark secrets mixed with romance & sexual tension, please give my little story a try. I promise you will not be disappointed!” I know I wasn’t!

Bella is a lonely soul from Mississippi working as a diner waitress and living in Forks with her police chief father.  Perhaps residing in Forks would be a more accurate description as she is not living, merely existing; she is sad, depressed and is hiding from life.  Her relationship with Charlie is pretty miserable and I could have cried for Bella when he forgot her 19^th birthday, though paradoxically, that turns out to be the best thing he ever did for her. She decided to spend the night out doing whatever she wanted, in a different town, with different people—a little birthday indulgence.

BPOV

Engine rattle and radio static are all that keep her company as she makes the hour-long drive east on the one-oh-one. It does not matter that she’ll probably end up standing by herself in the corner of the club. It also does not matter that she’ll be forced to wear one of those orange bracelets signifying she’s underage. What does matter is that the few remaining hours of her nineteenth birthday are not spent listening to her father’s snoring.

How I admire both her bravery and her attitude!

Movement on the stage rescues Bella from sinking any further into a miserable reverie. She eyes the young bartender stepping into plain sight, a barstool in one hand and a guitar in the other. A spotlight shines from the floor, illuminating his lean, yet muscular, form. He is tall—six feet, at least. His attire is casual, a navy blue t-shirt, dark jeans and black Converse sneakers. His short sleeves reveal the sinewy definition in his arms as he adjusts the mic stand to his liking. He runs a nervous hand through his untidy brown hair—or perhaps, it’s auburn. She can’t be certain in this lighting.

The distracted audience fails to take notice of him until they hear the tweaking of his guitar strings. More heads turn in attention when he clears his throat. But as for Bella Swan, she is captivated by him long before he croons the first verse…

And so Bella discovers her Novocain…her own personal brand of heroin…Edward!  I wish I could say ‘and they all lived happily ever after’ at this point, but I can’t.  Temporary solutions to pain are just that – temporary.  Bella and Edward, for he has his own secret to confront, have growing to do. Their initial friendship develops into a relationship as they travel down the road of forgiveness, reconciliation and acceptance of their pasts that cannot be changed.

Set aside a few hours for reading this as once you start, you won’t want to stop.

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5276294/1/Olympic-Rain-and-Novocain

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*Review by Midnight Cougar*

Sandstone Cove by cosmogirl7481 

*Banner by Jaime Arkin*

Sandstone Cove ~ I came here looking for some rest, some relaxation…some downtime. I never expected to find anything else. I certainly never expected to find him. Written for Marvar’s birthday because I love her. Rated M for reasons.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 19 – Words: 14,259 – Reviews: 1,322 – Favs: 605 – Follows: 434 – Updated: Aug 3 – Published: Aug 2 – Status: Complete – id: 9555470

It’s no secret that the legendary Cosmogirl7481 writes the best birthday presents for her beta and bestie, Marvar, and we, her loyal readers, are the lucky ones to also reap the benefits! I’ve been a Cosmo fan for quite some time now; read just about every word she’s written, and Barward, in Sandstone Cove, is simply another reason why I enjoy her stories so much. This romantic Edward, who will make you swoon and fan yourself with his sweet, sometimes dirty words and sexy demeanor, is swept into Bella’s vacation world with the waves of a sandy tide…

I can feel the soft, worn wood under my legs as I sit on the railing of the boardwalk. The sun is just now rising over the ocean – vivid flecks of yellow, pink, and just a hint of lavender fill the horizon that seems so far off, and yet, I feel as if I could reach out and touch it.

And just like the colors, everything seems hazy.

I came here looking for some rest, some relaxation…some downtime.

I never expected to find anything else.

I certainly never expected to find him.

…I hear his voice behind me. “I thought I’d find you here.”

He presses up against my back and his arms wrap around my waist as he pulls me against his warm, bare chest. Everything about this – about him – is soft and hard and fucking perfect. I don’t even try to fight it. I melt against him as the sun bathes us both in its warmth. He holds me steady as I push against him, and even though I know he has to let me go, right now he doesn’t.

He won’t.

As the wind whips my hair around the both of us, I turn my head back, looking up at him, and say, “You didn’t find me here, Edward. I found you.”

The smooth ebb and flow of this complete, 19 chapter story, from the beautiful beach and resort setting that is romantic and relaxing, to the friendly bartender and his welcoming family, will leave you captivated and wanting to be at Sandstone Cove yourself. Bella “just needed a little downtime” to escape her stressful and complicated life at home, and Barward, while serving up “Sex on the Beach” also offers her more than a good drink, as he leads her to reevaluate her life and responsibilities. And you never know, as a wise cabbie told Bella when she arrived: “This is the closest thing to paradise I’ve ever found. You might just decide not to leave.” I wonder if Bella did indeed make this decision? Well, you’ll just have to check into the Ocean View Resort to find out. Oh, and don’t forget your sunscreen…Barward is on drink and sunscreen duty! *wink* Enjoy!

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/9555470/1/Sandstone-Cove

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*Review by AllyVera*

Paper CutOuts by twistedcoincidence and astilbe13

*Let us know if you made this.*

Paper CutOuts ~ Bella prefers the virtual to the actual, but feels herself being tugged from the safety of her online realm into the world of a rough edged Edward. This time she’ll write her own story. Collab with astilbe13 AH/AU

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Angst – Bella, Edward – Chapters: 34 – Words: 136,587 – Reviews: 10,068 – Favs: 5,753 – Follows: 3,532 – Updated: Feb 16, 2011 – Published: May 24, 2010 – Status: Complete – id: 5993964

I am showing my Twi-Fic age here, but I read Paper CutOuts when it was a mere WIP, and it is one of those stories that stays with you long after the last word is read. I personally think the best thing about the story is how real it feels – not just the storyline, but the characters of Edward and Bella.  Neither are perfect, but that just seems to make them better.

Instead of telling you about Bella’s life before she meets Edward, I think I will let her tell you… (Chapter One)

“There are no highlights in the story of my life, no cliff hangers, no nail biting moments. Everything drones on like the predictable beat of a metronome, no down beats or flourishes. My parents seem to think that this is the their ultimate gift to me. They call it comfort, stability. I call it hell.

It can’t be completely blamed on them. I have been easily led down this path. Every time I had the chance to stick a toe out of line, I’ve gone chicken shit and recoiled back to the familiar. So, I’ve been the bystander. I watched as my friends took risks, stuck out their necks, handed out their hearts, all while I seethed with jealousy.

I sigh as my pen taps out a simple beat against the cheap vinyl of my cubicle desk. At least I’m next to a window. Not something I fought for, just a simple coincidence that the lucky bastard I replaced passed down to me. My phone beeps incessantly at me and I exhale slowly, narrowing my eyes at the black box. I pull the receiver to my ear and try to sound awake.

“Good afternoon, I’m calling to tell you about the amazing results you can get with….” My voice drones on as I wait for the familiar dial tone. I am that person. The scum who calls at the worst time and tries to con you into signing up for a pill that will in no way make you look like Jennifer Aniston, but will be emptying your bank account slowly, as you forget you are being billed monthly.”

As you can see, Bella is not really fulfilling her potential, but she starts to when she meets Edward, who owns the bar close to Bella’s work.  After a bit of a disastrous first meeting with Bella nearly cracking her head open on Edward’s bar, this seemingly mismatched couple strike up a friendship which eventually leads to more.  Of course, in all this is Edward’s son, Finn – who is one of the most delightful children I have read in Fan Fic.  He is a shining star in this story, as is Edward’s boundless love for him. *Sigh – Daddyward! Yum*

There are rough patches in this story where Bella and Edward are carving out their future, but the angst is perfectly balanced with lightness in this story – there are many giggle out-loud moments, as well as the moments where you reach for the Kleenex – it truly is wonderful!

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/5993964/1/Paper-CutOuts 

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Barward’s Reading Library

A Lot by crimsonmarie (Previous review Here)

Beaches and Boardwalks by jaxon22

Firefly in Summer by PrimaryColors (Previous review Here)

Last Call by Robsmyyummy Cabanaboy (Previous review Here)

Rescission by GeekChic12 (Previous review Here)

Stolen Secrets and Shattered Dreams by Foxxyj (Previous review Here)

The Crack in The Door by janewithay (Previous review Here)

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I seriously want to hug, squeeze and smooch both AllyVera and Cared for their fantastic banners *mwah* thank you for bringing Barward to life, ladies! (WG)

Now fix yourself your favourite tipple, whether it be tea, iced tea or a Long Island Iced Tea…and lose yourself within a bar with Edward, but remember, we want to hear your recs too! 🙂

The FicSix

Unusualward!

Our post today is focused on Unusual Edwards, ones that we found unique and extraordinary, with distinct characteristics – whether from nature or nurture – that made him memorable and fascinating to read.

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*Reviews by Cared*

Wicked Games by ClaireBamboozle

*Made by Nina Rose*

Wicked Games ~ She has watched him for years, he is grace, beauty and goodness and she is a sinner. It isn’t just the river of Hell fires which separates them. Given a chance will Bella corrupt the one pure thing in her life?

Rated: Fiction M – English – Supernatural/Fantasy – Bella & Edward – Chapters: 7 – Words: 16,521 – Reviews: 88 – Favs: 43 – Follows: 31 – Updated: 06-29-13 – Published: 06-09-13 – Status: Complete – id: 9372426

ClaireBamboozle certainly pegged this short story correctly when she selected the genre as being Supernatural/Fantasy, for that’s exactly what her fantastical tale is – from beginning to end.  Edward, full of beauty and grace, is an angel standing guard outside the gates of Heaven, while Isabella is one of the damned on the far side of the great divide.  It would be hard to think of any two beings across all of Heaven and Earth Hell, who are less likely to form a bond – but they do – and it irrevocably alters their existence.  Isabella lives – perhaps I should say exists – in a place where cruelty and wickedness are rife, as the concubine of the creature she calls the Big D.  Yes, the Devil himself!  She prefers to be solitary in her suffering rather than allow herself care for someone she may later witness tortured, but there is someone her thoughts and eyes linger on…

The divide stretches wide between us.  A raging see of seething, bubbling fire.  Brimstone hangs heavy in the smoky air, stinging my eyes.  He is unaffected, serene, pure.

For so long, decades most likely I’ve watched him with an unwavering eye.  Studied his form and cataloged it all.  I’ve memorized every line of his carved physique, the angles of his ethereal face.  The sharpness of his jaw.  His full lips that purse when he is deep in though and those green eyes which pierce the vast distance between us and make my blackened heart soar.  He is perfection.  When he turns my way I fee desire flame within me, even if he doesn’t notice me.

I want him. Badly.

I have spent years hoping for a chance to corrupt and bring him to my side.  But I can’t have him.  He is the gatekeeper to a realm I dare not enter; trusted and true.  I know I hold no appeal to his sight.  To him I am invisible…

Or so she thinks.

Now you might assume this Angelward is about as far from canon Edward as you can get, but no…he still has those essential qualities that make my knees go weak.  For instance, while it’s Isabella’s soul that is damned…not his, and there is no car spinning on ice or rogue vampire after her blood, Edward ever the protector, is drawn to save Isabella – this time from eternal torment.  Will a leap of faith be enough to bridge the gap between their worlds?

Read this sinfully good story to find out!

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9372426/1/Wicked-Games

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She Speaks Fear and Truth by ericastwilight

*Made by emerald_rosalie*

She Speaks Fear and Truth ~ She’s haunted daily, but learns to deal with her gift, helping those in need. He hides behind his opinions, seeking closure, barely living. When their worlds collide can they help each other. A story of loss, love and betrayal with a supernatural twist.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Supernatural/Hurt/Comfort – Bella & Edward – Chapters: 14 – Words: 45,467 – Reviews: 1,679 – Favs: 984 – Follows: 649 – Updated: 09-04-10 – Published: 10-10-09 – Status: Complete – id: 5434481

To be fair to potential readers, I have to share straight away this story deals with the aftermath and memories of a child’s death.  Let me explain: this story is Twilight fanfic, but it’s also very close to the TV show Ghost Whisperer, with a little Ghost Hunters thrown in to deepen the plot.  I have long admired ericastwilight’s skill as an author so it’s no surprise how this sensitive subject is written with grace and respect.

Professor Cullen is a university lecturer by profession, he is the head of a team of paranormal investigators by obsession, but his daughter has been missing for three years and the heartbreaking, overwhelming role in his life is that of grieving father.  At first Edward appeared to me as something of an oxymoron: in his work with the Denver Paranormal Society he revels in debunking paranormal occurrences, yet he sets up recording equipment nightly in the hope of hearing his daughter.  I’m no psychoanalyst, and so don’t ask me to explain his behaviour, but I did come to understand it and admire the loving father that he is – down to his very soul.  Sadly, Edward is forced to learn and accept the terrible truth upon coming face to face with ghost whisperer Bella…

EPOV

I didn’t know how much time had passed as I sat on a stool behind the podium. A cool draft swept around me, and I felt my pants leg pull lightly. 

Great. Now my fucking head was playing tricks on me again. The pull on my pants increased.

“Hayley.” I sobbed.

“Was that her name?”

I jumped slightly from her loud voice in the quiet room. I looked up at her and my anger returned.

“You should know. I’m sure you’ve done your research.” I got up from my stool and slammed my briefcase shut. I turned to erase a large chalkboard behind me, trying my best to ignore her. 

“Wait,” she said quietly. I stopped. I had no idea why I did. Maybe it was the pleading nature behind her request. “She wants to tell you my name.” I turned, my anger flaring. But instead of meeting my eyes, she was looking at something on the chalkboard.

My hand shook as wet letters started to form in the chalk dust.

Bella.

I love you, Mr. Toad.

I sobbed, dropping the eraser in my hand. The sounds leaving my lips disturbed the quiet peace in the room, causing the writing to still.

“She couldn’t find a way to talk,” Bella said softly. “Not even for your recordings.”

As the letters started to dry, more took their place.

I’m sorry, Daddy.

“No, baby,” I whispered. “I am.”

“Professor Cullen, I’m sorry about my outburst. At first, I assumed the worst –”

I shook my head, because I wasn’t sorry. I needed this. “Why can’t she talk?” I looked up at Bella just as she cringed.

“Every time she tries, water comes out,” she said with a sigh.

I sobbed and fell to my knees. Bella came to my side but kept her distance, just hovering.

“Until now,” I murmured, “she’s only been considered missing.”

This beautiful story made me cry, but amazingly, given the sensitive plot line, it never made me despair.  She Speaks Fear and Truth is complete and each of its 14 chapters are packed full of love – and eventually hope and light.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5434481/1/She-Speaks-Fear-and-Truth

To be privy to the development of Edward and Bella’s relationship, and to experience ghost hunting, join them, an arachnophobic Emmett 😉 and the rest of the team in the sequel…

Denver Paranormal Society

*Made by ericastwilight*

Denver Paranormal Society ~ Sequel to She Speaks Fear and Truth. Follow Edward’s team, and Bella, the newest ghost-hunting member. With Bella’s abilities will it only bring Edward’s team to more harm? Their relationship is put to the ultimate test.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Supernatural/Romance – Bella & Edward – Chapters: 14 – Words: 53,959 – Reviews: 584 – Favs: 399 – Follows: 519 – Updated: 10-10-13 – Published: 10-30-10 – id: 6437814

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6437814/1/Denver-Paranormal-Society

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Heat by PrincessRachael

*Made by Cricrila Redlips*

Heat ~ Edward is an Alpha wolf of a dying pack in a world where she-wolves no longer exist. The responsibilities of too many lives rest on his shoulders and he’s running out of time. Edward/Bella. Graphic lemons, violence, sensitive themes. Mature.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Supernatural – Bella & Edward – Chapters: 32 – Words: 128,473 – Reviews: 3,405 – Favs: 1,374 – Follows: 1,986 – Updated: 10-12-13 – Published: 06-29-13 – id: 9441302

Rita10tx recommended this fic in the comments on the Maps To The Stars post, and since that girl knows a good fic when she reads it, it zoomed to the top of my TBR list.

Now, this is where I ask you to trust me, set aside any preconceived ideas you have of the form you like your Edwards to take, because ladies…this Edward is a wolf!  Yes, that’s right – a wolf!  Edward, Bella, and the rest of  favourite characters are still mythical creatures, although, vampires don’t exist… not in their world.  It’s amazing to me, and indeed, a testament to PrincessRachael’s talent and insight as a writer, that even though Edward’s ability to shapeshift and its inherent consequenses are integral and essential to the plot, he exudes those essential qualities to make him – the man and the wolf – an Edward I can love.

Talking of the plot: the shapeshifters are in danger of eventual extinction if the abundance of males fail to find mates and produce female cubs.  A she-wolf in heat is about as rare as Trekkie at a Twilight convention, so let’s what happens when Bella quite literally runs into Edward’s neck of the woods…

It was a she-wolf!

He couldn’t believe his eyes. A she-wolf in his territory. After all this time, after decades of searching, one had suddenly turned up in his own backyard! It was absolutely unbelievable, the most farfetched notion he could have imagined. And if any member of his pack would have reported her existence, he wouldn’t have believed it. But there she stood, clear as daylight in the murky darkness, yet seemingly fragile as an apparition. He feared she would unexpectedly disappear just as quickly as she had arrived.

The spotless white she-wolf was watching them from her perch in the furthest reaches of the tree. She was the most flawless animal Edward had ever beheld. Her eyes were the color of whiskey, not quite gold, nor that dull blond that was typical in so many wolves, but sparkling with hints of amber and saffron. Even from this distance, Edward could tell she was about half his size. In general, she-wolves were smaller than their male counterparts, but regardless, her little frame captivated him. And the way she paced nervously from branch to branch made Edward growl in response. He was instantly protective and ravenous for her at the same time.

The intensity in her eyes and the scent from her body was part of what was affecting Jasper so zealously. Clearly she was up in the tree because the gray wolf’s behavior had frightened her. She was now looking desperately around for a place of escape. She seemed oblivious to the true cause of Jasper’s unease. And perhaps she didn’t know, Edward reasoned as he felt his own body start to sink into the same depths where Jasper now swam. His wolf instincts were beginning to completely take over.

The she-wolf was in heat.

On one level Heat is a simple Edward and Bella love story, but then layer in the relationship between their wolves, the volatile relationship with Sam’s rabid pack and Aro’s crazed one.  Also add to the Petri dish, the scientific work to solve fertility problems, the possible extinction of the species, personal tragedy, a mad scientist intent on industrial espionage, brutal, unethical animal hunters, and turn up the heat with hot lemons.  All in all, it’s an explosive fic and a tremendous read!

*Please not the author’s warning of violence and sensitive themes.*

***PrincessRachael will be removing her stories from FanFiction.net on 31st October, 2013.***

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9441302/1/Heat

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*Review by AllyVera*

Please Rescue Me by theonlykyla

*Made by Ally Vera*

Please Rescue Me  ~ Edward was a shy young man when he fell in love for the first time. He learned the hard way that love shouldn’t hurt, right? When Bella cames into his life, he was at the end of his rope. Can she really offer him salvation? Can he dare to hope?

Rated: Fiction M – English – Drama/Hurt/Comfort – Edward • Bella – Chapters: 50 – Words: 77,266 – Reviews: 2,033 – Favs: 519 – Follows: 398 – Updated: 03-20-12 – Published: 11-21-11 – Status: Complete – id: 7569689

When my lovely colleague Cared first mentioned an Unusalward post my brain kicked into overdrive at which stories I have read that would fit best under this category, and in fairness, there isn’t really many, but the ones that you do read tend to stick out and the story I have chosen to share with you today is absolutely no exception.

I have read hundreds of Twilight Fan Fics and this story is the only one I have ever read with this premise for an Edward. This story made me cry and feel a little hopeless for our Edward, but ultimately, it is an amazing love story (just a very different one).

Please Rescue Me  bursts out at you at the very first chapter. I think the best way for you to get a glimpse of Edward is straight from chapter one (EPOV)…

“Bruises.

I hate having to find ways to cover the bruises.

This time, I’m not sure how to cover the bruise you left on me.

A hand print is clearly visible across my cheek.

I can’t call in sick again this week, but there is no reasonable explanation for the mark you left on me. Especially when all I asked was if she had any laundry that needed to be done.

She flew into a rage and screamed at me for being so weak as to want to take care of her laundry. I thought that’s what nice boyfriends did for their girlfriends.

She punched my chest and smacked my head.

She slapped me across the face then demanded that I fuck her.

I wasn’t even hard. How could I be hard when she just assaulted me?

I thought that I loved her, but this morning I realized love shouldn’t hurt. Not this much. Not this way.

But, I can’t leave her because she’s made sure I have nowhere to go. She’s destroyed my relationship with my parents; my sister has to sneak phone calls to me at work once a week just to check on me. My friends have all given up on me.

I am alone.

I’m lucky she allows me to work. But someone has to support her habits after my parents cut me off financially once I told them that I wouldn’t leave her. That was back when I still thought that she loved me, before I realized this is who she really is. I would take it all back now if I could.

I have no idea where to turn or how I can get out of this mess. But, I have to because there’s nothing left for me to endure, except death.

Someone, please rescue me.”

Um, yeah. And before you panic the “she” you read about above is not Bella! Bella shows up in the second chapter, and for Edward, meeting her is the turning point of his life as he knows it.

This story is full of angst, and it is definitely a story that comes with lots of warnings but if you can handle angst, it is such a wonderful story about a man who has lost all his self-esteem, dignity and power – but through one woman who fights for him and loves him unconditionally, he is able to gain it all back. I fell a little bit in love with Batteredward (as he is nicknamed) and he holds a special place in my heart!

*Please make sure to note the author’s warnings that come with Chapter One*

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7569689/1/Please-Rescue-Me

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*Review by Midnight Cougar*

Double Struck by Honeybeemeadows

*Banner made by Deebelle Onefic*

Double Struck ~ I found her on top of a mountain. And I wasn’t even trying.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Mystery – Bella · Edward – Chapters: 5 – Words: 7,718 – Reviews: 399 – Favs: 268 – Follows: 528 – Updated: 10-10-13 – Published: 09-19-13 – id: 9698747

Genres: Adventure, Alternate Universe, Suspense, Romance

When I read the simple yet intriguing summary, and then immediately afterward the first chapter of Double Struck, I was struck with the feeling that this mysterious Edward is “more.”  That he has some kind of unusual “sixth sense” or “sight” and also that he is a complex guy – I must admit I was truly fascinated by him and the unique storyline, and still am. It’s only five chapters in, and I honestly have no idea where it’s going, but I do know that I am looking forward to this adventure, no matter where Mountainward/Otherward takes me.

Edward and his dog, Moose, climb and hike to the top of El Diente, located in San Juan Mountains of Colorado, to escape life and to seek solitude…

*excerpt chapter 1*

I picked El Diente because it was as far away as I could possibly get.

Four hours down the highway, two hours up a dirt road. Twelve miles of winding foot trail and that was just to the base. Then, there was a damn near treacherous climb to the peak. Rough cut rock newly erupted, unclaimed wilderness flopped out on all sides for as far as the eye could see. Mile upon monolithic mile of savage, undisciplined nature and little tiny me, smack in the middle of an unbroken run of prehistoric rock.

It seemed like a tasteful amount of distance to put between myself and society.

The slow-rising sun was only just beginning to stain the skyline pale yellow and powdered purple, not a single cloud in sight.

*El Diente Peak*
*Image from: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/El_Diente_Peak*

While Edward paints a beautiful picture, with breathtaking descriptions, what he finds is not exactly the serenity he was looking for, as his “sight” kicks in…

*excerpt chapter 1*

That bark. It had been so long since I’d heard him make that particular sound, I was still wondering what he could possibly mean by it when I got a full body flash of her.

Like a wrecking ball.

Like a meteor.

My knees hit the trail, then my palms. Fingers clutching dust. Lungs choking on blistering hot air. My head tried to turn itself inside out, eyes glued to the shimmery silhouette of a girl standing far off in the distance. Barely an inch tall and blurred around the edges before she jumped from light years away to impossibly close, from miles to the microscopic level in a single, tripwire heartbeat.

Shoved right up in my face, underneath my skin.

I could feel her, taste her, cell to cell for one solid instant.

I fought down the urge to black out and focused my eyes on the dirt, gulping down the wild spin of the faraway horizon on either side, breaking out into a sweat. I might as well be wrist-deep in the sun, rocks burning, heat flooding off the peak in a thick eruption of molten fire. It churned down the slippery slope, a pyroclastic flow of unearthly heat and scorching acid air as the mountain twisted itself into a spectre of its former glory.

A proverbial volcano.

Fuck.

There was someone up there.

And I’ll let you guess who that someone is! *wink* I will tell you she is not in good shape – emotionally or physically, but it’s what Edward does for her and their adventure so far – how the hell did she get way up there?! – along with the mysterious elements like “…landed back in my body,” that will draw you into this suspense-filled and distinctive story. Well, all that and the obvious pull these two seem to have for each other; I have a feeling they have both been struck by something exciting and unusual!

 http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9698747/1/Double-Struck

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The new website for the Age of Edward 2013 – Anonymous Story and Banner Contest can be found here.  Get reading ladies, with such variety you are sure to find an Edward and era that tickles your fancy. Don’t forget, there is still time to enter with either a story or a banner.

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As always, please share what you’re reading this week, or a fic you’ve never forgotten.  Whether Edward is unusual or not, tell us about him – we love them all!

The FicSix

Variety is the Spice of Life!

Whether you’re relaxing into an airplane seat, a deckchair at the beach, or a cozy couch near a fireside Down Under, settling down to read is one of life’s great pleasures. Today on FanFiction Fridays, we have quite the mixture of entertaining fics for you: three complete fics, a one shot, a wondrous WIP, and a drabble, bringing not only romance, friendship, and the supernatural from both human and vampire worlds, but Edward/Bella, Alice/Jasper, and Edward/Emmett. 

We are also delighted and honoured to have the talented Raum and Camilla10 join us today.

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*Review by Raum and Camilla10*

The Brandons by jmolly

*Made by Raum using art by Alicexz on Deviantart*

The Brandons ~ Edward gives Alice the key to her past and future: a phone number for her sister. Companion fic to ‘I Hunger’, but stands alone easily. Vamps/humans, somewhat AU.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Family/Romance – Alice & Jasper – Chapters: 20 – Words: 98,369 – Reviews: 386 – Favs: 70 – Follows: 70 – Updated: 12-07-11 – Published: 05-29-10 – id: 6008317

In the Twilight Saga, the passage from human to vampire represents a very important theme — just think about Bella’s desire to become like Edward, or Edward’s views about his soul. But there’s another passage that is not less important: the one from vampire to human. In this case, the body or the physiology of an immortal creature aren’t going to change, but the vampire gets the possibility to discover some traits of his humanity again. It happens to Edward, through his love for Bella, and it happens to Alice in an amazing story by the talented Jmolly.

Jmolly is a very prolific author, and her stories feature our beloved vamps, with a bunch of very original and intriguing twists. She has a very fine ironic trait, but she can also make you cry in front of the screen (if you don’t trust me, go read “The Sad Story of Woof”). She can describe the characters’ feelings very well, and in her fics they often admit and talk about their most hidden fears and desires.

In “The Brandons” Jmolly focuses on Alice.

Alice’s human past was a mystery for herself and the Cullens, because the pain of the venom had erased all of her human memories during her transformation. It’s through Bella that Alice finally gets back something about the human, broken girl she once was: when Bella is attacked by James at the ballet studio, he tells her about Alice, who once escaped him.

In Jmolly’s fic, Edward gives Alice the key to her past and future: a phone number for her sister. Let’s read how the author describes this pivotal scene

“Alice? I have something for you.” Edward reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet.

“What is it?” I wondered, nonplussed.

“You haven’t Seen?” he asked hesitantly. A very old, very tiny old lady,grinning and refusing to let go of my hand. Sticking out her other hand for Jazz to kiss.

I shook my head, confused, and waited for my brother to enlighten me. “Who is she?”

“Cynthia,” he informed me kindly. I shot to my feet, anxiety and something suspiciously like anger engulfed me. Both Edward and Jasper recoiled.

“It can’t be. It can’t be! I saw the gravestone. She’s been dead since 1945, Edward. I looked for her. She was the only Brandon I found in the records.”

“It’s her. She was thinking about your mother and wishing that her family’s birth and death notices were available. They’re planning a reunion. I guess there was a fire at the church and a lot of history was lost. That’s how I caught on. Your father had a sister named Cynthia, too. It was her grave you found. Her gravestone only lists the date of her death, because the records were lost and your parents had already passed on. Only your sister remained, and she didn’t know the date of birth, only death.”

I stood stiffly, trembling, and my breath huffed out in a whimper. “My sister’s not dead,” I said numbly.

“She’s not dead, and she wants to meet you.”

My eyes flew to Edward’s face. “How?”

Are you already curious to see how will Alice reconnect not only with her much alive sister but with a bunch of endearing “descendants”? All this while a hurricane threatens to sweep the new found family away. So they need to be rescued by human and non human means, but it is still necessary to keep the secret. You will laugh, you will bite your nails, and at the end of the journey you will be happy for them.

Jmolly’s story is complete, so you’ll get all your answers in a timely manner.Happy reading!

Camilla and Raum

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6008317/1/The-Brandons

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*Review by Raum*

The Decision by windchymes

*Made by Jaime Arkin*

The Decision ~ Edward made a decision after that second biology lesson. Two years later that decision is challenged.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance – Edward & Bella – Chapters: 9 – Words: 96,613 – Reviews: 2,382 – Favs: 2,325 – Follows: 1,770 – Updated: 10-15-11 – Published: 03-05-11 – Status: Complete – id: 6797418

Don’t miss it because…

I could list many reasons why The Decision is one of my favorite fics. I’ve reread it several times, and every time I end up savoring each word and noticing new details. I’m going to give you just five reasons why you can’t miss this story; feel free to add yours!

1. Edward 

I know, Edward Cullen is always a good reason! This story features an amazing Vampward — sweet without being sappy, mature without being a controlling jerk. Vampires are supposed to be unchanging, but in Windchymes’ stories they do change. Edward is open to discussing his beliefs with Bella, and chapter by chapter his views on his soul–and on Bella’s choice to become a vampire–change. This takes us to the second reason…

2. Characters

The Decision features the Cullen coven, other canon vampires (we meet Tanya, and traditional vamps), but also a bunch of great original characters. Each of them is well developed. Forget the clichés. Forget a Bella who spends her time just taking care of her parents, or a brooding Edward. Both Edward and Bella make–or have already made–new experiences in this story. They talk about the places they’ve visited and the ones they’d like to discover, they have many interests and projects. Edward and Bella work wonderfully well together, but they’re capable of being apart as well. I absolutely love the way the author shows how the characters’ psychology change as the story progresses.In Chapter 2, we read:

Edward breathed in her scent and let his throat burn while his heart rejoiced. She was here.
Of course he had called for her, and as they’d set off from her front door he had wanted to offer her his arm. And if it had been 1918 he would have. But it wasn’t 1918.

So they walked side by side, talking about her new history assignment and his transfer, while they both balled their hands tightly in their pockets.
They sat on the grass by the lagoon and Edward showed off, skimming stones perfectly across the surface of the water, making them bounce and dance.

“Impressive,” Bella smirked and Edward smiled.

“There’s a lake in Switzerland, in the Bernese Alps, that’s perfectly still,” he said. “It has perfect reflection and they say if you skim stones across it, it looks like glass breaking.” Edward actually knew this because he’d done it.

Bella smiled. “That sounds beautiful,” she said. “I saw a lake like that in France. I tried skimming, but my stone just sank.”

It took a fraction of a second for Edward to realise what Bella had just said. “You’ve been to France?”

“Uh huh.”

“When?”

“Between graduation and starting college.” She had been sitting with her legs curled under her, but she stretched out now, leaning back on her hands. She tilted her head to look at the sky and extended her neck as she did so. She breathed deeply. And while part of Edward’s mind was still absorbing the fact she’d been to France, another part marvelled that she felt comfortable enough with him to expose herself that way. Even unwittingly.

She made another shift, changing her position and curling her legs beneath her again, the opposite way this time. Her movement broke Edward’s gaze. Now he stared at her profile, her eyes downcast as she plucked at the grass, and he focussed on what she’d just said.

He had questions, so many questions, and he didn’t know where to start. So he summed it up in two words.

“Tell me?”

3. Travels

I mentioned that Edward and Bella have many travel experiences to share in this story; it’s well researched, and the places where it’s set play a role in it. The main part of the story is set in Chicago, and you’ll be able to discover many of its important landmarks. Some European cities are mentioned, and the characters will become your guides, making you see those places through their eyes, sharing their emotions. A part of the story is set in Greece, and it makes it an ideal reading for the summer. But I can’t tell you more…

4. Writing

The writing is elegant, smooth, and captivating. Every word is like a gem, carefully chosen and with many facets to discover. I love the way the author describes objects that play a role in the story–a certain purple cashmere blanket, for example–and the way the characters voice their feelings. Windchymes’ words will stay with you.

5. Angst-free

This story has a good plot, and it’s very well told. There are moments when you’ll be worried for the characters, or when you’ll be afraid, but there’s no angst-for-angst’s-sake. This is another reason why I’m sure it will be a great fic for the holidays.

– Raum

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6797418/1/The-Decision

Windchymes is now a published original fiction author under name Suzanne Carroll, with her books, The Thunderstorm, and Over the Edge.  Congratulations to her!

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Thanks so much to Raum and Camilla for taking the time to share these favourite fics with us. MWAH!

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*Reviews by Cared*

Fill Me With Your Poison  by Nolebucgrl

*Made by Jaime Arkin*

Fill Me With Your Poison ~ Bella Swan’s intrigued by vampires. Edward Cullen’s bored and alone. What happens when they meet? AU, vampire. Rated M. Inspired by Katy Perry’s ET.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Supernatural – Bella & Edward – Chapters: 2 – Words: 12,965 – Reviews: 526 – Favs: 838 – Follows: 665 – Updated: 05-27-13 – Published: 05-20-11 – id: 7007740

A/N from Nolebucgrl: Hi there! Here I am again with another story, something I just couldn’t get out of my head. From the first time I heard it, “E.T.” by Katy Perry screamed Edward and Bella to me. I love the song and I loved the image I had of the two of them to go with it, so I sought to put it on paper. This is different for me. Third person, not really humorous, but it’s exactly as I saw it. I hope you enjoy!

Nolebucgrl told no lie by saying this is different for her.  Roll over Brothers Grimm; there is a new storyteller in town!   Fill Me With Your Poison doesn’t start with “Once Upon A Time” and I don’t know if it will finish with “And they all lived happily ever after,” but somehow, I feel as though Nolebucgrl is recounting a fairy tale to me.  Not a children’s one mind you – given what Edward has in mind to do with Bella – no 107-year-old virgins exist in this story!  That thought sparked my interest, and so I looked up the definition of fairy tales to see if vampires have ever been included in the genre. I discovered “A fairy tale is a type of short story that typically features folkloric fantasy characters, such as fairies, goblins, elves, trolls, dwarves, giants, mermaids, or gnomes, and usually magic or enchantments.”  Pfffttt!  They are going to need to reconsider their definition to include vampires, and IMHO, the mating bond…magic doesn’t come any more wondrous than that.

The story opens with Bella and her friends Lauren and Jessica getting dolled up for a daring night-out in Venom – a vampire club!  I’m not talking fancy dress night-club here, I mean a place you could go to meet vampires in a social setting, perhaps even be changed upon agreement of both vampire and human.  Vampires have become tired of hiding their true existence; they want to live in public without hiding behind a façade, and so following negotiations with the human leaders, deals were struck that allow them to do just that.  This whole premise of the story is unique, and one of the lures that sucked me in. (Pardon the pun.) I was completely captivated, and a bit in awe of Nolebucgrl, actually; how she came up with the methods of these vampires entering and co-existing in peace in the human world.  The thought process and precision that Nolebucgrl  must have gone through to think this up and make it all work is astounding.

Edward Cullen is the owner of Venom, but it’s obvious his power and influence stretch way beyond those four walls, and I suspect he has his own agenda for how the power balance between vampire and human will eventually play out.  His brothers Jasper and Emmett turn humans for pleasure, but the only humans Edward has ever turned were poor unfortunates he used for practice.  Then the delectable Isabella Swan walked in the door…

It was then that Edward saw her. The girl that wasn’t sure she should be there. His red gaze turned black as his eyes moved over her perfect face. Her skin was so light that it was almost translucent. Edward immediately regretted the flashing lights of the club, for he wanted to see her luminous skin in white light and in total darkness. Anywhere, really. Her wide, frightened eyes captured him, and he felt his hand tighten around the table’s edge. He wanted to touch that skin, feel that softness between his fingertips, and take the fear off her face.

He watched as she bit her lip and looked around uncertainly. Her friends had already abandoned her for his brothers, and he could tell, even without focusing on her thoughts, that she was thinking of hightailing it out of the club. He could not have that. He stood abruptly and ran down the steps, past his bodyguard. Nobody was allowed onto the second level of the club without a special invitation from Edward, and he had yet to grant one, though he was thinking of rectifying that immediately for the gorgeous girl in blue.

He ignored the writhing bodies as he walked slowly through them. Though he was impatient to be near her, he savored the path to get to her. It felt to him like something momentous was happening, and he almost swore that he felt his dead heart pounding in his chest. Too soon, and not soon enough, he was in front of the girl, and she was even more glorious up close. His eyes moved over her hungrily.

Bella saw the man-no vampire-with the strange hair approaching. It was hard to tell, with the strobe lights going off everyplace, but she swore she could see a mix of brown, blond, and red there. His eyes were black, which frightened her, but something about the way he was looking at her told her that she had nothing to fear. She felt as if she were a priceless painting or something, the way he watched her. She held her breath as he approached, for she knew he was coming for her.

When he stopped directly in front of her, she gasped at the utter beauty of the man before her. The vampire at the front door had been handsome, and the two vampires that had absconded with her friends had been even better looking. But this vampire, right in front of her, looking at her like she was the only person in the room, was the most gorgeous thing she’d ever seen in her lifetime.

He’s beautiful. Edward smiled at her thoughts.

“Hello, my name is Edward Cullen.” …

And with that “Hello,” masterful, complex, enigmatic, sexy Edward has me; he has the uncharacteristically bold and daring Bella, too.  Instead of being frightened by Edward’s vampire nature, Bella is intrigued by him and surprisingly, even to herself, she feels safe.  Edward, for his part, is dazzled and aroused by the beautiful, shy human, but more importantly, she awakens feelings he didn’t know existed.  Ah, the emergence of the mate bond…a thing of beauty to behold!  Nolebucgrl says she plans to explore the mate bond; that is akin to a melodic vampire voice to my ears, as it’s the other aspect of this story that immediately ensnared me.  From what I’ve read so far, I gather that both the fathers, Aro – yes, I said Aro – and Charlie, will prove to be forces to be reckoned with in their own way; that’s yet another element of interest to this already absorbing story.

And then they all lived err… I don’t know…but I definitely want to find out.  So, why not set off on this fascinating and delightful journey with me, and we’ll explore it together.

ET by Katy Perry – the inspiration for Fill Me With Your Poison.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7007740/1/Fill-Me-with-Your-Poison

Nolebucgrl is also a published original fiction author.  Her first book is called Code Red and her pen-name is Amy Noelle.  I recently read this book and loved it. Congratulations and I look forward to many more!

~——————–~

She’s Royal by halojones

She’s Royal ~ The Cullens are in Hawaii on holiday, but only Alice knows the reason why they are there-she’s had a premonition that Edward would finally meet his true love. But when their meeting is ruined by unforeseen circumstances, will Alice set things right again?

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Supernatural – Chapters: 20 – Words: 110,148 – Reviews: 2,663 – Favs: 2,202 – Follows: 1,214 – Updated: 03-27-09 – Published: 06-08-08 – Status: Complete – id: 4310111

Alice had a dream.  No sparkling vampires were harmed or even featured, and she didn’t make enough money to pay off her minivan loan.  What she actually did experience was a tantalizing glimpse of the perfect woman for Edward, and instead of the aforementioned good financial fortune – she maxed out Carlisle’s credit card in an effort to turn the dream into reality.

Alice’s Dream…

Edward was in a dark, crowded club. The music wasn’t the usual club music you hear in the states-it was a reggae/dancehall style. And among the sea of tanned, after beach clubbing, swaying bodies, Edward looked out of place. He was overdressed, undertanned, and standing alone. Then something caught his eye- a girl with her back to him was dancing gently to the music. Her thick, long, brunette hair swayed about a beat behind her moving hips. She was alone too, and Edward started closing the distance between them. In the background, a musical refrain could be hear loud and clear:

“she’s royal yeah, so royal,

and I need her in my life,

I never knew anyone, so one of a kind

until the night that I seen your eyes,”

Edward softly tapped her on the shoulder, smiling so widely and openly as she turned around to meet his gaze. I couldn’t see her profile as she turned, because a flower behind her ear blocked my view– but I heard Edward clearly say, “Finally.”

Sometimes in fanfic…okay… quite often in fanfic, Alice is portrayed as an annoying but likeable, interfering pixie with shopaholic tendencies.  IMHO, she is one of the hardest Twilight characters to portray somewhat canon, without turning her into a caricature.  In She’s Royal, Alice is indeed a vertically challenged, meddling, visionary, but she is perfectly balanced, and it didn’t take long for halojones to convince me to sign up for both Team Alice and her crazy plan.  Alice moves Heaven and Earth to persuade the Cullen Clan to travel en masse to Hawaii for a holiday, just so Edward can meet his mystery brunette – the woman she believes is his destiny.  Edward and Alice may be twins with a freaky special connection, but in this case, Edward is clueless and messes up – carefully laid plans of mice and Alice are trampled underfoot by him dancing with a cute girl who had…shoulder length blonde hair.  Men!  What a time for usually reserved Edward to come out of his shell!

Alice is very mindful of Edward being the loner among happy couples, and it concerns her; she insists on sharing accommodation with Rosalie so that Jasper and Emmett can bunk with Edward.  Needless to say, Jasper and Emmett are not keen on the sleeping arrangements and are determined to hook Edward up so they will be off the…err…hook IYKWIM.  Their meddling once again throws a spanner in the works, but fate is not one to give in easily; they say fate is a fickle mistress, but I say fate is stubborn as a toddler in the sweet aisle in the supermarket, – she wants her HEA for Edward and Bella and sets up another opportunity for them to meet.  Cliff diving no less…

They both laughed-knowing I was stalling. I didn’t care though-I needed a moment to get the urge up to jump. I watched the water until a new set of waves came in-the water was definitely not shallow now. And yet my feet were stuck to the rock.

“Excuse me, ” said a little boy about 10 years old. He hopped right in front of me, and leapt into the sea. Jasper and Emmett were cracking up below.

“You just got owned by a second grader, Edward,” Emmett called out.

I tried one more time to will my feet to jump-but they wouldn’t. The dread was evenly spread throughout my body now, and I seriously began to consider just walking back down the rock. I didn’t want to do it.

The light pressure of a hand was suddenly on my shoulder. “Are you okay? ” a soft voice asked gently.

“Uh, yeah.” I mumbled as I continued looking at the water-and the mocking faces of Jas and Emmett.

“Don’t look down like that. Whatever you do, don’t look down. You won’t jump if you keep staring at the water.”

I finally looked to my side to acknowledge the voice. A girl with long, brown hair was beside me, with a flower behind her ear. She had almond shaped, dark brown eyes that seemed to empathize with my situation.

“What a chicken shit you are,” Emmett cackled out from beneath.

The girl looked down to see where the voice was coming from and glared at Emmett. “Don’t listen to that idiot. People can be so rude sometimes.”

I let out a small laugh. “Actually, I sorta have to listen to that idiot. He’s my older brother.”

Her nose scrunched in disbelief. “Well, I’m sure he’s nice most of the time, but he’s not being very nice right now.”

“But that’s a big brother’s job, isn’t it? ” I countered with a smile, trying to keep the conversation going-which kept me on the rock that much longer.

“I don’t know what a big brother’s job is since I don’t have one. But if you want to jump, you need to not look down AND not listen to your big brother-doing his job apparently.”

I let out a small laugh, but I was only half listening. She bit her lip while looking at me-she looked like she was trying to figure out how to approach me.

“I came here for the first time yesterday, and I was frozen in this very place just like you. I just couldn’t get my feet to move. I was this close to just walking back down the rock and calling it a day.”

I tried to not look down and focus on her instead. “And did you get over being frozen?”

She nodded enthusiastically. “Some nice boy came up beside me, told me to stop looking down, and offered to jump with me. He held my hand, and without giving me time to think, he leapt off with me.”

Before I could respond to her, she grabbed both my hands and said, “Your turn.” 

Edward and Bella develop a fascinating bond but even with supernatural intrigue weaving its way through to bind them tight, their relationship is not the without normal human misguided decisions and some heartache.  This mystical tale of romance is all human though, with enough of a supernatural twist  to bring us into the AU realm, and is a lovely short read – perfect for a lazy day.  Take Edward by the hand and jump!

And to get you in the mood…

halojones says if Bella’s lullaby was a reggae song, it would be this:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4310111/1/She-s-Royal

~——————–~

Mo Chroí by SweetDulcinea

*Made by inside-the-disarray*

Mo Chroí ~ Summer of Smut Contest Judge’s Pick – Summer camp romance is put on hold when Edward returns home to Ireland & ended altogether after a misunderstanding. Will the next summer be torture for Bella, or will she be able to forgive & move forward? AH

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Friendship – Bella & Edward – Words: 10,495 – Reviews: 51 – Favs: 157 – Follows: 33 – Published: 08-21-09 – Status: Complete – id: 5319855

Mo Chroí was awarded a Judges’ Mention in the Summer Smut contest in 2009.

Mo Chroí is a very well-written one shot and contains a perfect blend of friendship, with a sprinkling of angst, and a bucket load of love.  Many of you ladies share my love of Irishward, but being Irish myself, I set the standard for them quite high, and believe me, this gorgeous example does not disappoint.  In fact, none of the characters do; even Garrett in the usual Jake role, made me warm to him and want to fix him up with a nice girl.

The story is set in an American summer camp where the usual suspects work as counselors.  It’s obvious from the opening scene, where Bella discovers that Edward is once again on staff for the season, that the previous year’s romance between Edward and Bella is in tatters…

June 2009

“Mary Alice Brandon, I can’t believe you,” I fumed at my best friend.

“Bella, I swear to Prada I didn’t know! Jasper told me that Edward wasn’t working this summer.”

I threw my last bag down on my bunk and glared at her. How on earth my little fashionista BFF ever came to work at a summer camp is beyond me. You would never believe someone like her could be interested in camping, wilderness, and water sports, but she somehow managed to last each summer in Tommy Hilfiger and Sperry’s. It was slightly less formal than her usual designer wardrobe, but for Alice, it was her version of camp wear. All my camp clothes came from Target.

Alice and I met at camp three summers ago when we were co-counselors in the same cabin. It was the last summer before we both started college and we bonded immediately. By midsummer, she changed her undergraduate plans and was enrolled at Texas A&M with me. That’s where she met her boyfriend Jasper, and the second summer, she dragged him to work at camp with us.

That second summer – last summer – is when I met him.

Edward and Emmett McCarty were the Irish born wonder brothers, sent by the devil himself to torture and tantalize every female staff member and camper to step foot onto the grounds of Camp Chautauqua Lake. In reality, their American mother had worked here when she was a teen, many years before meeting Edward and Emmett’s father and moving to Ireland. According to the guys, they attended a week of camp one summer when they were kids. Deciding to work there had been a last minute excuse to spend their summer in the States, and the camp director ate up the idea of having two “international” counselors on staff.

The thing you have to understand about working at a summer camp is that everything moves in fast forward, especially relationships. You spend twenty-four hours a day with a staff of less than fifty people for ten straight weeks. Every meal, every experience, and every night off are spent together. Friendships are formed quickly, and in such a small social circle, the bonds run deep and intense. In most cases, boyfriend-girlfriend relationships only take days to form from the point of initial flirtation to exclusivity.

That is exactly what happened with Edward and me.

While that is what happened the first year, this time around Edward needs to earn Bella’s forgiveness and win her back.  There is a lovely slow burn as he woos Bella.  *I’m pausing here to sigh as I let the romance of the story wash over me again.*  Their back-story is revealed as the story moves forward and we see how sweet and right they are together; beautifully passionate too.

Mo Chroí is Irish for My Heart – take five minutes to swoon over Irishward and discover why it’s the perfect title for this charming story.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5319855/1/Mo-Chroi

Author’s Blog can be found here.

~——————–~

One Summer Night by  karenec 

*Made by Falling Stars*

One Summer Night ~ When Edward Masen gets stood up at his sister’s wedding, a surprising confession from his friend Emmett might just turn the whole night around. Edward/Emmett, AH. Slashy drabbles.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Friendship – Edward & Emmett – Chapters: 2 – Words: 803 – Reviews: 30 – Favs: 17 – Follows: 32 – Updated: 06-12-13 – Published: 06-10-13 – id: 9376336

The story opens with Emmett having witnessed Edward being stood-up by his date to his sister’s wedding…

“Besides, you should thank me. Now you’re not the only single guy at this shindig.” Edward winked.

Emmett hummed in agreement as the two men walked off the elevator. Part of him wanted Edward’s date to show; clearly, his friend’s feelings were slightly dented at being stood up on such an important evening. A darker, secret corner of Emmett’s heart was glad that Alec had gone AWOL, though; Emmett had always suspected that a jackass lurked under Alec’s handsome face. He felt a smug satisfaction that Alec had finally shown his true colors … until dejection flashed in Edward’s eyes.

~oOo~

Edward put on his game face. He pushed his disappointment with Alec away, covering it with an easy laugh.

He escorted Alice down the aisle, placing her hand in Jasper’s with a feeling of satisfaction. His throat ached as the couple said their vows, and afterward, he laughed when his baby sister threw her arms around his neck in a fierce hug.

At the reception, Edward paid attention to everyone as only he could, ensuring that champagne glasses were full, that his mother had a comfortable seat, and that Alice and Jasper had food to nibble; that everyone was content.

~oOo~

“Buy you a drink?” Emmett asked when Edward finally joined him at the bar.

Edward nodded gratefully, casting a glance over his shoulder at the party in full swing. He turned back when something cold brushed the back of his hand, and accepted a glass of beer from his friend.

“Relax, Ed. It’s a good party.”

Edward’s head snapped up at Emmett’s gentle tone. The affection in his friend’s expression warmed him. “Yeah, you’re right,” he agreed with surprise. “Mom’s happy. And Alice and Jasper love it. Everyone’s having a good time.”

“The real question is,” Emmett asked, “are you?”

We are all familiar with the scenario where Edward and Bella are best friends and one of them is secretly in love with the other.  There are a myriad of ways for awareness to dawn on the oblivious party and for the relationship to morph from purely friendship to more. I’m so looking forward to the different dynamics in this story, though – in case some of you haven’t guessed it, this time, the developing relationship will be between Edward and Emmett – making this story a completely different ball-game altogether. (Sorry, I couldn’t resist it.)

One Summer Night is really only starting out, and whilst I haven’t learnt too much about the characters yet, I know Emmett is a loyal and caring friend, that much is obvious, and Edward is a wonderful, loving brother and son; for some reason I suspect he is a sensitive soul. I wondered how else to describe them to entice you to read the story, then in a review reply to me karenec said,  “Honestly, I have no idea how someone could not have feelings for Edward or Emmett — they’re way too easy to love.”  So, all of you dear readers who don’t normally read slash, I entreat you to take a chance on this couple. Why? Quite simply – these are two people who are easy to love.

I asked karenec to share her inspiration for One Summer Night ~ ” I got the idea for the story from a tumblr photo that I reblogged at some point – it is very simple, just two men in tuxes on a city sidewalk, but I thought there was a story there. When Les16’s birthday came around, I thought I’d write some drabbles as a gift. I liked the birthday offering enough to keep going into another two parts.

When I set out write something, I just go whatever pairing fits the story. The guys in the photo look like they could be Emmett and Edward to me, so that was that.” 

 

*Sweet Inspiration!*

*This story is in three parts, it is entirely prewritten, and karenec plans to post 3 times a week Mon-Wed-Fri.  Given that schedule, it will take about 8 weeks to post, start to finish.*

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/9376336/1/One-Summer-Night

~——————————~

Mmmmhhhh!  This is my vision of Summerward and below are three of my all time favourite summer fics.

Summer of Salt by lola-pops 

Summer of Salt ~ The heat wave lingers. Sweet, savory and slick. Jasper, Rose and I wade through the humid days, content in our relative isolation. We spend June through August at our family lake property, and this summer is like any other. Until it’s not.

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Angst – Bella & Edward – Chapters: 26 – Words: 88,646 – Reviews: 4,245 – Favs: 4,947 – Follows: 1,869 – Updated: 07-05-10 – Published: 12-18-09 – Status: Complete – id: 5589694

Read this for the carefree days of summer that LoloPops allows you to relive, for the strong Bella, and for a Douchbagward that you will love to hate – even while you love him.  There is no denying the heartache along the way, but it serves to make the ending that much sweeter.

~——————–~

For the Summer by camoozle

*Made by MisforMarisa*

For the Summer ~ Every year Bella waits for the ‘Pay Checks’ to roll into her sleepy river town and every year Edward’s hers, just for the summer. AH, AU, OOC, B/E

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Drama – Bella & Edward – Chapters: 19 – Words: 176,780 – Reviews: 8,640 – Favs: 6,936 – Follows: 3,766 – Updated: 08-19-10 – Published: 04-30-10 – Status: Complete – id: 5934882

Another story that will take you back in such a delightful way to a simpler time, to friendship and first kiss, then all the way to first love and sad goodbyes.  For The Summer is just adorable and unforgettable; it’s full of longing and love – a story definitely not to be missed!

~——————–~

Summer Nights by Jenny0719

Summer Nights ~ Bella Swan moves to Chicago with her son and Jacob Black. She then meets Edward Cullen and falls in love. But someone doesn’t want Bella and Edward to be together…

Rated: Fiction M – English – Romance/Angst – Bella & Edward – Chapters: 47 – Words: 234,648 – Reviews: 2,748 – Favs: 2,325 – Follows: 874 – Updated: 04-26-10 – Published: 07-13-09 – Status: Complete – id: 5215869

Oh my!  This Edward is a former naval officer, a surgeon, drop-dead-gorgeous, and for me, the pièce de résistance… an IrishAmericanward!  This story is so much more than a simple romance between Edward and the wonderful woman that is Bella.  I don’t just mean the juicy lemons either – this story has as many twists and turns as the maze at Hogwarts.  Enjoy!

~——————————~

So, ladies, Edward is waiting for you to take the plunge with him, but first, please dive right into the comments and tell us what you’ve been reading this week.

The FicSix

Rob Where Are You? part 2

RobsFan~tasy

Morning Ladies,

I’m gonna continue Rita’s post, (without her permission) as I’m missing him too.

Not Gonna say too much…this time…I think the videos will say it all for me.

Time passes so slowly. The minutes ticking on forever in your absence.

Miss you Rob!

Much Love to you all,

RobsFan~tasy

Random Rita ~ Rob, Who Are You?

♥

Good mornin’, ladies!

Just been tumblr trollin’ and came across somethin’ you might not have seen before…maybe you did, but it bears repeatin’!

You and I know how unique Rob is in every way and it tickles me plumb to death to see more and more people start to get his appeal!

Rob cannot be defined simply by association to Twilight and his role as Edward Cullen, as iconic as it has become.

The lovely Maria of Robert Pattinson Australia not only made this great vid “Who Are You: Celebrating Robert Pattinson’s Career” …

Maria also tells it like it is for all us Rob fans in a brilliant article for The London Film Review back in September!

http://www.thelondonfilmreview.com/articles/article-who-is-robert-pattinson/

We are all waitin’ with bated breath to see how Rob’s career develops post-Twilight, but let us not forget the width and breadth of the work he did before {and durin’} his journey as Edward!

Happy Tuesday, y’all!

Rita

Sensual Sunday ~ Pucker Up, Dollface!

♥

Alright, ladies!

Who has the most kissable lips God ever gave man? ROB!

Can we ever get enough of lookin’ at ’em? NO!!!

We all have a whole bucket list full of things we’d like to do with {and/or to} Rob, even if it will only ever be in our dreams…and dream we do!  But, suckin’ face with The Pretty is way high on that list!

First time I saw this photo of Rob at the Tokyo premier of Goblet of Fire is when I went “DAYUM! That’s ROB?” Cause I hadn’t started seriously huntin’ down RobPorn until Twilight came out!

And while I am completely enamoured with Rob’s PantyMeltin’Pout {I refuse to call it a TroutPout cause that’s just nasty}, what I will be focussin’ on today is the Mother of all Puckers, aka Rob’s MotherPucker!!!

Jayme! What did I just say? ME has no control LMAO!!!

See, every now and then, someone catches Rob puckerin’ those sweet lips like he’s sayin’ “Oooooh!” and I just fuckin’ SWOON!

You can see ’em  beginnin’to loosen up…

just a little bit more…

Until they look as soft as downy pillows! MWAH!!!

Aw, now that’s just overkill! And who the H E double hockey sticks put lipstick on our man!?!?!

Rob pops that MotherPucker even when he’s not aware of the cameras….

Or, maybe he IS aware of the cameras!

{Needed to see that one up close!} DAYUM! That upper lip just begs to be attacked!!!

Either way, I’m pretty sure he’s flirtin’ with us when pops it durin’ personal appearances!

How he keeps switchin’ from top lip pucker to bottom lip pucker, I’ll never know!

But MotherPuckerin’ both of ’em together? Must take a lot of practice LMAO!!!

MotherPuckerin’ even gets to us when it’s framed by Rob’s glorious scruff…

OK, so a more subtle approach to highlightin’ Rob’s MotherPucker with a little red might just grow on me…or, maybe it’s just because it’s BIEL!

Melbie’s black ‘n white just proves that Rob doesn’t need color to suck us in with his MotherPucker!

Give us a profile, MotherPucker! {wipes tear…I just kill myself sometimes!} {Click on it if it turned tiny on me!}

Three-quarter profile? Yeah, better…

OMG! The half-open MotherPucker! *THUD!*

Well, that’s me DIED, so I’d just like to take this opportunity to thank Clairebamboozle…my partner in crime on this post. She provided the gifs and some of the photos! Thanks, BB!!!

Thank you, Rob!

Happy Sunday, y’all!

Rita

Sensual Sunday ~ Rob’s Panty Meltin’ Stare!

♥

Yeah, ladies!

You know the one I mean! The one where Rob stares straight at the camera…at US…as if he knew ALL our durtiest secret desires!

Once I got that thought in my head, I knew there was only one place to go to find the best of the best, and that was our beloved Melbie Toast’s tumblr archieve LOL!

That’s the one I’m talkin’ about! *THUD!*

Rob’s eyes should be registered as lethal weapons!

Rob might not be lookin’ straight at us, but SOMEONE sure as hell was on the receivin’ end of it…hope they survived *gigglesnort!*

*GAH!* Makes me want to know what wicked thoughts are runnin’ through his beautiful head!

Would he like me to tie him up and have my evil way with him? {Where’s the key to RA’s Red Room of Pain when I need it?}

Oh, God! Maybe he wants to tie ME up? {I’ll just run get those ropes…BRB!}

No? Ah, Geez! Not the nipple clamps! Well, on second thought…

Holy hell! If I was a mind reader, I’d be thinkin’ a very nekkid Rita might be crawlin’ his way on hands and knees right about now! Or maybe that’s just wishful thinkin’!

Oh, Baby! The things I’d like to do to you! Better yet, the things you could do to me!

See that slight tilt of his lips? The man KNOWS he does this to us!  How can we resist him? We can’t…it’s that simple!

I just…

I mean…

*Fuuuuuck!*

*Can’t breath!!!*

*Hyperventilating now!!!”

If y’all ‘re lookin’ for me, I’m the big puddle of goo on the floor!

Which means I’ve lost the power of communication LOL!

Now, THIS is why Melbie’s pet name for Rob is “Sexy Beast!” LMAO!!!

I think we are all in unanimous agreement that Rob is Sex Incarnate!!!

And nobody…I mean, NOBODY rocks the Sex Hair like Rob!

I rest my case!

Happy Sunday, y’all!

Rita

Monday Madness ~ Thrill Me Thursday 4 of 4 posts!

I darted into a dark alley. With every heartbeat, I knew he was growing closer and closer, so I took another step back, farther and farther into the alley. I realized with sudden horror that this was the very same alley he had come from earlier today. I spun around, horrified to find large egg shaped shell thingies all over the alley. Large enough to hold a human being. Large enough to hold a man! One of the pods made a cracking noise and I plastered myself against the wall, away from it. A neon green light appeared over the pod, illuminating it enough for me to see what was happening all too clearly. I couldn’t believe my eyes!

This is where they were coming from! When one of the Robs was revealed to the waist, I just couldn’t look anymore. I turned my head away, coming face-to-face with the source of the neon green light. It hung in mid-air over the “new Rob” and it was looking directly at me!

 

I could hear myself screaming, my heart racing…

~ o ~

I sat bolt upright…safe in my own bed! It was a dream! It was all just a dream! I wrapped my arms around my knees and couldn’t resist the urge to laugh at myself! WTF was I so scared of? It was every Rob girl’s dream to have Rob all to herself and I had just dreamed up the perfect scenario! I laughed again at the memory of the dream.

“Honey, you all right in there?” I heard my husband call from the bathroom.

“Yeah, babe…just another wild and weird dream from my overactive imagination,” I told him as he sauntered out of the bathroom and  stepped up to the bed.  A large towel was wrapped loosely around his waist while he rubbed his head with another one to dry his wet hair.

“Was I in this dream?” he asked.

I looked up and smiled at him as he removed the towel from his head and wrapped it around his neck. I caught a glimpse of myself in the dresser mirror. I was stunned at my husbands “New Look.” And then, I saw my reflection grin wickedly back at me. I tore the towel from around his waist and tossed it across the room. Quickly grabbing both ends of the towel around his neck, I giggled as I pulled him down onto the bed with me.

“Nah, babe. This dream was about aliens,” I told him.

~O~

Have you Checked your husband/Boyfriend lately???????? Bwahahahahaha

Hope you all Enjoyed my little foray into Madness this week!

Much Love to you all,

Mwah!

 RobsFan~tasy

                                             “We all go a little Mad sometimes.”

Sensual Sunday ~ Black Book Badness

♥

Aaaah, Ladies!

Just wait until you see what I have for you today…Autum de Wilde’s photos of Rob for Black Book Magazine! AND THEN SOME!!

What a wonderful surprise when they hit our screens that day! Damned if our Bad Boy wasn’t back, big time!

Hell’n they even tatted up his arms, which was a huge turn on…

Love me forever, or let me go!

{Oh My Gawd! Is there even any question?} ‘Fraid you’re stuck with me, darlin’!  Ain’t never lettin’ go! *le sigh*

Once I got a closer look, I started wonderin’ if they’d turned Rob loose with a sharpie LMAO!

Jeez, Rita! Why would you think that?

What? You don’t remember your “balloon art?” *gigglesnort!* {Not that our boy ain’t creative in every way …

but, if they were gonna give him tatts, they coulda done better than a buncha chicken scratches, right?}

Any one of SoapyMayhem’s Tattward manips coulda given ’em all the inspiration they needed LOL!

You weren’t offended by the ‘peen,’ were you? {blushes} It just kinda…appeared!

Naw, baby, we’re good! Long as it’s not a self portrait *gigglesnort!*  Hmmm, although, on second, or third look LMAO!

I’ll never tell LOL!

{Crap! Remove brain from gutter…back to business} Our man looks amazing in everything from Gucci to hobo but, as far as I’m concerned, Rob compliments the clothes, not the other way around! Even yellow pants we would otherwise find completely hideous LOL!

Back to resorting to flattery to get my attention, Rita?

Ain’t nuthin’ but the truth, Rob…own it, sweetheart!!!

OK, this is the best we got of this one and I’m DYING for a better quality color outtake!  Just couldn’t bring myself to leave it out, cause Rob… {me?}… full length mirror??? {THUD! Straight back to the gutter!}

Hmmm, I could probably think of a few things…

*Fuuuuck!*  I’ll bet you could, darlin’…only not with me {story of my life *groan*}!

Aw, hell! You know I love you, Rita…just not that way!

Love you too, angel…always will!!!

♥     ♥     ♥

Ya’ll ready for the “AND THEN SOME!!” part of this post? @Fearlessmore~InRobWeLust has done Rob proud with her edits of this photoshoot!

Autumn de Wilde ~ Black Book 2012 / Norman Jean Roy ~ Details 2010

Autumn de Wilde ~ Black Book 2012 / Stewart Shining ~ Elle France 2009

Autumn de Wilde ~ Black Book 2012 / Hedi Slimane ~ Another Man 2009

Autumn de Wilde ~ Black Book 2012 / Theo Wenner ~ US Weekly 2009

Autumn de Wilde ~ Black Book 2012 / Matt Jones ~ Cosmo Girl 2009

and a double Autumn de Wilde ~ Black Book 2012

Are these not just the most amazing things you’ve ever seen???

Happy Sunday, ya’ll!

Rita

Sensual Sunday ~ It’s Barcelona, Baby!!! – Part 2

Welcome back, ladies!!

It’s Part 2 of Rob in Barcelona. This time, it’s for the premier of Breaking Dawn, Part 1, on November 17, 2011!

This will be somewhat of a departure from what you are used to seeing from me, but, what can I say…I was inspired!

Last FanFictionFriday, the lovely Cared rec’d a story called “The Agreement” by Gemgirl65 and, Oh My Rob, if you are not reading it yet, you really should!

In chapter 5, Bella recites part of a poem for Edward:

“The Lover”

by Solveig Von Schoultz

My eyes want to kiss your face.

I have no power over my eyes.

They just want to kiss your face.

I flow towards you out of my eyes,

A fine heat trembles round your shoulders,

It slowly dissolves your contours

And I am there with you, your mouth

And everywhere around you –

I have no power over my eyes.

It rocked me big time and I’m not a poetry fan…don’t know any, don’t read any, not my thing. But, for Rob’s sake, I went searching for the rest of it:

I sit with my hands in my lap,

I shan’t touch you and I’ll never speak.

But my eyes kiss your face,

I rise out of myself and no-one can stop me,

I flow out and I’m invisible,

I cannot stop this unfathomable flowing, {could NOT resist!}

this dazzle that knows neither end nor beginning —

but when at last you turn your eyes towards me,

your unaware, questioning, stranger’s eyes,

I sink myself back into my hands

and take up my place again under my eyelids.

*Gigglesnort!* So, did I completely freak you out?

Happy Sunday, ya’ll!

Rita